What Lisa Watched Last Night #103: Death Clique (dir by Doug Campbell)

Posted on April 13, 2014 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Bermuda Tentacles and Robot Vs. Aztec Mummy were not the only movies I watched on Saturday night. I also DVRed Death Clique, a Lifetime original film.

Why Was I Watching It?

How can you not watch a film called Death Clique, especially when it’s on Lifetime?

What Was It About?

Teenagers Sara (Lexi Ainsworth) and Jade (Brittany Underwood) have been friends forever. However, when new transfer student Ashley (Tina Ivlev) decides that she wants to be Jade’s new BFF, it leads to murder. According to the opening credits, this is based on “true events.” (There’s been a lot of speculation on the imdb message boards that Death Clique was based on the horrific murder of Skylar Neese but, while there are similarities, I don’t know that for sure.)

What Worked?

I’m not totally sure how closely Death Clique stuck to the true story that inspired it. I’m going to guess that some parts of the film were heavily fictionalized, just by the fact that no “real” names were used. But, even with all that in mind, Death Clique was a disturbing and effective movie about friendship, obsession, and murder. When you watch as many Lifetime films as I do, you end up seeing a lot of melodrama in a lot of high schools. Death Clique may not be the first Lifetime film to deal with this topic but it is unique in that it not only got the melodrama right but it got the little details right as well.

A lot of the credit for the film’s success has to go to the actresses who played the three friends — Lexi Ainsworth, Brittany Underwood, and Tina Ivlev were totally believable in their roles.

What Did Not Work?

It all worked. This was an effective and well-made Lifetime film.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

There were more than I would like to admit. When I think back to high school and even to college, I can see that there were times when I was just like Jade and when I was just like Sara. I’ve been the girl with the new and possessive BFF and I’ve also been the girl who suddenly discovers that she’s become the third wheel. While I don’t think I’ve ever truly been an Ashley, I know what its like to be possessive of a new friend. Up until the murder, every scene in this film had me saying, “Oh my God! Just like me!”

There’s one scene, in particular, that struck uncomfortably close to home for me. That was when Jade and Ashley slashed the tires of a car belonging to their hated Spanish teacher. In my case, the car belonged to an algebra teacher and, without going into too many details, I was totally justified.

Lessons Learned

Choose your friends carefully.

An Extremely Short Review of The Robot Vs. The Aztec Mummy

Posted on April 13, 2014 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The other night, the Late Night Movie crew and I watched The Robot Vs. The Aztec Mummy, a Mexican film from 1958 that featured an Aztec mummy guarding a treasure in a tomb and the robot that a mad scientist creates to defeat it. I’ve rewatched the film twice and I still have absolutely no idea what the Hell’s going on. However, the robot is kind of cute and the mad scientist looks like he might be distantly related to Orson Welles.

If you want to watch this short film and then maybe leave a comment explaining it to me, please feel free.

What Lisa and the Snarkalecs Watched Last Night #102: Bermuda Tentacles (dir by Nick Lyon)

Posted on April 13, 2014 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, the Snarkalecs and I turned over to SyFy so we could watch and live tweet the latest offering from the Asylum, Bermuda Tentacles!

Why Were We Watching It?

Because it was the first SyFy original film of 2014, that’s why! Seriously, yesterday should have been a freaking national holiday. (Sad to say but rumor has it that the SyFy network may be looking to phase out original films — like Bermuda Tentacles — in order to devote more time to episodic television. I sincerely hope that the network will reconsider that plan.)

What Was It About?

The President (John Savage) has gone missing in the Bermuda Triangle. It’s up to rebellious Chief Petty Officer Trip Oliver (Trevor Donavon) to save him! But while Trip and his crew float around under the sea in a submarine, gigantic CGI tentacles attack Admiral Linda Hamilton and the entire U.S. Navy. Could the two events be related?

What Worked?

What do I always say about Asylum films? It all worked. Asylum films are the epitome of low-budget fun and that was certainly the case here. To be honest, those who criticize a film like Bermuda Tentacles are missing the point.

Asylum films are designed to be watched by large groups of snarky individuals. That’s why I always look forward to watching them with the Snarkalecs. And I have to say that we, as a group, were on fire last night! We were all in full snark mood and it was a wonderful thing to behold. Unfortunately, we weren’t able to get #BermudaTentacles trending, largely because there were thousands of tweens tweeting about fucking Ashton Irwin at the same time we were tweeting about the movie. But still, it was a good effort and everyone should be proud.

One thing that the Snarkalecs seemed to especially appreciate about Bermuda Tentacles was just how long, by Oval Office standards, the President’s hair was.

All across America, people are saying, "Where is our long-haired, hipster President?" #BermudaTentacles

— Lisa Marie Bowman (@LisaMarieBowman) April 13, 2014

https://twitter.com/trinityskywlker/status/455164564212944896

"@dawnsnarks: Was POTUS a sub driver before his gig as a roadie? #BermudaTentacles" he WAS blue collar… you can tell by his hair!

— Bronwyn Kelly-Slays (@shinybabyb) April 13, 2014

@LisaMarieBowman it's probably for the best. just imagine how bad his hair looks now #BermudaTentacles

— Johnny (@johnny_williams) April 13, 2014

The President used to play bass in the Steve Miller Band. #BermudaTentacles

— Lisa Marie Bowman (@LisaMarieBowman) April 13, 2014

Thank you, John Savage, for not getting a haircut!

What Did Not Work?

I have to admit that, unlike TSL editor-in-chief Arleigh Sandoc, I’m hardly an expert as far as military history or ranks are concerned. However, it was obvious, even to me, that the Navy in Bermuda Tentacles didn’t appear to follow any sort of real-world protocol. Quite a few people on twitter doubted that an admiral would be on a destroyer and some had issues with a scene where the President referred to Oliver as being a “soldier” as opposed to being a “sailor.” This really wasn’t a big deal to me because, quite frankly, I hardly expect Asylum films to be documentaries. However, judging from some of the comments on twitter, it was a big deal to quite a few people who had actually served in the Navy.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

I had a harder time than usual relating to the characters in Bermuda Tentacles, largely because they were all career military whereas I majored in art history. I was happy to see that the Admiral was a woman and that none of the men in her command had any problems with taking orders from her. I would hope that, if I was an admiral, I would be just as effective.

Lessons Learned

There’s nothing quite as uniquely fun as watching a SyFy film with the Snarkalecs. I’m already excited for the SyFy premiere of Big Ass Spider next Saturday.

The Raid 2: Berandal “Gang War” Deleted Scene

Posted on April 12, 2014 by Arleigh

So, just got back from watching The Raid 2: Berandal and I must say that I was left speechless. So, while I gather my thoughts in order to write up a review here’s a clip released by director Gareth Evans of a scene removed from the finished film due to pacing issues.

It’s a scene that took close to 6 days to set-up and film and quite a bit of money to do so. The fact that it’s a scene so heavy in action that it was still deleted from the film just goes to show just how awesome were the action in the film that this particular one was left on the cutting room floor.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #101: The Trials of Cate McCall (dir by Karen Moncrieff)

Posted on April 11, 2014 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last Saturday, I watched the Lifetime premiere of The Trials of Cate McCall. (Okay, so technically I did not watch this last night. Instead, I watched it on Saturday night. However, if not for the fact that I came down with literally the world’s worst cold, I would have written this review on Sunday. Cut a girl some slack, okay?)

Why Was I Watching It?

Because it was on Lifetime, of course!

What Was It About?

What isn’t it about? Seriously, Cate McCall (Kate Beckinsale) has got a lot going on in her life.

Cate is a defense attorney. She used to be a prosecutor but then she convicted the wrong man and she dealt with her guilt by becoming an alcoholic. However, after being a few months sober and working under the watchful eye of her AA sponsor (Nick Nolte, of course), Cate is ready to take on the case of a Lacey Stubbs. Cate is convinced that Lacey was wrongly convicted of murder and she is determined to get Lacey out of a prison. Presiding over the case is Justice Sumpter (James Cromwell), who Cate had an affair with while she was a law student.

And, on top of all this, Cate is trying to get custody of her daughter and the innocent man she sent to prison wants to talk to her…

What Worked?

In the title role, Kate Beckinsale gave a great performance. Due to the film’s somewhat disjointed editing, Kate had to basically carry the entire movie on her shoulders and she proved herself to be more than up to the task.

According to the imdb, Taye Diggs played the character of Austin Moseby. However, at least in the version that was broadcast on Lifetime, there was no character named Austin Moseby and Taye Diggs was nowhere to be found. I have to admit that I’ve had a lot of fun speculating about who Austin Moseby might have been and why Taye Diggs was apparently edited out of the film. (Okay, technically, that’s not something that worked for the movie but it has worked towards keeping me amused.)

What Did Not Work?

Despite the snarky commentary that I posted on twitter while watching this film, I was really rooting for The Trials of Cate McCall. Kate Beckinsale is one of my favorite actresses, I loved courtroom dramas, and I feel that I have something of a responsibility to support films that feature complex and multi-faceted female protagonists. In other words, I so wanted The Trials of Cate McCall to be a good film.

Sadly, however, this film was never as good as I wanted it to be. Whether it was the result of postproduction meddling or just inept filmmaking, The Trials of Cate McCall ultimately ended up feeling like a random collection of scenes that never quite added up to being a compelling narrative. The film had potential but it just did not work.

Add to that, regardless of whether they were justified or not, Cate McCall’s actions towards the end of the film really should have gotten her disbarred.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

Who couldn’t relate to Cate’s struggles to balance about six hundred different things at one time?

Lessons Learned

Just because Taye Diggs is listed as being in a movie doesn’t mean that he’s actually in the movie…

Trailer: 24: Live Another Day

Posted on April 11, 2014 by Lisa Marie Bowman

On May 5th, Jack Bauer’s back! How many people will he kill this time?

TV Review: Bates Motel 2.6 “Plunge”

Posted on April 11, 2014 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Now, I know what you’re saying.

“Gee, Lisa — late much?”

Well, yes, this review of the latest episode of Bates Motel is rather late and for that I apologize. I have spent this week dealing with the world’s worst cold. Seriously, it has been pure misery! However, as I sit here rewatching “Plunge” and working on my review, I think that I may finally be on the road to recovery.

In short, I think I’m finally well enough to take the plunge and review this week’s episode!

This episode was all about people taking “the plunge,” both figuratively and literally.

For instance, Emma — after being goaded by both her new pot-dealing boyfriend and Norman’s latest unlikely girlfriend, Cody — removed her oxygen tank and took a plunge into freezing water and nearly died as a result. Fortunately, Norman Bates was on hand to pull her out of the water and save her life. On any other show, this would lead to the rebirth of Norman and Emma’s romance but, since this is Bates Motel, Norman ends up going so overboard in his anger towards Cody and Emma’s boyfriend (who I know has a name but I can never remember it) that he quickly goes from being a hero to being the guy who freaks everyone out.

(On a personal note, I have to admit that this whole sequence freaked me out because I don’t swim and, as a result, I very much found myself identifying with poor Emma.)

Norma, meanwhile, takes a plunge into municipal politics. With the encouragement of her new friend Christine (who I don’t trust) and Christine’s brother George, Norma lobbies to be appointed to the city council. The Mayor — whose name is Rob — agrees while making it clear that he’s mostly appointing Norma because of who she knows (i.e. Nick Ford).

To a certain extent, you have to wonder just how naïve Norma is. At the start of this episode, Norma confronted Nick and told him that she didn’t want to work with him anymore. Nick, more or less, told her that she didn’t have much choice in the matter. Now, she’s been appointed to the city council and you have to wonder if she realizes just how much of a pawn she has actually become.

Speaking of being a pawn, Dylan has taken the plunge of moving in with Jodi ~~Ford~~ Wilson (Kathleen Robertson), ~~Nick’s daughter and~~ the head of one of the two drug cartels that are currently at war. Is White Pine Bay really big enough for two drug cartels? The drug war, to be honest, feels like it belongs in a totally different show. But, I like Max Thieriot so I can’t complain too much.

Sheriff Romero, who is still living at the Bates Motel, took the plunge of informing Norma that, from his motel room, he has a view of her whenever she undresses in her bedroom. The awkward flirting between Norma and Romero has been one of the highlights of the second season.

Finally, Norman took the plunge of trying to get his driver’s license. However, Cody told Emma that Norman suffers from blackouts and Emma responded by calling Norma and telling her (at the exact moment that Norma is watching Norman taking his test). Norma responds by running over to the car and telling Norman’s driving instructor. The end result: Norman can’t give his driver’s license and now has another reason to both resent and be dependent upon Norma.

Random Observations:

Vera Farmiga kicks ass. I know that’s become a running theme as far as my Bates Motel reviews are concerned but seriously, she really does. This week’s Vera Farmiga highlight was the scene where she literally ran down a hill to jump onto Cody’s car.
Speaking of kicking ass, just how scary is Michael O’Neill in the role of Nick Ford? That man can make a simple hello sound like a threat.
“Who’s Rob?” That’s okay, Norma. I’m not always sure who my mayor is either.
I found myself wondering which three senators George helped to get elected.
“There are reasons he should not drink. Medical reasons. And that’s all I’m going to say.”
Norman’s flashbacks while hiding in the closet were disturbingly effective.
Wouldn’t it be neat if it turned out the Mayor was related to Nick Ford as well and his name was Rob Ford?
If I was Norman’s mom, I probably wouldn’t like Cody either. Seriously, mother’s worse nightmare that one is. That said, I relate to the character. I went through my Cody phase when I was younger. I think everyone has.
George gets extra cool points for liking The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance.
Bates Motel has been renewed for a third season! So, we’ve got at least one more year of White Pine Bay melodrama to look forward to.

Fear The Creature From The Haunted Sea

Posted on April 10, 2014 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I have this fear that someday I’ll meet Roger Corman and before I can compliment him for directing and producing so many entertaining films or praise him for helping so many women break into the film industry or talk about the subversive feminism of his 70s exploitation films, Corman will ask me something like, “So, what did you think of Creature From The Haunted Sea?”

Because, seriously…

Creature From The Haunted Sea, which the Late Night Movie crew and I watched after Space Raiders, was originally released in 1961. It tells the story of a mobster named Renzo (Anthony Carbone) who flees Cuba with a bunch of stolen gold. Renzo finds himself stranded on a boat with a group of revolutionaries, a guy who communicates by making animal noises, and a CIA agent (played by future Oscar-winning screenwriter, Robert Towne). Anyway, Renzo plans to double-cross everyone by exploiting their fear of the legendary creature of the haunted sea. However, the joke is on Renzo because it turns out that the creature is real.

In the past, I have defended Roger Corman as a director and I imagine that I’ll do so again in the future. However, Creature From The Haunted Sea has got to be one of the most boring films that I have ever seen, a film that starts as a comedy and then tries to turn into a horror film but never really succeeds in being funny or scary. So little happens in the film that it ends up becoming oddly fascinating.

That said, if you’re a fan of Roger Corman’s or a student of B-cinema, you should make time to watch Creature From The Haunted Sea. While the film might not be exactly watchable, the story behind it is vintage Corman. Reportedly, Creature From The Haunted Sea was produced because Corman had just finished directing The Last Woman On Earth in Puerto Rico and had some film left over. So, he decided why not make another movie? Regardless of the film’s final quality, it’s hard not to respect Roger’s refusal to allow any opportunity to pass by.

Beyond that, I would recommend Creature From The Haunted Sea for two reasons. Number one, the opening credits feature some cute cartoons and you know I can’t resist a cute cartoon. Finally, the creature itself simply has to be seen to be believed. How can you not be somewhat charmed by a monster that appears to be made out of sea weed and ping-pong balls?

If you dare, check out Creature From The Haunted Sea below.

A Quickie In Space: Space Raiders (dir by Howard R. Cohen)

Posted on April 10, 2014 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last Saturday was Roger Corman’s 88th birthday and what better way to celebrate than to watch one of the many low-budget but undeniably entertaining films that the great man has produced?

That’s just what I did on Saturday with my Late Night Movie friends. The movie we watched was an obscure 1983 science fiction film called Space Raiders. Now, technically, this film was directed by Howard Cohen but, from the first frame, it was obviously a Roger Corman film. It was also a lot of fun.

Space Raiders takes place in the distant future, at a time when intergalactic corporations have colonized planets with sullen children and space criminals spend their spare time hanging out in dank space stations. From the minute the film opens with a scene of robots doing menial labor in a factory while a the factory foreman assures the human workers that the next company picnic will take place on a planet where it doesn’t rain, there’s little doubt that the main message of Space Raiders is that the future sucks.

10 year-old Peter (David Mendelhall) lives on the planet of Proycon III (which, if nothing else, is a great name for a planet). Neglected by his wealthy parents and apparently being the only child on Proycon III, Peter spends his spare time sneaking into robot-filled factories and capturing space bugs. That’s what Peter is doing when he witnesses a daring raid by a group of — wait for it — space raiders! Led by the surly but kind-hearted Hawk (Vince Edwards), the raiders steal a spaceship from the factory. What they don’t realize is that Peter (and the bug that he had just captured seconds before the raid) has stowed away on the ship.

At first, Hawk is not enthusiastic about Peter being on the ship and Peter just wants to get home. However, as the space raiders deal with both intergalactic cops and alien gangsters, Hawk and the kid start to bond and Peter gets to know the rest of the crew.

Now, to be honest, the majority of Hawk’s crew were pretty interchangeable but my friends and I quickly decided that our favorite was the one that we named Capt. Forehead (played by Thom Christopher). Capt. Forehead was an alien who had psychic powers and who carried himself with the wounded dignity of a head waiter having a bad night. It was hard not to like him.

Anyway, Peter’s parents want their son back and, since they work for an evil corporation, they have no problem hiring evil mercenaries to get their son back. It all leads to a lot of people shooting lasers at each other and exploding spaceships.

Now, honestly, we can get all technical and picky about whether or not the plot of Space Raiders made any sense or whether or not any of the actors gave good performances. We can even talk about the logic of the scene where Peter –upon realizing that Hawk is on a different spaceship than him — responds by attempting to yell, “HAWK!” across the far reaches of space.

But you know what?

That’s missing the point.

In the way that only a low-budget science fiction film produced by Roger Corman can be, Space Raiders was a lot of fun. The movie moved quickly, the aliens were fun to look at, and the special effects were charmingly cheap. Flaws and all, Space Raiders had more humanity than Man of Steel, more humor than Gravity, and it was a lot shorter than Avatar.

Watch it below and see for yourself.

Lisa’s Way Too Early Oscar Predictions For April

Posted on April 9, 2014 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As I explained in March, I’m going to be doing a monthly series of posts in which I’m going to attempt to predict which 2014 films will be Oscar-nominated.

Obviously, at this point of the year, the nominations listed below are less like predictions and more like random guesses. However, if nothing else, these early predictions will be good for a laugh or two once the actual Oscar race becomes a bit more clear.

Below, you’ll find my predictions for April. Check out my predictions for March here.

Best Picture

Birdman

Boyhood

Foxcatcher

Get On Up

The Imitation Game

Interstellar

Unbroken

Whiplash

Wild

Best Director