Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Nightmare Café 1.4 “The Heart of Mystery”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Nightmare Café, which ran on NBC from January to April of 1992.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, a dying detective is allowed a chance to solve one last case.

Episode 1.4 “The Heart of Mystery”

(Dir by John Harrison, originally aired on March 20th, 1992)

This week’s episode of Nightmare Café is the first to largely focus on a guest star.  While Jack Coleman and Lindsay Frost do play roles in this week’s episode and Robert Englund’s Blackie actually gets to do more than usual, the majority of the episode is still dominated by Timothy Carhart as Detective Stan Gates.

One dark night, Stan chases a young thief (played by Alfonso Quijada) into a dark alley.  When the thief pulls a gun on him, Stan explains that he’s a police officer and he’s not trying to take the thief to jail.  He explains that he knows the young man is on drugs and is not in full control of his actions.  He asks the young man to give him the gun.

Meanwhile, in the nearby Nightmare Café, a bored Frank and Fay are playing a game of Clue.  (Colonel Mustard did it.)  Stan walks into the café and asks for a cup of coffee.  Robert Englund’s Blackie suddenly appears sitting in a booth and eating from a bag of popcorn.  He introduce himself to Stan and then leads Stan over to a window.  Looking through the window, Stan can see himself and the thief in the alley.  The thief has fired the gun and the bullet appears to be suspended in the air.  Blackie explains that the café has slowed down time to give Stan the chance to solve one last case before the bullet hits and kills him.

The case involves the death of Charlotte Bening (Laura Mae Tate), a wealthy woman with whom Stan was in love.  One night, when Stan was investigating a break-in at her mansion, Stan fired his weapon at what he believed to be the burglar.  Someone hit him from behind, knocking him out.  When Stan woke up, he discovered that the person who was actually shot was Charlotte!  While the police ruled it an accidental shooting, Stan was convinced that someone specifically set him up.  Could it have been Charlotte’s brother, a frustrated artist named Philip (Denis Forest, who also appeared in last week’s episode of Friday the 13th)?  Or could it have been …. well, there is no one else, actually.  The great Lochlyn Munro does make a brief appearance as one of Charlotte’s more aggressive suitors but he’s only onscreen for a few minutes.  There’s not much suspense to this mystery.

That said, I did enjoy this episode of Nightmare Café, which not only pays homage to film noir but which also features Robert Englund at his quippy best as he passive-aggressively pushes Stan into solving the case.  Fay does briefly leave the café so that she can pretend to be the producer of a true crime series and interview some of the people who knew Charlotte and Stan but, for the most part, this episode is centered around Timothy Carhart and Robert Englund and both of them carry things nicely.  Though the episode’s format probably confused those who, on the basis of the previous three episode, didn’t realize that Nightmare Café was originally envisioned as being an anthology series, The Heart of Mystery holds up very well.

Horror on TV: The Hitchhiker 6.1 “Fading Away” (dir by Jerry Ciccoritti)


On tonight episode of The Hitchhiker, Nick Mancusco gives a strong performance as an ex-Marine who struggles to distinguish reality from his paranoid fantasy.  The Hitchhiker himself has a little bit more sympathy for the main character in this episode than he’s had for characters in previous episodes.

This episode originally aired on September 21st, 1990 and was the first episode of the show’s sixth season.

 

Retro Television Reviews: Miami Vice 1.7 “One Eyed Jack”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Vice gets a new leader!

Episode 1.7 “One Eyed Jack”

(Dir by Lee H. Katzin, originally aired on November 2nd, 1984)

Oh, that Sonny Crockett.  He’s got problems!

For one thing, animal control is still showing up at the harbor and trying to repossess his pet alligator, Elvis.  Sonny manages to talk them out of it by explaining that Elvis is actually employed by the Miami Police Department.  Sonny even flashes his badge as proof, which I found strange since I thought the whole idea of Sonny living on the boat was so that he could convince everyone that he was actually a big time drug dealer.  For someone who is supposed to be deep undercover, Sonny never seems to make much of an effort to hide the fact that he’s a cop.

Crockett and Tubbs have been assigned to stakeout a bookie in the hope that it’ll lead to the arrest of his boss, a supposedly “untouchable” gangster named Al Lombard (Dennis Farina, who was always a totally convincing gangster despite actually being a Chicago cop).  Crockett is shocked to see his ex-girlfriend, Barbara (Janet Constable), begging the bookie for more time to pay off her gambling debts.  Apparently, Barbara is so far in debt that Lombard’s second-in-command, Vince DeMarco (played by former Andy Warhol superstar, Joe Dallesandro), has stolen the tools that Barbara’s husband needs to make a living.

Seeking to help out his ex, Crockett approaches Vince and requests that he return the tools.  Vince explains that the tools have already been destroyed and then offers Crockett an envelope full of cash as payment for them.  Crockett takes the envelope and is promptly arrested by Internal Affairs Detective Schroeder (Dan Hedaya, as wonderfully sleazy as ever).  It turns out that Vince agreed to expose a dirty  cop in return for being granted immunity on some racketeering charges.

Everyone knows that Crockett has been framed.  In the past, Lou Rodriguez would have stood by Crockett but Rodriguez died two episodes ago and the new head of vice is Lt. Martin Castillo (Edward James Olmos).  Accurately described as being “Charles Bronson by way of Havana,” by Tubbs, Castillo is an enigmatic figure, one who rarely speaks or shows the slightest hint of emotion.  He has a withering stare that can be terrifying in its intensity.  When Tubbs, feeling that Castillo isn’t being properly supportive of Crockett, demands to know, “Whose side are you on?,” Castillo replies, “Don’t ever come up to my face like this again, Detective,” and the viewer is left with no doubt that Castillo is perhaps the most terrifying man in Miami.

After Barbara turns up dead, Tubbs goes undercover.  After meeting with DeMarco, Tubbs works his way up to Lombard.  Tubbs claims to be a gangster from Philadelphia who is looking to get in on the action in Miami.  (“If Miami doesn’t have it,” DeMarco assures him, “nobody’s thought of it yet.”)  Lombard takes a liking to Tubbs and hires him to deal with his Black and Spanish “clientale.”  Soon, Tubbs and DeMarco are hitting the cockfights and going to the club with Lombard.  Tubbs also frames DeMarco for the theft of $2,000.  Realizing that Lombard is probably going to try to kill him, DeMarco not only signs a paper exonerating Crockett but he also wears a wire the next time that he and Tubbs visit Lombard’s yacht.

Good news, right?  Well, it would be …. except that Barbara’s husband Jerry (Jimmie Ray Weeks) sneaks onto the yacht and shoots DeMarco dead before Lombard says anything incriminating.  Jerry goes to prison and Lombard goes free.  Crockett and Tubbs end up on Crockett’s boat, fishing at ten o’clock at night.  Crockett says that it’s the only way to stay sane.

What a dark episode!  Crockett was exonerated but his otherwise perfect plan fell apart.  This episode truly presented Miami as being a decadent playground, one that could make someone rich just as easily as it could destroy them.  While Jerry and Barbara lived in a small, run-down house, DeMarco wore expensive suits and Lombard lived on an expensive yacht and neither one gave much thought to the people whose lives were destroyed by their activities.  With Crockett sidelined by the IA investigation, Tubbs finally got his chance to shine and Philip Michael Thomas did a good job of capturing the adrenaline rush of becoming a part of Lombard’s world.  As opposed to the cynical and weary Crockett, Tubbs seems like he could be seriously tempted to switch sides in the war on crime.  In the end, Tubbs outsmarted DeMarco not by being better than him but instead by being even more ruthless.  And yet, for all the dark vibes to be found in this episode, the glamour of life in Miami was undeniably appealing.  Where else, the episode asked, can you arrest the bad guys while also working on your tan and hanging out on the beach?

Indeed, I find myself feeling a bit jealous of Gina (played by Saundra Santiago).  So far, she hasn’t gotten to do much on the show beyond being Sonny’s sometime girlfriend.  But she still gets to wear the best clothes and hang out with the coolest people and she gets to do it all while carrying a gun.  What more could one ask for?

Next week, Bruce Willis makes his television debut!

October True Crime Bonus!: Michael Alig on Geraldo


The film Party Monster, which I just reviewed, was a very bad version of the somewhat interesting true story of how Michael Alig went from being a New York nightlight celebrity to a convicted murderer.  One of the biggest problems with the film was Macauley Culkin’s dull performance as Alig.

As bonus to my review of Party Monster, here’s a 1994 episode of — ugh —  Geraldo, featuring Alig, the Club Kids, and the soon-to-be-deceased Angel.  Alig and his club kids still come across as if they’re trying way too hard to be outrageous (they’re the ultimate conforming nonconformists) and I will warn you that watching this clip will mean spending 44 minutes with one of the most fatuous media personalities in American history.  But still, this episode does feature a look at the story that Party Monster totally screwed up.  Just two years after this episode aired, Alig would kill Angel and dismember him in a bathtub.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Degrassi Junior High 1.6 “Rumor Has It”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi Junior High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1987 to 1989!  The series can be streamed on YouTube!

This week, on Degrassi Junior High, Caitlin Ryan gets her first spotlight episode!

Episode 1.6 “Rumor Has It”

(Dir by Kit Hood, originally aired on February 22nd, 1987)

This week’s episode of Degrassi Junior High started the long and proud tradition of certain Degrassi episodes not being aired outside of Canada because of their content.  In this case, several stations in the US and the the BBC in the UK declined to air this episode because it dealt with Caitlin having dreams about her teacher, Ms. Avery (Michelle Goodeve).  Becuase Ms. Avery is rumored to be a lesbian, Caitlin starts to get nervous about what her dreams mean and whether she will also be the subject of rumors and whispers.  This episode was not only the first Degrassi episode to not air in some markets but it was also the first one to focus on Caitlin who, as played by Stacie Mistysyn, would go on to become one the key figures in the franchise.

(Interestingly enough, this is also the first episode of Degrassi Junor High to not feature Joey, outside of a few scenes where he’s in the background.  It’s perhaps for the best.  Middle school Joey does not seem like he would be quite as sensitive about Caitlin’s feelings as adult Joey would have been on Degrassi: The Next Generation.)

For an episode that apparently quite controversial, this episode seems remarkably tame today.  Indeed, half of the episode doesn’t even deal with Caitlin and her dreams but instead features Arthur and Yick following around Rick because they’re  convinced that Rick stole a hundred dollars from Yick’s locker and then used it to buy a big bag of black licorice.  Arthur, who dreams of either becoming a cop or at least heading up a neighborhood watch, even brings an oversized magnifying class so that he can investigate the crime.  Arthur and Yick follow Rick everywhere, watching as he forced his big bag of black licorice on everyone he meets.  Rick claims that he won a hundred dollars in the lottery.  If you won a hundred dollars, would you waste it on a bag of black licorice?  Then again, if you stole a hundred dollars from someone’s locker, would you waste it on a bag of black licorice?  And seriously, who likes black licorice anyway?  I mean, is life in Toronto so boring and unsatisfying that black licorice is actually the only thing that people have to look forward to?  For that matter, Rick was introduced as the brooding delinquent who never smiled or talked to anyone.  Since when does he care if everyone has black licorice?  (This really does sound more like something Joey would have done.)  Eventually, Rick gets tired of Arthur and Yick following him around and tells them to leave him alone or risk getting beat up.  Immediately afterwards, Yick finds the missing money.  It turns out that it was in the locker all the time!

Meanwhile, Caitlin is haunted by a dream in which Ms. Avery, her favorite teacher, calls her to the front of the class and praises her classwork.  Suddenly, Caitlin is aware that all of her classmates are whispering about how both she and Ms. Avery must be lesbians.  Caitlin wakes up, shaken.

The next day, at school, mean girl Kathleen lists all of the evidence that has convinced her that Ms. Avery is a lesbian.  (It’s not a surprise that Kathleen is the one spreading the rumor.)  Ms. Avery is unmarried.  Ms. Avery does not have a boyfriend.  In fact, the only man that Ms. Avery is ever seen talking to is Mr. Raditch and apparently, no one can imagine the idea of anyone ever dating Mr. Raditch.  Ms. Avery is given a ride to school every day by a woman and, one day, Kathleen swears that she saw Ms. Avery and the woman kiss each other on the cheek.

Despite the fact that Kathleen and Caitlin have nothing in common and should, by all logic, hate each other, Caitlin still invites Kathleen to a sleep-over at her place.  Kathleen, Susie Rivera, Melanie, and Caitlin spend their time prank calling teachers.  When Caitlin calls Ms. Avery, she’s surprised when a woman answers and she quickly hangs up.  It is, to be honest, the lamest sleep over ever.

Because Caitlin refuses to join in the rumor-mongering about Ms. Avery, Kathleen tells Susie that she should stop hanging out with her because Caitlin might be a lesbian and soon, everyone will think the same of Susie.  When Susie tells Caitlin what people are saying, Caitlin freaks out.  The next day, when Ms. Avery attempts to put her hand on Caitlin’s shoulder while praising her latest essay, Caitlin asks Ms. Avery not to touch her.  Ms. Avery tells Caitlin to speak to her after class.

After class, Caitlin tells Ms. Avery that people think she might be a lesbian.  Ms. Avery asks what evidence they have and then she explains that being single doesn’t make you a lesbian and neither does having a roommate and neither does sharing an innocent peck on the cheek with a friend.  Ms. Avery and Caitlin step outside of the school together and …. hey, it’s Mr. Raditch, waiting to give Ms. Avery a ride home!

Sensitive by 1987 standards and tame by today’s standard, this episode cops out a little at the end by saying, “Ms. Avery’s sexuality is no one’s business …. but, by the way, she’s definitely not a lesbian.”  Stacie Mistysyn and Michelle Goodeve deserve a lot of credit for their performances in this episode and, in the role of Kathleen, Rebecca Haines was the perfect mean girl.  But, at the same time, there was also all of that stupid stuff with Arthur, Yick, and Rick.  For all of its notoriety, this is actually a pretty uneven episode.

Horror on TV: The Hitchhiker 5.26 “Pawns” (dir by Leon Marr)


Poor Eddie!

Eddie (David McIlwraith) used to be a rock star but now he’s a washed up alcoholic without a cent to his name.  Needing to pay his bills, Eddie decides to make the ultimate sacrifice.  He decides to go down to a pawnshop and sell his trademark guitar.  However, a quirky woman named Elisabeth (Jill Hennessy) has another idea.  Maybe …. he could just rob the pawn shop!

Did you know that, as a name, Lisa started out as a shortened version of Elisabeth?

This episode originally aired on December 16th, 1989.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out 1.3 “No Cause For Alarm”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Howard has a chance to get the heck out of Canada!

Episode 1.3 “No Cause For Alarm”

(Dir by Gary Plaxton, originally aired on October 16th, 1985)

The workers at Cobb’s Grocery are reluctantly preparing for another theme week at the store.  It’s a Switzerland theme week, which I assume will be very popular in Canada.  All of the cashiers are dressed like Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music.  Assistant manager Jack Christian is wearing lederhosen.  Christian is really excited because he’s managed to borrow an expensive cuckoo clock with which to decorate the store.

Store manager Howard Bannister has a bit more on his mind, though.  He has an interview coming up with an international hotel chain and, if he aces the interview, he’ll get to manage a hotel in Venice.  As Howard puts it, this has been his dream for about 15 years.  Unfortunately, it’s going to be difficult for Howard to ace that interview because the store’s alarm system keeps malfunctioning and the police finally tell Howard to just turn off the alarm so that they’re not bothered anymore.  However, that expensive and borrowed cuckoo clock is still hanging on the wall so Howard ends up having to sleep at the store.  Needless to say, the exhausted Howard falls asleep in the middle of his interview and doesn’t get the job.  As Christian resigns himself to still being the store’s assistant manager, Howard accepts that he’s not going anywhere for a while.

This is an odd episode of Check It Out.  For one thing, there’s a totally different stockboy (played by Jason Warren) from the kid who appeared in the previous two episodes.  He’s a bit older than the usual stockboy, he wears rather thick glasses, and everyone acts as if he’s always been at the store.  Meanwhile, the store’s electrician (played by Gordon Clapp) is referred to as being “Mr. Matthews” even though his name was Viker in his previous (and future) appearances.

Perhaps the oddest thing about the episode is that everyone is given very backstory-dependent dialogue.  For instance, Edna has a long conversation with cashier Jennifer (Tonya Williams) in which she explains the history of her relationship with Howard.  Whenever Christian enters a room, everyone is quick to mention that he’s the assistant manager, as if this is information that has never been mentioned before.  The relationships between the characters also feel a bit off.  For instance, there hasn’t been any hints of deep friendship between Edna and Jennifer in the previous two episodes.

My guess is that this episode was originally the pilot for Check It Out.  Apparently, it worked well enough to sell the show but the show’s producers decided not to use it as the first episode.  Instead, it aired as the third episode, despite the fact that the episode was essentially a rough draft of what the show would become.

As for the episode …. eh, it’s okay.  Gordon Clapp was funny as the confident but incompetent electrician.  Jeff Pustil had a few funny moments as Christian.  Don Adams overacted a bit as Howard, as if the show still wasn’t sure how obnoxious or sympathetic the character should be.  My main issue with the episode was the idea of Howard going from managing a grocery store in Canada to managing an international hotel in Venice.  I mean, can Howard even speak Italian?

Next week, everyone at the store is required to get a physical!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 10/15/23 — 10/21/23


TV!?  Who has time for TV in October!  I’m going to have so much to catch up on in November, I swear.  Here’s some thoughts on what I did watch over the previous week!

ALCS Game One (Sunday Night, FOX)

I watched this baseball game, between the Rangers and the Astros, on Sunday night with my sister, Erin.  The Rangers won, which made Erin happy and that made me happy.

ALCS Game Two (Monday Afternoon, Fox)

I watched a bit of this with Erin on Monday.  She was happy that the Rangers won so I was happy too.

Big Brother 25 (24/7, CBS and Paramount Plus)

I wrote about Big Brother here!

Check It Out (Tubi)

I watched the 3rd episode of Check It Out earlier today and my review will be dropping in about 90 minutes.

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I wrote about Degrassi here!

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

Find someone who loves you as much as Dr. Phil loved saying “Sugar Daddy web sites” in 2017.  The episode that I watched on Sunday was from 2017 and Phil said either “Sugar Daddy” or “Sugar Baby” over a hundred times in 40 minutes.  It all came across as being a bit silly.

On Monday, I watched an episode in which a woman and her 81 year-old fiancé accused her ex-husband of being abusive.  Phil didn’t believe a word that the woman had to say and the woman proceeded to have a meltdown on stage.

On Saturday, I watched the first part of an interview with a young woman who thought she was pregnant with Jesus (as in literally Jesus).  Special guest star Dr. Stork from The Doctors visited to tell her that she wasn’t pregnant.  She accused him of lying.  The audience gasped.

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

I wrote about Friday the 13th here!

Gun (Tubi)

I wrote about Gun here!

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!

Jennifer Slept Here (YouTube)

I wrote about Jennifer Slept Here …. here!

Jenny Jones (YouTube)

On Tuesday morning, I watched an episode about young teenage girls who dated older teenage boys.  The youngest of the girls was like 13 and she was dating a 17 year-old.  Jenny got extremely flustered while interviewing the idiots on her stage.

Monsters (Tubi)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Night Flight (Night Flight Plus)

On Saturday morning, I watched a 1988 interview with director Brian De Palma where he came across as being about as confident as could be.  That’s probably because the interview was filmed after The Untouchables and before The Bonfire of the Vanities.

Nightmare Café (YouTube)

I wrote about Nightmare Café here!

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

The Vanishing Shadow (Night Flight Plus)

Our serial continued with chapter two, which I watched on Friday night.  Having escaped using the Invisibility Ray at the end of the previous chapter, our hero spent this chapter being chased by villains who were carrying a Death Ray.  It was a fun 30 minutes.

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

Gabe’s father came to visit and I wrote about it here!

Yes, Prime Minister (Monday Morning, PBS)

This week’s episode as Yes, Prime Minister was very, very British as it resolved around Prime Minister Hacker selecting a new bishop.  The entire episode was full of jokes about how the Church of England was less of a church and more of a social club.  As someone of an Irish/Italian Catholic background, I had a good laugh.

Horror On TV: The Hitchhiker 5.24 “My Enemy” (dir by René Bonnière)


On tonight’s episode of The Hitchhiker, Joan Severance stars as both a film star and a woman who is stuck in a go-nowhere marriage.  Neither one is happy with her life and looking for an escape.  Murder turns out to be a convenient solution.  This episode has a bit of a strange ending, one that really doesn’t make a lot of sense if you think about it too much.  But, fortunately, The Hitchhiker is there to impart a lesson.

(It’s a bit unfortunate that they apparently never did an episode that explored the Hitchhiker’s origins.  I mean, the guy just pops up everywhere.)

This episode originally aired on November 25th, 1989.

Retro Television Reviews: Welcome Back, Kotter 2.16 “Kotter and Son”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Gabe’s father comes to visit!

Episode 2.16 “Kotter and Son”

(Dir by Bob LaHendro, originally aired on January 20th, 1977)

January 20th, 1977.  While many Americans was celebrating the inauguration of Jimmy Carter and others were laying the groundwork for the election of 1980, teenagers all across America were tuning into ABC so that they could see what Barbarino was going to do this week.

The first image they saw on that Inauguration Day was Gabe and Julie sitting in the apartment and reading the newspaper.

“Know who this guys looks like?” Gabe asks, pointing to a picture in the paper.

“One of your relatives?” Julie replies, as if she’s already dreading what’s to come.

“My cousin, Sidney Kotter!” Gabe announces.

Cousin Sid was so stupid that he once locked his keys in the car.  He called the auto club (the auto club again!) and they said they would be there in an hour.  Sid replied, “Well, you can’t come here in an hour because it’s raining outside and my car’s a convertible and I left the top down.”

At school, Gabe teaches about World War II but he’s obviously distracted, not even acknowledging a joke told by Epstein.  After the bell rings and the rest of the class leaves, Gabe tells the main four Sweathogs that he’s having problems at home.  Everyone assumes that Julie has left him again but Gabe eventually confesses that he’s nervous because his father is coming for a visit from Florida.  Barbarino says that Gabe has nothing to be nervous about.

“Vinny,” Gabe says, “Imagine your father is coming 14,000 miles to see his son!  Imagine that!”

Barbarino tries to imagine.  “Is he coming on a bus or a train?”

Gabe then compares his father the iceberg that hit the Titanic, which leads to the Sweathogs singing a song about an iceberg wearing a sports shirt.

The next morning, at the apartment, Julie struggles to convince Gabe to get out of bed and get ready for his father’s visit.  While Gabe and Julie try to figure out why his father would come all the way to New York from Florida, the man himself, Charlie Kotter (Harold Gould), knocks on the front door.  Charlie enters the apartment and tells Julie that she’s beautiful and then orders Gabe to “wash your teeth.”  Charlie declares that the cab that picked him up at the airport was Gabe’s apartment and says that he’s glad that he’ll be staying with Gabe’s brother, Melvin.  “Remember your brother, Melvin?” Charlie asks before then asking if Gabe has found a real job yet.

You may have guessed that Charlie and Gabe have a strained relationship and they do.  Charlie thinks that Gabe is wasting his life, teaching remedial classes at his old high school in New York.  Gabe thinks that he’s doing a good thing by teaching the Sweathogs.  Charlie says that he wants Gabe to come back to Florida with him and join him in selling coconut-themed souvenirs.  “Kotter and Son!” Charlie announces.  Charlie then says that he’s going to school with Gabe so that he can finally see what Gabe does for a living.  Gabe is not happy about this but finds himself powerless to stop his elderly father from following him out of the apartment.

Cut to the school, where Charlie has made friends with Mr. Woodman.  As Mr. Woodman looks at the coconut paperweight that Charlie has given him, Charlie says, “I just want to see what my son does for a living.”  Woodman asks Charlie to let him know if he ever figures it out.

In class, Gabe tries to teach but is nervous with Charlie constantly interrupting him.  Finally, Charlie agrees to remain quiet so that he can observe and Gabe teaches about the Great Depression while pretending to be Walter Winchell doing a radio report.  Gabe pretends to be a stockbroker who has lost everything.  He pretends to be a bitter worker.  He pretends to be Herbert Hoover.  Charlie is skeptical of Gabe’s techniques but then Gabe proves that the Sweathogs now know and understand far more about the Great Depression than they did at the start of the class.  Even Barbarino had debatably picked up some knowledge!

(“What did the Stock Market crash do to the price of products?” Gabe asks Barbarino.  “What products?” Barbarino replies.)

Charlie asks Gabe to step out in the hallway and tells Gabe that he knows Gabe isn’t going to move down to Florida.

Gabe says, “Pop, I’m 30 years old.  Just tell me your proud of me!”

“You should hear how much I talk about in Florida,” Charlies replies, “People down there are sick of hearing about you!  Now, go teach your Sweathogs.”

Realizing that he’s not going to get anything better than that, Gabe returns to his classroom.  As Gabe closes the door, Charlie says, “I’m proud of you, my son.”

Gabe opens the door and says, “I heard you.”

Awwwwwwww!

Back at the apartment, Charlie asks Julie if she ever heard about what happened to his brother, Saul Kotter.  Julie is a bit more tolerant of Charlie telling jokes than she is when Gabe does it.  Anyway, Saul was hit by a truck while crossing the street.  A policeman put his jacket under Saul’s head and asked him if he was comfortable.  Saul replied, “I make a good living.”  As Charlie finishes his joke, Gabe steps in the apartment and asks, “Julie, have I ever told you about my Uncle Saul?”

This episode definitely worked, mostly because Harold Gould and Gabe Kaplan were totally believable as father and son.  There were not a lot of Sweathog shenanigans this episode but the scenes between Gabe and his father were well-acted and ultimately rather sweet.

Next week: Gabe takes a second job to pay for dental work!  Julie thinks that he’s having an affair with someone who actually likes his jokes.