A Few Thoughts On The X-Files 10.5 “Babylon”

Posted on February 20, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“How do you say ‘howdy pardner’ in Arabic?”

Hey, X-Files, how do you say “Fuck you” in English?

I was flying between Dallas and San Antonio last Monday when the 5th episode of The X-Files revival aired. I did DVR it but, as soon as I found out that this episode was set in Texas, I found myself reluctant to actually watch it.

Why?

Well, why not?

TV shows and movies never get my home state right. After all, Texas is the state that the rest of the world loves to hate. We are a convenient scapegoat for the rest of America. Every sin of this country is blamed on my state and it gets a little tedious after a while. And yes, I know that some people (mostly folks up in Vermont) would claim that it’s our own fault for being so confident and outspoken but you know what? We only do that because we know it bothers you.

But anyway, the Babylon episode of The X-Files was set in Texas and, having just watched it, I have to say that it really is no surprise that it gets the entire state wrong. After all, The X-Files movie portrayed Dallas as sitting out in the middle of the desert, surrounded by mountains and caves. (There are no mountains or caves in North Texas.) Babylon, meanwhile, portrayed every single person in Texas as wearing a cowboy hat and denim and talking like a bunch of actors who just finished the first day of James Lipton’s “How To Talk Southwestern” class at the Actor’s Studio. I lost track of how many denim skirts I saw in the background of a scene that was meant to be set at DFW. It was embarrassing. Seriously, X-Files, do a little fucking research in the future, okay? I mean, I know it’s hot but it wouldn’t kill you to spend two hours down here and see what we actually dress and sound like.

And if I seem like I’m making a huge deal about this, you should understand that Babylon made a huge deal about being set in Texas. If I had taken a drink every single time somebody made a point of saying that they were in Texas or that they were going to Texas, I would have gotten drunk off my ass within a matter of minutes. Of course, I would already have been drunk from taking a drink every time that someone wandered by wearing a cowboy hat or a denim skirt.

As for the rest of the episode — well, it was technically okay. It actually had an interesting idea at the center of it, with Mulder attempting to communicate with a brain-dead terrorist. Robbie Amell and Lauren Ambrose showed up as Agents Miller and Einstein, who were basically younger versions of Mulder and Scully. (Lauren Ambrose, in particular, was well-cast.) If, for some reason, David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson refused to ever appear in another episode of The X-Files, I wouldn’t have any problem with the series following the adventures of Miller and Einstein.

But, I have to be honest here. I could not look past how thoroughly this episode failed in portraying my home state. And really, there was no reason to set this episode in Texas. Draw Mohammed exhibitions take place all over the country and Babylon could have just as easily been set in New York or California. (Except, of course, that would have meant acknowledging that there is prejudice in all the states of the union, even the ones that serve as home base for the entertainment industry.)

Anyway, this upcoming Monday will give us the finale of The X-Files revival. My Struggle II will feature the return of Joel McHale and, if I had to guess, I would say that it will somehow involve Mulder and Scully’s long-missing son, William (a.k.a. Sculder). If you want a season 11 of The X-Files, be sure to watch.

I just hope they won’t return to Texas.

Here Are The Trailers For The New Seasons of Fear The Walking Dead, Daredevil, The Americans, and Game of Thrones!

Posted on February 17, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

For your future viewing pleasure…

A Few Thoughts On The X-Files 10.4 (“Home Again”)

Posted on February 8, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Tonight’s episode of The X-Files had the unenviable task of following last week’s episode, Mulder & Scully Meet The Weremonster. As our own Leon the Duke pointed out over on twitter, that episode was not only the best of season 10 but one of the best of the series overall. It was also that episode that convinced me, who up until that point had been a skeptic about The X-Files revival, to stick with this show.

Interestingly enough (and this is something that did not occur to me until about five minutes agp), Mulder & Scully Meet The Weremonster was also the halfway point of this 6-episode revival. I assume that both tonight’s episode and the next week’s episode are meant to set the foundation for the season finale, My Struggle II. A good deal of tonight’s episode consisted of Mulder and Scully just talking. With Scully’s mother dying in the hospital, they talked about the “big” issues of life, death, and family. They also talked about their son, William. This is the son that they gave up for adoption and which they both ususally spend a good deal of time trying not to talk or think about.

So, I’m going to make this prediction right now. It’s not a huge prediction and I’m hardly the first one to make it. You’ve probably already made it yourself. The 6th episode of season 10 — My Struggle II — will be about William. At first, I thought that William would probably be reunited with his parents during this episode but, narratively, that’s short-sighted and way too easy. Instead, I imagine that season 10 will end with either Scully or Mulder announcing that he or she is going to find their son and rescue him from whatever conspiracy has gotten its hands on him.

And that search will lead to Season 11 and perhaps every season after that. It’s a search that will go on until Fox decides to cancel the show for a second time. And I’ll be watching as Mulder and/or Scully search for William because, despite my initial skepticism, The X-Files has captured me. Though I still sometimes strain to understand what they’re saying and I’m starting to get seriously concerned about my hearing, I’ve grown to love the chemistry between David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson. That chemistry was on full display in tonight’s episode. If last week’s episode featured Duchovny at his deadpan best, this episode was all about Anderson. It was heart breaking to watch her as she struggled to deal with her mother’s death and the legacy of her fractured family.

As for this week’s monster — well, the Trashman was no Weremonster but he was still scary enough to make me go, “Agck!” whenever he showed up and he helped to turn Downtown into an unlikely but powerful anthem of doom. As well, whenever he popped out of the back of that trash truck, I was reminded of the final scene of Once Upon A Time In America and that’s always a good thing.

(Seriously, Once Upon A Time In America is such a good movie!)

Overall, it was a good episode and I look forward to seeing what happens next week. Also, I’m going to keep referring to William as “Sculder” until that becomes his official nickname. It may not happen tomorrow but give me two years and Sculder will a trending topic.

It’s going to happen!

Lisa’s 6 Favorite Commercials of Super Bowl 2016!

Posted on February 7, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

So, as our longtime readers know, the only reason I ever watch the Super Bowl is for the commercials. Every year, I post my 6 favorite Super Bowl commercials. Now, I have to be honest, it’s hard to pick 6 from this year’s crop. This was a seriously bland year! There were no sexy commercials. There were no secretly subversive commercials. There were no commercials so offensive that I simply had to post them just to be annoying.

Instead, we got stuff like the Super Bowl Babies. And I know that a lot of people loved the Super Bowl Babies but … bleh. Seriously, it was a really creepy and kind of annoying commercial and I refuse to believe that anyone actually enjoyed it. I think people saw the babies and thought, “Oh, I have to enjoy this or else it means I don’t love babies.” The babies were cute but the commercial was super creepy.

And then there was this stupid Puppy Monkey Baby thing. What the Hell was that supposed to be!?

I have to say — if I was going to have a pet that was half baby, that’s not the half that I would want.

Anyway, I did finally manage to come up with 6 that I did like. And here they are! Please understand that being include on this list does not mean that this site or any author of this site is saying that you should use any of the services or products being advertised. In fact, seeing as how we’re not getting any money for highlighting this excellent commercials, I would suggest that you not use anything featured in these commercials.

Here are the commercials:

6) Coca-Cola: Little Marvels

Those little minicans drive me crazy and I refuse to allow them in either the house or here at the TSL offices. Just a few days ago, Leonard try to stock some in the break room fridge and I spent the next few hours pouring them all out on the floor just to make a point! But, taking all that into consideration, I still like this ad because … well, Ant-Man’s cute.

5) Kia: Walken Closet

I liked this one because it featured Christopher Walken and … well, that’s pretty much the only reason. But it’s a good reason! If nothing else, it kept me from thinking about how much I hate car commercials. I hope Walken does a truck commercial next because I want him to explain what torque means.

4) T-Mobile — Drop The Balls

I liked this one because 1) Steve Harvey has a good sense of humor about traumatizing Miss Colombia and 2) it makes fun of Verizon. Seriously, Verizon commercials are so smug! Anyway, you tell them, Steve and keep praying for all us heathens.

3) Avocados From Mexico: Avos In Space

I really enjoyed this ad. I’ll probably hate it after I see it another 100 times but for now, good job!

2) Prius: Getaway Car

I’m still trying to get the Dazzling Erin to buy a Prius so I can make fun of her for getting one. But, after seeing this commercial, I now understand that a Prius is also a great car to own if you’re planning on fleeing from the police. Seeing as how I always root for the guy being chased whenever there’s a high-speed police chase, I appreciated this feature of the car. Add to that, I love the way that the Prius 4 become celebrities because that’s exactly what would happen in real life.

1) T-Mobile: Restricted Bling

It’s Jimmy! And he can walk again!

And that’s it for this year! Next year, advertisers, let’s bring back the sexy and the pretentious, okay? It’ll make it a lot easier to make out a list.

A Few Thoughts on The X-Files 10.3 “Mulder & Scully Meet The Were-Monster”

Posted on February 2, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

After watching last night’s episode of The X-Files, I finally feel like I’m starting to get it. You have to realize that I came into this revival with only a casual knowledge of what the whole show was about. Since I didn’t watch the show when it originally aired and have only seen a few reruns (and the movies, neither of which did much for me), I’ve often felt rather detached from all the excitement that’s been generated by the revival.

And the previous two episode did not help. My Struggle was a mess. The second episode was a definite improvement but still, it did not exactly blow me away. I watched these episodes and I assumed that The X-Files was one of those revivals that would largely succeed only on the strength of nostalgia for the show it once was.

But then I watched last night’s episode, the wonderfully titled Mulder & Scully Meet The Were-Monster. After two episodes that occasionally felt as if they were straining a bit too hard to be taken seriously, Mulder & Scully Meet The Were-Monster was a comedic deconstruction of the whole “cult-show-about-paranormal-investigators” genre. While never quite slipping into the realm of self-parody, the episode had a lot of fun with the conventions of the show.

It also had a lot of fun with David Duchovny’s performance as Fox Mulder. Duchovny is one of those confident actors who is always more likable when he’s befuddled. A good deal of the pleasure of last night’s episode came from watching Mulder literally stumble through the plot.

As for the plot itself, it was wonderfully nonsensical. Someone is murdering random people. Is it a frightening lizard-like creature that some of the locals have spotted? Well, there is a lizard-like creature but he’s not the murderer. The murderer is Pasha, a sociopathic animal control officer, played by the always welcome Kumail Nanjiani. You pretty much know that Pasha is the murderer from the minute you see him, if just because there’s no other reason for him to be played by a familiar actor. When Pasha is unmasked as the killer and arrested, he starts to give the usual lengthy explanation for his crimes, just to be ignored by Mulder. Mulder mentions that he’s sick of serial killer profiling. Take that, Criminal Minds!

The Were-Monster of the title was played by Rhys Darby, who we all remember and love as Murray on The Flight of the Conchords. It turns out that the Were-Monster was a lizard creature who was bit by a man and who now cursed to turn into a man whenever the sun rises. Whenever the Were-Monster transforms into Guy Mann (that’s the name it uses!), he has to worry about stuff like holding down a job and impressing other people by lying about his sex life. Poor Guy! But, at least he wasn’t a murderer and at least he wasn’t successful in his attempt to convince Mulder to kill him.

(You can’t kill Murray! He was the last Bret!)

Hopefully, the quality and sheer fun of Mulder & Scully And The Were-Monster is a sign of things to come as far as the remaining episodes of The X-Files are concerned.

Here’s What Won At The SAG Awards

Posted on January 30, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Howdy, y’all! The SAG Awards were given out tonight but I did not see it because I was busy down at City Limits Texas, watching Joey Green and Luke Wade and gettin’ my country on! (Boots and denim, y’all!) So, I missed the show but I can still post the winners! Spotlight won the SAG equivalent of Best Picture so it looks like right now, the best picture race is pretty much between that film and the PGA winner, The Big Short. But what if George Miller or Alejandro Inarritu ends up winnin’ at the DGA? This Oscar race is gettin’ as unpredictable as a cow chewin’ magic mushrooms. Yee haw!

ANYWAY, here’s the winners!

BEST PERFORMANCE BY A CAST ENSEMBLE – “Spotlight“
BEST PERFORMANCE BY A MALE ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE – Leonardo DiCaprio in “The Revenant”
BEST PERFORMANCE BY A FEMALE ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE – Brie Larson in “Room”
BEST PERFORMANCE BY A MALE ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE – Idris Elba in “Beasts of No Nation”
BEST PERFORMANCE BY A FEMALE ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE – Alicia Vikander in “The Danish Girl”
BEST PERFORMANCE BY A CAST ENSEMBLE IN A DRAMA SERIES – “Downton Abbey“
BEST PERFORMANCE BY A MALE ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES – Kevin Spacey in “House of Cards”
BEST PERFORMANCE BY A FEMALE ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES – Viola Davis in “How to Get Away with Murder”
BEST PERFORMANCE BY A CAST ENSEMBLE IN A COMEDY SERIES – “Orange is the New Black“
BEST PERFORMANCE BY A MALE ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES – Jeffrey Tambor in “Transparent”
BEST PERFORMANCE BY A FEMALE ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES – Uzo Aduba in “Orange is the New Black”
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TV MOVIE OR MINI-SERIES – Idris Elba in “Luther”
BEST PERFORMANCE BY A FEMALE ACTOR IN A TV MOVIE OR MINI-SERIES – Queen Latifah in “Bessie”
BEST PERFORMANCE BY A STUNT ENSEMBLE IN A MOTION PICTURE – “Mad Max: Fury Road“
BEST PERFORMANCE BY A STUNT ENSEMBLE IN A COMEDY OR DRAMA SERIES – “Game of Thrones“
LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD – Carol Burnett

(By the way, y’all, I love you all…)

A Few Thoughts On … The X-Files 10.2 “Founder’s Mutation”

Posted on January 25, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I promised that I wait for the second episode of The X-Files revival before passing too much judgment on the series as a whole. One reason why that was an easy promise to make was that the 2nd episode was scheduled to air less than 24 hours after the first one. And since I’m coming down with a cold, I was home and able to watch that 2nd episode.

The 2nd episode was a definite improvement over the first. For one thing, it told an actual story that felt like more than just a collection of hastily compiled scenes. There were still some weaknesses, though I’ve been told that some people consider these weaknesses to be strengths. For instance, I will never be a fan of the muttering. I understand that this is a show about secrets and conspiracies and that people dealing with secrets often speak in low voices but seriously, I could not hear about half of the dialogue. Beyond that, the episode still suffered from some of the bad editing that marred My Struggle. With the exception of Mulder’s fantasy about his son, the final few minutes of the show especially felt a bit hasty and abrupt.

There were other moments when I was painfully aware that this was a revival of a show that went off the air 14 years ago. The opening credits featured pictures of David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson from the original series and it was a bit jarring to realize just how much these two have aged over the past decade. As I watched Mulder and Scully investigating a mysterious death and a mad scientist, it was hard not to notice that both of them seemed to be moving a bit slower than they did in the past.

And then there was the scene in which a potential witness mistook Mulder for being gay. That scene felt very 1999.

But otherwise, the 2nd episode worked pretty well. It was nothing great but it had a few creepy moments and the scene in the pool totally freaked me out. (Not to mention the sheer length of the blade the Scully pulled out of that guy’s ear.) If nothing else, it seems to indicate that, should The X-Files revival go on past these 6 episodes, it will be a solid enough show. It may never be great but it will be entertaining enough.

As for my favorite part of tonight’s episode, it was when Scully and then Mulder imagined what would have happened if they hadn’t given their son William up for adoption. (On twitter, I suggested that the baby should be called Sculder but apparently, everyone’s sticking with William.) It was interesting to note that both Scully and Mulder fantasized about having an ideal relationship with their son but, in both cases, that fantasy ended with a moment of sudden terror. If nothing else, it showed the psychological effects of not being able to trust anyone or anything.

William will probably show up before this season ends. I imagine it will be in the final episode and things will probably wrap up with one of those open-ended finales that will make fans of the show scream, “Bring back The X-Files! We promise we’ll buy anything advertised during the show!”

Anyway, based on the 2nd episode, I would say The X-Files has earned its revival.

A Few Thoughts on … Lucifer 1.1 (“The Pilot”)

Posted on January 25, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

So, earlier tonight, I watched the first episode Lucifer. Lucifer is the new cop show on Fox. It’s about an eccentric crime solver who uses unorthodox methods to solve crimes and his partner, with whom he shares sexual tension and the occasional sardonic aside. It sounds a lot like Elementary, Castle, the X-Files revival, and a whole lot of other TV shows of the past, present, and future as well.

The main difference between Lucifer and those other shows is that the title character is the Devil. That’s right. The Devil has gone from starring in Milton’s Paradise Lost to working with the LAPD to solve crimes.

(In high school, one of my best friends read Paradise Lost and ended up getting a huge crush on Satan. I wonder if she watched Lucifer tonight.)

From what I understand, Lucifer is loosely based on a comic book series in which Lucifer gets bored with ruling Hell and comes to Los Angeles, where he runs a piano bar and spends a lot of time considering whether or not there really is such a thing as free will. And that actually sounds pretty interesting. That sounds like it would make for an edgy, thought-provoking series.

What is not particularly interesting is the idea that Lucifer would come to Los Angeles, open a piano bar, and then decide to spend his time helping the LAPD solve crimes. It really sounds like the punchline to an overtold joke, doesn’t it? “She’s a non-nonsense detective. He’s the Prince of Darkness. Together, they fight crime.”

There were a few things that I did like about the pilot. I liked the fact that it opened and closed with No Rest For The Wicked, even though that song’s going to be stuck in my head for the next few days. I thought Lauren German did a pretty good job as Detective Chloe Dancer. There were a few scenes — mostly the ones that featured Lucifer hanging out at his piano bar — that were shot and acted in a entertainingly over-the-top style. I like the idea that Lucifer can terrify people whenever he feels like it. I think Tom Ellis could be really good in the title role but not if the series insists on straight-jacketing him into a typical “eccentric detective” role.

My advice to this show? Get Chloe Dancer out of the LAPD as quickly as possible. The character has potential and I can easily imagine Lauren German and Tom Ellis developing a really amazing chemistry but having to deal with a case-a-week format is going to rob this show of everything that could potentially make it special. So, get Chloe off of the LAPD. Have her work as a head of security for Lucifer’s bar or something. Keep them together but forget about solving crimes. Instead, allow Lucifer to truly explore the philosophical and theological concepts that were merely hinted at in the pilot. It might not win the show a huge audience but it will win it a loyal and intelligent audience. At the very least, it should be enough to score 6 seasons and a movie.

Lucifer has potential but not as a cop show.

A Few Thoughts On … The X-Files 1.1 (“My Struggle”)

Posted on January 24, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Tonight, after a football game that apparently everyone but me was super excited about, the first episode of The X-Files revival premiered on Fox. The episode was called My Struggle, I watched it, and now I’m going to offer up just a few thoughts on it.

Why just a few?

Well, first off, it’s just the first of six episodes. As I watched tonight, I had to keep reminding myself that My Struggle was just the first episode and you really can’t say much about a show based on just the first episode. My Struggle felt rushed but then again, it had a lot to do. It had to reintroduce Mulder and Scully, it had to lay the foundation for the rest of the series, it had to introduce a few new characters, and it had to leave the audience intrigued enough to actually watch the 2nd episode. It was a balancing act that My Struggle often struggled to maintain but I’ve also been told, by people who have claimed to have seen it, that tomorrow’s episode is going to be a lot better.

So, I am going to try to put off passing judgment on The X-Files until I at least see that second episode. When you’re a critic, putting off judgment goes against your every natural instinct but that’s what I am going to try to do.

I should also admit that, unlike apparently everyone else in the world, I am hardly an expert on The X-Files. I’ve seen reruns but I didn’t watch the show regularly when it originally aired. When I think of The X-Files, my first thought will always be laughing at the opening of the first movie, which featured a kid falling into an underground cave in North Texas. (As a resident of North Texas, I can assure you that we don’t have caves and the last thing you’re going to see in Dallas is a mountain on the horizon.)

My Struggle started out well. I enjoyed the pre-credits scene, where David Duchovny explained everything that had happened in the past. Along with telling us about the previous series, he also talked about the history of UFO sightings and Duchovny’s hypnotic delivery was perfect.

I was a bit less impressed with what immediately followed the credits. The early scenes, of Mulder and Scully meeting talk show host Tad O’Malley (Joel McHale), felt extremely forced. I found myself wondering how long I was going to have to listen to Mulder and O’Malley debate gun control. The attempt at political satire was predictable and tedious. But I stuck with it because … well, it’s Joel McHale. Who doesn’t love Joel McHale?

For the first half of the episode, I was bored out of my mind. It was too talky and all the mumbling was getting on my nerves. Gillian Anderson — who was so brilliant in The Fall — seemed totally bored and I was not feeling any of that famous chemistry between her and Duchovny.

But then, things started to get better. O’Malley showed Mulder a flying saucer that had been made from alien technology and not only did Mulder get excited but the previously stone-faced David Duchovny finally started to show some emotion. He got excited and his excitement was fun to watch.

And then we got a lengthy monologue from Tad O’Malley, one that basically explained how the military-industrial complex uses alien technology to secretly (and not-so-secretly) rule America and being the lover of history and conspiracy theories that I am, I was absolutely enthralled. (Though, if the show really had guts, it would have featured a clip of Barack Obama during the conspiracy montage, to go along with the clip of George W. Bush.) That monologue really saved the episode for me.

In fact, as I watched, I realized that I may by a skeptic about many things but I am definitely pro-paranoia. Paranoia makes for a better and more thrilling story and, hopefully, that’s what this new version of The X-Files will continue to focus on.

So, overall, this was a very uneven hour of television. But I’m still definitely going to set the DVR to record the next episode.