Tag Archives: The Master

Retro Television Reviews: The Master 1.9 “Kunoichi”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing The Master, which ran on NBC from January to August of 1984.  The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, McAllister and Max head to Washington, D.C.!

Episode 1.9 “Kunoichi”

(Dir by Gordon Hessler, originally aired on April 9th, 1984)

The 9th episode of The Master opens by showing us what Okasa (Sho Kosugi) has been doing since coming to America to track down and kill his former teacher, John Peter McAllister (Lee Van Cleef).  Okasa has been training an apprentice of his own.  The apprentice ninja is always seen while wearing a light gray ninja uniform, the better to keep the apprentice’s identity a secret until halfway through the episode.

Meanwhile, McAllister and Max (Tim Van Patten) are in Washington, D.C.  As McAllister explains it, he was good friends with Brian Elkwood (Jack Kelly) when they both served in the Army together.  During the Korean War, they were both held in the same POW camp and they escaped together.  (This, of course, goes against McAllister’s previous backstory, which was that he left the Army after World War II and spent the next 40 years hidden away in Japan.)  Elkwood is now an important advisor to the President.  Apparently, Elkwood sent McAllister a letter informing him that a spy known as The Hawk was threatening his life so McAllister has come to Washington to protect him.  (How exactly McAllister received a letter when he and Max are constantly driving around the country in search of McAllister’s daughter is not explained.)

At the Elkwood estate, Brian Elkwood tells his assistant, Allison Grant (Kelly Harmon), that he has been receiving letters from John Peter McAllister in which McAllister has threatened to kill him.  Allison argues that McAllister has always been Elkwood’s friend but Elkwood says that people can change.  Elkwood’s head of security, Ron Gordon (Rick Hill), is concerned not only about McAllister but also about uncovering the identity of The Hawk.

Or at least, that’s what Gordon claims.  A few scenes later, we discover that Gordon actually is The Hawk and that he’s hired Okasa to assassinate Elkwood.  Okasa is planning on framing McAllister for the assassination.  The assassination will be carried about his apprentice, who we learn is close to Elkwood.  The episode tries to build up a lot of suspense over who Okasa’s apprentice actually is but it’s actually pretty easy to figure out.  Elkwood is not the apprentice because he’s the target.  Gordon is the not apprentice because he’s the Hawk.  There’s only one other guest star on this episode so obviously, the apprentice is Allison.  Myself, I’m just confused as to when Okasa’s mission went from personally killing McAllister to framing him for murder.

Eventually, McAllister is able to convince Elkwood that he didn’t write the threatening letters but a sudden attack of Okasa’s apprentice leaves Elkwood hospitalized and McAllister arrested for attempted murder.  Fortunately, Max is able to use his ninja training to help McAllister escape from jail and they manage to not only prevent the second attempt on Elkwood’s life but they also expose both Gordon and Allison as being enemies of the state.  Yay!

This is one of those episodes where everyone, with the exception of Sho Kosugi, steps to the side and lets their stunt doubles do most of the work.  There’s a lot of fights but they are all awkwardly choreographed and framed, probably in an attempt to keep the audience from noticing that Lee Van Cleef’s stunt person was notably thinner and more athletic than Lee was.  As far as episodes of The Master are concerned, this was not a bad one but it still ultimately leaves the viewer feeling that it could have been so much better.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 6/25/23 — 7/1/23

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

As a part of my effort to get caught up with all of the potential Emmy nominees, I watched a lot of television this week.  This was a week of binging!  Here’s a few thoughts on what I watched:

1923 (Paramount Plus)

A western set in the 1920s, starring Harrison Ford and Helen Mirren?  Seriously, what took so long?  Between watching Hot Fuzz last week and binging 1923 this week, I’ve also come to newly appreciate Timothy Dalton.

Are You Being Served? (Sunday Night, PBS)

The womenswear staff had to temporarily share space with the menswear staff!  No one got along but the audience loved it.  This show is single-handedly challenging all of my assumptions about the natural superiority of British humor.

The Bear (Hulu)

I was dreading watching The Bear because everything I read about it made it sound like the type of depressing show that I usually can’t stand but, having now binged the first season, I can now say that it was far better than I was expecting.  A lot of that was due to the steady and empathetic lead performance of Jeremy Allen White.  I’m looking forward to binging the second season.

Beavis and Butt-Head (Thursday, Paramount Plus)

Smart Beavis and Smart Butt-Head attempted to abduct Tom Anderson so that they could experiment on him.  Unfortunately, their anal prober broke down but luckily, Tom was able to repair it.  However, once he found out what it was for, he announced that he didn’t want to join the Elks that badly and he walked out of the flying saucer.  Meanwhile, teen Beavis and Butt-Head tried to convince Cody to let them play his video game.  Cody’s parents loved Beavis and Butt-Head.  Apparently, this week’s episode was the second season finale.  It was an okay wrap-up.  As always, I enjoyed the Tom Anderson stuff.  Cody and his parents were kind of boring but at least we got to watch Beavis and Butt-Head beat each other up while watching a relaxation video.

Dirty Pair Flash (YouTube)

On Friday night, I watched the fifth episode of Dirty Pair Flash.  Lilly and Yuri were supposed to go on a stakeout but Lilly had a date.  Yuri was not happy.  Personally, I was on Lilly’s side.  Just because you have a job, that doesn’t mean that you don’t get to have a life!

Fantasy Island (Tubi)

You can read my thoughts on Fantasy Island here!

Forgive or Forget (YouTube)

I watched an episode on Thursday.  Robin Givens was giving people paternity tests.  Robin yelled at all of her guests for being a bunch of cheaters.  I watched another episode on Friday, in which Robin was ordering even more cheating men to “get into the doghouse.”  Robin was very loud and very shrill and so was her audience.  Say what you will about Mother Love’s style of hosting, at least the sound of her voice didn’t induce migraines.

A Friend of the Family (Peacock)

I finally watched this miniseries about how Jan Broberg was abducted not once but twice by the same friend of the family and oh my God, was it ever creepy!  It’s easy to watch the Brobergs in this show and dismiss them as just being unbelievably naïve but, as the Jan mentioned in her introduction to the show, it was a different time.  This miniseries featured excellent performances from Jake Lacey, Colin Hanks, Anna Paquin, and McKenna Grace.

Jenny Jones (YouTube)

“Stop dissing my dreams!” children said to their parents, who refused to support their show business dreams.  A flustered Jenny Jones encouraged the parents to be more accepting of their kids.  The show that I watched on Thursday was over 20 years old and none of the kids became stars.  What a bunch of losers!  Shame on them for wasting everyone’s time.

King of the Hill (Weekday Afternoons, FXX)

I watched two episodes on Friday, both of which were personal favorites of mine.  First, Hank was happy that Bobby was getting into church until Hank discovered that Pastor K was a long-haired skater.  This episode featured the classic line, “Don’t you realize you’re not making Christianity better, you’re just making rock and roll worse!”  This was followed by the episode where Hank was excited that his new neighbor was a former Cowboy until he discovered that “Big Willy” Lane wasn’t the hero that he thought he was.  These were two excellent episodes, funny and heartfelt.

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (Prime)

The final season of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel was brilliant, with the time jumps reminding us that the story isn’t ending even if the show is.  My main fear was that the show would do some sort of alternate history thing to save fan favorite Lenny Bruce but, though the temptation was undoubtedly there, the show didn’t.  If Midge watching Jeopardy with Susie in 2005 didn’t bring a tear to your eye, I don’t know what to tell you.

The Master (Tubi)

I wrote about The Master here!

Only Murders In The Building (Hulu)

I enjoyed the first season of Only Murders In The Building but, even during that season, I was aware that the show would probably end up becoming a bit too self-satisfied for its own good.  I could forsee a future of slumming stars stopping by to hang out with Steve Martin and Martin Short.

This week, I watched the second season with a bit of trepidation.  I did end up enjoying it, even if the second season didn’t quite have the thrill of discovery that made the first so likable and replacing Sting with Amy Schumer just confirmed my fear that the show is heading towards the trap of celebrity self-indulgence.  That said, Steven Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez continue to be delightful and hopefully, the show will survive season 3’s addition of Meryl Streep to the cast.  (Like many talented people, Meryl is at her worse whenever she’s slumming.)

Paul T. Goldman (Peacock)

I watched this non-fiction miniseries on Monday night.  It basically featured an apparently mentally disturbed man explaining his paranoid theories about why his marriage failed.  To be honest, it all felt a bit mean-spirited.  Paul T. Goldman didn’t seem to be in on the joke and he made some pretty serious accusations against people who weren’t there to defend themselves.  The whole thing held my interest but still felt pretty icky.

Perry Mason (HBO)

It’s a shame that HBO has cancelled Perry Mason.  I watched the second season this week and I found myself very much enjoying its stylish portrayal of 1930s Los Angeles.  The story itself didn’t do much for me but the show was such a visual treat and Matthew Rhys was so well-cast as Mason that it was still compulsively watchable.

Shrinking (AppleTV+)

This week, I finally caught up with Shrinking, which is a dramatic sitcom about therapists and their patients.  I laughed more than I was expecting to at the show’s dark humor but, to be honest, the main appeal of this show is watching Harrison Ford prove that he’s still one of our best actors.  Between this and 1923, it’s hard not to regret that Harrison Ford waited so long to start doing television.

Ted Lasso (AppleTV+)

It’s finally over!  I was never as huge a fan of Ted Lasso as some people were and the third and perhaps final season didn’t really hold my interest when I watched it this week.  (Admittedly, some of that could be because I felt a bit rushed with the Emmys coming up.)  Jason Sudeikis is a likable actor and, even if the show wasn’t my favorite, the final episode did warm my heart a bit.  I will say this: if this show was your  favorite, I understand why and I don’t think any less of you.

Wednesday (Netflix)

I enjoyed Wednesday more than I expected I would.  Netflix has a pretty uneven history when it comes to horror adaptations (remember when Case and I used to suffer through their Sabrina show?) but Wednesday was enjoyable and, of course, Jenna Ortega was perfectly cast in the lead role.

Welcome Back Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back, Kotter here!

Yellowstone (Paramount Network)

This is another show that I meant to watch earlier but I only got around to the latest season this week.  I loved the mix of political melodrama and gorgeous scenery.

Yes, Minister (Monday Morning, PBS)

Jim Hacker made the mistake of thinking for himself during a television interview and talking about the need to cut back on wasteful government expenditures.  Fortunately, Sir Humphrey was able to remind Hacker of his proper place.

Retro Television Reviews: The Master 1.8 “The Good, the Bad, and the Priceless”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing The Master, which ran on NBC from January to August of 1984.  The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, The Master goes to New York City!

Episode 1.8 “The Good, the Bad, and the Priceless”

(Dir by Michael Caffey, originally aired on March 23rd, 1984)

This week’s episode of The Master asks us to consider just how needlessly complicated an hour’s worth of entertainment can be.

John Peter McAllister (Lee Van Cleef) and Max Keller (Timothy Van Patten) are in New York City!  Apparently, McAllister was flipping through a magazine when he came across an advertisement featuring a picture of his long-lost daughter, Terri.  The agency responsible for the ad is headquartered in New York.  McAllister is excited about the prospect of finally tracking down his daughter.  Max is a little sad because he knows that McAllister won’t need him after he finds Terri.  And Cat Sinclair (Tara Buckman) is just along for the ride….

Who is Cat Sinclair?  She was introduced last episode as a love interest for Max.  This episode tests Cat as a third member of the regular cast.  Unfortunately, since Cat isn’t a ninja, she doesn’t really got to do much in the episode, other than stand in the background and roll her eyes whenever Max makes one of his terrible jokes.  At one point, McAllister mentions that Max has a bit of a crush on Cat but we don’t really see much evidence of it.  If anything, both McAllister and Max seem to go out of their way to ignore her.

Anyway, it turns out that the modeling agency is surprisingly willing to give out the home phone numbers of its models.  They also have no problem telling McAllister, Max, and Cat that Terri has been booked as a model at a private fashion show being put on by Simon Garrett (George Maharis).

However, what neither McAllister nor Simon Garrett realize is that the woman who shows up at the fashion show and introduces herself as Terri McAllister is not Terri at all but is instead an FBI agent named Gina (Janine Turner), who bears a passing resemblance to Terri as long as she’s wearing a brunette wig.  Simon Garrett is not only a fashion designer but he’s also an international criminal.  Gina shows up (as Terri) at the fashion show and tries to search Garrett’s office.  When Garrett’s security goons discover her, her life is saved by McAllister and Max, who both believe her to be Terri.

(How exactly McAllister, Max, and Cat managed to crash Garrett’s exclusive and private fashion show is not discussed.)

Gina continues to pretend to be Terri so that she can convince McAllister to help her figure out what Garrett’s current scheme is.  Meanwhile, Garrett recognizes McAllister as an American ninja so he arranges for his men to kidnap Gina (who, again, everyone thinks is Terri).  He threatens to kill Gina/Terri unless McAllister uses his ninja powers to break into the Brooklyn Museum of Art and steal the Crown Jewels of England.  McAllister agrees to do so, which leads to an extended sequence of Lee Van Cleef’s stunt double avoiding the security lasers by doing elaborate back flips.  Timothy Van Patten’s stunt double then does the exact same back flips.  Who knew that stealing the Crown Jewels would be so simple?

As you can probably guess, this all leads to all the stunt doubles getting into a fight at Garrett’s office.  Garrett is arrested.  The crown jewels are recovered.  Both McAllister and Max turn out to be surprisingly understanding about Gina having lied to them.  One would think that McAllister, who is essentially being hunted a ninja assassins because he came to America to find his daughter, would be a bit more upset over having his emotions so blatantly manipulated but McAllister actually appears to be amused by the whole thing.  Again, it’s hard not to suspect that finding Terri is not really as big a thing to McAllister as Max seems to believe it to be.

This is one of those episodes where everything was dependent upon everyone else being an idiot.  These are typically my least favorite episodes of any show and that’s the case here.  It’s kind of a shame because Lee Van Cleef and Timothy Van Patten both had some good moments in this episode.  The scenes where Max talked about how much he’s going to miss McAllister after they find Terri actually did have some emotional heft but it wasn’t enough to make up for the episode’s missteps.  I will admit that I smiled a bit at a subplot about an ad guy who wanted McAllister to put on a cowboy outfit and pose for a series of deodorant ads.  McAllister took one look at the outfit and said, “I would never wear that.”  Oh yes, you would, Van Cleef!

Next week: Okasa returns!

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Paul Thomas Anderson Edition

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking.

Today is the birthday of one of our greatest filmmakers, Paul Thomas Anderson!  This edition of 4 Shots From 4 Films is dedicated to him and his brilliant career!

4 Shots From 4 Paul Thomas Anderson Films

Boogie Nights (1997, dir by Paul Thomas Anderson, DP: Robert Elswit)

The Will Be Blood (2007, dir by Paul Thomas Anderson, DP: Robert Elswit)

The Master (2012, dir by Paul Thomas Anderson, DP: Mihai Mălaimare Jr.)

Phantom Thread (2017, dir by Paul Thomas Anderson)

Scenes That I Love: Freddie and Dodd’s Final Meeting From Paul Thomas Anderson’s The Master

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today’s scene that I love comes from 2012’s The Master, written and directed by Paul Thomas Anderson (who is celebrating his birthday today).

Philip Seymour Hoffman and Joaquin Phoenix were never better than they were in Anderson’s enigmatic story of two very different men who become unlikely friends.  Phoenix plays Freddie Quill, a World War II veteran who has never figured out how to adjust to life during peacetime.  Hoffman plays Lancaster Dodd, a writer who claims to have all the answers but who is actually a charlatan.  In this scene, Freddie and Dodd meet for one last time and, though they are both characters about who most viewers will have mixed feelings, there’s something undeniably poignant about their final moments together.  Both of them realize that the time they had is over.  And indeed, watching this scene today is all the more difficult because it reminds us of what a talent we lost when we lost Philip Seymour Hoffman.

From Paul Thomas Anderson’s The Master:

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 6/18/23 — 6/24/23

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Andor (Disney Plus)

I finished up Andor this week and I was surprised by not only how intelligent the show was but also how much I enjoyed it.  Usually, Star Wars stuff tends to bore me to tears but Andor was full of interesting characters, exciting action, and even a few memorable exchanges of dialogue.  The show took itself seriously without ever becoming dull.  Diego Luna gave a strong performance in the title role and really, the entire cast impressed.  On a personal note, one reason why I enjoyed it is because it didn’t get bogged down in all of the usual Star Wars mythology.  As such, even an outsider like me could follow what was going on.

Beavis and Butt-Head (Thursday, Paramount Plus)

“Those boys sure do die a lot,” I thought as I watched last week’s episode of Beavis and Butt-Head on Thursday.  The first segment on that episode, which featured Beavis and Butt-Head becoming hoarders, ended with their skeletons being discovered on their couch and then dumped into a dumpster without anyone bothering to even ask who they had been in life.  The second segment ended with Beavis finding inner peace via acupuncture.  Beavis enjoyed having the needles in his face so much that he ended up sticking a bunch of thumb tacks and sewing needles everywhere else on his body.  The episode ended with Beavis apparently castrating himself.  Fortunately, that happened offscreen.

This week’s episode featured even more hardship for Beavis.  Jealous because Butt-Head got to wear a stupid costume at work, Beavis made his own stupid uniform and eventually got beaten up.  (It’s too complicated to explain in a capsule review but it was all Butt-Head’s fault.)  This was followed by one of Tom Anderson’s stories about the Korean War and a segment in which Old Beavis and Butt-Head got a job working at a warehouse that was owned by a company that was totally not Amazon.  Needless to say, the warehouse burned down by the end of the day.

Bubblegum Crisis (NightFlight+)

As usual, I can’t truthfully that I was able to follow the plot of the episode of Bubblegum Crisis that I watched on Saturday morning.  But the explosions were plentiful and the animation was stylish.  Sometimes, you don’t have to know what’s going on.

City Guys (YouTube)

I wrote about City Guys here!

Dancing With The Stars (Disney Plus)

I’m not sure why I missed the 31st season of Dancing With The Stars when it originally aired but, with the Emmys approaching, I finally watched it this week.  It was pretty good, though I think Gabby and Val should have won.

Fantasy Island (Tubi)

I wrote about Fantasy Island here!

Forgive or Forget (YouTube)

I watched an episode on Sunday night.  It was from the Robin Givens years.  Parents demanded that their out-of-control teens sign a contract promising to no longer be out-of-control.  One teen signed and the others dramatically ripped the contracts into little pieces.  Robin yelled at all of them.  I doubt it made much difference in the long run but it probably made the parents feel better (or worse as the case may be.)

I Think You Should Leave With Tim Robinson (Netflix)

I binged the latest season on Wednesday night.  “This guy is trying to start a pay it forward chain!” made me laugh so hard that I nearly fell off my couch.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about this week’s episode of The Love Boat here!

Making the Cut (Prime)

The Master (Tubi)

I wrote about this week’s episode of The Master here!

Night Flight (NightFlight+)

On Friday night, I watched an episode of this 1984 episode of this show.  It was all about music videos based on movies.  Among the videos that they showed was the one for Relax from Frankie Goes To Hollywood.  From what I’ve seen, it appears that the people behind Night Flight were always looking for an excuse to show that video.

U.S. Open Golf (Sunday, NBC)

Congratulations to Wyndham Clark!  As always, I thought the course looked lovely.

So You Think You Can Dance (Fox/Tubi)

At the same time that I was binging the latest season of Dancing With The Stars, I was also watching what might be the last season of So You Think You Can Dance.  As always, I enjoyed the dancing but everything was pretty much overshadowed by the whole Matthew Morrison thing.  Personally, I always found Matthew Morrison’s performance to be the most annoying thing about Glee so I wasn’t particularly sad to see him step down as a judge on this show.

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about this week’s episodes here!

Retro Television Reviews: The Master 1.7 “Juggernaut”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing The Master, which ran on NBC from January to August of 1984.  The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, Lee Van Cleef gets a chance to show off what he can do!

Episode 1.7 “Juggernaut”

(Dir by Gordon Hessler, originally aired on March 16th, 1984)

This week’s episode of The Master opens with Max’s totally groovy van driving across what appears to be farmland.  Judging from the mountains in the background, it appears that they are back in California.  (If they did mention their specific location during this episode, I missed it.)  Last week, as you may remember, Max and McAllister were looking for McAllister’s daughter in Louisiana.  Now, they’re apparently just hanging out in California again.  It’s odd that McAllister left behind his life in Japan so that he could come to America to find his daughter but, now that he’s actually in America, there doesn’t really seem to be any sense of urgency when it comes to actually tracking her down.

Inside the van, McAllister informs Max that he’s concerned about the way that Max is always losing his temper and starting fights.  Max promises that there will be no more unprovoked fights on his part.  When they stop in front of a local bar, Max says he’s going to get a beer but he also promises McAllister that he will not be getting tossed through the bar’s window.

Five minutes later:

Now, in all fairness, it isn’t totally Max’s fault that he got thrown through that window.  Max went in the bar and saw Alan Kane (veteran TV and movie bad guy William Smith) harassing Cat Sinclair (Tara Buckman).  When Max told Alan to back off, Alan challenged Max to a fight.  Max was forced to explain that he’s not allowed to fight.  Cat rolled her eyes and then Alan tossed Max through the window.  Seeing that his protegee is in trouble, McAllister enters the bar, beats up Alan, and saves Max and Cat.

Even though Cat is not impressed with Max’s refusal to fight, she still gets in his van and allows him to give her a ride home.  It turns out that Cat and her mother, Maggie (Diana Muldaur), are farmers but an evil land baron named Hellman (Stuart Whitman) is trying to intimidate them off their land.  Alan works for Hellman and, because of him and his thugs, none of the farmers have been able to get their crops to market.

Both Cat and Maggie refuse to accept any help from Max and McAllister so our heroes get back in their totally happening van and try to leave town.  However, when one of Hellman’s truckers runs the love van off the road, the engine is damaged and the local mechanic informs Max that it will take 48 hours to fix it.  Stranded in town, Max searches for proof that Hellman’s trucker was the one who ran them off the road.  Meanwhile, McAllister returns to the farm and, turning on some of that Lee Van Cleef charm, proceeds to fall in love with Maggie.

If any of this sounds familiar, it’s because, with the exception of McAllister falling in love, it’s pretty much the same thing that happened in not only the first episode but also the third episode.  Max and McAllister have an uncanny talent for randomly wandering into towns that are controlled by evil businessmen.  Just as the first and third episodes featured Max giving impassioned speeches about the rights of the workers, this episode features McAllister giving a speech at a meeting in a barn.

While McAllister is giving his speech, Max is getting arrested for snooping around Hellman’s property.  Fortunately, McAllister puts on a fake beard and breaks him out of jail.  McAllister then directs the farmers to form a convoy and to work together to get their crops to market.  Though Alan attempts to set off a bunch of explosives on the way, McAllister uses a cropduster to fool Alan into setting off the explosions early.  Then, Lee Van Cleef’s stunt double beats up Hellman.  McAllister and Max congratulate each other on a job well done.

Having saved the farmers and beaten up the bad guys, it’s time for Max and McAllister to once again continue their journey across America.  McAllister may love Maggie but he still needs to (eventually) find his daughter so he gets in the Chevy van and waves goodbye.

As I said before, this episode felt very familiar.  It’s probably not a good sign that, after just seven episodes, The Master was pretty much repeating itself.  That said, the episode did feature the great William Smith playing yet another rural bully and Stuart Whitman always made for a convincing villain.  With Max sidelined by McAllister’s demand that he stop fighting, Lee Van Cleef got his moment to shine in this episode.  He was obviously frail, making it all the more obvious that his fight scenes involved a stunt man, but Van Cleef still got a chance to show off some of his old school movie star charisma.

Next week: The Master steals the Crown Jewels of the United Kingdom! …. sure, why not?

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 6/11/23 — 6/17/23

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

The Emmy submission ballots dropped this week and with it, I was reminded that there’s a lot of things that I still need to watch between now and the end of July.  Here’s what I watched this week as I tried to get caught up.

A Small Light (National Geographic)

Liev Schrieber and Bel Powley turned in powerful performances as the father of Anne Frank and the brave woman who helped the Franks as they hid in that Amsterdam attic for two years.  I’m going to try to write up a review of this important and heart-breaking miniseries next week.  Keep an eye out for it!

Agent Elvis (Netflix)

I watched the first episode of this animated series on Thursday.  The show imagines Elvis Presley as a secret agent in the late 60s.  The first episode featured him battling Charles Manson and the Family.  This is the type of pop culture sideshow that I would normally expect to enjoy but the first episode left me cold.  The humor was a bit too crude and mean-spirited.  I love Matthew McConaughey but he sounds nothing like Elvis and casting him only served to undercut what should have been the show’s best joke.  This was definitely a disappointment.

Andor (Disney Plus)

I just started binging Andor today.  I’m four episodes in.  I’ll give my thoughts after I finish the first season next week.  So far, I will say that I’m enjoying the show.  I think it helps that it’s a Star Wars show that, so far at least, hasn’t gotten bogged down in all of the Star Wars mythology.

Archer (FX)

On Thursday, I watched the episode of Archer that was submitted for this year’s Emmy Awards.  Archer and the Gang attended a spy convention and reluctantly saved the life of their new boss.  “Are we really going to save this guy?” Archer asked.  I always enjoy Archer whenever I see it so it’s strange that I haven’t gotten into the habit of regularly watching.  Seeing as how the series is coming to an end, I might finally binge the whole thing.

Bob’s Burgers (Fox, Sunday Night)

On Thursday, I watched the latest Bob’s Burgers Christmas episode and it was so sweet that it brought tears to my eyes.  “Louise is going to read a sincere poem!”

Captain Power & The Soldiers of the Future (Nightflight Plus)

I watched the first episode of this very cheesy Canadian show on Saturday morning.  According to the description of the video, it aired in the late 80s.  As you can probably guess from the title, it was a sci-fi show.  I had no idea what was going on for the majority of it but there were a lot of people carrying laser guns.

City Guys (YouTube)

I wrote about City Guys here!

Forgive or Forget (YouTube)

I watched an episode on Tuesday.  The first guest asked her sister to forgive her for getting her hooked on crack cocaine.  No, she was not forgiven.  The second guest asked her former best friend to forgive her for skipping her wedding.  Again, there was no forgiveness.  The third guest wanted his wife to apologize for piercing their daughter’s ears without asking him beforehand.  There was no apology.  The fourth guest apologized for sleeping with his friend’s girlfriend.  He was not forgiven.  This was a harsh episode!

I watched another episode on Saturday.  This one featured Robin Givens as host.  She spent a lot of time yelling, especially at this woman who lied about her husband threatening to kill her and didn’t say a word as he was sent to jail for several days.  Everyone was forgiven, even though some definitely did not deserve it.

Harley Quinn (Max)

I watched an episode of this animated show on Thursday.  Harley Quinn entered Bruce Wayne’s mind while searching for her friend, Frank.  In doing so, she discovered not only that Bruce Wayne was Batman but she also came to understand Bruce’s obsession with his parent’s death and fighting crime.  The episode managed to be both wonderfully satiric and surprisingly poignant.  After years of grim and serious Batman films, it was nice to see an episode that was all about just how ludicrous the whole thing is.  The animated version of Harley Quinn is far less annoying than the version that shows up in the movies.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

The Master (Tubi)

I wrote about The Master here!

Obi-Wan Kenobi (Disney Plus)

I finally got around to watching this miniseries this week.  Set in the Star Wars universe, it followed Ewan McGregor as he battled the Empire and saved the lives of both a young Princess Leia and a young Luke Skywalker.  If you were Luke, wouldn’t it piss you off that your sister got to grow up in an air-conditioned palace while you got shuffled off to a crime-ridden, poverty-stricken desert?  I mean — what the Hell, Yoda!?

Anyway, this miniseries wasn’t bad.  It was typical Star Wars stuff but worth it for the performances of Ewan McGregor and Hayden Christensen.  Still, I did find myself wishing that everyone stop saying the word “youngling.”

Rick and Morty (Adult Swim)

Over the past few months, with the accusations against Justin Roiland, Rick and Morty has gone from being one of the top cult shows around to being the show that people now pretend that they never watched in the first place.  Accused of domestic battery and kidnapping, Roiland was dismissed from the show.  The fact that the D.A. subsequently dropped the charges did not win back Roiland’s job but it did put the show in the unenviable position of being cited in multiple articles about cancel culture.  The show is set to continue without Roiland but I think Rick and Morty‘s days may be limited.

That said, I watched the Night Family episode on Thursday. (This is the episode that was submitted to the Emmys.)  It was a great episode, as the family went to war with the “night” versions of themselves.  It’s the type of episode that definitely deserves at least an Emmy nomination but, with all the recent controversy, it probably won’t happen.

Rollergames (YouTube)

Roller derby!  I watched the first episode of this show on Friday night, with Jeff and our friend, Pat.  The show aired in the late 80s and it featured a lot of people in a lot of costumes beating each other up.  At the end of the show, everyone had to jump over a bunch of alligators.  It was fun!

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back Kotter here!

Retro Television Reviews: The Master 1.6 “Fat Tuesday”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing The Master, which ran on NBC from January to August of 1984.  The show can be found on Tubi!

After spending last week in Las Vegas, John Peter McAllister (Lee Van Cleef) and Max Keller (Tim Van Patten) drive Max’s van across the country in search of McAllister’s daughter.

Episode 1.6 “Fat Tuesday”

(Dir by Sidney Hayes, originally aired on March 9th, 1984)

This episode opens not with a scene of Max Keller in training but instead with Okasa (Sho Kosugi) visiting a dojo in Las Vegas.  The master of the dojo explains that he does know where John Peter McAllister is but that he will not tell Okasa because he is not sure that Okasa is actually a former student of McAllister’s.  Okasa responds by 1) fighting every student at the dojo and 2) proving that, unlike Lee Van Cleef, Sho Kosugi didn’t need a stunt double for his scenes.  Having proven that he trained under the legendary McAllister, Okasa is informed that McAllister and Max Keller are in New Orleans.

That’s right!  This week, we’re in the Big Easy!

Of course, any show that takes place in New Orleans has to take place during Mardi Gras.  This episode is full of stock footage of the Mardi Gras celebrations but, at the same time, we never see McAllister or Max taking part in any of them.  In fact, other than a trip to a jazz club and a fight on a dock, McAllister and Max do very little that one would normally expect to see a visitor doing in New Orleans.  New Orleans is one of the most distinctive city in the U.S. but, in this episode of The Master, it might as well be Houston.

McAllister and Max are in New Orleans because a reporter named Eve Michaels (Susan Kase) has been writing a series of stories about how a wealthy businessman named Beaumont (Robert Pine) has been smuggling drugs into the city and selling weapons to Middle Eastern terror groups.  In her stories, Eve claims that her source is named Terri McAllister.  Could Eve’s source also be John Peter McAllister’s daughter?

Eve, The Reporter

No, she’s not.  However, it’s not just a case of mistaken identity.  As Eve eventually confesses to Max, Terri McAllister is a name that she assigned to a source that she made up.  It turns out that Eve never had a source for her stories about Beaumont but apparently, Beaumont is such a shady character that it was easy for Eve to imagine what Beaumont was probably doing.  Because Eve’s made-up story was too close to the truth, Beaumont kidnapped and killed Eve’s friend.  That just made Eve even more determined to make up additional lies, all of which turned out to be true.  As crazy as that sounds, what’s even crazier is that neither McAllister nor Max are particularly upset to discover that they’re no closer to finding the real Terri.  Indeed, McAllister seems to find the whole thing rather amusing which makes me wonder if he really cares about Terri or not.

Beaumont, the bad guy

Of course, Max and McAllister are also busy proving the Beaumont is a criminal.  They crash Beaumont’s Mardi Gras party.  McAllister wears his ninja costume.  Max dresses up like a …. well, I guess he’s supposed to be a pirate.

Okasa also shows up at the party, also dressed as a ninja.  In fact, this episode’s saving grace is that it features more of Okasa (and Sho Kosugi’s determined performance in the role) than any episode so far.  Not only do McAllister and Okasa fight at the party but they have a later confrontation at a park.  What’s interesting about this scene is that McAllister isn’t in his ninja uniform so Lee Van Cleef’s stunt double was required to put on a really phony looking bald cap for the fight scenes.  Needless to say, the fight scenes are filmed in long shot and McAllister never faces the camera.

Along with fighting Okasa, McAllister also faces off against two of Beaumont’s men.  In this fight scene, Van Cleef is actually shown throwing a punch and kick but he does so in slow motion and we don’t really see him making contact with anyone.

Oh, Lee!

This was a fairly generic episode.  The most disappointing thing about it is that it didn’t really have any New Orleans flair to it.  As well, the plot depended on a huge amount of coincidence and character stupidity.  (Just imagine if Beaumont had just threatened to sue Eve for libel, as opposed to sending his hired goons to kidnap her.)  Lee Van Cleef came across as being a bit tired and cranky in this episode.  To his credit, Tim Van Patten tried to inject some energy and some humor with his pirate disguise.  It didn’t work but at least he tried.

Next week: Max and McAllister take on an evil trucking company!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 6/4/23 — 6/10/23

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

I spent most of this week watching movies so this is probably not going to be my most impressive week in television.  That said, here’s a few notes on what I did watch!

All You Need Is Love (Night Flight Plus)

“Welcome to a guided tour of the world of popular music….”  This documentary series aired in the 70s and it traced the history of pop music, from the tunes of Tin Pan Alley to Broadway to rock and roll.  I watched the first, introductionary episode on Friday night.  It was interesting to see how everything linked up.

Beavis and Butt-Head (Thursday, Paramount Plus)

This week’s episode of Beavis and Butt-Head was okay.  I was happy, for instance, that the folks at the American Legion hall beat up Old Beavis and Butt-Head because no one should be allowed to get away with stolen valor.  The dog park thing was funny as long as you assume that the racoon didn’t have rabies.  The highlight of the episode was the way the boys reacted to the video of the woman who turned her  car into a chia pet.  “Is there any way to turn down someone’s personality?”

Fantasy Island (Tubi)

Read my latest Fantasy Island review here!

Forgive or Forget (YouTube)

On Tuesday, I watched an episode of this Mother Love-hosted talk show.  A man asked his best friend to forgive him for skipping her wedding.  She did.  Another woman asked her friend to apologize for not supporting her when she had experimental weight loss surgery.  An apology was given.

Happy Hour (YouTube)

This was a bizarre panel show from the late 90s.  It featured musical performances from Dweezil and Ahmet Zappa, dance numbers featuring the half-naked Bombshells, and two teams competing in arbitrary games that had no rules.  The episode that I watched on Saturday morning featured, among others, Lisa Loeb, Kelly Packard, Fred Willard, Sable, Jane Pratt, Chris Hardwick, and Aries Spears.  At one point, an odd man named Todd emerged from the audience and competed with Kelly Packard to see who knew the most about Kelly’s time on California Dreams.  Todd was kind of creepy and I hope Kelly got a restraining order on him after the show.

Anyway, it was a fun and strange hour.  I enjoyed the dancing.

The Master (Tubi)

I wrote about The Master here!

The Maury Povich Show (YouTube)

On Monday, I watched a 1992 episode of a talk show hosted by Maury Povich.  (I’m not sure but I think The Maury Povich Show was a different show from Maury’s better-known sleazefest, Maury!)  The episode featured Povich interviewing the director and the star of a film about Jeffrey Dahmer.  The families of Dahmer’s victims yelled at them.  A local reporter showed up and condemned the film.  The families yelled at the reporter for writing a book about Dahmer.  There was a lot of yelling.  Maury said that he held the first amendment sacred.

Sally Jessy Raphael (YouTube)

On Monday, I watched an episode where mothers sent their out-of-control teens to boot camp.  Personally, I’ve always felt that the whole boot camp thing was more about making the parents feel good than actually doing anything for their children.  I followed this up with an episode about women who were dating controlling men who would not let them escape their toxic relationships.  The worst of the men showed up wearing a Canada t-shirt.  It’s like he knew he was going on a nationally syndicated television show, he probably knew he was going to be portrayed as a villain, and he thought to himself, ‘I’m going to make sure they know I’m Canadian!”  I then watched a third episode, featuring more women married to sleazy men.  I hope they all got divorced after the show was filmed.

On Tuesday, I watched an episode in which Sally talked to people whose families were being destroyed by infidelity.  I imagine everyone who appeared on this episode is now divorced.  I then watched a second episode about stepfamilies in crisis.  I blamed the stepparents.

The Steve Wilkos Show (YouTube)

I watched an episode on Tuesday.  Steve sent two snotty teenagers to the Scared Straight program.  Steve was such a joke but somehow, he was never quite as sleazy as his former boss, Jerry Springer.

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back, Kotter here!