Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 11/12/23 — 11/18/23

Posted on November 18, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The Amazing Race (Wednesday Night, CBS)

I’m still trying to get caught up. Big Brother and October really set me behind. That said, I love The Amazing Race, even if I’m still figuring out who everyone is.

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I wrote about Baywatch Nights here!

Check It Out! (Tubi)

I watched a rather dumb episode of this Canadian sitcom earlier today. My review will be dropping shortly. Years from now, I’ll probably still be wondering what inspired me to review a silly Canadian sitcom that no one has ever heard of.

CHiPs (Freevee)

I wrote about CHiPs here!

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I wrote about Degrassi here!

Fantasy Island (YouTube)

I wrote about Fantasy Island here!

Frasier (Paramount+)

I watched the first episode of the Frasier revival on Thursday night. Kelsey Grammer was funny. Frasier Crane is the perfect role for him. Unfortunately, the rest of the cast was far less interesting and the first episode felt rather …. generic. The most interesting thing about the show is Frasier apparently spent the last few years hosting a television show called “Dr. Crane.” Now, personally, I’d rather see a show about him doing that than a show about him moving to Massachusetts and teaching at Harvard. Indeed, with everything that’s happening on various elite college campuses right now, the last thing I want to do is watch a show about how great Harvard is.

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

I wrote about Friday the 13th here!

Football Game: New York Jets Vs Las Vegas Raiders (Sunday Night, NBC)

I kind of watched this on Sunday, though I was also reading Britney Spears’s autobiography at the same time. I have no idea who won but Jeff tells me that it was a great game.

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

“Who does the Grail serve?” I wrote about this week’s episode here!

Jennifer Slept Here (YouTube)

I wrote about Jennifer Slept Here …. here!

Kitchen Nightmares (Tuesday Night, Fox)

I binged Kitchen Nightmares this week. Those were some disgusting kitchens! Speaking of disgusting, the most recent episode featured one of the most obnoxious man babies that I have ever seen. What a loser! I’m amazed Gordon didn’t just toss him out in the alley and tell him to go home.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

Monsters (Tubi)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Night Flight (Night Flight Plus)

On Friday night, Jeff and I watched an episode that was all about songs that were about food. It was a tasty 30 minutes.

Survivor (Wednesday Night, CBS)

I have a feeling that we’re going to get a bitter jury this season. Everyone has been shooting death glares at each other, this entire season. Last night, I thought the latest person voted out was going to throw a punch before she left the island.

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back, Kotter here!

Yes, Prime Minister (Monday Morning, PBS)

Hacker’s predecessor died and, to Hacker’s barely suppressed delight, that meant that he would never actually finish his autobiographer, which was full of unflattering details about Hacker. Unfortunately, Hacker also had to deal with the details of the state funeral and that meant dealing with the French. I was pretty tired when I watched this episode so I don’t remember all of the details but I do remember being amused by the arrogance of the French ambassador.

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 3.16 “Making the Grade/The Gift/Doc’s ‘Ex’ Change”

Posted on November 15, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, Doc Bricker gets his moment in the spotlight.

Episode 3.16 “Making The Grade/The Gift/Doc’s “Ex” Change

(Dir by Gordon Farr, originally aired on December 15th, 1979)

Since the very first episode of The Love Boat, viewers have continually been told that Doctor Adam Bricker is a notorious swinger, a lothario was has been married numerous times and to whom almost every woman is immediately attracted. There’s really not much about Bernie Kopell’s likable but rather mild-mannered performance as Doc that would lead anyone to think that any of that would be true but the show insists that Dr. Bricker is a legend of the high seas.

On this week’s episode, Doc’s most recent wife, Samantha (Juliet Prowse), boards the ship. She and Doc split up a few years ago and they have a friendly relationship. However, when Samantha informs Doc that her crooked lawyer never actually filed their divorce papers, Doc realizes that they are technically still married! Will they get a quickie divorce in Mexico (which is Doc’s first idea) or will the give marriage another try? (That’s Doc’s second idea.) In the end, they realize that they are just too different to make a marriage work. Samantha is smart and practical, while Doc is …. well, actually, Doc is the exact same way. Doc insists that he and Samantha don’t have much in common but actually, they have a lot in common. I think Doc is kind of fooling himself into thinking that he’s more of an impulsive wild man than he really is. Anyway, at the end of the cruise, they decide to get divorced but at least they still like each other. Doc never quit gets his heart broken like the rest of the cast does. I guess that’s why he’s a legend.

Meanwhile, Vicki finally gets someone her own age to hang out with when Danny Harris (Johnny Timko) boards with his mother, Madeline (Jessica Walter). Unfortunately, Danny is also kind of a spoiled brat and he’s really not happy when he discovers that his teacher, John Hurley (Dick Gautier), is also on board. And then Danny is even more upset when John starts to romance Madeline. And really, Danny has a point. No one wants to see their teacher (or their boss) while they are on vacation. And seriously, no one wants to deal with the idea of their teacher (or, again, their boss) suddenly becoming their stepfather. That said, Danny eventually makes peace with the idea of his mom dating his teacher and everyone leaves the boat happy.

The final storyline features one of those plots that drives me crazy, because it could have easily been resolved by everyone not acting like an idiot. Buddy Redmond (Red Buttons) boards the boat with his wife, Joan (Kaye Ballard). Buddy claims that it’s been years since he last gambled but actually, he’s lying. He has $2,000 in his suit pocket, money that he got from his bookie. Joan doesn’t know about it. When Joan hears that two other passengers, Benny Carter (frequent Love Boat guest star Sonny Bono) and Sally (Ronee Blakely), have lost their luggage, she donates Buddy’s jacket so that Benny will have something to wear at dinner. When the envelope containing the money falls out of the jacket, Benny and Sally think that all of their financial problems have been solved. Meanwhile, Buddy desperately wants to get back both the jacket and the money but he doesn’t want his wife to find out why. Meanwhile, Benny and Sally need the money but they don’t want to steal it if it actually did fall out the jacket so they try to convince themselves that the envelope could have been left in their cabin by a previous passenger who is no longer on the boat. Seriously, it’s exhausting to try to keep up with these people. Fortunately, once Buddy discovers that Benny and Sally really need the money, he lets them keep it. Joan is so touched that she totally forgets about the fact that her husband is apparently still a degenerate gambler.

Even by Love Boat standards, this was a silly episode. At the same time, it was a pleasant diversion. Juliet Prowse and Bernie Kopell made a nice couple, even if you never quite bought the idea of Doc being a playboy. Red Buttons wisely underplayed his role and therefore, Buddy remained sympathetic even while demanding the return of his jacket. Even Sonny Bono and Ronee Blakely were likable as a nice couple who found themselves in over their heads. This cruise was silly but pleasant.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 11/5/23 — 11/11/23

Posted on November 11, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The Amazing Race (Wednesday Night, CBS)

I’m still struggling to get caught up with this season. Hopefully, I’ll have a lot of thoughts to share on the show after this weekend!

Big Brother 25 (24/7, Paramount Plus and CBS)

This stupid season is finally over! You can read my thoughts over at the Reality TV Chat Blog!

Check It Out (Tubi)

My review of this week’s episode of Check It Out should be dropping in about an hour. Personally, I am proud of myself for the dedication that I have shown to reviewing a show that I don’t think anyone else has ever heard of.

C.H.i.Ps (Freevee)

Jeff and I watched two episodes of this extremely 70s cop show earlier tonight. Jeff thinks I should review it for my next Retro series and I think he might be right! The episodes we watched were all about disco roller skating. It was fascinating in its own weird way.

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I wrote about Degrassi Junior High here!

Dirty Pair Flash (YouTube)

I watched an episode of this anime on Friday night. It was a fun episode, one featuring a lot of explosions and cute outfits.

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

Saturday night, I watched two episodes featuring Crystal and Anthony. Anthony was accused of doing something unthinkable to his daughter by his former girlfriend, Crystal. From the start, it was pretty obvious that Crystal was coaching her daughter and Anthony had not molested his daughter. Crystal and her mother repeatedly yelled over Dr. Phil and at Anthony. In general, people who are telling the truth don’t have to yell to make their point.

On Tuesday afternoon, I passed the time by rewatching the episode in which Dr. Phil talked to the creator of Jilly Juice, a disgusting-looking concoction that she claimed could regrow limbs, promote good health, and “cure homosexuality.” I’ve been pretty critical of some of Dr. Phil’s shows but he was definitely at his best when he was exposing Jilly Juice, which had the unfortunate side effect of causing strokes.

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

I wrote about Friday the 13th: The Series here!

Gun (Tubi)

I wrote about the final episode of Gun here!

Jennifer Slept Here (YouTube)

Here, I wrote about Jennifer Slept Here.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

Monsters (Tubi)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Nightmare Café (YouTube)

I finished up Nightmare Café this week. My review can be found here!

Sally Jessy Raphael (YouTube)

On Tuesday night, I watched an old episode of this 90s talk show. Sally talked to men who treated their wives like slaves. It was a skin-crawling episode and hopefully, every guest on it got divorced after their appearance.

On Wednesday night, I watched an episode featuring teenagers who were upset that their moms were dressing slutty. To be honest, the teens all came across as being kind of whiny.

The Steve Wilkos Show (YouTube)

On Tuesday night, I watched an episode in which a guy with a beard that made him look like a California cult leader was convinced that his stepdaughter’s boyfriend, who had a mustache that made him look like the owner of a 70s leather bar, was being abusive. They both took lie detector tests and ended up shouting each other as the end credits rolled.

Survivor (Wednesday Night, CBS)

Just as with The Amazing Race, I’m dropping into this season late and still struggling to get caught up. Hopefully, I’ll be caught up by the end of tomorrow. For what I have seen, I am definitely Team Emily!

T and T (Tubi)

I reviewed T and T here!

Welcome Back Kotter (Tubi)

I reviewed Welcome Back Kotter here!

Yes, Prime Minister (Monday Morning, PBS)

When his predecessor as PM describes Jim in unflattering terms in his autobiography, Jim tries to suppress the book through the Official Secrets Act. It all led to a bit of a scandal and a lot of laughs. Bernard got to do quite a bit in this episode, which I appreciated. Bernard is always a fun character, seeing as how he’s right in the middle between Jim’s cluelessness and Sir Humphrey’s manipulativeness.

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 3.15 “The Harder They Fall/The Spider Serenade/Next Door Wife”

Posted on November 8, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Gopher falls in love. Yes, Gopher.

Episode 3.15 “The Harder They Fall/The Spider Serenade/Next Door Wife”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on December 8th, 1979)

After three seasons of being goofy comedic relief, Gopher finally got his heart broken in this episode. He fell in love with a passenger named Claire Dalrymple (Jill St. John), who is on the boat by herself because she has recently separated from her husband, Nelson (Robert Sampson). And Claire eventually fell in love with Gopher, especially after he dressed up like a mariachi singer and serenaded her with a song about the time that she asked him to kill a spider that was in her cabin. This time, it was Gopher who ended up waking up in a cabin with a passenger.

(I’m sure some would say it was a bit unrealistic that Claire, upon seeing a spider in her cabin, would run out into the hallway, screaming while wearing only a towel. I’ve done the exact same thing at a hotel because spiders are scary!)

But does Claire really love Gopher or if she just looking for someone to feel the void left by her separation. When her husband shows up on the boat, he turns out to be a pretty reasonable and polite guy. He tells Gopher that, while Gopher can give Claire anything she wants at sea, Nelson can give her everything she needs on land. Is Nelson suggesting some sort of special arrangement here? Well, if he is, it totally goes over Gopher’s head. At the end of the cruise, Claire decides to leave with Nelson and Gopher can only sadly watch as she leaves.

Awwwwwww! Poor Gopher!

It’s kind of weird to see Gopher in a sad story. That’s not the fault of Fred Grandy, who always likable and did a pretty good job with the role. Instead, it’s just that Gopher is such a goofy character that it takes a bit of adjustment to suddenly see him being sincere. His storyline here worked well-enough, once you got used to the idea of Gopher being serious. If anything, Gopher was so sad by the end of it that it suddenly made sense why he’s always telling jokes and trying to avoid any sort of emotional commitment. He’s hurting inside!

The other two storylines were goofy enough to make up for Gopher’s serious turn. Chet Hanson (James McArthur) is on the cruise with his girlfriend, Kim (Susan Buckner). Chet’s wife, Carol, (Joanna Pettet) also shows up on the cruise and gives Chet the papers to sign for their divorce. Chet and Carol are fairly friendly for a divorcing couple but Chet is still upset when Carol buys a ticket for the cruise and ends up staying in the cabin across the hall from him and Kim. Soon, Carol is stopping by constantly and telling Chet about a man that she’s been flirting with. Eventually, Chet realizes that he doesn’t want to get a divorce and he and Carol get back together. That really sucks for Kim, who is surprisingly tolerant of being followed around by her boyfriend’s wife. This storyline really did leave a sour aftertaste. Chet was a jerk and Kim deserved better.

Finally, Ed “Flash” Taylor (Milton Berle) and Jack McTigue (Alan Hale, Jr.) were both boxers in their youth. They fought one legendary fight, in which they not only beat the Hell out of each other but also knocked out the referee. Now, they are both cruise line executives and they both end up on their boat at the same time. As soon as they see each other, their rivalry reignites and they prepare for a rematch on the boat. When Captain Stubing tries to stop the fight, he is accidentally knocked out by the two boxers. Somehow, this leads to peace between Ed and Jack and not to Captain Stubing suing his bosses for punching him. Seriously, the Love Boat is floating HR nightmare.

This was an okay episode, largely due to Gopher’s unexpectedly sad story. The other two stories were just goofy but, when it comes to The Love Boat, the goofiness is the point.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 10/29/23 — 11/4/23

Posted on November 4, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Well, Horrorthon is over and I’m trying to get caught up on all the shows that I have waiting for me on the DVR and on all the streaming services. It’ll probably take a while for me to watch all of it but that’s okay. I always enjoy a good excuse to just sit on the couch for a few hours.

Here’s a few notes on what I watched this week!

The Amazing Race (Wednesday Night, CBS)

I can’t wait to get caught up on the latest season of The Amazing Race! I watched the latest episode on Wednesday and I’m glad that the team that got U-turned still managed to survive and make it to the pit stop in time. I’ve never been a fan of the U-turn and I always lose a little respect for teams that choose to use it. Of course, this season, it appears that the teams have not been given the option of opting out.

Big Brother 25 (24/7, CBS and Paramount Plus)

Yay! This season is nearly over. Seriously, this is one of the all-time worst seasons of a show that really has never been that good to begin with. I’ve been writing about Big Brother over at the Reality TV Chat Blog!

Check It Out (Tubi)

I watched the 5th episode of this Canadian sitcom earlier today. Unless I get too tired to write it up, my review should drop in a few more hours.

Dirty Pair Flash (YouTube)

I watched another episode of this anime on Friday night. I couldn’t really follow the plot but everyone had really neat hair and a lot of stuff blew up. It was stylish and fun in its own incoherent way.

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

I used several episodes of Dr. Phil as background noise this week. I quickly got used to the sound of him yelling about being trained in forensics.

Friday the 13th (YouTube)

I wrote about Friday the 13th here!

Get Gotti (Netflix)

Get Gotti is a three-episode crime docudrama about the efforts to put mobster John Gotti in jail. It’s a story that I’ve heard before but John Gotti was an intriguing figure and the docuseries did a good job of contrasting Gotti’s flamboyant charisma with the somewhat more low-key people who spent years trying to put him in prison. New York in the 80s will always be a fascinating topic.

Gun (Tubi)

I wrote about Gun here!

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!

Jennifer Slept Here (YouTube)

Here, I wrote about Jennifer Slept Here!

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

Monsters (Tubi)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Nightmare Café (YouTube)

I wrote about the next-to-final episode of this series here!

Survivor (Wednesday Night, CBS)

I wrote about Survivor here!

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back, Kotter here!

Yes, Prime Minister (PBS, Monday Morning)

The second season started with Sir Humphrey getting rid of a troublesome cabinet secretary by tricking Jim into thinking the secretary was planning to launch a leadership challenge. What’s funny is that the secretary was viewed as being a threat because of his radical employment policies but, once he had been manipulated it resigning, Jim decided to continue the secretary’s plan and just take credit for it himself. No one won but it was very funny.

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 3.14 “The Stimulation of Stephanie/Life Begins at 40/The Next Step”

Posted on November 1, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Come aboard! They’re expecting you!

Episode 3.14 “The Stimulation of Stephanie/Life Begins at 40/The Next Step”

(Dir by Allen Baron, originally aired on December 1st, 1979)

After being unexplainably absent last week, Vicki returns this week and is once again somehow a member of the Love Boat crew, despite only being 12. Nobody asks where she was last week and certainly, no one asks her how she’s doing in school. In fact, not only the crew but also the passengers seem to be totally accepting of the idea of a 12 year-old working as the assistant to the cruise director. I guess the 70s were a different time.

If I seem to be harping on the strangeness of Vicki living on the boat, that’s because this week’s episode really isn’t that interesting. This week’s episode is a fairly bland one. It’s so bland that it really leaves you with no choice but wonder about the logistics of how the boat works. And really, that’s something that should never happen when you’re watching a show like The Love Boat. If you’re worrying about real-life questions while watching a show like this, it means that you’re watching an episode that just isn’t working. The Love Boat, like Fantasy Island, should be an escape from reality and not an excuse to wonder about how it all works.

As usual, we’ve got three storylines to deal with. Jo Anne Worley plays Dottie Anderson, who is 39 years old and still unmarried. She’s booked herself in the honeymoon suite because she is determined that she is going to meet a man and get married over the course of the cruise. Julie assures Dottie that there’s nothing wrong with being single when you’re 4o, which is easy for Julie to say because someone asks her to get married during almost every cruise. Anyway, Dottie flirts with a lot of men and ultimately, she comes to realize that Julie was right. She embraces being single and leaves the boat happy. Yay! This storyline didn’t add up too much but at least Jo Anne Worley knew how to deliver a joke.

Meanwhile, pro football player Virgil Plummer (Roosevelt Grier) is upset because he’s about to retire from the game that he loves and he doesn’t know what the future holds for him. With the help of his wife (Melba Moore) and Isaac, Virgil realizing that he can pursue a career as a cook. Personally, I’m not sure why he wouldn’t just retire and live off the millions he made as a football player. Or maybe he could become a coach or one of those “fight for every inch” motivational speakers. Grier and Moore had a likable chemistry (even if it did feel more like a close friend chemistry as opposed to a married chemistry) but again, this storyline just didn’t add up too much.

Finally, sex research Norman Bridges (Dick Martin) and his assistant, Stephanie Champman (Char Fontane) board the boat. Bridges wants to research the roots of sexual simulation. Stephanie is in love with Bridges, though you have to wonder why because he’s kind of a boring jerk. Still, when Norman thinks that Doc Bricker is trying to seduce Stephanie, Norman goes down to Bricker’s cabin and punches him. Unfortunately, Norman wasn’t wearing his glasses and didn’t initially realize that the woman in Doc’s cabin was not Stephanie but was instead a passenger named Lena (Judy Landers). Eventually, Norman does figure out that Stephanie loves him and they leave the boat together. Somehow, Norman got away with assaulting the ship’s doctor. This storyline was just dumb. No one in their right mind would fall in love with someone as clueless and self-absorbed as Norman.

This was a less-than-satisfactory cruise. But that’s what happens when you break child labor laws.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Televison: 10/22/23 — 10/28/23

Posted on October 28, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I’ve got so much stuff piling up on the DVR. I’ll get caught up on it all in November!

Big Brother (24/7, CBS and Paramount Plus)

I wrote about this stupid show over at the Reality TV Chat Blog! I will be so happy when this season is over. Every day, I pray for the cancellation of this show.

Check It Out! (Tubi)

I watched the fourth episode of Check It Out! on Friday. My review will drop in a few hours.

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I wrote about Degrassi Junior High here!

Dragnet (Weekday Morning, MeTV)

I woke up early enough on Monday that, when I turned on television, I found myself watching the episode of Dragnet where Joe Friday served on a review board that was investigating whether a police officer had failed to properly identity himself. It was not one of the more interesting episodes of Dragnet.

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

On Sunday, I watched an episode of Dr. Phil in which Phil interviewed a woman who shaved her head and faked having cancer. The woman said that she felt very guilty. Dr. Phil didn’t buy it.

On Tuesday morning, I watched Dr. Phil talk to a woman who was in an abusive marriage with a total jerk. Dr. Phil called the jerk a “loud-mouthed bully” but it didn’t really seem to do much good. Later, on Tuesday evening, I watched an episode about an out-of-control teen named Taylor. Phil yelled at the parents but he didn’t seem to do much good for Taylor.

On Saturday night, I watched an episode about a disastrous wedding that was still tearing a family apart. Seriously, it was a really bad wedding. I think the only solution was for the wife to get a divorce. “Wow,” Dr. Phil said, in his condescending way.

Gun (Tubi)

I wrote about Gun here.

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!

The Hitchhiker (YouTube)

I watched several episodes of The Hitchhiker this week, while choosing which ones to feature on the site. It was a bit of an uneven show but, when it worked, it worked. I loved Page Fletcher’s super-judgmental monologues.

It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (Apple TV+)

Erin and I watched this classic on Thursday. Read Erin’s’ thoughts on it here!

Jennifer Slept Here (YouTube)

I wrote about Jennifer Slept Here here!

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

Nightmare Café (YouTube)

I wrote about Nightmare Café here!

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

Toy Story Of Terror (Disney Plus)

Erin and I watched this on Thursday, after we watched It’s The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown. I love the toys! This isn’t their best adventure but it’s still nice to see and hear everyone again.

The Vanishing Shadow (Night Flight Plus)

I watched Chapter Three of this serial on Friday night. In this episode, the invisibility ray was used.

Welcome Back Kotter (Tubi)

I reviewed Welcome Back Kotter here!

Yes Prime Minister (Monday Morning, PBS)

A member of Jim’s cabinet had a plan that he felt would help the economy and reduce unemployment. Sir Humphrey felt that the cabinet member was a pointless radical and encouraged Jim to ignore him. This episode featured one of my favorite sources of humor on this show, Jim’s tendency to just agree with whoever last spoke to him. It feels like a very realistic portrait of the way governments work.

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 3.13 “Not Now, I’m Dying/Too Young to Love/Eleanor’s Return”

Posted on October 25, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Captain Stubing’s in love again. Things don’t work out.

Episode 3.13 “Not Now, I’m Dying/Too Young To Love/Eleanor’s Return”

(Dir by Alan Rafkin and Roger Duchowny, originally aired on November 24th, 1979)

The first thing that I noticed about this episode is that the name of guest star Jon Cypher was misspelled as “Jon Cyphers” on his intro card. I’m sure that Cypher appreciated that. Jon Cypher may never have been a household name but he appeared in several movies and a ton of television shows, usually cast as autocratic authority figures. Misspelling his name is an odd error for a guest star-driven show like The Love Boat to make.

The other thing I noticed was that Jill Whelan was not listed in the opening credits and indeed, Vicki is not in the episode. The simple explanation is that this episode was originally meant to air before Stubing adopted Vicki. Still, I did find myself wondering if maybe Captain Stubing finally realized that it was kind of weird for a 12 year-old to live on a cruise ship. Vicki living on the ship has always confused me. I mean, she’s 12 and she’s apparently now working for the cruise line. Shouldn’t she be in school? Does she have a tutor on the boat? I mean, how is any of this legal?

Captain Stubing didn’t say anything about Vicki in this episode but that’s because he was devoting most of his attention to Eleanor (Barbara Rush). Eleanor previously appeared during the second season, during which Stubing fell for her. Stubing is excited that Eleanor will be taking the cruise for a second time but, before he can ask her out, Eleanor is approached by Russell Evans (Jon ~~Cyphers~~ Cypher). Russell asks Eleanor to dance with him and Stubing can only watch helplessly as Eleanor has a whirlwind romance with Russell. Unfortunately, Russell turns out to be a bit of a cad but, by the time time Eleanor realizes this, the cruise is almost over! Stubing chastely comforts her and I did appreciate that the show didn’t have her just magically get over her broken heart and have her hook up with the Captain. At the end of the cruise, Eleanor says goodbye once again and Stubing can only hope that she’ll take a third trip on the boat.

While this is going on, Doc is excited because his friend, Lucy (Barbi Benton), has boarded the boat with her fiancé, Peter Welch (Dack Rambo). Lucy is really enthusiastic about getting married but Peter’s not sure if he wants to settle down. So, in an example of incredibly weird thinking, Peter lies and tells Lucy that he’s dying of a tropical disease and it wouldn’t be fair of him to marry her. When Lucy tells Doc the news, Doc informs Lucy that Peter’s disease doesn’t exist. In order to get back at Peter, Lucy arranges for Peter to be examined by Doc. The plan is for Doc to violate his Hippocratic oath and risk his medical license by giving Peter a false diagnosis. However, Doc discovers that Peter actually is sick. He has Lou Gehrig’s Disease. This leads to Peter and Lucy realizing that they really do love each other.

Finally, two underage kids — Terry (Timothy Patrick Murphy) and Monica (Christen Kauffmann) — board the boat under false names and check into the honeymoon cabin so that they can take their relationship to the next level. However, Monica is the daughter of one of the cruise line’s executives and, when he discovers what is going on, he orders Stubing to keep the kids apart. Since Stubing is more interested in pursuing Eleanor, he gives the job to Gopher.

Instead of just confronting the kids about lying to get the honeymoon suite and assigning them to different cabins, Gopher decided to rely on his mastery of disguise. Gopher disguises himself as both an old man and a bearded Scotsman and continually makes sure that Terry and Monica never get any time alone. Terry is annoyed but Monica is happy because she’s not sure if she actually wants to lose her virginity to a handsome and considerate guy who has enough money to afford a luxurious cabin on a cruise ship.

This episode was …. well, it was okay. It was a typical episode of The Love Boat, in that everyone was attractive and the boat looked really nice. With the exception of Eleanor’s story, this was a fairly superficial 45 minutes. That said, it was a pleasant episode even if it wasn’t particularly memorable.

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 3.12 “The Brotherhood of the Sea/Letter to Babycakes/Daddy’s Pride”

Posted on October 18, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This cruise is all about deception! Welcome aboard, it’s love!

Episode 3.12 “The Brotherhood of the Sea/Letter to Babycakes/Daddy’s Pride”

(Dir by George Tyne, originally aired on November 17th, 1979)

Julie’s birthday is coming up and the crew is planning to throw her a surprise party. However, to keep Julie from catching on to what they’re planning, Doc, Gopher, and Isaac decide that they need to keep her occupied. They tell her that they are all member of the “The Brotherhood of the Sea” and that they’re now prepared to make Julie a member as well.

Somehow, Julie falls for this very obvious lie and she spends almost the entire cruise doing all of the silly activities that Doc, Gopher, and Isaac have set up for her. As I watched this, I found myself wondering if maybe Julie had somehow forgotten when her birthday was because, seriously, it couldn’t have been any more obvious what Doc, Gopher, and Isaac were doing. Even worse, Julie gets so busy trying to join the Brotherhood of the Sea that she neglects her latest romantic partner, Rory Daniels (Christopher Connelly).

It’s time that we just face facts. Until Julie gets off that boat, she’s never going to find the husband that she always says that she’s looking for. The Boat pretty much dominates Julie’s life and there’s no way that her male co-workers are ever going to stop out of the way and allow Julie to find any sort of happiness. It’s an interesting dynamic and I think it’s one that’s familiar to any woman who has worked with mostly male co-workers. On the one hand, the ground you walk on is worshipped. On the other hand, they don’t ever want to let you go.

While Julie is trying to join the Brotherhood of the Sea, Olympic gymnast Penny Barrett (Nancy McKeon) just wants to hang out with Kevin (Stephen Manley), a passenger who is her own age. Unfortunately, Penny’s father (Alex Cord) is also her coach and he wants her to devote all of her time, even her time on the Boat, to training. Poor Penny! Seriously, back when my whole life was about going to dance class, I met so many people like Penny, whose parents basically lived their entire lives through them and never allowed them to have a childhood. I was glad my parents supported me but didn’t pressure me.

Finally, wealthy Bart (Demon Wilson) boards the ship with his girlfriend, Tracy (Telma Hopkins), and his assistant, Wally (Jimmie Walker). After Bart meets Ginger (Sydney Goldsmith), he decides that he wants to cheat on Tracy and he expects Wally to help him pull it off by keeping Tracy busy while Bart goes off with Ginger. Needless to say this leads to Tracy and Wally falling in love. Ha! Take that, Bart! This storyline would have been a bit more interesting if the two leads actors weren’t so boring in their roles.

This was a so-so cruise but at least Julie knows where she stands now.

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 3.10 and 3.11: “The Love Lamp Is Lit/Critical Success/Rent a Family/Take My Boyfriend, Please/The Man in Her Life”

Posted on October 11, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, it’s a double length episode of The Love Boat as the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders take over the cruise!

Episodes 3.10 and 3.11 “The Love Lamp Is Lit/Critical Success/Rent a Family/Take My Boyfriend, Please/The Man in Her Life”

(Dir by Roger Duchowny, originally aired on November 10th, 1979)

This episode features the first time that Jill Whelan (as Vicki) is included in the opening credits and what an episode to be included in! It’s time for a special charity cruise of the Love Boat! In order to raise money for an orphanage in Mexico, the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders will be performing on the boat!

I don’t really follow football but I do know that both the Cowboys and their cheerleaders were really popular back in the 70s and 80s. (Living in Texas, I’ve become very good at sympathetically nodding whenever anyone starts talking about frustrated they are with the Cowboys.) Still, the idea of the cheerleaders performing on a cruise ship for a charity drive seems a little off. I mean, shouldn’t they be cheering at a football game? As I always do when it come to things involving cheerleaders, I asked my sister Erin if any of this made sense to her. Erin suggested that I not worry about it because it’s The Love Boat. And really, she has a point. The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders marching onto the boat in full uniform and practicing their routines by the pool makes about as much sense as 11 year-old Vicki suddenly living on a cruise ship. With The Love Boat, you just have to kind of go with it.

The Cheerleaders play themselves, with three of them getting storylines of their own and I will say that they all came across as being likable and natural in their performances. I always kind of dread any episode that features celebrities playing themselves because just because someone is famous, that doesn’t mean they’re going to be a good actor. (I still remember all of those stiff basketball player cameos on Hang Time.) But the cheerleaders all do a good job, even if none of them are given particularly challenging roles.

Stacy (Tami Barber), for instance, is shocked when Mark Scott (Stephen Shortridge) boards the cruise. Mark was someone who pursued her in Dallas but she wanted nothing to do with him. However, on the boat, Mark shows that he’s a nice guy underneath his smooth exterior. He even choreographs a new routine for the charity performance. Good for him!

Wendy Ames (Gaye Carter) boards the boat with her mother, Helen (Dina Merrill) and Helen’s boyfriend, Bill (William Windom). Helen gets jealous of the amount of time that Wendy and Bill are spending together and, when she sees the two of them looking at wedding rings, she decides that they’re having an affair! No, Helen — Bill wants to marry you! This whole storyline was silly, to be honest. Helen just came across as being unnaturally paranoid.

Lisa (Kim Kilway) meets and falls for Paul (Bill Daily), who is the newest vice president of the greeting card company that is sponsoring the cruise. Paul loves Lisa to but he has a problem. He’s traveling with his fake family! Why does Paul have a fake family? Apparently, Paul’s boss (John Hillerman) only hires family men. (That sounds like a lawsuit in the making.) Paul recruited a fake wife (Roz Kelly), mother (Patsy Kelly), and son (Jackie Earle Haley, who appears to be having a lot of fun playing bratty) to pretend to be his family. The truth comes out, of course. Fortunately, Lisa is remarkably forgiving and Paul avoids getting fired by promising to marry and start a family with Lisa as quickly as possible. Again, this all sounds like the beginning of Supreme Court case.

Among the non-cheerleaders, Lou (Larry Linville) and Nora (Gunilla Hutton) are two jewel thieves who board the boat so that they can find some diamonds they hid the last time they took a cruise. They hid the diamonds in a lamp and it turns out that the lamp is now in the possession of a member of the crew. This leads to Nora flirting with Gopher, Isaac, and Doc and then quickly abandoning them once it becomes clear that they don’t have the lamp. (These scenes were fun, largely because of Gunilla Hutton’s comedic timing.) Finally, Lou and Nora get the diamonds but they have a change of heart and, along with declaring their love for each other, Lou and Nora also donate the $500,000 that they’re going to make from selling the diamonds to the orphanage! Yay! Assuming that Lou and Nora don’t get arrested while trying to fence the stolen merchandise, the orphanage will greatly benefit.

Meanwhile, an acerbic theatrical critic (Douglas Fairbanks, Jr.) tries to get an actress (Ginger Rogers) to agree to appear in his new play. In the end, they realize they’re in love and Ginger Rogers sings Love Will Keep Us Together.

There was a lot going on in this episode but it was enjoyably silly in the way that the best episodes of The Love Boat usually are. It was excessive and ridiculous, but fun. On The Love Boat could you get Jackie Earle Haley mocking his fake father while Ginger Rogers sang a song. This was an enjoyable episode and it did Dallas proud.