Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, Gopher falls in love.  Yes, Gopher.

Episode 3.15 “The Harder They Fall/The Spider Serenade/Next Door Wife”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on December 8th, 1979)

After three seasons of being goofy comedic relief, Gopher finally got his heart broken in this episode.  He fell in love with a passenger named Claire Dalrymple (Jill St. John), who is on the boat by herself because she has recently separated from her husband, Nelson (Robert Sampson).  And Claire eventually fell in love with Gopher, especially after he dressed up like a mariachi singer and serenaded her with a song about the time that she asked him to kill a spider that was in her cabin.  This time, it was Gopher who ended up waking up in a cabin with a passenger.

(I’m sure some would say it was a bit unrealistic that Claire, upon seeing a spider in her cabin, would run out into the hallway, screaming while wearing only a towel.  I’ve done the exact same thing at a hotel because spiders are scary!)

But does Claire really love Gopher or if she just looking for someone to feel the void left by her separation.  When her husband shows up on the boat, he turns out to be a pretty reasonable and polite guy.  He tells Gopher that, while Gopher can give Claire anything she wants at sea, Nelson can give her everything she needs on land.  Is Nelson suggesting some sort of special arrangement here?  Well, if he is, it totally goes over Gopher’s head.  At the end of the cruise, Claire decides to leave with Nelson and Gopher can only sadly watch as she leaves.

Awwwwwww!  Poor Gopher!

It’s kind of weird to see Gopher in a sad story.  That’s not the fault of Fred Grandy, who always likable and did a pretty good job with the role.  Instead, it’s just that Gopher is such a goofy character that it takes a bit of adjustment to suddenly see him being sincere.  His storyline here worked well-enough, once you got used to the idea of Gopher being serious.  If anything, Gopher was so sad by the end of it that it suddenly made sense why he’s always telling jokes and trying to avoid any sort of emotional commitment.  He’s hurting inside!

The other two storylines were goofy enough to make up for Gopher’s serious turn.  Chet Hanson (James McArthur) is on the cruise with his girlfriend, Kim (Susan Buckner).  Chet’s wife, Carol, (Joanna Pettet) also shows up on the cruise and gives Chet the papers to sign for their divorce.  Chet and Carol are fairly friendly for a divorcing couple but Chet is still upset when Carol buys a ticket for the cruise and ends up staying in the cabin across the hall from him and Kim.  Soon, Carol is stopping by constantly and telling Chet about a man that she’s been flirting with.  Eventually, Chet realizes that he doesn’t want to get a divorce and he and Carol get back together.  That really sucks for Kim, who is surprisingly tolerant of being followed around by her boyfriend’s wife.  This storyline really did leave a sour aftertaste.  Chet was a jerk and Kim deserved better.

Finally, Ed “Flash” Taylor (Milton Berle) and Jack McTigue (Alan Hale, Jr.) were both boxers in their youth.  They fought one legendary fight, in which they not only beat the Hell out of each other but also knocked out the referee.  Now, they are both cruise line executives and they both end up on their boat at the same time.  As soon as they see each other, their rivalry reignites and they prepare for a rematch on the boat.  When Captain Stubing tries to stop the fight, he is accidentally knocked out by the two boxers.  Somehow, this leads to peace between Ed and Jack and not to Captain Stubing suing his bosses for punching him.  Seriously, the Love Boat is floating HR nightmare.

This was an okay episode, largely due to Gopher’s unexpectedly sad story.  The other two stories were just goofy but, when it comes to The Love Boat, the goofiness is the point.