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Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life on the Street 1.4 “Son of a Gun”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC!  It  can be viewed on Peacock.

This week, things get emotional on Homicide!

Episode 1.4 “Son of a Gun”

(Dir by Nick Gomez, originally aired on February 10th, 1993)

Officer Chris Thormann (Lee Tergesen), a patrol officer who is friendly with the Homicide detectives and who is a bit of protegee to Steve Crosetti, has been shot.  While Thormann lies in surgery with a bullet in his brain, his wife (Edie Falco, in one of her first television appearances) waits for news from the doctors and tries to avoid the members of the callous press.  Crosetti demands to be put in charge of the investigation into Thormann’s shooting and when Giardello points out, quite correctly, that Crosetti is too close to the victim to be objective, Crosetti strips down to his boxers and shows Giardello the scars left behind by every time that he’s been shot.

It’s an odd scene, one that seems to come out of nowhere in an episode that, up until that moment, had been pretty serious.  Kotto does a great job of capturing Giardello’s horror as Crosetti drops his pants.  It’s obvious that this is not the first time that Crosetti has shown off his scars to get assigned to a certain case.  It’s a scene that shouldn’t work but it does work because not only is it well-acted by Yaphet Kotto and Jon Polito but it also captures the insanity of being a homicide detective.  Just four episodes in, Homicide has already shown that it can be a funny show but the humor is rooted in the darkest corners of the human experience.  To survive as a homicide detective, you have to harden yourself to the point of being callous and you have to be able to see the humor in just about everything.  Crosetti, with his constant analysis of the Lincoln assassination and his inventory of bullet scars, may seem crazy but actually, he’s doing what he has to do to survive.

The episode ends with Thormann alive but in a coma and possibly brain-damaged.  And it ends with the shooter still at large.  Crosetti has received an anonymous tip from someone saying that the killer was a man named Alfred Smith.  But who knows if that’s true.

The Adeena Watson case remains open, as well.  Bayliss and Pembleton are still struggling to figure out how to work together.  Bayliss is too obsessed with the case.  Pembleton is too determined to show up the new guy.  A raid on the apartment where it’s believed Adeena was murdered turns up nothing but more evidence of human misery.  That said, a cheerful guy (played by Paul Schulze) who claims to be an agent for hitmen does give up several of his clients, allowing Howard and Felton to close even more cases.  Even Calpurnia Church (Mary Jefferson), the “black widow” from the pilot, is finally arrested due to the agent’s testimony.

Finally, Stanley Bolander goes on his first date with Dr. Blythe.  Before going on his date, he meets his neighbor, Larry Molera (Luis Guzman).  Larry is a carpenter.  He’s built a coffin that is currently sitting in living room.  Bolander’s date goes well but the nervous Bolander turns down Blythe’s offer to go back to her place with her.  Bolander returns to his apartment, where he discovers that Larry is dead and lying in his coffin.  (Much, who was called when Larry’s body was discovered, is shocked to see Bolander.  Bolander is not happy that Much now knows where he lives.)  Larry’s death inspires Boland to return to Dr. Blythe’s apartment.

This was an emotional episode.  Thormann is clinging to his life while his wife and Crosetti wait for him to wake up.  The recently divorced Bolander finally found the courage to go out with Dr. Blythe.  Bayliss appears to be so obsessed with the Adeena Watson case that he’s struggling to think straight.  This episode takes a look at the mental strain that comes from dealing with crime and death on a daily basis.  It’s well-done, even if it’s not quite as memorable as Night of the Dead Living.  (The stuff with Larry and his coffin was a bit too self-consciously quirky to be as emotionally devastating as the show obviously meant for it to be.)  If I took anything away from this episode, it’s that fate is random.  Officer Thormann has been shot in the head but he survived hours of surgery.  Larry seemed to be healthy but he suddenly died while Bolander was on his date.  Adeena’s killer may never be caught while Calpurnia Church was caught because of an initially unrelated investigation.  Some of the detectives are skilled.  Some of them are not.  But, in the end, they’re all at the random mercy of fate.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Check It Out! 2.17 “Chain Reaction”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, a wave of bad luck crashes into the store.

Episode 2.17 “Chain Reaction”

(Dir by Stan Jacobson, originally aired on February 15, 1987)

This is a bit of an odd episode.

For one thing, neither Jeff Pustil nor Gordon Clapp appear in this episode.  As Pustil and Clapp were two of the more consistently funny performers on this show, their absence is definitely felt.

Since Pustil’s assistant manager character is said to be on vacation, Murray is temporarily promoted to assistant manager and spends this episode wearing a suit and making smarmy comments that are totally out-of-character for him.

There’s a new cashier named Amy (Kathryn Rose).  We’ve never seen her before but everyone on the show acts as if she’s always been there.

This episode features everyone at a store getting a chain letter, which was an annoying thing where someone would send you a letter and tell you to send a copy of the letter to ten other people for good luck.  (It’s the sort of thing that was apparently popular in the years before email.)  Everyone at the store takes their chain letter seriously, except for Howard.  Howard sets his chain letter on fire.

Immediately after Howard destroys the letter, ominous thunder rumbles.  A fire breaks out in Howard’s office and Howard uses Edna’s sweater to put it out.  A terrible smell spreads through the store, chasing away the customers and forcing the health department to order the place closed until it’s gone away.  An old woman gets food poisoning from can of Pears and sues the store.  Finally, Marlene tells Howard that this is all his fault, Howard insults Marlene’s hair, and Marlene quits.

Marlene is later in an accident and taken to the hospital.  Howard and the gang (including the mysterious Amy) rush over to the hospital to check on Marlene.  Howard goes in Marlene’s hospital room and finds a patient covered in bandages.  Assuming the patient is Marlene, Howard calls her the daughter he never had and promises to rehire her and give her a raise.  Surprise!  The patient wasn’t Marlene but Marlene was standing behind Howard and listening the whole time.

It’s sweet but it’s also a reminder that Check It Out rarely made much effort to maintain a consistent continuity.  Just a few episodes ago, Howard went undercover to save Marlene from a cult.  In this episode, they act as if they’ve never had a good relationship.

This episode just feels off, to the extent that I wouldn’t have been surprised if it had ended with Howard waking up and realizing it was all a dream.  The absence of Pustil and Clapp is strongly felt and the remaining characters don’t seem to be acting like themselves.

On the plus side, this episode features Marlene’s best hair yet.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 10/20/24 — 10/26/24

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Wow, the story of Aaron Hernandez gets less and less interesting with each week.  American Sports Story got off to a strong start but, this week, I found myself watching the latest episode and wondering why anyone should care about Aaron and his problems.  Seriously,  I get that Aaron Hernandez was abused as a child.  I get that he struggled as a gay man in a hypermasculine, homophobic industry.  I get that he didn’t grow up privileged.  I’ll even agree with the show’s criticisms of the NFL.  But in the end, who cares?  As portrayed on this show, Aaron Hernandez comes across as being an idiot.  Beyond the fact that he played professional football, there’s nothing particularly interesting about Hernandez or his crimes.  He’s not a compelling character at all.

I was far more entertained by Hell’s Kitchen this week.  Gordon Ramsay and his terrified chefs are compelling characters.  Ramsay was in a surprisingly supportive mood this week.  That’s fine with me.  I like it when Chef Ramsay’s nice.  No one went home this week.  Yay!

Let’s see, what else did I watch this week?  I watched that old episode of Dragnet where Friday and Gannon went on the talk show.  I actually watched that episode several times.  It amused me.  Plus, the episode’s debate was a lot more interesting than any of the real debates that are currently going on.

I watched and reviewed Miami Vice, The Love Boat, and Homicide.  I watched a Halloween episode of Friday the 13th.  I watched and shared several episodes of One Step Beyond.  And, finally, I watched an episode of Dr. Phil where a man said his wife had run off with a cult.

And that’s it!  Most of my attention was devoted to horror films this week.

Horror on TV: One Step Beyond 3.23 “Justice” (dir by John Newland)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Tonight’s episode of One Step Beyond takes us to Wales.  A man confesses to murdering his mistress.  The only problem is that he has an airtight alibi for the time of the attack.  Everyone in his village swears they saw him asleep in church when the murder occurred.

Could the man be capable of being in two places at once?

Watch to find out!  And, as always, can you prove it didn’t happen!?

This episode originally aired on March 7th, 1961.

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 4.5 “The Sweatmobile”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, the Sweathogs share a story about the time that they all tried to buy a car together.

Episode 4.5 “The Sweatmobile”

(Dir by Norman Abbott, originally aired on October 9th, 1978)

Barbarino, Washington, Epstein, and Horshack sit outside of the classroom and look at the lunches that their mothers prepared for them.  Epstein has a liver burrito.  Barbarino has corn flakes and he’s happy about that because his mother is saint.  Horshack has peanut butter and prunes and he’s not happy about that because he hates peanut butter.

(For those trying to keep track of the fourth season’s already confusing continuity, this episode features Barbarino as a student at the school, even though the previous two episodes insinuated that he was no longer attending classes.  Even though Babarino now lives in an apartment by himself, his mother apparently still makes his lunch.  As for the new Sweathog, Beau is neither mentioned nor seen in this episode, which leads me to suspect that this episode was originally meant to air even earlier in the season than it did.)

Carvelli and Murray walk up to the Sweathogs and Carvelli taunts them by revealing that he was able to drive to a fast food restaurant for his lunch.  Seeing how desperate the Sweathogs are for real food, Carvelli offers to sell them his used car so that they too can actually get hamburgers.  However, the Sweathogs tell him that they learned their lesson the last time they tried to buy a used car.

Flashback time!

The Sweathogs all pooled their money so that they could buy a used car from Vinnie’s uncle.  Vinnie insisted that he would be the one who would drive the car, as he had the most experience in cars.  Everyone warned the Sweathogs about the difficulty of multiple people owning and using one car.  But the Sweathogs were determined to do it.  They arranged to meet with Vinnie’s uncle at the hospital where Vinnie works as an orderly.  However, once they arrived at the hospital, they watched as Vinnie’s uncle was wheeled in on a gurney after having wrecked the car that he was going to sell.  Vinnie’s aunt mentioned that his uncle couldn’t wait to cheat whoever was dumb enough to buy a used car from him.

This was an odd episode.  It was nice to see the original Sweathogs together again but the whole flashback structure felt strange.  Usually, a flashback means that the audience is about to see something that happened long ago.  But, in this episode, it appears that we’re watching a flashback to something that happened maybe a day or two ago.  In the flashback, Barbarino is working at the hospital, Gabe is vice principal (and away at a teacher’s conference due to the fact that Gabe Kaplan was sick of doing the show), and Julie was already Woodman’s administrative assistant.  As well, Julie has her terrible new haircut in the flashbacks.  This is all stuff that didn’t happen until the start of the fourth season.  Again, it’s hard not to feel that this was an episode that was meant to air much earlier in this season but, for some reason, it was held back and a flashback framing device was awkwardly added.

Fortunately, the original Sweathogs, despite being clearly too old to be even remedial high school students, still have the chemistry that made this show a hit during its first season.  Given everything that I’ve read about just how difficult things got behind-the-scenes on this show, it was nice to see them having fun and obviously enjoying themselves.  Though the episode’s structure was weird, this episode still presents viewers with one last chance to see the chemistry and comradery that made Welcome Back, Kotter a hit in the first place.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th: The Series 2.15 “Better Off Dead”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

This week, Micki’s in even more danger than usual as a desperate doctor uses a magic syringe to try to find a cure for his daughter.  This is also our final episode of Friday the 13th for October.  Can you believe Halloween is right around the corner?

Episode 2.15 “Better Off Dead”

(Dir by Armand Mastroianni, originally aired on February 13th, 1989)

John Cusack plays Lane Meyer, an artistic high school student who is stunned with he is dumped by….

Oh wait, sorry.  Wrong Better Off Dead.

This Better Off Dead tells the story of Dr. Warren Voss (Neil Munro), who lives in an isolated mansion with his pre-adolescent daughter, Amanda (Tara Meyer).  Amanda has a disease that makes her violent and dangerous.  She attacks almost anyone who comes near her, including her own father.  Dr. Voss believes that he has finally found a cure for her condition and, if he’s right, he’s convinced that he can cure all violent behavior.

Unfortunately, the cure is a bit extreme.  Dr. Voss starts out by bringing prostitutes to his mansion and then using a silver syringe to extract their brain fluid, which he then injects into his daughter.  This temporarily calms down his daughter but it turns Voss’s unwilling donors into violent maniacs.  Voss claims that he’s doing all of this for the greater good and he’s only using donors who would be better off dead.  But, as the episode unfolds, it becomes clear that Voss’s good intentions can’t hide his own sadistic streak.

The syringe once belonged to Jack the Ripper and, as you definitely already guessed, it’s a cursed object.  After a friend of Micki’s becomes one of Voss’s victims, Micki is herself kidnapped and becomes Voss’s latest donor.  When Jack and Ryan show up to save the day, they not only have to battle Voss.  They also find themselves attacked by Micki.  And Micki, due to the experiments and perhaps also due to the resentment that anyone would feel over having to put their lives on hold to search for cursed antiques, proves to be a fierce opponent.

Fear not, of course.  Things are resolved.  Micki is saved and, at the end of the episode, she is slowly recovering from her trauma.  Voss is attacked and killed by his own daughter.  Ryan wonders about whether or not Voss could have eliminated violent behavior if he had been allowed to continue his experiments.  Jack says that it’s not worth wondering about.  I agree.  Leave Micki alone!  Better the whole world suffer than one redhead be inconvenienced, say this proud redhead.

Director by Armand Mastroianni, this was a really good episode.  Both Neil Munro and Tara Meyer gave good performances as the doctor and his daughter and Robey, who has often felt underused on this show so far, got a chance to show off her own dramatic abilities.  As for the question at the heart of the episode, I agree with Jack.  The cost outweighs the benefits.  Friday the 13th deserves a lot credit, though, for seriously considering the issue.  This was an episode that was both creepy and intelligent.

Horror on TV: One Step Beyond 3.21 “Night of Decision” (dir by John Newland)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

In tonight’s episode of One Step Beyond, an important historical figure is consumed with self-doubt.  Fortunately, a spirit guide appears to give him the strength to keep fighting, even though victory will eventually lead to an even greater war.

Who knew George Washington was so neurotic?

CAN YOU PROVE IT DIDN’T HAPPEN!?

This episode aired on February 21st, 1961.

Retro Television Review: T and T 3.20 “Wild Willie and the Waves”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990.  The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, the second-to-last episode of T and T is all about the Czar of Canadian Surf Guitar!

Episode 3.20 “Wild Willie and the Waves”

(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on May 19th, 1990)

A fat bald man named Willie (Gordon Masten) walks into Decker’s gym and tells Turner that he needs helps getting into shape.  Turner looks at Willie and says, “That’s a lot to take off, brother.”  Willie explains that he’s planning on making a comeback.  “A come back from what?”  Turner growls.  Willy reveals that he’s actually Wild Willy, the Czar of Canadian surf guitar!

T.S. Turner has never heard of Wild Willy but Decker is a huge fan.  He’s even written a song called Surf Cincinnati, in tribute to his hero.  However, Decker points out that Wild Willy died years ago in a plane crash in Brazil.  Willy says that his manager convinced him to fake his own death as a way to push up record sales.  Willy says that he’s spent the past two years lost in the Brazilian jungle.  (So how did he get so fat?)  Decker believes him but Turner is skeptical.

But, after Wild Willy tries to break into his old house to see his wife Francine (Terri Hawkes) and confront his manager, Big Steve (Nigel Bennett), Turner starts to change his mind.  Big Steve claims that this Wild Willy is an imposter but, after Willy is nearly killed by a miswired electric guitar, Turner does some digging and discovers that Big Steve is about to sign a record deal to release all of Wild Willy’s previously unreleased material.  “Willy is worth more dead than alive!” Terri exclaims.

Fear not.  It all works out.  Big Steve is defeated by Turner, Willy, and the power of rock and roll.  Wild Willy doesn’t lose any weight but he still makes a comeback.  He also steals Decker’s song and turns it into a hit.  Decker is heart-broken but Terri says, “That’s rock and roll!”  Hey, Terri — you’re a lawyer.  Maybe you could help Decker file a lawsuit as opposed to just making fun of the poor guy?  I mean, it seems like a good idea to me but what do I know?

This episode felt very familiar.  People were always wandering into Decker’s Gym and claiming to be someone famous.  The main problem with this particular episode is that Wild Willy was such an annoying and over-the-top character that it was hard to really care about whether or not he made his comeback or not.  Add to that, why is Decker writing songs about Cincinnati when it’s totally obvious that T and T takes place in Canada?

Next week …. it’s the final episode of T and T!  How will the saga end?

Bonus Song of the Day: The Love Boat, performed by Jack Jones

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

 

It’s not a horror song but, considering the amount of hours that I’ve devoted to The Love Boat over the last two years, there was no way that I couldn’t take a moment to acknowledge Jack Jones, the singer who sang the show’s iconic theme song.  Jones passed away on Wednesday at the age of 86.  But his voice will live on.

Now, let’s set sail for adventure….

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 2.22 “Sail Away”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee and several other services!

This week, Jonathan helps a novelist get in touch with his long-passed muse.  He also helps him repair his relationship with his grandson before it’s time to move on.

Episode 2.22 “Sail Away”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on April 2nd, 1986)

Two novelists travel to a remote island.

Frank Worton (Lew Ayres) grew up on the island and was inspired to write a series of paperback romances based on his love for a girl named Jenna.  Sadly, Jenna died when Frank was a teenager and his books were his way of trying to get continue their relationship, if just in his imagination.

Todd Worton (David Einser) is Frank’s grandson.  Todd writes 3,000 words a day and is very strict about his routine.  He’s never written anything as successful as his grandfather’s pulpy romances and he feels that his grandfather has never respected his work.  What Todd doesn’t realize is that Frank feels the same way about him.

When they travel to the Island, Frank starts to act strangely.  He moves into the abandoned house where Jenna lived and claims that it still looks the same as it did when he was a young man.  At one point, he thinks that he sees Jenna walking along the beach.  Is he going senile or is he being haunted by a ghost?

Or is he being prepared for death?  Jonathan and Mark are running a ferry service, taking people to and from the Island.  (I can understand Jonathan knowing how to do all of this, as he’s an angel.  But how does Mark casually go from job to job?  That man’s resume must be a mess at this point.)  Just as he did with Eli Wallach a few episodes ago, Jonathan is preparing Frank to move on.  By the end of the episode, Frank is boarding a sailboat and heading off with his beloved Jenna.  But not before Todd reads the last novel that Frank wrote about Jenna and Frank reads the novel that Todd wrote about him.  The two finally make peace and Jonathan, in voice-over, tells us that both books became best sellers.

Awwww!  What a sweet episode.  This episode is largely a showcase for Lew Ayres and he definitely delivers, giving a heartfelt performance as a man haunted by his past.  If you don’t cry when he gets on that boat, you don’t have a heart and you might want to get that checked out.  You need a heart to live or so they tell me.

In the end, this is an episode that will make you want to sail away.  And while Highway to Heaven has never exactly been known as a subtle show (and I imagine that was by design), I am somewhat impressed at the restraint it must have taken to not include Styx’s Come Sail Away on the soundtrack.