1958’s War of the Satellites opens with a tragedy.

The United Nations is leading the way in humanity’s attempt to explore space.  Unfortunately, ten manned spaceships (or “satellites” as they’re called in this film) all run into the same problem.  There’s a “space barrier” around the Earth, one that traps any ship that flies into it.  On Earth, Dr. Pol Van Ponder (Richard Devon) is forced to remotely blow up both the ships and the UN’s astronauts.  It looks like the the UN’s space program is coming to an end.

Or, at least, it does until an unseen group of aliens drop a missile on Earth.  The missile, when it’s discovered by two “teenagers” who appear to be in their 30s, doesn’t explode.  Instead, it simply carries a message.  Don’t try to explore space, the message says.  A group of snooty aliens have decided that humanity is not ready to leave the planet.  The message is read at the UN.  In a scene that warmed my heart, the American delegate replies that no one tells humanity what to do.  The aliens don’t want us in space?  Well, guess where we’re going, baby!

(Woo hoo!  I love my country!)

Unfortunately, Dr. Van Ponder is in a serious car accident and is killed.  Or, at least, that’s what everyone believes until he shows up at the UN without a scratch on him.  Van Ponder explains that he miraculously survived the accident and he’s now ready to lead the UN mission into space.  The UN takes his survival as a sign that Van Ponder is meant to take humanity to the stars.

Of course, the truth of the matter is that Dr. Van Ponder actually was killed in that accident and the man at the UN is not Van Ponder but instead just an alien pretending to be him.  A few people notice that Dr. Van Ponder is acting strangely.  He speaks without emotion and uses curious phrases.  When he burns his hand during an experiment, he barely seems to notice.  When he’s alone in his office, he creates a second duplicate Van Ponder so that he can be two places at once.  Everyone who suspects that Van Ponder is actually an alien ends up dead.  Once the satellite takes off, it falls to crewman Dave Boyer (Dick Miller) to not only thwart Van Ponder’s evil scheme but to also convince Sybil Carrington (Susan Cabot) that Van Ponder is no longer the man who she thinks she loves.

Reportedly, a day after the Russians launched Sputnik, Roger Corman met with film producer Steve Broidy and said that, in return for $80,000, he could have a satellite movie ready to go in 90 days.  Broidy asked him what the film would be about and Corman replied, “I don’t know but I will have the picture ready.”  Broidy handed over the money and Corman shot War of the Satellites over the course of ten days.  Corman also said that Broidy was so impressed with the film that he gave Corman an extra $500 to throw a party for the cast and crew.  Corman never threw the party.

As for War of the Satellites, it clearly a rush job.  The interior of the space ship is basically two rooms and a couple of chairs.  The idea of the UN having a space program feels ridiculous today and I imagine it probably felt just as ridiculous in 1958.  (We should have kicked the UN out of New York decades ago)  That said, I have to admit that I really enjoyed this film.  Richard Devon gives an appropriately off-center performance as Dr. Van Ponder and this film actually features Dick Miller in a rare heroic starring role.  Even though he’s playing an astronomer, Miller still comes across like a New York wiseguy and my favorite scenes are the one where he gives Van Ponder a look that just seems to shout, “What are ya talking about, ya putz?”  There’s something really enjoyable about watching scrappy Dick Miller play the type of role that would usually go to someone like Peter Graves or Kenneth Tobey.  In an interview, Miller said that he felt miscast as the hero because he was only 5’5 while Devon was 6’1.  But the fact that Devon is actually so much taller than Miller only makes us rooft for Dick Miller even more.  As played by Dick Miller, Dave Boyar becomes the type of underdog that you can’t help but cheer for.

The best thing about this film is that it loudly declares that no one, no matter how scientifically-advanced or snooty, gets to tell humanity what to do.  You want us to stay on Earth?  We’re coming for the moon!

No one puts us in a corner.