What Lisa and Megan Watched Last Night #62: California Dreams S3E3 “Budget Cuts” (dir. by Patrick Maloney)

Posted on December 28, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, my sister Megan and I continued to bond over episodes of bad sitcoms from the 1990s. Among those episodes was “Budget Cuts,” from the third season of California Dreams.

Why Were We Watching It?

I’ve been spending this holiday week visiting my wonderful sister Megan in Ft. Worth and, for the past few days, we’ve been bonding over the fact that she has almost every single episode of Saved By The Bell: The New Class and California Dreams on DVD.

(Personally, SBTB: TNC has a lot of nostalgia value for me but Megan claims that California Dreams was a “thousand times better” than either the original Saved By The Bell or The New Class.)

Last night, we watched several randomly selected episodes of both SBTB: TNC and California Dreams and, out of all of them, “Budget Cuts” is the one that really stood out.

What Was It About?

Much like the “Belding’s Prank” episode of SBTB: TNC, “Budget Cuts” is an episode that seems to take place in a high school that has an absurdly powerful student body. The school also has its very own radio station that broadcasts nonstop over the course of the entire day. I’m not really sure how this would work, since it seems like this would interfere with things like students going to and concentrating in class but maybe that’s just the way things were in California during the mid-90s.

Anyway, sleazy Sly Winkle (played by Michael Cade) is given control of the radio station and he promptly gives shows to all of his friends. Mark (Aaron Jackson) is a bitchy critic in the style of Addison DeWitt. Sam (Jennie Kwan) gives love advice to a caller who, in the opinion of both me and Megan, was just a guy wearing an ugly wig. Lorena (Diana Uribe) has a show that’s all about fashion. (Yay!) And Jake (Jay Anthony Franke) has a show where he tells people to “Shut up and listen!”

Anyway, the school board is making budget cuts and it appears that the radio station is going to be closed down! After being pressured by Jake, Lorena ends up locking herself in the studio and refusing to come out until the school board agrees to hear the student demands.

Somehow, this works and then, fortunately, Jake shows up at the school board meeting and OH MY GOD! JAKE’S WEARING A SUIT! The live studio audience goes crazy at the sight of Jake all dressed up and with good reason. The boy cleans up well.

But will it be enough to save the radio station?

What Worked?

Every teen sitcom has to have at least one episode where the show’s resident rebel makes an appearance wearing a suit as opposed to his leather jacket. This, of course, is because we all know that the most important thing about a rebel is that he should be able to clean up well. In this episode, Jay Anthony Franke cleans up very well.

What Did Not Work?

Four words: “Absurdly powerful student body.” Seriously. Between California Dreams and Saved By The Bell, California appears to be a state where teenagers are given the equivalent of diplomatic immunity.

“OH MY GOD! JUST LIKE US!” Moments

Both Megan and I agreed that we both identified with the character of Lorena, both because of her temper and her sense of fashion.

Though this episode of California Dreams didn’t actually feature the band performing, Megan and I still decided that we should start a band of our own. We’re going to call ourselves the Cleavage Sisters and we’re going to hire David Foster to write aggressively bland songs for us. Megan will sing them while I dance around the stage. It’ll be fun!

Lessons Learned

Sometimes, people don’t like to be told to “shut up and listen.”

What Lisa And Megan Watched Last Night #61: Saved By The Bell: The New Class S2E9 “Belding’s Prank” (dir by Don Barnhart)

Posted on December 26, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, as Christmas came to a close, my sister Megan and I continued to celebrate the holiday week by bonding over yet another episode of a bad (yet oddly addictive) 90s sitcom. Last night, we watched “Belding’s Prank,” an episode from the 2nd season of Saved By The Bell: The New Class.

Why Were We Watching It?

You can read the full details here but, long story short, I’m spending my holiday week in Ft. Worth with my sister Megan and Megan (because she’s the best) has every episode of Saved By The Bell: The New Class on DVD. When I learned this, I naturally became super excited because, when I was too young to know any better, I used to watch SBTB: TNC every Saturday morning. Anyway, for the past few days, Megan and I have been bonding over bad sitcoms from the 90s.

(For the record, Megan claims that, if she ever saw a single first-run episode of SBTB, it was just because she was waiting for California Dreams to come on.)

Last night, we watched several episodes of SBTB: The New Class but the one that made the biggest impression on me was the 9th episode of the 2nd season, Belding’s Prank.

(Before anyone asks, yes — we both would have rather been watching Django Unchained or Les Miserables but yesterday, it snowed! Needless to say, we were all excited to look out the window and see snow falling on Christmas. We had fun playing in the snow but there was no way that any of us we were planning on trying to drive in it. Seriously, we live in Texas, where 80 degrees is considered to be a cold front. We don’t know the first thing about driving in the snow.)

What Was It About?

SBTB: TNC was infamous for changing its cast of characters almost every season. When I first saw the show, the main character was Ryan (played by the adorable Richard Lee Jackson) but what I didn’t realize was that Ryan was actually the third main character. He was preceded by a guy named Scott and another guy named Brian Keller. Belding’s Prank is a Brian episode. When we first started watching this episode, I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to follow the episode because I didn’t know much about Brian (played by Christian Oliver) as a character. However, I quickly discovered that Brian had absolutely the exact same personality as Ryan (and, I assume, Scott) and therefore, it really didn’t matter.

Anyway, in Belding’s Plot, it’s prank week at Bayside! Brian is encouraging everyone to engage in increasingly elaborate pranks. Bayside’s principal, Mr. Belding (Dennis Haskins), thinks that it’s all a lot of fun. However, Belding’s assistant, Screech (Dustin Diamond) is concerned because there’s a new district superintendent and he could drop by the school at any minute. It appears that Mr. Belding has yet to meet (or even see) the new superintendent (which is kinda odd when you think about it) and when the superintendent does show up, Belding assumes that it’s a prank. The superintendent, meanwhile, sees that Bayside is in chaos and he promptly fires Mr. Belding.

This is where things get weird. The superintendent holds a school assembly to introduce the new principal. Since this is Saved By The Bell, there’s only about 20 students at the assembly. Anyway, before the superintendent can announce the new principal, Brian stands up and shouts, “We don’t want a new principal! We want Mr. Belding back!” Now, instead of suspending Brian for disrupting a school assembly, the superintendent replies that the students should have respected their principal if they liked him so much.

“Here’s your new principal,” the superintendent announces, “Mr. Richard Belding!”

Mr. Belding steps out on stage. The 20 students at the assembly go wild. So, was Mr. Belding really fired or was he just playing a prank on the students? Or did Brian’s words sway the superintendent?

Seriously, what the Hell’s going on?

What Worked?

Say what you will about this episode overall, it’s here that Dennis Haskins gave perhaps his best performance in the role of Mr. Belding. When Belding came out of his office and told the assembled student, “I’ve been fired,” you truly felt both the man’s pain and the disappointment he felt towards the entitled students who had just ruined his life. I may be wrong but I’m pretty sure that Haskins even had tears in his eyes as he delivered the line.

What Did Not Work?

Okay, let’s ignore the obvious flaws. I won’t go into the odd logic of the film’s plot. I won’t mention the fact that the student body at Bayside High appears to be abnormally powerful and influential for a bunch of public school students. I won’t even talk about the fact that Dustin Diamond is in this episode.

However, I am going to point out one of the most glaring continuity flaws in the history of this show.

As you may remember, in the original Saved By The Bell, Belding’s office was this tiny and depressing room with ugly wood paneling and a window that was never opened. Starting with the second season of The New Class, Belding got a new cheerful office. This office was much larger, much more colorful, and it had large windows that showed off the green campus of Bayside High. A good deal of this episode took place in Belding’s “new” office and, watching it, I couldn’t help but think about how much more cheerful Belding seemed to be now that his office was less oppressive.

However, if you’ll remember, there was a flash forward episode of the original Saved By The Bell that took place in 2003. This was the episode where a bunch of students gathered in the principal’s office so that they could watch a video time capsule left behind for them by Zach, Slater, and Screech. In this episode, it’s established that Mr. Belding is still principal of Bayside in 2003…

AND HE’S BACK IN HIS OLD OFFICE!

But that’s not all! When SBTB: TNC ended in 2000 (3 years before the time capsule episode), it was established that Belding was leaving Bayside so that he could take a job as dean of a college in Tennessee. It was also suggested that Screech (despite never having graduated from college) would be his replacement as principal…

So, what happened during those 3 years that led to Belding returning to Bayside and moving back into his old office? And why did Belding pretend like he barely remembered Screech while watching that time capsule video?

Seriously, this was really bugging me last night. Fortunately, it turned out that it was really bugging Megan as well. We spent about half an hour trying to figure out what had happened and we came up several possible scenarios, all of which concluded with Belding returning to California and murdering Screech in one grisly way or another.

Seriously, we had a lot of fun with it.

“OH MY GOD! Just like me!” Moments

None. Everyone in this episode was just too stupid.

Lessons Learned

It’s fun to come up with grisly ways to kill off an annoying character.

12 Random Things That I Am Thankful For In 2012

Posted on November 22, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

So many things to be thankful for!

Today is the day that I (and perhaps a few others) look over the past year and ask myself, “What am I thankful for?” I am happy to say that I have a lot to be thankful for right now. I’m thankful for my family, for my friends, for my readers, and for my love.

Believe it or not, I’m even thankful that I’m now 27 years old! When my family gathered together earlier today, I actually got to hang out with the grown ups! Seriously, being an adult was a lot more fun than I was expecting.

Traditionally, Thanksgiving is also the day when I do a post entitled “10 Things That I Am Thankful For.” So, here we go. As I stated previously, I’m thankful for a lot of things in 2012. Here, in no specific order, is twelve of them:

1) I’m thankful that The Cabin In The Woods and Sinister reminded me of why I love horror films in the first place.

2) I’m thankful for the Snarkalecs on twitter, the best group of people that a girl could hope to watch a SyFy movie with.

3) I’m thankful that this current season of Survivor is one of the best yet.

4) I’m thankful that someday, when I do have a daughter, I’ll be able to watch films like Brave and The Hunger Games with her.

5) I’m thankful that Richard Linklater directed Bernie and let the true citizens of Texas speak for themselves.

6) I’m thankful that Sarah Polley wrote and directed Take This Waltz.

7) I’m thankful for the TCMParty on twitter, the best group of people that a girl could hope to watch a classic film on TCM with.

8) I’m thankful that the final season of The Office is turning out to be a good one.

9) I’m thankful that Skyfall reminded us of why we all love James Bond in the first place.

10) I’m thankful that Branded eventually ended. Seriously, I was worried that film was never going to come to a close.

11) I’m thankful that The Avengers turned out to be a lot more fun than even I was expecting.

12) I’m thankful that even a generally disappointing film year can still see the release of films like Life of Pi and The Master.

What do you think, Trailer Kitties?

Don’t worry, kitties! Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Film Trailers will return next week!

Happy Thanksgiving!

What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night #55 (Horror Edition): South Park S16E12 — A Nightmare On Face Time

Posted on October 25, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, like all good people, I turned over to Comedy and I caught the annual South Park Halloween episode.

Why Was I Watching It?

Because it was South Park, of course!

What Was It About?

It’s Halloween in South Park and Randy Marsh has just spent $10,000 to buy the deserted Blockbuster Video Store. Randy drags his family down to their new store and puts them to work, sorting films left over from the late 90s and the early 21st Century. Despite getting absolutely no costumers (and the fact that the theme from Kubrick’s The Shining keeps playing in the background), Randy remains convinced that DVD rental remains the way of the future. Even though his family doubts him, Randy finds some comfort with the ghosts who live in the Blockbuster and who encourage him to go on a Jack Nicholsonesque rampage.

Meanwhile, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman have come up with the perfect plan for Halloween. Each one of them is going to dress up like a member of the Avengers and, as a group, win the town’s costume contest. However, when Stan is forbidden to leave the Blockbuster by an increasingly insane Randy, Kyle is forced to use Face Time on his and Stan’s Ipads so that Stan can literally be in two places at once. Cartman, meanwhile, has to deal with the fact that everyone in town thinks that he’s wearing a green Honey Boo Boo costume.

While out trick or treating, the boys come across a group of criminals who are robbing Redbox kiosks. The criminals, already frustrated by the fact that nobody uses Redbox anymore, end up kidnapping Kyle’s Ipad and make plans to capture the rest of the kids at the South Park Monster Mash (which we are assured is a “graveyard smash.”)

What Worked?

Was this the best Halloween episode of South Park ever? Well, I don’t know if I’d go that far but it was definitely one of the best. From the minute that the familiar and ominous music from The Shining started up, I knew that I was going to love this episode.

Among my many favorite moments of this episode:

Randy watching Ted.

The cops talking about how the monster mash is a graveyard smash.

“I’m not Bruce Vilanch!”

“Kids, come look at the green Honey Boo Boo…”

What Did Not Work:

The episode itself was about as close to perfect as one could hope for. Despite this, the hispster Toadsuckers at the A.V. Club still gave it a mixed review. Perhaps if the episode had featured a reference or two to Arrested Development, the A.V. Club folks would have been kinder to it.

“OH MY GOD! Just like me!” Moments

Unfortunately, nobody dressed up as The Black Widow for Halloween, which essentially prevented the entire episode from being a “OH MY GOD! Just like me!” moment.

I was 12 years old when my family first moved back to Dallas and there was a Blockbuster Video located just a few blocks from our apartment. A few months later, we moved to a house in the suburbs and, while it was quite different from living in an apartment in the ghetto, one thing remained the same — we still lived near a Blockbuster. Seriously, it was so much fun going down there and looking at all the movies that were available and I can still remember how heated the discussions used to get between me and my sister Erin as we debated which R-rated movie we should try to talk our mom into renting for us.

(“Oh, mom,” I’d say, “they rate everything R nowadays, it doesn’t mean anything…”)

Perhaps that’s why, even in this time of Netflix and Hulu and streaming movies online and all the rest, I still love the idea of owning actual DVDs, Blu-rays, and even the occasional VHS tape.

I recently had a chance to drive by one of those old Blockbuster stores. It’s a dollar store now and, while it sells a lot of stuff, there’s not a movie to be found. Boo hoo.

(Seriously, it was kinda depressing.)

Lessons Learned:

Things change.

The Name’s Bond, Jimmy Bond: Casino Royale (1954)

Posted on October 16, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Hi there! On November 9th (which just happens to be my birthday, by the way), the latest James Bond film will opening here in the States. The early reviews of Skyfall have been nothing sort of amazing, with several critics declaring it to be the best Bond film ever. Well, time will tell. The fact of the matter is that many of those same critics said the exact same thing about Quantum of Solace before it was actually released.

That said, the James Bond franchise seems to be one of the few things that everyone on this planet has in common. It seems that everyone has seen (and loved) at least one Bond film. There’s a reason why Skyfall is going to be the number one film in the world despite having a totally generic title. For over 50 years, people have loved Bond.

Here at the Shattered Lens, we’re observing the 50th anniversary of the James Bond franchise by reviewing every single James Bond film that’s ever been made. In the days leading up to the American release of Skyfall, we’ll be taking a look at every single adventure that the cinematic James Bond has had. Everything from the good to the bad to the ugly.

Everyone knows that Sean Connery made his debut of James Bond in 1962’s Dr. No but what they may not know is that Sean Connery was not the first actor to play James Bond. James Bond made his first appearance 8 years earlier when an American television show called Climax! presented a 48-minute adaptation of Ian Fleming’s first Bond novel, Casino Royale.

In this version of Climax!, James Bond was known as Jimmy Bond and he was about as American as you can get. (Felix Leiter, meanwhile, was now English and named Clarence Leiter). Jimmy Bond was played by Barry Nelson, an actor who is probably best known for playing the blandly friendly hotel manager in Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining. Casino Royale’s villain, Le Chiffre, was played by none other than Peter Lorre.

This version of Casino Royale was initially meant to serve as a pilot for a weekly television series but, perhaps fortunately, the Climax version of Casino Royale didn’t get much attention when it was originally aired. According to Sinclair McKay’s authoritative Bond book, The Man With The Golden Touch, this version of Casino Royale was forgotten about until a copy of it was discovered in the 1980s. By that time, of course, everyone knew that James Bond was English and that Felix Leiter was American.

Thanks to YouTube, I’ve seen the Climax! Casino Royale and it’s a curiosity. If Dr. No hadn’t launched the James Bond film franchise, there would be little reason to watch this version of Casino Royale. It moves a bit slowly, is way too stagey, and it reveals that, contrary to what we’ve all heard, live television was not always the greatest thing on the planet. Not surprisingly, this adaptation contains none of the brutality or the moral ambiguity that makes Fleming’s novel such a fun read. American television audiences would not see Jimmy Bond strapped naked to a chair and an American television show would never end with the hero saying, “The bitch is dead.” The best you can say about this version of Casino Royale is that Peter Lorre makes for a good villain (in fact, of the three versions of Casino Royale, the television version is the only one to feature an effective Le Chiffre) and Barry Nelson would have made a good Felix Leiter.

That said, I still find the television version of Casino Royale to be fascinating from a historical point of view. This is the type of show that you watch for curiosity value. This is the type of show that you watch so that you can think about how different things could have been.

So, presented for your viewing pleasure, here’s the original version of Casino Royale:

Coming tomorrow: The James Bond film franchise gets off to its proper start with … Dr. No!

What Lisa Watched Last Night #52: Boy Meets World S5E17 “And Then There Was Shawn” (dir by Jeff McCracken)

Posted on October 13, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, my BFF Evelyn and I watched the infamous “And Then There Was Shawn” episode of the old ABC sitcom Boy Meets World.

Why Were We Watching It?

We were watching it because it’s October and we both had Halloween on the mind. Of course, according to the Boy Meets World wikia — and yes, I am as shocked as you to discover that such a thing exists — this episode actually originally aired on February 27th, 1998 so, technically, it was more of a belated Valentine’s Day episode than a Halloween episode. But anyone who has ever sat through And Then There Was Shawn knows that this was so totally a Halloween episode, even if it did air in February.

What Was It About?

And Then There Was Shawn pretty much starts out the exact same way as every single episode of Boy Meets World: Obsessive-stalker Cory (Ben Savage) and frigid, self-righteous Topanga (Danielle Fishel) are having issues and the entire world is just so concerned about whether or not they’ll be able to get back together so that they can eventually get married at the age of 18. Cory’s friend Shawn (played by the very adorable Rider Strong) manages to stop talking about living in the trailer park long enough to disrupt Mr. Feeney’s history class. Rather then questioning why his entire life seems to revolve around a bunch of 16 year-olds, Mr. Feeney (William Daniels) responds by giving everyone detention.

So, Topanga, Cory, and Shawn are all in Mr. Feeney’s after-school detention, along with Shawn’s boring girlfriend Angela and a random student named Kenny. (It took me a while to recognize that Kenny was being played by Richard Lee Jackson, who I remembered from Saved By The Bell: The New Class.) Since this is Boy Meets World, everyone is using their time in detention to discuss Cory and Topanga’s creepy relationship when suddenly “No one gets out of here alive” appears on the chalkboard, written in blood.

And from that moment on, it goes from being a standard episode of Boy Meets World to transforming into being perhaps one of the weirdest episodes ever to show up in a family sitcom.

Soon, Kenny’s dead as the result of someone jamming a pencil into his head, Mr. Feeney’s dead with a pair of scissors in his back, there’s a creepy janitor stalking the hallways, and Cory’s cute older brother Eric (Will Friedle) shows up, along with Jennifer Love Hewitt. By the end of the episode, almost the entire cast has been killed and, of course, it turns out that it’s all because the entire world revolves around Cory and Topanga…

What Worked?

Over the course of the episode, just about every character on the show is killed off. Considering just how annoying most of the characters on Boy Meets World could be, it’s hard not to appreciate this episode’s determination to kill all of them off.

The episode, itself, is actually pretty well-written and clever. Unlike a lot of sitcom Halloween episodes, And Then There Was Shawn actually feels like a legitimate (and respectful) homage to the great horror films of the past.

What Did Not Work?

I’ve often wondered if the audiences in the 20th Century found the character of Cory Matthews to be as creepy as I find him to be in the 21st. Seriously, whenever I see Boy Meets World, I’m struck by the fact that Cory basically spends every episode telling everyone that 1) they’ll never love anyone as much as he loves Topanga, 2) that Topanga’s belonged to him her entire life, and 3) that everyone in the world has an obligation to think about him and Topanga before they do or say anything. In addition to that, you have to consider his oddly co-dependent relationship with Shawn, the fact that he looks nothing like anyone else in his family, and the fact that whenever he and Topanga have a fight, he yells, “NO! We’re not supposed to ever disagree because I love you Topanga and … YOU LOVE ME!” Seriously, what a creep! Fortunately, Corey is less of a jerk than usual in this episode but, all things considered, it’s still hard to root for that little psycho.

Finally, what was up with the Boy Meets World theme song? I mean, it’s awful but it certainly does get stuck in your head.

“OMG! Just like me!” Moments

To be honest, I find almost all of the regular characters on Boy Meets World to be so annoying that I’m almost tempted to say that there wasn’t a single “Just like me!” moment in this episode. However, I do have to admit that — much like Jennifer Love Hewitt in this episode — I probably would have found time to make out with Eric as well. Seriously, he was soooooooooo cute!

Lessons Learned

Sitcom love = creepy love.

Review: True Blood S5E12 “Save Yourself”

Posted on August 26, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(BE WARNED! SPOILERS AND PROFANITY AHEAD)

As I sit here writing this, it’s been about an hour since the 5th season finale of True Blood and I’m still trying to figure out how to start my review of the episode. Foolishly, I’ve got the finale of that terrible Aaron Sorkin male egofest, The Newsroom, on for background noise and I’m hoping that it ends with the entire cast getting staked and exploding into red goo. It’s only a distraction though from confronting the issue of what happened during the final five minutes of True Blood tonight.

Seriously — what the fuck was that?

Up until Bill drank what remained of Lilith’s blood, the season finale was playing out in a rather predictable fashion. Don’t get me wrong. It was exciting and there were plenty of good scenes but it all felt somewhat familiar and I was fairly sure that Eric and Sookie would confront Bill and Sookie would be able to talk some sense into him. I knew there would be some sort of macabre twist at the end because it is True Blood and all. I thought maybe Lafayette’s demon would pop up or maybe Roman would suddenly materialize out of thin air. What I was not expecting was that Bill would dissolve into a red puddle just to then suddenly rise out of the pool of blood as some sort of male Lilith. As Sookie so correctly put it, “Fuuuuuuuuuck….”

Though tonight’s finale was dominated by the fall of the Vampire Authority, there were a few other things going on.

First off, dumbass Andy is now a father as Maurella, the faerie he impregnated earlier this season, gave birth to four girls. Somewhat inconveniently for Andy, she did so at the exact same time that he was trying to explain the situation to Holly. Even more inconveniently, Maurella then promptly vanished, leaving Andy to raise the four babies. To be honest, I wasn’t really a huge fan of this plotline when it was introduced last week and I’m still not. That said, it could be interesting to see, in season 6, how all the show’s vampires react to having four new sources of faerie blood in Bon Temps. Especially since it now appears that humans, vampires, and practically everyone else is going to be very much at war with each other.

Speaking of war, the war for control the wolfpack was finally resolved during tonight’s episode and, not surprisingly, it was won by Alcide who not only defeated J.D. but killed him as well. A friend of mine e-mailed me during the show to say, “I know you ladies love this Alcide guy but the werewolves bore me shitless…” I have to say that my friend is right on both counts. We do love Alcide and yes, the werewolf storylines are never as interesting as whatever’s going on with the vampires.

And, believe me, a lot was going on with the vampires tonight.

Last week ended with Russell, having just feasted on a faerie, now approaching the faerie night club while Sookie and friends vainly tried to hold him back. Tonight’s episode began with Eric and Nora conveniently showing up and promptly saving the day by killing Russell. That’s right — Russell exploded into red goo. He’s dead and you know what? I’m going to miss him. Denis O’Hare brought such a wonderfully decadent sense of evil to the show and, to be honest, it was hard not to feel that he (and the character) deserved a better send off than just being killed during the pre-credits sequence.

I was probably not alone in hoping that the Rev. Newlin would be killed right alongside Russell but instead, the sleazy little toadsucker managed to scurry off and was missing for the rest of the episode. This, however, did prove convenient for Sam and Luna because, with Newlin nowhere to be found, that allowed Luna to shift into Newlin’s form and then try to walk out of the Authority HQ with Emma (who was still in adorable wolf puppy form). In the past, I’ve often felt that Michael McMillan has gone a bit overboard with his performance as the Rev. Newlin but he deserves all the credit in the world for his performance in tonight’s episode. Luna-as-Newlin was a wonder to behold.

Unfortunately, right when Luna/Newlin is on the verge of escaping on wolf puppy, she’s grabbed by a very angry Rosalyn. Apparently, the video tape of Newlin and Russell attacking that frat house has been released by the U.S. Government and Rosalyn drags Luna/Newlin downstairs to the media room so that she can do an interview and practice a little damage control. However, during the interview, Luna/Newlin starts to have convulsions and shifts back into Luna form. Before she apparently faints, Luna manages to tell the world that humans are being held captive at the Authority HQ. I’m not really sure what was happening to Luna, if it was a lingering effect of her having been shot earlier this season or something even worse. Fortunately, for Luna, she was saved from Rosalyn’s wrath by Sam who, having shifted into a fly earlier, flew into Rosalyn’s mouth and then apparently shifted back to human form inside of her, causing Rosalyn to explode into one big mess.

While this was going on, the Authority HQ was being attacked by Eric, Nora, Sookie, Tara, and Jason (who, oddly enough, is now having hallucinations where his dead, and surprisingly bigoted, parents talk to him). After killing every vampire that they come across and freeing Jessica and Pam (which leads to a Pam/Tara makeout session), Eric and Sookie go to confront Bill, who has just finished staking the final member of the authority, Salome.

And that, of course, led us to this season’s final scene — Bill being reborn as some sort of blood God.

So, is Bill now truly evil? Are Pam and Tara a couple? Is Jason going crazy? Is Luna dying? Can a war between humans and vampires be prevented? And who, in their right mind, would trust dumbass Andy with one baby, let alone four?

For answers to all of those questions, we’re going to have to wait until season 6…

Random Observations

Tonight’s unofficial scene count: 60.
I have to admit that I was somewhat disappointed with tonight’s finale. It’s not that it was a bad episode as much as it just really annoyed me that, after taking so long to reach this point, tonight’s finale still didn’t resolve or explain much of anything. Nor did it even really attempt to. That said, I’ll still return to watch season 6 so, obviously, tonight’s episode must have done something right.
Again, I was disappointed with how easily Russell was finally dispatched. I also wish that Rosalyn and Salome hadn’t been killed off as they were both interesting characters and I think the series could have done more with them.
I also felt bad for Chelsea, the receptionist. My sympathy is always with the receptionists.
Does Lafayette still have that demon inside of him?
Is Emma going to be in Wolf Puppy form forever?
I have mixed feelings about season 5 on True Blood. It definitely was not a season to use to introduce someone to True Blood for the first time. That said, I also think that this season featured a lot of really good moments and I’m looking forward to Season 6.
Hopefully, Season 6 will not feature any Iraqi fire demons.
I also had a lot of fun recapping each episode here on the Shattered Lens and thank you to everyone who read them! It was fun!
By the way, The Newsroom did not end with Jeff Daniels getting a stake driven through his heart and that’s a shame.

Trailer: Dexter Season 7

Posted on August 16, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I have to admit that I wasn’t a huge fan of the previous season of Dexter. Colin Hanks made for a boring villain, the secret behind the character played by Edward James Olmos was obvious from his second appearance, and, for the first time, Michael C. Hall seemed to bored with the title role. Yes, the sixth season of Dexter was a huge disappointment but it did end on a good note, with Deb discovering that her brother is a murderer.

(Of course, in the Dexter novels, Deb discovered the truth about her brother a long time ago. Plus, Rita’s still alive…)

The question is how will the show handle this change in Dexter and Deb’s relationship. (And will the show continue to explore the idea of Deb being in love with Dexter or will that be one of those plot points that will be quickly forgotten before it can do permanent damage?) Season 6 did not leave me with much hope for the future of Dexter but I’m still going to gife the new season of Dexter a chance and hope for the best.

This just-released trailer for the seventh season of Dexter gives us a hint of how the show’s new season might play out.

Review: True Blood S5E9 “Everybody Wants To Rule The World”

Posted on August 5, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(SPOILERS)

Tonight’s episode of True Blood saw the apparent conclusion of two storylines.

First off, do you remember how, two weeks ago, I predicted that the Dragon would turn out to be Bud Dearborn (William Sanderson)?

Well, I was kinda right. The Dragon wasn’t Bud Dearborn. Instead, the Dragon was Sweetie, the plump woman who Bud had taken up with since leaving his wife. We really didn’t find out too much about the Dragon, beyond the fact that she’s a bit on the heavy-side and she enjoys square dancing and, quite frankly, I felt a little bit let down by the revelation that, after all the build up and mystery, the Dragon was just a broadly drawn stereotype. It is true that, in the past, True Blood has effectively used stereotypical characters to make a bigger point but tonight, the revelation that Sweetie was the Dragon just fell flat.

I have mixed feelings about how the whole “Obamas” plotline was wrapped up during tonight’s episode. At its best, the storyline managed to show how prejudice is often the product of people feeling as if they have no power over their lives, no hope for the future, and that they need a scapegoat to hold responsible for their own failures. As well, I also appreciated that the show actually had them wearing Obama masks because, quite frankly, it’s the closest any show has come to poking fun at the President since the South Park election episode way back in 2008. It has nothing to do with the Obama’s politics or my own beliefs. I just happen to believe that all leaders, regardless of who they are or what they represent, should be frequently ridiculed.

(Aaron Sorkin’s Newsroom may get more critical acclaim but trust me — Aaron Sorkin will never have the guts to write an episode featuring a murderer in a Barack Obama mask.)

After a nice build up, however, it was hard not to be disappointed with how conventional and predictable the conclusion to the whole Obamas subplot eventually turned out to be. Sookie, with the aid of helpful spirits that happened to be hanging out in her bedroom, figured out that Bud Dearborn might know who killed her parents. She went to see him about it and ended up getting knocked out by a frying pan-weilding Sweetie.

When she came to, Sookie discovered that she was tied up and trapped in a pig pin with Hoyt (and I have to say that I cringed a little at this because I grew up near enough farms that I have first hand experience with just how disgusting pigs really are). Luckily, it turned out that Dearborn and Sweetie were the type of villains who can’t ever just kill anyone without delivering a lengthy monologue beforehand. This, fortunately, gave Sam, Luna, Andy, and Jason time to show up at the barn and save the day. It also gave Andy a chance to prove his worth as a lawman by gunning down Bud Dearborn.

Meanwhile, in this episode’s other major plotline, True Blood factories across the world are being bombed and both vampires and humans are in a panic. Tara, at first, suggests to Pam that they should stock up on their supply of True Blood but Pam informs Tara that they will keep selling True Blood and, once they run out, they will discreetly feed on humans. Meanwhile, the Rev. Newlin is condemning the bombings, despite the fact that the Authority is secretly responsible.

That’s right. The new Salome-led Authority has figured out that the easiest way to provoke a war between humans and vampires is to cause a True Blood shortage. When Eric asks Bill if he truly thinks this is a good idea, Bill replies that he’s not sure but that he does know that he saw Lillith earlier. When Eric and Molly, the cool techie vampire who is my favorite new character this season because she just seems so annoyed with everything in general, attempt to escape from Authority Headquarters, they are apparently betrayed by Bill. So, is Bill now a true believer or does he have a plan of his own? I’m betting on the latter.

Speaking of manipulative vampires, Russell and the Rev. Newlin paid a visit on the wolf pack where, after putting J.D. in his place, Russell proceeded to take Emma (in wolf puppy form) out of Martha’s hands and gave her to the Rev. Newlin. While I’m always happy to see wolf puppy, this development made me go, “Agck!” Seriously, Rev. Newlin’s perpetual smile is so creepy!

Along with the Obamas, another subplot concluded with tonight’s episode but it was a subplot that nobody ever really cared that much about so I’ll just say that Terry finally killed Patrick and the fire demon appeared to be satisfied. So, good for Terry and Arlene.

Random Thoughts and Observations:

I have to admit that tonight’s episode was not one of my favorites. Part of the show’s appeal has always been its willingness to go to extremes but tonight’s episode felt over the top even for True Blood.
I also felt a bit cheated that the scene that popped up in all the previews for this episode — Bill apparently biting Sookie — turned out to just be an elaborate hallucination on Bill’s part. It’s hard not to feel that the show didn’t play fair as far as that was concerned.
Tonight’s unofficial scene count: 45.
Performance-wise, this episode really belonged to Chris Bauer. Andy may not be the smartest character on the show but Bauer brought some much needed depth to the role on tonight’s show.
Though she only had about a minute of screen time, Dale Dickey continues to make a strong impression in the role of Martha.
I would have to go back and rewatch the previous seasons to know for sure but some people online are complaining that Bud Dearborn’s villainy seemed to come out of nowhere. Simply going by my own faulty memory (and please remember, I do not claim to be a True Blood expert, merely a fan of the show), I can see their point. The episode seemed to suggest that Sweetie was the one who brought out his evil side but still…
William Sanderson, incidentally, is one of my favorite character actors. He has a special talent for creating Southern eccentrics (which may be because he apparently is a Southern eccentric himself) and I have to admit that I was a little sad to see his character so casually killed off tonight.
“I ain’t gmail for dead bitches!”
“I may be like a week old but I ain’t an idiot.”
Only 3 more episode left in the season!

Review: True Blood S5E8 “Somebody That I Used To Know”

Posted on July 29, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Tonight’s episode of True Blood was memorable for many reasons but especially for being the directorial debut of Stephen Moyer. Moyer, who plays Bill and is married to Anna Paquin in real life, directs the Hell out of this episode and I mean that in absolutely the best way. Whether it’s the way that Moyer allows the camera to prowl restlessly through each scene or the hallucinatory feel that he brought to the staging of some tonight’s best moments, Moyer brought both a sense of mystery and an atmosphere of genuine menace to tonight’s episode. Those are two qualities that True Blood has occasionally struggled with this season and it was nice to see them so present tonight. As a result, tonight’s episode was one of the most memorable of the 5th season and I hope that future seasons of True Blood will find Moyer returning to the director’s chair.

Tonight’s episode also gave us what we’ve been waiting for all season: Naked Alcide.

Yes, apparently Alcide had moved on from his night with Sookie because tonight, we got an extended sequence of him having sex with his new werewolf girlfriend, Rikki. Rikki and Alcide talked quite a bit while they were doing it and I’m sure that they may have said something important but, to be honest, that scene was all about Naked Alcide.

Some people (though certainly not me — no never!) would argue that all this episode needed to be memorable was for Alicde to show up naked. However, some other pretty interesting things happened as well…

For instance, Luna turned into Sam! That’s right. While Sam and Andy were off interrogating the fat redneck that Sam captured during the previous episode, Luna stumbled over to the mirror in her hospital room and discovered that she had shifted into Sam. This was one of those great “WTF” moments and Sam Trammell did an excellent job playing both Sam and Luna tonight.

(And, to be honest, it never feels like a true season of True Blood unless something batshit crazy happens with Sam.)

That said, I do wish that tonight’s episode had done a bit more with Luna transforming into Sam. For all the possible ways that tonight’s scenario could have played out, the show was content to have Luna sneak out of the hospital and join up with Sam and Andy as they continued to track down the murderous rednecks. Eventually, Luna nearly collapsed (because, after all, she was in the hospital for a pretty good reason) and transformed back into herself while Sam held her. It was a sweet moment for the two characters but, at the same time, I would have liked to have seen a little bit more of Luna as Sam.

Speaking of the rednecks, they managed to kidnap Jessica and presented her to Hoyt as a “gift” of sorts. They handed Hoyt a gun and then, rather conveniently, all but one of them left the house so that Hoyt could murder his ex-girlfriend. Now, last week, I declared that Hoyt had managed to claim Andy’s former title of being the biggest dumbass in Bon Temps. However, tonight, Hoyt somewhat redeemed himself by not only refusing to kill Jessica but by helping Jessica kill the one redneck left behind to guard them.

Since the sun was out, Hoyt left Jessica behind in the house while he went to get help. However, even though Hoyt may no longer be the biggest dumbass in Bon Temps, he’s still a contender and he promptly managed to get himself lost. Finally, Hoyt managed to flag down a passing truck just to have the unseen driver pull a gun on him. I’m going to guess that the driver is also the dragon who was mentioned in last week’s episode.

The rednecks’ attempts to offer up Jessica as a sacrifice were paralleled by not one but two separate vampires on tonight’s episode. Pam invited Tara to feast on an old high school rival down in her club’s dungeon. Even more importantly, Bill drank the blood of a human girl who was offered to him by Salome.

This was an especially important scene because, up until this point, Bill has been a very outspoken supporter of mainstreaming. By his actions on tonight’s show, it would appear that Bill has now come over to the side of Salome, Nora, and Russell. Indeed, all of the members of the Authority were so impressed by the appearance of Lillith during last week’s episode that they’ve all pretty much abandoned Roman’s precious mainstreaming.

All of them, that is, except for Eric. Alexander Skarsgard had some of his best scenes of the season tonight as he brooded over the actions of his fellow vampires and argued with his “sister” Nora. Judging by tonight’s episode and the preview for next week, we appear to be heading for a major confrontation between the “born again” Bill and the always skeptical Eric and I, for one, can’t wait to see how it all plays out.

Speaking of vampires, Sookie and Jason went to the faeries to try to discover which vampire killed their parents. With the help of the faeries, Sookie was able to enter her mother’s mind and see the attack that led to the death of her parents. However, she couldn’t get a clear view of the vampire’s face and, strangely, she also found herself entering into the mind of the vampire. This sequence, with its frequent jump cuts and distorted camera angles, was perhaps the best evidence offered up tonight that Stephen Moyer should direct more episode of True Blood once season 6 starts production.

Meanwhile, Lafayette has finally gotten smart enough to start demanding some sort of money for continually allowing himself to be possessed by dead people. He charges Arlene $300 to perform a séance where they attempt to convince the fire demon to stop chasing after Terry and Patrick. The ghost of dead Iraqi woman replies that the curse will only be lifted if Terry kills Patrick or Patrick kills Terry. Patrick responds by running out of the séance. Seeing as how Scott Foley is only a guest star, I’m going to guess that, one way or another, Patrick is going to be toast.

And did I mention that tonight’s episode featured Alcide naked?

Because it totally did.

Random observations:

Largely because of the sequence where Sookie flashes back to her parents being attacked and killed, this episode ended up with an unoffical scene count of 57.
I really hope that Bill comes to his senses soon.
How neat was it when Sam turned into that snake?
Was it just me or was Jason really cute tonight? This has really been a pretty good season for those of us who love Ryan Kwanten and his performance as the well-meaning but occasionally just a bit dense Jason.
I totally related to what Sookie was saying about waiting in line at the bank. Jason’s reaction was adorable and priceless.
Only 4 more episodes left!