Review: True Blood S5E6 — “Hopeless”

Posted on July 15, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(SPOILERS BELOW)

I have to admit that Hopeless is not only the title of the latest episode of True Blood but it’s also the way I felt after watching the first 30 minutes. After last week’s exciting Michael Lehman-directed episode, Hopeless seemed to be moving a bit too slowly for its own good. However, once the show’s second half kicked in, I’m happy to say that the episode picked up the pace and it all ended with one of those wonderful (if, in this case, somewhat predictable) cliffhangers that we’ve all come to expect from True Blood.

At the end of last week’s episode, both Sam and Luna had been gunned down by a bunch of masked rednecks in a pickup truck and Emma had turned into an adorable wolf puppy and gone running into the woods. At the time, I predicted that Sam would live but Luna appeared to be dead. Well, tonight, I discovered that looks can be deceiving because Luna apparently isn’t dead. Now, don’t get me wrong. I didn’t want Luna to be dead but, at the same time, considering just how dead Luna looked at the end of last week, it was still somewhat shocking to see her being not only wheeled into the hospital but being totally conscious as well.

Anyway, with Luna recovering in the hospital and Emma having safely made it to her grandmother’s place, Sam volunteers to help Andy track down the masked men who shot them. Andy, at first, is reluctant to accept the help but Sam eventually convinces him and that’s probably a good thing because, as we all know, Andy is kind of a dumbass.

Sam and Andy’s investigation leads them to the same gun shop where, a few episodes earlier, Sookie had gone to purchase some tools to use to try to control the newly vampiric Tara. The same clerk that waited on Sookie is there to talk to Andy and, much like his last appearance, the actor playing the clerk goes totally over-the-top with his performance. Fortunately, he tries to pull a gun on Andy which gives Sam an excuse to shoot him with a crossbow and kill him off before we have to spend any more time listening to him.

As for the masked rednecks themselves, they don’t show up until the very end of the show, at which point they kill a vampire who happens to be draining Hoyt dry. Not realizing that Hoyt was a very willing victim, the rednecks proceed to “rescue” him by tossing him into their van. It was, at this point, that I noticed that one of the rednecks was wearing a Barack Obama mask.

Tonight’s other big plot dealt with — of course — the vampires.

At the end of last week’s episode, Bill, Eric, Alcide, and Sookie had finally found Russell and were preparing to take him in when Alcide was attacked by a werewolf. At the start of tonight’s episode, Alcide managed to rather easily defeat the two wolves and for that, I say “Yay!” because it gave the show an excuse to show us Alcide all shirtless and tough-looking. The Authority showed up at this point and took Russell into custody. Before Eric and Bill were returned to Authority HQ, they were ordered to erase the memories of Sookie and Alcide. While Eric erased Alcide’s memory (and took the time to tell him that he would, from now on, find Sookie physically repulsive), I got the feeling that Bill kinda faked it with Sookie.

(Regardless of whether Bill faked it or not, it took Sookie all of a few hours to not only fully remember everything about Russell and the Asylum but also to restore Alcide’s memory as well.)

Back at Authority HQ, Bill and Eric are hailed as heroes by Roman and the other members of the Commission. While Eric, being Eric, makes little effort to hide his contempt for the whole situation, Bill swears his loyalty to “mainstreaming” and, to be honest, goes a bit overboard while doing so.

Roman announces that he’s going to execute Russell that night and then grants Eric permission to speak with Nora. When Eric goes down to see Nora in her prison cell, Nora reacts to the news of Russell’s impending execution with a joyous smile. It soon becomes apparent why because, right as Roman attempts to administer the true death, Russell suddenly breaks free of his bonds and grabs him. Salome’s little smile as Russell moves in to kill Roman should erase any doubt as to who originally set Russell free.

At first, I assumed that show ended with Russell killing Roman but, as my BFF Evelyn pointed out to me a few minutes ago, we never actually saw Roman die. We saw some blood splattering on Russell and we saw Roman’s face twisting in apparent agony but we didn’t actually see him die. Hopefully, Roman will survive this attack because, seriously, Chris Meloni’s performance has simply been too good and too strong for him to be so easily dispatched.

As for the rest of what happened on tonight episode, Pam broke up Jessica’s fight with Tara and Hoyt was all excited because he thought that meant that Jessica actually did love him. When Jessica let him know that wasn’t the case, Hoyt replied by going out and finding that previously mentioned vampire to suck his blood.

(Seriously, girls, haven’t we all had a Hoyt in our life at some point?)

Meanwhile, Terry returned to Bon Temps and told Arlene that he couldn’t be near her because he’s got that fire spirit chasing after him.

Alcide decided that he wanted to be packmaster, after all.

And, finally, Jason told Sookie about the faerie nightclub and that their parents were killed by a vampire. Afterward, they went to the club themselves and it was there that Hadley not only confirmed Jason’s story but also explained that the vampire killed their parents specifically because it was attracted to the smell of Sookie’s blood.

Needless to say, Sookie didn’t take that news well.

A Few Random Thoughts and Observations:

Tonight’s unofficial scene count: 38.
Tonight’s episode moved a little bit too slowly for me. As usual, the action picked up during the final 15 minutes and the show ended with a pretty exciting cliffhanger.
Dale Dickey has been one of my favorite character actresses ever since I first saw Winter’s Bone and I’m always happy to see her bring her own distinct brand of Southern gothic to True Blood.
I was going to comment on the fact that Sam seemed to recover from being shot pretty quickly but maybe that has something to do with him being a shifter. That’s my usual excuse whenever something happens on True Blood that doesn’t ring true to me: “Well, they’re all supernatural.”
I’m usually not a huge fan of werewolf politics but I did enjoy it when Alcide and the packmaster had their little redneck confrontation. As always happens whenever I see rough but confident men trying to intimidate each other, my inner country girl squealed a little.
I also have to admit that I laughed out loud at the sight of Roman in his blue polo shirt. There’s just something oddly appropriate about a self-important bully like Roman wearing a polo shirt that is just a tad too small.
I hope that someday some guy says to me, “You’re way too pretty to not be stupid,” just so I can reply, “What’s your excuse?”

Review: True Blood S5E5 — Let’s Boot And Rally

Posted on July 8, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Oh my God. Where to begin?

After last week’s vaguely disappointing episode, tonight’s episode of True Blood was a triumphant return to form. Perhaps not coincidentally, it was also the second episode this season to be directed by Michael Lehman. As he did previously with “Authority Always Wins,” Lehman kept tonight’s episode moving quickly and managed to juggle the many subplots and characters with an ease that hasn’t always been present on True Blood in general or this season in particular. Along with bringing out the best in his actors (all of whom found the perfect pitch between comedy and drama in this episode), Lehman knows just how far he can push True Blood’s signature Southern gothic atmosphere before losing focus.

And speaking of tonight’s plot, after a season that has occasionally seemed to be a bit scatter-brained, True Blood’s many subplots finally started to come together tonight.

Let’s start with my Sookie, Eric, and Bill because they’re my favorites. When we last saw Sookie, she was about to get it on with Alcide and I was happily saying, “You go, girl!” because I had just seen Magic Mike a few days earlier. Well, unfortunately, thing didn’t quite work out as Sookie ended up throwing up all over Alcide’s shoes and then, if that weren’t mortifying enough, who should pop up in the bedroom doorway but Eric and Bill? It turns out that Eric and Bill have decided to go back on their “Fuck Sookie” policy and they now ask her to help them track down Russell. Though, by this point, Sookie probably wishes she could just get a night off, she agrees to help. As delivered by Anna Paquin, Sookie’s sarcastic little speech was definitely one of tonight’s highlights.

Accompanied by Alcide, Bill, Eric, and Sookie track down poor old Doug, the fellow who originally discovered that Russell had escaped. Sookie reads Doug’s mind and discovers that Russell was freed by a female member of the Authority. Though Sookie doesn’t see her face, Bill is quick to put the blame on Nora. Using a reluctant Doug as their guide, they track Russell down to a scary, old abandoned asylum. These wonderfully creepy scenes, where they searched for Russell and came across random, blood-drained corpses, represented True Blood at its best.

Eventually, they found Russell laying in bed and, instead of just killing him, Eric started to have a conversation with him. That conversation, however, was interrupted by what sounded like a wolf and Alcide apparently collapsing to the floor…

But that’s not all!

It wouldn’t be a season of True Blood without Sam getting into some sort of weird trouble and tonight was no exception. When last we saw Sam, he arrived late to a get together of his shifter friends and discovered that they had been murdered. On tonight’s episode, after he dealt with the police, Sam went to see Luna. While he talked to Luna, a group of redneck drove up in a pickup truck and gunned both of them down while Emma turned into a dog and ran into the woods. Sam appeared to have survived but, as the episode ended, Luna looked pretty much done for.

Meanwhile, Terry and Sgt. Devins are still up in South Dakota and the start of tonight’s episode found them tied up in the basement of their fellow vet, Bill Eller. Eller explained that, as a result of what they did in Iraq, they’re now being pursued by a fire monster known as an Ifrit. Terry believes Eller and Devins (who, the hotness of Scott Foley aside, is kinda turning out to be a real toadsucker) does not. It doesn’t matter, of course, because — as soon as they convince Eller to set them free, the Ifrit shows up.

As I’ve said before, I haven’t been a big fan of the whole Iraq subplot in the past because it just felt very predictable and obvious. And I have to admit that my fellow TSL contributor Senor Geekus figured out — long before I did — that it was going to be an Ifrit that was setting all those fires. But, I actually liked the direction that they took with it tonight. It’s still a bit too heavy-handed for my tastes but, at the very least, the Ifrit makes for an intimidating threat.

But that’s not all. Tara has a new job as a bartender and, on her first night at work, she unexpectedly bonds with Jessica but that bond soon falls apart when Jessica comes across Tara drinking Hoyt’s blood. Lafayette is still possessed and having to deal with Jesus’s disembodied head suddenly showing up. Jason can’t remember much about what happened at the Faerie “safe house” but he’s now having disturbing dreams about his parents. And Andy? Well, Andy’s still a dumbass…

A Few Random Observations:

Tonight’s unofficial scene count: 40
Molly, the cheerful girl who works at the Authority headquarters and who called up to tell Eric and Bill that they had been iStaked, is one of my favorite minor characters this season.
How cute was Jason at the start of his little dream tonight?
A definite highlight of tonight’s episode was Jessica and Tara’s conversation at the bar. I loved watching them bond and their discussion about how it feels to suddenly know that you’re different was a good example of how True Blood — at its best — uses vampirism as a metaphor for so many other things.
I have a feeling that Salome is actually the one who rescued Russell. If it was Nora, the show wouldn’t have any reason not to have shown us her face tonight.
No, the picture at the top of this post doesn’t have much to do with tonight’s episode but I just happen to like it.
There were a few good lines tonight but my personal favorite was Sookie’s “I’ve seen enough horror movies to know you don’t split up when you’re in a big scary asylum and there’s a crazed killer on the loose.”

Review: True Blood S5E4 — “We’ll Meet Again”

Posted on July 1, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Tonight’s episode of True Blood could very well have been called “Everybody hates Sookie.” Seriously, Sookie did not have an easy time of it for most of tonight though, in the end, she got to have drunken sex with Alcide so I guess things didn’t work out too badly for her.

But before we get to that…

When we last saw Tara (Rutina Wesley), she was torturing herself in a tanning salon. At the start of tonight’s episode, Pam (Kristen Bauer Von Straten) finally abandoned her facade of indifference long enough to save Tara and, as her maker, command to Tara to stop with the attempts at self-destruction. Though still reluctant, Pam has started to take Tara under her wing and accept her responsibilities as a “maker.” By the end of the episode, Pam was even bringing Tara a willing young woman to feed upon.

However, Pam had more to deal with than just Tara. Having finally been released from the Authority HQ, Bill and Eric go straight to Pam and demand to know if she told anyone about Russell. While Eric interrogated Pam, Bill talked to Tara about her new life as a vampire. For me, Bill and Tara’s scene was one of the highlights of the season so far. It was beautifully acted by both Rutina Wesley and Stephen Moyer and it was a nice change from the show’s often frantic pace.

Speaking of noteworthy acting, Alexander Skarsgard got his own Emmy moment in tonight’s episode when he released Pam from his control. He did this to protect her from both Russell and the Authority and tonight’s episode skillfully got every note of drama and pathos out of the moment that it could.

Meanwhile, Jason and Andy were invited to accompany corrupt old Judge Clements for a night out on the town. Of course, in this case, that meant going out to a deserted field and stepping through a portal that led to some sort of fairy-run Moulin Rouge-type nightclub. I enjoyed the sequences in the nightclub, if just because they were so decadent and over-the-top. Jason didn’t enjoy it quite as much because he ran into his cousin Hadley, who apparently works at the club. Hadley let it slip that the nightclub’s actually a “safehouse” and that Jason and Sookie’s parents were killed by vampires. When Jason had a bad reaction to that bit of information, both he and Andy are promptly kicked out of the club and back through the portal. Who would have guessed that faery bouncers could be that effective?

Speaking of vampires, Nora (Lucy Griffiths) finally breaks down and tells Roman (Chris Meloni) who the secret Sanguinista Chancellor is. It turns out, to no one’s great surprise, that it’s the little kid vampire, Alexander Drew. Roman promptly responds by giving Drew the true death and who can blame him? That kid was a smug, spoiled little brat and, for a little kid,he certainly made a big mess when he exploded.

Even with all that going on, tonight’s episode truly belonged to Sookie and Anna Paquin’s frequently underrated lead performance. The beginning of the show finds Sookie with not a friend in the world. Alcide is mad at her for killing his fiancee. Lafayette is mad at her for telling Alcide about Debbie. Eric and Bill are missing. Tara’s blames Sookie for her transformation into a vampire. To top it off, she can hear the thoughts of everyone in town and it quickly becomes apparent that all of them blame her for everything bad that’s happened over the course of the entire series.

Poor Sookie! Seriously, who couldn’t relate to that feeling in one way or another?

Lafayette, meanwhile, has one of his possessed moments and this leads to him attacking Sookie’s car. Later, when Sookie is driving home, her brakes go out and she ends up crashing her car. Shaken but unhurt, Sookie stumbles back to her house and does what anyone would do under these circumstance.

She starts drinking.

By the time Alcide shows up to tell her that he’s covered up her involvement in Debbie’s death, Sookie is totally drunk and soon, she and Alcide are engaging in perhaps the tamest sex scene in True Blood history. And to that, I say, “You go, girl.” It probably would have been better if a jealous Bill hadn’t been standing outside her window watching (and seriously, windows have blinds for a reason) but still, it’s about time something good happened to Sookie.

A Few Random Observations:

I apologize if tonight’s review isn’t one of my better efforts. I’ve been dealing with an onslaught of allergies and asthma for the past week and I have to admit that I’ve spent much of tonight in a sort of daze.
Tonight’s unofficial scene count was 35.
You’ll notice that I haven’t spent much time on Terry’s flashbacks to Iraq. That, quite frankly, is because that little subplot doesn’t hold that much interest to me. So far it just feels as if it’s an excuse for Alan Ball to indulge in some nostalgic criticism of George W. Bush and the Iraq War without having to acknowledge that Barack Obama has pretty much been pursuing the same foreign policy in the rest of the Middle East. I’m still hoping that the show does something unexpected with this whole subplot but, so far, it’s all been pretty predictable.
“How you like Bush now!?” was the epitome of a line so heavy-handed that it probably backfired. What made this line annoying to me is that it was hard to shake the feeling that the show would never have had the guts to feature soldiers committing a war crime in Afghanistan while shouting, “Yes, we can!” (Much less, “How you like Obama now!?”)
No appearances by the Rev. Newlin tonight but I’m sure he’ll play a big role in the later half of the season. I get the feeling that there was a lot of foreshadowing going on with Bill and Jessica’s discussion concerning whether or not Bill was still king of Louisiana.
Compared to last week, there was a definite shortage of memorable lines in tonight’s episode. However, Kristen Bauer Von Straten’s delivery of the line, “3 days old and she already has an eating disorder…” was perfectly delivered with just the right combination of concern and self-pity.
Anna Paquin’s version of the Pina Colada Song was adorable.

If I was the type to give out grades, I’d give tonight’s episode a good solid B. If nothing else, I was glad that Bill and Eric finally got out of the Authority HQ. I have to admit that I’m starting to wonder if Russell is actually going to show up this season or is he just going to be an unseen metaphor.

Time will tell.

Review: True Blood S5E3 — Whatever I am, You Made Me

Posted on June 24, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last week on True Blood…

After being captured and tortured by the Authority, Bill (Stephen Moyer) and Eric (Alexader Skarsgard) were on the verge of being executed by Roman (Chris Meloni) until Bill revealed that not only was Russell (Denis O’Hare) not killed but that he was now missing. Meanwhile, in Bon Temps, a newly vampiric Tara (Rutina Wesley) fled into the dark night while Sookie (Anna Paquin) and Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) watched helplessly.

This week on True Blood…

The majority of tonight’s episode was dominated by Tara and Rutina Wesley’s wonderfully angry performance. We opened with Tara wandering through the night, searching for blood and nearly sucking it out of the first unfortuante stranded motorist that she comes across. (“I got no problem with vampires!” the poor motorist protests.) Eventually, Tara ends up locked up in Sam’s walk-in freezer where she has dreams about attacking Arlene. (Like a lot of people, I went: “Oh. My. God” at this scene until it became apparent that Tara was just having a dream.) Eventually, Tara manages to get out of the freezer and, quite cleverly, breaks into a tanning salon so that she can expose herself to some UV rays. I guess that’s one way to express your self-loathing.

The main reason that Tara’s having a hard time adjusting is because she’s been abandoned by her maker, Pam (Kristen Bauer Von Straten, who brings such life to the undead), who refuses to have anything to do with Tara. For me, the highlight of tonight’s episode was seeing the continuation of the flashbacks to Pam’s origin. In this episode we got to see how, in 1905 San Francisco, Pam went to rather extreme lengths to convince Eric to turn her. Even better, we also got to see how Eric and Bill first met in Pam’s brothel.

Speaking of Eric and Bill, they’re still being housed over at the Authority headquarters. They’ve convinced Roman to release them so that they can track down Russell but Nora (Lucy Griffiths) is still being held prisoner and, while being tortured, she admits to being opposed to “mainstreaming.” Both Bill and Eric are seduced by Salome and there’s a great scene towards the end of this episode where they compare notes in an elevator. (Seriously, the vampire bromance between these two is always fun to watch and Moyer and Skarsgard always appear to be having fun acting opposite each other.) Of course, it turns out that Salome’s apparently working for Roman and was testing Bill and Eric’s loyalty.

Or was she? To be honest, I have a feeling that Salome has an agenda of her own…

The Rev. Newlin (Michael McMillan) also shows up in this episode. Apparently, the reason he’s been on TV so much is because he’s groomed by Roman to be the new face of vampire-human coexistence. Showrunner Alan Ball has been very open about the political subtext of True Blood in general and season 5 in particular and that subtext was pretty obvious in Meloni and McMillan’s scenes tonight.

Usually, I’m not a huge fan of obvious subtext for the simple reason that it’s often … well, way too obvious. In the past, I have to admit, I’ve felt that Ball — like most writers — is at his weakest when he’s hammering home a point. (That’s why I’m wary of this season’s subplot about Terry’s service in Iraq.) However, tonight, I thought that Meloni and McMillan both saved what could have been a rather heavy-handed scene. Both of them brought just enough of a hint of perversity to their lines to keep the scene interesting. Between Meloni’s barely suppressed rage and McMillan’s nervously insincere smile, their conversation was a lot of fun to watch.

But that’s not all that happened tonight!

Sookie finally confessed to Alcide that she killed Debbie. Lafayette was briefly tempted to serve poisoned gumbo and it appears that he might be posessed. And Jason met a woman in the super market which, of course, meant that he ended up getting laid. That woman, incidentally, was a former teacher and lover of Jason’s and promptly after re-seducing her, Jason apparently had such a change of heart that he was even able to resist Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) when she came calling later on that night.

To be honest, I wasn’t as big a fan of this episode as I was of Turn! Turn! Turn! and Authority Always Wins. Don’t get me wrong. Whatever I am, You Made Me had plenty of good moments and the script was full of the type of snarky one-liners that I’ll be repeating for weeks to come. Overall, however, tonight’s episode felt a little bit off, just a tad bit uneven. The final fourth of the show was genuinely exciting but the scenes leading up to it often seemed to alternate between playing out either too slowly or too quickly. I’m looking forward to next week’s episode and I can’t wait to see how season 5 plays out but tonight’s episode was just okay for me.

Random Thoughts and Observations:

Whenever I watch a new episode of True Blood, I always grab a notebook and I jot down what happened in each scene. I did this even before I started reviewing the show because 1) it was often the only way that I could actually keep track of what was going on and 2) I’m an obsessive list maker. Anyway, by my very unofficial count, tonight’s episode had a total of 33 separate scenes.
For scene number 6, I simply wrote down “Skarsgard shirtless.” Just in case there was any doubt where my mind usually is while watching True Blood…
How cool is it that Salome is the actual Salome?
I thought the scenes at the beginning of this episode, where Tara was on the prowl, were very well-directed and did a good job at capturing the disorienting nature of Tara’s new existence.
Much like last week, I continued to be impressed with the set design of the Authority’s headquarters and the contrast between the baroque upper level and the rather shabby lower levels. If nothing else, it provided a perfect reminder of the corruption that often lurks behind the benevolent facade of most authorities (including, it would appear, the Authority).
Most effective “Oh my God!” moment: Lafayette pouring bleach into the gumbo. I have to admit that, after watching Arachnoquake last night, I was hoping Lafayette would shout out, “Now that’s how you make jambalaya!”
After last week’s rather grim outing, this episode featured several laugh-out-loud lines:
“Can I hug you without you thinking about my boobs?” This was my favorite line in this episode, if just because I’ve often been tempted to say the same thing.
“And right now, I’m fuck buddies with the love of my best friend’s life. Who’s a teenage vampire.”
“These beans are as cold as titties in a brass bra.”
“My dick starts shouting, ‘Just shut up and fuck her!'” At least Jason is honest.
“Go back to dry humping each other and buying my overpriced drinks or get the fuck out!”

Finally, I’ll close with a quick prediction: By the end of this season, Salome will try to engineer a coup in order to take out Roman and install either Bill or Eric in his place.

Review: True Blood S5E2 — Authority Always Wins

Posted on June 17, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last week on True Blood…

When last we checked into the lives of the citizens of Bon Temps, Russell (Denis O’Hare) was missing, Eric (Alexander Skarsgard), Bill (Stephen Moyer), and Nora (Lucy Griffiths) had been captured by the Authority, Jason (Ryan Kwanten) was being pursued by the newly vampiric Rev. Newhouse (Michael McMillan), and Tara (Rutina Wesley) had been turned into a vampire by a rather annoyed Pam (Kristen Bauer Von Straten).

This week on True Blood…

Just judging by last week’s preview of “Authority Always Wins”, you would have been excused for expecting that tonight’s episode would have been totally dominated by Christopher Meloni, playing the role Roman, the head of the Authority. Well, Meloni doesn’t show up until the episode’s final 15 minutes but he totally manages to dominate every one of those 15 minutes. Even looking back on this episode in order to write this review, almost of all of my thoughts are dominated by Meloni’s intimidating and powerful performance.

Before Meloni’s appearance, the majority of the show was made up of scenes of Bill, Eric, and Nora being held prisoner and interrogated in the Authority’s headquarters. Whoever designed the Authority’s headquarters deserves an Emmy for set design next year and director Michael Lehman makes good use of the contrast between the baroque corporate chic of the upper levels and the grim and stark prison in the lower levels.

During one particularly harrowing sequence, both Eric and Bill are interrogated by separate Authority members. Both Bill and Eric are hooked up to machines that look a bit like Jack Kervorkian’s suicide machine and silver is slowly pumped into their veins. Bill’s wonderfully creepy interrogator asks if Bill is familiar with the Vampire Bible and then goes on to explain that, according to the Vampire Bible, God created Lilith first (as a vampire) and Adam and Eve were then created to serve as a food source. As someone who has long loved all the legends that surround the character of Lilith, I loved this little development.

After they are both interrogated, Bill and Eric are eventually brought before the Authority and it’s here that Roman finally makes his appearance. Stalking about with his hulking frame concealed beneath a perfectly tailored suit, Meloni totally owns both the role and the final fourth of this episode. Whether he’s bellowing in rage or coolly slitting open his own wrist without so much as even flinching, Meloni gives a performance in this episode that perfectly captures the aura of power that a character like Roman needs to be believable. I think the main reason why Meloni does so well here is because you look into his penetrating eyes and you see his cold expression and you believe — as you rarely believe with most other actors — that Meloni really could kill someone.

Speaking of killing someone, Roman comes close to killing Bill until Bill explains that Russell isn’t actually dead. Roman agrees to put off administering the true death so that Bill and Eric can track down and kill Russell. Another benefit of Meloni’s domineering performance is that seeing how scared Roman is of Russell serves to remind the viewer that Russell can be pretty intimidating himself.

The episode’s other major plotline dealt with Sookie (Anna Paquin) and Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) having to deal with the newly turned Tara. Pam, to no one’s great surprise, reacts to Tara’s resurrection by saying, “She’s all yours, kiddoes,” and then running off. Tara ends up spending the night tearing apart Sookie’s house. When she’s asleep during the day, Lafayette — who was the one who first suggested that Pam turn Tara in the first place — comes close to staking her but he’s talked out of it by Sookie. When Tara does wake up, she utters her first words since turning and tells Lafayette and Sookie that she’ll never forgive them. She then disappears into the night.

Speaking of newly-turned vampires, Rev. Newlin is now showing up on TV where, smiling in that creepy way of his, he gives interviews about his new life as a vampire and how he can be both a vampire and a Christian. One interviewer asks Newlin if he has someone in his life and Newlin replies, “Yes. She makes me very happy,” which would seem to indicate that, even in the world of True Blood, it’s more socially acceptable to be openly vampiric than openly gay.

Soon afterward, Newlin is confronting Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) and offering $10,000 to buy Jason from her. Jessica refuses and mocks Newlin with, “My dad is king.” Newlin smugly replies, “Not anymore.” This little scene makes me fear that somehow, in another episode or two, Rev. Newlin — who is preaching the same type of co-existence as the Authority — will end up as the new king of Louisiana.

It’s just a feeling I’ve got.

A Few Random Thoughts and Observations:

The power struggle with the werewolves continued to slowly develop in this episode. As I’ve stated before, I’ve never really been that interested in the werewolves but tonight’s episode had some effective black humor concerning the werewolf tradition of eating the previous packmaster. Add to that, Dale Dickey continues to be a brilliant character actress.
Though Luna would probably disagree, didn’t Emma just make the cutest little wolf?
While the show was dominated by Meloni, I have to give some extra praise to Rutina Wesley who did a great job tonight as a feral, newly turned vampire. The scenes where she hatefully and cautiously eyed both Lafayette and Sookie were some of the best in this episode.
Nelsan Ellis, who rarely gets enough credit for his work as Lafayette, also did a notably good job in this episode.
If there was one performance I didn’t care for in this episode, it was the performance of the guy who played the clerk in the gun store. I felt he went a bit over the top in his performance and was trying way too hard to be a redneck. That said, his overacting was nicely balanced by Paquin’s more humorous approach to the material.
While Tara was going crazy, Pam was having flashbacks to her previous life and the first time she met Eric. I have to admit that I’ve reached a point where I’m cynical about flashback scenes on shows that feature vampires. I’m always hoping that there will be at least one vampire who was not a decadent libertine in the 18th and 19th century. That said, I thought that Pam’s scenes were well-handed. If nothing else, Alexander Skarsgard looked good in a top hat.
By the way, how many viewers initially assumed that Eric was responsible for the dead prostitute in Pam’s flashback?
I’m not sure how much I like this whole subplot with Terry having flashbacks to what appears to be an Iraq war atrocity. The whole thing feels rather predictable and, quite frankly, whenever a character on a television show mentions serving in Iraq, you know that he’s going to start having atrocity-flashbacks within a couple of minutes. (It often feels like a cheap shot at the men and women who served in an unpopular war.) Hopefully, showrunner Alan Ball will do something unexpected with this subplot and prove my doubts wrong. That said, Todd Lowe’s sleep-walking scene was a definite highlight.
Finally, a correction. Last week, there were a lot of people (including, I’m sad to say, me) who went, “Ewwwwww!” as soon as Eric started making out with his “sister” Nora. As my BFF and fellow True Blood lover Evelyn explained to me later, Nora and Eric are not blood related. Really, it should have been obvious from Nora’s English accent.

If only for the introduction of Christopher Meloni as Roman, this was a good episode. If nothing else, it left us with no doubt that the Authority always wins.

10 Reasons Why I Hated Season 8 Of The Office

Posted on May 11, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Note: This post originally appeared on my new TV-related blog, What Is Lisa Marie Watching Tonight?)

This has been a truly depressing television season for me and it all comes down to one show. For seven season, I loved the Office. Even when it wasn’t at it best, it was still the show that I based my Thursday nights around. And yet, as I watched the finale of eighth season of The Office last night, I breathed a sigh of relief once it was finally over. Why? Because season 8 was not only the worst season of the Office so far but it was also one of the worst seasons of television that I’ve ever sat through.

Don’t get me wrong. I knew that this season of The Office (the first without Steve Carell’s iconic Michael Scott) would be a rough one. However, nothing could have prepared me for just how bad season 8 would become. Looking back over season 8, it’s a struggle to remember one memorable line or moment that made me laugh out loud. Instead, most of my memories center around being annoyed that the show that I loved could have possibly become so …. bad.

In the future, I’m going to write a post detailing how I would have handled the first post-Carell season of The Office. But before I write that post up, I want to take a few moments to highlight 10 reasons why I hated season 8 of the Office.

(And, believe me, it wasn’t easy to narrow it down to just ten…)

1) Andy Bernard

I have to admit that my heart sank a little bit when, during the Season 8 premiere, it was revealed that the show would now center around the character of Andy Bernard. Even before Steve Carell left the show, I always dreaded any episode that revolved around Andy. Andy, who started out as such a perfectly annoying villain in season 3, had developed into a rather pathetic and needy character and Andy-centric episodes were usually the weakest of their respective seasons. It didn’t help that Ed Helms — who is a great character actor — has a tendency to go overboard whenever cast in a lead role.

So, I knew from the start of the season that I wouldn’t be totally happy with Andy Bernard as manager but I had no way of guessing just how much I would eventually come to despise the character. Whether he was weakly pursuing Erin or cruelly dumping his previous girlfriend twice in one day or failing to sue Robert California for giving his job away to Nellie, Andy proved himself to be just as stupid as Michael Scott but also a hundred times more pathetic. It was impossible to root for Andy because so many of his problems were of his own creation. As needy as Andy was as a character, Ed Helms was just as needy as a performer and every time he showed up on-screen, I felt like he was begging me to love him as opposed to giving me a reason to do so. It didn’t help that the show’s writers devoted three or four episodes to having everyone in the Office basically spend half an hour tellings us that Andy was a great manager and we really should love him.

At the end of last night’s finale, Andy — after being unemployed for the last few episodes — got his job back in the least plausible way imaginable. Instead of firing Nellie, he gave her a new job and then he flashed that big, toothy grin of his.

Fortunately, for the first time during season 8, he resisted the temptation to break out into song.

2) Nellie

Nellie showed up during the second half of the season and essentially appointed herself as the new manager of the office. It was a plot development that made no sense and it was hard not to feel like the show’s producers were trying to force the audience to love Tate as much as they did.

Yes, the writers of The Office love Catherine Tate and maybe the audience would love her to if Nellie, the character she was playing, had any real reason for existing beyond the fact that the writers wanted to work with Catherine Tate.

Since Tate had no real reason to be on the show, it was hard not to resent the amount of screentime that was devoted to her. It’s also hard to look forward to the fact that it appears that she’ll be an even more prominent character during season 9.

3) Robert California

At the start of Season 8, we were informed that Robert California (played by James Spader) had somehow managed to talk his way into being named CEO of Sabre. We were told that he was a mysterious, charismatic figure who might be a genius.

Instead, he turned out to be just another inconsistent character whose personality changed from episode to episode until finally, he was revealed to be so pathetic that he couldn’t even handle Nellie declaring herself to be the new regional manager. In his first few appearances, James Spader brought his trademark quirkiness to the role but then, once it became apparent that show’s writers couldn’t be bothered to figure out who Robert California actually was, Spader pretty much gave up on giving a performance. Instead, he just became a name actor getting paid a lot of money to do not much of anything.

And yet the writers still insisted on trying to convince us that Robert California was an interesting character. The first half of the season was largely devoted to the character. We went to his mansion, we met his soon-to-be ex-wife, and we continually found ourselves wondering why the CEO of a Florida-based corporation was spending all of his time in Scranton, Pennsylvania.

Robert California (and James Spader) will not be back for Season 9. In the final episode, Robert California announced that his latest business venture would involve young women from Eastern Europe. It was an unfunny end to an unfunny character.

4) Kevin and Erin: Just How Dumb Are They?

This has been an issue for a while but it really became obvious (and annoying) as things got more and more cartoonish during Season 8. Erin and Kevin both seem to be stupid when the plot calls for it and just dumb when the plot doesn’t. It wouldn’t be so much of a problem if not for the fact that there’s no logic to their occasional stupidity. It’s never been firmly established just how stupid either one of them is and, as a result, their inability to understand the simplest of things feels more like lazy writing than anything else.

With Erin, this is an issue because this season was largely built around Andy pursuing her. For a plot like that to be effective, you have to care about the characters and to care about the characters, you have to see some sort of vague reality in them even when they’re threatening to go over the top.

As for Kevin — well, where to begin? Remember how, in the earlier seasons, Kevin seemed like he actually had the most active life out of the office of any of the people working there? He would show up with a jaunty little hat on his head and he would drop hints about being addicted to gambling. He was even the drummer in not one but two cover bands!

Now, he’s just another moron in the corner.

5) Angela and the Senator

Yes, we get it. The senator’s gay. It was funny the first four times that various characters went, “The senator’s gay!” but now, it just feels like a lazy punchline.

Wouldn’t it have been fun to see Angela and the Senator’s wedding? Seriously, this is a show that had a tradition of funny wedding episodes but, when given the perfect opputunity, the show’s writers ignored a chance to showcase one of the strongest members of the original supporting cast. Instead, Angela (and so many others) were just pushed off to the side so that we could spend more time with Robert California.

6) What Does Jim Have To Smirk About?

Seriously, the man’s stuck in a rut.

7) When Did Pam Give Up On Being An Artist?

Whenever I watch reruns of The Office, I’m surprised by how much I relate to Pam. That’s mostly because the Pam of the first few seasons seems to have very little in common with the Pam of the 7th and 8th seasons. Do you remember when Pam was an artist and, even more importantly, do you remember how great it was to watch as she finally started standing up for herself and following her dream during the first four seasons?

As I watched this last season, I thought about that wonderfully sweet scene from seasons past when Jim showed Pam the “artist’s studio” that he had set up in the garage. And I wondered if that art studio was still sitting in the garage, untouched since Pam has apparently decided to give up on her dreams and just spend all of her time obsessing on the people that she works with.

8) What do Ryan and Gabe do all day?

Like seriously.

9) Val (and others)

Seriously, what was the point of Val’s character this season? If you’ve watched the entire season, do you know anything about Val beyond the fact that Darryl developed a crush on her? I didn’t even catch that her name was Val until around her fifth appearance. Obviously, the show’s writers expected us to take some sort of emotional stake in Darryl’s attempts to woo her but they never bothered to figure out just who exactly Val was meant to be.

The same can be said, of course, of just about every new character on The Office this season. Can you remember the name of the woman who Andy dumped so he could (finally) be with Erin? How about Cathy, the girl who, out of nowhere, tried to seduce Jim and then mysteriously vanished from the show?

Admittedly, this problem didn’t start with season 8. Starting back in season 5, the Office developed a bad habit of carefully introducing and then randomly abandoning characters and plotlines. (Remember Danny, the superhot traveling salesman played by Timothy Olyphant?) However, it’s never bothered me in the past quite as much as it did during season 8. Past seasons at least had someone there to anchor the show even when the writers seemed to get distracted.

And that leads me to the tenth reason why I hated season 8 of The Office…

10) No Michael Scott

That, I think, pretty much says it all.

Ten Good Things That Lisa Marie Saw on TV in 2011

Posted on January 4, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Someday, I want to have my own tv network. I’ll call it Lisa Marie Television (or LMTV for short) and it’ll be like Lifetime but with the Lisa Marie difference. What’s the Lisa Marie difference? Sweetheart, if you have to ask, you’ll never know. El. Oh. El.

Anyway, as I wait for that day to come, I’m going to continue my series of posts on my favorites of 2011 by telling you about some of the best things that I saw on television over the course of the previous year:

1) The Goodbye, Michael episode of The Office:

So, this year, I’ve been kind of depressed because my former favorite show of all time — The Office — has been just awful! Seriously, don’t even get me started on why it doesn’t make any sense whatsoever that Jim Halpert would have recommended that Andy Bernard be put in charge of the office. Don’t get me started on how the show is now wasting some of the brightest comic talents available. And certainly, don’t ask me what I think about this newest subplot where Darryl is somehow suddenly incapable of talking to the new girl in the Warehouse. Seriously, I want to cry every Thursday night because when I watch The Office, it’s like looking in the mirror and finding a new wrinkle. However, The Office did have one genuinely great episode this year and that was, fittingly enough, Steve Carell’s final episode. “Goodbye, Michael” was a reminder of what made people like me fall in love with The Office in the first place and, as much as I hate to say it, it would have made a perfect finale for the entire series.

2) Sophia Shows Up On The Walking Dead..

…and Rick does what he has to do.

3) Nedd Stark loses his head in Game of Thrones.

Much as Sophia had to ultimately be in that barn, Nedd had to lose his head.

4) The Pouting Little Princess at the Royal Wedding

All together now: “Awwwwwwwww!” Actually, that would have been me if I was a member of the Royal Family.

5) Joel McHale as host of The Soup.

Seriously, Chris Hardwicke is cute in a funny, nerdy sorta way and Daniel Tosh is like the frat boy that you turn to when you’re drunk and depressed but Joel McHale is still the best.

6) South Park goes there…

…again.

7) The broadview security commercial featuring A.J. the homicidal lunatic

Okay, so this is actually about 2 or 3 years old and I don’t think I actually saw this on TV during 2011 but I don’t care. I love this commercial and A.J. is freaking hot! Plus, I love how everyone’s all like, “Who’s that?” and she’s all like, “I don’t know, just some random guy who showed up in my house…heh heh heh.” All together now: “A.J? A.J?”

8 ) Homeland

With Dexter giving us a truly awful season this time around, Homeland was the best modern-day drama on television. Claire Danes deserves every award there is for her performance.

9) The Amazing Race

Hands down, the best reality show on television.

10) Community

Dear NBC, if you fail to bring back Community, we’re done. I will leave you, I will cut you out of my life, and I hope you’ll be very happy with Whitney Cummings.

Give this man his own show!

Coming tomorrow: Lisa Marie’s top ten books of 2011.

What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night: Degrassi Episode 0815 “A Touch of Grey”

Posted on January 1, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Well, actually I didn’t watch it last night. Instead, I spent last night bring in the new year with my boyfriend, my BFF, my sister, and about two dozen people who I kinda knew or, at the very least, they seemed to know me. Seriously, it reminded me of that old commercial where every where this girl goes, everyone’s all like, “So, what color panties are you wearing tonight?” In my case, I was wearing black panties and this morning, I’m wearing red, white, and blue panties because dangit, this is 2012 and I’m proud to be an American, yes, I am! But anyway, what was I talking about?

Oh yeah, so I didn’t actually watch this last night but I did DVR it last night. And then I watched it this morning. Anyway, what I watched was the 15th episode of the 8th season of my favorite Canadian tv show, Degrassi: The Next Generation. The title of this episode: A Touch of Grey.

Why Was I Watching It?

Well, first off, it was Degrassi. Secondly, it was one of the Degrassi drug episodes. So, of course, I was totally going to make sure I got a chance to see it.

What’s It About?

This is the episode where Emma (played by Miriam McDonald) worries that her classmates view her as being boring. So, she tells everyone to call her “Blaze” and then passes out a bunch of pot brownies. At first, everyone has a great time eating the brownies and giggling and stumbling about. But, uh-oh, one girl gets so stoned that she forgets to take her insulin and slips into a diabetic coma. Will Blaze confess to the Canadian police or will she allow her cute boyfriend to take the fall?

What Worked

Any Degrassi episode dealing with drug abuse is automatically fascinating because Degrassi, on the one hand, took a lot of pride on treating the issues realistically but, at the same time, there’s no way that a teen show could get away with allowing any character to abuse drugs for more than one episode. As such, drug episodes of Degrassi have this wonderfully schizophrenic feel to them where everything starts out normal until about 18 minutes in, at which point THE WORST POSSIBLE THING THAT WILL EVER HAPPEN happens. In A Touch of Grey, we find out that handing out pot brownies will not only help induce a coma but will also lead to you breaking up with your cute boyfriend as well.

What Didn’t Work

It was Degrassi. It all worked.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments:

When I first went to college, my roommate used to call me “Blaze” too. In my case, though, it was either because of my hair or my temper.

Lessons Learned:

Uhmmm…hello? Don’t just go randomly handing out pot brownies like you’re freaking Martha Stewart or someone. That was the main lesson but as an extra, bonus lesson, I learned that you can apparently pin any crime on a devoted boyfriend. And thank God for that!

What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night: The Office Episode 0102 — Diversity Day

Posted on December 31, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched a classic episode of the Office: Diversity Day!

Why Was I Watching It:

Down here in Dallas, they show reruns of The Office twice a day on Channel 27. I can literally say that I’ve probably seen every episode about 20 times at this point and now, if I’m home at night with nothing to do, I’m more likely to see what’s on LMN. However, Diversity Day remains like one of my favorite episodes of the Office ever so, when I saw it was going to be on, I had to watch it.

What Was It About:

As the show begins, we find ourselves in the familiar offices of Dunder Mifflin Scranton. However, things are slightly different from the office we force ourselves to watch today. Kelly Kapoor is dressed conservatively. Michael Scott, with his thinning hair slicked back, is still in the manager’s office and, as opposed to being a somewhat docile idiot manchild, is just kind of a jerk. Jim and Pam are still cute and flirty (and Pam is still dressing like someone who actually works in an office). Robert California is nowhere to be seen and, for that matter, neither is Andy Bernard. In fact, we manage to get through this entire episode without anyone breaking out into song. Dwight’s pretty much the same, though.

Basically, Michael has offended just about everyone in the office by performing the infamous “Chris Rock Routine.” Corporate has responded by sending down Mr. Brown (a hilarious Larry Wilmore) from Diversity Today who leads the entire office through “sensitivity training.” Naturally, Michael feels threatened by this and so he decides to form his own company (which he calls Diversity Tomorrow because “…(T)oday is almost over.”) and leads his own sensitivity training workshop. This, of course, leads to Michael eventually getting slapped by Kelly when Michael asks her if she wants to step into his convenience shop and sample his “cookie cookie.”

What Worked?

Yes, Diversity Day is old school Office, back when the show was both incredibly funny and achingly sad too. It was also the first episode to be broadcast after the pilot and it remains one of the best episode of the Office ever. Whenever I catch these old episode of The Office in syndication, I’m always surprised to discover just how sweet and oddly poignant these shows were. Michael is truly a bad boss, the characters are clearly coworkers as opposed to being friends, and there’s none of the silliness that has come to dominate the show after the third season. One reason why the relationship between Jim and Pam was so special in those early episodes is because its made clear that both of them would spend their entire workday miserable if not for the time they spend talking to each other.

I think the main difference between these old episodes and the new episodes is that, if someone had suggested everyone who works at Office spend the weekend together at a Garden Party during the first three seasons, no one would have shown up. That is perfectly epitomized in this episode as all the characters find themselves forced to interact in an awkward attempt to celebrate diversity and mutual respect. The show works because Michael is so hilariously clueless to the fact that most of his employees would just rather work until five and then go home.

(If this episode was made today, Andy would end up pulling out his guitar and leading everyone in a sing along.)

This episode is also full of wonderful little moments and an observant eye for the details that distinguish a good show from a great one. Among my favorite moments: Dwight’s explanation of what a hero truly is (and Mr. Brown’s patient response of, “You’re thinking of a superhero.”), Michael’s cheaply done Diversity Tomorrow Video, and Pam finally falling asleep on Jim’s shoulder.

What Didn’t Work:

The episode itself was about as perfect as perfect can be but as I watched it, it was hard for me not to think about how different The Office is today as compared to what it once was. And that’s all I’ll say about that.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments:

I’ve always enjoyed talking about diversity training because it gives me an excuse to mention that I’m an Italian-Spanish-German-Irish American.

Lessons Learned:

Reruns are always better. Plus, if you are a racist, I will attack you with the north…

And Finally The AFI

Posted on December 11, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Finally, to close out a busy day on the awards front, the American Film Institute today announced their picks for the 10 best films and the 10 best television shows of 2011. As anyone who knows me can tell you, I love lists. Especially when they end in even numbers like 10.

Here are the AFI’s top 10 films, listed in alphabetical order:

1) Bridesmaids (Yay! Girl power!)

2) The Descendants (Overrated)

3) The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (Bleh)

4) The Help (Crowd pleaser)

5) Hugo (Yay!)

6) J. Edgar (Forgettable)

7) Midnight in Paris (Overrated)

8 ) Moneyball (Crowd pleaser)

9) The Tree of Life (Haunting)

10) War Horse (Spielberg)

Here are the top 10 television series: