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Retro Television Review: One World 1.11 “The Thanksgiving Show” and 1.12 “The One Where Sui and Alex Walk”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Fridays, I will be reviewing One World, which ran on NBC from 1998 to 2001.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

The Cast of One World

When we last checked in with One World, Jane was dating Ben’s no good brother and Ben was dating a recovering alcoholic named Alex.  How much drama will this all lead to?  Let’s find out.  After all, we’re living in one world….

Episode 1.11 “The Thanksgiving Show”

(Directed by Chuck Vinson, originally aired on November 28th, 1998)

The holidays are approaching and the Blakes are a family divided.

Cray is heading to Disneyland with a previously unmentioned friend, “Bobby DeVito.”  (I assume he’s a mix of Robert De Niro and Danny De Vito.)  Ben and Marci are throwing a charity benefit for the homeless at Miami’s hottest under-21 club, The Warehouse.  Offended that Ben is only using his benefit to promote his music career, Neal is planning on giving out food to the homeless on his own.  Meanwhile, Sui is waiting to hear whether or not she’s gotten a try-out with the U.S. Olympic team and Jane is worrying that the Blakes won’t have the type of big, traditional Thanksgiving that she’s always secretly wanted.

Sui’s an Olympic-class athlete?  Where did that come from?  And Jane is secretly obsessed with turkey and yams?  Again, it kind of comes out of nowhere.  But you know what?  This was actually a pretty effective episode and both Michelle Krusiec (as Sui) and Arroyn Lloyd (as Jane) gave good performances that convinced the viewer that yes, Sui could go to the Olympics and yes, under her tough exterior, Jane actually could be a lover of big family holidays.  And even if the benefit storyline was a bit heavy-handed, it was still heartfelt and sincere.  Sitcoms are kind of notorious for bad holiday episodes but One World did a pretty good job as far as Thanksgiving was concerned.

This episode ended with a cliffhanger as Sui was injured in an auto accident.  How would this effect her Olympics dreams?  The answer was in the very next episode.

Episode 1.12 “The One Where Sui and Alex Walk”

(Directed by Chuck Vinson, originally aired on December 5th, 1998)

Sui returns from the hospital and, saying that rehab hurts too much, she abandons her Olympics dreams.  But then, for some odd reason, Cray decides that he wants to play the harp and Sui figure that if Cray can handle everyone in the world laughing at him, she  can handle the pain.

Actually, I know that sounds like I’m being snarky but this was a pretty good episode and the entire cast really delivered, even when the dialogue got a bit heavy-handed.  Speaking as someone who has broken her ankle more than a few times, this episode did a very good job of capturing the fear and uncertainty that comes from recovering from a major injury.

Meanwhile, Alex left Ben because it was totally obvious that he’s in love with Jane.  And Jane left Bryan because it was totally obvious that Jane only liked Bryan because he shared Ben’s DNA.  Now that they’re both single, will Ben and Jane get together?

We’ll find out next week!

Horror on the Lens: The Night Stalker (dir by John Llewelyn Moxey)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

For today’s horror on the lens, we have a real treat!  (We’ll get to the tricks later…)

Long before he achieved holiday immortality by playing the father in A Christmas Story, Darren McGavin played journalist Carl Kolchak in the 1972 made-for-TV movie, The Night Stalker.  Kolchak is investigating a series of murders in Las Vegas, all of which involve victims being drained of their blood.  Kolchak thinks that the murderer might be a vampire.  Everyone else thinks that he’s crazy.

When this movie first aired, it was the highest rated made-for-TV movie of all time.  Eventually, it led to a weekly TV series in which Kolchak investigated various paranormal happenings.  Though the TV series did not last long, it’s still regularly cited as one of the most influential shows ever made.

Anyway, The Night Stalker is an effective little vampire movie and Darren McGavin gives a great performance as Carl Kolchak.

Enjoy!

October Positivity: Nite Song (dir by Russell S. Daughten)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Wow, Iowa’s a dangerous place.

The 1978 film, Nite Song, takes place on the mean streets of Des Moines, Iowa.  Pete (Bobby Hoffman) and his best friend, Joe (Tom Hoffman), are neighbors in the local tenement.  They also both play on the high school basketball team.  In fact, the only reason that this movie is over an hour long is because there’s about five minutes of slow motion basketball footage.

Life’s not easy in Des Moines.  The local drug lord wants Pete to work for him.  Joe’s sister is addicted to heroin and his father is out of work.  Joe has recently become a Christian, which Pete finds to be kind of strange.  Even stranger is that Joe often sits outside on the balcony of the tenement and sings a song called I Will Serve Thee.  Later in the film, another character will spontaneously start singing I Will Serve Thee while staring up at the night sky.  I guess that’s the “nite” song of the title but what’s interesting is that the film itself isn’t a musical.

Anyway, the local drug lord wants Joe to help him rob the local pharmacy.  Joe refuses so the dealer refuses to give Joe’s sister any more heroin.  Joe and Pete decide to start following the drug dealer around town, in order to gather enough evidence to find a way to stop him.  Unfortunately, that plan doesn’t really work out that well.  Joe ends up with a knife in his back and Pete is left to struggle with whether he should go to the police or just sit out on the balcony and pray about it.  It turns out that all of the other kids at the high school are also Christians, specifically because of Joe.  They decide to clean up the streets themselves!  Fortunately, that won’t be hard because there’s only three criminals in Des Moines and they all hang out together….

It’s actually probably a little bit too easy to be snarky about a film like Nite Song, if just because it’s a low-budget, amateur film about life and death in Iowa.  But actually, the film deserves a bit more credit than I’m giving it.  Taken on its own terms, it’s actually an achingly sincere and earnest film and, as opposed to a lot of other faith-based films, it never makes the mistake of getting preachy or being overly judgmental.  (The film’s sympathetic portrayal of Joe’s drug-addicted sister actually deserve a good deal of praise.)  Even though the actors are all obviously amateurs and the singing gets a bit weird, everyone brings a certain authenticity to their roles.  This is a film about Iowa that was actually populated with people who were from Iowa and yes, that does make a difference.

Plus, there’s something charmingly naïve about the idea of the high school basketball team taking out the local drug dealers.  All those weapons and tough talk prove useless against a 15 year-old with a dream and jump shot.  Nite Song‘s a well-intentioned film.  Des Moines has nothing to be ashamed of.

Horror on TV: Ghost Story 1.6 “Alter Ego” (dir by David Lowell Rich)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

In tonight’s episode of Ghost Story, a sickly child is upset when he becomes to ill to continue going to school.  Luckily, his doppelganger shows up and starts going to school for him!  Unfortunately, it turns out that the doppelganger isn’t quite as benevolent as one might hope.

This episode co-stars Oscar-winner Helen Hayes and was co-written by Richard Matheson.  It originally aired on October 27th, 1972.

The TSL’s Horror Grindhouse: Food Of The Gods (dir by Bert I. Gordon)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Uh-oh! Something weird has bubbled up to the ground on an island near British Columbia and a farmer and his wife (played by John McLaim and Ida Lupino) foolishly decided to feed it to their farm animals! Soon, they’ve got giant chickens! And listen, that might sound like a good thing to some but I’ve spent enough time around farms to know that giant chickens are not a good thing! Seriously, normal-sized chickens are messy enough. Giant ones? I don’t even want to thinking about it.

Unfortunately, it’s not just the chickens that are eating the food. Rats are eating the food. Wasps are eating the food. All of the animals are turning into giants and now, they’re hunting humans! After his best friend is attacked and killed by giant wasp, a football player named Morgan (Marjoe Gortner) decides to investigate on his own. You would think that a football player would be busy preparing for his next game or something like that but no, not Morgan! Morgan’s determined to find out why there are giant animals off the coast of Canada.

Of course, Morgan isn’t the only one interested in the so-called Food of the Gods. There’s also Jack Bensington (Ralph Meeker), who owns a dog food company. Jack wants to sell the food. Why would Jack want to do that? Does he actually think that causing dogs to transform into giants who would undoubtedly try to kill their masters is somehow going to be good for his company’s reputation? Jack’s main motivation seems to be that he’s a businessman and, in this film’s moral universe, that automatically makes him one of the bad guys. But it seems like even an evil businessman would know better than to kill off all of his customers.

This 1976 film, which is loosely (very loosely) based on a novel by H.G. Wells, was directed by Bert I. Gordon and, if you think the plot sounds a little ludicrous …. well, it is. Nothing about the film really makes much sense but that’s kind of to expected from a Bert I. Gordon film. Gordon specialized in making films about giants destroying stuff. The films were never particularly good but Gordon obviously understood that American filmgoers love big things. Food of the Gods, as silly as it may be, apparently made a lot of money when it was first released.

Today, of course, it’s impossible to watch the film without noticing just how terrible the special effects are. Between the unconvincing use of super-imposed images and the obviously fake rats that are tossed at some of the actors, there’s not a single shot that doesn’t somehow look totally ridiculous. In fact, it’s all so silly and obviously done on the cheap that it becomes rather charming, or at least as charming as the superimposed image of giant wasp ever could possibly be. You have to admire the film’s determination to tell its story despite not having the resources to do so. As for the rest of the film, it’s dumb but it doesn’t take itself too seriously. If you’re specifically searching for a bad giant animal movie, The Food of the Gods is fun in its own goofy, nonsensical, low-budget way.

Retro Television Reviews: City Guys 1.11 “The College Girl,” 1.12 “Bye Mom,” and 1.13 “Old Friends”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing City Guys, which ran on NBC from 1997 to 2001.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

Today, we wrap up season one of City Guys!  Can you feel the excitement?

Episode 1.11 “The College Girl”

(Directed by Frank Bonner, originally aired on November 22nd, 1997)

Chris meets Alison, a girl in a NYU sweatshirt and gets a date with her by lying about how old he is.  He claims that he’s an undercover cop.  She believe him because the episode wouldn’t work otherwise.  The next day, after their date, Chris discovers that Alison is the new student teacher!  At first, Chris tries to convince her that he’s working undercover to break up a drug ring and to prove it, he arrests El-Train!  Eventually, Chris comes clean and Alison dumps his lying ass.  You go, Alison!  Chris learns an important lesson about always being himself and also about how it’s never too late to apologize.

Meanwhile, Dawn freaks out when she’s voted the school’s worst dancer.  She gets Jamal to teach her how to dance.  This subplot would have worked better if not for the fact that Caitlin Mowery (who played Dawn) was clearly a better dancer than Wesley Jonathan (who played Jamal).

It was a pretty dumb episode but I did laugh at the fact that, even after the lie was exposed, El-Train continued to believe that Chris was an undercover cop.

Episode 1.12 “Bye, Mom”

(Directed by Frank Bonner, originally aired on November 29th, 1997)

Jamal is failing English so Ms. Noble tutors him by taking him up to the roof and explaining the plot of Romeo and Juliet to him.  This leads to Jamal having childhood flashbacks to his recently deceased mother teaching him how to play the piano.  When Ms. Noble has to go into the hospital, Jamal worries that he’s going to lose her and he’s forced to deal with his own unresolved feelings about the death of his mother.  For the most part, this was a heartfelt episode and Wesley Jonathan did a good job of capturing Jamal’s fear.

That said, this episode also featured an excruciatingly unfunny guest turn from Garry Marshall, who played the school’s vice principal and who didn’t leave a single piece of scenery unchewed.

Episode 1.13 “Old Friends”

(Directed by Frank Bonner, originally aired on December 5th, 1997)

Remember that video yearbook that Chris and Jamal were supposed to be working on?  Well, the show finally returned to that theme in the final episode of the first season.  With the school year coming to an end, Chris and Jamal are trying to finish things up.  Unfortunately, Mike (Victor Tugunde), an old friend of Jamal’s, has been released from juvenile detention and Jamal would suddenly rather hang out with Mike than with Chris!

Then the video camera disappears and guess who stole it!  Jamal realizes that he’s moved on from his old friends and Chris …. well, I guess Chris gets to know all of his classmates as he interviews them for the video yearbook.  The season ends with Chris and Jamal playing basketball on the school courtyard where they first met.  It’s not a bad ending for a first season, to be honest.

Next week, season 2 begins and Chris and Jamal go from editing the video yearbook to running the student radio station.  The city guys keep rolling.

International Horror Film Review: Orloff Against The Invisible Man (dir by Pierre Chevalier)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

In 1970’s Orloff Against The Invisible Man, Paco Valladares stars as Dr. Garondet, a turn-of-the-century psychologist.  One morning, Garondet is at his office when a mysterious child delivers a letter requesting that he travel to the castle of Prof. Orloff.  Apparently, Orloff’s daughter feels that her father is losing his mind and is in deep need of therapy.

The castle is located in one of those remote villages that always seem to be home to mad scientists and vampires.  As soon as Garondet arrives, he discovers that none of the villagers are willing to talk about Orloff or his castle.  Instead, they all fear him and, if the audience has seen The Awful Dr. Orlof or any of the other dozen or so films that Jess Franco made about the mad doctor, that shouldn’t be a surprise.

What is a surprise is that Franco apparently had nothing to do with this particular Orloff film.  Instead, Orloff Against The Invisible Man was directed by a French director named Pierre Chevalier.  Chevalier does direct in a very Franco-like manner, making frequent use of the zoom lens and often highlighting odd visual details that have nothing to do with the overall plot.  That said, Chevalier also direct with considerably less energy than Franco.  That is a polite way of saying that this is a surprisingly slow movie.

Eventually, Gardonet does reach the castle.  Orloff’s daughter, Cecile (Brigitte Carva), insists that she did not send the message.  Orloff (played by the great Howard Vernon) tells the doctor that he is not only totally sane but that he also lives with an invisible man.  Orloff proves his claim by having the invisible man pick up a few things in a room while Gardonet watches.  Oddly, Gardonet doesn’t seem to be particularly surprised to learn that Orloff has an invisible servant.

Orloff says that he’s going to tell Gardonet the story of how he got an invisible servant but then it turns out that the story actually has very little to do with that.  Cecile, it turns out, was once mistakenly pronounced dead and put in a coffin.  Two of Orloff’s servants decided to break open the coffin and steal Cecile’s jewelry.  However, when they opened the coffin, Cecile woke up and screamed.  One of the gravediggers stabbed Cecile before the two of them ran from the crypt.  Cecile survived but Orloff was so angry that he tracked down the graverobbers.  He killed one and whipped the other.  (Actually, he may have killed both of them.  Due to some truly bad dubbing, the film isn’t clear on this point.)  He then revived the dead servant, turned him invisible, and now uses him to rule over the village.  Or at least, I think that’s what Orloff was claiming.  Again, the editing of the film was so haphazard and the dubbing some incompetent that the plot wasn’t always easy to follow.  Interestingly enough, there is one scene where we briefly do see what the Invisible Man looks like and he looks nothing like the dead servant but instead appears to be some sort of ape.

Orloff Against the Invisible Man is a mess of bad special effects and sexualized violence.  If Jess Franco could be counted on to make films that were sleazy but enjoyably decadent, Orloff Against The Invisible Man is just sleazy and kind of boring.  The best thing that the film has going for it is Howard Vernon, who brings just the right mix of haughtiness and cynicism to the role of Orloff.  Vernon always played Orloff as being an amoral aristocrat, one whose evil is more the result of ennui than actual maliciousness.  Vernon’s the best thing about Orloff Against The Invisible Man.

As with most of the Orloff films, this one has actually been released under several different titles.  My favorite was The Love Life of an Invisible Man.  Interestingly enough, the film’s American tagline was “God Help Us …. If They Rise Again!” despite the fact that the film didn’t feature any zombies or ghosts.  Instead, it just features a few flashbacks and a lot of exposition.  Orloff Against The Invisible Man could have used the demented imagination of Jess Franco.

Horror Film Review: The Caller (dir by Arthur Allan Seidelman)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

The Caller is a odd little film from 1987.

How odd is it?

It’s so odd that it’s difficult to know how to even describe it. On the surface, it’s a film about two people in a house. The Girl (Madolyn Smith) — and that’s how she’s credited at the end of the film — is staying in a secluded house in the woods. There’s a nearby town but, when the Girl stops there to get some gas, it’s impossible not to notice that there aren’t any other people around. When the Girl reaches the house, she makes a phone call and asks to speak to her daughter. From what we hear of her say to her daughter, it sounds as if The Girl is recovering from some sort of trauma.

After the Girl hangs up the phone, the Caller (played by Malcolm McDowell) knocks on her front door. The Caller seems to be a polite Englishman. He says that he’s recently had some car trouble and he asks if he can come in the house to use the Girl’s phone. The Girl lets him in but, as soon as The Caller enters, it becomes apparent that he was lying about having car trouble.

The Girl and the Caller talk. In fact, they spend several days talking. Sometimes, they’re friendly to each other and other times, they’re not. Their stories keep changing. At one point, the Caller claims that he’s a police detective and that he’s investigating a murder in the area. At another point, the Girl claims that she was responsible for the Caller’s car not working. We start to get the feeling that the Girl and the Caller might know each other and that each knows that the other is lying. Things get stranger as the night turns into day and then night again. The Caller appears to be leave but, just as mysteriously, he shows up again. The Caller tries to enter one particular room in the house. The Girl fights to keep him from doing so. The two of them taunt each other. Sometimes, they threaten each other. At times, they seem to be almost dependent on each other and you wonder if the Girl really wants the Caller to leave. They start keeping track of who is collecting the most points as they play a game that only the two of them seem to understand.

And it just keeps going and going. As many times as the Girl and the Caller both say that they’re done with conversation or that they’re leaving, neither can seem to abandon they other. Instead, they keep circling each other, like two trapped animals continually challenging one another for control. It all leads to a twist, one that you probably won’t see coming. Admittedly, the twist itself does seem to come out of nowhere but, because the film has been so weird up until that moment, the bizarre randomness of it all seems totally appropriate.

At times, The Caller can feel like a bit of an endurance test. McDowell and Smith are the only two people in the film and they spend the entire movie engaging in cryptic conversations that only seem to make sense to themselves. It’s not always easy to follow them as they go from one topic to another. Fortunately, both Smith and McDowell give excellent performances, ones that keep us guessing as to their true motivations and which also keep us interested in their enigmatic characters. You become invested in their drama, even if you don’t always understand it. The Caller is not a film for everyone but horror fans looking to take a chance on something a little different will be well-rewarded.

Horror on the Lens: Manos: The Hands of Fate (dir by Harold P. Warren)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

torgo

I should start things off with a confession.  This is actually not the first time that I’ve shared Manos: The Hands of Fate here on the Shattered Lens.  I previously shared it during the 2013, 2015, and 2020 Horrorthons and, each time, I even used the exact same picture of Torgo.

However, Manos proved to be such a popular choice that I simply had to post it again. Manos has a reputation for being one of the worst films ever made.  And, honestly, who am I to disagree?  However, it’s also a film that is so bad that it simply has to be seen.

(As well, I love regional horror and there are a few films as regional as Manos, a film that was filmed in my home state of Texas and directed by a fertilizer salesman.)

By the way, everyone who watches Manos ends up making fun of Torgo, who was played by John Reynolds.  What they may not know is that Reynolds committed suicide shortly after filming on Manos wrapped.  So, as tempting at it may be to ridicule poor Mr. Reynolds’s performance, save your barbs for Torgo and leave John Reynolds alone.

And be sure to enjoy Manos: The Hands of Fate!

October Positivity: The Daylight Zone (dir by Dave Christiano)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

There’s an old joke that goes something like this:

How do you know someone’s an atheist?

Give them five minutes and they’ll tell you.

That’s certainly the case with Carl Smith (Keith Salter), the character at the center of 1986’s The Daylight Zone.  Because The Daylight Zone is set up as a parody of The Twilight Zone, a Rod Serling-style narrator informs us that Carl is a 35 year-old school teacher from Johnson City, Texas.  Carl is driving back to Johnson City in his beat-up old pickup truck.  He stops at a roadside fish stand and gets a fish sandwich.

It quickly becomes apparent that there are two things that obsess Carl Smith.  One is his dislike of religion.  The other is his obsession with fish sandwiches.  Seriously, I’ve never seen someone get so excited over a fish sandwich.  (Then again, I live in Texas, I’ve driven down more than a few country roads, and I’ve never seen a guy selling fish sandwiches off the side of the road.)  The only thing that ruins Carl’s fish sandwich experience is that there’s a bunch of a Christians eating nearby.

“Are you Jesus freaks!?” Carl demands.

Carl flies into a sputtering rage, saying that Jesus doesn’t exist because Carl’s never met him.  The Christians respond by asking Carl if he believes in George Washington, seeing as how Carl has never met him either.  Carl replies that his great-great-great-great-grandfather lived next door to the Washingtons.  Carl’s not just an atheist!  He’s also a damn liar!

Anyway, Carl drives off with his fish sandwich.  Unfortunately, he’s forced to take a detour.  Soon, mysterious people are approaching his truck and asking Carl if he’s heading to Jerusalem and if he’s going to the Crucifixion.  Carl laughs them off.  Interestingly, Carl never seems to notice that everyone is now dressed in the hottest 33 AD fashion.  Of course, none of them seem to find it odd that Carl is driving a pickup truck.  Whenever Carl asks if he’s on the right road to Johnson City, everyone responds with, “Yes, you are heading to Jerusalem.”  Carl doesn’t understand what they mean.  Perhaps he’s confused by the fact that everyone still has a Texas accent.

Indeed, it’s not until Carl is stopped by a bunch of Roman soldiers who demand that he pay an arbitrary tax that it occurs to him that something strange is happening.  And make no doubt about it, Carl is an obnoxious and annoying character, the type who never stops complaining and who won’t even share his fish sandwich with a shepherd.  But it’s hard not to sympathize with him when he gets arrested for tax evasion.  Taxation is theft!

(That said, it’s interesting that the Roman soldiers are confused by Carl’s American money but not by his pickup truck.)

This is an early Christian film from the Christiano Brothers.  On the one hand, the story moves quickly and it’s obvious that the brothers understood the format of The Twilight Zone.  Instead of just using the show as a gimmick, The Daylight Zone actually does pay homage to the classic Twilight Zone style.  On the other hand, Carl is so obnoxious that it’s hard to care one way or the other what happens to him and those thick Texas accents do tend to take away from the whole “He’s been transported to ancient Judea” angle of the story.  This one gets an A for effort but a C for execution.  Actually, I’ll bump it up to a C+ because of the whole anti-IRS subtext of the film.  Seriously, the IRS sucks.