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Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 2.23 “Cornelius and Alphonse/The Choice”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

Smiles, everyone, smiles!  This week, we visit the other side of the Island.

Episode 2.23 “Cornelius and Alphonse/The Choice”

(Dir by Earl Bellamy, originally aired on May 6th, 1979)

This was a bit of an odd episode.

First off, the official title of the show, for this episode, was Fantasy Island Sunday Special.  Usually, Fantasy Island aired on Saturdays.  This episode, as you can guess by the title, aired on a Sunday.  Secondly, this episode does away with both the plane and Tattoo’s signature cry of “Da Plane Da Plane,” and instead has the guests arrive on the island in a hot air balloon.  Tattoo (who is once again seen driving his little car, so I guess he finally recovered it after it was stolen earlier in the season) and Mr. Roarke are joined by a second assistant, Cindy (Kimberly Beck, who readers of this site will probably recognize as the likable lead in films like Massacre at Central High and Friday The 13th: The Final Chapter).  At one point, Roarke says that “Cindy helps me on this side of the Island.”  If nothing else, this episode confirms that Roarke has multiple assistants and the Island is really, really big.

Actually, it’s a good thing that Cindy is there because Cornelius (Red Buttons) and Alphonse (Billy Barty) have kidnapped Tattoo!  Cornelius is a former employee of the Island but he was fired for stealing.  When he returns to the Island, he says that his fantasy is to just have a pleasant holiday with his friend Alphonse.  However, Cornelius’s real fantasy is to get revenge on Mr. Roarke by abducting Tattoo and holding him for ransom!

Of course, anyone who has been paying attention to the show up to this point knows that Cornelius and Alphonse have made a mistake.  Mr. Roarke and Tattoo obviously loathe each other.  When Mr. Roarke finds out that Tattoo is being held captive in a conveniently deserted castle, he doesn’t really seem that concerned about it.  And Tattoo turns out to be such a disruptive presence that Cornelius is soon begging Roarke to take him back.  In the end, Roarke demands money to take Tattoo off of their hands and Cornelius and Alphone end up paying off their debt by working in Fantasy Island’s kitchen.  Tattoo is amused by the whole thing, despite the fact that Mr, Roarke was essentially willing to let him die.

Meanwhile, two orphans (Kyle Richards and Michael Anderson, Jr.) are given a chance to pick their new parents.  They spend time with two sets of prospective parents.  (One of the potential fathers is a magician played by a youngish Regis Philbin.)  From the start of the fantasy, it’s pretty obvious that they’re going to ask to be adopted by Ruth (Juliet Mills), the head of the adoption agency.  And that’s exactly what happens.  The episode ends with Ruth and the children boarding a hot air balloon and flying all the way back to America.

As I said, this was a bit of a weird episode, with a new assistant and a hot air balloon.  “The other side of the Island” looks a like a theme park.  This episode was obviously designed to appeal to children and, for what it’s worth, the IMDb trivia section states that this episode was meant to be a “backdoor pilot” for a version of Fantasy Island that would appeal to children.  (I assume Cindy would have been the main character.)  Unfortunately, the kidnapping humor is a bit too broad and the adoption storyline is a bit too predictable.  Hopefully, next week’s episode will take place on the adult side of the Island.

Music Video of the Day: Padam Padam by Kylie Minogue (2023, dir by Sophie Muller)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today’s music video of the day finds Kylie Minogue in what appears to be yet another post-apocalyptic wasteland.

Personally, I appreciate this video because of all the red.  Who wouldn’t want to live in a world dominated by my favorite color?

Enjoy!

Retro Television Reviews: Hang Time 4.21 “Phenom Blues” and 4.22 “New York Nick”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Hang Time, which ran on NBC from 1995 to 2000.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Play-offs, baby!

Episode 4.21 “Phenom Blues”

(Dir by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on November 22nd, 1998)

It’s play-off time and, once again, the Tornadoes are at Indiana State University.  Unfortunately, the Tornadoes are having a crisis of confidence because their first game is going to be against a team that has the best player in Indiana.  Despite Julie calling them all a bunch of losers for being afraid and the Coach giving them a lot of game tape to watch, the boys are convinced that they’re going to lose and get sent home.

“This is our last night in Bloomington,” Hammer says at one point, “We should at least have some fun!”

Seriously, how can you not have fun in Bloomington?

Michael, Silk, Rico, and Hammer all go to a cow-themed amusement park.  Unfortunately, due to a malfunctioning hanging gondola, they nearly plunge to their deaths.  A helicopter shows up at the last minute and drops a ladder down to them.  Yay, I guess.  I don’t know, this was actually kind of dumb and it annoyed me that we only saw the ladder and never the helicopter.  I mean, if you’re going to fake an amusement park disaster, spend some money and get a real helicopter!

Julie, meanwhile, spends the night watching game tape and talking to herself about how the other team is good but can be defeated.  Even when she’s talking to herself, Julie is condescending.

Finally, Kristy and Coach K. play in a pool tournament.  Kristy is playing because she wants to win a bike so that the team can give it to Coach K as a thank you present.  Coach K wants to win the bike because his old bike got stolen.  Sounds like a win-win, to be honest.  Fortunately, Coach K has to forfeit the game so he can help rescue the players at the amusement park.  Kristy wins and gives Coach K. the bike that he would have won anyways.  Wow, that was suspenseful.

Anyway, having survived a near-death experience, the team is able to win their playoff game.  Yay!

This was pretty dumb but it did have one funny scene where, while flipping channels on the TV, Julie comes across an old episode of Saved By The Bell and dismisses it by saying, “I’ve seen all of these 50 times already.”  That’s my type of humor right there.

Well, I guess that, in the next episode, we’ll find out if the Tornadoes won that championship or not….

Episode 4.22 “New York Nick”

(Dir by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on November 22nd, 1998)

The Tornadoes are going to New York!

Wait a minute, what?  Aren’t they supposed to be playing for the state championship?  It is true that they won a trip to New York when they were in San Antonio but why are they going now?  It doesn’t make — eh, forget it.  I’m doing trying to justify this show’s messy timeline.  Life’s too short and I’m getting a headache.

In New York, Mary Beth and Kristy can’t wait to go shopping at Bloomingdale’s!  Julie can’t wait to talk down to everyone!  Michael, Silk, and Rico can’t wait to go to a Pacers/Knicks game!  And Hammer can’t wait to see his ex-girlfriend, a supermodel named Cindy!  He asks Mary Beth for permission and Mary Beth is like, “Sure!”  But she doesn’t really mean it.  She’s jealous and annoyed and I would have been as well.  To be honest, she should have just dumped Hammer right there.  I mean, Julie will dump a guy just for having uneven sideburns.  Why is Mary Beth always trapped in these go-nowhere relationships?

While eating lunch with Cindy, Hammer is approached by the editor of Teen Life, who wants to put Cindy and Hammer on the cover of their Coolest Couple Issue!  Mary Beth says that she doesn’t have a problem with it but when Cindy and Hammer are invited to an industry party, it’s time for Mary Beth, Kristy, and Julie to put on some silly wigs and crash the party!  In a fit of jealousy, Mary Beth destroys a cake and loses Hammer the job.  So, now …. oh God, this headache is intensifying …. Mary Beth has to find a way to sneak into the editor’s hotel room and talk her into rehiring Hammer.  In fact, Mary Beth is so persistent that the editor decides to put Mary Beth on the cover instead of Cindy.  File this under things that would never happen in real life.

Meanwhile, at the Knicks/Pacers game, Michael, Rico, and Silk get into a food fight with a Knicks fan who later turns out to be a friend of the coach and …. oh, who cares?  The only thing memorable about the game scene is that it was pretty much recreated word-for-word in a later episode of City Guys.

Who won the championship!?  Maybe we’ll find out next week.

Film Review: The Irish Mob (dir by Patrick McKnight)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Valentino “Val” Fagan (played by Rob McCarthy) was named after Rudolph Valentino but he didn’t grow up to be a chivalrous lover, the type whose romantic eyes make hearts swoon.  Instead, Val grew up to be a mobster, the head of the Irish mob.  His eyes view the world with mistrust and anger.  As he tells us in the cocky voice-over that runs through The Irish Mob, Dublin is his city.  Whether its drugs, theft, or dealing weapons with the IRA, Val is involved.

However, it’s not easy being the boss.

For one thing, Val has the Garda after him.  Detective Liz Delahunt (Pauline O’Driscoll) is obsessed with taking Val down.  She’s got the wall of her office set up with one of those crazy charts that links Val and his associates to a series of unsolved murders throughout Ireland.  Liz is clever and she’s determined.  In one of the film’s funnier moments, she puts Val under a protection order so that he ends up with Detective Kevin Hogan (David Greene) following him around 24 hours a day and staking out his home.  Whenever Val looks out of a window, Hogan gives him a friendly wave.

As well, the Corrigan Brothers, who are Val’s Amsterdam-based drug connections, have just lost a fairly large shipment of drugs and the money that they would have made from selling them.  The Corrigans expect their associates to kick in to help make up for the loss and it’s pretty clear that failure to do so will lead to something not good happening.  Val may be rich but he’s not that rich and he soon finds himself taking risks in order to raise the money.  Right when it appears that Liz’s funding has been cut, one of Val’s brazen robberies leads to Liz being told that she’ll have all the money that she needs to pursue her case against Val.

Finally, there’s Dessie Corrigan (George Bracebridge), a monstrous sociopath who has just been released from prison and who is looking to get back into the Dublin rackets.  A misunderstanding leads to Corrigan deciding that Val sold him out to the Garda.  Corrigan soon starts to attack Val’s men and makes plans to come after Val himself.  As with so many of the criminals in The Irish Mob, Corrigan is an idiot but he’s a very determined idiot.  He’s also someone who can easily be manipulated by those looking to take over Dublin.

Val has his ways of dealing with the stress.  He genuinely loves his son and comes about as close to being human as he probably can whenever he’s just being a father.  Though he spends a lot of time fighting with his wife, he does have a mistress who he enjoys spending an hour or two with.  And, of course, there’s always cocaine.  The more stressed Val gets, the more he does.  The more paranoid Val becomes, the more people he kills.  It’s not easy being in charge but, as Val tells us, Dublin is his city,

Plotwise, The Irish Mob is a standard Mafia movie, complete with a philosophical voice over and scenes of random violence.  Val reached his position of power by being smarter than everyone else but, now that he’s in charge, he’s forced to depend on people who are stupid, sadistic, and impulsive.  Val thinks that he can control the cycle of violence but what he doesn’t understand is that the cycle controls him and not the other way around.  Rob McCarthy gives a steely performance as Val and the Dublin locations give the film a gritty feel.  Unfortunately, the plot itself doesn’t really feature many surprises and the film’s concluding twist, while being appropriately tragic, is still one that most audiences will see coming from a mile away.  Then again, that may be the point.  Val’s fate is as predestined as those who came before him and those who will come after him.  In the end, the cycle just keeps repeating.

Music Video of the Day: Jaded by Miley Cyrus (2023, dir by Jacob Bixenman and Brendan Walter)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Miley’s sorry that you’re jaded.

Jaded is defined as being “tired, bored, or lacking enthusiasm, typically after having had too much of something,” so I guess it’s appropriate that the video for the song is kind of boring and features all of the tired Miley stuff that we’ve already seen in a hundred other videos, some of which featured Miley and some of which didn’t.  It’s interesting that we live in a world where we have many stars but few of them really seem to have much of a personality.

Enjoy!

Retro Television Reviews: The Great Niagara (dir by William Hale)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay.  Today’s film is 1974’s The Great Niagara!  It  can be viewed on YouTube!

The Great Niagara takes place during the Great Depression.

With the world mired in economic uncertainty and the threat of war right around the corner, people are more desperate than ever for entertainment.  One of the latest fads is attempting to conquer the Niagara by going over the falls in some sort of raft.  If done correctly, it can lead to fame and fortune.  But, if one mistake is made while trying to steer the raft against the rapids and the rocks, it can lead to death.  In fact, death is the usual outcome of most people’s efforts to conquer the Niagara.  It’s actually illegal to try to ride anything over the falls but people still try to do it and crowds still gather to watch the attempts.

Old Aaron Grant (Richard Boone) is obsessed with conquering the Niagara but, because he’s been injured in too many attempts, all he can do now is sponsor and try to help others who are willing to take the risk.  Aaron is the type who will look out at the Niagara and angrily shake his fist.  He hates the river and he hates the falls but they’re also the only thing that gives his life meaning.  After Aaron’s latest protegee, Ace Tully (Burt Young), fails in his attempt to go over the falls, Aaron starts to put pressure on his sons to make the attempt.  Lonnie Grant (Michael Sacks) knows that Aaron has allowed his obsession to drive him mad and he’s also promised his wife, Lois (Jennifer Salt), that he won’t go over the falls.  However, Carl Grant (Randy Quaid) is desperate for his father’s approval and it’s not long before he’s getting ready to enter the barrel and risk his life.

The Great Niagara is a short but interesting film.  It’s based on historical fact.  There’s been a long history of people risking their lives with stunts at Niagara Falls.  A few years ago, there was a live television broadcast of someone walking over the falls on a tightrope.  It was a huge rating success and it was, of course, sold as a tribute to the human spirit.  That said, it’s entirely believable that a good deal of the people watching were doing so because they were curious about what would happen if the guy fell off the wire.  By that same token, the crowds that we see in The Great Niagara are far more concerned with seeing someone go over the falls than they are with whether or not that person survives the experience.  Richard Boone gives an obsessive, half-mad performance as Aaron and Michael Saks does a good job as the voice of reason.  Randy Quaid gives a poignant performance as poor Carl, who is so desperate for his father’s approval that he’s willing to risk his life to try to get it.  That said, the true star of the film is the Niagara itself, which is beautiful but obviously dangerous.  When Aaron shakes his fist at the falls, it’s hard not to feel that the Niagara isn’t doing the same back at him.

May Positivity: Fenced Off (dir by Brad Wise)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

2011’s Fenced Off tells the story of Josh (Joshua Zirger) and George (Reggie Willis).

Josh is a young white social worker who has just moved onto a street where all of his neighbors are black.  His mother worries that Josh and his wife, Anne, are going to become crime statistics.  All of Josh’s friends tend to say things like, “Isn’t that neighborhood a little urban for you?”  Josh’s dumbass brother thinks that it would be a good idea to show up at Josh’s house wearing a durag and pouring a bottle of wine out on the driveway.  Josh is a nice guy but he sure does know a lot of dumb people.

Meanwhile, George (Reggie Willis) has lived on the block for 17 years.  He’s not at all happy when Josh shows up and he goes out of his way to avoid talking to his new white neighbors.  George’s best friend suggests that George might be a “bigot” but George denies it.  He says that he has a lot of reasons to not want to talk to Josh.  The fact that Josh is a dorky white guy is just one of them.

One week, while his wife is out of town, Josh’s life falls apart.  He offends a group of teenagers when he assumes that they’re approaching him because they want to mug him.  (Instead, they just want to return the $4.00 that he dropped while running.)  He freaks out when he hears a gunshot in the distance and, when George makes a joke about gangs in the area, Josh briefly worries that George might be a gang member.  Josh finds a white package on his property and automatically assumes that some drug dealers dropped a package of cocaine on his front lawn.  George grabs the package and reveals that it just a bag of  diapers.

It’s certainly a well-intentioned film and Josh and George are both portrayed as being complex characters who are sometimes right and sometimes wrong.  There’s actually a rather insightful scene in which Josh attempts to soothe things over with George by talking about how his family struggled financially when he was a kid just for George to call him out for assuming that George must be from a poor background.  When Josh argues that his best childhood friend was black, George wonders why every white guy claims to have had a black best friend who moved away in the 8th grade.  George has a point with both comments.  “I didn’t grow up rich” and “my best friend was/is black” are two of the most regularly repeated claims in white America today.

But, that said, Fenced Off doesn’t really work. Due to a lot of unnecesssary padding, the otherwise slight story unfolds a bit too slowly and the acting is often amateurish.  The actor who played Josh’s brother especially tended to overact.  (I’ve noticed that, when it comes to indie films like this one, it seems like there’s always at least one former theater kid who gets cast as a sidekick who proceeds to shout out all of his lines.)  Fenced Off has good intentions but the film is ultimately left down by its execution.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 5/14/23 — 5/20/23

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Barry (Sunday Night, HBO)

The latest episode of Barry scared the Hell out of me.  I literally screamed when that person dressed in all black appeared behind Sally.  That said, I also laughed at Monroe “The Raven” Fuches and his first few days of freedom.  NoHo Hank has apparently made himself into quite a successful businessman but he’s still in denial about the role he played in Cristobal’s death.  And, of course, Gene Cousineau remains Gene Cousineau.  I just can’t shake the feeling that none of these characters are going to survive the series finale.

Beavis and Butt-Head (Paramount Plus)

Beavis and Butt-Head discovered that the secret to being popular was acting depressed.  And then they probably rendered themselves sterile with shock treatment.  After that, Beavis got rabies.  That was kind of disturbing.  I’m going to guess that Butt-Head eventually got rabies as well.  Oh well.

Black Bird (Apple TV+)

I watched the first four episodes of this true crime miniseries this week.  It’s a fascinating show that I’ll write about more after I finish it.  Paul Walter Hauser is extremely unsettling as Larry.  Taron Egerton has the charisma of an old school movie star.  This show also showcases the late Ray Liotta in the role of Egerton’s loving father.  The role allows Liotta to show his kind side, along with the tough side that he was best known for.  Along with everything else that makes this show memorable, it serves as a tribute to Liotta’s skill as an actor.

Forgive or Forget (YouTube)

Laurie Sue appeared on the show to confess to her husband that she had cheated on him with her first cousin and that she had subsequently danced and stripped at a laundry mat.  He forgave her.  Personally, I suspect that they were both lying about what happened and just wanted a chance to appear on television.  Laurie Sue’s story was followed by two men who cheated on their pregnant fiancées.  Mother Love helped everyone work out their problems.  “Never underestimate the power of forgiveness!” Mother Love declared while the audience applauded.  I suspect Mother Love may have been a cult leader.

On Monday, I watched an episode featuring a teenage moron named Andrew who trashed the house while his father was in the hospital, having his toe amputated.  His father forgave him, even though Andrew definitely did not deserve it.

I Remember Gorgeous George (YouTube)

This was a 1980s documentary about pro-wrestling.  I watched it on Sunday morning.  I’m not really a wrestling fan but, that said, I can appreciate it as a unique example of Americana.

Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)

This uneven season came to an end with a heavy-handed look at gun control.  Basically, the message of this week’s episode was that it’s okay to kill someone as long as you have the right political beliefs.  Once again, justice was pushed to the side because of Price’s PTSD.  Seriously, what a disappointing way to end the season.

The Master (Tubi)

I wrote about The Master here!

Night Flight (Night Flight Plus)

On Saturday morning, I watched a 30-minute profile of the band Bananarama.

Sally Jessy Raphael (YouTube)

“I can’t believe my kid’s a skinhead!” was the title of the episode that I watched on Sunday and indeed, the parents were shocked.  Sally lost control of the audience early on.  I followed this up with an episode called “Serial Killer Fan Vs. Victims Families.”  Yikes!

On Tuesday, I was in a bad mood so I watched an episode called “My Teen Is Going To End Up A Criminal.”  Wow, those teens had some issues!  And I bet they did all end up as criminals.

Survivor (Wednesday Night, CBS)

I wrote about Survivor here!

Take Off To Comedy IX (Night Flight Plus)

I watched this 90s special on Friday night.  It was a collection of comedy clips, including a stand-up comedian talking about why he gave up cocaine.  Just from his manic delivery, I don’t think he ever gave up cocaine.

Waco: The Aftermath (Showtime)

I watched the remaining episodes of Waco: The Aftermath this week.  I understand that the show has apparently not been well-received by critics.  I’m going to guess that’s because the show was ultimately as a critical of the government as it was of its enemies.  To me, the show provided a look at how the efforts to combat the monster often make the monster even stronger.

Yellowjackets (Sunday Night, Showtime)

I’m now caught up with Yellowjackets.  Of course, I knew that Shauna’s baby was not going to survive but that didn’t make the episode any less powerful or sad or unsettling.  This season has definitely been a bit more uneven than the first season but it’s still a very intriguing show.

Retro Television Reviews: California Dreams 5.12 “Graduation” and 5.13 “A Band Divided”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing California Dreams, which ran on NBC from 1992 to 1996.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, the Dreams graduate!

Episode 5.12 “Graduation”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 22nd, 1996)

Graduation approaches and Mark is freaking out because he’s never had the courage to ask out Sarah (Tara Reid …. yes, that Tara Reid).  When he finally works up the courage to ask her if she might want to go out with him, she says maybe and asks what he has in mind.

“Well, the school’s hosting a clean-and-sober graduation party….” Mark starts.

“I want beer!” Sarah replies.

And you know what?  Mark’s a nice guy but that invitation seriously was kind of dorky.  I don’t even drink and I would have totally rolled my eyes in high school if anyone had invited me to “a clean-and-sober graduation party.”

Sarah’s reaction should have been enough to let Mark know that they wouldn’t make a good couple but poor Mark.  Over the course of three seasons, he has yet to have a real girlfriend.  He’s desperate!  He invites Sarah to the graduation party that he’s decided to throw at Lorena’s loft.  And he’s also decided that there will be beer at the party!  This despite the fact that Mark and the Dreams have just attended a school assembly where Principal Blumford (Earl Boen) warned against the dangers of teenage drinking.  Someone is definitely not mature enough to leave high school yet!

And Mark’s proves that he’s not mature enough by getting drunk at the party, trying to drive to the beach with Sarah, and crashing into a ditch.  Mark gets arrested, loses his license for a year, and — as he explains at graduation — he’ll have to do community service, attends alcohol classes, and pay a fine.  Sarah ends up in the hospital and misses graduation.  Mark explains that she has two broken ribs, a punctured lung, and a concussion.  HOW DEEP WAS THAT DITCH!?  At the ceremony, Principal Blumford announces that “to say I’m disappointed in some of you for what happened last night would be an understatement….”  Dude, everyone knows you’re talking about Mark.  Way to make him feel bad at his own high school graduation!  Sam forgoes giving her valedictorian speech so that Mark can take to the stage and apologize.  Way to make graduation awkward for everyone!

Oh well.  At least graduation works out for everyone else.  Jake and Tiffani make a model castle so that they can pass their history class and avoid summer school.

Anyway, this was a depressing episode but I support any show that tries to keep people from drinking and driving.  Plus, the Dreams finally graduated!  Yay!

Episode 5.13 “A Band Divided”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 30th, 1996)

Again, yay!  This episode opens with the He’s So Funky song!

Unfortunately, the song is so great that it proves to be too powerful for the band’s amp, which explodes on stage.  It’s going to cost the Dreams a thousand dollars to get a new amp.  Lorena offers to loan them the money, in return for the band making her co-manager with her boyfriend Sly.  Sly is actually okay with the idea.  “A lot of great couple have worked together,” he says, “Sonny and Cher …. Bonnie and Clyde….”

Sly and Lorena’s first task is to convince the head of the School Dance committee to hire the  Dreams to play at the next school dance and….

WAIT A MINUTE!  THE DREAMS GRADUATED LAST EPISODE!  SCHOOL’S OVER!

Once again, when it came to maintaining continuity by showing the episodes in the proper order, NBC just didn’t care.

Anyway, to the surprise of no one, Lorena and Sly struggle to figure out how to work together and soon, the Dreams have absolutely no gigs!  Jake tells them a story about two brothers who both became king and who had to learn how to rule together.  This leads to a lengthy fantasy sequence in which everyone gets to wear Renaissance Faire costumes that cause the studio audience to go crazy with each entrance.  Unfortunately, the story doesn’t do much good because, rather than learning to compromise, Sly and Lorena demand that the Dreams pick only one of them to be the manager.

To me, Lorena is the obvious choice because she has the best hair.  Mark says that he can’t choose because “Sly and Lorena are both our friends.”  Uhmm, Mark …. Sly is also your cousin.  (This is one of those facts that the show often seemed to forget about.)  Tiffani suggests that they let some old surfer dude make the selection.  It’s kind of amazing that the Dreams have stayed together as long as they have because none of them appear to be that smart.

Anyway, the old surfer names Lorena as manager and then says that, since he did her a favor, she should do him a favor and have the Dreams play his party for free.  Lorena says that’s not a fair arrangement and then Sly jumps up and says it’s not a fair arrangement and the old surfer explains that it was all a trick to make them realize how much they loved the band and he rules that they should both be co-managers.  I’m glad that worked out!

This was a silly episode but I enjoyed it.  Sly and Lorena are a fun couple and there was a funny B-plot in which Jake tried to rewire Lorena’s house in order to make the new amp work.  Jay Anthony Franke was always at his best when the show gave him a chance to balance Jake’s innate coolness with Jake’s general incompetence.

Next week, we have the final two episodes!  I’m going to miss the Dreams.