Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.14 “Revenge of the Forgotten/Charo”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week epitomizes an era!

Episode 6.14 “Revenge of the Forgotten/Charo”

(Dir by Phillip Leacock, originally aired on February 19th, 1983)

Just the fact that one of this week’s fantasies is actually entitled “Charo” should tell you all you need to know about it.  Charo plays Maria Diaz (her full name is much longer), who has come to Fantasy Island to meet her father.  Charles Woodruff (Van Johnson) didn’t even know that he had a daughter but he takes the news surprisingly well.

The interesting thing about this fantasy is that Charles Woodruff is an American diplomat, who has a home in both New York City and Fantasy Island.  As Fantasy Island has previously been established as being its own nation, you do have to wonder if perhaps Charles Woodruff is America’s ambassador to Fantasy Island.  A large part of the fantasy involves him hosting a dinner for several other diplomats so I guess it’s possible that every country sends an ambassador to Fantasy Island.  Perhaps Fantasy Island even sends a delegate to the United Nations.  Maybe that would explain where Tattoo was during all of those season 5 episodes where Julie was suddenly Roarke’s sidekick.  For that matter, maybe that’s where Julie is now.  The show never has really explained what happened to her.

Anyway, how much you like this fantasy will depend on how much you like Charo.  She is someone who definitely epitomizes an era and, of course, the same can be said of both The Love Boat and Fantasy Island.  It’s interesting that, over the years, there have been multiple attempts to reboot both of those series and they’ve never really worked, largely because a good deal of the appeal of Love Boat and Fantasy Island is how much they really are a product of the 70s and 80s.  Attempting to update them for the modern era tends to negate everything that make both of the shows so entertaining to watch today.

(The latest Fox update of Fantasy Island had a lot of gorgeous scenery but it got bogged down in all of its attempts to world build.  It’s fun to speculate about how the Island works.  It’s less fun to actually have the show explain it to us.)

As for the other fantasy, it involves Marjoe Gortner!  As usual, Marjoe’s playing a villain.  He’s cast as Loren Robertson, who framed Alan Daly (Steve Kanaly) for a crime that he didn’t commit and then tricked Alan’s girlfriend, Marion (Christine Belford), into marrying him.  Recently released from prison, Alan comes to Fantasy Island to track down a fabled treasure that Alan believes he can use to restart his life.  With the help of Tattoo (who dresses up like Indiana Jones), Alan finds the treasure but, when he sees Loren and Marion on the Island, Alan gets distracted by his desire for revenge.

This story was a bit of an odd one.  Alan’s fantasy was to find the treasure and, after he found it, Roarke was like, “So, I guess you’ll be leaving now.”  Instead, Alan decides to spend a full weekend on the Island to try to get revenge.  I’ve never seen Roarke try to get a guest to leave early before but it’s even more strange to be reminded that somehow all of these fantasies occur over the course of one weekend.  Some episodes have seemed like a bit much for just two or three days.

Despite the fact that this episode originally aired in 1983, it doesn’t get more 70s than Charo and Marjoe!  Charo was her usual self.  Marjoe was a great villain as always.  This was an enjoyable trip to the Island.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 3.1 and 3.2 “Roller Disco”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, season three begins with a classic episode!

Episode 3.1 and 3.2 “Roller Disco”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on September 22nd, 1979)

It’s the roller disco episode!

From the moment that I first announced that I would be watching and reviewing CHiPs for this feature, people have been telling me about the legendary roller disco episode.  Having finally reached it, I can say that it lived up to the hype.  You’re not likely to see anything more 70s than the third season premiere of CHiPs.

Now, this was a two-hour episode so there were actually quite a few subplot going on, all of which were typical CHiPs storylines.  In no particular order:

  1. A kid named Mark (Bobby Rolofson) is roller skating around the beach and idolizing three criminals.  Can Baker show him that the good guys always win?
  2. The three criminals are Lita (Helena Kallianiotes), Ty (Fred Williamson), and Romo (Jim Brown).  Lita sets up the targets.  Ty and Romo steal their purses and their wallets and then escape on roller skates.  Ty and Romo are tired of breaking the law.  Lita demands that they continue to steal.  Eventually, it falls to Baker and Ponch to arrest them.
  3. Carlin (Larry Linville) and Franco (Larry Storch) continually cause accidents on the highway.
  4. Rock star Jimmy Tyler (Leif Garrett) is so tired that he sleeps through one of those accidents.  Looking to break free from his well-meaning but overbearing manager (Bill Daily), Jimmy decides to manage his own affairs while staying at Jon Baker’s apartment.

There’s a lot going on but the main plotline is Ponch trying to find celebrities to take part in the annual highway patrol fund raiser.  Even with his big smile, Ponch struggles to charm the celebs.  He pulls over Ed McMahon at one point but fails to recognize him until McMahon drives off.  Gatraer tells Ponch that police work comes first but also tells him that he has to find celebrities.  Gatraer’s been giving Ponch a hard time ever since the first season.  Some things never change.

Fortunately, Jimmy feels guilty for overstaying his welcome at Baker’s apartment and he makes it up to Baker and Ponch by asking his celebrity friends to take part in the fund raiser.  It’s time for a roller disco with the stars!

It all leads to this classic scene:

I recognized a few of the stars, though certainly not all of them.  I recognized Victor French because I’ve been reviewing Highway to Heaven.  I’ve also seen enough old sitcoms that I immediately recognized Robert Mandan, who was apparently the best roller skater in Hollywood.  Melissa Sue Anderson, I knew from Happy Birthday To Me.  Cindy Williams, who got two shout-outs, I knew from American Graffiti.  Is it just me or did Nancy Kulp look kind of lost?  Neither Melissa Sue Anderson nor Cindy Williams seemed to want to talk to her.

The roller disco actually goes on for fifteen minutes, which I appreciated.  The show promised a roller disco and it delivered.  It was like stepping into a time machine and traveling to the 70s.  It was a great way to start season three!

Because of the holidays, this is going to be my final CHiPs review of 2024.  My reviews of this show will return on January 6th!

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 4.28 “Tony and Julie/Separate Beds/America’s Sweetheart”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, season 4 comes to an end!

Episode 4.28 “Tony and Julie/Separate Beds/America’s Sweetheart”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on May 16th, 1981)

Wedding bells are in the air!

Carl Mitchell (William Christopher) boards the boat without his wife.  As he explains to Gopher and Isaac, he was married when he booked the cruise but now he’s not married because his wife was too much of a slob.  However, Carl is still determined to take his cruise and enjoy himself.  As soon as Carl goes off to find his cabin, his wife, Lynn (Toni Tennille), boards the ship and tells Gopher and Isaac that she just broke up with her neat freak husband but she’s determined to go ahead and take the cruise that they booked before their break-up.

Carl and Lynn are not happy to discover that they’re both on the cruise and that they’re sharing a cabin.  Carl wants to date a younger woman.  Lynn flirts with Doc Bricker.  Of course, Carl and Lynne are still in love with each other.  Lynn decides to win Carl back by cleaning up the cabin.  Carl decides to win back Lynn by messing the cabin up.  It’s like the most pointless story that O. Henry never wrote.  The important thing is that Carl and Lynn decide to give their marriage another chance.

(Personally, I couldn’t live with someone messy.  And Lynn really does just toss stuff all over the place.  I think they should get a divorce.)

While this is going on, Vicki is super-excited when her favorite actress, Becky Daniels (Alison Angrim), boards the boat.  But Becky is actually a spoiled brat and, when she hires Vicki to serve as her stand-in for a movie that’s being shot on the boat, she goes out of her way to make sure that Vicki is humiliated.  Vicki is briefly disillusioned with Hollywood, until Becky apologizes and she and Vicki become friends.  Okay, then.  Glad that worked out!

Meanwhile, Julie is late arriving at the boat because she’s been busy visiting her aunt (a glowering Nancy Kulp).  She even gets into an argument over a cab with Tony Selkirk (Anthony Andrews), a veterinarian.  Julie wins the argument and the cab but imagine her shock when Tony turns out to be a passenger on the boat!  She’s even more shocked when she sees Tony walking around with two chimpanzees.  Of course, as you’ve probably already guessed, Tony and Julie fall in love.  And Tony asks Julie to marry him.  And Julie says yes!

And that’s where season 4 ends.

Is this the end of Julie’s tenure as cruise director?  I guess we’ll find out next week.  As for this episode, it was pleasant-enough way to end the fourth season.  The stories did not particularly interest me but the Love Boat crew has become a strong enough ensemble that the show is no longer as dependent on its guest stars as it used to be.  This episode, I enjoyed watching the crew more than the passengers.  Seriously, I want to take a cruise now.

Next week, we start season 5!

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 3.15 “The Harder They Fall/The Spider Serenade/Next Door Wife”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, Gopher falls in love.  Yes, Gopher.

Episode 3.15 “The Harder They Fall/The Spider Serenade/Next Door Wife”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on December 8th, 1979)

After three seasons of being goofy comedic relief, Gopher finally got his heart broken in this episode.  He fell in love with a passenger named Claire Dalrymple (Jill St. John), who is on the boat by herself because she has recently separated from her husband, Nelson (Robert Sampson).  And Claire eventually fell in love with Gopher, especially after he dressed up like a mariachi singer and serenaded her with a song about the time that she asked him to kill a spider that was in her cabin.  This time, it was Gopher who ended up waking up in a cabin with a passenger.

(I’m sure some would say it was a bit unrealistic that Claire, upon seeing a spider in her cabin, would run out into the hallway, screaming while wearing only a towel.  I’ve done the exact same thing at a hotel because spiders are scary!)

But does Claire really love Gopher or if she just looking for someone to feel the void left by her separation.  When her husband shows up on the boat, he turns out to be a pretty reasonable and polite guy.  He tells Gopher that, while Gopher can give Claire anything she wants at sea, Nelson can give her everything she needs on land.  Is Nelson suggesting some sort of special arrangement here?  Well, if he is, it totally goes over Gopher’s head.  At the end of the cruise, Claire decides to leave with Nelson and Gopher can only sadly watch as she leaves.

Awwwwwww!  Poor Gopher!

It’s kind of weird to see Gopher in a sad story.  That’s not the fault of Fred Grandy, who always likable and did a pretty good job with the role.  Instead, it’s just that Gopher is such a goofy character that it takes a bit of adjustment to suddenly see him being sincere.  His storyline here worked well-enough, once you got used to the idea of Gopher being serious.  If anything, Gopher was so sad by the end of it that it suddenly made sense why he’s always telling jokes and trying to avoid any sort of emotional commitment.  He’s hurting inside!

The other two storylines were goofy enough to make up for Gopher’s serious turn.  Chet Hanson (James McArthur) is on the cruise with his girlfriend, Kim (Susan Buckner).  Chet’s wife, Carol, (Joanna Pettet) also shows up on the cruise and gives Chet the papers to sign for their divorce.  Chet and Carol are fairly friendly for a divorcing couple but Chet is still upset when Carol buys a ticket for the cruise and ends up staying in the cabin across the hall from him and Kim.  Soon, Carol is stopping by constantly and telling Chet about a man that she’s been flirting with.  Eventually, Chet realizes that he doesn’t want to get a divorce and he and Carol get back together.  That really sucks for Kim, who is surprisingly tolerant of being followed around by her boyfriend’s wife.  This storyline really did leave a sour aftertaste.  Chet was a jerk and Kim deserved better.

Finally, Ed “Flash” Taylor (Milton Berle) and Jack McTigue (Alan Hale, Jr.) were both boxers in their youth.  They fought one legendary fight, in which they not only beat the Hell out of each other but also knocked out the referee.  Now, they are both cruise line executives and they both end up on their boat at the same time.  As soon as they see each other, their rivalry reignites and they prepare for a rematch on the boat.  When Captain Stubing tries to stop the fight, he is accidentally knocked out by the two boxers.  Somehow, this leads to peace between Ed and Jack and not to Captain Stubing suing his bosses for punching him.  Seriously, the Love Boat is floating HR nightmare.

This was an okay episode, largely due to Gopher’s unexpectedly sad story.  The other two stories were just goofy but, when it comes to The Love Boat, the goofiness is the point.

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 2.6 “Mike and Ike / The Witness / The Kissing Bandit”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, I learned that there’s no way to escape the Bradys!

Episode 2.6 “Mike and Ike / The Witness / The Kissing Bandit”

(Dir by Allen Baron and Roger Duchowny, originally aired on October 21st, 1978)

This week, The Love Boat continued to be a floating HR nightmare as Newton Weems (a very young Billy Crytsal) donned a mask and spent his nights running around the ship and kissing every single woman that he came across.  Fortunately, Newton’s such a fantastic kisser that no one demands that the police be alerted.  Unfortunately, with every woman on board eager to get kissed, that means that no one is reacting to the lame flirtations of Doc, Gopher, and the Captain.  The Captain decides that the best way catch the Kissing Bandit would be to use Julie as a decoy.  If I was Julie, I would point out how reasonable I was about the Captain’s uncle and demand more money.  Instead, Julie allows herself to be kissed and soon, she’s in love with the Kissing Bandit as well.

However, Newton eventually realizes that he’s actually in love with another passenger, Roberta (Laurie Walters), and that he doesn’t have to wear a mask to be romantic.  Though this disappoints his biggest fans (played by Nancy Kulp, Pat Carroll, and Sharon Acker), it does make the rest of the crew happy.  It seems like the Captain should be worrying more about running the ship than hitting on every woman who comes aboard but I guess big luxury liners pretty much run themselves.

While this was going on, Isaac was reconnecting with his old friends, Lenore (Marilyn McCoo) and Mike (Billy Davis, Jr.).  When they were younger, they used to perform on street corners for spare change.  Now, Mike is an executive vice president and he’s so work-obsessed and stuffy that his own son (Todd Bridges) thinks that his father doesn’t love him!  Fortunately, things work out in the end.  Mike realizes that there are things more important than business.  Ted Lange gets to show off his dance moves, though it’s hard to forget that Isaac once accused another passenger of being a sell-out for doing the same thing.

Finally, Frank McLean (Robert Reed) is taking a cruise so that he can avoid testifying in a murder trial.  He is spotted by Suzanne (Toni Tennille), who knows Frank from the old neighborhood.  At first, Frank denies even being from New York but, eventually, he tells Suzanne his story.  Suzanne falls for Frank but she has a secret of her own.  By Love Boat standards, this story is fairly dramatic but it ultimately fails because there’s not a hint of chemistry between Reed and Tennille.  In fact, Robert Reed looks even more miserable after he falls in love than he did before.

On a personal note, I just can’t escape The Brady Bunch, can I?  Last week, even as I was finishing up The Brady Bunch Hour, Robert Reed showed up on Fantasy Island.  This week, Eve Plumb went to the island while Robert Reed boarded the ship.  There’s just no way to escape those Bradys!

Lisa Reviews An Oscar Nominee: Shane (dir by George Stevens)


“Hey, Shane!  Come back, Shane!”

There’s a few ways in which you can view the 1953 film, Shane.

The more popular view is that it’s a Western about a man named Shane (Alan Ladd) who rides into town and gets a job working for the Starretts, Joe (Van Heflin) and Marian (Jean Arthur).  Joe is a farmer who is determined to hold onto his land, despite the efforts of cattle baron Rufus Ryker (Emile Meyer) to force him off of it.  While we don’t learn much about Shane’s background, it becomes apparent that he’s a man who can fight.  That comes in handy when Ryker brings in a sinister gunfighter named Wilson (Jack Palance).

Another view is that Shane is the story of a man who just wants to settle down but, instead, finds himself continually hounded by an annoying little kid, to the extent that he finally gets involved in a gun battle just so he’ll have an excuse to leave town and get away from the little brat.  Little Joey Starrett (Brandon deWilde) idolizes Shane from the minute that he comes riding up.  When he hears that Shane refused to get into a fight at the local saloon, Joey demands to know whether it was true.  He tells his mom that he loves Shane almost as much as he loves his father.  When Shane does get into a brawl with all of Ryker’s men, Joey stands in the corner and eats candy.  And then, when Shane tries to leave town, Joey runs behind him shouting, “Come back, Shane!  Come back!”

Myself, I think of it as being the story of Frank Torrey (Elisha Cook, Jr.).  Frank is the farmer that’s been nicknamed “Stonewall,” due to his status as a former Confederate and his quick temper.  Stonewall may be smaller than the other farmers but he’s usually the quickest to take offense.  Still, it’s impossible not to like him, largely because he’s played by Elisha Cook, Jr.  When Wilson feels the need to put the farmers in their place, he does so by picking a fight with Torrey.  Standing on a porch in the rain, looking down on the smaller man, Wilson starts to insult both him and the South.  When Torrey finally starts to reach for his gun, Wilson shoots him dead.  While Torrey lies in the mud, Wilson smirks.  It’s a shocking scene, all the more so for being shown in a long shot.  (By forcing those of us in the audience to keep our distance from the shooting, the film makes us feel as powerless as the farmers.)  If you didn’t already hate Wilson and Ryker, you certainly will after this scene.

Shane is a deceptively simple film, one in which many of the details are left open for interpretation.  We never learn anything about Shane’s background.  He’s a man who shows up, tries to make a life for himself, and then leaves.  He’s a marksman and an obviously experienced brawler but, unlike Ryker’s men, he never specifically looks for violence.  In fact, he often seems to avoid it.  Why?  The film doesn’t tell us but there are hints that Shane is haunted by his past.  Shane seems to want a chance to have a life like the Starretts but, once he’s forced to again draw his gun, he knows that possibility no longer exists.

Is Shane in love with Marian Starrett?  It certainly seems so but, again, the film never specifically tells us.  Instead, it all depends on how one interprets the often terse dialogue and the occasional glances that Marian and Shane exchance.  When Shane and Joe get into a fist fight to determine who will face Ryker and Wilson, is Shane really trying to protect Joe or is it that he knows Marian will be heart-broken if her husband is killed?

One thing’s for sure.  Little Joey sure does love Shane.  “Come back, Shane!”  Little Joey follows Shane everywhere, with a wide-eyed look on his face.  To be honest, it didn’t take too long for me to get sick of Little Joey.  Whenever director George Stevens needed a reaction shot, he would cut to Joey looking dumb-founded.  Brandon deWilde was 11 years when he appeared in Shane and he was nominated for an Oscar but he’s actually pretty annoying in the role.  Elisha Cook, Jr. was far more impressive and deserving of a nomination.

I know that many people consider Shane to be a classic.  I thought it was good, as long as the action was focused on the adults.  Alan Ladd plays Shane like a man who is afraid to get too comfortable in any situation and the film works best when it compares his reticence to Wilson’s cocky confidence.  Whenever Joey took center stage, I found myself wanting to cover my ears.

Shane was nominated for Best Picture but lost to From Here To Eternity.