Tag Archives: Movies

No Guts, No Glory: Lisa Marie Attempts To Predict The Actual Oscar Nominees

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Okay, because I love being punished (oh yes), here are my predictions for which films and performers will recieve Oscar nominations in the 6 major categories tomorrow morning.  As opposed to my previous post on the Oscars, these are the films that I expect to see nominated (as opposed to who and what I personally would like to see nominated.)

Best Picture

The Artist

The Descendants

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (Bleh!  Not happy about this one)

The Help

Hugo

Midnight In Paris

Best Director

Woody Allen for Midnight in Paris

Michel Hazanvicius for The Artist

Alexander Payne for The Descendants

Martin Scorsese for Hugo

Tate Taylor for The Help

(Yes, I’m going out on a limb and making a random prediction for Taylor.  If I’m wrong, I’ll still be 4 for 5.  And if I’m right, then I’ll be a freaking genius.)

Best Actor

Demian Bichir for A Better Life

George Clooney for The Descendants

Leonardo DiCaprio for J. Edgar

Jean Dujardin for The Aritst

Brad Pitt for Moneyball

(Yes, I am predicting that Michael Fassbender will be passed over in favor of a more politically correct nomination for Bichir.  There’s always at least one brilliant performance and film that is ignored and I think that this year, it’ll be Fassbender and Shame in general.)

Best Actress

Viola Davis for The Help

Rooney Mara for The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (bleh)

Meryl Streep for The Irony Lady

Tilda Swinton for We Need To Talk About Kevin

Michelle Williams for My Week With Marilyn

Best Supporting Actor

Kenneth Branagh for My Week With Marilyn

Albert Brooks for Drive

Jonah Hill for Moneyball

Nick Nolte for Warrior

Christopher Plummer for Beginners

Best Supporting Actress

Berenice Bejo for The Artist

Jessica Chastain for The Help

Janet McTeer for Albert Nobbs

Octavia Spencer for The Help

Shailene Woodley for The Descendants

 

 

6 Trailers For 6 Films That Were Snubbed By The Academy

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Seeing as how the Oscar nominations are due to be announced on Tuesday, I thought I would devote this edition to Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation trailers to films that were snubbed by the Academy.  Remember them while you’re watching Rooney Mara accept best actress.

1) A Life of Ninja (1983)

Despite the colorful trailer, this film was not nominated for best Costume Design, Art Design,  or Cinematography.  Instead, all three of those awards went to Ingmar Bergman’s Fanny and Alexander.

2) The Shark Hunter (1979)

Franco Nero was not nominated for best actor for his performance here.  Instead Dustin Hoffman won for Kramer vs. Kramer.

3) The Terrornauts (1967)

The true terror is that the 1967 Oscar for Special Visual Effects went to Doctor Dolittle and not The Terrornauts.

4) Americathon (1979)

The Academy has never really appreciated hard-hitting political satire which perhaps explains why the previously mentioned Kramer Vs. Kramer won best picture while Americathon was not even nominated.

5) Don’t Torture A Duckling (1972)

The Oscar for Best Foreign language film of 1972 was given to Luis Bunuel’s The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie and not to Lucio Fulci’s classic giallo Don’t Torture A Duckling.

6) The Hills Have Eyes (1977)

And yet somehow, Annie Hall was named best picture.

What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night: The 69th Annual Golden Globe Awards

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the 69th Annual Golden Globe Awards.  I also got on twitter and made a lot of snarky comments.  People seemed to enjoy it and for that reason, I say, “Yay!”

Why Was I Watching It?

Because I am an awards show junkie!  Seriously, those glue sniffers on Intervention don’t have anything on me when it comes to craving the excess, glamour, and foolishness of a big, silly Hollywood awards show!  Add to that, this is still a fairly wide open Oscar season and the Golden Globes are, as they always say on E!, a “precursor to the Oscars.”  Winning a Golden Globe usually guarantees at least an Oscar nomination.  Plus — Ricky Gervais was back to host and like a lot of people last night, I spent the minutes before the ceremony asking myself, “What ever will he say!?” in feverish anticipation.

What Was It About?

For the past 69 years, the members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association have thrown a big banquet in January and given out a lot of awards to various TV and movie stars.  Nobody’s really sure who the members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association are and, to be honest, the Golden Globes always have a slightly unsavory air to them.  There’s always more than a few nominations that mostly seem to be designed to get famous people to show up at the ceremony,  Last year, they nominated the Tourist, this year they nominated The Ides of March.  Anyway, the Golden Globes are distinguished by the Oscars by the fact that they serve alcohol during the show and, in the past, someone’s always ended up giving a drunken acceptance speech or launching into an incoherent political rant and, for the past few weeks, we’ve been told that with Ricky Gervais returning to host the 69th annual banquet, anything could happen and probably would!  Yay!

What Worked

Last night, I mentioned on twitter that if nothing interesting happened on the Globes or if Ricky somehow failed to deliver the expected amount of snark then I would devote this section of my review to talking about my boobs. 

With that in mind, what can I say except that they’re a little big and heavy and they pretty much ended my dreams of being a ballerina but I like my boobs, or as I call them Pride and Joy.  They go great with every outfit I own and I’m pretty sure that they’re also the reason why I’ve never had to pay a speeding ticket.  Plus, they allowed me to say stuff like, “I should be Ms. Golden Globes!” while I was watching the show last night…

Actually, I’m being a little bit unfair to the Golden Globes (the awards ceremony, not my boobs).  The tribute to Morgan Freeman was well-done and was probably the high point of the ceremony but then again, how can you go wrong with Morgan Freeman?  Seriously, when I’m on the verge of doing something silly (like using a review of the Golden Globes to show off my boobs) , I imagine Morgan Freeman saying, “Now, do you really think that’s a good idea?”

Fashion-wise, I saw a lot of red dresses last night and that made me happy because I look really good in red.

Among the winners, Christopher Plummer (Best Supporting Actor for Beginners), Jean Dujardin (Best Actor In A Comedy Motion Picture for The Artist), Martin Scorsese (Best Director for Hugo), and Claire Danes (Best Actress In A Dramatic TV Show for Homeland) all gave good and classy acceptance speeches that made me feel good to be alive.  And Uggie the dog was so adorable up there on stage when The Artist won Best Motion Picture Comedy.  Actually, speaking of The Artist, it was kinda nice to see so many French people accepting awards last night.  (Oh, stop it!  I love France!)

I enjoyed it when Madonna won for best song because she was so shocked that she forgot to speak in her fake accent. 

On an admittedly petty note, Rooney Mara did not win Best Actress for David Fincher’s The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and that amused me greatly because I knew that all the little AwardsDaily Fincherites were torn about how to whine about Mara losing with coming across as if they were criticizing Meryl Streep for winning.

What Did Not Work

So, let’s start with the main problem.  Last night’s Golden Globes ceremony was so respectable and predictable and slow that it might as well have just been the Oscars.  Ricky Gervais started out the ceremony by telling us that he had signed an agreement to not make any offensive or outrageous statements and then he did just that.  What’s especially annoying is that Ricky didn’t seem to be neutering himself as an act of protest or anything of the sort.  Instead, he just came across like he was too smug and sure-of-himself to realize that he was bombing.  It was as if he just expected his reputation to convince us that he was being funny and outrageous without actually being funny and outrageous.  Last year, Ricky Gervais skewered Hollywood phonies.  This year, Ricky Gervais was a Hollywood phony.  I sat there waiting for him to say just one thing that could potentially end his career and he refused to do it.

But Ricky wasn’t alone.  Seriously, where were the drunk winners launching into incoherent politically themed rants.  I mean, it’s an election year for God’s sake.  People on twitter were using the occasion to make all sorts of silly and naive political statements but the actual celebrities — the people who we depend on to act like a bunch of dumbasses — just sat there in this sort of placid anxiety like they were waiting for someone to show up for an intervention.

BLEH!

The majority of the night’s acceptance speeches were neither good nor bad.  They were just boring.  Listen, Meryl Streep is a great actress and I have no problem with her being recognized and awarded for her talent but oh my God, I nearly fell asleep trying to listen to her.  Now, if Meryl (or any other winner) had gotten up on stage and started slurring her words or making dirty jokes or something like that, it would have made for great television.  (Though I do have to give Meryl some credit for being the only winner to get bleeped.) 

The Descendants won Best Motion Picture Drama but seriously, it’s hard for me to accept that this well-made but essentially unchallenging and rather forgettable film is now the Oscar front-runner.  Seriously.  Much as with every other award it has won, The Descendants felt like something of a compromise choice and, considering that Scorsese won best director, it’s hard to gauge just how much momentum the Descendants is going to get from this victory. 

Oh!  And another thing that sucked — how did George Clooney win a Golden Globe for essentially playing the same character he always plays while Michael Fassbender’s brilliant work in Shame was ignored?  What type of game is that?

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

To quote Joan Crawford, “I’ll show you a pair of Golden Globes!”

Lessons Learned

This is shaping up to be one of the worst Oscar seasons in recent history.  Seriously, if just one deserving film or performance wins in February, I will be amazed.

6 Trailers That Did Not Win Any Golden Globes

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

First off, allow me to again apologize for being late with my weekly trailer post.  I had some asthma issues that basically left me fairly useless on both Friday and Saturday.  Still, better late than never.  In this latest edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers, we acknowledge some films that were NOT nominated for Golden Globes.

1) The Flesh Eaters (1964)

I just recently got this one on DVD but I haven’t watched it yet.  Of course, I love any trailer that starts out with a countdown.

2) Beach Girls and the Monster (1965)

The star of the film (which apparently co-stars the Watusi Dancing Girls), John Hall, was briefly a star back in the 1930s.  This was his attempt at a comeback film and he ended up committing suicide after it was released.

3) Blast-Off Girls (1967)

This film was directed by the infamous Herschell Gordon Lewis.  I want to be a blast-off girl!

4) Monsters Crash The Pajama Party (1969)

I don’t own this one on DVD, mostly because I’m kinda scared that if I watch it, a monster will pop out of the TV screen and try to drag me off to somewhere. 

5)  The Fat Black Pussycat (1963)

Awwww, cute little kitty!

6) Mortuary (1983)

Agck!  This trailer is actually scary.

The Directors Guild Nominations

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

The Directors Guild has announced their nominees for the best of 2011 and I guess it’s time for the folks at AwardsDaily and David Poland and Jeff Wells and all the others to do their annual “Everyone Agrees With Us So Fuck Anyone With An Independent Mind” posts.

Here are the nominees:

Woody Allen — Midnight in Paris

David Fincher — The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

Michel Hazanavicius — The Artist

Alexander Payne — The Descendants

Martin Scorsese — Hugo

Unfortunately, Fincher’s The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo has been deemed a box office disappointment which, I think, has given it an undeserved reputation for being an art film as opposed to just an example of establishment cynicism. 

Anyway, congratulations to all the nominees and especially congratulations to all the little fanboys out there.  You can loosen the noose and hop off of the step ladder now.  David Fincher has gotten some love.

6 Trailers To Welcome 2012

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Hi there and welcome to the first 2012 edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers.  Today, I come offering Danish subtitles, Japanese monsters, a grindhouse icon, and tomcats.  Lots and lots of tomcats…

1) Tomcats (1976)

Let’s start off 2012 with this trailer for a low budget, drive-in film called Tomcats.  It’s also known as Deadbeat, They Deserved It, and a few hundred other titles.  The trailer is memorable for its light-hearted narration but the film itself is pretty dark (and kinda stupid, to be honest).  By the way, this trailer features more than a little nudity and is definitely not safe for work.

2) Smokey Bites The Dust (1981)

This trailer was apparently used to advertise this Roger Corman production in Denmark.

3) Terminal Island (1973)

This is a landmark of feminist exploitation cinema.  (Scoff all you might but there is such a thing and if you don’t believe me, go and read the best thing I’ve ever written, Too Sordid To Ever Be Corrupted.)  Much like Smokey Bites the Dust, this trailer is in English but comes with Danish subtitles.  It’s also NSFW.

4) Terror of Machagodzilla (1975)

And now for something completely different…

5) Across 110th Street (1972)

Who doesn’t love this film’s title song?

And finally…

6) Enter The Dragon (1973)

Yes, Enter the Dragon is an exploitation film.  Just because it’s now considered to be a classic and it’s shown in film school (the first time I saw it was in film class) doesn’t change the fact that this film is pure grindhouse exploitation.

Welcome to 2012!  Let’s make it a good one, just in case the Mayans were correct.

6 Trailers in Tribute to Roger Corman

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

On Thursday night, my twitter timeline briefly exploded when it was reported that legendary filmmaker Roger Corman had just passed away.  I immediately jumped over to Wikipedia and I saw that Roger Corman was officially listed as being newly deceased.  Quickly, I jumped back over to twitter and I tweeted, “R.I.P. to one of the most important figures in American film history — the legendary Roger Corman.”  I then sent out another tweet in which I pointed out that this meant that two of the men who has played senators in The Godfather, Part II — G.D. Spradlin and Roger Corman — had died this year and within months of each other.

Immediatly, one of my twitter friends tweeted back, “If only real Senators would die as quickly.” 

“Agck!” I thought to myself, “how do I respond to that?  If I get all offended or humorless, I might lose a follower.  If I say yes, that’s a good point, I might end up getting put on some sort of super secret government list…”

Even as I worried about my future as a subversive, I was thinking to myself that the best way I could pay tribute to the late Roger Corman was to devote my next edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation trailers to his memory.  Yes, I decided, the next edition would have be all Corman, a celebration of the man, his life, and his movies…

And then it turned out that Roger Corman wasn’t dead.  Turns out that some idiot journalist named Jake Tapper tweeted that Corman was dead and that’s what set off a chain reaction of false assumptions and early tributes.  However, Roger Corman is still alive but you know me.  Once I get an idea in my head,  I have to see it through.  Letting things go is not one of my talents. 

So, with that in mind, here are 6 trailers in tribute to Roger Corman, who is not dead.

1) The Trip (1967)

In 1967, Roger Corman directed this film in which Peter Fonda plays a tv director who drops acid and ends up having a really bad trip.  The script was written by Jack Nicholson and Dennis Hopper plays a random guru guy.  Bruce Dern is in it too.  As far as drug movies go, The Trip is actually pretty good though it does indulge in some of the standard Renaissance Faire imagery that all movies seem to use whenever attempting to visualize an acid trip.

2) St. Valentine’s Day Massacre (1967)

I recently saw this movie, Roger Corman’s first “studio” film.  I have to admit that I thought it was a little bit slow but it had some fun performances and Jack Nicholson gets a memorable cameo where he explains why he dips his bullets in garlic.

3) The Intruder (1962)

In 1962, Roger Corman and William Shatner teamed up to make this look at racism and the people who exploit it.

4) The Raven (1963)

This is one of Corman’s famous Poe films.

5) The Wild Angels (1966)

Peter Fonda again.  In this seminal biker film, Fonda again costars with Bruce Dern.  Fonda’s girlfriend is played by Nancy Sinatra who, by the way, is one of the few celebs on twitter who will not only follow back but who will also actually respond to her followers.

6) It Conquered The World (1956)

Finally, let’s end things off with some truly old school Corman — It Conquered the World!  This was Corman’s 3rd film as a director and his first major success.

Here’s to you, Roger Corman!  Thank you for the movies and congratulations on still being with us.

Scenes I Love: “Faster! Play it Faster!” from Reefer Madness

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

One reason that I love the old school grindhouse and exploitation films is because they’re often a far more honest reflection of their times than more mainstream films.  If you want to learn about history through film, don’t waste your time watching whatever film won best picture in 1936.  Instead, watch the movies that were specifically designed to exploit the times by presenting a somewhat more honest portrait of them.

So, what can we learn about 1936 from watching a classic exploitation film like Reefer Madness?  Reefer Madness, of course, tells the story of what happens after a group of clean-cut high school students are introduced to marijuana, the weed with roots in Hell.

Well, from the clip below, we can guess that, in 1936, high school was full of people in their 40s.  That and the marijuana of the 1930s was apparently laced with speed.

For giving the audience this unexpected insight into the past, this is truly a scene that I love.

Lisa Marie Is Too Annoyed To Show Off Her Golden Globes

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

I would offer to show you a pair of  golden globes but, quite frankly, looking at this year’s Golden Globe nominations from the Hollywood Foreign Press Association has filled me with a soul-crushing sense of ennui.  The other critics groups and the SAG have at least been interesting and unpredictable.  The Golden Globe nominations, however, appear to be the result of the usual combination of Bandwagon hopping and celebrity ass kissing.  Seriously — the Ides of March for best film?  And George Clooney for best director?  I guess they were really anxious for him to show up.  And don’t even get me started on Rooney Mara’s nomination.  (Seriously, I’m sure Rooney Mara is very sweet for a girl who has never had to actually work a day in her life.)

And, for that matter, just who the Hell is actually in the Hollywood Foreign Press Association and how did they get to be the big Oscar precursors? 

Anyway, here’s the major nominations with some short, vaguely angry commentary from yours truly:

BEST PICTURE: DRAMA

“The Descendants”

“The Help”

“Hugo”

“The Ides of March”

“Moneyball”

“War Horse”

(I haven’t seen War Horse or the Artist yet so obviously, my big angry complaint here is the nomination of The Ides of March.  Seriously, what total BS.)

BEST PICTURE: COMEDY OR MUSICAL

“50/50”

“The Artist”

“Bridesmaids”

“Midnight in Paris”

“My Week With Marilyn”

(I’m happier with these nominees, despite the fact that I think Midnight in Paris was way overrated.)

BEST DIRECTOR

Woody Allen (“Midnight in Paris”)

George Clooney (“The Ides of March”)

Michel Hazanavicius (“The Artist”)

Alexander Payne (“The Descendants”)

Martin Scorsese (“Hugo”)

(Really?  So, if you’re a celebrity, you can get a best director nomination even if the film you made was a turgid, sexist, condescending mess of a movie.)

BEST ACTOR: DRAMA

George Clooney (“The Descendants”)

Leonardo Dicaprio (“J. Edgar”)

Michael Fassbender (“Shame”)

Ryan Gosling (“The Ides of March”)

Brad Pitt (“Moneyball”)

(Was the HFPA so determined not to show any love for Drive that they had to nominate Ryan Gosling for The Ides of March instead?)

BEST ACTRESS: DRAMA

Glenn Close (“Albert Nobbs”)

Viola Davis (“The Help”)

Rooney Mara (“The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”)

Meryl Streep (“The Iron Lady”)

Tilda Swinton (“We Need to Talk About Kevin”)

(I hate to say it but I’m really starting to resent the fact that I’m going to have to actually sit through The Iron Lady.)

BEST ACTRESS: COMEDY OR MUSICAL

Jodie Foster (“Carnage”)

Charlize Theron (“Young Adult”)

Kristen Wiig (“Bridesmaids”)

Michelle Williams (“My Week With Marilyn”)

Kate Winslet (“Carnage”)

(I’ve been hearing terrible things about Carnage but I guess if the Ides of March is one of the best of the year, than Carnage must be pretty good.)

BEST ACTOR: COMEDY OR MUSICAL

Jean Dujardin (“The Artist”)

Brendan Gleeson (“The Guard”)

Joseph Gordon-Levitt (“50/50”)

Ryan Gosling (“Crazy, Stupid, Love”)

Owen Wilson (“Midnight in Paris”)

(At least someone finally showed Brendan Gleeson some love.)

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Berenice Bejo (“The Artist”)

Jessica Chastain (“The Help”)

Janet McTeer (“Albert Nobbs”)

Octavia Spencer (“The Help”)

Shailene Woodley (“The Descendants”)

(So, I guess it’s official now?  We’ve decided to honor Jessica Chastain for The Help as opposed to her better performance in Take Shelter? Then again, Michael Shannon wasn’t nominated for Take Shelter either.  Well, when you’re dealing with a cinematic masterpiece like The Ides of March, what hope does a little film like Take Shelter or Drive have?  Seriously, good job, HFPA.)

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Kenneth Branagh (“My Week With Marilyn”)

Albert Brooks (“Drive”)

Jonah Hill (“Moneyball”)

Viggo Mortensen (“A Dangerous Method”)

Christopher Plummer (“Beginners”)

(Odd.  The HFPA missed a chance to toss out another nomination to the Ides of March here.  Still, at least they gave some attention to Hill’s performance, which was the only thing that really made Moneyball a memorable film to me.)

BEST ANIMATED FILM

“The Adventures of Tintin”

“Arthur Christmas”

“Cars 2”

“Puss in Boots”

“Rango”

(Good thing that George Clooney didn’t direct a cartoon this year.)

Here’s the full list of nominees from the Toadsuckers themselves.

 

 

 

Lisa Marie Cries and Cries As She Watches A Dolphin Tale (dir. by Charles Martin Smith)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

 

On Wednesday evening, Jeff and I went down to the dollar theater and we finally got around to seeing A Dolphin Tale.  A Dolphin Tale is one of those movies that I was really enthusiastic about seeing when it first opened in theaters but then, for whatever reason, I just never got around to seeing it.  So, I was happy to have a chance to catch it before it left theaters for a sure-to-be popular life as a video rental.  The film’s trailer led me to suspect that I would cry and cry while watching A Dolphin Tale and I was not disappointed.

This is going to be a pretty simple review because A Dolphin Tale is a pretty simple movie and that’s exactly why it’s a good movie.  The movie tells the true story of Winter, a dolphin who was horribly injured by a crab trap and who lost her tail as a result.  After almost dying, Winter manages to fight back and is soon able to swim again.  However, swimming with no tail is damaging her spine and, unless something can be done, Winter will eventually end up killing herself.  Luckily for Winter, there’s a dedicated and eccentric scientist (played by Morgan Freeman, who can make any line sound like an edict from God) who dedicates himself to building her a prosthetic tail.  Will Freeman be able to get the tail built before Winter has to be put down and, more importantly, will Winter be able to learn how to use the new tail before her new home, the Clearwater Marine Hospital, runs out of money and is sold off to a businessman who wants to turn the place into a hotel?

If you don’t already know the answer then you’ve never seen a movie before.  Yes, A Dolphin’s Tale is predictable and yes, it’s not very subtle about manipulating the audience’s emotions but I don’t care.  The movie is just so sincere and the film’s story is just so inspiring that I had no problem allowing myself to be manipulated.    This is a movie that has a good heart and it’s obvious that for director Smith and for most of the cast (which includes Ashley Judd, Harry Connick, Jr., and Nathan Gamble, along with Freeman) that this film really was a labor of love.  The true star of the film, however, is Winter, who plays herself in this film.

The film itself is in 3-D and yes, there’s about a hundred shots of Winter swimming straight at the camera that were obviously included just because the film was in 3-D but who cares?  Yes, it’s manipulative but it works.  At the film’s end, we see documentary footage of Winter actually being rescued and cared for by the real people who we’ve just seen recreated in the film.  Not a single one of them looks as good as Harry Connick, Jr. or quite as wise as Morgan Freeman but they all look like heroes to me.

Seriously, if this film doesn’t touch you then you have no heart and you are quite possibly a member of the walking dead.