Tag Archives: Miami Vice

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.13 “Vote of Confidence”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Crockett and Tubbs are not looking for bull semen.

Episode 4.13 “Vote of Confidence”

(Dir by Randy Roberts, originally aired on February 12th, 1988)

After spending last week trying to retrieve a cannister of bull semen, this episode finds Crockett, Tubbs, and Switek actually doing Vice work for once.  At the start of this episode, they stop a train that doubles as a rolling bordello.  They arrest a man named Tom Pierce (Larry Pine), a congressman who just happens to be running for governor!

(Tubbs thinks that Pierce has some good ideas.  Crockett doesn’t believe in voting.  Try to get away with that on a television show in today’s hyperpartisan climate.)

Tubbs and Crockett are frustrated when the district attorney declines to prosecute Pierce.  The D.A. says that they can’t prove that Pierce was actually on the train to hook up with a prostitute.  He could have just been passing out campaign literature.  Crockett and Tubbs are outraged, wondering why the prostitutes should be arrested but not the people who keep them in business.  Crockett and Tubbs see it as another example of the rich and powerful being let off the hook and they’re probably right about that.

Still, Pierce’s campaign is rocked by the news of his arrest and, when he withdraws from the election, Internal Affairs investigates to make sure that Crockett and Tubbs didn’t set him up.  While Crockett and Tubbs are definitely innocent, they still suspect that someone may have indeed set Pierce up.  When Pierce disappears, they wonder if maybe he’s been abducted or murdered.  Their investigation leads them to a notorious political prankster (Barry Lynch) and a shady press operative (Jonathan Hadary).

This episode was apparently based on the same scandal that, decades later, would inspire The Front Runner.  It was an improvement on last week’s but then again, anything would have been an improvement on last week’s episode.  Just the fact that Crockett and Tubbs were actually doing police work as opposed to stifling laughs every time someone mentioned “bull semen” guaranteed that this episode would shine compared to last week’s episode.  On the plus side, this episode features a return of the cynical Crockett and Tubbs that we all know and love.  On the negative side, the story itself is so bland that it fades from the memory as soon as the episode ends.  This episode was competently done but bland.  That’s the problem with episodes that are meant to be “ripped from the headlines.”  Headlines eventually fade.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 7/20/25 — 7/26/25

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

1st & Ten (Tubi)

I reviewed 1st & Ten here!

American Manhunt: O.J. Simpson (Netflix)

Another year, another OJ documentary.  I binged this 2025 docuseries on Monday.  On the one hand, the story has been told and re-told so many times that it’s debatable whether any documentary will ever have anything new to add.  (And now that O.J. Simpson is dead, no one’s pretending that he was framed or that he was ever looking for the “real killers” anymore.)  On the other hand, the story itself such an important moment in American cultural history that there’s nothing wrong with examining it for a second or tenth time.  I appreciated that the docuseries took the time to talk about who Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman were as people before they were murdered by OJ.  (And make no mistake, that’s exactly what happened.)

The American Short Story (YouTube)

I reviewed this week’s episode here!

Big Brother 27 (24/7, CBS, Paramount Plus, Pluto TV)

I wrote about Big Brother here!

Black Sabbath: Up Close and Personal (Night Flight Plus)

On Saturday morning, Jeff and I joined our friend Pat in watching this 2007 documentary about Black Sabbath.  Some of the members were interviewed for the documentary.  Ozzy Osbourne was not (instead the documentary used archival interviews to get his thoughts) but, for the most part, everyone was very complimentary to him.  Personally, I liked the steady and straight-forward beat of the band’s music.

CHiPs (Prime)

I reviewed CHiPs here!

Degrassi High (Tubi)

I reviewed Degrassi High here!

Diff’Rent Strokes (Tubi)

I watched two episodes on Thursday.  In one, Kimberly Drummond (Dana Plato) went to a ski lodge with her friends and was considering losing her virginity when suddenly — surprise! — her father (Conrad Bain) decided to join her.  The second episode featured Willis (Todd Bridges) starting high school and being told that he had smoke weed to be cool.  Willis actually did get high in this episode and it’s amazing just how stoned he managed to get in just a few seconds.  Anyway, Mr. Drummond told Willis to stay off the grass.  This episode was disturbing because one of the high school stoners was wearing jeans so tight that …. well, let’s just say that it showed off more of him than was perhaps typical for network television.

Fantasy Island (DVR)

I reviewed Fantasy Island here!  Laurence is really letting me down as Mr. Roarke’s new servant.

Fred and Rosemary West: A British Horror Story (Netflix)

I watched this three-episode true crime docuseries on Sunday and Monday.  Fred and Rosemary West were a seemingly ordinary couple who actually murdered an untold number of young women and buried them out back under their patio.  Watching the docuseries, I was reminded a bit of the Paul Bernardo/Karla Homalka case, except in this case Fred tried to keep the police from discovering Rosemary’s role in the murders.  Fred ended up committing suicide.  Rosemary is still in prison.  It was a disturbing case.  Watching the docuseries, my heart broke for all of their victims.

Freddy’s Nightmares (Plex)

I reviewed Freddy’s Nightmares here!

From Rock Star To Killer (Netflix)

I watched this French docuseries, about the murder of actress of Marie Trintignant on Tuesday.  It was a sobering film, one that explored how many people refusing to believe that Marie’s famous boyfriend could also be a viscous abuser.  I minored in French in college so I watched the first episode without subtitles and I discovered that my French has gotten really rusty.  The remaining episodes, I watched the dubbed versions and I have to say that the dubbing was so poorly executed that I have to wonder if it was done by AI.

Gone Girls: The Long Island Serial Killer (Netflix)

On Tuesday, I watched this 2025 docuseries, which dealt with the infamous (and still largely unsolved) Long Island serial killer case.  To be honest, I’ve seen so many documentaries and dramatizations of this story that I kind of doubt there’s really anything new to learn about it.  That said, I appreciated that the series devoted so much time to profiling the victims and showing us who they were before they became a part of a cold case.  The victims of these crimes are so often overlooked or outright dismissed.

Good Morning, Miss Bliss (Prime)

My review of the second episode of Indiana Saved By The Bell will drop in about 90 minutes.

Gordon Ramsay’s Secret Service (Hulu)

On Saturday, I watched a two-part episode in which Gordon helped out three sisters who had taken over their late father’s restaurant.  On the one hand, I’m the youngest of four sisters so I could relate to the family dynamics that I saw in this episode.  On the other hand — yech!  Mice and roaches in the food!  I’m never eating out again.

Her Last Broadcast: The Abduction of Jodi Huisentruit (Hulu)

This true crime docuseries explored the disappearance of Iowa news anchor Jodi Huisentruit.  Along with giving us the details of her life and disappearance, the series also presented us with four potential suspects.  I’ve read some criticism online that the four suspects were all cleared of involvement by the police investigation or, in at least one case, was actually just a person of interest rather than a suspect.  It’s a tragic story, nonetheless.

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

This week’s episode …. agck!  I reviewed it here.

Homicide: Life On The Street (Peacock)

I reviewed Homicide here!

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX & Hulu)

The Lawyer returned!  After being a little bit disappointed in the first two episodes of the new season, my faith was renewed by the third episode.  Not only did the Lawyer return but we also got Dennis and Mac pretending to be EMTs, Dee screwing up yet another job, and Charlie turning into a demanding chef.  That’s the Sunny that I love!

The second episode that I watched this week, in which the Gang dealt with the consequences of dumping baby oil in a local waterway, I also enjoyed.  I always like it when Dennis tries to do his whole slick, corporate spokesman routine.

I’m still getting used to the Rob Mac name change.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

This week was a Thanksgiving cruise!  I can’t wait for the holidays!  I reviewed the episode here!

Malibu CA (YouTube)

Oh, how I hate this show.  Anyway, I wrote about the latest episode here.

Miami Vice (Prime)

This week’s episode was all about trying to retrieve stolen bull semen.  I swear, the stuff I watch for this site!  I reviewed it here.

New York Post Presents: Luigi Mangione: Martyr or Monster (Tubi)

I watched this documentary on Saturday because I was bored.  It presented the facts of the case without digging too deeply.  I remember that when Brian Thompson was shot, a lot of my friends were (and, in many cases still are) sympathetic to Luigi Mangione and they were always a little surprised that I wasn’t, especially after everything I went though when the insurance company evicted my Dad from his rebab facility.  Myself, I don’t believe in killing and I’m not going to praise a cold-blooded murder just because the shooter wrote some dumbass manifesto.  As for Luigi, if it wasn’t for his smile, most people wouldn’t care about him.

Night Flight (Night Flight Plus)

On Friday night, Jeff and I joined our friend Pat in watching an episode of this pop culture digest from the late 80s.  The episode opened with a look at “Satan Rock,” (Hi, Ozzy, hi, Iron Maiden) and then it went on to feature the hottest music videos of 1988.  As a history nerd and a student pop culture, I always enjoy watching artifacts like this.

Pacific Blue (Tubi)

Bleh.  Bicycles.  The bike cops were especially obnoxious this week.  I reviewed Pacific Blue here!

St. Elsewhere (Hulu)

Depressing episode, this week.  I reviewed St. Elsewhere here!

TMZ Investigates: What Happened to Justin Bieber (Tubi)

I was bored this afternoon so I watched this TMZ special.  Justin appears to be going through some problems.  The TMZ team considered that it could be drug-related.  Personally, I think fame does strange things to people, especially with today’s bizarrely obsessive celeb-driven culture.  Of course, having the TMZ folks following him around probably isn’t helping Justin’s mood.

TMZ Investigates: What Happened To Liam Payne (Tubi)

I watched this on Saturday.  TMZ investigates the tragic death of Liam Payne and it’s exactly what you would expect from TMZ.  There’s a lot of speculation, a lot of faux concern, and ultimately the whole thing leaves the viewer feeling a bit icky.

Trainwreck: The Astroworld Tragedy (Netflix)

I generally enjoy Netflix’s Trainwreck series.  I watched this entry on Friday.  It dealt with the death of nine people during a Travis Scott performance at Astroworld in 2021.  This documentary didn’t dig too deeply into how it happened, beyond suggesting that the majority of the blame should be assigned to the show’s promoters.  The desperate chant of “Stop the Show!” was haunting.

Trainwreck: The Cult of American Apparel (Netflix)

On Friday, I watched this documentary about the rise and fall of American Apparel.  It was weird essentially seeing my high school years turned into a “back in the day” documentary.  I guess this is what it feels like to realize you’re not getting younger.

Trainwreck: The Mayor of Mayhem (Netflix)

Rob Ford, a brash populist, is elected mayor of Toronto and makes a name for himself as a bigger-than-life reformer.  Then, he gets caught on camera smoking crack and everything falls apart.  This was my favorite of the Trainwreck documentaries that I watched, largely because Rob Ford was such a fascinating character.  I’ve read some comments online from some people who think that this documentary went a little bit too easy on Ford.  Maybe it did.  I’m not Canadian so I don’t know.  I just know it was an interesting story.

Trainwreck: P.I. Moms (Netflix)

The latest Trainwreck as is also perhaps the most pointless.  A reality show falls apart before the first episode even premieres.  The P.I. Moms, who would have been featured on the show, all argued that they deserved to be taken seriously and that they weren’t just acting for the camera but, at the same time, none of them came across as being particularly sincere so it was hard to have much sympathy for them.  It was a documentary about a bad reality show that felt like a bad reality show.

True Crime Arizona: Finding Robert Fisher (Tubi)

In 2001, it’s believed that Robert Fisher, a Navy veteran and former firefighter, murdered his wife and his two children, set his house on fire, and then disappeared into the Arizona wilderness.  Fisher has been a fugitive for 24 years and, while some speculate that he either committed suicide or died in the wilderness, people all over the country still regularly report spotting him.  This special took a look at Fisher’s crime and offered a few theories of how he managed to disappear.  The Fisher case has haunted me ever since I first learned about it and this special reminded me of why.  Fisher seemed like the type of guy you would want for a neighbor because he was good with tools and he had a clean-cut look.  Instead, he turned out to be a killer/  Personally, I think Fisher still out there.  Much like John List (the real-life inspiration for Jerry Blake in The Stepfather films), he’s probably got a new family and a new identity.  I have faith he’ll be captured eventually.

True Crime Arizona: The Missing (Tubi)

This episode looked at the cases of several indigenous women who had disappeared in Arizona and took a look at why their disappearances rarely seem to get the media attention that other true crime stories too.  This was well-produced and thought-provoking.

True Crime Arizona: Notorious Killers (YouTube)

I was so impressed by the True Crime Arizona episodes that I saw on Tubi that I then looked for more on YouTube.  This 23-minute episode took a look at some of Arizona’s most notorious killers.  I think I missed my calling.  I’d love to host True Crime Texas.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.12 “The Cows of October”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week …. I don’t even know how to describe it.

Episode 4.12 “The Cows Of October”

(Dir by Vince Gillum, originally aired on February 5th, 1988)

A cannister of bull seamen has been stolen from a Miami lab and the feds (represented by Harry Shearer) want it back before it falls into the hands of the Cubans.  Switek assists.  Izzy shows up to broker the deal.  Gerrit Graham plays a shady person who we are told is from Texas.  (His accent is more Arizona.)  Philip Michael Thomas wears a cowboy hat.  Don Johnson is largely absent until the final scene.  One gets the feeling that Johnson hated every minute of this episode while Thomas just seemed to be having fun.

This episode was, without a doubt, the stupidest episode of Miami Vice ever filmed.  And listen, I will admit that I haven’t seen every episode.  I’ve still got a season and a half to go.  There seems to be a general online consensus that the final two seasons of Miami Vice were not good at all.  I’m sure I have many dumb episodes ahead of me.  But I cannot — as much as I try — imagine any episode that could be as a dumb as the Vice Squad abandoning the war on drugs so that they could keep the Cubans from getting their hands on a cannister of bull semen.

Miami Vice has always been as its best when its been surrealistic, cynical, and gritty.  I would argue that Miami Vice really does not need to do comedic episodes.  For the first three seasons, nearly every episode ended with an innocent person either dead or forever embittered.  At its best, Miami Vice was not a happy show.  It was a show where Crockett and Tubbs drove around in the dark, loaded their guns, and Phil Collins sang in the background.  When Collins sang, “I can feel it coming in the air tonight,” he was not talking about bull semen.  At least, I hope he wasn’t.  (Oh, Lord….)

I really don’t know what to make of season 4.  Trudy’s going to space.  Crockett’s married.  The Vice Squad is searching for bull semen.  Yet somehow, through it all, Castillo continues to just stare at the floor and speak through gritted teeth.  Like seriously, shouldn’t Castillo be concerned about all this weird stuff going on?

I didn’t care much for this episode.  Searching for bull semen is a Pacific Blue thing.  Miami Vice needs to handle real cases and leave all that other stuff for the bike cops.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.10 “A Rock and a Hard Place”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

Sonny goes to Hollywood.

Episode 4.10 “A Rock and a Hard Place”

(Dir by Colin Bucksey, originally aired on January 22nd, 1988)

I guess I am going to have to accept that Miami Vice is no longer a show about two vice cops fighting a losing war against drug traffickers.  Instead, it’s now a show about an undercover cop who is married to a world famous rock star, even though it makes absolutely no sense.

In this episode, a tabloid reporter goes to Miami to do some research on this Sonny “Burnett.”  He hears a lot of stories about how Sonny Burnett is one of the city’s biggest drug dealers and he writes a story about it.  Sonny is upset, though one would think this would actually help him maintain his cover story.  Myself, I have to wonder how competent this reporter was.  Sonny Crockett has been established as having been a semi-famous college football star (Tubbs recognized him as soon as he met him) but no one ever seems to notice that Sonny Cockett and Sonny Burnett look, sound, and act exactly alike.  Considering the number of times that Crockett’s cover has gotten blown and that everyone who has ever done business with Sonny Burnett has ended up either getting arrested and gunned down by the police, you would think there would at least be some speculation about this guy being a cop.

(On a plus note, Don Henley’s Dirty Laundry played in the background while the reporter doing his thing.  That’s a song you can’t help but chair dance to.)

The majority of this episode dealt with a corrupt record executive (Tony Hendra) who was looking to get out of paying Sonny’s wife, Caitlin, the money that she was owed for her new album.  His solution was to have her assassinated and to make it look like she got caught in the crossfire of one of her husband’s drug deals.  Needless to say, it didn’t work.  Sonny gunned down the two assassins and then arrested the record executive.  “You’re a cop!?” the bad guy said, stunned.

And again, I have to wonder how this is not going to blow Sonny’s cover.  Is the press really not going to ask why Caitlin’s criminal husband just arrested the guy releasing her latest album?

This episode had all sorts of plot holes and it asked the audience to suspend their disbelief just a bit too far.  But at least it didn’t features Crockett and Tubbs searching for a stolen shipment of bull semen.  That’ll be next week’s episode!

(Seriously, I’m not kidding….)

I miss the old Miami Vice.  Seriously, the city’s drug business is probably booming because Crockett and Tubbs are wasting their time with all of this season 4 nonsense.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.10 “Love At First Sight”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, as the drug epidemic rages out of control, Sonny searches for a serial killer.

Episode 4.10 “Love At First Sight”

(Dir by Don Johnson, originally aired on January 15th, 1988)

What the Hell, Miami Vice?

Seriously, remember when this show was about Crockett and Tubbs going after drug dealers while Phil Collins played in the background?  Season 4 feels like a completely different show.

This week’s episode finds Sonny going undercover (*massive eye roll as Sonny does his, “My name is Sonny Burnett” routine for the thousandth time*) and joining a video dating service.  The plan is for Sonny to bust prostitutes but instead, he finds himself as the latest client to be targeted by a serial killer.

Sonny goes on dates, never knowing if the woman he’s with is a killer.  One woman approaches him with something behind her back.  Is it a knife?  No, it’s a vibrator!  “I can see the headlines now — Undercover cop slugs woman after assault with a sex toy!” Sonny says while wearing a yellow sweater and having a nice grapefruit breakfast at his mansion.

Meanwhile, cocaine is flooding Miami, the crack epidemic is spiraling out of control, there are communist taking over Central America, Fidel Castro is still alive, there’s a lot of going on out there and apparently it’s being ignored so Sonny can be used as serial killer bait — hey Vice Squad, why don’t you let the homicide detective deal with the murders while you get back to what you’re supposed to be doing?

Caitlin, Sonny’s wife, worries.  Oh, how she worries.  Her best friend tells her that she’s knew what she was getting into when she married a cop.  If Sonny is trying to maintain his undercover identity, should Caitlin be telling people that she married a cop?  Shouldn’t she be like, “I’m married to drug dealer!  His name’s Burnett and he just looks like that guy who used to play college football?”  That Sheena Easton was not a professional actress is pretty obvious in this episode.  When she previously appeared, she was a singer playing a singer and that brought some authenticity to her performance.  Now, she’s having to pretend to be the worried wife of a cop and her acting limitations are much more easier to see.

The killer is eventually revealed to be a woman (played by David Bowie’s future wife, Iman) with multiple personalities.  When she feels threatened, she turns into her brother and uses a knife to castrate the men from the dating service.  Will Sonny survive?  Yes, he does.

Don Johnson directed this episode and usually, when a cast member directs an episode of their show, their character tends to take a background role so they can concentrate on directing.  Not our Don!  This episode is so much about Sonny that the rest of the Vice Squad is barely in it.

This episode really made me miss the subtlety of Brian Dennehy playing a televangelist or James Brown kidnapping people for aliens.  Get it together, Miami!

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.9 “The Rising Sun of Death”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, the Yakuza invades Miami.

Episode 4.9 “The Rising Sun of Death”

(Dir by Leon Ichaso, originally aired on May 27th, 1988)

Castillo is concerned.  The murder of an American businessman leads him to suspect that the Yakuza has come to Miami and it turns out that he’s right.  Riochi Tanaka (James Hong), a World War II war criminal-turned-mobster, is trying to take over the Miami underworld.  While corrupt Homicide Detective Haskell (R. Lee Ermey) tries to convince everyone that the Yakuza is just a myth, Castillo teams up with Japanese detective Kenji Fujitsu (Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa) to takes down Tanaka and his right-hand man, Agawa (Danny Kamekoa).  Needless to say, this leads to a fight with samurai swords, a lot of talk of honor, and a seppuku to close the case.

This episode hit every Yakuza cliche and the plot itself felt as if it had been put together at the last minute.  (This is one of those episodes where every plot hole is dismissed as being a cultural difference.)  We’re expected to believe that Tanaka could outsmart the Allies during World War II but he couldn’t outsmart the Miami Vice Squad.  As well, of the major Japanese characters, only one was played by Japanese actor.  Danny Kamekoa is a Hawaiian while James Hong is of Chinese descent.

That said, this episode was shot and filmed with a lot of style and it found an excuse to play Billy Idol’s Flesh For Fantasy during one of the early scenes.  There’s something to be said for that.  Neither Crockett nor Tubbs really did much in this episode but we did get to see Crockett house hunting with Cailtin.  It’s mentioned that everyone thinks that Caitlin’s new husband is named Sonny Burnett instead of Sonny Cockett.  That’s fine …. except for the fact that Sonny Crockett has previously been established as a bit of a minor celebrity, a college football star who would have gone on to the NFL if he hadn’t injured his knee.  Every time this show tries to convince me that Crockett has fooled everyone into thinking he’s Sonny Burnett, it just further convinces me that there’s no way Crockett and Tubbs should still be doing undercover assignments.

This episode was stylish but empty but, considering some of the other episodes that have aired during this season, at least it was entertaining.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.8 “Like A Hurricane”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

Crockett gets married!  Huh?

Episode 4.8 “Like a Hurricane”

(Dir by Colin Bucksey, originally aired on November 20th, 1987)

Crockett is upset when he’s assigned to serve as a bodyguard to singer Caitlin Davies (Sheena Easton).  Caitlin is a witness to the criminal activity of music industry executive Tommy Lowell (Xander Berkeley) and the Vice Squad is worried that he might send someone to kill her.  Crockett doesn’t have much use for celebrities and Caitlin doesn’t have much use for a cop continually telling her what to do.  But after Crockett saves Caitlin’s life multiple times, they fall in love and the episode ends with Crockett and Caitlin getting married.

Wow, Crockett got married!

I mean, is Caitlin going to live on his boat?  Is the crocodile going to be okay with this?  For that matter, wouldn’t the fact that he just married a celebrity make it difficult for Crockett to continue his undercover work as Sonny Burnett?  I mean, I imagine there was a lot of press coverage of the marriage.  Caitlin, we’re told, is a pretty big deal.

Honestly, Crockett getting married should have been a big moment but this episode just fell flat.  The main problem is that Don Johnson and Sheena Easton didn’t have much romantic chemistry so their sudden love for each felt as if it came out of nowhere.  Sonny getting married that quickly seemed a bit out-of-character for him.  This episode, like much of season 4, felt like it was mostly the result of the writers grasping at straws to find something new to do with the show.  Last week, Trudy got kidnapped by aliens.  This week, Crockett got married.  Maybe next week, Tubbs will take on the Yakuza.  Who knows?  At this point, it all feels random.

We’ll see what happens.  For now, here’s Sheena Easton performing one of my favorite Bond songs.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.7 “Missing Hours”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, it’s the most infamous episode of Miami Vice ever!

Episode 4.7 “Missing Hours”

(Dir by Ate De Jong, originally aired on November 13th, 1987)

This is an episode that I had been waiting for years to see.  From the moment I decided to review Miami Vice, I started to read about and hear about this seventh episode of the four season.  This was the episode was supposedly so bad that many people consider it to be the point that Miami Vice “jumped the shark.”  This is the episode were James Brown plays a white-suited singer named Lou de Long, who has going from performing songs to giving lectures about UFOs.  (James Brown is essentially playing himself, right down to the presence of I Feel Good on the soundtrack.)  This is the episode where Trudy disappears for 12 hours and then returns with no firm memories of where she was.  This is the episode where even Crockett and Tubbs see a UFO.  Even though his appearance here does not receive as much attention as much a James Brown’s, Chris Rock made his television debut as a nerdy technician named Carson who was into UFOs.  Carson mentions getting his information for “computer bulleting boards” and everyone looks at him as if he’s speaking Esperanto.

This is the episode that is frequently cited as being the worst in Miami Vice history and really, who am I to disagree?

It pains me to say that.  I really wanted to like this episode, just because it is so strange and and I’ve always been a bit of a contrarian at heart but …. no, this episode really doesn’t work.  The sad truth of the matter is that, for all of his other talents, James Brown was a lousy actor and, with the exception of Michael Talbott and Philip Michael Thomas (who both appear to be having fun), the regular cast gives performance that suggest they all knew this episode was a bad idea.  Miami Vice was at its best when it was a cynical and downbeat show about the futility of the war on drugs.  There’s really no reason for Miami Vice to ever do a science fiction-themed episode.  Somehow, this is the second such episode to air during the fourth season.

Of course, the episode’s most unforgivable sin is that it ends with Trudy waking up in bed.  Not only is that ending a cop out but it’s also pretty rude to anyone who was actually trying to follow the plot or who was actually worried about whether or not Trudy had been brainwashed by the aliens.  Perhaps if this had been a Halloween episode, all of this could have been excused but apparently, this episode aired in the middle of November.

Poor Trudy.  Seriously, Olivia Brown didn’t really get many episode built around her character.  It’s a shame that, when they gave her one, it was this one.  Next week on Miami Vice, who knows?  I’m on vacation.  We’ll see what happens!

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.6 “God’s Work”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

After a two-week hiatus, the retro television reviews are back!  Let’s start with Miami Vice.

Episode 4.6 “God’s Work”

(Dir by Jan Eliasberg, originally aired on November 6th, 1987)

Father Ernesto Lupe (Daniel Lugo), an old friend of Castillo’s, runs an AIDS hospice in Miami.  When Father Ernesto is shot and murdered, Castillo takes a particular interest in the case.

Was Father Ernesto shot by one of the neighborhood homophobes, the same punks who spend their free time spray-painting obscene graffiti on the front doors of the hospice?

Was Father Ernesto’s death connected to his brother-in-law, notorious drug lord Jorge Cruz (Alfonso Arau)?  The Vice Squad has been investigating the Cruz family.  Francesco (Franceso Quinn) is the brutish son, the one who enjoys throwing his weight around and who goes out of his way to bully everyone that he meets.  Felipe (Esai Morales) is the young son, who has just returned from Miami after making a fortune as a stockbroker in New York.  Is Felipe looking to take over the family business?

Actually, Felipe wants nothing to do with the family business.  He’s returned to Miami because an ex-boyfriend is a patient at the AIDS hospice and Felipe wanted to spend time with him before he died.  And Father Ernesto’s death had nothing to do with drugs.  Instead, Jorge shot him because Jorge blamed Ernesto’s sermons, which stressed God’s love above all else, for being responsible for Felipe “becoming” gay.  Even after Felipe explains that the sermons had nothing to do with it and that he’s always been gay, Jorge still thinks that he can “cure” his son by making him a part of the family business.

Yikes!

There was a lot going on in this episode.  In fact, there was almost too much going on.  Between Castillo investigating Ernesto’s death and Tubbs (working undercover) trying to arrest Franceso, this episode sometimes felt a bit overstuffed.  It was still an effective episode, though, featuring good performances from Arau, Quinn, Morales, and Edward James Olmos.  Castillo actually got to laugh at one point in this episode.  I don’t think that’s ever happened before.

This episode did remind me — as I think almost every episode does — that Crockett and Tubbs undercover work has never made much sense.  Tubbs spends the majority of the first half of the episode pretending to be a criminal looking to make a deal with Francisco.  That’s fine.  It even allows Tubbs to use his fake Caribbean accent.  It’s been a while since we’ve heard that.  But then, after Father Ernesto is shot, Tubbs shows up at the crime scene with his badge.  Now, seriously, Father Ernesto is Francesco’s uncle.  Francesco is a suspect in the murder.  Why would Tubbs run the risk of blowing his cover like that?  For that matter, why was Vice investigating a homicide?

Even when Vice is good, it often doesn’t make sense.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.5 “Child’s Play”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Sonny is too quick to fire his gun.

Episode 4.5 “Child’s Play”

(Dir by Vern Gillum, originally aired on October 30th, 1987)

This is a dark, dark episode.

While breaking up what appears to be a case of domestic violence between Annette McAllister (Danitra Vance) and Walker Monroe (Ving Rhames), Sonny thinks that he spots someone holding a gun in the next room.  Sonny fires through the wall, hitting a 13 year-old boy who Annette claims is her son, Jeffrey.  While Jeffrey McCallister lies in a coma, a guilt-ridden Sonny starts to think about his ex-wife and their son, Billy.  They live upstate and it’s been a while since Sonny visited.  When Sonny does visit, he learns that his ex-wife’s fiancé wants to adopt Billy after the wedding.

Meanwhile, back in Miami, it turns out that there is no Jeffrey McAllister and that the boy who Sonny shot was actually a child soldier, recruited into a gang at an early age so that he couldn’t be sent to prison if arrested.  It turns out that Walker and Annette are both involved in a gunrunning operation that is headed up by Holliday (Isaac Hayes).  It all leads to one of those patented Miami Vice-style action sequences where Crockett, more or less, allows Walker to fall to his death.  Sonny is definitely not in a good mood for the majority of this episode.

Child’s Play could have just as easily been titled The Don Johnson Emmy Submission Episode.  This episode revolves entirely around Crockett and his feelings of guilt over shooting a child and also his fear of losing his son.  Johnson does a pretty good job in this episode.  Over the course of season 3 and the first few episodes of season 4, it really has sometimes seemed as if Crockett was losing his edge.  This episode presents us with the return of self-destructive, end-of-his-rope Sonny and not even Johnson’s mullet can distract from the drama.

Thematically, this episode is pretty bleak.  We never really learn much about the kid who was shot by Crockett, other than that he has a pretty sizable criminal record for a 13 year-old.  By the end of the episode, he’s woken up from his coma but, assuming that he is capable of leaving the hospital, he’s still wanted on several murder charges.  The kid basically has no future, even if he does make it to adulthood.  Meanwhile, Sonny’s son is growing up without his father and, when Sonny does visit him, there’s really not much of a connection between the two of them.

In other words, everyone’s doomed.  This was not a happy episode but, then again, Miami Vice was rarely a happy show.