Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi: The Next Generation, which aired from 2001 to 2015!  The series can be streamed on YouTube and Tubi.

This week, Terri has a boyfriend!

Episode 3.10 “Never Gonna Give You Up”

(Dir by John Bell, originally aired on November 19th, 2003)

Hey, it’s Rick Murray!

When last we saw Rick (played by Ephraim Ellis), he was the shy, nerdy-but-cute guy leaving flowers at Terri’s locker. When this episode starts, Terri and Rick have been dating for a while. From the outside, Rick seems sweet, romantic, and utterly devoted to Terri. Jimmy and Spinner both think he’s a little weird, but Hazel and Paige insist he’s perfect for her.

The truth is that Rick is controlling, arrogant, and easily offended. In private, he loses his temper fast. In Ms. Kwan’s scene-study class, he’s in a group with Jimmy, Hazel, and Terri, assigned to bring to life a one-act written by budding playwright and actor Marco. Rick wants to direct. When Jimmy takes that job, Rick agrees to be stage manager. That’s right, folks! Rick is one of those people who likes to work crew. Anyone who ever did theater in high school knows how annoying those people were. (Seriously, you’d come offstage glowing because you’d just given the best performance of your life and some lighting-crew dork would go, “You nearly missed your mark.” Like, seriously, just shut up and stay out of my way, you weirdo.)

Marco takes the lead male role. Jimmy gives the nurse to Hazel and then announces that Terri will be the female lead. Terri is stunned and excited. Rick is immediately defensive, telling her it’s obvious Jimmy “has a thing for you. Why else would he give you the female lead?” (I think it may have had something to do with Terri being the last person left.)

This episode follows a pattern that will be painfully familiar to anyone who has ever been in an abusive relationship. Rick gives Terri a pile of overly technical acting notes that make her look stupid onstage. When she gets upset, he grabs her wrist and leaves a bruise. Then he buys her flowers and apologizes. When Terri says she’s having a girls’ night with Paige and Hazel and Rick can’t come because “it’s just for girls,” he backhands her and leaves her with a swollen lip. (Hazel sees the lip and immediately knows Terri is lying about a cold sore.) When Terri says she needs time to herself and that Rick is suffocating her, he shoves her against a wall. Terri announces that she’s done with him.

Unfortunately, every Degrassi watcher knows that isn’t true. This episode may end with Terri throwing away the flower Rick left at her locker, but we know he’ll be back in a few episodes. We also know Season 4 is basically the season of Rick Murray’s revenge.

It’s an episode with a commendable message and a good performance from Ephraim Ellis. That said, as I rewatched it, I found myself obsessing over just how bad Marco’s little scene was. Marco played Ray, a dying man, and spoke in an exaggerated Italian accent. Hazel was the nurse who told Terri (playing Ray’s mother) that Ray was not going to live. In the episode, Terri takes the blame for everyone laughing at the play’s big dramatic beat, but I think the real culprit was Marco’s writing. “We do not always get what we want .… or want what we get.” I’ve always assumed the play was meant as a parody of bad teenage dramatics. At least, I hope it was.

The B-plot is an amusing little prank war between Spinner and J.T. Spinner is sick of J.T. hanging around Paige, so among other things he plasters the inside of J.T.’s locker with glamour photos of Mr. Raditch and slips a romantic poem under Raditch’s office door. J.T. responds by showing up at The Dot and being such an obnoxious customer that Spinner, waiting tables, loses his temper. Spinner gets in trouble with his boss and is demoted to — get this– “dish pig.” Is that an actual job? I mean, I guess he’s washing dishes, but “dish pig” is a really vivid way to put it. It’s certainly better than anything Marco ever wrote. J.T. and Spinner call a truce, but not before Ms. Kwan gets a love poem from “Spinner.”

This week’s episode was classic Degrassi. I liked that the ultra-dark Rick Murray storyline was balanced with JT and Spinner acting like idiots. That’s high school for you.

Next week, it’s Christmas in Canada!