6 Trailers For Hard Men And The Women Who Have To Put Up With Them


Hi there and welcome to another edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation trailers!  Today, we bring you 6 trailers specifically made to appeal to audiences made up of hard men and the women who have to put up with them.

1) Phantom Soldiers (1988)

Let’s start things off with this trailer from the Philippines.  I never thought I’d see a trailer as violent as the trailer for Massacre Mafia Style but then I came across this one for Phantom Soldiers.  “You’re a hard man…but the answer is no.”

2) Megaforce (1982)

This appears to be the family friendly version of Phantom Soldiers.  I always love how these trailers for obviously terrible movies always claim to be bringing “the greatest spectacle ever” to audiences.  Myself, I want to find and slap whoever thought it was a good idea for the bearded guy to wear a powder blue headband while talking about how the good guys always win “…even in the 80s!”

3) The Junkman (1982)

I guess if families weren’t watching the bearded man in the skin-tight outfit and the blindingly blue headband, they were witnessing the “chase thriller for the 80s…JUNKMAN!”

4) Terror in the Midnight Sun (1959)

I’ve never seen this film nor had I ever heard of it until I came across this trailer on YouTube.  But I think that our readers who happen to be creature movie fans will enjoy this one.

5) The One-Armed Executioner (1983)

All this exposure to grindhouse and exploitation films must be getting to me because I kept expecting someone to go, “That’s not my arm, baby,” as I watched this trailer.  Agck!

6) She-Devils On Wheels (1968)

After all that, it’s time for some girl power, don’t you think? From director Herschell Gordon Lewis, who also directed the Gruesome Twosome.  “This picture is not for children…”

Grindhouse Classics : “The Gruesome Twosome”


Ask most people what their favorite Herschell Gordon Lewis flick is, and the common answers you’re likely to hear will be either Blood Feast, 2,000 Maniacs, or  The Gore-Gore Girls, with the occasional vote for The Wizard Of Gore simply because it was mentioned in Juno, they saw it due to the fact that Diablo Cody gave it her “certified cool” stamp of approval, and they then proceeded to go no further in the “Godfather of Gore”‘s cinematic ouevre than that.

Fair enough. But for this armchair critic’s money, Lewis’ most fun — and most deranged (they usually go hand-in-hand with HGL) — work is 1967’s The Gruesome Twosome. The premise is pure genius, the humor is right up there at the forefront, and it’s as subtle as a hammer-blow to the forehead. What more could you possibly ask for?

Old Mrs. Pringle (Elizabeth Davis) is an eccentric yet hopelessly entrepreneurial senior citizen who runs not one, but two home-based businesses — a wig shop downstairs primarily catering to co-eds from the local college (yes, there was once a day when wigs were considered very hip fashion accessories by the under-65-and-without-cancer set), and a boarding house  upstairs that pretty much rents rooms solely to — those same co-eds from the local college. It doesn’t take a seasoned exploitation viewer like myself or unobtainium13 vet Lisa Marie Bowman (who you can either thank, or blame, for getting me to start contributing to this site) to figure out at this point why Mrs. Pringle’s wigs have such fine-quality, completely-realistic-feeling hair, does it?

Well, okay, in case you’re slow on the uptake,the not-so-good Mrs. P.’s demented full-grown son, Rodney (Chris Martell), is taking the girls into the back room of the shop, scalping them, and then killing them — thus ensuring that their “room for rent” sign never has to come down, and that they never run out of wigs. And this is almost always shown in loving, close-up, excruciating, far-less-than-realistic detail. Truth be told, although Lewis had taken something of an extended hiatus from the gore genre he basically started single-handedly  before returning to it with this film, he hadn’t been away so long that he forgot we wouldn’t have it any other way and he knew that his job was simply to deliver the goods. Sure, there’s a “plot” here of sorts — college student Kathy Baker (Gretchen Wells), a self-appointed “female James Bond,” starts doing the cops’ job for them and investigating the disappearances of all her classmates when one of her fellow residents of the all-girls’ dormitory doesn’t come home one night, much to the chagrin of her boyfriend, but as with any Lewis film, the payoff here comes primarily in the form of the ingenious set-up and the resultant heavy doses of viscera said set-up inevitably gives rise to — the rest is all filler.

And it’s the quality of that filler that sets The Gruesome Twosome apart. Whether it’s the truly hysterical conversation between two styrofoam wig-form heads at the beginning of the film (a scenario Lewis had to improvise quickly on the fly to pad out the runtime to 70 minutes when the original opening scene was inadvertently destroyed, thus making it a genuine example of necessity being the accidental mother to genius), or the extended slapstick-style sequence where Kathy sics the cops on the poor German- immigrant gardener/handyman who works at the school who just likes to bury bones for his dog in his back yard, or Mrs. Pringle’s constant back-and-forth (in her mind, at any rate) dialogue with her stuffed bobcat, Napoleon, the downright clever nature of the padding in this film marks it as a cut above (pun only somewhat intended) its contemporaries.

As is the case with pretty much every Herschell Gordon Lewis flick, The Gruesome Twosome is available on DVD from Something Weird Video in a “special edition” that features a remastered (and quite nice-looking) full-frame transfer, remastered mono sound, a full-length, and very entertaining, commentary track from Lewis himself, and the ubiquituous-on-these-things “Gallery of Herschell Gordon Lewis exploitation artwork.” Definitely an essential purchase either on its own or as part of the HGL box set that also contains A Taste Of Blood, She-Devils On Wheels, Something Weird, The Wizard Of Gore and The Gore-Gore Girls. If you haven’t got it, get it — and if you’ve got it already, there’s no such thing as a bad time to watch it again. Have fun — and don’t touch my hair.

6 Trailers That Did Not Win Any Golden Globes


First off, allow me to again apologize for being late with my weekly trailer post.  I had some asthma issues that basically left me fairly useless on both Friday and Saturday.  Still, better late than never.  In this latest edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers, we acknowledge some films that were NOT nominated for Golden Globes.

1) The Flesh Eaters (1964)

I just recently got this one on DVD but I haven’t watched it yet.  Of course, I love any trailer that starts out with a countdown.

2) Beach Girls and the Monster (1965)

The star of the film (which apparently co-stars the Watusi Dancing Girls), John Hall, was briefly a star back in the 1930s.  This was his attempt at a comeback film and he ended up committing suicide after it was released.

3) Blast-Off Girls (1967)

This film was directed by the infamous Herschell Gordon Lewis.  I want to be a blast-off girl!

4) Monsters Crash The Pajama Party (1969)

I don’t own this one on DVD, mostly because I’m kinda scared that if I watch it, a monster will pop out of the TV screen and try to drag me off to somewhere. 

5)  The Fat Black Pussycat (1963)

Awwww, cute little kitty!

6) Mortuary (1983)

Agck!  This trailer is actually scary.

Horror Film Review: 2,000 Maniacs! (dir. by Herschell Gordon Lewis)


Watching last night’s Broadway-themed episode of South Park got me to thinking about how much I love going to musicals, which naturally also got me to think about one of my favorite musicals: Brigadoon Brigadoon is about a ghostly Scottish village that only appears for one day every hundred years.  It was made into a film starring Cyd Charisse who is one of my favorite dancers of all time and who was also from Texas, just like me.    I first saw Brigadoon when I was 10 years old and I immediately fell in love with the film and I’ve devoted a lot of time lobbying for various high schools, college, and community theaters to put on a production of Brigadoon just so I can be in it.  Brigadoon is a pretty important film to me and, oddly enough, I have since discovered that it served as the basis for one of the most iconic drive-in films of all time, Herschell Gordon Lewis’ 1964 “gore film” 2,000 Maniacs.

In Two Thousand Maniacs, 6 people from up north (that’s a polite way of saying that they’re a bunch of obnoxious Yankees) end up getting stranded in the small Southern town of Pleasant Valley.  The overly friendly and accommodating townspeople explain that this is the Centennial Celebration of the day that the original Pleasant Valley was destroyed by the Union Army during the Civil War.  The Yankees are invited to take part in the celebrations and since they’re a bunch of condescending toadsuckers from the wrong side of the Mason-Dixon Line, they agree.  Hilarity ensues as the citizens of Pleasant Valley proceed to celebrate with traditions like sack races, bluegrass music, and finding different ways to dismember Yankee visitors who aren’t smart enough to leave town.  Since this is a Herschell Gordon Lewis movie, we not only get to see the dismemberments in full color detail but we also don’t actually care enough about the people being killed to be too upset at the notion.

I know that a lot of my fellow grindhouse film fans absolutely love Herschell Gordon Lewis and his own unique brand of exploitation cinema.  Though I’ve enjoyed some of his films (Scum of the Earth and Something Weird come to mind) , I find Mr. Lewis to be more interesting as a character than as a director and I fear I might be too jaded to ever truly understand how “shocking” his gore-themed films apparently were.  (Of course, I should also admit to the fact that Lewis was a very prolific director and I’ve only seen a handful of his many films.)  That said, I think 2,000 Maniacs is probably Lewis’s best film and certainly the closest he ever came to making a film that actually felt like a real movie (as opposed to a gruesome home movie).  The story has a nice sort of rural legend feel to it, the murderous town’s people are well-cast, and a few of the film’s death scenes are genuinely disturbing.  (The barrel full of nails still makes me shudder and go “agck!”)  All in all, this is a very effective, fast-paced little horror movie and an obvious precursor for all future menacing redneck films.  Without 2,000 Maniacs, there would be no Straw Dogs but we won’t hold that against it.  (Well, maybe just a little…)

Ultimately, 2,000 Maniacs is a film for everyone.  Northerners will enjoy seeing the worst fears and prejudices of the South confirmed.  Meanwhile, Southerners (like me) will get the pleasure of seeing a bunch of smug Yankees get chopped up into little pieces.  It’s a win-win.

6 Trailers In Search Of a Title


Without further delay, here’s the latest edition of Lisa’s favorite grindhouse and exploitation trailers.

1) Something Weird (1967)

I just had to start out with this because it represents everything that I love about these old school exploitation trailers.  It’s just so shameless and cheerful about it all.  This film is from Herschell Gordon Lewis and it features ESP, a really kinda scary witch, and a random LSD trip.  The title of this film also inspired the name of one of my favorite companies, Something Weird Video.  (I make it a point to buy something from Something Weird every chance I get.  My most recent Something Weird video is a film from the 60s called Sinderella and the Golden Bra.  Haven’t gotten a chance to watch it yet but with a title like that, how could it be bad?)

2) Fade to Black (1980)

This is actually a really, really bad movie and I think the trailer goes on for a bit too long but it does have a few vaguely effective moments — i.e., when Dennis Christopher stares at the camera with half of his face painted.  Plus, you can catch a young Mickey Rourke acting a lot like Michael Madsen. 

3) Monster Shark (1984)  

Now you may think that since this Italian film was directed by Lamberto Bava (credited here as John Old, Jr. because his father, Mario, was occasionally credited as John Old, Sr.) and has the word “shark” in the title that it’s yet another rip-off of Jaws.  Well, joke’s on you because, as they state repeatedly in the trailer, “It’s not a shark!”  Even if you didn’t know this was an Italian film before watching the trailer, it wouldn’t be hard to guess.  First off, there’s the dubbing.  Then there’s the scene of the film’s main character wandering around aimlessly.  (Most Italian horror trailers feature at least one scene of someone just walking around.)  And finally, there’s the fact that this is yet another trailer that uses a sped-up version of Goblin’s Beyond The Darkness soundtrack for its background music.  While I haven’t seen this film yet, I plan to just to find out who Bob is.

 4) Van Nuys Boulevard (1979)

Originally, I was planning on including the trailer for a Ted V. Mikels’ film called The Worm Eaters right here but I reconsidered because, quite frankly, The Worm Eaters is one of the most disgusting, stomach-churning things I’ve ever seen.  I’m going to wait until I find five other equally disgusting trailers to feature it with and then I’m going to put them all up under the heading: 6 Trailers To Inspire Vomit.  Until then, enjoy a far more pleasant trailer — Van Nuys Blvd.  This trailer rhymes!  I’m tempted to say that I could have written it but then again, I only write free verse poetry.  Anyway, where was I?  Oh yeah, Van Nuys Blvd.

5) Vice Squad (1982)

However, there was a darker side to Van Nuys Blvd. and here it is: Vice Squad, starring Wings Hauser.  Eventually, I’ll review this film but until I do, check out our new friend Trash Film Guru’s review.

6) Crosstalk (1982)

We’ll conclude with the only thing scarier than Wings Hauser in Vice Squad — a computer that has not only witnessed a murder but enjoyed it!

6 Trailers For Clint Jun Gamboa


As I type this, I am soooooooooooooooooooooooo ticked off.  I just finished watching Thursday’s episode of American Idol and I now know that Clint Jun Gamboa did not make the final 13.  Before trying out for this season of American Idol, Gamboa worked on the soundtrack for the infamous Tommy Wiseau film The Room.  That’s right, the man who wrote “Crazy” and “Baby You And Me,” will not be competing for a chance to be the next American Idol.  That’s just wrong.  What’s even worse is that they sent Gamboa on his way without ever once acknowledging The Room.  They could have at least given him a plastic spoon.

So, Clint Jun Gamboa, if you’re reading this, this latest edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers is dedicated to you.  Le monde est chié, Gamboa. Bonne chance.

1) A Boy And His Dog (1975)

Because it’s for Clint, let’s start out with a trailer for a classic, 1975’s A Boy and His Dog.  Clint, if you’re feeling down — well, I don’t know you well enough to know if this movie will help or not.  It’s kinda one of those you either get or you don’t. 

2) Hi, Mom (1970)

Yes, I know.  The title makes it sound like a prequel to the Room.  “Oh hai, mom.”  Actually, it’s just a very early film from director Brian DePalma.  The movie also stars a very young and very unknown Robert De Niro.

3) The Harrad Experiment (1973)

This is one of those films that I’ve got on DVD but I need to rewatch it so I can review it.  I do remember that the DVD transfer was so bad that it actually started out with one of those “this is made from the best copy we could find — it’s not our fault!” messages. 

4) Two Thousand Maniacs (1964)

Yes, here is the trailer for the groundbreaking exploitation film from Herschel Gordon Lewis.  Clint, this blood feast is for you.

5) Shriek of the Mutilated (1974)

I’ve got this one on DVD though I haven’t managed to stay awake through the entire film yet.  But I just love that title.

6) Mad Doctor of Blood Island (1969)

Sadly enough, the Perfectly Sane, Kinda Boring Doctor of Blood Island was located just a block away but everyone was too busy with the mad doctor to notice.

Stay supple, Clint!

Scenes I Love: Scum of the Earth


You know how there are certain scenes in certain movies that you just can’t get out of your mind?  Below is one of my favorites, the infamous “you’re damaged goods and this is a fire sale!” monologue from Herschell Gordon Lewis’s 1963 expose of the Hollywood smut trade, Scum of the Earth.