Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!
Oddly enough, this week’s episode is not available on Hulu. I had to purchase it on Prime. I’m not really sure why this episode — and apparently this episode alone — wouldn’t be on Hulu. The world of Streaming is a strange and arbitrary place.
Episode 1.8 “Tweety and Ralph”
(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on December 20th, 1982)
Dr. Craig is still trying to track down the mysterious Dr. Barnum, the man who says that he’s interested in Craig’s convertible. Dr. Craig is constantly getting messages from Barnum. He’s constantly hearing Barnum being paged on the PA. Craig has become obsessed with tracking down the elusive Dr. Barnum.
Of course, Dr. Barnum does not exist. What started as a practical joke on the part of Dr. Samuels has grown into a hospital-wide conspiracy of people playing with the emotions of the pompous and prickly Dr. Craig. Craig is so obsessed with selling his car that he even cuts his hand while working on the engine. Finally, Dr. Craig’s wife, Ellen (played by William Daniels’s real-life wife, Bonnie Bartlett), confronts Samuels and tells him that she knows what he’s doing. When Samuels hears that Craig cut his hand, he feels guilty. He knows how important a surgeon’s hands are. Samuels finally works up the courage to tell Craig the truth. Craig laughs. And then he punches out Dr. Samuels.
And you know what? Dr. Samuels totally deserved it. Good for you, Dr. Craig!
(Everyone seems to have forgiven Dr. Samuels for causing a VD break-out during the pilot. They’re very forgiving at St. Eligius.)
Meanwhile, the Legionnaire’s outbreak is finally contained, with the culprit being one dirty shower head. Ward 5 is re-opened! Yay! Dr. Westphall celebrates his victory but still comes across as being the most depressed man on the planet. While that goes on, Dr. Fiscus reveals that he now carries a gun so he won’t get mugged in the ER again and Dr. Cavanero considers her decision to devote her life to her career when a friend check into the hospital for hysterectomy.
That said, the majority of the episode centered around Ralph (Richard Marcus) and Jane (Laraine Newman), two psychiatric patients. Jane is pregnant and Ralph is the father. Ralph is a genius who graduated at the top of his class from MIT and who invented his own personal computer. Unfortunately, he also thinks that he’s a bird and has been stealing medical supplies to build a giant nest in one of the supply closets. Jane wants to marry Ralph but, when she and Ralph go out to dinner with Dr. Beale, Jane can only watch in horror as Ralph panics at the sight of a cat. “Caw! Caw!” Ralph shouts as he jumps up on a chair. The cat, for its part, just looks confused.
In other words, the marriage is off. Jane tells Ralph that she’ll always love him but that she can’t be with him anymore. The episode ends with a close-up of Ralph intensely staring at the camera. Uh-oh, that doesn’t look good….
This was a weird but ultimately effective episode. I really shouldn’t have been as emotionally moved as I was by Ralph and Jane’s story. Ralph’s behavior was more than a little cartoonish. But, I have to admit that I felt really sad as Jane said goodbye to Ralph. Richard Marcus and Laraine Newman did such a good job playing the characters that I couldn’t help but be sad that things weren’t working out for them.
Oh well. I guess that’s just another day at St. Eligius….
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Hulu!
This week, the hospital’s in chaos!
Episode 1.7 “Legionnaires: Part Two”
(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on December 14th, 1982)
With one of the wards shut down due to a Legionnaires outbreak, the hospital is in crisis. All of the patients from the infected ward and their doctors have been moved to a new floor and now, everyone is stressed and overworked. Dr. Westphall insists to the Hospital Board that he has no regrets about shutting down the ward and that he did what he had to do. Westphall is vindicated when it turns out that he was correct about the Legionnaires outbreak but he still has to admit that administrator H.J. Cummings (Christopher Guest) has a point about Westphall’s actions causing a panic. Cummings argues that Westphall could have quietly closed the ward without alerting the media. In the end, it doesn’t matter as Cummings explains that he’ll be the one who gets fired over the bad publicity, not Westphall. The episode ends with Westphall returning to his small home, carrying the birthday present that he was supposed to give his son that day. Westphall has dedicated his life to the hospital and it’s obvious that his family has often had to wait until he has time for them.
(I’m starting to understand why Westphall always seems so damn depressed.)
Some people take advantage of the chaos. Two gang members (one of whom is played by a very young Robert Davi) hit Fiscus over the head and steal his wallet after Fiscus stitches up one of their hands. Peter White, eager to get away from his troubled marriage, shows up to work Morrison’s shift for him. Dr. Chandler glares at a nurse that he previously accused of unprofessional behavior. Dr. Craig tries to find someone foolish enough to buy his old convertible from him. And head nurse Helen Rosenthal finds herself being called over and over again to the room of patient Martha Mulvahey (Ann Bronston).
Poor Martha! She has a reputation for being a problem patient, because she’s always calling for the nurses and asking them to do things for her, like wash her hair or raise her bed. Only Helen is willing to put up with Martha but even Helen loses her temper when Martha asks for help putting on her makeup. Finally, Martha breaks down and explains that her arthritis is so severe that she can barely move her hands. She’s a librarian and she can’t even turn the pages of a book anymore. (Excuse me, I think I have something in my eye….) A friend is coming to visit her at the hospital and she just wants to look good for him because she doesn’t want him to remember her as someone who can’t even get out of a hospital bed. Helen helps Martha put on her makeup. At the end of the episode, the hospital may be in chaos but Martha gets to see her friend and that made me happy and brought even more tears to my eyes.
Meanwhile, psychiatric patient Jane Zontell (Laraine Newman) returns to the hospital and checks herself back in for treatment. Dr. Beale (G.W. Bailey) is shocked to learn that Jane is three months pregnant. But it’s only been two months since Jane was last a patient at St. Eligius so that father must be someone at the hospital. Uh-oh.
(Personally, I suspect Fiscus.)
This was a good episode. I cried for Martha. I felt bad for Westphall. I hope someone buys Dr. Craig’s car so he’ll stop bothering everyone else about it. This episode was about how bad things can get at a hospital but, with Martha and Rosenthal, it offered up some hope as well. All in all, it worked.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Hulu!
This week, Peter White continues to disappoint everyone.
Episode 1.6 “Legionnaires: Part One”
(Dir by Thomas Carter, originally aired on December 7th, 1982)
Dr. Peter White (Terence Knox) is perhaps the most incompetent doctor at St. Eligius. Over the course of the first few episodes, we have watched as he’s taken advantage of his fellow residents, been rude to patients, misdiagnosed obvious medical conditions, and complained nonstop about how difficult his life is. Dr. White is struggling to balance the punishing schedule of being a resident with also being a husband and the father to a young girl and a newborn. He’s in over his head.
What’s interesting is that, despite all of his problems, he’s not a particularly sympathetic character and I don’t think he’s meant to be. He’s never going to be a good doctor and he doesn’t have the courage to admit it. Instead of finding a career for which he’s suited, he insists on being a doctor and risking the life of anyone unlucky enough to be his patient. What makes Dr. White an especially disturbing character is that there are probably a lot of doctors in the real world who are just like him. They’re overwhelmed and they make stupid mistakes. I get overwhelmed sometimes too, as does everyone. And, like everyone, I occasionally make mistakes. However, my mistakes usually amount to something like missing a cringey typo that causes me to feel embarrassment until I get a chance to fix it. A doctor’s mistake can lead to people dying.
This week, Dr. White attempts to give penicillin to a patient who is allergic. Fortunately, Dr. Westphall is able to stop White from putting his patient into a coma. Dr. White also manages to lose his hospital-issued pager and, when he’s told that it will cost him $300 to get a new one, he freaks out. A chance meeting with a lawyer in the hospital cafeteria leads White to offer to sell out the hospital by recommending the lawyer to anyone willing to sue because they ended up with a doctor like Peter White. White finally raises the money by donating his sperm. The nurse at the sperm bank says that it’s really generous for a doctor to donate. Not this doctor!
While Peter is screwing up his life, Dr. Westphall is dealing with what appears to be an outbreak of Legionnaire’s Disease in one of the wards. Westphall wants to immediately shut down the ward. Dr. Auschlander and board member H.J. Cummings (Christopher Guest — yes, that Christopher Guest) disagree. However, after another young woman dies of what appears to be Legionnaire’s, Westphall orders the ward to be closed and the patients to be relocated.
Meanwhile, Kathy Martin broke up with Fiscus because she felt their fling was turning into a relationship and Dr. Cavanero dealt with a nurse who disliked her. Neither one of those subplots did much for me, though Kathy is emerging as one of my favorite characters on this show. Before breaking up with Fiscus, she goes to a funeral of a stranger just so he won’t be buried without someone there to mourn him. She wears white to the funeral. One doctor comments that she’s never seen Kathy wear white before. Kathy’s a great character and deserves better than just being Fiscus’s girlfriend.
This episode was an improvement over the last episode I watched. According to the title, it’s also only “Part One” so I imagine there will be some fallout over closing that ward next week. We’ll see what happens.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Hulu!
This week’s episode made me cry.
Episode 1.4 “Cora and Arnie”
(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on November 23rd, 1982)
While orderly Luther (Eric Laneuville) practices his karate moves in the hallway and anesthesiologist Vijay (Kavi Raz) composes a letter to his family in India and Dr. Fiscus continues his sex-only relationship with Kathy Martin, four patients learn about life and death at St. Eligius.
One of them is an unnamed man (Lionel Mark Smith) who comes in with a complaint of backpain. Fiscus examines him and discovers that the man has been shot in the back. The man announces that he’s on parole and he doesn’t feel like going back to prison. Fiscus offers to admit him under an assumed name but the man says he already gave his real name to the front desk. The man tries to leave the hospital but collapses from pain and blood loss. Later, when the man wakes up, Fiscus tells him that the bullet has been removed and he’ll be fine. The man says he won’t be fine because he’s going to go back to prison as soon as he leaves the hospital.
Meanwhile, Kathleen McAllister, who has been in a coma ever since Andrew Reinhardt set off a bomb at a bank, finally dies. Reinhardt, when he’s informed of the news, sneers. He doesn’t care that she died. He’s all about the class struggle. (If this show was made today, he’d have thousands of followers on Bluesky.) When Dr. Beale tries to examine him to determine if he’s mentally ill, Reinhardt spits in his face. Reinhardt is convinced that nothing will ever happen to him but, after Kathleen dies, he’s informed that he’s being taken to prison. As Reinhardt is rolled out of his hospital room, Kathleen’s husband (Jack Bannon) appears in the hallway and shoots him dead.
George (Bernard Behrens) and Lillian Rogers (Anne Gerety) are tourists who are visiting Boston. When Lillian faints in her hotel room, George rushes her to the hospital. Lillian says she’s feeling fine but she still goes through a series of tests to determine why she fainted. In the end, the tests are inconclusive. No one can figure out why she fainted so she’s told to just see her family doctor when she returns home. When George and Lillian check out of the hospital, they are presented with the bill for all the tests. George freaks out when he sees that he’s being charged …. $1,380.90!
Now, admittedly, that is $1,380.90 in 1982 money. If George received the same bill today, it would be for $4,517.10. Still, considering all the tests that Lillian had done, that seems remarkable cheap, even by today’s standards. My father died in August and the majority of his medical costs were covered by insurance but his estate is still receiving bills from various hospitals, specialists, and ambulance services. I’ve been told that the same thing happened when my mom passed away in 2008. (Personally, I think if someone dies while in your care, you’ve forfeited your right to be paid.) By today’s standards, having to pay less that $5,000 feels like a bargain!
Finally, and most heart-breakingly, Dr. Morrison takes care of a homeless woman named Cora (Doris Roberts), who comes into the hospital with her companion, Arnie (James Coco). Due to a head injury, Arnie is almost childlike. While Cora learns that a case of gangrene is going to kill her unless she gets her foot amputated, Arnie repeatedly asks, “Can we go now?” In the end, Cora chooses not to have the surgery, leaving the hospital with Arnie. As she explains to Dr. Morrison, someone has to take care of Arnie and she can’t do that with just one foot. When Morrison tells Cora that she’s probably going to die in a year, Cora shrugs and says it won’t be any great loss.
OH MY GOD! Seriously, I was in tears at the end of this episode. The Cora and Arnie story had the potential to be a bit too schmaltzy for its own but Doris Roberts and James Coco both gave such incredibly moving performances that I couldn’t help but get emotionally involved in their plight. And I understood why Cora made the decision that she did. Having been rejected by both her family and society, Cora knew that there wouldn’t be anyone around to take care of her after the operation. So, she decided to accept things the way that they were and spend her last year with the one person who didn’t judge her, Arnie. (I’m getting teary-eyed just writing about it.) Playing out against all the other petty dramas going on at the hospital, this storyline was emotionally devastating.
This was a powerful episode. Watching it, I understood why St. Elsewhere is so often described as being one of the best medical shows of all time.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Hulu!
This week, we get to know a very bad doctor.
Episode 1.3 “Down’s Syndrome”
(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on November 16th, 1982)
St. Eligius is home to several doctors, some of whom are good at their job and some of whom are really, really bad.
One of the bad ones appears to be Dr. Peter White (Terrence Knox), a resident who was in the background during the previous two episodes but who was at the center for a good deal of this episode. Peter has a terrible bedside manner, absolutely no social skills, and his knowledge of medicine appears to be subpar at best. When a homeless man comes in and complains of pain, Peter gives him a dose of potassium that nearly kills him. (Only the quick thinking of Dr. Ehrlich — who himself hardly appears to be the perfect doctor — keeps the patient alive.) Dr. White seems to be overwhelmed and it certainly doesn’t help that his wife is constantly calling the hospital and demanding to speak to him about every little thing. That said, it’s hard to have much sympathy for Dr. White. Yes, he’s overwhelmed but his mistakes nearly kill a man.
I have to admit that, as I watched Dr. Peter White on this week’s episode, I kept thinking about some of the doctors who treated my father after he had his car accident in May. Whenever I spoke to them, they would brusquely answer my questions, usually in technical language that reflected that it had been a long time since they talked anyone who hadn’t gone to medical school. At the time, I made the same excuses for them that I just made for Dr. White. They were young, they were busy, and they were overwhelmed. After my father died, though, I stopped making excuses for them and I instead just accepted that they weren’t very good at their job. And perhaps Dr. White should admit the same.
It doesn’t help that Dr. White is contrasted with Dr. Auschlander, a kind and elderly liver specialist who is battling cancer but who still manages to treat all of his patients with kindness and respect. The episode made it clear that all of the residents should hope to become a doctor like Dr. Auschlander. While Peter snaps at his patients and nearly kills a man, Auschlander takes the time to play cards with a woman who is dying. We should all be so lucky as to have an Auschlander in our life.
Finally, Brian Whitehill (Tony Bill) and his pregnant wife, Denise (Maureen Whitehill) are informed that their baby will be born with Down’s Syndrome. In a scene that brings to mind Icelandic eugenics, Brian suggests that Denise get an abortion but Denise refuses, especially when she learns that she’s going to have a son. (She already has two daughters.) A day later, Brian comes home from work and tells Denise that he’s realized that she’s right and he’s prepared to be the father of a special needs child. Denise replies that she had the abortion earlier in the day. Seriously, what a depressing story! That said, I respected what the show was doing here. The patients are just as important as the doctors.
(And while Denise is getting an abortion, Dr. Morrison is learning that he’s going to be a father and, in contrast to Brian Whitehill, joyfully cheering in the hospital stairwell.)
As with the previous episode, there was a lot going on in the background. Dr. Beale attempted to analyze terrorist Andrew Reinhardt (Tim Robbins), who is still basically acting like an arrogant prick. Kathleen McAllister, the victim of Reinhardt’s attack, is still in a coma. Dr. Westphall gave a tour of the hospital to two community leaders who both suggested that St. Eligius should shut down and move its operations to a wealthier neighborhood. Dr. Fiscus got a blow job in an elevator from Kathy Martin. (“Going down?” Fiscus asked the next guy who got on the elevator.) It was a busy day at the hospital! It was a good episode, even if it didn’t really have any of the big wow moments that the previous two episodes featured. This episode was more about following a few days in the life of a hospital and the emphasis was on the nonstop flow of patients and doctors, some of whom were doing their best and some of whom were on the verge of giving up. In the end, the main thing I took away from this episode was that there may not be enough Aucschlanders to make up for all the Peter Whites.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Hulu!
This week, William Daniels claims the show as his own.
Episode 1.2 “Bypass”
(Dir by Thomas Carter, originally aired on November 9th, 1982)
“Hey, it’s Tim Robbins!”
Yes, the future Oscar winner shows up in the second episode of St. Elsewhere, playing a rich kid-turned-terrorist named Andrew Reinhardt. Reinhardt, who no doubt learned all about Marxism during his first semester away at college, set off a bomb in a bank, killing two people and putting a woman named Kathleen McCallister into a coma. Both Reihnhardt and McCallister have been brought to St. Eligius. While Kathleen’s husband, Stephen (Jack Bannon), sobs in the hallway, Reinhardt acts like a petulant brat in his hospital room.
With the nurses refusing to change his sheets or even give him his morphine shots, it falls to Dr. Morrison to take care of him. Reinhardt is not at all appreciative and Morrison finds himself conflicted. How is he supposed to give proper medical treatment to someone who he despises? Morrison is so conflicted that he even goes to Dr. Westphall. Westphall responds by telling a long story about a time that he fell in love with a patient. I’m getting the feeling that Morrison feeling conflicted and Westphall telling long stories are both going to be regular features on this show.
(The correct answer to Morrison’s question about how he can take care of a bad person is as follows: It’s your job and you’re getting paid to do it.)
This episode also gave the viewer a chance to get to know Dr. Craig, the very talented but very egotistical head of surgery who is played by the great William Daniels. Dr. Craig holds a press conference to inform reporters about the conditions of both Reinhardt and Kathleen McCallister and declares that, despite its bad reputation, “St. Eligius is the place to be!” He then proceeds to get angry when the press is more interested in talking to the surgeon who actually saved Kathleen’s life than to him.
Dr. Craig browbeats a Mr. Broadwater (Robert Costanzo) into getting bypass surgery done. The surgery appears to have been a success but it’s hard to ignore that Craig essentially bullied the guy into getting a major operation, one that could have killed him if the least little thing had gone wrong. Resident Victor Ehrlich (Ed Begley, Jr.) assists in the operation and, at one point, Dr. Craig intentionally head butts him when Ehrlich cannot name all of the arteries leading into the heart. It’s a bit aggressive but, on the plus side, Ehrlich does learn all of the names. Afterwards, Dr. Craig brags about how his own son is following in his footsteps and tells Mr. Broadwater’s son that some day, a new Dr. Craig will operate on him. In other words, Dr. Craig is kind of a jerk but he’s good at what he does and he’s played by William Daniels so it’s hard to hold anything against him.
There were other subplots playing out in the background, the majority of which just seemed to be there to remind us that St. Elsewhere is an ensemble show and that, just because someone isn’t a major character in this episode, that doesn’t mean they won’t be important later on. Psychiatrist Hugh Beale (G.W. Bailey) attempted to learn how to swim and ended up taking a class with a bunch of children. Dr. Fiscus (Howie Mandel, the least convincing doctor ever) held court in the cafeteria and claimed that the hormones used in processing food were causing children to develop earlier than ever before. Dr. Peter White (Terrence Knox) wandered around with a bunch of X-rays and begged everyone he met to help him understand what he was (or wasn’t) seeing. If nothing else, this episode did a good job of capturing the idea of the hospital as being a place that’s always busy.
For the most part, though, it was Dr. Craig who carried this episode. While Morrison and Westphall ponderously considered the implications of doing their jobs, Craig was an arrogant, angry, and brilliant dynamo and William Daniels’s high-energy performance was a pleasure to watch. Whenever the episode started to slow down, Dr. Craig would liven things up by yelling at someone. The hospital was lucky to have Dr. Craig and St. Elsewhere was lucky to have William Daniels.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Hulu!
When I started reviewing Homicide, Jeff suggested that I should also review St. Elsewhere because the two shows shared a similar sensibility and a lot of behind-the-scenes personnel. (Homicide showrunner Tom Fontana started out as a writer on St. Elsewhere.) Apparently. a few characters from St. Elsewhere would eventually cross-over to Homicide. Since I’m planning on soon reviewing two shows that were descended from Homicide — Oz and The Wire — it only seemed right to also review a show that was Homicide’s ancestor.
Though the show aired largely before my time, St. Elsewhere is definitely a show that I have heard about. Everyone who follows American pop culture has either read about or seen the show’s infamous final episode and knows about the Tommy Westphall Universe Hypothesis. Obviously, I can’t get into it now because that would be a spoiler but we’ll discuss it when the time comes!
For now, let’s start at the beginning, with the pilot!
Episode 1.1 “Pilot”
(Dir by Thomas Carter, originally aired on October 26th, 1982)
St. Eligius is a hospital in Boston that has obviously seen better days. From the outside, it looks old. On the inside, the hallways have the dim and dull look of a building that hasn’t been renovated in over ten years. As Dr. Mark Craig (William Daniels, long before he played Mr. Feeney on Boy Meets World) angrily puts it, the hospital gets no respect in Boston. It’s seen as being a “dumping ground” for patients who can’t afford anything better. Dr. Craig is world-renowned heart surgeon whose wealthy patients have donated what few improvements the hospital has seen over the past few years. (“All of our clocks now read the same time!” Dr. Craig brags at one point.) But not even Dr. Craig can change the hospital’s reputation as being secondary to Boston General.
There are actually a few good things about St. Eligius. For one thing, a young Denzel Washington is on staff, playing resident Phillip Chandler. Denzel doesn’t get to do much in the pilot but still, his presence fills the viewer with confidence. St. Eligius is also home to a world-renowned liver specialist, Dr. Daniel Auschlander (played by Norman Lloyd, who also worked with Hitchcock and Orson Welles). Auschlander has liver cancer but the hospital chief-of-staff, Dr. Donald Westphall (Ed Flanders), assures everyone that Auschlander will probably “out live us all.” (And he was right, to an extent. Norman Lloyd lived to be 106 years old before passing away in 2021. Ed Flanders died, tragically by suicide, in 1995.) St. Eligius is a teaching hospital and the residents want to make a good impression by keeping their patients alive. That’s always a good thing.
At the same time, how secure can you feel when Howie Mandel is one of the residents? Mandel plays Dr. Wayne Fiscus, who wears a baseball cap and acts …. well, he acts a lot like Howie Mandel. Like Washington, Mandel doesn’t do a lot in the pilot. He does get a subplot where he apparently has sex in the morgue with goth pathologist Cathy Martin (Barbara Whinnery) but otherwise, we don’t see him treating a patient or anything like that. Still, it’s a bit jarring to see Howie Mandel as a doctor. I would not necessarily want him for my doctor because he’s to be easily distracted. Maybe he’ll change my mind as the series progresses.
Speaking of sex, Dr. Ben Samuels (David Birney) has gonorrhea and spends most of the pilot approaching doctors and nurses and informing them of his conditions and suggesting that they might want to get tested themselves. That’s not exactly the best way to be introduced to a character but it also lets us know that this show is not just going to be about dedicated doctors who spend all of their time worrying about their patients and making amazing medical discoveries. Instead, this show is also about doctors who get venereal diseases. Has anyone checked on Fiscus in the morgue?
(That said, Dr. Samuels does get a scene where he saves the life of a woman who was injured in a terrorist bombing, as if the show does want to make sure that we know that he can do his job, even if he is spreading VD through the hospital.)
The majority of the episode follows Dr. Jack Morrison (David Morse), a first-year resident who has been working several 24-hour shifts and who complains, at one point, that he hasn’t seen his wife for days. Dr. Morrison gets upset when a surgeon wants to operate on one of his patients, a 15 year-old girl named Sandy (Heather McAdams). Morrison believes that surgeons always want to cut into somebody. Morrison gets even more upset when Sandy’s mother requests that Sandy be transferred to Boston General, which has a reputation for being a better, more modern hospital. In fact, Morrison is so upset and exhausted that he forgets to file a death certificate for a patient who dies during the night. As a result, it’s believed that the patient, who has a reputation for being violent, has gone missing and is stalking the hospital. Dr. Annie Cavanero (Cynthia Sikes) spends the entire episode looking for a dead man, which at least gives her an excuse to visit every ward and introduce the viewers to the members of the show’s ensemble cast.
Having lost my mom to cancer and now my Dad to Parkinson’s, I was hesitant about reviewing St. Elsewhere. (Actually, I was hesitant about reviewing any medical show.) When my Dad was in the hospital, I felt like I couldn’t get anyone to give me a straight answer about his condition and I often felt the doctors were talking down to me. To be honest, my worst conflicts were with the nurses, one of whom told me that I would have to “lose the attitude” before she would explain why my father had been moved to the Delirium Ward. (It didn’t help that, at the same time my Dad was in the hospital, there was a huge storm that left us without power for a week.) At the same time, there were other doctors who were helpful. The staff at the rehab center that my dad was sent to were also wonderful. I have my regrets about agreeing to hospice care but the nurse who was assigned to my Dad was very empathetic and totally understanding whenever I asked her for a cigarette. (Under normal circumstances, I don’t smoke because I have asthma but seriously, the stress was killing me.) I’m bitter and angry about a lot of what happened but I’m also thankful for the small moments of kindness.
Watching a show set in a hospital was not easy for me but the pilot of St. Elsewhere appealed to me with its mix of melodrama and humor. There was a quirkiness to it that I appreciated. William Daniels made me laugh with his annoyed rant about how little respect the hospital received. Most of all, I cared about whether or not Dr. Morrison would still be alive at the end of his shift. David Morse’s performance won me over. He’s the type of doctor that I would want to have. Well, actually, I’d probably want Denzel to my doctor but Dr, Morrison could assist. Just keep Dr. Howie Mandel away from me. Nothing against him but he seemed to be having way too much fun at the hospital….
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!
This week, CHiPs makes me cry!
Episode 1.14 “Rustling”
(Dir by Phil Bondelli, originally aired on January 12th, 1978)
This week’s episode of CHiPs featured a scene that brought tears to my mismatched eyes.
A drunk driver (played by G.W. Bailey) swerves across the highway and causes another car to flip over. While Ponch chases after the driver, Baker goes to investigate the crash. He discovers that the car’s driver is a 17 year-old girl named Susie (Pamelyn Ferdin) and she has been pinned under the wreckage. He manages to free her and carry her away from the car before it explodes. YAY! Another life saved by Jon Baker, right?
That’s when Susie says that she can’t feel her legs.
That scene got to me. It was far more well-acted than anything that I think one would normally expect to find on a episode of CHiPs, with both Ferdin and Larry Wilcox bringing a lot of emotional sincerity to their roles. Susie realizes that she may never walk again. Baker realizes that, just because he saved her from the car, he can’t save Susie from the other consequences of the accident. I wanted to cry. Actually, I did cry.
Now, I should admit that I’m recovering from a sprained ankle and I was doing my ankle exercises while watching this scene. So, not only did I already have tears in my eyes (seriously, some of those exercises hurt!) but I was also feeling pretty emotional. But still, even if I was just watching this scene while sitting on a couch, I think it would have had the same effect on me.
Of course, for the record, Ponch does capture the drunk driver (and the driver starts to sob when he realizes what he has done). And, by the end of the episode, Baker is informed that Susie is going to be okay. I was happy about that.
Excuse me, I’m starting to cry again….
Okay, believe it or not, that was only a small part of the episode. The main storyline featured the great L.Q. Jones as a cattle rustler who, when he’s not driving his truck full of stolen cattle, rides a motorcycle. Fortunately, after a lengthy chase, Baker and Ponch are able to capture him and his accomplice (Paul Tuerpe). It was a pretty simple story but, at the same time, L.Q. Jones was one of those brilliant character actors who make even the most mundane of characters interesting.
Also, over the course of the episode, Ponch and Baker deal with an irate driver (Mill Watson) who claims that he was only speeding because his gear shift failed. In court, Ponch is able to prove that the gear shift didn’t break by pointing out that the brake lights would have come on in that case. (“Your honor,” the defense attorney says, “my client would like to change his plea to guilty.”) Ponch and Baker also stop a magician and his assistant and are so fascinated by the magician’s tricks that they nearly forget to write his assistant a ticket.
Finally, Ponch arranges for everyone to meet at Baker’s apartment to throw him a surprise birthday party. Whoops! Baker’s birthday isn’t for another three months. Ponch looked at Baker’s personnel file and misread his employment number as being his birthdate. Oh, Ponch! Still, the party is a success. Getraer shows up with zucchini. The magician shows up and performs a trick that involves tossing milk on Ponch and Baker. What? Well, whatever.
What’s important is that one scene that brought tears my eyes. The rest of the episode may have been generic but that one scene was beautifully done and I’ll never forget it.
In December of 2002, most likely on Christmas Eve, Laci Peterson was murdered in Modesto, California. At the time, she was eight months pregnant and, by all account, looking forward to the birth of her first child, Connor. Suspicion immediately fell on her husband Scott Peterson, who seemed reluctant to contact police when Laci first disappeared and who was later revealed to be cheating on his wife, both before and after his disappearance. Though Scott and Laci’s friends and family may have thought of Scott Peterson as being the perfect husband, the truth was far different.
After the bodies of both Laci and unborn Connor were discovered, Scott was arrested and charged with murder. Scott insisted that his wife had been kidnapped and murdered by a gang of meth-dealing Satanists. The jury disagreed and Scott was found guilty. Originally sentenced to death, Scott is now serving a life sentence.
The disappearance and subsequent murder of Laci Peterson was national news and Scott Peterson, with his cold demeanor and his history of infidelity, was a perfect villain. (The case would serve as one of the inspiration for the novel and film, Gone Girl.) Today, unfortunately, the case has received renewed attention due to a docuseries called The Murder of Laci Peterson. Though the documentary may have Laci’s name in the title, she’s treated largely as an afterthought. Instead, the documentary focuses on making excuses for all of Scott’s incriminating behavior and, in the final episode, it goes as far as to include cheesy reenactments of Satanists stalking the streets of Modesto. This heavy-handed work of propaganda, which was produced by a friend of Scott Peterson’s family, can be found on Hulu and is regularly re-aired on stations like A&E. Whenever it airs, one can be sure that the dumbest people on twitter will start tweeting stuff like, “I lowkey think Scott Peterson might be innocent!” The documentary ends with Scott’s creepy sister-in-law delivering an unconvincing monologue about how she often goes to the beach where Laci was found and thinks about her and Connor. It’s one of the few times that anyone in the documentary mentions anything about Laci.
The 2004 made-for-TV movie, The Perfect Husband: The Laci Peterson Story, also keeps Laci off-screen but it still feels like a more honest look at the Peterson case than the documentary. Because the movie was put into production before Scott’s trial had actually begun, the film does maintain a sense of ambiguity as to whether or not Scott is actually guilty but, unlike the docuseries, it also doesn’t deny just how suspicious Scott’s behavior was in the days following Laci’s disappearance. While his friends and his family frantically look for Laci, Scott calls his mistress and flirts over the phone. (As shown in the film, Scott’s girlfriend did not know that Scott was married and was shocked to see Scott on television, talking about his missing wife.) When his friends and family beg Scott to help get the word out about his missing wife, Scott retreats into his own shell. And when Laci’s body is discovered, Scott puts on a fake beard, dyes his hair, and heads to San Diego with a bag full of money. In the docuseries, Scott’s condescending father claimed that Scott was just trying to get away from the media. The film leaves little doubt that he was trying to get away from his crimes.
Dean Cain does a good job in the role of Scott Peterson. Because Scott’s trial had yet to begin, Cain couldn’t play him as being an outright murderer so, instead, he focused on playing Scott as being petulant, insecure, and self-centered, the type of guy who seems to be annoyed that Laci’s disappearance is inconveniencing him. Dee Wallace and G.W. Bailey have a few good scenes as, respectively, Laci’s mother and the detective investigating the case. David Denman (who is probably best-known for playing Roy, Pam’s lunkhead fiancé on The Office) gives the film’s strongest performance as a friend of Scott’s who desperately wants to believe that he’s innocent even though the evidence keeps piling up against him.
The Perfect Husband probably gets closer to the truth of the case than any of the documentaries that have followed. Scott’s a killer. RIP, Laci and Connor.
Russia has a problem. Mob boss Konstantine Konali (Ron Perlman, slumming) has created a video game so addictive that the people playing it don’t even realize that it’s actually a sophisticated computer virus that allows Konali to take control of almost any security system. As a result, Moscow has been hit by a string of robberies. The Moscow police commandant, Nikolaivich Rakov (Christopher Lee, slumming even more than Perlman) knows that he doesn’t have the resources to stop Konali so, as so many have done before him, he decides to contact Commandant Eric Lassard (George Gaynes) and asks for help.
In others words: Police Academy Goes To Russia!
Well, some of the Police Academy graduates get to go. After the box office failure of City Under Siege, there was a five year hiatus between that movie and the latest (and last) installment in the Police Academy film saga. During that time, the juvenile boys who made up the franchise’s target audience all grew up and became too cool to admit that they had ever seen a Police Academy film. By the time Mission to Moscow went into production, most of the stars of Police Academy had also either moved on or desperately wanted to create the impression that they had something better to do than go to Russia to take part in the final stand of an aging franchise.
As a result, Lassard only takes Tacklberry (David Graf), Sound Effects Machine (Michael Winslow), Callahan (Leslie Easterbrook), Harris (G.W. Bailey), and Cadet Connors (Charlie Schlatter) with him to the Russia. Cadet Connors is a computer expert and he is obviously meant to be the new Steve Guttenberg/Matt McCoy style wiseass. He ends up falling for a pretty Russian translator (Claire Forlani). Cadet Connors tries his best but he’s no Carey Mahoney.
Give Mission to Moscow some credit for predicting both the rise of the Russian Mafia and the danger of computer viruses. Otherwise, Mission to Moscow ends the Police Academy franchise in a desultory manner. The cast looks old and even the usually reliable Sound Effects Machine doesn’t bring much energy to his shtick. Police Academy: Mission to Moscow was one of the first American movies to be filmed in Moscow after the collapse of the Soviet Union and it even features an actor standing in for Boris Yeltsin. In the tradition of a family sitcom doing a special episode of Epcot Center, there’s plenty of footage of the cast standing in front of all of the landmarks but otherwise, Mission to Moscow doesn’t do much with its setting. It’s interesting as historical trivia but forgettable as a movie.
10 years after the series began, Mission to Moscow brought the Police Academy films to a close, not with a bang but with a very exhausted whimper. There was a syndicated tv series featuring the Sound Effects Machine that aired in 1997 but I never saw an episode and I was surprised to lean that it even existed. It’s on YouTube so, someday, I’ll try to watch it. Not today, though.
Through the Shattered Lens 