Film Review: Gia (dir by Michael Cristofer)


Today is Angelina Jolie’s 50th birthday.

As I sit here writing this, Jolie is very much a respectable figure, one who doesn’t appear in as many movies she once did.  When she does act, it’s almost always in the type of big and rather glossy films that inevitably seem to be destined to be described as potential Oscar contenders.  She’s so identified with the work that she does for UNHCR that it can be argued that she’s even better known now as a human rights activist than as an actor.  (On Wikipedia, her career is listed as being “actress, director, humanitarian.”)  Angelina Jolie has made the move from acting to directing and even though none of her directorial efforts have been especially memorable, they still tend to get a lot of attention because she’s Angelina Jolie.  Angelina Jolie is definitely a part of the establishment and, let me make this very clear, there’s nothing wrong with that!  She’s still a good actress.  She seems to be far more sincere about her activism than many of her fellow Hollywood performers.  Personally, I think the efforts to get her to run for political office have been a little over-the-top (and they seem to have died down after an attempted presidential draft in 2016) but again, she’s earned her success and she deserves it.

That said, it can sometimes be surprising to remember that, before she became so acceptable, Angelina Jolie was Hollywood’s wild child, the estranged daughter of Jon Voight who talked openly about being bisexual, using drugs, struggling with her mental health, and playing with knives in bed.  This was the Jolie who, long before she married Brad Pitt, was married to Billy Bob Thornton and used to carry around a vial of his blood.  This was the Angelia Jolie who had tattoos at a time when that actually meant something and who went out of her way to let everyone know that she was a badass who wasn’t going to let anyone push her around.  This was the Angelina Jolie who was dangerous and unpredictable and who wore her wild reputation like an empowering badge of honor.

That’s the Angelina Jolie who starred in Gia.

Made for HBO in 1998, Gia was a biopic in which Jolie played Gia Carangi, one of the first supermodels.  The film followed Gia, from her unhappy childhood (represented by Mercedes Ruehl as Gia’s mother) to her early modeling days when she was represented by the famous Wilhelmina Cooper (Faye Dunaway) to her struggles with heroin and cocaine to her eventual AIDS-related death.  During the course of her short life, Gia falls in love with a photographer’s assistant named Linda (Elizabeth Mitchell) but, as much as Linda tries to help her, Gia simply cannot escape her demons.

That Gia is a fairly conventional biopic is not a shock, considering that it was directed by the reliably banal Michael Cristofer.  He starts the film with people talking about their memories of Gia and he doesn’t get anymore imaginative from there.  That the film works and is memorable is almost totally due to performances of Elizabeth Mitchell and Angelina Jolie, both of whom give such sincere and honest performances that they make you truly care about Gia and Linda.  Jolie, in particular, portrays Gia as being an uninhibited and impulsive agent of chaos, one who follows her immediate desires and who makes no apology for who she is and what she does.  There’s a lot of physical nudity in this film but the important thing is that Jolie allows Gia’s soul to be naked as well.  There’s nothing hidden when it comes either the character or Jolie’s empathetic and passionate performance.

Jolie won an Emmy for her performance in Gia and her work in this film led to her being cast in 2000’s Girl, Interrupted, the film for which she would win the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress.  Since then, Jolie’s become, as I said at the start of this review, very much a member of America’s cultural establishment.  My hope, though, is that someday, someone will give Jolie a role that will remind viewers of who she was before she became respectable.  I think she still has the talent to take audiences by surprise.

Icarus File No. 21: Reach Me (dir by John Herzfeld)


The 2011 film, Reach Me, opens with a rapper named E-Ruption (Nelly) appearing on a morning show and talking about how, while he was serving a prison sentence, he read a self-help book called Reach Me.  It asked him to consider whether or not his childhood self would be happy with his adult self.  The book was written by a mysterious man named Teddy Raymond.  No one knows who this Teddy Raymond is.  He’s never appeared in public.  People film themselves reading the book online and then upload to YouTube as a way of sharing Teddy’s wisdom.  I honestly can think of nothing more annoying and boring than watching someone else read a self-help book but whatever.  I live in Texas.  The movie takes place in California.

Tabloid editor Gerald (Sylvester Stallone) takes a break from action painting to order one of his reporters, Roger King (Kevin Connolly), to track down Teddy Raymond.  Roger wants to write the great American novel.  He doesn’t care about self-help.  He meets Teddy’s associates, Wilson (Terry Crews) and Kate (Lauren Cohan) and Wilson talks about how Teddy magically cured Kate’s stutter.  Roger then wanders around the beach, asking random people, “Teddy Raymond?  Are you Teddy Raymond?”  Oh look!  There’s a guy named Teddy (Tom Berenger) who reluctantly cures Roger of his smoking addiction by ordering Roger to yell at the ocean …. over and over and over again.

Collette (Kyra Segdwick) has just been released from prison.  Reading Teddy’s book has inspired her to try to become a fashion designer.  Collette’s daughter, Eve (Elizabeth Henstridge), is an aspiring actress who was earlier groped by a sleazy star named Keating (Cary Elwes).  Collette and Eve literally crash their car into a car being driven by Wolfie (Thomas Jane), a sociopathic undercover cop who enjoys killing people and who goes to confession after every shooting.  (At the start of the movie, he guns down Danny Trejo.)  The alcoholic priest, Father Paul (Danny Aiello), refuses to hear any more of his confessions.

Meanwhile, wannabe mob boss Frank (Tom Sizemore) is upset because another mob boss, Aldo (Kelsey Grammer), doesn’t treat him with any respect.  Frank sends two of his hitmen, Thumper (David O’Hara) and Dominic (Omari Hardwick), to kill a man who owes him money and to also shoot the man’s dog.  Thumper has been reading Teddy Raymond’s book and doesn’t want to shoot the dog.  Dominic realizes that his heart isn’t into the mob life so, taking the book’s message to heart, he calls Frank and says, “My heart’s not in it.”

(Don’t try that with any real mobsters.)

Eventually, all of the characters do come together.  They don’t exactly come together in a plausible manner but they do all end up at the same location so let’s give the film credit for that.  Let’s also give this film credit for leaving me seriously confused.  I have no idea whether this film was meant to a parody or a celebration of the self-help industry.  At first, I suspected that it meant to be a parody because all of Teddy Raymond’s advice was painfully shallow and the type of basic crap that anyone could come up with.  I actually found myself losing respect for the people who claimed that Teddy had changed their lives.  But at the movie progressed, I realized that I was supposed to take Teddy and his advice seriously.  This was a film that I guess was meant to have something to say but who knows what exactly that was.

That said — hey, everyone’s in this movie!  Director John Herzfeld was a former college roommate of Sylvester Stallone’s and, once Stallone agreed to appear, that apparently convinced a lot of other “name” actors to take the risk as well.  There’s a lot of talent in this film but little of it is used correctly.  Kelsey Grammer as an Italian mobster instead of the editor?  Sylvester Stallone as the editor instead of the Italian mobster?  Thomas Jane as a sociopath who has a girlfriend by the end of the movie, one who smiles and tells him, “Try not to shoot anyone?”  Kyra Sedgwick as an ex-con?  These are all good actors but just about everyone, with the exception of the much-missed Danny Aiello, is miscast.

It’s a true Icarus File.  It was a just a little more self-aware, this would have been a Guilty Pleasure.  But, in the end, self-help cannot help itself.

Previous Icarus Files:

  1. Cloud Atlas
  2. Maximum Overdrive
  3. Glass
  4. Captive State
  5. Mother!
  6. The Man Who Killed Don Quixote
  7. Last Days
  8. Plan 9 From Outer Space
  9. The Last Movie
  10. 88
  11. The Bonfire of the Vanities
  12. Birdemic
  13. Birdemic 2: The Resurrection 
  14. Last Exit To Brooklyn
  15. Glen or Glenda
  16. The Assassination of Trotsky
  17. Che!
  18. Brewster McCloud
  19. American Traitor: The Trial of Axis Sally
  20. Tough Guys Don’t Dance

The Eric Roberts Horror Collection: Black Wake (dir by Jeremiah Kipp)


In this film from 2018 (which is largely made up of “found footage”), authorities are confused by a series of mysterious, beachside deaths.  The dead seem to have little to no connection with each other, besides having died near the Atlantic Ocean.  Some think that the murders are the result of a cult.  However, Dr. Luiza Moreira (Nana Gouvea) is convinced that the death are being caused by some sort of parasite that is transferred from host to host.  Her boss (Eric Roberts) doesn’t buy it and he thinks that Dr. Moreira is becoming unhinged in her obsession with her theory.  But soon, the streets are full of zombiefied killers, all of whom seem to be determined to reach the ocean.

As for Dr. Moreira, her boss may actually have a point about her behavior.  Much of the film is made up footage of Dr. Moreira speaking straight to the camera, explaining her theory and also discussing how everyone that she works with is either too foolish or too in denial to understand that its right.  Soon, she almost seems to be taking a bit of joy in just how out-of-control the situation has become.  Meanwhile, she finds herself suffering from terrible headaches and occasional hallucinations.  Two government agents follow her and watch her every move, ominously talking about how she doesn’t realize what is really happening.  When she tries to go to her family to warn them about what is happening, she discovers that the situation is even more extreme than she originally thought.

Black Wake is a low-budget slice of Cthulhu-style horror, one that works because it embraces its low budget and basically tosses in every weird twist and situation that it can come up with.  It’s an enjoyably weird movie and, if nothing else, it captures the extent to which some people will go to pretend that there’s nothing strange happening around them.  My favorites were the dumbass frat guys who just had to pick up a hitchhiker, despite the fact that she was obviously homicidal and disturbed.  One of the frat guys points out that it might not be a good idea to pick up a stranger while there’s a wave of mass murders occurring at the beach, one of his friends rationalizes the decision by saying, “She’s a chick.”  Drunk frat boys so desperate to get laid that they’ll risk being murdered?  That’s probably the most realistic moment in the entire film.

Eric Roberts appears in three scenes, playing an unsympathetic bureaucrat.  (Is there any other type?)  He’s not the only actor making a cameo here.  Chuck Zito plays a sheriff.  Vincent Pastore plays a doctor who memorably says, “Fuck this!” when confronted with the walking dead.  And Tom Sizemore has two effective scenes as an unstable homicide detective.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

  1. Star 80 (1983)
  2. Blood Red (1989)
  3. The Ambulance (1990)
  4. The Lost Capone (1990)
  5. Love, Cheat, & Steal (1993)
  6. Love Is A Gun (1994)
  7. Sensation (1994)
  8. Dark Angel (1996)
  9. Doctor Who (1996)
  10. Most Wanted (1997)
  11. Mr. Brightside (2004)
  12. Six: The Mark Unleased (2004)
  13. Hey You (2006)
  14. In The Blink of an Eye (2009)
  15. Enemies Among Us (2010)
  16. The Expendables (2010) 
  17. Sharktopus (2010)
  18. The Dead Want Women (2012)
  19. Deadline (2012)
  20. Miss Atomic Bomb (2012)
  21. Lovelace (2013)
  22. Self-Storage (2013)
  23. This Is Our Time (2013)
  24. Inherent Vice (2014)
  25. Road to the Open (2014)
  26. Rumors of War (2014)
  27. Amityville Death House (2015)
  28. A Fatal Obsession (2015)
  29. Stalked By My Doctor (2015)
  30. Joker’s Poltergeist (2016)
  31. Prayer Never Fails (2016)
  32. Stalked By My Doctor: The Return (2016)
  33. The Wrong Roommate (2016)
  34. Dark Image (2017)
  35. Stalked By My Doctor: Patient’s Revenge (2018)
  36. Clinton Island (2019)
  37. Monster Island (2019)
  38. Seven Deadly Sins (2019)
  39. Stalked By My Doctor: A Sleepwalker’s Nightmare (2019)
  40. The Wrong Mommy (2019)
  41. Exodus of a Prodigal Son (2020)
  42. Free Lunch Express (2020)
  43. Her Deadly Groom (2020)
  44. Top Gunner (2020)
  45. Deadly Nightshade (2021)
  46. Just What The Doctor Ordered (2021)
  47. Killer Advice (2021)
  48. The Poltergeist Diaries (2021)
  49. A Town Called Parable (2021)
  50. My Dinner With Eric (2022)

All Hail Jan-Michael Vincent: Red Line (1996, directed by John Sjogren)


Jan-Michael Vincent, back in the day

When Jan-Michael Vincent died on February 10th, we lost a legend.

For obvious reasons, the life and career of Jan-Michael Vincent is often held up as a cautionary tale.  Vincent went from being a rising star in the 70s to being nearly unemployable in the 90s.  When you watch Vincent in one of his early film, like The Mechanic or Big Wednesday, you see an actor who had both the talent and the looks to be a major star.  He was such a natural and deceptively low-key performer that it is not a surprise that he was twice cast as Robert Mitchum’s son.  He could play everyone from a hippie to a cowboy to a surfer to an assassin.  Unfortunately, once the 80s rolled around, Vincent became better known for his struggles with drugs and alcohol than for his talent.  After a brief but profitable stint starring in Airwolf, Jan-Michael Vincent found himself appearing mostly in straight-to-video action films.  By the mid-90s, he was a mainstay on late night Cinemax.  Even though the films had gotten smaller and his famous good looks had been ravaged by years of hard living, Vincent was still capable of giving a good performance.

It is impossible to talk about the legend of Jan-Michael Vincent without talking about Red Line.  In this direct-to-video car chase film, Vincent was cast as a gangster named Keller.  When an auto mechanic named Jim (Chad “Son of Steve” McQueen) makes the mistake of taking one of Keller’s cars for a joyride, Keller blackmails Jim into stealing a corvette from a police impound lot.  Red Line was typical of the type of films that Vincent was usually offered in the 90s, an action-filled crime film with a handful of recognizable faces.

It was also a film that Vincent nearly didn’t live to make.  Two days before filming was to begin, Jan-Michael Vincent was nearly killed when he crashed his motorcycle.  Vincent suffered severe facial lacerations and he would later tell Howard Stern that his eye was nearly popped out of his head as a result of the accident.  Vincent was rushed to the hospital and put in intensive care.

However, Jan-Michael Vincent still had a movie to make.  So, what did he do?  Two days after his accident, he checked himself out of the hospital and, unexpectedly, showed up on set.  With his face noticeable bruised and swollen and with the stitches and sutures still visible, Vincent played the role of Keller.  If you watch carefully, you can even spot his hospital ID, still hanging around his wrist.  The script was hastily rewritten to explain Vincent’s injuries and, though he could barely speak or walk, he still delivered his lines and filmed his scenes.  And goddamn if Jan-Michael Vincent didn’t steal the entire movie.  Even after years of hard-living (not to mention just two days after nearly dying), Jan-Michael Vincent still had it.  Even though he had to whisper his lines and film most of his scenes sitting down, Vincent was still credibly threatening in the role of Keller. He even points out his own injuries, saying, “I’m sick of looking like Frankenstein!”

Jan-Michael Vincent in Red Line

The rest of the cast was made up of an eclectic collection of familiar faces.  Dom DeLuise played Chad McQueen’s boss.  Michael Madsen and Corey Feldman (!) both played rival gangsters while Roxanna Zal played the young woman who becomes McQueen’s partner in crime.  B-movie fans will want to keep an eye out for Julie Strain, Robert Z’Dar, and Chuck Zito.  None of them make as much of an impression as Vincent, though.

Red Line was meant to be an homage to the type of car chase films that Steve McQueen made famous.  Chad McQueen even gets to drive a replica of the car that his father drove in Bullitt.  Some of the chase scenes are exciting but Chad doesn’t have his father’s screen presence and the film never overcomes its low-budget.  Watching the movie is a lot like watching someone else play Grand Theft Auto.  Red Line is a forgettable movie but it will always be remembered as an important chapter in the legend of Jan-Michael Vincent.

Jan-Michael Vincnet, RIP

A Movie A Day #92: Love, Cheat, & Steal (1993, directed by William Curran)


Paul Harrington (John Lithgow) is a wealthy banking consultant who has just married a sexy, younger woman, Lauren (Madchen Amick).  Paul thinks that Lauren is perfect but then her brother, Donald (Eric Roberts), shows up.  What Paul does not know is that Donald is not actually Lauren’s brother.  Instead, Donald is Reno, Lauren’s first husband who she never actually divorced. Reno has just escaped from prison where he was serving time for a crime for which he believes Lauren framed him.  While Paul tries to save his father’s failing bank, Reno starts to plan a bank robbery and Lauren tries to balance her old life with Reno with her new life with Paul.

Mild neo noirs like Love, Cheat, & Steal were a dime a dozen in the 1990s.  Love, Cheat, & Steal was made for Showtime and, throughout the 1990s, it used to tempt kids like me with its promise of “Brief Nudity” and “Adult Situations.”  The only thing that makes it memorable is the presence of Madchen Amick, who was always the most beautiful of all of the Twin Peaks starlets, even if she often was overshadowed by Sherilyn Fenn and Lara Flynn Boyle.  Madchen Amick has the right combination of girl next door innocence and enigmatic sultriness to make her perfect for movies like Love, Cheat, & Steal.  Other than the presence of Madchen Amick, Love, Cheat, & Steal is best remembered for being your only chance to see Eric Roberts do a Jack Nicholson imitation.

One final note: Irish actor Dan O’Herlihy has a small role.  Though he is best known for playing Conal Cochran in Halloween 3, he also co-starred with Amick during the second season of Twin Peaks.