I’m really not sure what to make of Wolves at the Door.
I knew the film was inspired by the crimes of Charles Manson and his family before I watched the film. Not only was Wolves at the Door specifically advertised as being “Inspired by The Infamous Manson Family Murder Spree” but just check out the plot description that was provided by Warner Bros:
Four friends gather at an elegant home during the Summer of Love, 1969. Unbeknownst to them, deadly visitors are waiting outside. What begins as a simple farewell party turns to a night of primal terror as the intruders stalk and torment the four, who struggle for their lives against what appears to be a senseless attack.
The Manson Family have inspired a countless number of films, so that’s not really an issue. Almost all of those films either presented Manson and his followers as being the epitome of evil or they told stories that were heavily and obviously fictionalized.
Wolves at the Door, however, is different. Other than in some news footage that is shown during the end credits, Manson is not seen in the film. For that matter, the members of the Family don’t get much screen time either. Mostly, they’re just seen as shadows, creeping down hallways and sometimes materializing in a doorway before vanishing. There’s no mention of Helter Skelter or the Beatles. I’d have to rewatch the film to say for sure but I think it’s possible that we only hear them say one or two words over the course of the entire movie.
Instead, Wolves at the Door spends most of its running time with the victims of the Manson Family, following them as they are unknowingly stalked inside of a Los Angeles mansion. Usually, in a film like this, you would expect the names to be changed but, for some reason, that doesn’t happen in Wolves At The Door.
So, Katie Cassidy plays a pregnant actress who is named Sharon.
Elizabeth Henstridge plays a coffee heiress who is named Abigail.
Adam Campbell plays Abigail’s Polish boyfriend, who is named Wojciech.
Miles Fisher plays a hairdresser who is named Jay and who just happens to be Sharon’s ex-boyfriend.
And, finally, Lucas Adams plays a teenager stereo enthusiast named Steven, who just happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Speaking as someone who loves horror and who has defended some of the most critically derided films of all time, everything about Wolves at the Door just feels icky, tacky, and wrong. Many grindhouse horror films have been inspired by actual crimes but most of them at least changed the names of the victims. You really have to wonder just what exactly the filmmakers were thinking here.
(Then again, just two years ago, NBC greenlit a show called Aquarius, which could have just as easily been called “The Adventures of Young Charlie Manson.”)
It’s not just that Wolves at the Door is offensive. In fact some of the best movies of all time were specifically designed to be offensive. The problem with Wolves at the Door is that it’s also just a very shoddy film. (In fact, if the film had been well-made, it wouldn’t be quite as offensive.) Though the actors may be talented, they’re let down by a script that’s full of some of the clunkiest dialogue that I’ve ever heard. Though the soundtrack may feature some good songs, they’re still the same damn songs that show up in every movie set in 1969. (Judging from the movies, everyone in 1969 just listened to the same five songs over and over again.) Though the movie itself is only 73 minutes long, it is so abysmally paced that it feels much, much longer.
Sadly, this film was directed by John Leonetti, who did a pretty good job with Annabelle. Again, I’m not sure what exactly he or anyone else was thinking with Wolves at the Door, which I’m going to go ahead and declare to be the worst film of 2017. I know that the year isn’t over yet but I just can’t imagine anything as bad as this.
“The Condemned Woman” refers to Josie Packard (Joan Chen), who has just about the worst day of her life in her episode.
It all begins with the items left by Windom Earle on Sheriff Truman’s (Michael Ontkean) desk. After listening to the tape recording, Truman notes that he’s not going to let Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) out of his sight. Cooper lets Truman know that if Windom really wanted him dead, it would have happened already. Looking over the chess board, they give a call to Lucy, to have Pete Martell (Jack Nance) come by the sheriff’s office as soon as they can. When he’s done with the phone, he finds Cooper gazing longingly at the face mask on the table.
“She was the love of my life, Harry.” Cooper says, speaking of Caroline Earle (Brenda Mathers).
We find Pete on the phone with Lucy, letting her know that he’ll be right over to the precinct as soon as he can. He then serves breakfast to Catherine Martell (Piper Laurie) and Andrew Packard (Dan O’Herlihy), who is surprised any the arrangement of his breakfast into a face. As the two have a good chuckle, Catherine interrupts by asking Pete to get the salt and paper. Pete does so, wishes them well, and then heads out. Over breakfast, Catherine asks about Ghostwood. Andrew informs her that everything’s set and she should be leaving for Paris the next day.
The door opens and Josie walks in, so shocked to find Andrew alive that she passes out on the floor. Not a good start for Josie in this episode.
In Truman’s office, Hawk (Michael Horse) brings in Hank (Chris Mulkey) who is arrested for the attempted murder of Leo Johnson (Eric Da Re). Hank says he’s not there, but Truman mentions he has a witness saying he’s there. Hank offers to be a witness regarding the murder for Andrew Packard, and points the finger at Josie. This causes Hawk to react and kick the crutches out from under Hank, making him collapse on the table before taking him out of the room. Truman has a moment of brief anger after Hank is escorted out.
In an adjacent office, Al Rosenfield (Miguel Ferrer) lays it all out. The bullets from a recently deceased individual match the ones pulled from Cooper’s torso, all leading to Josie Packard. Cooper asks Rosenfeld to hold off, as he’s going to speak with Josie and ask her to turn herself in.
Back at the Great Northern, Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) receives an envelope before taking over the Concierge desk as part of her training. A young man (Billy Zane, Titanic), approaches the desk and asks to have his luggage brought in. He recognizes her and mentions he has a photo of her in a dress and pigtails, with fond memories. He remembers her playing as Heidi. She recalls the memory as well, though she was 10 at the time. Why is he holding on to that picture? Before she can say anything about it, he’s already left the table and is moving on. Going back to the envelope, she finds the right side of a torn paper with parts of messages. It contains words such as:
High heaven…
One another;
Be forgiven
Brother;
The earth
Kiss the sea:
Work worth
Me?
It also contains a message to meet at the Roadhouse at 9:30. Strange stuff, indeed.
We’re at Ed (Everett McGill) and Nadine’s (Wendy Robie).He’s fixed the damage to the shelves when Nadine arrives to inform him that she and Mike are in love. They had a wonderful time at their wrestling trip. At first, Ed is a little upset, but she reminds him that he and Norma (Peggy Lipton) are together, so why not? Nadine informs Ed it’s time to break up.
In the next scene, Cooper and Josie are talking about what they found. He tells her she has to come by the Precinct later today or he’s going to come hunting for her. When he leaves, Catherine (who’s been listening in the entire time) comes in and asks what’s wrong, pointing out all of the ways that Josie’s in trouble. Between Eckhardt coming after her and the police, she’s in a corner. It’s Piper Laurie playing the wicked role to a “T”, and she’s great in this scene. In the book-case, Catherine takes a pair of keys, leaving behind the Walter PPK, which Josie cradles. She may need that later on.
We’re at the Great Northern, and Ben Horne (Richard Beymer) is in wonderful spirits after his recovery tied to the Civil War re-enactment Dr. Jacoby helped with. Bobby Briggs (Dana Ashbrook), Audrey and Jerry (David Patrick Kelly) are on hand. As they talk the young man Audrey met earlier enters the office and is introduced as John Justice Wheeler.
The Horne’s (with a Brigg) gather for a meeting.
At the sit down, Ben explains that Horne Industries is in a bad way. The lands once owned by them are now owned by the Martells. His plan includes a Pine Weasel, indigenous to Twin Peaks, but almost extinct. They plan to fight the Ghostwood Development with this, and if that works out, perhaps he’ll run for the Senate. If that storyline works out, it would be interesting if it’s referenced in the Revival next month. I’ll admit that I like this version of Ben Horne. He’s less of a weasel (for want of a better word) than what he was up until now.
At the RR Cafe, a man pays his tab and leaves. On the table where he sat is an envelope for Shelly (Madchen Amick). Norma is on the phone with her sister, and explains to Shelly that her sister Annie will be visiting her from a local convent. They both discover the envelope and Shelly opens it, revealing another part of the letter that was given to Audrey earlier. Shelly’s has the following:
Waves clasp…
Flower wo…
Ordained it’s….
Sunlight…
The moon beams…
A long lost love, found at last.
Along with this is the same notification to meet at the Roadhouse at 9:30. As they think about it, Ed comes into the cafe with a deeply focused look. He walks right up to Norma and tells her that he’s loved her for years and this is their time now. Ed gives Norma a sweet embrace, a sweeter kiss, and Shelly leaves them be with a smile. Nice one, Ed.
We’re outside somewhere, and Leo (Eric Da Re) is whittling a piece of wood into Arrows, though he doesn’t speak. The man we saw at the diner (Kenneth Welsh) talks to Leo while examining some arrowheads. They have something planned for Twin Peaks, though what that is, we’re not sure.
In prison, Norma visits Hank, who’s still bruised from getting beat up by Nadine.. Hank asks her to vouch for her to help get out, but she’s not having any of it. She’s leaving him, and that’s that. He tells her to give him an alibi and he’ll give her a divorce. She still won’t cave in, and to this, Hank calls her a whore.
Norma’s response made me laugh, given that Billy Zane is also in this episode. She uses a line that James Cameron would also use later on in his film Titanic (said to Billy Zane’s Character):
“I’d rather be his whore than your wife.”
That makes me wonder if Cameron was a fan of Twin Peaks. Anyway, Norma leaves a screaming Hank behind, heading off to her new life with Ed.
We’re at the conference room in the precinct, with Pete, Truman and Cooper mulling over a Chess board. Pete, after much deliberation, makes a move and states that it will take Windom Earle some time to counter that one in a way that would remove a chess piece and lead to another killing.
In walks Rosenfield, with some more news on the forensics report. He steps out into the hallway with Cooper, explaining that they matched the gunpowder on Josie’s gloves with the bullets from before, and they have a witness who saw her leave the location of the recently deceased. Though Cooper states he handles it, an upset Truman steps into the hall, staring at both men.
He knows. Truman leaves, heading for Josie’s.
We find Josie working on her makeup when Andrew walks into the room and offers her a drink. As they sit down and talk, it’s revealed that Andrew truly loved Josie very much, but the same couldn’t be said of Josie. When she asks for him to help her, Andrew tells her what Catherine said earlier, that she should speak with Eckhardt. On the way out, she calls to him. He tells her “We won’t speak again.”
This would have been a perfect time for Dan O’Herlihy to almost close the door, stop in reflection and then say to Josie “Oh, and Happy Halloween.” before leaving.
James (James Marshall) and Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) are reunited after the escape from Evelyn’s. They’re at a picnic, and Donna wishes James well, though he has to leave Twin Peaks. They have a brief kiss and it’s a nice goodbye for James if he’s actually leaving.
Truman arrives at the Martell’s, looking for Josie. Pete and Catherine tell him that she’s off to the Great Northern, after everything that’s gone on with Eckhardt. Truman rushes off to find her.
The next scene is a great one between two veteran actors. Thomas Eckhardt (David Warner, Tron, The Omen, Time Bandits, Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze) and Andrew Packard, have a small talk in the elevator after revealing that Andrew is alive and well. The conversation is about Josie, making her sound like some sort of concubine. Andrew goes on to say that Josie loses her heart often, as she’s caught up with Sheriff Truman. Eckhardt mentions he’s taken care of that. But how, we’re left to wonder. Andrew warns Eckhardt that Josie is going to come back to him, and that’s a dangerous thing. He doesn’t get off of the elevator with Eckhardt, as he’s still considered dead to many.
Before Eckhardt leaves, Andrew calls out to him from the elevator, causing both men to pause.
“Happy Halloween.” I say, smiling, hoping O’Herlihy will say the same.
“Bye!!!” he simply says. Dammit.
Though it has nothing to do with the episode, I’d have loved to have heard Dan O’Herlihy say this.
In the main lounge of the Great Northern, Audrey, Ben and John Justice Wheeler are seated at a table. Ben asks John to be his teacher, as he’ll be the open book “upon whose virgin pages you shall scribe.” This causes Audrey to choke a little, given what she’s seen of her father. The new Ben is environmentally aware, lighting up a cigar and then putting it out at the realization. Before they can go into great detail, Ben is called away. This gives John (wishing to be called Jack) and Audrey some time to themselves. She’s a little defensive when it comes to Horne Industries and his help. Audrey asks him what he did, when he wasn’t saving the world. He states he was traveling all around, but that it’s good to be home, looking at her with a lifted brow.
“I’m only 18.” She responds with a swallow in her throat. Both Jack and I have the same reaction to this. “What does that have to do with the price of eggs?” He wasn’t coming on to her (at least, I didn’t take what was being said as such). Audrey recalls the envelope meeting and tells Jack she has to go, but that she’d be seeing him again.
I hope so, too. They seem like they’d make an interesting couple, if she can’t be with Cooper.
Someone’s leaving the women of Twin Peaks a love note, but who? And Why?
Donna finds Shelly at the bar. They make their greetings and Shelly asks Donna why she’s there. She mentions she received an envelope with part of a letter, which she lays down on the bar top. Shelly notices her letter and produces hers, laying it side by side. Audrey then appears and produces her own now. They’re able to read the complete letter:
“See the mountains kiss high heaven And the waves clasp one another; No sister-flower would be forgiven If it disdained its brother; And the sunlight clasps the earth And the moonbeams kiss the sea: What is all this sweet work worth If thou kiss not me?”
It’s from Percy Bysshe Shelley, “Love’s Philosophy”, but none of the girls get the reason behind why it was sent. At the end of the bar, the man who was talking with Leo earlier watches them….watches them close.
Cooper gets a phone call in his room while learning how to Fly Fish. It’s cute how well he’s adjusting to Twin Peaks life. It’s Catherine, from the way the call sounds. Cooper says he’s going to come back there to retrieve Josie, but he’s told that Josie’s there at the Great Northern, in Thomas Eckhardt’s suite.
Cooper hangs up and grabs his gun. It’s go time.
As he walks through the hallway, he hears screaming, followed by a gunshot. Cooper bursts into the room, his gun drawn. Two figures can be seen laying in bed. One rises, revealing himself as Thomas Eckhardt, a gunshot wound in his torso. Eckhardt chuckles softly, takes a few steps and then drops to the floor, dead.
Josie is kneeled on the bed, her pistol trained on Cooper. When asked why she shot Cooper, Josie admits it was because he came to Twin Peaks and it would come to this day. Harry Truman enters the room. She then turns the pistol on him. She asks Harry to forgive him, and that she never meant to hurt him. Josie has something similar to a seizure and collapses on the bed, where Truman rushes to her aid.
It’s too late. Josie Packard, murderer of Thomas Eckhardt, shooter of Agent Cooper, and Truman’s love, loses her life. A bad day indeed.
Now here is where things get weird than they normally do on Twin Peaks. A bright light envelops the bed, and Cooper stares as BOB appears, asking “Coop!! What happened to Josie!?” in a roar. His figure is replaced by the Man From Another Place (Michael Anderson), who dances on the bed.
The light fades. Cooper’s left to wonder what he’s seen. The camera tilts to a nearby dresser, where we can see Josie or (Josie’s Soul) screaming, her face pushing through the woodwork of a dresser knob. Could the Great Northern be the Black Lodge Hawk was talking about? Why is Cooper seeing BOB after they got rid of him through Leland Palmer?
Josie Packard, meeting her fate.
Goodness, this show is so strange. It’s a better one than it deserves to be, and happily closes some of the loops, tightening up the story. No more James, No more Josie. Hopefully, the last six episodes made for a sharper tale.
Though Chris Mulkey may be best known for playing ex-con Hank Jennings on Twin Peaks, he is also a well-respected character actor who, since the start of his career in the 1970s, has appeared in over 200 different films and TV shows. He has played a countless number of government agents and criminals and he was even one of the deputies who tried to track down Sylvester Stallone in First Blood.
But Mulkey’s best performance might be in a film that he co-wrote, Patti Rocks.
In Patti Rocks, Mulkey plays Billy Regis, a blue collar worker who spends his days ferrying people across the Mississippi river and his nights bragging about his success with women. One night, he tracks down his old friend, Eddie (John Jenkins). He tells Eddie that he has gotten his girlfriend, Patti Rocks, pregnant. What Patti does not know is that Billy is already married and has two children. Billy wants Eddie to drive with him to Wisconsin so he call tell Patti the truth. Depressed over his recent divorce, Eddie agrees.
It is an all night drive, during which Billy and Eddie talk about their own lost dreams, work, and especially sex. Billy claims to be a womanizer but even he secretly seems to understand how empty his boasts are. When they meet a woman who is just as outspoken as Billy is, Billy gets quiet. When they finally reach Patti’s apartment, Patti (Karen Landry) turns out to not be who Eddie was expecting.
Patti Rocks tells a simple, episodic story about two immature men in the throes of a mid-life crisis. Not much happens but the dialogue rings true and everyone watching Patti Rocks will recognize Billy and Eddie as someone that they know and maybe even see some of themselves in the characters.
Chris Mulkey and John Jenkins first played the characters of Billy and Eddie in the 1976 independent feature, Loose Ends. Though it never received a wide theatrical release, Loose Ends started Mulkey’s career as a busy character actor.
This episode starts with Major Briggs (Don S. Davis) explains what happened the night that he disappeared. He says that he remembers “stepping from the flame, seeing a vague shape in the darkness, and then nothing until I found myself standing next to the cooled remains of our campfire the next morning.” While Briggs is saying this, he’s sitting on a stone throne in the middle of what appears to be a lush rain forest. Briggs says that hypnotism will not help him conquer his amnesia because his memories are “immune to regression.” He does, however, remember seeing a giant owl.
Suddenly, Briggs is in the conference room at the sheriff’s office, describing the owl to Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan), Doctor Hayward (Warren Frost), and Harry (Michael Ontkean). Harry asks Briggs what exactly his work involves. Briggs replies that information is classified but some information has to be revealed for the good of the soul. Briggs asks if they are familiar with Project Blue Book, the Air Force investigation into UFOs. Briggs explains that Project Blue Book was officially disbanded in 1969 but it still continues in an unofficial capacity. Briggs says that they are looking for a place called “The White Lodge.”
At that exact moment, two MPs step into the room and announce that they have arrived to take the major back to the base. “Colonel O’Reilly’s orders,” they say. (Colonel O’Reilly or The Cigarette Smoking Man?) Despite Harry’s objections, Briggs leaves with the MPs.
In another office, Denise (David Duchovny, who would later continue the work of Project Blue Book in Twin Peaks‘s spiritual successor, The X-Files) is pressuring Ernie (James Booth) to make the call to Jean Renault. Cooper comes in and eats doughnut while Ernie finally makes the call.
(This episode was directed by Todd Holland, who also directed several episodes of another show famous for its David Duchovny guest spots, The Larry Sanders Show.)
With the call having been made, Cooper checks with Lucy (Kimmy Robertson), who says that she checked all of the personal ads in all of the national newspapers that Cooper listed and she did not find any mention of Windom Earle or any chess moves.
At the diner, Ed (Everett McGill) gives Norma (Peggy Lipton) a five dollar tip and also slips her a note telling her that they need to talk.
At the Johnson house, Leo (Eric Da Re) is still spitting up on Shelly (Madchen Amick) and Shelly is still complaining to Bobby (Dana Ashbrook) about having to do all the work. Bobby tells Shelly that she is looking at Ben Horne’s new apprentice and that he has better things to do than hang out with her and give Leo bubble bath. Shelly slaps him. Bobby leaves.
As the Marsh house, James (James Marshall) finally calls Ed and lets him know that he’s okay. James says that he needs a favor. As Evelyn (Annette McCarthy) listens, James says that he needs Ed to get all of the money out of his savings account.
“That’s only $12, James,” Ed says.
Once James has arranged to receive all twelve of his dollars, Evelyn asks him to tell her about his life in Twin Peaks. James talks about Laura and, how after she died, he felt as if she had stolen his life. James and Evelyn kiss and James notices that Evelyn is wearing sunglasses to hide a bruise on her face. Evelyn tells James that she needs his help.
Back at the diner, Nadine (Wendy Robie) sits down at the counter next to Mike (Gary Hershberger) and asks him if he wants to share a piece of cherry pie with her. “Oh Lord!” a horrified Mike shouts. Mike explains that he wants nothing to do with Nadine. He doesn’t want to talk to her. He doesn’t want to walk with her. He doesn’t want to see her.
Nadine replies with, “Mike Nelson, you are the handsomest boy I know and I would really like it if you and I could go out on a date.” She kisses him, leaving Mike stunned.
After being questioned by a suspicious Hank (Chris Mulkey), Norma leaves to see Ed.
Harry comes to the Martell house and demands to know why Josie (Joan Chen) did not move into his place and why she is working as Catherine’s maid. Josie says she is no good for Harry. Harry disagrees and soon, they’re kissing as passionately as Nadine tossing a teenager at wrestling practice.
At the Great Northern, Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) discovers Ben (Richard Beymer) on the floor of his office, wearing a gray Confederate uniform and recreating the Civil War with miniature army men. Ben explains that a war has broken out between the States and that he can not do anything until the war is over.
Norma arrives at the Hurley house and tells Ed that he is the last thing she thinks of before she goes to bed and the first thing that she thinks of when she wakes up. She wants to be with him. Ed has no problem with that.
At the Sheriff’s station, Cooper and Harry watch as Hawk (Michael Horse) gets Ernie wired up for his meeting with Jean Renault. Ernie talks about serving in the Korean War. Cooper tells him to focus on the here and now and they talk about how they’re going to set up Jean Renault. Cooper says that he wishes he could take part in the operation but he’s been suspended by the FBI. Harry deputizes Cooper. Denise steps into the office and is now wearing a suit. “You can call me Dennis,” he announces.
Andy (Harry Goaz) and Dick (Ian Buchanan) are breaking into an orphanage, searching for information on Little Nicky’s parentage. Dick finds Nicky’s file but then a happy couple step into the office. They are the Burnstons and they have arrived to see Donnie, the child that they will be adopting.
“Where is Donnie?” Mr. Bursotn asks.
“Little Donnie is dead,” Dick replies. “Dead-tired, I mean! I’m afraid Little Donnie isn’t feeling up to snuff.”
Andy suggests that maybe they should leave but Dick insists on “helping out these nice people.”
While this is going on, Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) is knocking on the door of the Hurley house. When Ed answer, Donna says that she needs his help. She says that she can’t find James. Ed says that James has left town but not to worry because he will soon have $12.
Donna leaves and then Norma slips out the back door. No sooner has Ed finished saying goodbye to Norma then Hank pops up and punches Ed. Nadine comes home from cheerleading practice, just in time to see Hank beating up Ed. Since Nadine is now She-Hulk, she has little difficulty beating the crap out of Hank.
At the Great Northern, Ben is discussing Confederate war strategy with Bobby. Bobby leaves the office and tells Audrey that her father has gone insane. Audrey says that Dr. Jacoby is going to see Ben tomorrow. “Don’t worry, baby,” Bobby says, “Bobby’s on the case.” While they talk, Catherine sneaks past them and enters Ben’s office. Ben recognizes Catherine and asks if she’s come to gloat. “Well, go ahead and gloat,” Ben says, “I have defeated General Meade.” Catherine says that, despite the whole attempted murder/insanity thing, she still loves Ben.
At the Marsh mansion, James reveals that he has fixed Evelyn’s car. They drink champagne to celebrate. Evelyn tells James that she can always tell what he’s thinking and then asks him for his plans. She asks where he will go and James says he doesn’t know. Evelyn tells him not to leave. They kiss, with James not realizing that they are being watched by Evelyn’s brother, Malcolm. (Nicholas Love).
Outside of a farmhouse, Cooper watches through a pair of binoculars as Ernie and Dennis talk to Jean Renault (Michael Parks) and Preston King (Gavan O’Herlihy). Renault notices that Ernie is sweating, like a man wearing a wire. Ernie explains that he is naturally a heavy sweater. However, the sweat causes the wire to short circuit and soon, smoke is coming from Ernie’s shirt.
Realizing that Cooper is watching, Renault comes out of the farmhouse, holding Dennis and Ernie as hostages. He demands that Cooper show himself. When Cooper steps out from hiding, Renault demands safe passage across the border. Cooper offers a trade. If Jean releases Dennis and Ernie, Cooper will agree to take their place as the hostage. While this goes on, Harry orders Hawk to call in the state police.
That night, at the Marsh mansion, Evelyn leaves behind a sleeping James and goes to Malcom. “How’s our baby boy?” her brother asks, “Lucky baby boy. Lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky….”
Back at the hostage standoff, the state police have arrived and even Andy is aiming a gun at the farmhouse. Inside the farmhouse, King tells Jean that he wants to make a deal and then make a run for it. Cooper, who has been beaten up, replies that the police will not make a deal and they will not let them run. Surrender is the only option.
“Okay,” Jean says. The only question is whether they give up quietly or if they kill Cooper first.
“Then we both die,” Cooper says.
Jean says he doesn’t care if he dies. He just wants to avenge his two brothers. He explains that everything was quiet until Cooper showed up. After Cooper showed up, Bernie was shot in the woods and Jacques was smothered in a hospital. Jean knows that Cooper did not kill either one of them but he suspects that Cooper brought “the nightmare” with him. Maybe, Jean explains, the nightmare will stop if Cooper dies.
King says that he doesn’t know what Jean’s talking about but that they have a problem and it has to be solved. King looks outside and sees a waitress approaching the farmhouse. Is it Norma? Could it be Shelley? No, it’s Denise and, as soon as she entered the farmhouse, she reveals that she has a gun in her garter. As Denise slams King against the wall, Cooper grabs the gun and kills Jean.
At the Johnson house, Shelly lies on the couch while the power goes on and off. When Shelly gets up to investigate, she discovers that Leo is not in his bed or his wheelchair. Instead, Leo’s standing in a corner, smiling at her and saying her name. Shelly screams as the lights go out.
At the Sheriff’s office, Cooper, Harry, Hawk, and Andy arrive and Lucy tells them that someone called in to say that there was a bomb hidden in the woods. Then there was a huge explosion and all of the lights went out. As Hawk goes to turn on the backup generator, Cooper steps into the darkened station. Using his lighter for illumination, Cooper discovers something. He calls Harry into the station and tells him to come alone.
In Harry’s office, a dead man (played by Kyle MacLachlan’s brother, Craig) has been propped up in front of Harry’s desk. On the desk, in front of the man, is a chess game.
Windom Earle has come to Twin Peaks!
This was an okay episode. I can’t bring myself to care about anything that’s happening with James but “Checkmate” did a good job of wrapping up the Jean Renault plot and setting up the show’s next big storyline, Windom Earle. Again, I was surprised to see that the whole Nadine goes to high school subplot holds up a lot better than I thought it would.
Tomorrow, I’ll be back with “Double Play,” in which the history of Windom Earle will be revealed!
This is where Twin Peaks starts to go into uncharted territory.
“Masked Ball”, directed by Duwayne Dunham, marks the first full episode after the closure of the Palmer case. We begin in the best way possible – a long motorcycle ride out of Twin Peaks with James Hurley (James Marshall). He’s moving on, and the audience is brought along for the ride.
At the precinct, Sheriff Truman (Michael Ontkean) and Special Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle McLachlan) speak with Betty Briggs (Charlotte Stewart) over the disappearance of Major Briggs (Don Davis). Apparently, Betty seems to be aware of the Major’s disappearances, and goes on to state that it happens from time to time. It’s a strange angle to this new story arc. When Betty leaves, Cooper whispers to Truman that the light he saw was a powerful force in the woods. Strange things are always at work at Twin Peaks, it seems.
Hawk (Michael Horse) and Andy (Harry Goaz) come in with a package with a gift from Dougie Milford (Tony Jay, Shere Khan from Disney’s Animated version of The Jungle Book). Dougie is getting married, something that happens as often as the return of the salmon, according to Hawk. A wedding seems an interesting change of pace, considering we’ve had two funerals over the course of the show so far.
A call comes in from Gordon Cole (David Lynch) to offer his support to Cooper. Due to his actions across the border at One Eyed Jacks, he’s now under investigation by the FBI. Gordon asks if everything Cooper is accused of is true, to which Cooper denies it. To help investigate the drug angle with the Renaults in Twin Peaks, Cole states they’re sending in Dennis Bryson (David Duchovny, just a few years before The X-Files).
Cooper meets with Roger Hardy (Clarence Williams III, The General’s Daughter). and two other personnel. Talk about time travel. On the table is one of the first Apple laptops ever made in 1989, weighing in at about 16 pounds. When asked about what he wants to bring to the defense, Cooper admits he has no defense. Yes, he did travel outside of his jurisdiction to One Eyed Jacks, but overall, he’s “innocent of any wrongdoings”. This statement causes Hardy to go “off the record” and have the computer shut down.
“Dale, there’s a right way and a wrong way to do this.” Hardy starts, asserting that an individual of the Bureau should be able to stand up for themselves. Cooper speaks of the magic of Twin Peaks. The life in the trees and animals, and the elements that have amazed him so far. Unfortunately, this doesn’t really help his case. Hardy keeps the suspension in effect and it’ll be up to the D.E.A. And the Canadians to decide his fate. Cooper rises and takes one last look at his badge and pistol before leaving as Citizen Cooper. I liked that they ended with the badge and pistol. The audience has to wonder what he’s looking at for a moment before revealing it.
The next scene has us in High School, with Nadine (Wendy Robie) bounding down the stairs and running into Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle). On greeting Donna, Donna asks if she’s seen James. Nadine states she hasn’t. I suppose James didn’t tell anyone he was leaving. She asks Donna if she happens to still be going out with Mike Nelson (Gary Hershberger). Nadine feels that she and Mike have some great chemistry going on, though Mike doesn’t seem quite in on this knowledge, given the cold shoulder he gives her in the hallway.
“What about Ed?”Donna asks. If she’s with Ed (Everett McGill), how should she be with Mike? Nadine has a plan. Ed’s at home, Mike’s at school, she’ll find a way to manage it, and Ed’s old enough to be her father, she adds. I enjoyed that scene. Any comedic scene with Wendy Robie in this show, I’m for it.
Meanwhile, James makes a pit stop at a local bar, where he finds a young blonde dressed in red. Over beers, she mentions she has a Jaguar that needs fixing. James has just the skill set for that sort of thing. She introduces herself as Evelyn Marsh, and he plays the jukebox, perhaps wondering what he’s getting himself into. First Laura, then Donna, then Maddy, then Donna, now this? Goodness.
Back at the precinct, Dick Tremayne (Ian Buchanan, Panic Room, One Life to Live) brings little Nicky by. Dick explains to Andy that they’re going out for a malted and wanted to bring Lucy (Kimmy Robertson) along. Since both men are vying for Lucy’s affections, treating Nicky well seemed like it would work out in either man’s favor. Andy states that Lucy is at the Great Northern, helping with the Milford wedding, which reminds Dick that Dougie’s getting married again. It’s like an annual event, this wedding. When Dick moves to change their plans, Nicky becomes upset. Andy chimes in, saying that he’d love to come along for the malted. Reluctantly, Dick has him come along.
Here comes one of my favorite scenes, back to back. In Truman’s office, Truman asks Cooper what they should do if they can’t clear him. Cooper’s answer to this is that the Giant told him that the path is formed by laying one stone at a time, meaning they’d have to cross that bridge when they get to it. Cooper asks both men of the White Lodge that Briggs spoke of. Hawk, who’s also in the room, states that the White Lodge is another world. The White Lodge is where the spirits reside, and that there’s also a Black Lodge. The Black Lodge carries the shadow selves of each person, and everyone has to pass through that at some point in their lives. They refer this as The Dweller on the Threshold, and if you fail to pass through, your soul will be annihilated. Sounds pleasant, no?
The intercom rings, letting everyone in the room know that Agent Dennis Bryson has arrived. As one of the finest minds in the D.E.A., he should be able to get right to the bottom of the drug issues in Twin Peaks.
So, in walks Dennis, who is a woman now. Duchovny, along with Wendy Robie later on, pretty much steal this episode from everyone else.
“It’s a long story…” she starts, “but I prefer Denise if you don’t mind.” The magic of this scene is that it takes just a finger snap for both Cooper and Truman to adjust to this. Hawk might need a little time, but after that heartbeat, everyone’s accepting and is down to business. Denise says she’ll look into things and will get back to everyone, since both she and Cooper are staying at the Great Northern.
We’re at the High School weight room. It’s leg day, and Mike is on the leg press. Nadine sits at an adjacent leg press machine, but not before putting the pin in the maximum weight allowed. She holds his gaze as she pushes the set with ease. Mike asks her what she wants, but she suggests that he’s a little forward. The wrestling coach (Ron Taylor) catches sight of the weight and offers Nadine a position on the wrestling team, much to Mike’s surprise.
Truman is home, and Josie is in bed. It’s morning. Holding each other, Truman asks her to tell the truth about what she’s been keeping secret. She reveals that she worked for a man in Hong Kong named Thomas Eckhardt, who took her off the streets and taught her about business. After that, she met her husband Andrew. When Truman inquires about Mr. Lee, she explains that Lee worked for Eckhardt, who still feels he has a claim to Josie. Josie believes that Eckhardt is who killed her husband, but I’m wondering if she’s not being truthful. Wasn’t it brought to light that Hank Jennings (Chris Mulkey) was involved in Andrew’s murder. Truman accepts this and all is well, for now. I don’t normally enjoy the Josie / Truman scenes, but I’ll admit that this was nice.
At the RR diner, Roger Hardy is having some of the pie there, of which he’s heard great things. Hank and Ernie Niles (James Booth) steps into the room. With great pleasure, Norma (Peggy Lipton) informs Ernie that her mom has left him, which he doesn’t take too well. Hank reassures him that it will allow him to concentrate more on the work at hand.
Meanwhile, Nicky is given his malted, with Andy and Dick at his side. Nicky blows the whipped cream into Dick’s face, and spins Andy’s chair, causing him to fall to the floor. Neither man is faring well with Little Nicky, and by the end of the scene, I’m shocked they haven’t held him down and checked his scalp for triple 6’s.
At Evelyn Marsh’s garage, James is doing the repair work on the Jaguar. She states that her husband, Jeffrey, loves the car and that he’s currently away on business. Jeffrey has to have the most beautiful toys, according to Evelyn. This causes James to have a mini speech about his motorcycle and how it’s more important about where it can take him. As a rider, I can easily relate to nighttime rides to nowhere. It’s a great feeling. Evelyn offers a room for him while he’s fixing the car, leaving him to wonder where all of this is going.
I should also note that the actress who plays Evelyn, Annette McCarthy, bears a wild resemblance to Priscilla Barnes from Three’s Company (an old show from the late 70’s). It’s rather odd.
Back at the Great Northern, Ben Horne (Richard Beymer) is watching old videos of the establishment when Hank walks in. Ben is haggard, scruffy looking and is upset that Catherine Martell (Piper Laurie) has gotten over on him. Ben talks about rearranging the furniture in such a way where it’s aesthetically pleasing to the owner – basically Feng Shui. Hank informs Ben that he’s no longer working for him and that ownership of One Eyed Jack’s has changed. Ben deduces that it’s now Jean Renault (Michael Parks) who owns the establishment. Ben goes back to watching his videos, making finger puppets for his amusement.
In his room, Cooper receives a tape from Windom Earle. On the tape, Windom goes on to say that he and Cooper will cross paths, and eventually, “the King must die.”
We’re at Dougie’s wedding. When the priest asks if there’s anyone who objects, Mayor Dwayne Milford (Dougie’s Brother) chimes in. “She after his money.” He barks, but Truman pulls him to the side. Dougie comforts his bride to be (Robyn Lively) and they continue on.
In his room, Cooper receives a call from Denise, who asks to meet him at the wedding. Cooper takes a brief moment to make a tape for Diane to tell her about what happened Denise.
Cooper finds Denise comfortably sitting at the bar, waving the bridal bouquet. “Unfair advantage”, she says, smiling. “How many of those girls were Varsity wide receivers.” Denise explains that cocaine was found in Cooper’s car, but it does appear to be a frame up. Dwayne watches on as the bride and groom share a piece of cake, and states that his brother’s pretty much a “trout on a hook” when it comes to women. Pete takes the comment in stride, which has me wondering if he was thinking of Catherine at that moment.
Cooper asks Denise what happened to her. Denise explains she was working on a bust where the drug dealer in question “would only sell to transvestites”, so she played the part, found it relaxing, and just kept with it. “It’s not something you exactly plan on.”, She adds.
Dale meets the bride and groom, and Truman chuckles over it. According to him, Dwayne and Dougie have had this wedding fight every year. More partying continues and Cooper shares a dance with Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn), while Andy & Denise are also enjoying themselves on the dance floor. Overall, it was a fun scene, peppering some comedy throughout.
Josie and Catherine come to an agreement that has Josie working for Catherine hand and foot. When Josie leaves the room, Andrew (Dan O’Herlihy, Halloween III: Season of the Witch) steps in and says that everything’s going according to plan. What’s he doing among the living?!
Overall, for a post Palmer Case episode, I thought it did well.Both Duchovny, Robie and the wedding scenes were standouts here. Where it’s all going, I’m not sure I can say. I’m on deck for tomorrow’s episode. We’ll find out then.
The 10th episode of the 2nd season of Twin Peaks opens with a shot of Laura and Leland Palmer’s pictures on the mantle and a title card telling us that it has been three days since Leland’s death.
At the Palmer house, Mrs. Palmer (Grace Zabriskie) is preparing to bury her husband. Doctor Hayward (Warren Frost) tries to give her a shot, which she refuses. Agent Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) assures her that Leland did not actually kill her daughter.
(It’s interesting to note that this episode was directed by Tina Rathone, whose last episode also featured a funeral.)
At Leland’s wake, the entire cast has shown up and they’ve all brought food. Nadine (Wendy Robie) is dressed like a 1950s teenager. Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) wonders if people are invited to wakes or if they just show up. Hank (Chris Mulkey) grabs all the food that he can. Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) tells Ed (Everett McGill) that James is blaming himself for everything that happened. Ed promises Donna that James will eventually come back. Speaking of coming back, Doctor Jacoby (Russ Tamblyn) has finally returned from Hawaii and arrived just in time for the wake.
Cooper tells Harry (Michael Ontkean) and Major Briggs (Don S. Davis) that he has some vacation time coming up so he will be sticking around town for at least a few more days. The Major invites Cooper to go night fishing.
Twin Peaks’s elderly mayor, Dwayne Milford (John Boylan) throws a swing at his equally elderly brother, Dougie (Tony Jay), the owner of the town’s newspaper. As Harry and Ed pull them apart, Pete (Jack Nance) tells Cooper that Dougie and Dwayne have had a running feud for over 50 years. Cooper says he’s really going to miss Twin Peaks.
Fade to commercial.
When the show returns, Ed and Jacoby are at Twin Peaks High School and trying to talk the vice principal (Don Calfa) into admitting 35 year-old Nadine as a member of the senior class. Nadine runs into the office and tells them to hurry up because class is about to start and she wants to try out for cheerleader.
Cooper is in his hotel room, packing. Audrey comes in, says that she’s from customer relations, and asks if his stay has been satisfactory. Audrey asks if Cooper’s just going to leave and break her heart. Cooper explains that he can’t get involved with anyone who was involved in any of his cases. Cooper explains that he once fell in love with a material witness. He was supposed to protect her but, when the attempt was made on her life, he was not prepared and she died in his arms.
At the Johnson house, Bobby (Dana Ashbrook) is trying on Leo’s (Eric Da Re) suit. Bobby is going to try to convince Ben into giving him a job. Shelly (Madchen Amick) is already getting bored with her new life.
At the sheriff’s station, Harry walks into his office and finds Catherine (Piper Laurie) waiting for him.
“Hello, Harry,” Catherine says.
“Forgive me for saying so, Catherine,” Harry replies, “but aren’t you dead?”
Catherine shrugs. She explains that, after the explosion at the mill, she woke up in the woods with no knowledge of how she got there. She says that a guardian angel must have rescued her. She spent a week living in the woods, eating only tuna fish. Harry asks what made her come back. Catherine says that she ran out of tuna fish.
In the lobby, Dick (Ian Buchanan) tells Lucy (Kimmy Robertson) that he wants to talk about their “bambino.” Dick says he wants to be a father, he believes the child is his, and that he’s enrolled in parenting classes. After hiding around the corner and listening to the conversation, Andy (Harry Goaz) walks into the lobby and says that, for the sake of the baby, they should all be friends. As Andy later explains to Hawk (Michael Horse), the key to Lucy’s heart lies in “morals and manly behaviors.”
Cooper stops by Harry’s office to say goodbye. Harry gives Cooper a parting gift of a special fishing lure and a Book House Boy patch. Cooper then says goodbye to Hawk, Andy, and Lucy. However, the goodbyes are interrupted by the arrival of FBI Agent Roger Hardy (Clarence Williams III) and Preston King (Gavan O’Herlihy) of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.
(Long before they both appeared on Twin Peaks, Clarence Williams III and Peggy Lipton co-starred on The Mod Squad. Gavan O’Herlihy is the son of Dan O’Herlihy. Best known for playing Conal Cochran in Halloween III, Dan will join the cast of Twin Peaks in one more episode. As for Gavan, he is probably best known for playing Chuck Cunningham during the first season of Happy Days and getting shot by Charles Bronson in Death Wish II.)
Roger tells Cooper that he has been suspended from the FBI. Cooper’s raid on One-Eyed Jack’s was a violation of FBI policy because it involved crossing the border into Canada. Roger says that there are other allegations as well but they’re waiting for the evidence to arrive. Roger explains that King was involved in a sting operation to capture Jean Renault and that Cooper’s actions screwed it up. Also, the cocaine that King was using as a part of the operation disappeared after Cooper’s raid. Roger tells Cooper that he has 24 hours to assemble his defense.
At the Great Northern, Audrey helps Bobby get into Ben’s office but Ben (Richard Beymer) immediately has Bobby tossed out. Audrey saves Bobby from Ben’s goons. In order to thank her, Bobby buys Audrey an ice cream cone. “I like to lick,” Audrey says.
At Twin Peaks High School, Nadine tries out for cheerleader. Nadine now has Hulk-like super strength now, which she demonstrated by picking up a student and throwing him through the air.
Bobby calls Shelly to tell her about the meeting. While Shelly talks on the phone about how they have to put Leo in a home, Leo moves forward in his wheel chair. “He moved!” Shelly says, shocked.
At the diner, Norma (Peggy Lipton) takes the fancy table cloths off the tables and complains to Vera (Jane Greer) about a bad review that the Double R got from the mysterious travel writer, M.T. Wentz. Vivian reveals that she’s M.T. Wentz and she gave her own daughter’s diner a negative review. Vera says that she can’t violate her professional ethics.
At One-Eyed Jack’s, Hank and Ernie (James Booth) are chasing women and acting like fools. Hank is pressuring Ernie to steal Vera’s money. Ernie says he could never do that, he’s gone straight. That’s when Hank introduces Ernie to his new employer, Jean Renault (Michael Parks). Jean is looking for someone to serve as a money launderer and Ernie agrees, bragging that he has set up deals for everyone from the Colombians to the Bolivians. Jean is pleased and introduces Ernie to his other partner, Preston King of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.
That night, Harry is woken up by someone knocking on the door to his cabin. When he opens the door, Josie (Joan Chen), who was supposed to be in Seattle, stumbles in and collapses.
In the woods, Cooper and Major Briggs are camping, roasting marshmallows, and discussing right and wrong. Briggs says that it is some men’s fate to face great darkness. Briggs asks if Cooper has ever heard of the White Lodge. Cooper says he hasn’t but he looks forward to hearing more about it. Cooper then goes off to relieve himself. There is a flash of white light. “Cooper!” Briggs shouts as a hooded man appears in the woods. Cooper runs back to the camp, just to discover that Briggs has vanished.
This uneven episode finds Twin Peaks struggling to establish an identity after the conclusion of the Laura Palmer storyline. For me, the highlight was Leland’s wake, which showed Twin Peaks as a community. Nadine’s adventures in high school may be cartoonish but they hold up better than I thought they would. Finally, this was the first episode to mention that all-important White Lodge.
Tomorrow, both David Duchovny and Dan O’Herlihy join the cast in Masked Ball.
“In our world, he’s a shoe salesman and lives among the shadows.”
— Special Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) in Twin Peaks 2.8 “Drive With a Dead Girl”
As always, this episode of Twin Peaks starts with the opening credits and, after 15 episodes, Angelo Badalamenti’s theme music has never sounded more haunting and the images of life in Twin Peaks — that mix of machinery and nature — has never seemed more ominous. Things that seemed quaintly beautiful when they were first seen — like the waterfall or that bird sitting in trees — now seem threatening.
The opening credits give us time to reflect on what we’ve seen so far. We’ve seen the venal Ben Horne (Richard Beymer) repeatedly ignore his own family in the pursuit of money. We’ve seen Leo Johnson (Eric Da Re) abuse his wife, Shelly (Madchen Amick). As of the previous episode, we now know Leland Palmer (Ray Wise), previously one of the show’s most sympathetic characters, not only murdered and raped his own daughter but then killed his niece as well.
We open with an exterior shot of the Palmer house. We can hear Maddy (Sheryl Lee), once again, screaming for help.
The next morning, the Palmer house is quiet. Inside the living room, the camera moves over several pictures of Laura. One is of her as a child. Another is that famous homecoming photo. We hear the sound of Leland laughing and immediately notice that there seem to be a lot of golf balls on the floor. The camera pulls back to show us Leland, wearing a suit and looking disturbing cheerful, practicing his golf swing.
James (James Marshall) and Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) knock on the front door. They say that they came by to say goodbye to Maddy but Leland tells them that Maddy has already left. He tells them that she thought they were going to come by the previous night and that she was a little bit disappointed that she didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to them. Smiling like a father from a 1950s sitcom (and, at this point, it’s definitely not a coincidence that Twin Peaks, as a town, often seems to be a relic of a decade that is often thought of as being both “the good old days” and a symbol of repression), Leland says that they could write to her in Montana if they want.
(Today, Leland would never get away with this. James and Donna would be texting Maddy like crazy.)
After James and Donna leave, Leland glances in a mirror and sees BOB (Frank Silva) staring back at him. From upstairs, Mrs. Palmer (Grace Zabriskie), who apparently remembers nothing about the previous night, asks Leland to remember to sign them up for “Glenn Miller Night at the club.”
“Don’t worry, dear,” Leland says, with a big and creepy grin, “I won’t forget.”
Before leaving for the club, Leland grabs his golf bag out of the closet. Briefly, we catch a glimpse of Maddy, stuffed inside the bag.
(AGCK! Seriously, Leland/BOB has got to be one of the scariest things ever.)
In his holding cell, Ben Horne (Richard Beymer) wins my sympathy by 1) being an innocent man accused of a terrible crime and 2) obsessively trying to wipe down the bars of his cell. Seriously, that’s one reason why I could never handle being arrested. Put me in one of the filthy cells and I can guarantee you that I’d do whatever I had to do to get out of there.
A cheerful Jerry (David Patrick Kelly) shows up to see Ben and I was happy that he did. Jerry may be one of the most cartoonish characters on Twin Peaks (and that’s saying something!) but, after spending all that time with Leland/BOB, Jerry’s silliness is a relief. Jerry has just returned from Japan and he even has a small Japanese flag pinned to his suit.
Jerry explains that, since Leland has been charged with murdering Jacques Renault, he will be handling Ben’s case personally. (Of course, neither realizes that Leland is also responsible for the murder that Ben has been charged with.) Unfortunately, Jerry doesn’t appear to be a very good attorney.
However, Jerry is impressed by the fact that Ben has bunk beds, which leads to an odd flashback of Ben and Jerry, as children, watching a woman named Louise Dombroski dancing in their bedroom while holding a flashlight. (Even as children, Ben wore suit and Jerry wore a bowtie.)
“Lord,” Jerry says, from the top bunk in Ben’s jail cell, “what’s become of us?”
Meanwhile, Lucy’s (Kimmy Robertson) back! She shows up with her sister, Gwen (Kathleen Wilhoite), who is telling a long story involving a rusty nail and a purple toe. (I tuned her out because rusty nails freak me out.) Lucy asks Hawk (Michael Horse) if he’s seen Andy (Harry Goaz). Gwen, meanwhile, worries that Hawk “must hate all of us white people after all that we’ve done to you.”
(Did I mention that Gwen had a crying baby with her and how much I was hoping that Gwen would only be around for a scene or two? She’s kind of annoying.)
At the Great Northern, Harry (Michael Ontkean) and Cooper have just finished talking to the One-Armed Man. As they walk past the lobby, they see Leland dancing with a golf club.
(Over the course of watching Twin Peaks, one thing that I’ve really grown to enjoy doing is spotting all of the strange guests who appear to stay at the Great Northern. This episode, the guests appear to be a cross-section of gruff fishermen and Catholic schoolgirls.)
When Harry approaches Leland, Leland apologizes for creating a commotion with his dancing. “Just call me Fred,” Leland says, which might be a reference to Fred Astaire but could just as easily be a reference to the fact that, at this point, Leland has been possessed for so long that it’s debatable whether Leland Palmer even exists at this point. He’s either BOB or he’s Fred but he’s definitely not Leland.
Harry tells Leland that they’ve arrested Ben. Leland says that they’re must be some sort of mistake but then promises Harry and Cooper that he will allow the law to handle it. Leland stumbles out of the lobby. As soon as he’s away from prying eyes, Leland starts to cry but then starts laughing. He is nearly caught by Cooper, who steps up behind him and asks Leland to let him know if he can remember anything unusual about Ben’s behavior on the night of Laura’s death.
(Ray Wise, by the way, gives an absolutely amazing performance in this episode. I don’t care if this episode aired nearly 30 years ago, give that man an Emmy.)
Harry and Cooper return to the sheriff’s station, where they watch as Doc Hayward (Warren Frost) draws blood from Ben’s finger. (Twin Peaks was obviously made before DNA testing became commonplace.)
Jerry is there, protesting Ben’s treatment. It’s obvious that everyone is enjoying making Ben’s life difficult, which actually makes me feel even more sorry for Ben. Cooper reveals that Jerry graduated last in his class, passed the bar on his third attempt, and that his license has been revoked in several states. Hey, Cooper — that’s fine and all but Jerry is absolutely right when he says that Ben is being deprived of his constitutional rights.
Cooper tosses Laura’s diary down in front of Ben, demanding to know if Ben knows what it is. Cooper reads from the diary and tries to goad Ben into confessing. It’s interesting to watch this scene because it’s hard not to feel that the normally upright Cooper has a hidden agenda here. Cooper has become a father figure to Audrey and here’s his chance to get rid of Audrey’s actual father. Twin Peaks is full of bad fathers, both literally and figuratively.
At the Johnson house, Bobby (Dana Ashbrook) listens to that microcassette that he found during the previous episode. It’s a recording of Ben hiring Leo to burn down the Packard Mill. Bobby is excite because this is his chance to blackmail Ben. Meanwhile, Leo (Eric Da Re) spits up all over Shelly and her pretty blue nightgown. BAD LEO!
At the Double R, Norma (Peggy Lipton) is shocked when her mother, Vivian, suddenly shows up! Not only does Vivian appear to be rich but she’s played by Jane Greer, who starred in the classic film noir, Out of the Past.By her presence alone, Greer serves to remind us of the huge debt that Twin Peaks has always owed to the conventions of film noir.
It turns out that Norma’s mom is very critical of both Norma’s cooking and Hank (Chis Mulkey). It is also revealed that Norma’s mom has married a man named Ernie (James Booth), who appears to still be stuck in the 70s.
Norma says that she’s feeling nervous because there’s a food critic coming and that, with Shelly having quit to take care of Leo, she’s short of help. “That’s why you made the place look nice,” her mom says. (Passive aggressive for the win!)
At the Great Northern, the One-Armed Man (Al Strobel) wakes up when his armless shoulder starts to twitch. “He’s close….” he says. Unfortunately, the only other person in the room is a nurse and she doesn’t really seem to be paying attention. The One-Armed Man asks her for a glass of water. When she leaves the room, she passes a deputy.
Now, we’ve never seen this deputy before so I assume that he’s mostly there so he can be killed later on. He walks into the One-Armed Man’s room and the One-Armed attacks him from behind. Bye bye, Deputy Redshirt. “I’m so sorry,” the One-Armed Man says before climbing out a window.
(Actually Deputy Redshirt is just knocked to the floor and doesn’t die but you can still be sure that this would never have happened to Hawk.)
Hank finally shows up at the Double R Diner, apologizing for being late. It turns out that Hank has been missing for a few days. Norma gets mad at Hank but seriously, Hank is the most charming ex-con in Twin Peaks. Hank gets Norma to forgive him but then realizes that Vivian is working in the kitchen. Uh-oh!
Pete (Jack Nance) comes by the sheriff’s office and catches Harry birdwatching. As Pete talked to Harry, I noticed that Harry has a large picture of the other Harry S Truman — the mafia-connected President, old Give ‘Em Hell Harry — hanging in his office. Pete tells Harry that Josie has left Twin Peaks. Pete and Harry both talk about how they both loved Josie. Harry laments that he stood there and watched as Josie left with her assistant. Pete realizes that the “assistant” was probably Catherine in disguise. The fact that Harry has yet to realize any of this gives us some insight into why the FBI has basically taken over the role of law enforcement in Twin Peaks.
Andy finally returns to the sheriff’s station and is shocked to see Lucy, holding Gwen’s baby. Andy sees the baby and, assuming that Lucy somehow gave birth to a 4-month old baby over the weekend, he promptly faints.
Pete sneaks into the holding cells and plays a tape for Ben. Ben listens to Catherine (Piper Laurie) explaining that she’s alive and that she remembers that Ben was with her on the night that Laura Palmer died. Catherine is willing to provide an alibi but only if Ben signs over both the mill and Ghostwood Estates over to her. Pete starts to giggle like a maniac. (Pete! I thought you were a nice guy!) As an angry Ben tears apart his jail cell, another deputy that we’ve never seen before stares in at him.
Meanwhile, Leland is happily driving down a street. He’s singing. Sorry, I’m not going to look up which song that he’s singing. He’d driving rather recklessly, which will certainly bring him to the attention of Cooper and Harry, who are currently driving along the same street. Cooper is even whistling the same song that Leland is singing, a reminder that Cooper is not quite as upright as everyone thinks. He has secrets of his own.
(I was tempted to point out that the scenes of Leland driving are shot in much the same way as the driving scenes in Lost Highway but, seeing as how David Lynch did not direct this episode, I’m going to assume it’s just a coincidence. That said, Caleb Deschanel does a good job of recreating Lynch’s unique visual style throughout this episode.)
Just as I predicted, Leland nearly collides with Harry and Cooper. They pull him over, right next to the golf course. As the three of them talk, we hear the sound of golf balls being hit in the distance, and we are reminded that there is a golf bag in Leland’s trunk and that Maddy is currently in that bag.
Leland lies and says that, on the night Laura was murdered, Ben got a phone call and had an angry conversation with someone about a “dairy.”
“A diary?” Cooper corrects him.
“That could be!” Leland says.
Lucy calls for Harry. While Harry goes back to the police cruiser, Leland asks Cooper if he’d like to see his new golf club. Leland leads Cooper to the trunk of his car. While he’s getting the club, Harry shouts that the One-Armed Man has been found. Cooper looks away from Leland just as Leland sneaks up behind him with the golf club raised…
AGCK!
And yet, I have to admit that I laughed when I saw Leland about to bash the unsuspecting Cooper with that club. It all comes down to Ray Wise’s brilliant performance as Leland/BOB. Wise does such a good job of playing the role that we totally believe that he could successfully fool everyone in town. We know that he was fully capable of killing Cooper at that moment but no one else would ever suspect such a thing to be true. Even though everyone knows that he killed Jacques, everyone still thinks of him as being Leland Palmer, the somewhat goofy 1950s sitcom dad.
At the police station, Andy has recovered. Gwen is talking to him about a time that she fainted in the produce section. “People want terrible things to happen to you,” Gwen tells him, “I know.” Meanwhile, Hawk leads the One-Armed Man through the police station.
In the interrogation room, Harry, Cooper, and Jerry watch as the One-Armed Man walks in a circle around Ben. The One-Armed Man announces that “He’s been close but BOB is not here now!” Jerry demands that Harry either charge Ben or let him go. That may have been a mistake because Harry promptly steps forward and charges Ben with murdering Laura.
Cooper pulls Harry outside and says that they’re “saddling the horse before we’re ready to ride.” Now, suddenly, Cooper thinks that Ben is innocent. Harry tells Cooper that they can’t base the entire investigation on dreams and giants. They need hard evidence and, what little evidence they have, all points to Ben Horne.
At the Great Northern, Vivian is eating dinner with Norma, Hank, and Ernie and critiquing all of the food. OH MY GOD, could Vivian be M.T. Wentz!? While Norma and Vivian excuse themselves to go to the ladies room, we discover that Hank and Ernie were in prison together. Ernie used to be a gambler but he says that he’s “out of it” now.
That night, in his hotel room, Cooper talks into his tape recorder. He says that Ben Horne is in custody and that the investigation is nearly done. The trail, Cooper says, is narrowing but the last few steps are always the most difficult and dangerous.
Someone knocks on the door. No surprise, it’s Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn). She wants to come in and talk to the man who will be her new father figure if Ben is sent to prison. Audrey asks if Cooper arrested her father. Yep. Did he do it? That’s for a court to decide. (Awww, Dale. Your faith in the system is so touching, if misplaced. Never change.) Audrey says that all she ever wanted was for her father to love her and not be ashamed of her.
I watched that little scene with tears in my eyes, becoming so overcome with emotion that it was a bit of a relief when Cooper’s phone rang. After answering it, a suddenly alarmed Cooper orders Audrey to go back to her room and lock the door.
At the waterfall, the police are in full force. Maddy’s body, wrapped in plastic, has been found.
Between Ray Wise’s brilliant performance and that haunting final shot of Maddy, this episode left me exhausted. As uneven as the second season was, this episode (and the one that preceded it) are as strong as anything seen during the first season.
(This Good Friday review of the fifth episode of the 2nd season of Twin Peaks is dedicated to my mom, Gloria Elena Marchi, who would have been 59 years old today. So, it better be a good episode, right?)
This episode of Twin Peaks was directed by Graeme Clifford, an Australian filmmaker who has several films and tv shows to his credit. As an editor, Clifford worked on some of the best films of the 70s, several of which share the surrealistic vision of David Lynch. Among the films that Clifford worked on: Robert Altman’s Images, Nicolas Roeg’s Don’t Look Now and The Man Who Fell To Earth, and the ultimate cult classic, The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
The Orchid’s Curse (and, as I pointed out yesterday, I love the pulpiness of that title) is the only episode of Twin Peaks that he directed. It’s also the first of four episodes to be credited to writer Barry Pullman.
Let’s take a look at The Orchid’s Curse!
Following the haunting opening credits, we get Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan). Dale is waking up in bed and, as always, talking into his tape recorder. He had a dream that he was eating a tasteless gum drop, just to wake up and discover that he was chewing on one of his ear plugs. As I listened to Dale speak, I breathed a sigh of relief. After the previous episode had him acting all out-of-character, it was nice to have the old Dale back.
Dale notices an envelope taped underneath his bed. It’s a note from Audrey, telling Dale that she’s gone up to One-Eyed Jack’s. Okay, Dale — now you know where Audrey is! GO RESCUE HER!
At the police station, Deputy Hawk (Michael Horse) comes in and wow, is he mad! Oh wait — he just has to go to the bathroom. As he explains to Harry (Michael Ontkean), two retired school teachers live in the house next to the Palmer summer home. Neither of them have ever seen BOB before but apparently, they made him drink two pots of tea before telling him that.
Lucy (Kimmy Robertson) tells Harry that she’s going to down to Tacoma to see her sister, who has just had a baby. She offers to stick around long enough to show the temp how to do everything. Harry tells her that they’ve got it covered but Lucy obviously knows better. As an administrative professional, I related so much to Lucy in this scene.
At the Johnson house, a salesman named Mr. Pinkle (David Lander) is showing Bobby (Dana Ashbrook) and Shelly (Madchen Amick) a product that he calls “porto-patient.” Basically, it’s a harness and crane that allows you to drag around a comatose person Shelly and Bobby are obviously planning on having some fun with Leo. Sure, how could that backfire? Bobby does worry that porto-patient appears to be a death trap and that they don’t want to kill Leo because then they won’t get his disability checks. Pinkle explains that it’s either porto-patient or a wheelbarrow.
Meanwhile, Judge Sternwood (Royal Dano) is holding court at the Roadhouse, for some reason. In my last review, I forgot to mention that Judge Sternwood travels with a much younger “law clerk.” I’m going to guess that the character of Judge Sternwood was based on Supreme Court Justice William O. Douglas.
William O. Douglas
Anyway, it’s time for Leland Plamer’s arraignment. Prosecutor Lodwick (Ritch Brinkley) argues that Leland (Ray Wise) should not be given bail because of the seriousness of the crime and “the oft-witnessed instability of Mr. Palmer after the death of his daughter.” Harry speaks on Leland’s behalf. Harry says that Leland is a well-respected member of the community.
(Meanwhile, Deputy Andy (Harry Goaz) gets even more adorable by doing courtroom sketches, all of which are pictures of the back of Leland’s head.)
Judge Sternwood released Leland on his own recognizance, a ruling that will prove to be so ill-thought that it actually could have been issued by William O. Douglas. (But I kid the late Judge Douglas!)
At the Harold Smith House, Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) shows up with another Meals on Wheels tray. Harold (Lenny von Dohlen) is waiting for her, a glass of wine in his hand.
“What’s behind those deep blue eyes today?” Harold asks. Oh, Harold!
Donna says that she’ll share her life with Harold, as a part of his “living novel,” but only if he lets her read Laura’s secret diary. Harold offers to read the diary to her but he emphasizes that the diary must not leave his living room.
Donna starts telling Harold about her life but quickly turns things on him, asking where he’s from and where he grew up. Harold’s from Boston and he says he grew up in books. As I watched this scene, I found myself marveling at Lenny von Dohlen’s wonderful performance. Harold is definitely creepy but von Dohlen still brought a definite sweetness to the character. I actually found myself starting to get a little bit mad at the way that Donna was manipulating him.
Seriously, Donna, don’t hurt Harold!
Donna, apparently, was not listening to me because she snatched Laura’s diary and, teasingly, used it to lead Harold outside. Harold immediately had a panic attack, which should teach Donna an important lesson about trying to act like Audrey.
Back at the Road House, Judge Sternwood rules on Leo’s competency. Leo’s lawyer is played by songwriter Van Dyke Parks and, as I watched this scene, I found myself wondering why every lawyer and judge in Twin Peaks — with the exception Leland Palmer — insisted on dressing like an extra in a 1950s western. I mean, it kind of works and I guess you could make the argument that Judge Sternwood holding court in the Roadhouse is meant to pay homage to Judge Roy Bean.
In other words, Roy Bean + William O. Douglas = Judge Sternwood.
Judge Sternwood summons Cooper and Harry to the bar so that he can deliberate on Leo’s competency while his “law clerk” serves up drinks. Sternwood drinks something called a Black Yukon Sucker Punch. Yuck.
Anyway, because he’s not a very good judge, Sternwood rules that Leo is not competent to stand trail and sends him home with Shelly.
At the Hurley house, Big Ed (Everett McGill) and James (James Marshall) attempt to adjust to a new life in which one-eyed, middle-aged Nadine (Wendy Robie) thinks that she’s a teenager. Nadine goes to get a drink and rips off the refrigerator door. Apparently, that’s something that’s going to be happening from now on.
At the Great Northern, Ben (Richard Beymer) enters his all-wood office and is informed that a Mr. Tojamura is here to see him. Mr. Tojamura is the Japanese man that Ben saw last night, the one who smart viewers will have already figured out is actually Catherine (Piper Laurie) in a not very convincing disguise. Anyway, Tojamura says that he represents an investment firm that wants to invest in the Ghostwood Project and Ben gets all excited and…
WHY ISN’T BEN WORRIED ABOUT AUDREY!?
See, this is one thing that bothers me about season 2 of Twin Peaks. During season 1, Ben was greedy and amoral. He wasn’t a great father but, at the same time, he did love his daughter. That was what made Ben an interesting character. But, in season 2, Ben is just a caricature of an evil businessmen. Reportedly, after not interfering during season 1, ABC interfered a lot in season 2 and it’s obvious when you see how a character like Ben has been robbed of all his nuance.
Ben gets rid of Mr. Tojamura and then suddenly, Hank (Chris Mulkey) pops out of a secret passage and informs Ben that Cooper is on his way. On schedule, Cooper enters the office and Jean Renault (Michael Parks) calls from Canada. Jean wants Cooper to drop off a briefcase full of money at a merry-go-round, at midnight. “Leave it by the horse’s head.”
After Cooper gets the briefcase and leaves, Hank once again pops out of the secret passage. Ben tells Hank to follow Cooper, to make sure the money is delivered, and to bring back Audrey. Hank is confused. Shouldn’t Cooper bring back Audrey? No, Ben explains, Cooper isn’t coming back. Also, because Ben is cartoonishly evil now, he tells Hank to try to bring back both Audrey and the money.
That night, at the Hayward House, Donna and Maddy (Sheryl Lee) are conspiring on a way to ruin Harold’s life. Donna will distract Harold and Maddy will sneak into Harold’s house and steal the diary. Maddy, who tends to jump at her own shadow, seems like the worst possible person to use in a situation like this but then again, maybe that’s exactly why Donna’s using her.
See, this what I think is going on in Donna’s head: Maddy gets caught, Harold kills her, and then Donna gets James to herself. Donna has crossed into the dark side!
At One-Eyed Jacks, Jean and Blackie (Victoria Catlin) are rehearsing how Jean will get the briefcase and then kill Cooper with a blade that he has hidden underneath his sleeve. Can Jean and Blackie just die now? They’re kind of boring as villains. And every minute they’re alive, that’s another minute wasted on this stupid Audrey-bring-held-hostage subplot.
At the police station, Andy is struggling to figure out how to answer the phone and transfer calls. That’s right! Nobody appreciates a good administrative professional until she’s gone! Anyway, Andy calls the lab and discovers that he’s no longer sterile. As Doc Hayward puts it, “They’re not just three men on a fishing trip. They’re a whole damn town.” So, Andy could be the father of Lucy’s baby! Woo hoo! Excited, Andy calls Lucy in Tacoma and is shocked to learn that Lucy is not visiting her sister. Instead, she’s at Adams Abortion Clinic. “OH MY GOD!” Andy say.
In Harry’s office, Harry and Cooper are planning a raid on One-Eyed Jack’s. Hopefully, it won’t take them as long to attack as it took Rick to stand up to Negan on The Walking Dead. (Rick Grimes and Sheriff Truman have a lot in common but that’ll have to wait for a future post.)
Deputy Hawk comes in and says that he found out that the One-Armed Man has been staying at a motel but nobody’s seen him in a while. Hawk found a hypodermic needle and a weird drug in the motel room. “Weird, deep smell,” Hawk says. Harry sends Hawk home, apparently forgetting that Hawk is a member of the Book House Boys and, therefore, there’s no reason to leave him out of the planning of the raid.
At the Double R Diner, Maddy rushes in and asks for a cup of coffee to go. She doesn’t even notice that James is sitting at the counter. James looked a little offended and I was worried he was going to get all weepy but instead, he just said, “Hi.” Maddy says that she can’t talk now and, under Donna’s bad influence, she lies and says that she’s going back home.
At the Harold Smith House, Donna is talking to Harold. Donna tells Harold about the time that she and Laura went down to the Roadhouse to meet boys. The story starts with Laura talking Donna into wearing a short skirt and ends, as these often do, with skinny dipping. Harold, who would have loved Twitter, says that the story was beautiful. Meanwhile, Maddy lurks around outside.
At One-Eyed Jack’s, Cooper and Harry are also sneaking around outside. They’re both dressed in black, like Daniel Craig in the poster for SPECTRE, so we know that it’s commando time! As an owl — “The Owls are not what they seem,” — watches, Harry takes out one of the guards. They sneak through the backdoor and find themselves in the brothel section of One-Eyed Jacks, which is full of young women in lingerie and middle-aged men who all give off a “Ted-Kennedy-About-To-Drive-Mary-Jo-Kopechne-Home” sort of vibe.
Outside the Harold Smith House, Maddy drinks the coffee that she got at the Double R. Meanwhile, inside the house, Harold is telling Donna about orchids. Harold and Donna finally kiss and, overwhelmed, Harold has to leave the room. This is Maddy’s cue to break into the house and help Donna ruin the man’s life.
As Maddy lurks towards the house, Cooper is busy lurking around One-Eyed Jacks. “Hi,” Cooper says, grabbing Jean’s main lackey, “would you take me to Audrey Horne please?” Cooper is led to a bedroom, where an unconcious Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) is tied up. After punching out Jean’s main henchwoman, Cooper untied Audrey.
Meanwhile, Harry is watching Jean and Blackie talking in another room when, suddenly, Jean stabs Blackie to death. Well, that one down. Jean spots Harry and runs off. At the same time, Cooper runs up, carrying Audrey over her shoulder. Cooper and Harry start to run for the exit when they run into a bald man holding a gun.
“Goddammit,” I yelled, “I thought this stupid kidnapping plot was finally over!”
Suddenly, the bald man falls dead. There’s a knife on his back. It turns out that Deputy Hawk not only followed Harry and Cooper to One-Eyed Jack’s but he’s totally cool with killing people. Hawk’s a badass, y’all.
Outside One-Eyed Jack’s, Hank watches as Cooper, Harry, Audrey, and Hawk run off. He calls Ben but is then grabbed from behind by Jean.
At the Harold Smith House, Maddy is looking for the diary but, because Maddy is generally incompetent and no longer wearing her big red glasses, she is struggling to find it. Donna, who is in the greenhouse and waiting for Harold to return, tries to direct her. You can tell Donna’s thinking, “Why couldn’t it have been me and Laura looking for Maddy’s secret diary instead? That would have been so much easier!”
Suddenly, Harold’s back! He’s brought Donna big flower! Harold’s so sweet.
Despite Donna’s efforts to distract him, Harold sees Maddy stealing Laura’s diary. Cornering Maddy and Laura and holding a scary-looking gardening tool, Harold shouts, “Are you looking for secrets!? Do you know what the ultimate secret is!?”
At this point, I was hoping Harold would quote Jean Renior’s The Rules of the Game and say that the ultimate secret is that everyone has their own good reasons. Instead, Harold says that it’s “the secret of knowing who killed you,” and proceeds to use the tool to cut open his face!
NO, HAROLD!
Maddy screams, as well she should. Way to destroy someone’s life, Maddy. I realize that it was Donna’s plan but Maddy’s the one who took too long to find the diary.
Plus, I just don’t like Maddy.
Cooper to the rescue! Yesssssssss!
Anyway, that’s it for The Orchid’s Secret. This was a definite improvement over the previous episode, even with the kidnapping subplot. The performances of Lara Flynn Boyle and Lenny von Dohlen elevated this entire episode while Pullman and Clifford did a pretty decent job recreating the unique style of Lynch and Frost.
— Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) in Twin Peaks 2.4 “Laura’s Secret Diary”
I have to admit that I initially got really excited when I saw who had directed Laura’s Secret Diary.
That’s largely because I misread the name and I briefly thought that the episode was directed by the veteran horror director, Tom Holland. I happen to be friends on Facebook with Tom Holland and I immediately started to try to figure out the least intrusive way to ask him about his experience directing for Twin Peaks… But no, on second glance, it turned out that the director of this episode was Todd Holland. Todd Holland is another veteran director, though he’s best known for directing sitcoms.
Speaking of credits, this episode is credited to four different writers. Along with Twin Peaks mainstays Mark Frost, Harley Peyton, and Robert Engels, credit is also given to Jerry Stahl. Like Holland, Stahl worked on several sitcoms but he’s probably best known for his memoir, Permanent Midnight, in which he wrote about his experiences as a drug addict in Hollywood. Permanent Midnight was later turned into a movie, starring Ben Stiller as Stahl. (Of course, before all that, Stahl wrote the script for an odd sci-fi film called Cafe Flesh, a movie that many consider to be one of the best pornographic films of all time.) As quoted in Reflections: An Oral History of Twin Peaks, Mark Frost says that Stahl wrote the initial script for Laura’s Secret Diary but the script was a “an absolute car wreck… He turned in a completely incomprehensible, unusable, incomplete script a few days late and as I recall there were blood stains on it.” Stahl’s script was rewritten by Frost, Peyton, and Engels.
How did they do? Well, let’s take a look at Laura’s Secret Diary!
As always, we start with the opening credits, attempting to lull us into the town’s false sense of security. What’s interesting is that, with each subsequent viewing of the opening credits, those shots of Twin Peaks and the woods and the waterfall become more and more ominous. Since the series started, we’ve learned a lot about goes on in those woods. We know what’s lurking underneath the surface.
The show begins with a disturbing image, one that feels extremely Lynchian even if it was directed by Todd Holland. We start with an extreme closeup of … well, we don’t know what we’re looking at it. It appears to be a white surface that is covered with dark holes but, only as the camera pulls away, do we realize that we’re looking at the wall of the police station’s interrogation room. On the soundtrack, we hear screams and a distorted voice repeating the words, “Daddy!” over and over again.
(As unsettling as this may be, it’s even more disturbing if you know what’s going to happen in the next few episodes. Twin Peaks is one of the few shows that is even more unsettling in retrospect.)
We then see that Leland (Ray Wise) is staring at the wall while Harry (Michael Ontkean) and Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) attempt to talk to him about the death of Jacques Renault. Leland confesses to the murder, crying as he does so. As always, Doc Hayward (Warren Frost) is standing in the background, watching. Doc Hayward is always watching in the background, almost enough to make me wonder if he’s real or if he’s just a dream character, a symbol of old-fashioned decency who has been fantasized into existence by the beleaguered citizens of Twin Peaks.
After Leland’s confession, Hayward and Cooper talk. When Hayward expresses some sympathy for Leland, Cooper snaps, “Do you approve of murder, doctor?” (This is our first clue that Cooper’s going to spend most of this episode not acting like his usual friendly self.) Cooper then storms off, probably leaving Hayward to wonder just what exactly he did wrong. However, Hayward doesn’t have long to wonder because suddenly, he’s got Andy (Harry Goaz) to deal with.
Andy is concerned that he “flunked” his “sperm test” and wants another shot. Doc Hayward gives him a specimen jar and tells him to put it in a brown paper bag once he’s done with it. “I’ll be in the car,” Hayward says. Andy goes off with the jar and a copy of Flesh World (and I think it might be the same copy of Flesh World that contained Laura and Ronette’s personal ads). Of course, he happens to run into Lucy (Kimmy Robertson), who is none too happy to see her ex-boyfriend heading to the men’s room with a pornographic magazine. “Hmmphf!” Lucy says.
While this drama unfolds, Harry informs Cooper that the judge will be arriving that afternoon. His name is Clinton Sternwood. He travels the circuit in a Winnebago. The district attorney is also coming. His name is Darryl Lodwick. Also, it turns out that no one named Robertson ever rented the house next to the Palmers’ summer cabin. The house is currently rented to a family named Kalispell. I’m assuming that it must be Funny Name Day in Twin Peaks.
Andy wanders by and, being Andy, he accidentally drops his specimen jar and it rolls underneath a chair in the waiting room. As Andy tries to retrieve it, Cooper sees that Andy is wearing the same brand of boots that they found at Leo Johnson’s house. Cooper asks about the boots and Andy thinks he’s asking about sperm and hilarity ensues. Anyway, it turns out that Andy bought the boots from the One-Armed Man, who is apparently still missing.
At the Great Northern, a frantic employee runs up to Ben Horne (Richard Beymer).
“Mr. Horne!” she says.
“Walk and talk,” Ben says and…
Wait a minute! WALK AND TALK!? AARON SORKIN, YOU’VE JUST BEEN RIPPING OFF TWIN PEAKS!
But anyway, the employee informs Ben that she’s heard a rumor that M.T. Wentz is coming to Twin Peaks. Well, of course, he is. It’s Funny Name Day, after all. But apparently, M.T. Wentz is some sort of famous travel writer. No one knows what Wentz looks like but a favorable Wentz review could put the Great Northern on the map.
Ben steps into his office and finds Jean Renault (Michael Parks) waiting for him. Oh my God! M.T. Wentz is Jean Renault!? No, actually, it turns out that Jean is just there to show Ben a video tape of Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) being held hostage. Renault wants money and he wants Dale Cooper to serve as the delivery man.
At the Double R Diner, Hank (Chris Mulkey) tells Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) that she looks pretty today and Donna says, “Thanks,” and considers that Hank is just as troubled as James Hurley but he doesn’t cry as much. However, Hank ruins his chances by making fun of the people on Donna’s Meals on Wheels route. “You wouldn’t understand,” Donna tells him.
Norma (Peggy Lipton) tells Hank that she’s just heard that M.T. Wentz is in town. Hank has no idea who that is. Apparently, they don’t read restaurant reviews in prison. Norma explains that a good review from M.T. Wentz could being a lot of business to the Double R, especially if it appears in a “Seattle paper.” Apparently, Norma is hoping to corner the vegan hipster market.
Though Hank doesn’t know who M.T. Wentz is, he still grabs a hundred dollar bill from the register and then leaves to buy flowers and other stuff that could make the Double R look worthy of a good review. He also tells Norma to call Big Ed. Big Ed can help clean the place up! Norma nods. It’s not as if Big Ed ever has anything else to do.
Meanwhile, Donna is having lunch with Harold Smith (Lenny Von Dohlen) and it must be said that Harold is probably on the cuter end of the recluse scale. Donna has to be happy that she didn’t get stuck with some sort of Howard Hughes-type with uncut finger nails and empty Kleenex boxes on his feet. Harold offers to read something from Laura’s secret diary. Donna says sure.
Harold reads a passage where Laura talks about how much she loves Donna. Laura worried that Donna wouldn’t be her friend if she knew “what my insides are really like.” Donna starts to cry and Harold apologizes. Donna says its okay but she wonders if maybe they should give the diary to the sheriff.
“No,” Harold says, “I’ve read this from cover to cover. There are no solutions.”
(Harold wasn’t the only person who read Laura’s diary from cover to cover. The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer was written by Jennifer Lynch and published shortly before the start of the second season. I’ve ordered a copy from Amazon and I’ll read it as soon as it arrives. Maybe if y’all are really nice to me, I’ll even write a review of it.)
Harold explains that people tells him their stories and he places them in a larger context. “Friends and lovers,” Harold says, even though there don’t seem to be any around. “Maybe you’ll be come one,” Harold says, as the creepy meter goes off the charts.
Meanwhile, at the Great Northern, Ben tells Cooper that Audrey has been kidnapped. Cooper is upset that Ben has circumvented “normal channels” and has contacted him directly. Uhmmm … is it just me or is Cooper kind of being a dick in this episode? This definitely does not seem to be the same Dale Cooper who has been present in every other episode of the show. It’s almost as if the script for this show was written by an outside writer who 1) hadn’t ever really watched Twin Peaks and 2) was struggling with personal issues of his own.
Meanwhile, at the Martell House, Josie (Joan Chen) has returned from Seattle. Oh my God, could Josie be M.T. Wentz!? IT WOULD EXPLAIN SO MUCH! But anyway, Josie tells Pete (Jack Nance) that she’s sorry about the mill burning down and that she’s happy that Catherine was around to take care of things. Pete mentions that Catherine died in the fire. Josie and Catherine share a hug, even as Pete explains that they still haven’t found Catherine’s body but they’re still going to have a service.
“I don’t know what, exactly, we’ll be burying,” Pete says…
Wait! If they haven’t found Catherine’s body, then she’s probably still alive! Maybe Catherine is actually M.T. Wentz…
At One-Eyed Jacks, Emory (Don Amendolia) leads Audrey into an office where a displeased Jean is waiting. Emory says that “Ms. Horne was a very bad girl, refusing to take her medicine.” When Jean realizes that Emory has been hitting Audrey, Jean shoots him. Good for Jean!
At the police station, Andy tries to approach Lucy but Lucy’s like, “Go talk to your magazines!” and she starts waving a big pair of scissors at him. At that point, Cooper walks into the station and tells Andy to go get some air. Cooper’s not in a good mood. He doesn’t have time for all of this. (In the past, Cooper would have made time but, in this episode, Dale Cooper is suddenly a raging jerk.) After Andy leaves, Cooper orders Lucy to explain what’s bothering her.
Lucy complains that Andy doesn’t work out, doesn’t wash his car, and doesn’t own a sports coat. That’s why she dumped Andy and started going out with Dick Tremayne. Tremayne owns a lot of coats, Lucy explains. Cooper asks Lucy if she knows what she wants. “I don’t know!” Lucy wails before running off.
Having ruined Lucy’s life, Cooper tells Harry that, even though he can’t give any specific details, he needs one of the Book House Boys. “The best one,” Cooper says. (In other words, not James.) “I’ll set it up,” Harry says, “9:30 at the Roadhouse.”
(Why do I have a feeling that Cooper’s going to show up at the Roadhouse and find Doc Hayward waiting for him? Actually, the Book House Boys are starting to remind me of the Brets from Flight of the Conchords.)
That night, at the nearly deserted Double R Diner, Norma and Hank watch as a fat man with a beard (Ritch Brinkley) walks in. “That must be him!” Norma says. The fat man orders a cheeseburger and then heads to the bathroom. Hank, proving the he really doesn’t understand how parole works, steals the man’s wallet while he’s gone. Hank quickly discovers that the bearded man is not M.T. Wentz. Instead, he’s Darryl Lodwick, the district attorney. Hank might want to return that wallet.
At another booth, Donna and Maddy (Sheryl Lee) talk. Maddy tries to apologize while Donna smokes a cigarette and glares at her. She wants to steal the diary from Harold’s house. She’ll do it with or without Maddy’s help.
As it rains outside, Harry goes to the Martell house and sees Josie. Josie tries to distract him by modeling a sexy black dress that she bought in Seattle. Being a paragon of truth and justice, Harry refuses to be distracted. He demands to know if Josie set the fire at the mill. “How could you!?” Josie responds. Josie and Harry end up making love on a couch while a mysterious Asian man watches from outside.
(M.T. Wentz, maybe?)
At the police station, as lightning flashes outside and thunder rumbles, Lucy drinks a cup of coffee. Judge Sternwood (played by Royal Dano, a veteran Western character actor) shows up at the station, followed by Harry and Cooper.
Sternwood asks how Cooper is finding Twin Peaks.
“Heaven, sir,” Cooper replies.
“Well, this week, heaven includes arson, multiple homicides, and an attempt on the life of a federal agent,” Sternwood replies.
“Heaven is a large and interesting place, sir,” Cooper says, a line which immediately made me think of Eraserhead and that radiator woman singing that, “In Heaven, everything is fine.”
Judge Sternwood and Cooper walk off and Lucy finally thinks that she can relax and drink her coffee. Suddenly, here comes Dick Tremayne (Ian Buchanan). Now, I have to say that, of all the new characters who showed up during the second season, Dick Tremayne is probably my favorite. He’s just such a salesman. Of course, he’s a jerk, too. But Ian Buchanan gives such a lively performance.
Dick says that he hasn’t slept. He hasn’t eaten. He’s been a fool. Dick has realized that he must do the right thing and that means … giving Lucy $650 for an abortion. Lucy kicks him out of the station and then locks herself in Harry’s office, loudly sobbing.
Andy escorts Leland to his meeting with the judge, only briefly stopping when he hears the distraught Lucy cry out, “OH DICK! WAS IT JUST YOUR ASCOT?!”
Judge Sternwood talks to Leland, saying that he knows Leland to be a decent man and a good attorney. Sternwood says that procedures must be observed but promises to raise a glass with Leland in Valhalla. Since Lodwick is still at the diner, the Judge decides to hold off on determining bail until the morning. Leland says that’s fine and that everyone’s being very nice to him in jail.
After Leland is escorted out, the Judge tells Harry and Cooper that they all have very difficult jobs. Maybe not as difficult as M.T. Wentz’s job but difficult nonetheless.
At the Great Northern, Ben is talking to the Lumber Queen semi-finalists while the mysterious Asian man stares at him. Ben and the Asian Man bow towards each other. The Asian man is checking into the hotel. He says that he only pays in cash and that he’s from Seattle. Oh my God, could it be M.T. Wentz!? That’s certainly what the desk clerk thinks…
Except, of course, we know that it’s not M.T. Wentz. It’s pretty obvious that the Asian man is actually Catherine Martell in disguise. It doesn’t matter how much makeup she wear or how much she lowers her voice, Piper Laurie is Piper Laurie.
At the Martell House, Josie’s cousin, Jonathan (Mark Takano), has arrives. Josie introduces him to Pete. Pete goes off to get coffee and suddenly, Jonathan sneers and says he doesn’t know how Josie survived living in Twin Peaks. Jonathan says they have to get back to Hong Kong. “Are there any complications?” Jonathan asks.
(Oh, there’s always a few. It’s Twin Peaks!)
Meanwhile, at the Roadhouse, Dale waits for the arrival of the best Book House Boy. Now, I have to admit that I was expecting either Hank or maybe M.T. Wentz to come walking through the door. Instead, it’s Harry!
“Are we in any particular hurry?” Harry asks.
“Harry, let me buy you a beer,” Dale says.
Sure, Cooper, why not? I mean, hey, IT’S NOT LIKE AUDREY’S BEEN KIDNAPPED WHILE TRYING TO HELP YOU OUT OR ANYTHING!
Seriously, what’s going on with Dale in this episode?
Hey, Cooper — remember Audrey!?
At the Double R, Hank (who apparently lives in the diner) is woken up by someone knocking on the front door. When Hank goes to answer the door, he is attacked by Jonathan. Jonathan knocks him to the floor and then says, “Blood brother. Next time, I take your head off.”
And this rather frustrating and uneven episode of Twin Peaks comes to an end.
It’s hard to know what to make of Laura’s Secret Diary. There were parts that I really liked, like the opening shot in the interrogation room and some of the humor between Andy, Lucy, and Dick. But, at the same time, you’ve got Dale acting totally out-of-character, the strangely unresolved M.T. Wentz thing, and it’s hard not to feel that Audrey Being Kidnapped is a storyline that should have been resolved in two episodes, as opposed to being dragged out for as long as it was. Audrey is too important a character to spend the first half of season 2 in a daze.
Tomorrow’s episode — The Orchid’s Kiss!
(That sounds like the title of one of the paperbacks that my sister would select for Artwork of the Day, doesn’t it?)
Among fans of the series, the second season of Twin Peaks is a sore point. Almost everyone agrees that it was a let down and that it never matched the brilliance of the first season. The only question is why.
Was it because the first season started as a mid-season replacement and only had to come up with eight episodes worth of story? If the first season had been a full, 22-episode season would it have eventually become as uneven as the second season?
Was it because, as some ABC executives have suggested, David Lynch and Mark Frost were making up their complex story as they went along and, when the second season did not immediately reveal who killed Laura Palmer, they ended up alienating the audience through their self-indulgence?
Was it because, as supporters of Lynch and Frost often argue, ABC demanded more control over the series during the second season? One reason that it was such a shock to hear that Lynch would be bringing Twin Peaks back was because he swore, after the show’s first cancellation and the failure of the Mulholland Drive pilot, that he would never deal with television executives ever again.
It may be that all of the above is true but one thing is for sure. If the first season of Twin Peaks showed how far the medium of television could be pushed, the second season showed just how hard television can push back.
The second episode of the second season, Coma, was directed by Lynch himself. It opens with Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) and Albert (Miguel Ferrer) eating breakfast at the Great Northern. For some reason, members of a Barbershop quarter, all wearing red striped jackets, are standing behind them. Cooper talks about the Happy Generations of Tibet. Albert is not happy about anything, not even Ronette Pulaski waking up. Albert also warns Cooper that his former partner, Windom Earle, has escaped from a mental asylum.
(Windom will be, after BOB, this season’s Big Bad.)
Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) is doing Laura’s Meals on Wheels route. When she brought a meal to Mrs. Tremond, a coughing woman who is confined to her bed, it took me a few minutes to realize why Mrs. Tremond looked so familiar. Mrs. Tremond was played by Frances Bay, who appeared on a classic episode of Seinfeld as a woman who is mugged for her marble rye. (Bay also appeared in Blue Velvet.)
Mrs. Tremond has a grandson (Austin Jack Lynch, the real-life son of David Lynch and Mary Fisk). He wears a tuxdeo, sits in a corner, and says, “Sometimes things can happen just like this,” before snapping his fingers. When Mrs. Tremond sees creamed corn on her meals on wheel plate, says that she asked for no creamed corn and suddenly, the creamed corn appears in her grandson’s hands.
“My grandson is studying magic,” Mrs. Tremond says.
“That’s nice,” Donna says, while the grandson stares at her without the slightest hint of a smile.
Mrs. Tremond tells Donna that she did not know Laura but she recommends that Donna ask “Mr. Smith” next door. “He was Laura’s friend.”
“J’ai une ame soilitaire,” Mrs. Tremond’s grandson adds.
(Deliberately surreal scenes like this might be why ABC executives felt that they needed to step in and assert some control over the show. Fans of David Lynch love this stuff and the scene may not seem that unusual now that we are living in a world where almost every show owes some sort of debt to Twin Peaks but, in 1990, viewers, many of whom were unfamiliar with Lynch’s films, were probably saying, “This is too weird for me,” and changing the channel.)
Donna goes next door and, when Mr. Smith fails to respond to her knocking, she slips a note under his door.
At the hospital, Cooper and Harry (Michael Ontkean) drop in on Ronette (Phoebe Augustine). After some lengthy business about Cooper and Harry trying to figure out how set up a stool so that they can sit next to Ronette’s bed, Cooper shows Ronette sketches of both BOB and Leo. Though Ronette cannot speak, she still shakes her head no when Cooper asks her if Leo is the man who hurt her. However, the sketch of BOB causes Ronette to freak out. “Trrr…trrr…” Ronette says, which Cooper interprets as meaning, “Train.”
At the Great Northern, Ben (Richard Beymer) and Jerry (David Patrick Kelly) sit on the floor and stare at two ledgers. The real ledger shows the Packard Mill slowly sinking into bankruptcy. The fake ledger shows the mill turning a profit. Ben and Jerry are trying to decide which ledger to burn. Since they can’t make up their mind, they decide to roast marshmallows instead.
(Meanwhile, in 1990, a housewife in Michigan says, “This is too weird,” and changes the channel over to Beverly Hills 90210 on Fox.)
At the Double R Diner, Andy (Harry Goaz) has been taping up pictures of BOB and now his hands are covered in tape. The Log Lady (Catherine Coulson) enters and sits down next to Major Briggs (Don S. Davis). Her log has something to tell Maj. Briggs.
“Can you hear it?” The Log Lady asks.
“No, ma’m, I cannot,” Maj. Briggs says.
“I will translate…deliver the message…do you understand?”
“Yes, ma’m, I do.”
At the police station, Lucy (Kimmy Robertson) kills a buzzing fly. Andy, who still has a piece of tape attached to his forehead, comes in and tells Lucy that, when he last donated to the sperm bank, he was told that he was sterile. So, if Lucy’s pregnant, it is not with his child. Lucy pulls the tape off his forehead and refuses to speak to him.
Hank (Chris Mulkey) comes by and signs in with Harry. Cooper watches as Harry and Hank have another tense conversation and, after Hank leaves, he asks Harry how long the two of them were friends. Harry says that Hank used to be a Bookhouse Boy. “Back then, he was one of the best of us,” Harry says.
Before Harry can continue, Ben Horne calls. He tells Harry that Audrey has been missing for two days. Then Jerry comes into Ben’s office and reveals that Catherine never signed the life insurance policy. “Win a few, lose a few,” Ben says.
Suddenly, the newly energized and white-haired Leland (Ray Wise) comes walking into the office. He says that Ben should call Thor Einer in Iceland, just to discover that Ben is already calling Thor Einer. Einer reveals that Leland already called him to tell him about the fire at the mill. Ben assures Einer that the fire is nothing to worry about, all the while glaring at Leland.
Leland sees a sketch of BOB in the corner of Ben’s office. Leland picks it up and says, “I know him.” Leland says that BOB used to live next door to his grandfather’s vacation home. Leland runs out of the office.
“Jerry,” Ben says, “please kill Leland.”
“Is this real, Ben,” Jerry says, “or just some strange and twisted dream?”
(Meanwhile, in 1990, a farmer in Iowa shakes his head, switches over to CBS, and watches Doctor, Doctor, a sitcom starring Matt Frewer.)
At the hospital, Doc Hayward (Warren Frost) updates Shelley (Madchen Amick) on Leo’s (Eric Da Re) condition. The bullet lodged in Leo’s spine. He lost a lot of blood and suffered brain damage. Shelly asks if Leo’s going to be a vegetable. Shelly cries but does not seem to be that upset.
At the police station, someone calls for Sheriff Truman but refuses to reveal their name. Lucy hangs up on them.
At One-Eyed Jack’s, Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) brings a bucket of ice to a room where her boss at Horne’s Department Store, Emory Battis (Don Amendolia), is tied up, blindfolded, and listening to a vacuum cleaner. Emory gets upset with the vacuum cleaner is turned off but is even more upset when Audrey wraps a cord around his throat, rips off his blindfold, and demands to know everything that he knows.
“I work for the owner of One-Eyed Jacks!” Emory says.
“WHO IS!?” Audrey demands, tightening the cord.
“Your father! He owns everything!” Emory goes on to say that Ben know Laura worked at One-Eyed Jack’s and then says, “Laura always got her way! Just like you!”
At night, Bobby (Dana Ashbrook) and Shelly sit in his car and listen to the generic rock station. They talk about ways to torture comatose Leo. Bobby has a plan. Shelly can bring Leo home and then collect his disability checks.
At the Great Northern, Dale records a message to Diane, telling her that Windom Earle has vanished. Unfortunately, as someone who has sat through all of season 2, I already know how long the show is going to draw out the Window Earle storyline. Before I can spend too much time dwelling on that, Maj. Briggs shows up at Dale’s hotel room. Is he delivering the log’s message?
Yes, he is! Maj. Briggs says that he can not reveal the nature of his work or the identity of the message sender but Briggs does reveal that, as a part of his work for the federal government, Maj. Briggs keeps an eye on transmission’s received by deep-space monitors, “aimed at galaxies beyond our own.” Most of the time, the transmissions are just gibberish but, on Thursday night/Friday morning, the following transmission came in:
“The owls are not what they seem.”
This was followed, hours later, by another transmission: “Cooper. Cooper. Cooper.”
(Meanwhile, in 1990, a man in Florida says, “I can’t follow this,” and changes the channel to CBS so he can watch the last few minutes of the first attempt to bring The Flash to network television.)
We now reach one of the most derided scenes in the history of Twin Peaks. At the Hayward House, James (James Marshall) plays guitar while Maddy (Sheryl Lee) and Donna sing a song into a microphone. Supposedly, the inspiration for this scene came after David Lynch walked by James Marshall’s dressing room and heard Marshall playing a blues riff.
Musical interludes are actually one of Lynch’s trademarks. Remember Dean Stockwell and Isabella Rossellini in Blue Velvet? Or Bill Pullman at the jazz club in Lost Highway? Or the Llorando scene in Mulholland Drive? Even the pilot for Twin Peaks had Julie Cruise singing at the Road House. The problem with the scene in Coma is that the song is boring and that the performance seems to drag on forever. Whatever genius that Lynch thought he heard coming from Marshall’s dressing room is not present in the Hayward House.
(In 1990, a Montana rancher gives up once the song reaches the second verse. He switches over to NBC, just in time to catch the final punchline in that night’s episode of a new sitcom called Wings.)
Finally, Donna gets jealous of the way that James is looking at Maddy and runs over to a corner of the house. When James walks up to her, she kisses him.
Way to Go, James!
“Donna,” James asks, “what’s going on?”
Dude, don’t ask questions! Just go with it!
“I’m trembling, James,” Donna says, “You made me.”
Wait, what?
The phone rings. Donna ignores it but Doc Hayward answers and yells downstairs, “Donna, there’s a telephone call for you from a Harold Smith.”
Donna takes the call and asks Harold if they can meet.
Meanwhile, Maddy sits in front of the microphone with a “What did I do?” look on her face. Suddenly, she sees BOB (Frank Silva) walking through the living room. She screams as he climbs over the couch. James and eventually Donna run over to her. Bob has vanished.
At the Great Northern, Cooper has a dream. He sees the Giant. He hears Maj. Briggs saying, “The owls are not what they seem.” BOB appears. His face morphs into the face of an owl and then back again.
Cooper is woken up by the sound of his telephone ringing. It’s Audrey. She’s crying. “Why aren’t you here?” she says. Cooper tells her that she needs to come home.
Suddenly, the call is cut off. Audrey has been discovered by Blackie (Victoria Catlin) and Emory. “Trouble, Ms. Horne?” Blackie says. “You don’t know what trouble is.”
End credits.
But do not worry. Cooper, Audrey, Lucy, and all your favorites will return in the next episode, The Man Behind the Glass, which I’ll be reviewing tomorrow.
Though Chris Mulkey may be best known for playing ex-con Hank Jennings on Twin Peaks, he is also a well-respected character actor who, since the start of his career in the 1970s, has appeared in over 200 different films and TV shows. He has played a countless number of government agents and criminals and he was even one of the deputies who tried to track down Sylvester Stallone in First Blood.
Through the Shattered Lens 