Tag Archives: Blast From The Past

A Blast From The Past: The Fourth Man (dir by Joanna Lee)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today’s Blast From The Past comes to us from 1990 and it’s a scary one.

In The Fourth Man, Peter Billingsley (yes, the kid from A Christmas Story) plays Joey Martelli, an insecure high schooler who thinks that he’ll be more attractive to girls if he becomes more like his best friend, friendly jock Steve Guarino (Vince Vaughn, making his film debut and already physically towering over everyone else in the cast).  With Steve’s encouragement, Joey tries out for the track team and, to everyone’s surprise, he makes it!

Joey is now an athlete.  He finally has friends.  Girls (including Nicole Eggert) are talking to him.  His father (Tim Rossovich) is finally proud of him.  But Joey soon discovers that staying on the track team is not an easy task.  His coach tells Joey that he has to pick up his speed.  Feeling desperate, Joey does what so many other television teenagers before him have done.  He starts taking steroids!  (Dramatic music cue!)  Soon, the kid from A Christmas Story is breaking out in pimples, throwing temper tantrums, and becoming a rage-fueled monster!  Joey only took the steroids because he wanted to be as cool as Steve but, unfortunatey, Joey learns too late that Steve’s success and popularity are not due to how big and strong he is but to the fact that he is played by a young Vince Vaughn.

(Myself, I was fortunate enough to go to a high school where the emphasis was placed more on the arts and intellectual pursuits than athletic success.  My school didn’t even have its own football field.  We had to share with the high school down the street!  Anyway, as a result, I don’t think knew anyone in high school who was abusing steroids and I never had to deal with anyone suddenly flying into a rage and punching a hole in a wall or any of the other stuff that always happens whenever anyone abuses steroids on television.)

The Fourth Man was written and directed by Joanna Lee, who is perhaps best known for playing Tanna the Alien in Ed Wood’s Plan Nine From Outer Space.  (Lee, it should be noted, had a very long and respected career as a writer and director of television dramas.  In many ways, she had the career that Ed Wood imagined that he would someday have.)  Along with Billingsley and Vaughn, the cast includes horror mainstay Adrienne Barbeau as Joey’s mother and football player-turned-horror-actor Lyle Alzado as a man who has his own history with steroids.  The film has good intentions and a good message about not taking shortcuts and being happy with who you are but I imagine that most people will just want to watch it to see Peter Billingsley descend into roid rage.  And I will say that, for all the film’s melodrama, there is something a little bit disturbing about watching fresh-faced Peter Billingsley turn into a physically aggressive bully.

From October of 1990 (and complete with the commercials than ran during the program’s first broadcast), here is The Fourth Man.

A Blast From The Past: The Day My Kid Went Punk (dir by Fern Field)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

First produced in 1987, the short film The Day My Kid Went Punk tells the story of Terry Warner (Jay Underwood), a clean-cut teenager and aspiring violinist who lands a summer job working as a daycare counselor at a luxury hotel.

Feeling that he’s been neglected in favor of his high achieving older brother and his younger sister, Terry acts like a typical middle child and decides to change his image right after leaving home for his job.  (It worked for Jan Brady!)  He decides to become a punk.  (Jan Brady never went that far.)  Could this have something to do with his mother (Christine Belford) being the nation’s leading expert on the “Punk Syndrome,” that is terrifying parents everywhere?  Or could it just be because Terry knows that he’ll never be as cool as his father (Bernie Kopell), who might claim to be named Tom Warner but who is obviously just Adam Bricker living in the suburbs?  Every time Tom looks at his “punk” son, you can just see him dreading the thought of word of this getting back to Captain Stubing.

(Incidentally, the family in film is clearly named Warner but, in all of the advertisements that I’ve seen for this special, including the one at the top of the post, they’re identified as being the Nelson family.)

Needless to say, Terry Warner is, in no way, a convincing punk and judging from the film’s dialogue and plot, it would appear that the film doesn’t really know the difference between punk, goth, and heavy metal.  Everyone at the hotel is a bit taken aback by Terry’s appearance but he proves himself to be a good worker and the kids absolutely love riding horses with him.  I guess the message is that you shouldn’t judge someone based solely on how he looks.  That’s a good message except that it’s ultimately undercut by Terry himself and his decision abandon his punk look as soon as it inconveniences him at school.  So, I guess the message is that teens should dress the way they want unless it keeps them from winning first chair in the school band and parents shouldn’t worry because teenagers are so shallow that they’ll abandon anything after a month or two.  The film suggests that Punk is less of a syndrome and more of a fad that whiny middle children go through during the summer.

(Myself, I’m not a middle child.  I’m the youngest of four and I’ve never felt particularly ignored, even if there were times when it seemed like being left alone would be a nice change of pace.  That said, I definitely went through some phases while I was growing up.  During my junior and senior years of high school, I always made sure that I was wearing at least one black garment and I wrote emo poetry under the name Pandora DeSaad.)

Anyway, Halloween’s approaching and this very (and I do mean very) campy short film feels like a good way to welcome a month that encourages everyone, young and old, to think about putting on costumes.  Here is The Day My Kid Went Punk!

A Blast From The Past: A Very Delicate Matter (dir by Claude Kerven)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today’s blast from the past comes to use from 1982.

In A Very Delicate Matter, teenager Kristin Sorenson (Lori-Nan Engler) spends the summer working at a camp.  After her nominal boyfriend, Greg Pscharapolus (Zach Galligan), fails to call her even once, Kirstin ends up dating her superhot co-worker, Larry (future daytime drama star Grant Aleksander, making his television debut).  Once summer ends, Kristin returns home where Greg apologizes for not calling her.  Kristin takes Greg back and decides not to tell him about Larry.  But then Kristin gets a call from Larry.  Larry tells her that she might want to go by the free clinic and get some penicillin because Larry’s got gonorrhea and there’s a good chance to Kristin now has it as well.  And, since Kristin and Greg previously spent a day making up, Greg might have it too!

The plot description probably makes A Very Delicate Matter sound considerably campier than it is.  For the most part, this is a sensitive and nonjudgmental film, one in which no one is portrayed as being a villain.  (As one doctor points out, even Larry showed more courage than most by immediately calling Kristin and letting her know what was going on.)  While the two leads both give good performances (with Galligan just two years away from starring in Gremlins), the film is stolen by Marta Kober and John Didrichsen, who play the best friends of Kristen and Greg and who have a nice flirtatious chemistry with each other.  Just because your friend has a social disease, the film seems to be saying, don’t give up on love.  Marta Kober is probably best known for Friday the 13th Part 2, which featured its own warning about having unprotected sex at a summer camp.

A Blast From The Past: Ace Hits The Big Time (dir by Robert C. Thompson)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Made in 1985 for CBS, Ace Hits The Big Time is a seriously strange little film.

It tells the story of Horace Hobart (Rob Stone, a likable actor), a 16 year-old kid from New Jersey who has just transferred to a new high school in New York.  He’s paranoid about going to his new school because it’s supposedly populated by gang members.  The school is so notorious for gang activity that the members of the gang even make an appearance on the front page of the paper of record, The New York Freaking Times!  Looking at the newspaper makes Horace Hobart so paranoid that he has musical fantasies in which the members of a gang known as the Purple Falcons surround him, start singing, and then beat him up while doing an interpretive dance.

Horace does eventually find the courage to go to his new high school but he insists on calling himself “Ace,” he wears a jacket with a fearsome dragon embroidered on the back of it, and he wears an eye patch because he’s got …. ewwww …. pink eye.  (Remember when Bob Costas got pink eye at the Olympics and traumatized thousands of viewers by insisting on going on the air every night and talking about snowboarding while struggling to keep his eye from popping out of its socket?  Those were crazy times!)  Ace looks so tough that the real Purple Falcons mistake him for being an associate of a notorious New Jersey gang (no, not the Sopranos) and they recruit him to be a member of their gang.  Ace is so convincing as a tough guy that a film crew decides to use him and his friends as extras in a movie!  (Interestingly, the director is really involved in picking and working with the extras.  There’ll be no second unit crap for Ace and the Purple Falcons!)  Unfortunately, another gang insists on trying to make the Purple Falcons look bad.  Fortunately, Ace is able to defuse the tension by baking a cake.  What?

This is like the dorkiest version of West Side Story ever made and I can’t really figure out what the message is supposed to be.  On the one hand, Ace is totally paranoid about any sort of gang violence and goes out of his way to try to prevent a gang war.  On the other hand, even before Ace shows up and starts quoting John Lennon, neither one of the show’s gangs are particularly violent or even intimidating.  The Purple Falcons are pretty much impossible to take seriously because they’re called “the Purple Falcons.”  (They all wear purple, as well.  I guess some other gang had already claimed all the cool falcon colors.)  They really don’t do any sort of “gang” stuff.  Instead, they eat a lot of pizza and appear in a movie.  That sounds like a pretty good deal, actually.  With its mix of dorky humor, random dance numbers, and “tough” gang talk, this is one of those old time capsules that simply has to be seen to be believed.

And here it is!

A Blast From The Past: Hired!

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Since today is Labor Day, I figured this would be a good time to share a short film about management….

Wait, that doesn’t sound right.

Well, no matter.  The boss in Hired! may not be eligible to join a union but, as we can see in this 1941 film, he’s still willing to work hard.  Or, at least, he’s willing to work hard after his father drunkenly calls him out for not being a very good boss.  On the surface, this short film might look like it’s about Jimmy and his struggle to convince people to buy a new car.  But, actually, it’s about a boss who needed to be reminded of the importance of working with his employees and helping them out.  Of course, it could also be possible that Jimmy is struggling because he’s incredibly awkward for a salesman.  And the boss could be struggling because he’s a middle-aged man who apparently still lives at home with his parents and takes orders from his cantankerous father.  One gets the feeling that there’s enough underlying resentment in this film to fuel a season’s worth of Arthur Miller plays.

Hired! was made for Chevrolet and it was meant to teach managers how to inspire their salesmen.  Of course, given that the film was made in 1941, it’s probable the Jimmy enlisted in the armed services after Pearl Harbor and eventually came back home as such a big war hero that he really didn’t need a job selling cars anymore.  Instead, Jimmy ran for Congress and eventually chaired the House Oversight Committee.  That’s what I hope happened.

Enjoy Hired!

A Blast From The Past: How To Keep A Job

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Just in time for the Labor Day, here’s a short film from 1949 about How To Keep A Job!

Edward is kind of a dummy.  He goes to a job interview and spends the whole time not only trashing his former employer but also trying to avoid admitting that he was fired from his previous job.  Fortunately, the man interviewing him can tell that Edward still has potential, despite the fact that he’s kind of a squirmy idiot.

The interviewer tells Edward the story of twin brothers who worked in shipping.  One brother was smart and responsible and always a good worker.  That bother is now on the verge of being promoted.  The other brother, Walter, was irresponsible and more concerned with getting ready for a date than actually doing his job.  The message would seem to be that Edward is running the risk of turning into Walter but wait a minute!  There’s a twist!

This is certainly an earnest short film.  Of course, when seen today, it’s more goofy than educational.  I have to admit that films like this always used to make me feel guilty because they’re like, “You must follow these exact steps to get and keep a job,” and I’m over here like, “Or you can just wait for a friend of your mom’s to give you a job!”  But anyway, here’s How To Keep A Job!

A Blast From The Past: Maintaining Classroom Discipline

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Since this is Labor Day weekend, it seems like an appropriate time to share a short film about one of our most valuable professions, teaching.

In 1947’s Maintaining Classroom Discipline, Mr. Grimes is a Math teacher who is disappointed in his stupid, stupid students.  How should he deal with them?  This short film gives us two options.  The first half of the film (which, if we’re going to be honest, is the more fun half of the film), Mr. Grimes is hard-nosed and sarcastic, telling the students that he’s very disappointed in them and giving them all detention when they make fun of him.  (One of them even misses football practice!)  This approach does not work and, instead, leads to montage of Mr. Grimes giving detention to student after student.  One student is kicked out of class and told not to return until he’s ready to apologize.  I mean, seriously, Mr. Grimes is basically telling him that he can just leave the school if he wants.

The second half of the film features Mr. Grimes instead being polite about the low test score and patiently explaining to his students how ratio works.  When one student tries to make fun of Mr. Grimes, the entire class rolls their eyes.  Earth-2 Mr. Grimes is a good teacher and his class would die for him!

Personally, if I was a teacher, I have no idea how I would maintain discipline.  I’d probably just make sure that my classroom was near the principal’s office so I can pull him in whenever I wanted to.  To me, the worst thing about giving a student detention isn’t the fact that the student will resent you for it but that apparently, you’re required to stick around until detention has been served.  Seriously, I enjoy working and all but I also like going home.

Anyway, let’s all learn from Mr. Grimes, shall we?

A Blast From The Past: The Secretary’s Day

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Since we are entering the Labor Day weekend, this seems like a good time to share a blast from the past that comes us all the way from 1947.

In The Secretary’s Day, viewers are told and shown what it takes to be a secretary.  Do you know how to take dictation?  Do you know how to carefully open up letters?  Do you know how to be courteous to random people who wander into the office?  More importantly, do you know how to make sure that Marge the Stenographer never gets into her head to try to seal your job away from you?

I watched this short film with a bit more interest than usual because I actually have worked as an administrative assistant in the past.  Watching the film’s lead character obsess over her desk calendar brought back some memories but I think that just has more to do with the fact that I’m obsessed with calendars than anything else.  To me, the main message of this film seemed to be, “A secretary’s day is pretty dull but at least she can bully the stenographer.”

Anyway, here’s a trip back to 1947!  The war is over, the Great Depression was now a memory, and Americans, flush with victory, were looking for jobs!  Check out The Secretary’s Day!

A Blast From The Past: Face to Face With Communism

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

In this short film from 1951, a young American airman goes to a small town while on furlough.  He goes to sleep in a freedom-loving American town but, when he wakes up, things have changed.  The people are no longer friendly.  The streets are patrolled by sinister soldiers.  A man gives a speech in the town square, announcing that no one is allowed to defy the state.  When a woman tries to speak up, she’s grabbed by soldiers.  When the airman tries to defend her, he’s grabbed as well.  A judge listens as the airman defends America and the first amendment.  The judge says that the airman would make a good propagandist.  The airman would rather be executed.

What’s happened!?

Well, here’s what the newspaper says:

That’s right!  The communists have taken control and apparently, it only took them a few hours to do it.  The airman somehow slept through the whole thing.  It really does make me wonder whether he’s someone who I really want in an important position when it comes to defending this country.  Sleeping through a communist coup takes a lot of effort.

Fear not, though.  There’s a twist ending.  I won’t spoil it, other than to say that it makes about as much sense as a member of the Air Force sleeping through a communist coup.  You can watch it for yourself:

On the one hand, this film is pure propaganda.  On the other hand, authoritarianism has become very popular lately and not just among communists.   This short film may be heavy-handed but it probably seems a bit less heavy-handed today than it did just a few years ago.  In the film, the enemy is communism.  In real life, the enemy is anyone who would say that freedom of speech and thought should be curtailed.  It’s true that they always have what sounds like a good reason for sacrificing freedom, whether it be to protect the workers or to protect the children or to make the world a safer place.  But, in the end, the main goal is to make sure that only one voice can be heard.

Watch this short film on a double bill with the original Red Dawn.  What a great way to celebrate May Day.

A Blast From The Past: The Holy Roman Empire

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

It may seem strange to celebrate the Ides of March by sharing an educational film about The Holy Roman Empire, seeing as how it was famous for being neither holy nor Roman nor an Empire.  But then again, the fact that the name “Roman Empire” was still being appropriated into the 19th century shows you just how powerful a hold the Roman Empire had over people’s imaginations.  Everyone wanted to be Roman and everyone wanted to be a part of an empire.  Of course, there would have been no Roman Empire if not for the Ides of March.

Add to that, this 1961 film features not only a teacher but also historical reenactments.  I love cheap looking historical reenactments!

Here, for your educational viewing, is a blast from the past.  From 1961, it’s a look at The Holy Roman Empire!