Grind is about four annoying skaters who are obsessed with bodily functions and who want to get sponsored so they travel across the country and try to con their way into competing in events. Adam Brody plays the skater who lets them use his college fund to pay for their road trip, which was really stupid of him to do. They got sponsored but not because they’re any good. They just happen to meet a skater named Jamie (Jennifer Morrison) who knows their hero (Jason London) and helps them out because she’s nice. I’m nice too but I wouldn’t have helped out those chuckleheads. I guess the lesson here is that you should just stand around and eventually, someone will give you some money.
When I started Grind, I thought it seemed familiar but I could have sworn that I have never seen it before. Then Matt (Vince Vieluf), one of the most disgusting character to ever appear in a movie, told a woman that he was a representative of the “Release Them Twins Foundation,” and I remembered that, when this movie came out, MTV used to show the commercial for it a hundred times a day. I remembered thinking, at the time, that it looked like the dumbest movie ever made and it turns out I was right.
If I had to choose between rewatching Grind or watching two hours of projectile vomit, it wouldn’t be a choice because they’re pretty much the same thing.
In 2025’s MyAmishDoubleLife, Lexi Minetree plays Emma, a young Amish woman who suspects that her father was murdered and who starts sneaking into the city so that she can see for herself what life is like amongst the English.
While hanging out at the club with her friend Rebecca (Rebecca Coopes), Emma meets the handsome and charming Heath (Ty Trumbo). When Emma, much like Cinderella at midnight, announces that she has to go home, Heath asks her to meet with him the next day. He says he really likes her. Even though it goes against her way of life, Emma does so. In fact, Emma even ends up at Heath’s large and beautiful home. Unfortunately, when another woman is murdered by a scythe-wielding assailant, Emma finds herself trapped in a web of deception and danger!
Oh, the Amish! I feel kind of bad for them. For the most part, they just want to be left alone but, over the past few years, Lifetime and Hallmark have become obsessed with them. As a result, we’ve gotten several movies about life amongst the Amish. On Hallmark, Amish men and woman are falling in love with the English. On Lifetime, young Amish women are having to solve murders and stand up to condescending male elders. For the most part, most of these films present the Amish as just being a bunch of people who wear old timey clothes and work on farms. And certainly, I imagine that the farms and the clothes are an important part of Amish life but it’s still hard not to feel that most of these movies are simplifying things a bit. If nothing else, they tend to ignore the huge role that both religion and pacifism play in the Amish community. There’s also a tendency to assume that every Amish person secretly yearns to sneak off to the big city. In the movies, the Amish obsess about life amongst “the English.” In reality, it seems to be the other way around.
(I should mention that there’s a fascinating documentary called Devil’sPlayground, which follows a group of Amish teenagers on Rumspringa. I recommend it for anyone who is curious about the Amish.)
But what about MyAmishDoubleLife? Is it an entertaining film? Heck yeah, it’s an entertaining film. I mean, let’s set aside the question of accuracy. This is a Lifetime film. You’re not watching it for accuracy. You’re watching it for the melodrama. You’re watching it for the mystery. You’re watching it for the clothes and the houses. That’s why we watch Lifetime films. MyAmishDoubleLife had a good mystery, one that features several viable suspects. Clothes? Not only did we get old timey Amish clothes but we also got sneaking off to the club in the middle of the night clothes! Houses? Heath lives in a mansion and the Amish farmhouses were pretty cozy too! And melodrama? This film totally embraced the melodrama! Lexi Minetree was a sympathetic lead, Lesa Wilson did a good job as her overprotective mother, and Rachel Coopes was a force of chaos as the Amish girl who liked to break the rules. It was an entertaining film, which is the main thing that a Lifetime film should be.
Seriously, though — if you’re in Pennsylvania and you see a horse-drawn buggy on the road, be polite when you pass and don’t gawk. The Amish are just living their lives.
The Surfer (Nicolas Cage) is an American who has returned to the Australian beach where his dad used to surf. He wants to buy a home overlooking the ocean. Even more importantly, he wants to surf with his teenage son (Finn Little). As the Surfer and his son walk towards the water, they are confronted by three men. The leader of the men goes by the name of Pitbull (Alexander Bertrand).
“Don’t live here,” Pitbull says, “don’t surf here.”
The Surfer assures Pitbull that his son is an amazing surfer. (The Surfer’s son looks embarrassed.)
“Don’t live here, don’t surf here,” Pitbull replies.
Pitbull is a member of a cult of local surfers, all of whom follow Scally (Julian McMahon), a self-appointed guru who recites his rules with a ruthless but charismatic intensity. Scally brands his followers, burning their flesh in a ritual to announce that they are now a part of his family. “Before you can surf, you must suffer,” Scally says.
Now, to be honest, I would just go to a different beach. I’m not a surfer. I’m not even that much of a swimmer. I do, however, enjoy laying out on a nice beach or by a big swimming pool. One thing that I’ve learned is that, when the cult arrives, you leave. Seriously, there’s always somewhere better to go. Any place that does not have a cult will be infinitely better than a place that does.
The Surfer’s son agrees with me and suggests just going to another beach but that’s not an option for the Surfer. The Surfer is obsessed with Scally’s beach and he’s determined to surf it. It was on that beach where the Surfer made his best childhood memories. It was on that beach where his father died. The Surfer sends his son back home and then the Surfer literally moves into his Lexus. He sleeps in the parking lot and he keeps an obsessive eye on the beach.
People come and go. The Surfer meets the Bum (Nic Cassim), who claims that Scally is responsible for the death of both his dog and his son. A local cop comes by and is quickly revealed to be a member of Scally’s cult. The Surfer become more and more disheveled. He loses his money. He loses his car. He runs into his real estate agent (Rahel Romahn) but the agent says that he’s never seen the Surfer before. The Surfer starts to hallucinate and can no longer keep straight who is who. What at first seemed like an intense midlife crisis and a desire to reclaim one’s youth starts to seem like something much more troubling and potentially psychotic. Everyone tells The Surfer to leave. Everyone tells him that he’s never going to get his house and he’s never going to surfer the beach. But, like the Bum, the Surfer is a man obsessed.
TheSurfer is an intriguing film. At first, it seems like it’s going to be another Nicolas Cage revenge film. Then, it becomes a surreal head trip, one that leaves you wondering just who exactly Cage’s surfer actually is. Unfortunately, the film loses it’s way during its final third and instead becomes a rather mundane thriller. That said, the cinematography is gorgeous and, if you’re a fan of Cage’s unique style (as I am), this film allows him a chance to get totally unhinged. I wish the film had stuck with its surreal implications rather than chickening out during the final third but still, TheSurfer and Nicolas Cage held my interest.
For this Father’s Day, I’m dedicating today’s song of the day to my father. I miss you, Dad.
He was a hard-headed man He was brutally handsome, and she was terminally pretty She held him up, and he held her for ransom in the heart of the cold, cold city He had a nasty reputation as a cruel dude They said he was ruthless, they said he was crude They had one thing in common, they were good in bed She’d say, ‘Faster, faster. The lights are turnin’ red.” Life in the fast lane Surely make you lose your mind, mm Are you with me so far? Eager for action and hot for the game The coming attraction, the drop of a name They knew all the right people, they took all the right pills They threw outrageous parties, they paid heavenly bills There were lines on the mirror, lines on her face She pretended not to notice, she was caught up in the race
Out every evening, until it was light He was too tired to make it, she was too tired to fight about it
Life in the fast lane Surely make you lose your mind Life in the fast lane, everything all the time Life in the fast lane, uh huh Blowin’ and burnin’, blinded by thirst They didn’t see the stop sign, took a turn for the worse
She said, “Listen, baby. You can hear the engine ring. We’ve been up and down this highway; haven’t seen a goddam thing.” He said, “Call the doctor. I think I’m gonna crash.” “The doctor say he’s comin’, but you gotta pay him cash.” They went rushin’ down that freeway, messed around and got lost They didn’t know they were just dyin’ to get off And it was life in the fast lane Life in the fast lane
Songwriters: Joseph Fidler Walsh / Glenn Lewis Frey / Donald Hugh Henley
4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films is all about letting the visuals do the talking.
Today, on what would have been his birthday, the Shattered Lens remembers director Herschell Gordon Lewis. It’s time for…..
4 Shots From 4 Herschell Gordon Lewis Films
Blood Feast (1963, dir by Herschell Gordon Lewis, DP: Herschell Gordon Lewis)
Color Me Blood Red (1965, dir by Herschell Gordon Lewis, DP: Herschell Gordon Lewis)
Something Weird (1967, dir by Herschell Gordon Lewis, DP: Andy Romanoff)
The Wizard of Gore (1970, dir by Herschell Gordon Lewis, DP: Alex Ameri and Daniel Krogh)
Jeff and I are on vacation for the next two week and I imagine it’ll be something like this, except with no bearded guys and maybe a nicer car. That said, I love the dream-like feel of this video. It’s like driving into another dimension.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewingthe Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and Peacock!
This week, Howard goes for a higher office!
Episode 3.18 “Vote For Me”
(Dir by Alan Erlich, originally aired on January 16th, 1988)
The local Business Owners Association asks Howard to run for city council because …. well, I’m not sure why they would ask Howard. Howard refuses but then he sees his campaign assistant Lila (Heather Smith) and changes his mind.
Howard is shocked to discover that he will be running against a former baseball player and local celebrity named Patrick O’Malley (Bill Lake). Everyone agrees that there is no way that Howard can win and that’s pretty much the entire episode. Howard never has a chance, he screws up every opportunity that he’s given, and he ends up getting 400 votes and running behind a write-in campaign for Edna. (Edna answered some questions in Howard’s place when the latter was late to a campaign forum.) Howard is stunned by his loss. Viker says that he was not one of the people who write in Edna’s name before mentioning, “I voted for O’Malley.” Howard promises to take his employees to the best party in town, the O’Malley victory party.
This was a weird episode. It’s unfortunate that it didn’t work because the idea of a bumbling egomaniac like Howard running for political office definitely had potential and I will admit I did laugh at Howard’s insane explanation of why getting rid of the police would get rid of crime. (To be honest, it really wasn’t that different from the arguments I heard during the Defund protests.) But the show wrote itself into a corner by making Howard such an idiot that there was never any chance of him actually winning. The entire episode was essentially scene after scene of Howard saying something dumb while everyone else rolled their eyes. It got predictable fairly quickly.
I think if Jack Christian had been the one who was recruited to run for city council, the episode could have worked. Christian is as much of a jackass as Howard but Jeff Pustil always manages to give the character a hint of insecurity so you root for him despite your better instincts. Howard, on the other hand, is often portrayed as being so incredibly dumb and clueless that it’s difficult really get involved in his attempts to be something more than just a grocery store manager.
Through the Shattered Lens 