In the creepy 1974 film, Peter Graves plays a father who goes on a camping trip with his two teenage children (one of whom is played by Kathleen Quinlan). A sudden earthquake and a solar flare causes the trio to try to return to civilization, where they discover that almost everyone has been reduced to a powdery substance and there are only a few crazed survivors. They try to make their way back to their home in Malibu, facing danger at every leg of their journey.
(It’s almost a low-budget and far more dramatic version of NightoftheComet.)
Effective despite its made-for-TV origins, WhereHave All The People Gone? was obviously mean to serve as a pilot for a television series. The series didn’t happen but, even with a somewhat open-ended conclusion, the movie still works.
I was unable to find anything on IMDB for this film; so, I used this photo from a previous review where it looked like they were going for a Santa Pedo vibe. Read that review below:
Unidentified is about an ordinary guy who sees an alien invasion. This concept is so overdone that it is really its own subgenre of suckiness. Some random schmoe sees aliens and is unable to do anything about it accept die?! Mr. Filmmaker of Unidentified, why you are bothering me this garbage? Who cares?!
Hear me, it’s one thing if the ordinary person is heroic or we are setting up the story or he causes a resolution, but when it’s just some doofus driving around for 60% of the short, you are wasting my time! Mr. Filmmaker of Unidentified, I understand that creating a story is hard like how you must be always confused when you try to get the mail or turn on your phone, but that doesn’t mean you should pursue the art of film. Instead of making these terrible shorts that lack even a basic story let alone an ending, how about working on a simplistic craft? I’ll even consider putting it on my fridge! Really, my fridge has some prime real estate on it: magnets, shopping list sticky notes, and stains if it’s my housecleaning day.
If this terrible film did pique your interest…..somehow, the story is a British man in a sedan who drives for several minutes and sees a big monster- yep, that’s it. UGHHH. Maybe Alex Magana has a British cousin?
After starting his career as a cinematographer and a visual effects engineer, Mario Bava made his directorial debut with 1960’s Black Sunday, starring Barbara Steele!
2. Black Sabbath (1963)
In 1963, Bava directed one of his most popular films, the horror anthology Black Sabbath. The trailer put the spotlight on the great Boris Karloff.
3. Planet of the Vampires (1965)
One of Bava’s best films, Planet of the Vampires, was later cited by many as an influence on the Alien films.
4. Bay of Blood (1971)
One of the first slasher films, Bay of Blood was also a social satire that featured Bava’s dark sense of humor.
5. The House of Exorcism (1974)
When it was released in the United States, Bava’s Lisa and the Devil was re-titled House of Exorcism and, after new scenes were filmed, sold as a rip-off to The Exorcist.
6. Shock (1977)
Bava’s final film as a director was Shock, which starred Daria Nicolodi as a woman who is being haunted by the ghost of her first husband.
Cliff Richard sings about how he became cursed after seeing a black cat with yellow eyes. Cliff went to a fortune teller, asking her to lift the curse but it turned out that the fortune teller was the one who cursed him in the first place!
The message? If it can happen to Cliff Richard, it can happen to anyone.
In 2010’s Holyman Undercover, David A.R. White plays Roy. Roy is an 18 year-old Amish dude from Kansas. It’s time for him to experience Rumspringa, a period in which he can live life amongst “the English” and decide whether or not he wants to commit to being Amish. Roy decides to go Los Angeles so he can track down his uncle and work with him as a missionary.
Roy struggles in Los Angeles. Giving money to one homeless man leads to him nearly getting mugged. When he meets his uncle, he discovers that Brian (also played by David A.R. White) is now a struggling actor who has a taste for cocaine. (Brian claims that he’s a holyman working undercover.) Accompanying Brian to an audition leads to Roy getting cast as Satan on a primetime soap opera. His wife is played by vapid supermodel Tiffany Towers (Jennifer Lyons). Meanwhile, the show’s producer is a former country girl named Annie (Andrea Logan White) and soon, Roy is having fantasies about Annie dressing up like an Amish woman and dancing in a field with him. However, the head of the network (Fred Willard) wants Roy to date Tiffany because it’ll be good publicity for the show.
Throughout it all, Roy remains innocent and confused about the modern world. He’s never watched television. He doesn’t know how to use a phone. He doesn’t understand what a credit card is. He’s earnest and honest to a fault and, even after Tiffany makes out with him, he continues to insist that he only has eyes for Annie.
Of course, in reality, I imagine that the typical Amish person knows how to use a phone. I imagine that they probably also know what a television is and they probably even understand that you’re expected to pay your credit card debt. The Amish may choose to reject a good deal of the modern world but that doesn’t mean that they don’t know what the modern world is. But this film isn’t meant to be a realistic portrayal of the Amish or of Hollywood or of really anything.
Indeed, I’m not really sure what to make of this film. It’s faith-based and it ends with Roy delivering a simple message about loving others but the film’s humor is often rather mean-spirited and there’s several jokes that are more than a little racist and homophobic. (Japanese tourists take pictures while shouting, “Godzilla!” When Brian ends up in jail, his cellmate is a hulking black man who says his name is Beef because “it’s what’s for dinner.”) David A.R. White is not bad as Roy but his performance as Brian is incredibly shrill and there’s really no reason, beyond ego, for director White to have cast himself in both roles.
Probably the best thing that one can say about the film is that the name actors — Fred Willard, Clint Howard, Edie McClurg, and Staci Keanan — all manage to survive with their dignity intact. Indeed, the highlight of the film is, believe it or not, John Schneider earnestly playing himself as the actor who replaces Roy as Satan and who then promptly launches a presidential campaign. “The country’s going to Hell anyway!” he says, with just the right amount of self-awareness.
Interestingly enough, the film does end with one particularly prophetic scene, as Roy and Annie leave Hollywood to produce an Amish dating show. Tiffany moves with them to the farm and a group of Amish men compete for her hand in marriage. Farmer Wants A Wife, anyone?
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi: The Next Generation, which aired from 2001 to 2015! The series can be streamed on YouTube and Tubi.
Whatever it takes, I know I can make it through….
Episode 1.9 “Coming of Age”
(Dir by Bruce MacDonald, originally aired on Mary 13th, 2002)
Degrassi: The Next Generation‘s slogan used to be “Degrassi goes there!” and that’s certainly the case with this week’s episode. Emma goes from being irrationally annoyed by Sean and Manny to crying while watching a documentary about space. Spike decides to cheer her up by taking her to the mall. After Spike tells off a random man who makes a misogynistic comment (Go Spike!), she buys Emma a new white skirt to help her get over her depression.
(Awww! My mom used to do the same thing for me whenever I was depressed.)
The next day, Emma wears that cute, bright white skirt to school.
And gets her first period.
This episode is a good reminder of why you never wear white when your period is coming. It’s also a good reminder that your period is nothing to be ashamed of, which is something that we shouldn’t have to be reminded of but, unfortunately, we sometimes do. When Emma delivers her book report while wearing oversized gym shorts, JT makes a dumb comment asking if Emma had an accident. Emma replies that “No, I just got my period for the first time …. it happens to 50% of the population. Perfectly natural, nothing to be ashamed of.” Woo hoo! You tell ’em, Emma! And seriously, go to Hell, JT. No wonder you’re going to end up dying in another 5 seasons.
Seriously, Emma’s character usually annoys me to death (and, in later episodes, you’ll see why) but she rocks in this episode. But you know who is really cool in this episode? Paige, who comes to Emma’s rescue with a pad and assures her that coming of age is no big deal.
As for the other storyline …. eh. It’s another boring Ashley/Jimmy storyline. Jimmy’s parents are professionals who are too busy working to make dinner for their son. So, Jimmy has been hanging out at Ashley’s house. Ashley gets tired of her boyfriend always being around. When Toby overhears Ashley whining to her mother about Jimmy always being at the house, he tells Jimmy.
Did I mention that it’s Jimmy’s birthday?
Long story short, Jimmy breaks up with Ashley and ends up spending his birthday alone, eating pizza. Oh my God! That’s so sad! Seriously, couldn’t he at least have gotten Spinner to come over and split a Ritalin with him? But, the next day, he and Ashley get back together. This will be a recurring theme through Jimmy and Ashley’s time on Degrassi so get ready for a lot of break-ups and make-ups.
(I still found it funny that part of Ashley’s issue with Jimmy hanging out at the house was that he was bonding with Toby. I can only imagine how Toby feels about having Terri basically living in the room next to his. This season, it’s hard not to notice that Terri is always following Ashley around. Eventually, in the third season, Terri will get a boyfriend and a life outside of being Ashley and Paige’s servant. Unfortunately, Terri’s boyfriend will eventually end up leaving her with serious brain damage before shooting Jimmy in the back….)
Sarah (Shauna Macdonald) goes back to the caves that she barely escaped from during the first Descent to help the police look for the remains of her friends. Sarah is suspected of killing all of them so I don’t think the police would have gone into a narrow cave with her. Sarah was also traumatized by what happened in the cave so I don’t think she would voluntarily go back down there either. As soon as they enter the cave, they get attacked by the crawlers. What did they think would happen?
I loved the first Descentbecause it was a horror film that featured interesting and multi-layered women who weren’t just put on screen to be whimpering victims. When I watched The Descent, I was just as invested in the personal drama as I was the horror in the caves. I also liked that the first Descent left it open to interpretation about what actually happened in the cave. The sequel didn’t really do that and it also didn’t add anything to the story. Juno (Natalie Mendoza) returns but I’m not sure how considering what happened during the first movie.
The Descent Part 2 also shows a lot more of the crawlers than the first film did. They’re much more visible and much more busy but they aren’t as scary once you can actually see them. Plus revealing the crawlers as much as this movie does also ruins the ambiguity that I loved about the first Descent.
I don’t know why some people think that dolls are creepy. These dolls, which were originally from my mother’s collection, have been sitting on the dining room curio cabinet for years and I’ve never seen them move once.
Except for the one with the blonde curls and the black dress.
Congratulations to the Seattle Mariners! Tonight, they defeated the Blue Jays and won Game One of the American League Championship Series!
I know that I never thought I’d be cheering for Seattle but I’ll support any team that keeps the Blue Jays out of the World Series! Keep it up, Seattle! Your three games away from the pennant!
The final score was Mariners 3, Blue Jays 1.
As for the National League Championship, it’s the Brewers vs the Dodgers and I don’t care who wins as long as they can beat Seattle in the World Series!
Through the Shattered Lens 