Val’s Mini-Post: A Jump In The Kiddie Pool With 365 Days (2020, dir. Barbara Bialowas & Tomasz Mandes)


Considering I am not on TikTok I of course heard about that challenge to watch the first scene of Gaspar Noé’s self-important, wish-fulfillment film called Love (2015). Fortunately, I had already subjected myself to that movie back in 2015. Unfortunately, that challenge apparently started with some Polish movie I had never heard of before called 365 Days. At the time of writing this post, this is the plot summary on IMDb for it:

Massimo is a member of the Sicilian Mafia family and Laura is a sales director. She does not expect that on a trip to Sicily trying to save her relationship, Massimo will kidnap her and give her 365 days to fall in love with him.

As no one will remember, when Fifty Shades Of Grey (2015) came out I tweeted that it sounded like it was a film for kids to watch during a sleepover so they can think they saw something. It turned out to be accurate. The plot summary above for 365 Days made me think the same thing, so of course I watched it. Don’t judge me. The previous three movies I watched were DDR With Joey King (The Kissing Booth 2), Basically Lego Power Rangers (The Lego Ninjago Movie), and Late Night Cable With 90’s 3D Graphics (Virtual Girl). I already know I have bad taste. So what did I think of it?

It’s not worth your time unless you are a kid who is looking for a movie that will make you think you saw something salacious. Go figure that it’s the same thing I said about Fifty Shades Of Grey. It’s almost like I mentioned that for a reason.

To add a little depth, it’s a pale imitation of something I could see Italian director Lina Wertmüller doing back in the 70s or 80s but with some modern, stylish set design and cinematography added on to it. Specifically, I’m thinking of Wertmüller’s Swept Away (1974)

Swept Away (1974)

and Summer Night With Greek Profile, Almond Eyes And Scent Of Basil (1986).

Summer Night With Greek Profile, Almond Eyes And Scent Of Basil (1986)

And that’s me being very, very kind.

Here’s a couple screenshots that people have included on IMDb for obvious reasons. They get across what it’s like to watch this movie.

We meet again Joey King.

Summer ’03 (2018, dir. Becca Gleason)

It’s an image that is so taboo that it is quickly undercut by the poster for a coming-of-age movie with Joey King. It’s one of the many teases without any substance behind it that you’ll find in this film.

Yes, I’m aware it’s also similar to the poster for Lolita 2000 (1998). You don’t need to remind me.

You might think that he is going to tame her like that lion back there. But like almost all of the sex stuff in this movie, it’s over very quickly and/or goes nowhere like the scene pictured above. Another woman shows up on the other side of the room, she appears to be kissing his knee over and over instead of centering herself, he approaches the kidnapped lady, and then decides against doing anything.

The only scene I remember being complete was a blow job he gets on an airplane from someone else to establish that he takes what he wants. That’s why aside from kidnapping her, he doesn’t really take what he wants in this movie. He nudges her in various ways to try and convince her to give it to him. Character development? I think it was their way of pretending as if she had at least as much choice as Beauty/Belle in Beauty And The Beast, which greatly varies depending on the film version you watch.

This is one of those erotica movies that if you haven’t seen something like it, or something more interesting, then it will still wash on by you without leaving much of an impression. It looks stylish. It’s well-shot. It tries to have some sort of forbidden plot-line to entice you into watching it and others into getting worked up about it. That’s about it!

I wish I had more to say, but I don’t think I should be recommending anything more along these lines–you can find those yourself. It’s also so forgettable that I’m losing memories of it as I type. I don’t think I can even say that it’s worth taking the time to riff. Skip it.

Double Your Reading Pleasure With “Detective! Double Digest”


Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)'s avatarRyan C.'s Four Color Apocalypse

The old saying goes that “you’re either on something, or you’re onto something” — and it seems as if Minneapolis cartoonist Peter Faecke might just be onto something with these “flip-book” split releases that he’s been doing, so after sharing the workload and cover space with A. T. Pratt for last year’s Wacky Western Double Digest, he’s back with a new dual release with one of my absolute favorite emerging cartoonists, Drew Lerman, this one focused on a detective story theme and bearing the admittedly unimaginative, but nevertheless apropos, title of Detective! Double Digest. So, yeah, it’s exactly what you think it is.

Especially if you think it’s going to be good, because this top-notch mini in certainly that. The two-color riso printing scheme employed by publishing imprint Really Easy Press is spot-on, the black/gray and pink gradations bringing the whimsical tone of both the stories and…

View original post 676 more words

Two From Sean Christensen : “Dress Rehearsal”


Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)'s avatarRyan C.'s Four Color Apocalypse

One of the more straightforward of Portland-based cartoonist Sean Christensen’s self-published minis — to say nothing of it also being perhaps the longest, clocking it at a whopping 60 pages — 2017’s Dress Rehearsal is both a figure study and a motion study, but is nevertheless an interpretative and fairly abstract formalist work on its own merits. Which sounds like me leading off on a contradictory foot, and so it probably is, but that doesn’t mean it’s not an accurate and truthful summation of the work.

The bulk of the book, as you may have surmised by the cover, is an extended depiction of two people performing a nude dance — for, as it turns out, an appreciative audience — but there’s something more at play here than what can be seen on the surface. As the figures ebb and flow — working with, against, and sometimes in contradistinction to…

View original post 529 more words

Two From Sean Christensen : “Questions Of Molten Motion”


Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)'s avatarRyan C.'s Four Color Apocalypse

Consistently one of the more interesting artists working in the small press and self-publishing milieu, Portland’s Sean Christensen never fails to surprise and enthrall with his cartooning, and the latest of his works that I’ve managed to get my hands on (although I believe he actually self-published it last year), Questions Of Molten Motion, may be his most abstract and challenging ‘zine to date — an entirely wordless mini full of single-panel illustrations that convey fluidity in its various aspects, yet attempt to capture it by means of static and intransigent imagery, with most of his individual pen-and-ink drawings “hemmed in” by straight-rule lines at the top and bottom, but open at the sides.

Now, don’t ask me what the fuck some of these images actually depict in a concrete sense, although both bodies and loosely-rendered “objects” (after a fashion, at any rate) are reasonably inferred at the ocular…

View original post 549 more words

A Pretty Strong “Wimp Digest”


Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)'s avatarRyan C.'s Four Color Apocalypse

To address the elephant in the room right at the outset, yes — Josh Pettinger and Evan Salazar’s new eight-page mini, Wimp Digest, is a “gimmick” comic, the stunt in question being that Salazar is writing and drawing a mildly embarrassing anecdote about Pettinger’s childhood, and Pettinger is writing and drawing a mildly embarrassing anecdote about Salazar’s childhood. Got that?

I’m sure you do, as the idea of one cartoonist telling the other a story for them to commit to paper, and the other doing the same, isn’t a terribly difficult conceit to grasp — nor is this comic itself a difficult one to kick back and spend about 15 minutes with. It’s a fun, kinda heartwarming, and certainly well-illustrated little number by two of the more promising new (-ish, at any rate) talents in the “indie”/self-publishing scene (although, as I’m sure you won’t be surprised to discover, the…

View original post 489 more words

On The Road To Ruin And Revelation : Mara Ramirez’s “MOAB”


Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)'s avatarRyan C.'s Four Color Apocalypse

There’s truth in packaging, and then there’s this : Oakland-based cartoonist Mara Ramirez’s recently-released debut graphic novel, MOAB — which comes our way courtesy of Freak Comics — is formatted to look like a sketchbook/diary with a lush moleskine cover because, well, it is a sketchbook/diary with a lush moleskine cover, it’s just that it happens to tell one complete story. And one complete true story, at that.

I think, at any rate. Granted, there’s no indication that the narrative herein is strictly autobiographical — or even loosely autobiographical — but even if it isn’t, that doesn’t mean the story, and the emotive and expressive qualities that positively ooze from its metaphorical pores, is any less real. In fact, it only takes a few pages to clue readers in to the fact that this, right here, is as absolutely real as it gets.

And no sooner do I say…

View original post 713 more words

The “Broken Pieces” Of David Tea’s Consciousness Coalesce in “Five Perennial Virtues” #11


Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)'s avatarRyan C.'s Four Color Apocalypse

After spending the last couple of years mainly re-visiting old material (as opposed to merely re-printing it, given that he’s made changes ranging from the significant to the less so to pretty much all his earlier comics in their new iterations), it’s nice to see that Minneapolis cartoonist David Tea is back to producing original stuff with Five Perennial Virtues #11, the latest issue of his intermittent self-published series that’s been going for, what? Nearly two decades now?

My, how time flies — even if, in Dave’s ‘zines, it seems to either crawl or loop back in on itself. Or both. In any case, the “Broken Pieces” subtitle for this issue is entirely apropos, and while tonally and structurally it’s of a piece (or, if you prefer, of a broken piece) with previous installments, it’s also quite different and fairly unique unto itself. Spoiler alert, then : I think you’re…

View original post 756 more words

More Of The Same, But Totally Different : George Horner’s “Incoherents 2/UBU”


Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)'s avatarRyan C.'s Four Color Apocalypse

Originally self-published at the tail end of 2018 but only making it into this critic’s hands now, Brooklyn-based artist George Horner’s Incoherents 2 is as curious an item as its predecessor, and while it plays by the same rules, the end results are a unique experience unto themselves.  But hey — that’s only half the story.

Okay, yeah, there is no “story” here per se, but this is a dual project, with each section of it approached in a singular manner, then presented in the form of an offset-printed comic book on cheap newsprint in a “flipbook” format. Horner’s preferred full title is, then, Incoherents 2/UBU, and as you’ve already no doubt surmised, the UBU portion functions as the de facto “B-side” of the publication. With those particulars out of the way, then —

We present to you even more particulars! Horner’s general modus operandi is that he…

View original post 572 more words

Howling At The Moon With Brandon Lehmann’s “The Werewolf Expert”


Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)'s avatarRyan C.'s Four Color Apocalypse

I trust I’m not going out on a limb when I assert that we’re living in absurd times — the evidence is, quite literally, both constant and everywhere. What’s easy to forget in the midst of it all, though, is that absurdity needn’t necessarily have tragic consequences, as is the case all too often now — in fact, absurdity can be downright funny. And while this has probably never seemed further from the truth, the good news is that you don’t need to take my word for it. You can ask Seattle-based cartoonist Brandon Lehmann instead.

Come to think of it, you probably should, because unlike me, he can write and draw a comic that proves it — hell, he already has many times over, and his latest mini, The Werewolf Expert (released under the auspices of his own Bad Publisher Books imprint), is perhaps the most succinct…

View original post 543 more words