Lisa’s Top 6 Super Bowl Commercials


So, as far as this year’s Super Bowl was concerned, the commercials were disappointing.  I mean, sure, we got a few movie trailers that looked really good.  I’m super excited for Black Widow and Mulan, not to mention Hunters and WandaVision. 

But, otherwise, it was a pretty forgettable year for commercials.  I mean, I guess we should be glad that, for the most part, we didn’t have any gigantic corporations trying to sell themselves as being woke crusaders.  (We did get that one beer commercial that had to include clips of people at a protest mark because that’s definitely something you want to do while your drunk off your ass.  Why are beer commercials always so pompous?)  With the exception of one well-meaning but rather creepy spot for Google, there also weren’t any disturbingly morbid commercials like that one from a few years back where the TV crushed the child.  There was also a definite lack of grotesque commercials.  There was no Puppy Monkey Baby or whatever the Hell that thing was.

Instead, the majority of the commercials were kind of tasteful and a little bit dull.  There was one commercial where Martin Scorsese invited Jonah Hill to a party and that would have been fun if Jonah Hill hadn’t looked so depressed.  I was like worried about him the entire time I was watching the commercial.  And then there was another one where Ellen DeGeneres wondered what people did before Alexa and that would have been a funny commercial if not for the fact that it felt like it went on for like an hour.  There was a Facebook commercial where Sylvester Stallone beat up Chris Rock for some reason.  And, of course, there was a Mike Bloomberg commercial because there’s always a Mike Bloomberg commercial.

Anyway, usually I do a top ten list after every Super Bowl but this year, I’m just doing my top six because that’s the type of year it was.  As I said previously, my favorite commercials were for Black Widow and Disney+ but, since I already shared those on this site, I will not be listing them below.

In other words, here’s the best of the rest:

6. Cheetos

I liked this commercial because it was basically the opposite of all of those incredibly pompous beer commercials where they act like their product is going to save the world.  Instead, Cheetos proudly announced, “Buy our product and you’ll never have to help anyone again!  And really, let’s be honest.  The world is not full of people who want to help you move.  The world is full of people looking for an excuse to say, “Sorry, can’t do it.”  This commercial is for them.

5. Mr. Peanut

Seriously, Baby Nut is freaking adorable.

4. Mountain Dew

Bryan Cranston as Jack Torrance?  Hey, it works.  To be honest, even if not for Cranston’s cheerfully demented performance, this video would have worked just for the final shot of the elevator.

3. Hard Rock Hotel

A lot of people on twitter didn’t care much for this commercial because …. well, I’m not sure what their problem was.  I thought it was fun.

2. Tide

I enjoyed all of Tide’s Super Bowl commercials, mostly just because Charlie Day is adorable.  I was a little bit annoyed when they tricked me into thinking that I was about see a new commercial for Wonder Woman 1984 but, even in that case, I have to give them credit for taking me by surprise.  Tide should definitely use Charlie Day in all of their commercials and get rid of that boring couple talking about “the funk.”

  1. Jeep

From the minute I heard about this commercial, I knew it would probably end up being my favorite of the night and it turns out that it was.  Usually, I hate Jeep commercials because they tend to be almost as pompous as beer commercials but how can you resist Bill Murray and Phil?

Happy Super Bowl Sunday, everyone!  I hope your team won.  And if they didn’t, I hope they win next year.  And if they don’t …. well, maybe look for a new team.  I don’t know.  Football’s not really my thing.  I do like the commercials, though.

Congratulations To The Super Bowl 54 Champions, the Kansas City Chiefs!


Congratulations to the Kansas City Chiefs on their amazing come from behind victory in the Super Bowl tonight!  I thought that the 49ers had it all wrapped up until the final six minutes of the game when the Chiefs came alive and scored two touchdowns, giving them a 31-20 victory and their first Super Bowl title in 50 years!  It was a great game.

And now that the football season is over with, bring on baseball!

The Universe Is Expanding: Here’s The Super Bowl Disney+ MCU Trailer!


The universe is expanding!

Out of the three shows that are featured in the teaser below, it’s the one with Wanda and Vision that most interests me.  I can’t wait to see what happens with those two characters.  And, of course, there’s no way I couldn’t smile a little when Loki popped up.  His death in Infinity War depressed me almost as much as Black Widow’s death in Endgame.

Here’s The Super Bowl Spot For Hunters!


Hunters is a show that I’m very much looking forward to.  Al Pacino hunting down Nazi war criminals?  Seriously, how can you not want to see that?  Here’s the Super Bowl spot for Hunters, which is definitely intriguing.  I like the contrast between the placid surface of suburbia and the truth lurking right underneath the surface.

The first episode of Hunters will drop on February 21st!

6 Good Things That Lisa Marie Saw On Television in 2019


It’s going to be a short list this year but that’s okay.

  1. Chernobyl — This miniseries about the Chernobyl disaster was both engrossing and horrifying.
  2. Unbelievable — This Netflix miniseries was important viewing.  Kaitlyn Dever gives one of the bravest and most honest performances of the year.
  3. The Finale of Veep — The best comedy on television went out on a high note.  Selina got what she wanted and she lost everything as a result.  Veep took a look at our leaders and showed us that, for the most part, they’re just as venal and screwed up as the rest of us.
  4. Barry — Without a doubt, one of the best shows to come along in a while.  The adventure of Barry, hitman-turned-actor, continue to fascinate.  Great work from Bill Hader, Henry Winkler, Stephen Root, Sarah Goldberg, and Anthony Carrigan.
  5. Tulsi Gabbard destroys Kamala Harris’s Presidential Campaign During The Democratic Primary Debate — There was just something very gratifying about watching a self-described “top tier candidate” get taken down by someone who the media previously attempted to dismiss.
  6. Colin and Christie finally won The Amazing Race — Yay!

The Perfection, Review By Case Wright


perfection

Let me begin by writing that I love watching Netflix and I REALLY love livetweeting with Lisa and the rest of the Shattered Lens staff. We can coordinate times well and it’s easy to sync up.  This time, I was given the movie choosing authority and perhaps it will be my last.  I heard that The Perfection was a bit gory, but I figured come on, this is Shattered Lens- we Rocktober the October over here with our Horrorthon!  When I saw that Steven Weber was in it, I felt like ok, this is going to be like a Tales From the Crypt experience.  Well……….not so much.

The Perfection has trashy components to it and some cheaply built sets and the director REALLY wants you to know that they splurged and actually filmed in China! The best way to describe The Perfection is as an unaware, pretentious, and boring episode of Tales From the Crypt.  It had the victim goes to victimizer TFTC theme and the over the top gore, but it was always trying to be serious and important when it was just an overly long TFTC episode without any humor.

The plot is pretty straight-forward: Charlotte is a prodigy Cellist who left her art to care for her dying mother for ten-years.  When she tries to return to her life, she finds that a younger classmate Lizzy has attained the Cello fame that she sought.  She sees her old Mentor Anton (Steven Weber) and Charlotte is now the clear has-been.  Charlotte executes a plan to destroy Lizzy forever.  Charlotte meets Lizzy, seduces Lizzy, drugs Lizzy, and convinces Lizzy to chop her hand off.  Yep, another Hollywood girl meets girl, girl drugs girl, girl gets girl to chop her hand off story.  The Perfection was actually the original script for Love Actually.  The “To Me You Are Perfect” scene was just going to be Andrew Lincoln throwing severed hands at people – “To Me you are a perfect…Target” *throws hand at Juliet*.

Just when you think this movie will be a fun version of Black Swan it takes a turn for the dumb, gross.  Yes, I get that this was made by a post-Weinstein Miramax and it was showing how fame could encourage and condone horrible behavior, but it was done with so much exposition that it really caused the film to jerk from long explanations to gore and long explanations to gore and long explanations to trying a Subway Cold Cut Combo – even terrible movies get hungry.

I’m not sure if I should spoil this piece of trash or not.  It’s really not worth your time. Instead of watching this film you could eat a sandwich, do your taxes, plot revenge. However, it is nice to see that Steven Weber is still working – there’s that.

 

About Last Night: A Few Thoughts on the Golden Globes


Watching the Golden Globes is always an odd experience.

First off, there’s the mix of TV awards with movie awards.  For someone like me, who spends most of January thinking about the Oscars, it’s always somewhat annoying to have to sit through all of the television awards before even getting to the first film award.  The Emmys are over so it’s not like winning a Golden Globe is going to give Chernobyl or Fleabag the boost necessary to win a real award.

(Especially since those two shows already deservedly cleaned up at the Emmys….)

When it comes to the Globes, we care about the movies.  I was happy with the majority of the film awards.  I was especially happy to see the underrated Missing Link pick up the award for Best Animated Film.  I was glad that Once Upon A Time In Hollywood was named Best Comedy, even though I think it’s debatable whether or not the film was actually a comedy.  I’m sorry Eddie Murphy didn’t win for Dolemite Is My Name but, at the same time, Taron Egerton gave an outstanding performance in Rocketman.  I haven’t seen 1917 yet so I’m not going to comment on whether it should have won Best Drama or whether Sam Mendes deserved to defeat Scorsese and Tarantino.  That said, upset victories are always fun.

Of course, this morning, most of the Golden Globe coverage is not centered on 1917 defeating both The Irishman and Marriage Story for Best Drama.  Instead, almost everyone is talking about Ricky Gervais.  It says something about the vapidness of pop cultural criticism in the age of social media that Gervais was apparently “too mean” for some people.

When it comes to a show like the Golden Globes, the host sets the tone.  For instance, when Tina Fey and Amy Poehler hosted, they set a tone that basically said: “Look at us and all of our famous friends!”  It’s a friendly tone where everyone tells everyone else how great they are.  When Ricky Gervais hosts, the tone of the evening is usually a lot more awkward because no one is quite sure what Gervais is going to say and, being the Brit who created The Office, it’s not like Gervais is going to suffer if no one in Hollywood ever returns another one of his calls.  Both approaches have their strengths and their weaknesses.  There have been some years when I’ve been in the mood for the Fey/Poehler approach.  This year, with its promise of 11 months of wealthy celebrities trying to tell everyone else how to vote and probably getting angry because people in Iowa don’t care about funding Amtrak, I was in the mood for someone willing to shake things up and say, “Get over yourselves.”  In other words, I was in the mood for RIcky Gervais.

During Gervais’s opening monologue, he touched on several topics that everyone should have known he was going to touch on.  He said that Epstein didn’t kill himself and then accused everyone in the room of being his friend.  He told the assembled that Ronan Farrow was coming for all of them.  He told everyone that no one wanted to hear their political opinions because they had no idea what it was like to live in the real world and that they had less schooling than Greta Thunberg.

And whether you think any of that is funny or not is up to you.  Humor is subjective.  Personally, I think that the most important thing that a comedian can do is ridicule people who think that they’re above ridicule.  I also think that any belief or ideology that’s worth anything will be able to survive being the subject of a joke.  Many of my followers on twitter were not amused that Ricky Gervais made a joke about Greta Thunberg but so what?  If what she’s doing is truly worthwhile, it’ll be able to survive someone making a joke about her skipping school.

Besides, Gervais made a few good points.  Jeffrey Epstein didn’t kill himself and a lot of famous people did hang out with him, even after he was first arrested.  The majority of Hollywood did work with Harvey Weinstein, even though apparently his behavior wasn’t exactly a secet.  There are many self-proclaimed “woke” celebrities who do work for terrible companies.  (And let’s not even get into the people who refuse to criticize China.)  And when it comes to politics, Patricia Arquette proved Gervais’s point to be correct during her acceptance speech.

(The audience, I noticed, was surprisingly lukewarm to Arquette’s anti-war speech.  There was some applause but still, one got the feeling that the room’s reaction was largely, “Oh God, Patricia’s talking politics again.”  Personally, I was more impressed with Joaquin Phoenix’s speech, if just because it may have been inarticulate but it was also sincere.  Of course, as soon as he said that celebs didn’t need private jets, the music started.)

Good points or not, you could tell that the audience was often not sure how to react to Gervais’s comments.  Tom Hanks looked shocked, though I think that has more to do with Hanks being the most impossibly wholesome film star working today than with what Gervais saying.  (Seriously, if anything bad ever comes out about Tom Hanks, my entire belief system will crash.)  Others, though, had that “OMG — WHAT’S HAPPENING!?” look on their face.  It reminded me a bit of the 2013 Country Music Awards, when Carrie Underwood made a joke about the Obamacare website crashing and the audience clearly didn’t know whether or not it was safe to laugh.

(Of course, the same people who loved it when the CMAs made fun of Obamacare weren’t amused when future ceremonies featured jokes about Trump.  So often, people’s attitude towards humor seems to be, “I love it when you make jokes about the other side but if you make a joke about me, you’re the worst person who ever lived.”  Eventually, Gervais will tweet out an anti-Trump joke and the people who love him now will suddenly hate him and the people who currently hate him will go back to retweeting him.  What a vapid time to be alive.)

Anyway, last night’s Golden Globes ceremony was a typical awards show ceremony and no one will remember a thing about it in a week.  The Globes are pretty much there to tide us over until the Oscar nominations are announced.  They did their job and life goes on.

Here Are Your 2019 Golden Globe Winners!


Best Actor, TV Musical or Comedy — Ramy Youssef in Ramy

Best Actor, Limited Series or TV Movie — Russell Crowe in The Loudest Voice

Best Supporting Actor, Series, Limited Series, or TV Movie — Stellan Skarsgard, Chernobyl

Best TV Series, Drama — Succession

Best Actress, TV Musical or Comedy — Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Fleabag

Best Foreign Language Film — Parasite

Best Actor, TV Series Drama — Brian Cox, Succession

Best Screenplay, Motion Picture — Quentin Tarantino, Once Upon A Time In Hollywood

Best Motion Picture, Animated — Missing Link

Best Supporting Actress, Film — Laura Dern in Marriage Story

Best TV Series, Musical or Comedy — Fleabag

Best Original Song, Motion Picture — “I’m Gonna Love Me Again” from Rocketman

Best Supporting Actress, Series, Limited Series. or TV Movie — Patricia Arquette in The Act

Best Actress, TV Series, Drama — Olivia Colman in The Crown

Best Director, Motion Picture — Sam Mendes, 1917

Best Actress, Limited Series or TV Movie — Michelle WIlliams in Fosse/Verdon

Best Limited Series or TV Movie — Chernobyl

Best Original Score, Motion Picture — Joker

Best Supporting Actor, Motion Picture — Brad Pitt, Once Upon A Time In Hollywood

Best Actor, Comedy Motion Picture — Taron Egerton, Rocketman

Best Actress, Comedy, Motion Picture — Awkwafina, The Farewell

Best Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical — Once Upon A Time In Hollywood

Best Actor, Drama, Motion Picture — Joaquin Phoenix in Joker

Best Actress, Drama, Motion Picture — Renee Zellweger in Judy

Best Motion Picture, Drama — 1917

 

In Memoriam: René Auberjonois (1940-2019)


René Auberjonois passed away today at the age of 79, If you picked a decade between the 70’s and today, people would remember him for different things. In the 70’s, Auberjonois played the weasely Clayton Endicott III on Benson, starring Robert Guillaume, and his character was often the butt of many jokes. He also played a role in the 70’s remake of King Kong, along with The Eyes of Laura Mars, directed by John Guillermin. In the late eighties, he voiced the Chef in Disney’s The Little Mermaid, who tried to cook poor Sebastian.

The 90’s and 2000’s may be where Auberjonois had the most impact. There are a number of memorials pouring in from Star Trek fans. Many Star Trek fans knew him as Odo, the shape shifting Security Officer on board Deep Space Nine. Odo was one of the coolest characters in Star Trek lore, in my opinion, even better than the Borg. Odo’s serious nature and gruff style was a departure from the roles I was used to seeing him in.  Auberjonois never failed to keep a little humor going thoughout.

In 2004, Auberjonois joined David Kelley’s Boston Legal with fellow Star Trek star, William Shatner. As Paul Lewiston, his character acted as the straight man among the madness at Crane, Poole and Schmidt. He had some great appearances on the show for 5 seasons, in particular an arc that had him dealing with a drug addicted daughter.

He’ll be missed.

Titans, S2 Ep 2&3, “Rose” “Ghosts” Review by Case Wright


titans-1

Halloween is over and now it’s time for all good persons to rally together and watch Titans! This season is following a tried and true method of bringing the gang back together, but they are emotionally apart and will hopefully return together.  This season’s Big Bad is Deathstroke (Esai Morales) and it’s AWESOME!

“Rose” is about well Rose who is in peril.  She’s missing an eye and is getting chased by the police.  Dick intervenes and takes her in for some reason, but it turns out Rose is Deathstroke’s daughter…Dun Dun Dun!!!! She also has a lot of snark, which the show needs more of.  It also has Jason Todd as a budding superhero looking for acceptance by Dick Grayson as he tries to fit into the Titans.  I’m glad that Curran Walters is a series regular, BUT I feel like his talent and his character is being wasted; he should be on his own show and have him evolve into the anti-hero- Red Hood.

Where’s the rest of our heroes? Hank and Dawn are out in Wyoming trying to go straight by running a horse riding camp for addicts.  Apparently, their need to fight crime was feeding Hank’s addiction.  But, is Dawn hanging up the cape and spandex???? NOPE! She’s out beating meth cookers within an inch of their lives! Yes, she’s returned to badassery.  Their utopia crashes down when their car explodes.  Why did the car go boom?  Deathstroke sprung Doctor Light from prison. He can manipulate energy and blow things up.

This episode dovetails perfectly into Ghosts- Episode 3.  The old Titans- Donna, Hank, and Dawn are back at the HQ and learn that Doctor Light is on the loose, Deathstroke is after them, Dick is harboring Deathstroke’s daughter, and the sushi he fed them came from a gas station.  Basically, everything is terrible and Dick is so busy trying to be a Dad that he forgot that he had to also be an angry badass.  Who is Doctor Light?  He’s a Mad Max looking supervillain who according to the comics is a serial sex offender and murderer.

The old gang tries to find Doctor Light and excludes any of the New Titans from the fight. Why? Because Dick’s trying to protect them and do things differently from Batman, but he didn’t bother to tell the New Titans that the last time they tangled with Deathstroke, it was a disaster. They hint at the disaster that they keep teasing at, forcing us to guess how terrible it was.

There is a secondary story of Starfire being pulled back home to be a Queen.  Honestly, I hate this subplot.  She brings so much to the show and this subplot feels like a sidelining to me.

While Dick is trying to be a TV Dad, Jason is determined to prove himself.  He and Beast Boy go after Doctor Light and they find him, but IT’S A TRAP!!!! Jason gives a good fight, but is captured by Deathstroke!!!! OH NO!

These episodes fit together well and act as a great vehicle to ramp up the tension and suspense.  The cast is really bringing it again this season and Esai Morales was born to play this role.  He encapsulates the quiet rage and evil brilliantly!