On tonight episode of The Hitchhiker, Nick Mancusco gives a strong performance as an ex-Marine who struggles to distinguish reality from his paranoid fantasy. The Hitchhiker himself has a little bit more sympathy for the main character in this episode than he’s had for characters in previous episodes.
This episode originally aired on September 21st, 1990 and was the first episode of the show’s sixth season.
Congratulations to the Diamondbacks for tying up the NLCS by defeating the Phillies and forcing a Game 7! Both the ALCS and the NLCS have been really exciting this season. I can’t wait for the World Series!
Speaking of Game 7… GO RANGERS! Later Tonight, we shall know which team will be representing the American League in the World Series and, after one more game, we’ll know who they’ll be facing from the National League.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
This week, Vice gets a new leader!
Episode 1.7 “One Eyed Jack”
(Dir by Lee H. Katzin, originally aired on November 2nd, 1984)
Oh, that Sonny Crockett. He’s got problems!
For one thing, animal control is still showing up at the harbor and trying to repossess his pet alligator, Elvis. Sonny manages to talk them out of it by explaining that Elvis is actually employed by the Miami Police Department. Sonny even flashes his badge as proof, which I found strange since I thought the whole idea of Sonny living on the boat was so that he could convince everyone that he was actually a big time drug dealer. For someone who is supposed to be deep undercover, Sonny never seems to make much of an effort to hide the fact that he’s a cop.
Crockett and Tubbs have been assigned to stakeout a bookie in the hope that it’ll lead to the arrest of his boss, a supposedly “untouchable” gangster named Al Lombard (Dennis Farina, who was always a totally convincing gangster despite actually being a Chicago cop). Crockett is shocked to see his ex-girlfriend, Barbara (Janet Constable), begging the bookie for more time to pay off her gambling debts. Apparently, Barbara is so far in debt that Lombard’s second-in-command, Vince DeMarco (played by former Andy Warhol superstar, Joe Dallesandro), has stolen the tools that Barbara’s husband needs to make a living.
Seeking to help out his ex, Crockett approaches Vince and requests that he return the tools. Vince explains that the tools have already been destroyed and then offers Crockett an envelope full of cash as payment for them. Crockett takes the envelope and is promptly arrested by Internal Affairs Detective Schroeder (Dan Hedaya, as wonderfully sleazy as ever). It turns out that Vince agreed to expose a dirty cop in return for being granted immunity on some racketeering charges.
Everyone knows that Crockett has been framed. In the past, Lou Rodriguez would have stood by Crockett but Rodriguez died two episodes ago and the new head of vice is Lt. Martin Castillo (Edward James Olmos). Accurately described as being “Charles Bronson by way of Havana,” by Tubbs, Castillo is an enigmatic figure, one who rarely speaks or shows the slightest hint of emotion. He has a withering stare that can be terrifying in its intensity. When Tubbs, feeling that Castillo isn’t being properly supportive of Crockett, demands to know, “Whose side are you on?,” Castillo replies, “Don’t ever come up to my face like this again, Detective,” and the viewer is left with no doubt that Castillo is perhaps the most terrifying man in Miami.
After Barbara turns up dead, Tubbs goes undercover. After meeting with DeMarco, Tubbs works his way up to Lombard. Tubbs claims to be a gangster from Philadelphia who is looking to get in on the action in Miami. (“If Miami doesn’t have it,” DeMarco assures him, “nobody’s thought of it yet.”) Lombard takes a liking to Tubbs and hires him to deal with his Black and Spanish “clientale.” Soon, Tubbs and DeMarco are hitting the cockfights and going to the club with Lombard. Tubbs also frames DeMarco for the theft of $2,000. Realizing that Lombard is probably going to try to kill him, DeMarco not only signs a paper exonerating Crockett but he also wears a wire the next time that he and Tubbs visit Lombard’s yacht.
Good news, right? Well, it would be …. except that Barbara’s husband Jerry (Jimmie Ray Weeks) sneaks onto the yacht and shoots DeMarco dead before Lombard says anything incriminating. Jerry goes to prison and Lombard goes free. Crockett and Tubbs end up on Crockett’s boat, fishing at ten o’clock at night. Crockett says that it’s the only way to stay sane.
What a dark episode! Crockett was exonerated but his otherwise perfect plan fell apart. This episode truly presented Miami as being a decadent playground, one that could make someone rich just as easily as it could destroy them. While Jerry and Barbara lived in a small, run-down house, DeMarco wore expensive suits and Lombard lived on an expensive yacht and neither one gave much thought to the people whose lives were destroyed by their activities. With Crockett sidelined by the IA investigation, Tubbs finally got his chance to shine and Philip Michael Thomas did a good job of capturing the adrenaline rush of becoming a part of Lombard’s world. As opposed to the cynical and weary Crockett, Tubbs seems like he could be seriously tempted to switch sides in the war on crime. In the end, Tubbs outsmarted DeMarco not by being better than him but instead by being even more ruthless. And yet, for all the dark vibes to be found in this episode, the glamour of life in Miami was undeniably appealing. Where else, the episode asked, can you arrest the bad guys while also working on your tan and hanging out on the beach?
Indeed, I find myself feeling a bit jealous of Gina (played by Saundra Santiago). So far, she hasn’t gotten to do much on the show beyond being Sonny’s sometime girlfriend. But she still gets to wear the best clothes and hang out with the coolest people and she gets to do it all while carrying a gun. What more could one ask for?
Next week, Bruce Willis makes his television debut!
The film Party Monster, which I just reviewed, was a very bad version of the somewhat interesting true story of how Michael Alig went from being a New York nightlight celebrity to a convicted murderer. One of the biggest problems with the film was Macauley Culkin’s dull performance as Alig.
As bonus to my review of Party Monster, here’s a 1994 episode of — ugh — Geraldo, featuring Alig, the Club Kids, and the soon-to-be-deceased Angel. Alig and his club kids still come across as if they’re trying way too hard to be outrageous (they’re the ultimate conforming nonconformists) and I will warn you that watching this clip will mean spending 44 minutes with one of the most fatuous media personalities in American history. But still, this episode does feature a look at the story that Party Monster totally screwed up. Just two years after this episode aired, Alig would kill Angel and dismember him in a bathtub.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi Junior High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1987 to 1989! The series can be streamed on YouTube!
This week, on Degrassi Junior High, Caitlin Ryan gets her first spotlight episode!
Episode 1.6 “Rumor Has It”
(Dir by Kit Hood, originally aired on February 22nd, 1987)
This week’s episode of Degrassi Junior High started the long and proud tradition of certain Degrassi episodes not being aired outside of Canada because of their content. In this case, several stations in the US and the the BBC in the UK declined to air this episode because it dealt with Caitlin having dreams about her teacher, Ms. Avery (Michelle Goodeve). Becuase Ms. Avery is rumored to be a lesbian, Caitlin starts to get nervous about what her dreams mean and whether she will also be the subject of rumors and whispers. This episode was not only the first Degrassi episode to not air in some markets but it was also the first one to focus on Caitlin who, as played by Stacie Mistysyn, would go on to become one the key figures in the franchise.
(Interestingly enough, this is also the first episode of Degrassi Junor High to not feature Joey, outside of a few scenes where he’s in the background. It’s perhaps for the best. Middle school Joey does not seem like he would be quite as sensitive about Caitlin’s feelings as adult Joey would have been on Degrassi: The Next Generation.)
For an episode that apparently quite controversial, this episode seems remarkably tame today. Indeed, half of the episode doesn’t even deal with Caitlin and her dreams but instead features Arthur and Yick following around Rick because they’re convinced that Rick stole a hundred dollars from Yick’s locker and then used it to buy a big bag of black licorice. Arthur, who dreams of either becoming a cop or at least heading up a neighborhood watch, even brings an oversized magnifying class so that he can investigate the crime. Arthur and Yick follow Rick everywhere, watching as he forced his big bag of black licorice on everyone he meets. Rick claims that he won a hundred dollars in the lottery. If you won a hundred dollars, would you waste it on a bag of black licorice? Then again, if you stole a hundred dollars from someone’s locker, would you waste it on a bag of black licorice? And seriously, who likes black licorice anyway? I mean, is life in Toronto so boring and unsatisfying that black licorice is actually the only thing that people have to look forward to? For that matter, Rick was introduced as the brooding delinquent who never smiled or talked to anyone. Since when does he care if everyone has black licorice? (This really does sound more like something Joey would have done.) Eventually, Rick gets tired of Arthur and Yick following him around and tells them to leave him alone or risk getting beat up. Immediately afterwards, Yick finds the missing money. It turns out that it was in the locker all the time!
Meanwhile, Caitlin is haunted by a dream in which Ms. Avery, her favorite teacher, calls her to the front of the class and praises her classwork. Suddenly, Caitlin is aware that all of her classmates are whispering about how both she and Ms. Avery must be lesbians. Caitlin wakes up, shaken.
The next day, at school, mean girl Kathleen lists all of the evidence that has convinced her that Ms. Avery is a lesbian. (It’s not a surprise that Kathleen is the one spreading the rumor.) Ms. Avery is unmarried. Ms. Avery does not have a boyfriend. In fact, the only man that Ms. Avery is ever seen talking to is Mr. Raditch and apparently, no one can imagine the idea of anyone ever dating Mr. Raditch. Ms. Avery is given a ride to school every day by a woman and, one day, Kathleen swears that she saw Ms. Avery and the woman kiss each other on the cheek.
Despite the fact that Kathleen and Caitlin have nothing in common and should, by all logic, hate each other, Caitlin still invites Kathleen to a sleep-over at her place. Kathleen, Susie Rivera, Melanie, and Caitlin spend their time prank calling teachers. When Caitlin calls Ms. Avery, she’s surprised when a woman answers and she quickly hangs up. It is, to be honest, the lamest sleep over ever.
Because Caitlin refuses to join in the rumor-mongering about Ms. Avery, Kathleen tells Susie that she should stop hanging out with her because Caitlin might be a lesbian and soon, everyone will think the same of Susie. When Susie tells Caitlin what people are saying, Caitlin freaks out. The next day, when Ms. Avery attempts to put her hand on Caitlin’s shoulder while praising her latest essay, Caitlin asks Ms. Avery not to touch her. Ms. Avery tells Caitlin to speak to her after class.
After class, Caitlin tells Ms. Avery that people think she might be a lesbian. Ms. Avery asks what evidence they have and then she explains that being single doesn’t make you a lesbian and neither does having a roommate and neither does sharing an innocent peck on the cheek with a friend. Ms. Avery and Caitlin step outside of the school together and …. hey, it’s Mr. Raditch, waiting to give Ms. Avery a ride home!
Sensitive by 1987 standards and tame by today’s standard, this episode cops out a little at the end by saying, “Ms. Avery’s sexuality is no one’s business …. but, by the way, she’s definitely not a lesbian.” Stacie Mistysyn and Michelle Goodeve deserve a lot of credit for their performances in this episode and, in the role of Kathleen, Rebecca Haines was the perfect mean girl. But, at the same time, there was also all of that stupid stuff with Arthur, Yick, and Rick. For all of its notoriety, this is actually a pretty uneven episode.
We are going to Game 7!
Tonight, the Rangers defeated the Asstros, winning by a score of 9-2! With this victory, the Rangers tied up the ALCS. The next game will determine who is going to the World Series and I can’t wait to cheer my team to what I hope will be a Rangers victory!
The best part of tonight’s game? Adolis Garcia, who was deliberately hit by an Asstros pitch during the last game, got his revenge by hitting the grand slam that let Houston know that they weren’t going to stage a comeback in the 9th.
Go Rangers!
Poor Eddie!
Eddie (David McIlwraith) used to be a rock star but now he’s a washed up alcoholic without a cent to his name. Needing to pay his bills, Eddie decides to make the ultimate sacrifice. He decides to go down to a pawnshop and sell his trademark guitar. However, a quirky woman named Elisabeth (Jill Hennessy) has another idea. Maybe …. he could just rob the pawn shop!
Did you know that, as a name, Lisa started out as a shortened version of Elisabeth?
This episode originally aired on December 16th, 1989.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay. Today’s film is 2000’s Cabin By The Lake! It can be viewed on YouTube.
Screenwriter Stanley Caldwell (Judd Nelson) has been hired to write a slasher film and, to the concern of both the film’s director (Bernie Coulson) and Stanley’s agent (Susan Gibney), Stanley is taking his time to write the script. Stanley says that he’s determined to write something more than just a typical “dead teenager” film. His script is about a murderer who kills his victims and then dumps them into a nearby lake. The killer spends his time tending his underwater garden.
What is taking Stanley so long? Stanley is doing research, which means that he’s kidnapping women, holding them prisoner in his cabin, and then dumping their bodies into the lake. Along the way, he’s observing how the victims act and he’s incorporating his research into his script. Though Stanley tells himself that he’s just doing research, it’s obvious that the script is no longer his main concern. Now, Stanley is just enjoying working in his garden.
Stanley’s latest victim is Mallory (Hedy Burress), a young woman who works at the town’s movie theater and who has a long-standing fear of the water. While Stanley is holding Mallory captive and studying both her and her fear of water, Deputy Boone Preston (Michael Weatherly) is searching for Mallory. And, of course, Stanley is running out of time to finish his script.
Cabin In The Lake was produced by and originally aired on the USA Network and, as a result, it has a much darker sense of humor than one might otherwise expect to find in a made-for-tv horror movie from 2000. Most of the humor centers around the pretensions of the film industry, with both Stanley and his film’s director trying to turn their little slasher movie into something more than just another dead teenager film. A good deal of the film centers around a group of special effects and makeup artists, who are recruited to help capture the killer and they’re all likable in their dorky way. The scenes of Stanley’s underwater garden achieve a certain dream-like grandeur and, as someone who has a morbid fear of drowning, I could certainly relate to Mallory’s fear of the water.
That said, this is one of those films where the parts are definitely greater than the whole. I think the film’s biggest problem was that Judd Nelson was a bit bland in the role of Stanley, flatly delivering his lines and barely bothering to show a hint of emotion. If anything, Nelson appears to be a bit bored with the film. Hedy Burress is sympathetic as Mallory and Michael Weatherly is believable as the upstanding deputy but a film like this lives or dies based on its villain and Nelson sleepwalks through the role. As well, for all the humorous moments that do work, it soon becomes obvious that this is a one-joke film and portraying Hollywood as being a place full of shallow people is not creative enough a joke to sustain an entire film. The end result is a film that is ultimately frustratingly uneven.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
This week, Howard has a chance to get the heck out of Canada!
Episode 1.3 “No Cause For Alarm”
(Dir by Gary Plaxton, originally aired on October 16th, 1985)
The workers at Cobb’s Grocery are reluctantly preparing for another theme week at the store. It’s a Switzerland theme week, which I assume will be very popular in Canada. All of the cashiers are dressed like Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music. Assistant manager Jack Christian is wearing lederhosen. Christian is really excited because he’s managed to borrow an expensive cuckoo clock with which to decorate the store.
Store manager Howard Bannister has a bit more on his mind, though. He has an interview coming up with an international hotel chain and, if he aces the interview, he’ll get to manage a hotel in Venice. As Howard puts it, this has been his dream for about 15 years. Unfortunately, it’s going to be difficult for Howard to ace that interview because the store’s alarm system keeps malfunctioning and the police finally tell Howard to just turn off the alarm so that they’re not bothered anymore. However, that expensive and borrowed cuckoo clock is still hanging on the wall so Howard ends up having to sleep at the store. Needless to say, the exhausted Howard falls asleep in the middle of his interview and doesn’t get the job. As Christian resigns himself to still being the store’s assistant manager, Howard accepts that he’s not going anywhere for a while.
This is an odd episode of Check It Out. For one thing, there’s a totally different stockboy (played by Jason Warren) from the kid who appeared in the previous two episodes. He’s a bit older than the usual stockboy, he wears rather thick glasses, and everyone acts as if he’s always been at the store. Meanwhile, the store’s electrician (played by Gordon Clapp) is referred to as being “Mr. Matthews” even though his name was Viker in his previous (and future) appearances.
Perhaps the oddest thing about the episode is that everyone is given very backstory-dependent dialogue. For instance, Edna has a long conversation with cashier Jennifer (Tonya Williams) in which she explains the history of her relationship with Howard. Whenever Christian enters a room, everyone is quick to mention that he’s the assistant manager, as if this is information that has never been mentioned before. The relationships between the characters also feel a bit off. For instance, there hasn’t been any hints of deep friendship between Edna and Jennifer in the previous two episodes.
My guess is that this episode was originally the pilot for Check It Out. Apparently, it worked well enough to sell the show but the show’s producers decided not to use it as the first episode. Instead, it aired as the third episode, despite the fact that the episode was essentially a rough draft of what the show would become.
As for the episode …. eh, it’s okay. Gordon Clapp was funny as the confident but incompetent electrician. Jeff Pustil had a few funny moments as Christian. Don Adams overacted a bit as Howard, as if the show still wasn’t sure how obnoxious or sympathetic the character should be. My main issue with the episode was the idea of Howard going from managing a grocery store in Canada to managing an international hotel in Venice. I mean, can Howard even speak Italian?
Next week, everyone at the store is required to get a physical!
TV!? Who has time for TV in October! I’m going to have so much to catch up on in November, I swear. Here’s some thoughts on what I did watch over the previous week!
ALCS Game One (Sunday Night, FOX)
I watched this baseball game, between the Rangers and the Astros, on Sunday night with my sister, Erin. The Rangers won, which made Erin happy and that made me happy.
ALCS Game Two (Monday Afternoon, Fox)
I watched a bit of this with Erin on Monday. She was happy that the Rangers won so I was happy too.
Big Brother 25 (24/7, CBS and Paramount Plus)
I wrote about Big Brother here!
Check It Out (Tubi)
I watched the 3rd episode of Check It Out earlier today and my review will be dropping in about 90 minutes.
Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)
Dr. Phil (YouTube)
Find someone who loves you as much as Dr. Phil loved saying “Sugar Daddy web sites” in 2017. The episode that I watched on Sunday was from 2017 and Phil said either “Sugar Daddy” or “Sugar Baby” over a hundred times in 40 minutes. It all came across as being a bit silly.
On Monday, I watched an episode in which a woman and her 81 year-old fiancé accused her ex-husband of being abusive. Phil didn’t believe a word that the woman had to say and the woman proceeded to have a meltdown on stage.
On Saturday, I watched the first part of an interview with a young woman who thought she was pregnant with Jesus (as in literally Jesus). Special guest star Dr. Stork from The Doctors visited to tell her that she wasn’t pregnant. She accused him of lying. The audience gasped.
Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)
I wrote about Friday the 13th here!
Gun (Tubi)
Highway to Heaven (Tubi)
I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!
Jennifer Slept Here (YouTube)
I wrote about Jennifer Slept Here …. here!
Jenny Jones (YouTube)
On Tuesday morning, I watched an episode about young teenage girls who dated older teenage boys. The youngest of the girls was like 13 and she was dating a 17 year-old. Jenny got extremely flustered while interviewing the idiots on her stage.
Monsters (Tubi)
Night Flight (Night Flight Plus)
On Saturday morning, I watched a 1988 interview with director Brian De Palma where he came across as being about as confident as could be. That’s probably because the interview was filmed after The Untouchables and before The Bonfire of the Vanities.
Nightmare Café (YouTube)
I wrote about Nightmare Café here!
T and T (Tubi)
I wrote about T and T here!
The Vanishing Shadow (Night Flight Plus)
Our serial continued with chapter two, which I watched on Friday night. Having escaped using the Invisibility Ray at the end of the previous chapter, our hero spent this chapter being chased by villains who were carrying a Death Ray. It was a fun 30 minutes.
Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)
Gabe’s father came to visit and I wrote about it here!
Yes, Prime Minister (Monday Morning, PBS)
This week’s episode as Yes, Prime Minister was very, very British as it resolved around Prime Minister Hacker selecting a new bishop. The entire episode was full of jokes about how the Church of England was less of a church and more of a social club. As someone of an Irish/Italian Catholic background, I had a good laugh.
Through the Shattered Lens