Tonight’s excursion into televised horror is the 7th episode of the 5th season of HBO’s Tales From The Crypt!
House of Horrors has everything that you could possibly want from a Tales From The Crypt episode! A dumbass idiot frat boy (played by Kevin Dillon) forces three pledges to enter a supposedly haunted house. Mayhem ensues. This episode is full of atmosphere, dark humor, plot twists, and unexpected turns and it features two wonderfully over-the-top performances, one from Dillon and one from Meredith Salenger as a Southern-accented sorority president who may have a secret of her own.
This episode originally aired on October 27th, 1993 and is currently celebrating its 30th birthday.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing City Guys, which ran on NBC from 1997 to 2001. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
As season two of City Guys continues, Chris’s parents finally get a divorce and El-Train is tempted to return his old ways!
It’s all a part of rolling with the city guys….
Episode 2.5 “The Divorce”
(Directed by Frank Bonner, originally aired on October 10th, 1998)
After spending the first season constantly fighting, Chris’s parents are finally getting a divorce. Chris has a hard time dealing with the divorce, so much so that it starts to interfere with Chris’s ability to work at the radio station. “Show’s over, people!” Chris snaps at one point, “go play your own music!” You tell them, Chris!
Last week, I wrote about what a good job Wesley Jonathan did in the “Jamal Got His Gun” episode. This week, it’s time to praise Scott Whyte, who does a very good job capturing Chris’s emotional turmoil over his parents splitting up. Both Jonathan and Whyte obviously developed quite a bit as actors before the start of City Guys‘s second season because it’s hard to imagine either one of them giving as good a performance during the first season.
Anyway, this episode was well-done but the main storyline brought back a lot of memories of how I felt when my parents got divorced so let’s talk about the B-storyline, in which Dawn struggled to keep her electronic pet from dying ….. awwwww! That’s so sad. Okay, let’s think about the C-storyline, where Al and El-Train both got jobs. So far, Al has been a good deal less annoying during season 2 than he was during season 1.
Finally, I have to say that I really related to Cassidy in this episode. When she dropped in to see how Chris was doing, she immediately started cleaning his bedroom. I would have done the same because there’s no excuse for not picking up after yourself. While Cassidy is cleaning, Chris makes a joke about all the time that he’s spent watching Judge Judy. Seriously, Judge Judy has been around forever!
Episode 2.6 “Bully, Bully”
(Directed by Frank Bonner, originally aired on October 17th, 1998)
After the newest school bully steals Al’s basketball, El-Train takes care of the situation by punching out the bully. El-Train finds himself tempted to return to his old violent ways and that’s not surprising when you consider how the audience cheered when he threw that punch.
Fortunately, Ms. Noble has more sense than the audience and she tells El-Train not to return to his old ways. She also mentions that El-Train is the class president so at least that season one cliffhanger has finally been resolved. Anyway, it all leads to a slow motion fight scene and El-Train announcing that he was no longer into senseless violence.
It’s all a bit heavy-handed but Steven Daniel’s performance as El-Train remains as strong as ever. And how can you not enjoy an episode with this much slow motion? Slow motion makes everything better!
In this episode of HBO’s horror anthology, Tales From The Crypt, Joe Pesci plays a con artist who tries to swindle twin sisters, just to discover that the sisters have a secret of their own. Pesci is at his best here, poking fun at his own screen persona while playing a character who discovers that he’s not quite as clever as he thought he was.
The episode originally aired on August 26th, 1992.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!
Love exciting and new….
Come aboard! We’re expecting you!
Episode 1.8 “Lost and Found / The Understudy / Married Singles”
(Directed by Stuart Margolin, originally aired on November 19th, 1977)
This week’s cruise is all about secrets and lies.
For instance, Durwood Moss (Steve Allen) and Maisie Nolan (Polly Bergen) are currently separated and their therapist has suggested that they try taking separate vacations. Maisie books a cabin on the cruise so Durwood books the cabin next door. As Durwood explains it, being in separate cabins counts as being on separate vacations. Not letting anyone know that they’re married (albeit unhappily so), Durwood pursues Barbie (Loni Anderson) and Maisie flirts with Jack (Joshua Plymouth). Of course, Durwood and Maisie end up realizing that they’re still in love. Fortunately, Jack and Barbie also fall in love with each other!
Meanwhile, 8 year-old Theodore Denison, Jr. (James Bond III) lies and says that he has his parents’ permission to be on the cruise by himself. Of course, it turns out that he’s actually a runaway. On the cruise, he meets Sharon and Richard Baker (Sandy Duncan and Jim Stafford), a married couple that is struggling to come to terms with the death of their son. Sharon wants to adopt Theodore and Theodore wants to be adopted. But then Theodore’s real parents show up and apologize for the fight that caused Theodore to run away in the first place. Still, Sharon and Richard at least find the courage to try to move on from their tragedy.
Finally, Connie Evans (Jo Ann Harris) is an assistant cruise director who has been assigned to the ship. Julie (Lauren Tewes) is supposed to be training Connie but it soon becomes clear that, in typical All AboutEve fashion, Connie is plotting to steal Julie’s job. Connie’s plan is … well, it’s interesting. She continually screws up the simplest of duties and then claims that she was only doing what Julie trained her to do. When she shows up for dinner in a skimpy outfit, she claims that it’s what Julie told her to wear. I guess the plan is to make Julie look like she’s bad at training people but just because someone isn’t good at training, that doesn’t mean that they’re bad at their overall job. In fact, it would seem that most people would look at Connie’s actions and say, “You should have had enough common sense to know better, even if that’s what Julie told you.” Anyway, it all works out, albeit somewhat bizarrely. The captain reprimands Connie. The crew hates Connie and goes out of its way to humiliate her. And yet, even after it become obvious that Connie has been trying to get her fired, Julie agrees to help Connie because she thinks Connie has the makings of being a great cruise director. Just how painfully nice is Julie?
This was not a bad episode. The stuff with Durwood and Maisie was a bit dull but the other two storylines worked. Sandy Duncan brought a lot of emotional sincerity to her plotline and Jo Ann Harris was hilariously conniving in the role of Connie. This episode was a cruise that I enjoyed.
Will I also enjoy the next cruise? Find out next week!
The old west could be a dangerous and haunted place, as was revealed in this episode of HBO’s Tales From The Crypt! Outlaw Billy Quintaine (Neil Guintoli) enters a saloon and discovers that the spirits of his victims have been waiting for him!
This episode originally aired on August 1st, 1992. Along with being directed by The Omen‘s Richard Donner, it was written by Frank Darabont.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1996. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
“Smiles, everyone, smiles!”
Sorry, Mr. Roarke, there’s not much to smile about when it comes to this episode.
Episode 1.7 “The Funny Girl/Butch and Sundance”
(Dir by Cliff Bole, originally aired on March 18th, 1978)
At the start of this episode, Tattoo is all excited because his birthday is coming up and he remembers that, last year, he partied all night and a bunch of beautiful women celebrated with him. Mr. Roarke promises Tattoo that things will be different this year. This year, Mr. Roarke says, there will be no presents. Tattoo will play a game of chess and drink a glass of sherry and maybe there will be a cello recital. Tattoo, needless to say, is disappointed.
Ignoring Tattoo’s anger, Mr. Roarke introduces him to the latest guests at Fantasy Island and it turns out that their fantasies are almost as disappointing and boring as Mr. Roarke’s plans for Tattoo’s birthday. Kay Penny (Marcia Strassman) is apparently the world’s most successful comedienne even though she never comes across as being particularly funny. Her fantasy is to move to small town where no one knows her. That sounds like a pretty lousy fantasy but whatever.
Bill (Christopher Connelly) and Alex (James MacArthur) are two friends who want to be Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid for a weekend. They’re huge fans of the film, though it appears neither one of them ever stuck around for the end. Mr. Roarke takes Bill and Alex to an old west town (perhaps the same one that we saw a few weeks ago) and Bill and Alex get to live out their fantasy while trading quips and robbing banks. The problem, for those of us who are watching then, is that neither Christopher Connelly nor James MacArthur can compare to Robert Redford and Paul Newman. Eventually, though, the great character actor William Smith shows up as a visitor whose fantasy is to be Wyatt Earp. He attempts to arrest Butch and Sundance. They outsmart him and then Bill and Alex go home, satisfied. Good for them but what about the guy who wanted to be Wyatt Earp? Does he get his money back? Seriously, I don’t think being humiliated was a part of his fantasy.
Meanwhile, Kay finds herself living in a small town. Using the name Katherine Patrino, she gets a job as the receptionist for a veterinarian (played by Dennis Cole) and she also helps the vet’s silent son get over the recent loss of his mother. She also tells a lot of jokes, none of which are particularly funny. The best thing about this fantasy is that Mr. Roarke disguised himslef as a clown and showed up at the small town’s Founders Day Festival.
And then Tattoo did the same thing.
Anyway, during the festival, a dog was hit by a truck but Kay helped to bring it back to life and that brought a tear to my mismatched eyes. Otherwise, this was a very forgettable trip to Fantasy Island.
On a positive note, though, it turned out that Mr. Roarke was just joking and Tattoo got to have a wild party after all. Good for him, he earned it!
The Reluctant Vampire was the 7th episode of the 3rd season of HBO’s Tales From The Crypt! It stars Malcolm McDowell as a vampire who is a little bit too nice for his own good. Seriously, you can’t go wrong with Malcolm McDowell as a vampire.
The Reluctant Vampire originally aired on July 10th, 1991.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Hang Time, which ran on NBC from 1995 to 2000. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!
Welcome to Season 2 of Hang Time! Because NBC wasn’t happy with the first season, the 2nd season served as a bit of a reboot for the season. Half the cast left and the show became a bit more broad in its comedy. That’s a polite way of saying that things got a little bit more cartoonish.
The show also got a brand new theme song!
Episode 2.1 “Winning Isn’t Everything”
(Directed by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on September 7th, 1996)
The first episode of the 2nd season starts in the school hallway. “They’re coming!” one kid yells before leading all of his classmates in a chant of “Tornadoes! Tornadoes!”
Yes, the students at Deering High love their basketball team. But where is everyone? We see Julie, Danny, and Mary Beth walking down the hallway. Where’s Chris? Where’s Earl? Where are Michael Maxell and Sam!? Danny orders the students to chase down the one kid wasn’t cheering and then, as if he can hear our thoughts, he says, “I’m really going to miss Earl, Michael, and Chris.”
It turns out that things have changed! Julie broke up with Chris over the summer and then he went off to college. Earl is also at college. And so is Sam. All those people were seniors last year? Why were they so worried about dating a bunch of underclassmen? Mary Beth mentions that she’s no longer a cheerleader and now she’s equipment manager because her Dad thinks it will teach her responsibility. Amy (Paige Peterson) is the new head cheerleader. Everyone acts as if Amy was around last year even though she wasn’t in any of the episodes.
At practice, we meet the new players. Vince D’Amata (Michael Sullivan) is cocky and determined to be a star. Everyone makes fun of Vince for being short but he’s still taller than Danny so I’m not really sure that joke is as effective as the rest of the team thinks it is. Fuller announces that the team has gotten lazy so it’s a good thing that his godson, Teddy Brodis, has transferred to the school. Fuller used to play with Teddy’s father so Teddy is “probably great.” On cue, Teddy enters the gym and …. OH MY GOD, IT’S ANTHONY ANDERSON! Proving that everyone had to start somewhere, future Departed, Law & Order, and Black-Ish star Anthony Anderson did a two season tour as a part of the Hang Time cast. Anderson was in his mid-20s at the time, making him considerably older than the rest of the cast. Coach Fuller is upset to see that Teddy is not particularly tall and a little heavy-set. Hey, Coach, that’s a future Emmy winner you’re talking to! (And, even though he doesn’t got to do much in his first few episodes, it is obvious from the start that Anderson instinctively knew how to play to the camera.)
“Could we possibly be off to a rockier start?” Fuller says and in comes Mary Beth with a box of new uniforms, all of which are the wrong color. Mary Beth explains that they may be wrong but at least they’re “pretty.”
Anyway, the team is looking weak. Can the team recruit Josh Sanders (Kevin Bell) to play for them!? Josh is athletic but he refuses to play team sports because he doesn’t like the competitive aspect of the game. We know that Josh is good and cute because the audience goes, “Woooooo!” whenever he shows up onscreen. The team tries to recruit him by showing him that they don’t believe that winning is everything. Honestly, though, if Josh isn’t into competing, why would you want him on your team? Team sports are about winning!
Josh agrees to try out for the team but then walks out of a practice because of the team arguing with each other. But then he comes to a game and see Fuller bench Vince because Vince wasn’t playing as a part of the team. Josh immediately joins the Tornadoes. I’m getting the feeling that Josh might have issues with impulse control.
Finally, Mary Beth accidentally washes all of the autographs off of one of Fuller’s basketball. Fuller nearly fires her but then Mary Beth brings in some tall guy to re-sign the ball. Judging by the way the audience went crazy and the fact that the guy was like 7’3, I’m going to guess he was a basketball player.
Episode 2.2 “Just One Of The Guys”
(Directed by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on September 14th, 1996)
Julie doesn’t understand why Josh doesn’t seem to be attracted to her. Mary Beth and Amy tells her that she should try to be more feminine. Later, during practice, Julie gets upset when Vince gives her a high five and says, “Way to go, man!” “I’m a girl,” Julie replies. Josh, her crush, says, “Don’t take it personally, you’re just like one of the guys.”
OH MY GOD! If I was Julie, I would move to a different state at this point.
Anyway, Mary Beth and Amy give Julie a makeover, which basically amounts to Julie wearing high heels, not wearing a bra, and tossing her hair back while talking to Josh.
However, Josh just wants to talk about basketball practice.
Pictures alone cannot communicate how awkward this scene was.
After spending all of last season determined to prove that she can play with the guys, Julie quits the team in order to prove that she’s not one of the guys. Mary Beth is shocked. “When I’m upset,” Mary Beth says, “I don’t get a new life. I get new shoes!” “Shoes aren’t a substitute,” Julie says and the only person more horrified by that statement than Mary Beth is me. Mary Beth suggests that Julie try a new look. “How about Janet Jackson?” Mary Beth says. Uhmmm …. this is going somewhere dangerous….
Fortunately, Fuller is friends with an Olympic gold medalist, who just happens to drop by the office and gives Julie a pep talk. Julie rejoins the team and decides to be confident in herself. Is there nothing that an Olympic gold medalist can’t do?
In the B-plot, Vince, Teddy, and Danny make fun of the cheerleaders so the cheerleaders stop talking to them. So, Vince, Teddy, and Danny dress up as cheerleaders.
Anyway, the important thing about this episode is that Daniella Deutscher had more chemistry with Kevin Bell than she with David Hanson and, as such, the Julie/Josh relationship is a lot more entertaining than the Julie/Chris relationship. Here’s hoping everything works out for them!
This is a special episode of my favorite TV show of all, Degrassi! Originally airing on October 28th, 2008, The Curse of Degrassi features Degrassi’s main mean girl, Holy J Sinclair (Charlotte Arnold), getting possessed by the vengeful spirit of deceased school shooter, Rick Murray (Ephraim Ellis). Chaos follows! Fortunately, Spinner (Shane Kippel) is around to save the day. As any true Degrassi fan can tell you, only Spinner has a chance against the forces of the undead.
What I like about this episode is that, in the best tradition of Degrassi, it goes there. Holly J does get possessed. Just about the entire cast end up dying horribly. Spinner has to battle the undead spirit of Rick Murray and he has to do it without the help of Drake. And, as far as we know, this episode is canon. So, yes, Rick Murray’s ghost actually does haunt Degrassi Community School and yes, only Spinner can save us all.
I watched very little television this week because I’ve been preparing for Halloween! I’ll have to get caught up on what I’ve missed later. Or, I’ll just shrug off the previous two episodes of Bachelor in Paradise. These are the difficult life choices that we all face.
Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)
Janine’s insistence that the kids drink more juice leads to a crisis at Abbott! Meanwhile, Ava continues to be the best character on the show. This was a funny episode, though Gregory is going to have to tell Janine how he feels at some point soon or I’m going to start to lose respect for him. Melissa and her teacher’s aide provided a lot of good laughs. I have a feeling I would be a pretty annoying teacher’s aide, as well.
Earn, Van, and Lottie go camping! After last week’s wild episode, this week was definitely a bit more low-key. This episode was a funny, well-acted, but somewhat melancholy exploration of Earn and Van’s relationship. Earn wants Van to go to Los Angeles with him. Van said that she loves Earn but the episode ended without a decision on moving to L.A.
Bubblegum Crisis (Nightflight Plus)
I watched the second episode of this anime on Saturday morning. There were robots and a lot of explosions and the bad guys were referred to as being “boomers,” which made me smile. I have no idea what’s going on but the visuals are impressive.
The ghosts tried to save a tree and Thor became an environmentalist. It was funnier than it sounds.
Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, FOX)
For the first time this season, it was men vs. women. And shockingly enough, the men pretty much destroyed the women during the service. Usually, it’s the opposite on Hell’s Kitchen. The women usually come together during their first dinner service while the men struggle. It usually takes a while for the women to start fighting with each other. Chef Ramsay was so angry that he demanded three nominees from the women. Ramsay sent home the chef who he felt had lost her passion to win. No, I cannot remember her name and yes, I’m too lazy to look it up.
On Friday night, I watched an episode of this old show, one that featured interviews with music video directors. The video for Duran Duran’s A View To A Kill was discussed. That song, incidentally, is one of my favorite James Bond songs.
Through the Shattered Lens 