Time Well Spent: THREE HOURS TO KILL (Columbia 1954)


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I don’t think you’ll find THREE HOURS TO KILL among anyone’s Top Ten Films list, or Top Ten Westerns, or even Top Ten Dana Andrews Movies. What you will find, if you give this movie a chance, is a solid, adult themed Technicolor Western with just a hint of film noir, made by Hollywood pros in front and behind the cameras. And you can’t ask for much more than that.

Jim Guthrie returns after a three year absence to the town that once tried to hang him. Jim relates the tale via flashback to old friend and current sheriff Ben East: a big night in town had everybody drinking and partying it up. Sexy hotel owner Chris Palmer comes on to Jim, but he only has eyes for pretty Laurie Mastin, bringing out the jealous side of banker Niles Hendricks. Laurie’s brother Carter disapproves of Jim, and a fight…

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Pre Code Confidential #27: Mae West in SHE DONE HIM WRONG (Paramount 1933)


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Bawdy Mae West had scandalized Broadway with her risque humor, and struggling Paramount Pictures snapped her to a movie deal. Her first was a supporting part in 1932’s NIGHT AFTER NIGHT, where she was allowed to rewrite her own dialog, and stole the show by purring sexually charged lines like “Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie”. Mae’s presence helped refill Paramount’s coffers, and raised the hackles of censorship boards across America. It wasn’t long until the Production Code became strictly enforced, thanks in large part to Mae, but before then, she was given the spotlight in 1933’s SHE DONE HIM WRONG, based somewhat on her stage success DIAMOND LIL.

Like the play, SHE DONE HIM WRONG is set in The Bowery during the 1890’s, but here Diamond Lil is called Lady Lou, because the censors wanted to whitewash all vestiges of the ribald play. Diamond Lil or Lady…

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I Watched Race For Your Life, Charlie Brown


In Race For Your Life, Charlie Brown, the entire Peanuts gang (including Snoopy and Woodstock) go to camp for the summer and run afoul three bullies and a really mean cat.  Along with all the other camp activities, there’s also a rafting race.  With no adult supervision, the boys (led by Charlie Brown) end up one raft, the girls (led by Peppermint Patty) end up on another raft, Snoopy and Woodstock build their own raft, and the bullies try to sabotage the three other teams.  While Charlie Brown tries to find his voice as a leader and Peppermint Patty runs her raft by having every decision determined by secret ballot, Snoopy and Woodstock explore the wilderness.

Though Race For Your Life, Charlie Brown was released theatrically in 1977, it was made by the same team responsible for the Charlie Brown TV specials and it feels more like an extended TV show than an actual movie.  It’s still a cute production, though, especially if you’re already a fan of Peanuts.  The animation is primitive by today’s standards but it has a retro appeal and Charlie Brown is as likable as he is wishy-washy.  Not surprisingly, Snoopy and Woodstock are the film’s MVPs.  From the minute that they drive up on their motorcycle, Snoopy and his friend steal the movie.  Because it lacks both the spiritual and the philosophical themes that we usually associate with Peanuts, the movie’s not as memorable or poignant as the holiday specials and some of my favorite characters, like Linus and Lucy, don’t have much to do.  I was especially disappointed that Lucy stayed in the background and let Peppermint Patty run the girl’s team.  Whatever happened to the Lucy who could always convince Charlie Brown to kick the football?

In the end, the important thing is that the movie has a good message.  Bullies are losers, nothing’s more important than friendship, and the best team wins.

Film Review: Hamlet (dir by Michael Almereyda)


What if Hamlet was a hipster douchebag?

That appears to be the question at the heart of the 2000 film adaptation of William Shakespeare’s most famous play.  In this adaptation, a young Ethan Hawke plays a Hamlet who is no longer a melancholy prince but who is instead a film student with a petulant attitude.

As you probably already guessed, this is one of those modern day adaptations of Shakespeare.  Denmark is now a Manhattan-based corporation.  Elsinore is a hotel.  Hamlet ponders life while wandering around a Blockbuster and, at one point, the ghost of his father stands in front of a Pepsi machine.  While Shakespeare’s dialogue remains unchanged, everyone delivers their lives while wearing modern clothing.  It’s one of those things that would seem rather brave and experimental if not for the fact that modern day versions of Shakespeare have gone from being daring to being a cliché.

At the film’s start, the former CEO of the Denmark Corporation has mysteriously died and his brother, Claudius (Kyle MacLachlan), has not only taken over the company but he’s also married the widow, Gertrude (Diane Venora).  Hamlet comes home from film school, convinced that there has been a murder and his suspicions are eventually confirmed by the ghost of his father (Sam Shepard).  Meanwhile, poor Ophelia (Julia Stiles) takes pictures of flowers while her brother, Laertes (Liev Schreiber), glowers in the background.  Polonius (Bill Murray) offers up pointless advice while Fortinbras (Casey Affleck) is reimagined as a corporate investor and Rosencrantz (Steve Zahn) wears a hockey jersey.  Hamlet spends a lot of time filming himself talking and the Mousetrap is no longer a player but instead an incredibly over-the-top short film that will probably remind you of the killer video from The Ring.

I guess a huge part of this film’s appeal was meant to be that it featured a lot of people who you wouldn’t necessarily think of as being Shakespearean actors. Some of them did a surprisingly good job.  For instance, Kyle MacLachlan was wonderully villainous as Claudius and Steve Zahn was the perfect Rosencrantz.  Others, like Diane Venora and Liev Schreiber, were adequate without being particularly interesting.  But then you get to Bill Murray as Polonius and you start to realize that quirkiness can only take things so far.  Murray does a pretty good job handling Shakespeare’s dialogue but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s totally miscast as the misguided and foolish Polonius.  One could easily imagine Murray in the role of Osiric.  Though it may initially seem a stretch, one could even imagine him playing Claudius.  But he’s simply not right for the role of Polonius.  Murray’s screen presence is just too naturally snarky for him to be convincing as a character who alternates between being a “tedious, old fool” and an obsequious ass kisser.

Considering that he spends a large deal of the movie wearing a snow cap while wandering around downtown Manhattan, Ethan Hawke does a surprisingly good job as Hamlet.  Or, I should say, he does a good job as this film’s version of Hamlet.  Here, Hamlet is neither the indecisive avenger nor the Oedipal madman of previous adaptations.  Instead, he’s portrayed as being rather petulant and self-absorbed, which doesn’t necessarily go against anything that one might find within Shakespeare’s original text.  Hawke’s not necessarily a likable Hamlet but his interpretation is still a credible one.

At one point, while Hamlet thinks about revenge, we see that he’s watching Laurence Olivier’s version of Hamlet on television.  There’s Olivier talking to Yorick’s skull while Hawke watches.  It’s a scene that is somehow both annoying and amusing at the same time.  On the one hand, it feels rather cutesy and more than a little pretentious.  At the same time, it’s so over-the-top in its pretension that you can’t help but kind of smile at the sight of it.  To me, that scene epitomizes the film as a whole.  It’s incredibly silly but it’s so unapologetic that it’s easy to forgive.

Lifetime Movie Review: Homekilling Queen (dir by Alexandre Carrière)


Poor Whitney Manning!

As the central character of the Lifetime film, Homekilling Queen, Whitney (played by Kaitlyn Bernard) only wants one thing.  She wants to be homecoming queen!  And really, why shouldn’t she be?  She believes that she’s the most popular girl in the entire school, despite the fact that no one actually seems to like her.  Add to that, she’s rich and serving as homecoming queen is practically a family tradition!  Her mother, Connie (Ashley Jones), was homecoming queen.  So was her grandmother, Evelyn (Jennifer Dale).  Both Connie and Evelyn are determined that Whitney will be the next homecoming queen.  Connie’s even taught her how to do a proper pageant wave.

How determined is Whitney?  She’s so determined that, over the summer, she even murdered one of her rivals!  That’s determination!

Still, things are never quite as easy as they should be.  For instance, Whitney may think that she has the election all sewn up but Natasha Hart (Kayleigh Shikanai) feels differently.  Natasha is sick of the school being run by mean girls like Whitney.  Natasha decides that she’s going to run against Whitney!

At first, Whitney is dismissive of Natasha and her campaign.  Everyone knows that Natasha had a drug problem in the past.  Apparently, she drove her car into the bleachers while high on oxy.  (This automatically makes Natasha cooler than anyone I went to high school with.)  However, Natasha is now clean and sober and looking to make the world a better place.  To Whitney’s shock, Natasha starts to pick up support for her campaign.  Even after Whitney sends everyone in school a nude picture that’s been photoshopped to look like Natasha, Natasha’s campaign continues to build momentum.

Well, if photoshopped nudes won’t knock Natasha out of the race, how about planting drugs on her?  And if Whitney has to murder someone to get those drugs …. well, that’s politics.

It’s an interesting film.  On the one hand, you’re supposed to dislike Whitney, Connie, and Evelyn.  And it is true that Whitney does commit a murder or two.  On the other hand, they’re all so determined to win that homecoming election that you can’t help but admire the level of their dedication.  If it means giving students gifts to win their vote, Whitney’s willing to do it.  If it means seducing the school’s creepy principal to keep her daughter from being disqualified, Connie’s going to do just that.  Kaitlyn Bernard, Ashley Jones, and Jennifer Dale all really dig into their roles and do a great job at capturing the unhinged obsessiveness of their characters.  Jennifer Dale is especially a marvel as the coldy pragmatic Evelyn.  When she glares at anyone who would stand in her granddaughter’s way, you’re left with no doubt that Evelyn is not someone who you would want to mess with.  She’s scary but you would definitely want her to have your back in a confrontation.

Also doing a good job were Kayleigh Shikanai and Krista Bridges, who were perfectly cast as mother and daughter.  Every scene between them rang true and, watching them, I was reminded of the way that my mom and I would relate to each other.  They brought an unexpected sense of reality to a film that could have otherwise just been an enjoyably over-the-top melodrama.

Homekilling Queen was a lot of fun and, given the number of times that Lifetime rebroadcasts all of their films over the year, it’s one to keep an eye out for.

Lifetime Film Review: A Mother on the Edge (dir by Jason Bourque)


What would you do if, one day, you were suddenly told that everything that you believed was a delusion?

That’s question that rests at the heart of A Mother On The Edge, a film that aired on Lifetime earlier this month.

The mother of the title is Blair Ayken (Kelly Thiebaud).  When we first meet Blair, her life is definitely in flux.  She’s wrapped up in a lawsuit with a former business partner.  Her sleazy ex-husband, Simon (Matt Hamilton), is …. well, he’s acting like a sleazy ex-husband.  She still occasionally has nightmares about a serious auto accident that occurred a year earlier.  Perhaps the only bright spot in her life is her daughter, Lori (Lina Renna).

Or is she?

One day, Blair goes to her daughter’s school and can’t find Lori.  When she goes to the office, she’s informed that the school has never had a student named Lori Ayken.  When she talks to the students who she believed to be Lori’s classmates, they all tell her that they’ve never seen or heard of Lori.  When Blair goes to her friend and lawyer, Cynthia (Alison Wandzura), Cynthia reveals that, though she’s heard a lot about Lori from Blair, she’s never actually met her.  Finally, when Blair confronts Simon and demands to know where Lori is, Simon tells her that she’s gone crazy.  Lori, he explains, has been dead for a year.  She died in the very same car accident about which Blair has been having nightmares.

Blair swears that her daughter is alive and has been kidnapped.  Everyone around her swears that Lori has been dead for a year and that Blair has lost her mind.  Even Cynthia gets a little bit upset when Blair speaks up at a court hearing and starts to explain her theory that everyone but her is either incorrect or lying.  So, who is correct?  The best thing about A Mother On The Edge is that it keeps you guessing.  Since Blair is the main character and Simon is such a sleaze, our natural instinct is to believe her.  But, it’s hard not to have doubts.  As sure as Blair is that Lori is alive, everyone else seems to be equally sure that Blair is delusional.  As I watched the film, I found myself going back and forth.  At first, I was like, “Well, this is obviously a setup” but then I was like, “Maybe Blair really is crazy.”

A lot of that was due to the performance of Kelly Thiebaud.  She did a great job capturing both Blair’s initial panic and also her determination to not only prove that Lori was alive but to also rescue her.  Thiebaud brought just enough of a nervous edginess to her performance that you easily could understand why people might view her as being unbalanced and, as a result, you were never quite sure just how much you should trust her beliefs.  She kept you wondering.  It was a performance that left me wondering how I was would react and what I would do if I ever found myself in Blair’s situation.

I also liked the performance of Phillip Mitchell, who played a character known as The Fixer and who brought just the right combination of menace and annoyance to his role.  I can’t reveal too much about his role without spoiling the film but Mitchell definitely made an impression.

A Mother On The Edge originally aired on Lifetime on May 3rd.  Fortunately, Lifetime tends to rebroadcast their films several times during the year so keep an eye out for A Mother On The Edge.

You’re The Top!: Eleanor Powell Was BORN TO DANCE (MGM 1936)


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Dancing masters like Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly, and The Nicholas Brothers all agreed… Eleanor Powell was the tops! The 24-year-old star made a big splash in MGM’s BROADWAY MELODY OF 1936, and the studio quickly followed up with BORN TO DANCE, showcasing Eleanor’s tap-dancing prowess in a fun musical-comedy-romance featuring a cavalcade of stars, and an original score by Cole Porter. Yep, Leo the Lion was going big on this one!

The plot’s your typical Boy Meets Girl/Boy Loses Girl/Boy Wins Girl Back fluff, this time around concerning submarine sailors in port and the babes they chase after. Nora Paige (Eleanor) enters the Lonely Hearts Club (no, not Sgt. Pepper’s! ) looking for work as a hoofer (“You don’t use a fan?”, says wisecracking Jenny Saks, played by wisecracking Una Merkel ). Nora shows what she can do in the hot number “Rap, Tap On Wood”, a joyous dance number…

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Film Review: Another Plan From Outer Space (dir by Lance Polland)


Another Plan From Outer Space opens with both the Star Spangled Banner and a quick trip through history.  We watch and listen as President John F. Kennedy announces that, some day, a man will walk on the Moon.  Kennedy is followed by Barack Obama, announcing that we will land on Mars within his lifetime.  And finally, we have President Trump, announcing that we will not only someday land on Mars but on other worlds as well.

Jump forward to 2024 and all of those predictions have come true.  There are now Martian colonies and space shuttles regularly make the journey from Earth to Mars and back again.  Man may have conquered space but that doesn’t mean that accidents don’t occasionally happen.  For instance, after we’ve heard from the Presidents, we watch as the American spaceship Genesis One crashes into the desert.

Five members of the crew manage to survive the crash.  They know they’re on Earth but, with their communications equipment damaged, they don’t know exactly where they are.  As Chief Hudson (Augie Duke) puts it, they could just as easily be in the Middle East as they could be in North America.  With the mission leader dead, Captain Jackson (Scott Sell) takes command and immediately starts giving out orders, much to the annoyance of Commander Strickland (Jessica Morris).

However, the crew has more than just professional jealousy and hurt feelings to deal with.  Strange things are happening in the desert.  Hudson swears that she saw the ship’s doctor, Yushiro (Minchi Murakami), fatally injured by something in the desert, just for the body to vanish and Yushiro to later show up quite alive and uninjured.  While Lt. Brooks (Hans Hernke) worries that his watch — a family heirloom — has stopped working, Captain Jackson swears that he can hear music in the distance.

And then there’s the seemingly abandoned cabin, sitting out in the middle of the desert….

Though the title may be evocative of Plan Nine From Outer Space, this film actually has more in common with a classic episode of The Twilight Zone than it does with Ed Wood’s infamous UFO epic.  Along with exploring the mystery of where the Genesis has crashed, the film is even more interested in exploring how each of the individual survivors deal with the isolation of being stranded in the desert.  (Let’s just say that some handle it better than others.)  About halfway through the film, there’s an extended sequence in which the survivors simply sit around a campfire and discuss not only their pasts but what they’re hoping for their futures.  It’s a nicely done scene, one that adds an element of relatable humanity to the film’s science fiction story.

The film’s black-and-white cinematography not captures the harshness of the desert but it also contributes to the film’s retro feel.  The film makes the best of its low-budget aesthetic, using the desert to create a properly ominous atmosphere.  At its best, you can feel the oppressive heat burning down on the characters.  Add to that a nicely fierce performance from Jessica Morris and you have a film that favorably compares to the early sci-fi work of Roger Corman.  The film, of course, ends with both a twist and the possibility of continuation.

Another Plan From Outer Space is now available on Blu-Ray and DVD.

That’s Blaxploitation! 16: Pam Grier is SHEBA, BABY (AIP 1975)


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The Blaxploitation Explosion was beginning to wind down by 1975, but genre superstar Pam Grier had a few more aces left up her silky sleeve. One was SHEBA, BABY, a film that doesn’t get much love, probably due to its lower-then-usual budget restrictions, but I found it a more than passable entry, mainly because of Pam’s charisma. She carries the movie on her sexy shoulders and makes it watchable, budget be damned!

In this outing, we have gangsters terrorizing local Louisville, KY businesses, including Andy Shayne. Enter daughter Sheba, a Chicago PI who comes home just in time to help. The cops refuse to get involved, so when Andy’s gunned down by hoods, Sheba’s on the case, and there’s no stopping her from getting revenge on those creepy criminals…

Pam is again one bad sista, decked out in stylish 70’s fashions as she pursues the villains with aplomb. In fact…

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I Watched The Phenom


The Phenom is a movie that really took me by surprise.

It’s about a pitcher named Hopper Gibson (Johnny Simmons), a kid just out of high school who has a 100 mile fastball and a big future in major league baseball.  However, after a promising start, Hopper is struggling.  He has control issues.  He’s throwing wild pitches.  He’s losing games.  The team finally sends Hopper to see Dr. Mobley (Paul Giamatti), a sports psychologist who say that he can help Hopper regain his focus.

Hopper has a lot to deal with.  He’s still just a teenager but he feels like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders.  He promised his mom that he’d buy her a new house and, at the same time, the press is constantly hounding him and demanding that he give them a good quote every time that he loses a game.  Meanwhile, Hopper’s father (Ethan Hawke), who has always put tremendous pressure on his son, is failed ball player himself and a drug dealer.  Hopper finds himself torn between two philosophies, his father’s belief that winning is the only thing that matter and Dr. Mobley’s more gentle approach to the game.  The problem is that, with everyone wanting someone from him, Hopper doesn’t know who he can trust.

The Phenom is a baseball movie and the main character is a pitcher but hardly any of the action takes place on the mound.  Instead, most of the movie takes place in either Dr. Mobley’s office or in Hopper’s head.  The Phenom does a good job of showing the type of daily pressure that Hopper is living under.  All of his life, everyone has told Hopper that he has a special gift and now, he’s so scared of not living up to his potential that he can’t get the ball across the plate.  At the same time, the film is also critical about the the emphasis that society puts on celebrities and professional athletes.  While Hopper goes into the major leagues straight out of high school, his valedictorian girlfriend struggles to pay for college.  Because Hopper can throw a fastball, no one has ever cared about whether or not he actually got an education.  But what’s going to become of Hopper and all the professional athletes like him when they can no longer play the game?  Hopper is a kid who was always told that he would never have to grow up and now, he’s expected to make adult decisions about the rest of his life.

Johnny Simmons does a really good job playing Hopper and the film really makes you think about the pressure that society puts on professional athletes to constantly win.  Most people can get away with having a bad day but, if a pitcher or a quarterback does it, the whole world wants their head.  The next time I want to yell at whoever’s pitching for the Rangers, I’m going to remember Hopper and this movie.

The Phenom was directed and written by Noah Buschel and it is currently streaming on Netflix.