The Films of 2024: The Mummy Murders (dir by Colin Bressler)

Posted on May 21, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Alexis (Leila Anastasia Scott) is a San Antonio news reporter who, while sitting in a small cafe, is approached by a man named Joe (Jason Scarbrough).

At first, Joe just seems like an appreciative fan of Alexis’s reporting, albeit a bit of creepy and pushy one. But it’s only after Joe sits down, removes his glasses, and starts to speak about his life to Alexis that the truth becomes apparent. Joe says that he’s the serial killer who has been terrorizing San Antonio for the past few months. His trademark is that he mummifies the bodies of his victims. At first skeptical and then increasingly disturbed, Alexis listens as Joe calmly discusses his life, from his childhood as the son of a mortician to his time in the Army, to his current life as a killer. As the conversation continues, it becomes apparent that Joe has a connection to Alexis and her family.

First released on January 2nd (and therefore, the first film of 2024), The Mummy Murders is a low-budget serial killer film that was filmed on location in San Antonio. I have to admit that I’m a bit weary of serial killer films, just because there have been so many of them that they can sometimes feel rather interchangeable. There’s only so many times you can sit through someone giving a long-winded explanation of their motives and their techniques before you start to wonder what the point of it all truly is. Personally, I am of the opinion that Lars Von Trier pushed the serial killer genre to its logical conclusion with The House That Jack Built. Matt Dillon plunging into the abyss was not only a fitting end for his character but also a sign that we had learned just about everything that there was to learn about what makes a serial killer tick. There’s nothing left to discover.

That said, when taken on its own terms, The Mummy Murders is effectively creepy. Again, it’s an extremely low budget movie and, towards the end of the film, the boom mic makes a presumably uninvited appearance. There’s some holes in the film’s plot and I took issue with a lot of the choices that Alexis made throughout the film. But Jason Scarbrough gives an effectively unhinged performance as Joe and the film deserves a lot of credit for not trying to make him into some sort of erudite, witty Hannibal Lecter-style murderer. Instead, Joe is a believable creep who takes pride in his crimes because they’re the only thing for which he’s ever shown any ability. Joe looks at both Alexis and the audience with a thousand-yard state, leaving little doubt that there’s zero room for kindness or empathy in Joe’s death-obsessed mind. In an especially creepy moment, Joe talks about his excitement when, as a pre-teen, he discovered that the body of a girl on whom he had a crush had been brought to his father’s mortuary. It’s icky and it’s creepy but it’s probably a more realistic portrayal of the killer’s sick mindset than what is found in most films.

As a final note, The Mummy Murders was shot on location in San Antonio. San Antonio’s a lovely city. More films should shoot down there.

Danger Zone (1996, directed by Allan Eastman)

Posted on May 21, 2024 by Jedadiah Leland

Framed on charges of dumping toxic waste, Morgan (Billy Zane) accepts a CIA mission to travel to the fictional African country of Zambeze and to track down his former friend, Jim Scott (Robert Downey, Jr.). Scott is an ex-CIA agent who faked his own death and who is now leading a revolution against the oppressive government of Zambeze. Scott knows the location of several barrels of uranium. Also searching for the uranium is the ruthless Mr. Chang (Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa). Morgan teams up with Dr. Kim Woods (Lisa Collins) but soon discovers that he has to be careful of who to trust.

There is a surprisingly lot of talent in the cast of this film. Along with Zane, Downey, Collins, and Tagawa, Ron Silver appears as the shady political operative who joins Morgan in Zambeze. The cast may be good but it doesn’t take long to see that everyone in this film was there mostly for the money. No one brings their A-game to Danger Zone and both Downey and Silver often look like they’re struggling to deliver their lines with a straight face. Downey, especially, gives a self-amused performance, delivering his lines in a thick and indecipherable Southern accent.

(It is easy to forget that there was a time when Robert Downey, Jr’s career was regularly cited as being the ultimate Hollywood cautionary tale. Everyone knew he was talented but, in the 90s, his well-publicized struggle with drug addiction and the time that he spent in jail made him practically uninsurable and unhirable. He ended up appearing in a lot of films like this one before he eventually got clean and reinvented himself as the face of the MCU. In the 90s, most people would probably have been shocked to hear that Downey would eventually win an Oscar and receive a standing ovation as he accepted it.)

Danger Zone does have some good action scenes. The movie ends with an attack on a train that is actually pretty exciting. Unfortunately, the rest of the film suffers from bad acting and an incoherent plot that makes Danger Zone almost impossible to follow. You can fly into the Danger Zone but you won’t want to stay.

The Films of 2024: Sunrise (dir by Andrew Baird)

Posted on May 20, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

In the Pacific Northwest, animals are being killed and their blood is being drained. Some of the locals theorize that it’s the work of the Red Coat, a legendary creature that demands constant sacrifices to keep it at bay.

Reynolds (Guy Pearce, with a wild preacherman beard) doesn’t care about the Red Coat. He’s more upset about the fact that he and his buddies are feeling displaced in America. He’s been driven to rage by the fact that there’s a family named Loi living in his community. He hates immigrants. He blames minorities for every problem that America is facing. He says “ain’t” instead of “is not” because that’s the way this film lets us know that its characters are supposed to be blue collar.

Reynolds has murdered Mr. Loi (Chike Chin) and he’s targeting Yan Loi (Crystal Yu) and her teenage son, Edward (William Gao). Fortunately, the Loi Family has a protector. Fallon (Alex Pettyfer) wanders through the misty countryside with a grim look on his face and a darkly-colored wardrobe that is designed to let us know that he’s seeking vengeance. Along with defending the Loi Family, Fallon has a personal reason for seeking vengeance on Reynolds. Fallon also has an insatiable need for blood….

Sunrise is a somber, slowly-paced, and rather shallow-minded film. It takes itself very seriously and it definitely wants you to know that it has important stuff on its mind, unlike those other vampire films that just seek to be entertaining. Of course, as any student of the grindhouse knows, an entertaining film can often be the most effective form of propaganda around. People aren’t going to think about your message is they’re bored out of their mind.

At times, Sunrise seems to think that it’s the first film to ever use vampirism as a way to comment on current events, which I’m sure would be news to Bram Stoker, Jean Rollin, Anne Rice, Stephen King, Kim Newman, John Carpenter, Werner Herzog, Francis Ford Coppola, Spike Lee, Abel Ferrara, Guillermo del Toro, Kathyrn Bigelow, David Conenberg, Bill Gunn, Dan Curtis, and just about anyone else who has ever written or directed anything that involved a vampire. Reynolds rants and rave about his hated of immigrants in speeches that are so overwritten and so florid that they verge on parody. (At one point, he saps at a deputy for not drinking an American beer.) His character is a fever dream of what Leftists think blue collar workers sound like when they’re not cheering their favorite football team or laughing about climate change. I suppose the filmmakers deserve some credit for having enough discipline to realize that having Reynolds shout, “This is MAGA country!” would be a bit too heavy-handed for even this film but one can tell that the temptation was definitely there.

At first, I thought that the film’s cinematography would be its saving grace but eventually, I got bored with all of the artfully composed shots of the misty northwest. There’s really not much difference between Sunrise‘s visuals and the visuals of the Twilight films. Then I thought that Guy Pearce’s intensity might elevate the film but then I realized that Pearce has played this same character several times and he’s been more interesting in other films. As for Alex Pettyfer, he’s just as boring here as he was in Magic Mike. In Magic Mike, he at least danced.

Interestingly, this film — with its portrayal of rampant racism in the American northwest — is an Irish production that was shot not in Washington or Oregon but instead in Belfast. That perhaps explains why the characters often sound like they learned how to speak by watching American cop shows on television. Personally, I am not amongst those who feels that people should only be allowed to make movies about their own countries. I don’t believe in limiting the imagination in that style. As an American of Irish (and Italian and Spanish) descent, I think that an American filmmaker would be totally justified in directing a film about Ian Paisley’s followers terrorizing the Catholic minority in Northern Ireland. (They could even shoot it around Austin, Texas.) Or maybe someone could make a movie about that Irish basketball team who refused to shake hands with an opposing team because the team was from Israel. All’s fair.

Roaring Rangers (1946, directed by Ray Nazarro)

Posted on May 20, 2024 by Jedadiah Leland

Another frontier town is in trouble.

Sherriff Jeff Conner (Jack Rockwell) is having trouble ridding his town of outlaws so his son, Larry, (Mickey Kuhn) writes a letter to his hero to ask for help. He addresses the letter to “Durango Kid, Texas.” That’s all it takes for Steve Randall (Charles Starrett) and his sidekick, Smiley Burnette, to show up in town.

Steve and Smiley apply to be deputies but Sheriff Conner explains that someone is circulating a petition to get him fired. Steve dresses up as the Durango Kid and pressures the citizens to give the Sheriff another chance. Realizing that the Durango Kid is making them look bad, the outlaws decide to dress up one of their own as Durango and make the Kid look bad. With the town turning on Durango, will Durango and Smiley be able to save Sheriff Conner from an assassination attempt?

This Durango Kid film is different from the rest of the series in that, for once, Steve is hired to be a deputy instead of a sheriff. This really is Sheriff Conner’s story, as he tries to win the respect of the town and keep its citizens safe, even while his own brother (Ed Cassidy) is working with the outlaws. There are all the usual horse chase and shootouts but this time, Durango and Smiley are mostly around to provide support to a man who is trying to do the right thing. B-western fans will enjoy it.

Smiley sings a few songs, as always. This time, musical accompaniment is provided by Merle Travis and his Bronco Busters.

May Positivity: New Hope (dir by Rodney Ray)

Posted on May 19, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 2012 film, New Hope, is narrated by Michael Evans (Samuel Davis).

Michael is a seventeen year-old preacher’s kid whose father, Alex (Will Schwab), has just gotten a job in the small town of New Hope. As a result, Michael has to move in the middle of his senior year. (Yikes, not fun!) He’s not happy about that and, to make things even worse, Michael’s father has talked the high school basketball coach, Tom Miller (Reg Rob), into putting Michael on the team.

(Is it normal for coaches to put someone on a team without having them first try out? The basketball team is in the playoffs, after all.)

Michael tries to explain to Coach Miller that he’s not that good of a basketball player. Coach Miller replies that he doesn’t really care whether or not Michael is a good player. Instead, he wants Michael on the team so that Michael can be a role model for the younger players. Coach Miller assumes that, as a preacher’s kid, Michael will automatically be a good influence.

Uhmm …. has the coach ever met any preacher’s kids before?

Seriously, I live in Texas and, when I was growing up, my family moved all over the Southwest. I have known a lot of preacher’s kids and, for the most part, almost all of them were wild. Even the ones who were religious and planning on going into the family business were wild. When you’re a teenager, your natural instinct is to rebel against whatever it is that your parents are about and, as a result, preacher’s kids usually have a lot to rebel against. There’s a reason why everyone automatically understands what that Sweet Talkin’ Son Of A Preacher Man song is about.

And even if Michael isn’t wild (and, because this is a faith-based film, Michael is a surprisingly well-behaved high school student), how is it fair to tell anyone that they have to be a role model for a bunch of people that they barely know? Michael’s only been a student at his new school for a day.

Michael quickly finds himself in conflict with the team’s star player, Lucas Green (Ben Davies, giving the closest thing that the film has to a good performance). Lucas’s brother also played for the team until he committed suicide. Lucas, with his unresolved issues of anger, feels that Michael tying to take his brother’s place. Lucas gets even angrier when Michael starts to date his dead brother’s girlfriend, Jasmine (Perry Frost). Meanwhile, Michael’s parents get upset when they discover a condom wrapper in his jacket. Oh, you silly parents! Michael isn’t a typical preacher’s kid. The only reason he took the condom out of the wrapper was so he could throw it away.

(Seriously, Lucas seems more like a preacher’s kid than Michael.)

There’s a whole genre of faith-based films that use sports as a metaphor for having faith and not questioning authority figures and New Hope is definitely a part of that genre. Michael has no real desire to be on the basketball team but both his father and his coach want him on the team so Michael goes with it. It’s hard not to feel that Michael really needs to stand up for himself. The film is all a bit too long (the film clocks in at over two hours) and unrealistic. It’s a film that tries to tackle all of the important issues of growing up but it does so in far too ham-fisted a manner. Personally, I think Michael should have quit the team, bought a beret and a pack of Clove cigarettes, and taken a creative writing class. He would have been much happier and no one would have expected him to be a role model. There’s nothing wrong with trying different things and making your own decisions. There’s nothing wrong with being a rebel. That’s what being a teenager is supposed to be all about.

The Films of 2024: Rebel Moon Part 2 — The Scargiver (dir by Zack Snyder)

Posted on May 19, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

In some other galaxy, a bunch of annoying farmers are living on the moon of Veldt. The evil army of the Motherworld, led by Atticus Noble (Ed Skrein), wants to conquer the moon and steal all of the grain for themselves. A bunch of rebels — including a long-winded former general named Titus (Djimon Hounsou) and painfully dull former solider of the evil empire named Kora (Sofia Boutella) — are on the moon and help the farmers prepare for battle. And then the battle happens and the movie ends and somehow, it takes more than two hours to tell this extremely thin story.

Admittedly, I have not seen the first Rebel Moon but I doubt it makes much of a difference. I’ve seen enough science fiction movies and enough Zack Snyder films that I feel like I can follow this sequel without having seen the first film. In fact, the only question that I have as a result of not seeing the first film is whether the absolutely ludicrous flashback to Kora’s past was lifted from the first film or was it specifically shot for the sequel? The flashback reveals that Kora became a rebel after her mentor attempted to frame her for the murder of a good space emperor and his family. I have to admit that the overwrought, slow motion-heavy flashback did inspire a few chuckles on my part. There was an orchestra playing in the background of the scene and they continued to play, even while the emperor and his family were being murdered. You have to wonder just what exactly the musicians were thinking while all of that was going on.

As for Rebel Moon Part Two, it has some nice visuals but the story is a mess and there are some moments that simply leave you wondering whether to laugh or sigh with frustration. There’s the fact that the fearsome imperial spaceships are apparently fueled by men shoveling coal into a furnace. There’s the fact that fearsome imperial space laser gun takes forever to aim and fire, presumably to give the rebels time to sabotage the ship. (That seems like a pretty big design flaw.) There’s the fact that the evil empire turns out to be so inept that it’s hard to feel like the farmers really needed to spend as much time training as they did. By the end of the film, I felt like I probably could have beaten up the evil empire single-handedly. They just weren’t that impressive.

The main problem is that the farmers were kind of annoying and, even when they finally did fight the evil empire, it was still hard to feel that they still didn’t have any control over their own fate. First, they were being ordered around the bad guys. Then, they were being ordered around by Titus and the rebels. Titus, himself, is one of those annoying characters who can’t ever say anything without turning it into a speech. On the one hand, Titus insists that the farmers don’t have much time to get ready. On the other hand, Titus continually wants to waste what little time they have by giving a monologue. Kora, meanwhile, rarely speaks. This has less to do with her being a strong, silent warrior and instead it’s all about her not really having much of a personality.

The majority of the film’s runtime is taken up with the battle and it’s hard not to notice that for all of the explosions and presumed death, most of the main characters somehow manage to survive. It left me thinking about we were supposed to celebrate the survival of the Daily Planet staff at the end of Man of Steel, despite the fact that thousands of others undoubtedly died while Superman and General Zod were ripping apart Metropolis.

To be clear, there are quite a few Zack Snyder films that I really do like. I am not, by any means, an anti-Snyder person. I thought Sucker Punch was a masterpiece. I admire and respect what he did with Watchmen. I’m not a fan of his work with the DCEU but then again, with the exception of the first Wonder Woman, I’m not really a fan of anyone’s work with the DCEU. The important thing is that I think that, with the right material, Zack Snyder can be brilliant and I love the fact that, even in his lesser films, he still goes all out to bring his vision to life. As a director, Snyder is not scared to go over-the-top with sweeping, dramatic moments. He’s someone who understands that movies — especially action films — should be big. But Rebel Moon 2 never really works. If anything, it sometimes feels like Snyder on auto pilot. I’ll always be willing to take a chance of Zack Snyder but I hope that doesn’t mean having to watch Rebel Moon 3.

Landrush (1946, directed by Vernon Keays)

Posted on May 19, 2024 by Jedadiah Leland

Steve Harmon (Charles Starrett) rides again! This time, he’s investigating the murder of a Pony Express rider. The murderer is outlaw leader Claw Hawkins (Bud Geary), who is working with rancher Kirby Garvey (Steve Barclay) to cheat the local homesteaders out of their land.

When local newspaper editor Jake Parker (Emmett Lynn) is attacked for trying to expose Claw Hawkins, Steve puts on a mask and dark clothing and, as the Durango Kid, he moves Jake to the carpentry shop owned by Durango’s old friend, Smiley Burnette. While Jake continues to spread the word to the homesteaders, Durango works to prevent Claw and Kirby from taking all of the land for themselves.

This is a typical Durango Kid film. This is not the first time that I’ve seen the Durango Kid protect the rights of homesteaders and, as usual, the main villain is not the outlaw that everyone fears but the respectable citizen who is controlling him. Along with the usual gunfights and horse chases, Landrush has an exciting sequence where Durango and the homesteaders have to deal with a series of fires that have been set by Claw to keep the homesteaders from reaching their land. Charles Starrett is as authentic a cowboy as ever. Unfortunately, Bud Geary and Steve Barclay aren’t very interesting as the villains. People who have watched several Durango Kid films will regret that series regulars Frank Fenton and Jock Mahoney weren’t cast in the roles.

As usual, Smiley Burnette provides comedy relief and sings two songs. This time, he’s accompanied by Ozie Waters and His Colorado Rangers.

Retro Television Review: Broken Angel (dir by Richard T. Heffron)

Posted on May 19, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay. Today’s film is 1988’s Broken Angel! It can be viewed on YouTube.

Chuck Coburn (William Shatner) has a nice house in the suburbs, a nice job, a nice car, and a nice Bruins jacket. He’s hoping that he can once against have a nice marriage with his wife (Susan Blakely), despite the fact that she cheated on him and she still thinks that he spends too much time at work.

Chuck is proud of his teenage daughter, Jaime (Erika Eleniak). Jaime seems like the perfect suburban and angelic teenager. But then Jaime goes to prom and her best friend, Jenny (Amy Lynne), is gunned down in front of her. Jaime runs from the scene and vanishes. As Chuck searches for his daughter, he is stunned discover that Jaime, Jenny, and their boyfriends were all a part of a gang! His perfect daughter was smoking weed, doing cocaine, selling crack, and taking part in rumbles with a rival Asian gang. Even worse, Jaime’s gang was called …. LFN!

LFN? That stands for Live For Now. The Live For Now Gang. Whenever we see the members of the gang preparing to get into a fight with another gang, they all chant, “LFN! LFN!” LFN is a gang of white suburban teenagers and they look just as dorky as they sound. I mean, I think it would be bad enough to discover that your child is in a gang but discovering they were in a dorky gang would probably make it even worse.

The majority of Broken Angel is made up of scenes of Chuck searching the mean streets of Los Angeles. He partners with a social worker (Roxann Dawson) who is herself a former gang member. Chuck discovers that his daughter’s street name was — *snicker* — Shadow. He also befriend a member of the LFN’s rival Asian gang and tries to encourage her to go straight. This leads to scene in which he is attacked by Al Leong. Somehow, middle-aged William Shatner manages to beat up Al Leong. That, in itself, is worth the cost of admission.

Broken Angel deals with a serious issue but it does so in such an overwrought and melodramatic fashion that most viewers will be moved not to tears but to laughter. In Broken Angel, William Shatner gave the type of overly dramatic and self-serious performance that he routinely pokes fun at today. If you’re one of those people who enjoys listening as Shatner emphasize random syllables and takes meaningly pauses, this movie will give you a lot to enjoy. In every scene, Shatner seems to be saying, “Notice me, Emmy voters! Notice me!” Of course, it wouldn’t be until Shatner learned how to laugh at himself that the Emmy voters would finally notice him.

The film ends on an abrupt note but with the promise of better days ahead. Just remember — keep an eye out for the LFN!

The Films of 2024: Scars (dir by Shaun Kosta)

Posted on May 18, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

A young man named Eric (Allen Williamson) enlists as a combat medic and is sent to Afghanistan. Eric truly thinks that he’s going to help to make the world a better place but, what he sees and experiences in Afghanistan, leaves him shaken and haunted by memories of the dead and wounded.

Upon returning home, Eric tries to keep himself busy helping his family’s winery recover from the latest round of California wildfires but he still finds himself tormented by his experiences. Suffering from PTSD, Eric discovers that his country is more than willing to send young men overseas to fight but it’s less willing to provide them with the support that they need when they return. With the help of his mother (Elizabeth Gast), his girlfriend (Cayla Black), and a fellow veteran (Stephen Wesley Green), Eric tries to find his place in the world.

Scars is an undeniably low-budget film. If you’re looking for a war film that is full of epic battle scenes and which will leave you feeling as if you actually are in the middle of Afghanistan, Scars is not the film to go with. Indeed, it took me a while to realize that Eric was in Afghanistan because Afghanistan looked exactly like California. As well, towards the end of the film, there’s a few moments of clumsy melodrama that feel as if they were added solely so that this rather talky film could be sold as a thriller.

But you know what? In the end, those flaws don’t matter. Scars is a heartfelt film, featuring an excellent lead performance from Allen Williamson, playing a man who is burdened by guilt but who never lets go of hope. Scars is a film about the pain that people carry with them and the struggle that men like Eric have when it comes to opening up about that pain. (Not all of the scars in the film are physical.) It’s an indictment of a society that, far too often, pushes the needs of veterans to the side. That’s especially true if that veteran served in an unpopular war, like the ones in Vietnam, Iraq, and Afghanistan. Considering that we still don’t know how many people were left behind when we left Afghanistan, Scars is a film that feels all too relevant.

And yes, Eric Roberts is in Scars. Playing a sympathetic doctor, he has about a minute of screentime towards the end of the film. It’s always a good idea to put your Eric Roberts cameo at the end of your movie, just to make sure that audiences stick around for the entire film.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

Lawless Empire (1945, directed by Vernon Keays)

Posted on May 18, 2024 by Jedadiah Leland

For years, outlaws have controlled the frontier town of Dusty Gulch but now their power is threatened by the homesteaders who are moving into the area. Led by the crusading Rev. Tex Harding, the homesteaders are being progress and reform to the frontier.

Duke (Ethan Laidlaw) and his gang have launched a campaign of intimidation against the new arrivals. Luckily, the Durango Kid (Charles Starrett) rides into town to protect the homesteaders. Duke’s boss, businessman Blaze Howard (John Calvert), decides that the town needs a sheriff to go after the Kid. Blaze offers the job to newcomer Steve Ranson, not realizing that Steve is not only the Durango Kid but also the brother of the former sheriff, who was murdered by Blaze’s men.

Lawless Empire is one of the few Durango Kid films not to feature Smiley Burnette as Durango’s sidekick. Instead, Durango rides into town with Bob Wills and his Texas Playboys and, while Willis does perform a song or two, there’s still considerable less singing than in the films that featured Burnette. The role of comic relief is provided by Dub Taylor in the role of Cannonball. Cannonball gets a job sweeping up Blaze’s saloon and he feeds whatever information he learns back to Durango. When Blaze figures out what’s going on, he deliberately supplies Cannonball with bad information but it doesn’t make any difference. The Durango Kid is always one step ahead of the bad guys.

Lawless Empire is a little more serious than the other Durango Kid films. Steve is not only trying to clean up the town but he’s also seeking to avenge his brother so there’s not as much room for as much comedy as usual. Lawless Empire does have all of the usual gunfights and horse chases and the film gets off to an exciting start with Durango making his first appearance with his gun already drawn so that he can disarm Duke and his men. Even without Smiley around to help him out, Durango brings law to a lawless empire.