Happy Horrorthon!!! I decided to do a bit of a hybrid review of one of my favorite stories: “Battleground” by Stephen King. This book is part of a short story anthology in Night Shift. Battleground was written in 1972 by King. This was back in the days when he wasn’t just hungry, he was starving. He was working in laundries, substitute teaching, maybe even a paper route. This particular work was published in Cavalier, which was a low-rent Playboy. In those days, he would sell stories to Swank – a low-rent Penthouse as well. Many of these stories were real gems or at least gems in the rough. For example, Night Surf (Cavalier and Night Shift) evolved into his opus The Stand about a decade later. Battleground was made into a 52 minute long episode of the above short-lived series (watch them on youtube before they are taken down!!!).
This episode starred William Hurt and like the short-story there is ZERO dialogue, giving the episode a silent movie feel that is very compelling. Throughout the episode, you only hear ambient noise or grunts or yells, but no spoken dialogue. In fact, even when a newscaster is announcing that a murder has taken place, it’s done with subtitles. This is as close to genius television as it gets. I was truly saddened that it was not renewed.
The episode depicts William Hurt as a nameless hitman who is taskered to kill a toymaker. He does. When Hurt goes back home to his San Francisco condo, he receives a package. Inside the package is compilation of army men and “additional surprises”. These aren’t your grandpa’s plastic army men; however, they are alive and they have cruel intentions for Mr. Hurt!
Within moments of opening the package, the army men attack William Hurt in very Army like fashion. They take a covered position under Hurt’s couch and open fire, forcing William to flee to the bathroom. This solace is short-lived because they have mini-howitzers. Yes, I was primed to like this one. There are even mini-helicopters that attack Hurt and they send nasty notes to one another demanding and refusing surrender.
The battle to avenge the toy maker’s death continues even out to the ledge of the building, which is likely an Easter Egg to another King story “The Ledge”. Hurt prevails against the army men, but there are two more “Additional Surprises” 1) a commando who very resourceful and 2) a mini thermonuclear device. The mini thermonuclear device is the only dumb part of the story because there is no such thing as a tiny Thermonuclear reaction – these are atoms we’re fusing or splitting afterall. If detonated (regardless of its “mini” nature) , it would’ve destroyed all of San Francisco, but let’s give King- a liberal arts major- a break on that one because it’s still a fun story.
I will review a few more of these stories that were in Night Shift or episodes from this show.
Happy Horrorthon!!! We are back in the eeeeeeeeevil Star Trek universe! Why is it evil? Obviously, it’s because they have beards and follow strict capitalist principles with a healthy dose of militarism.
Before I get into the story, I want to write that David and Scott Tipton do a good job of not having the mirror universe characters seeing themselves as villains. This may seem obvious, but it’s actually very common – especially in comics. For example, Stan Lee once had Magneto lead a group of mutants with the moniker of Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. I get that the X-Men thought they were evil, but why would Magneto?
This volume: Through the Mirror brings our Mirror Universe to the Next Generation universe our youth for supplies and plunder. Bearded Picard is faced with blockades from rival species in his universe and needs materiel and plunder to fuel his war machine in order to bring the Terran Empire back to its former glory before Emperor Spock made them go all drum-circle kumbaya…bleh.
My main complaint with the Volume Two is actually in the first installment. It opens with Worf investigating the theft of precious minerals from a mining colony in the “good universe”. He sees the thief and nearly catches him. This is a recurring issue with volume 2; the story should be only from the perspective of the mirror universe characters. There is simply too much of the “good universe”. They also have the “Good Universe” find an Andorian Ship that has been attacked by Evil Picard after the fact. WHY? Show us the Evil Planning, Show us the Pirate Picard attack, Show us why they believe they are justified. We bought the book; therefore, we are invested in these anti-heroes. The story could be great if we just get to bathe in their villany. Don’t judge them. This is their code. This is their society. They don’t see themselves as evil and neither should we. We can only judge them as evil if they violate their own code of morality not ours. This isn’t our universe. The good universe should be treated like MSG a little is … ok… too much and you vomit.
Back to the story, Pirate Picard lures the good enterprise into a trap, hoping to seize it. They fail, but they failed too much. It should’ve been more of a draw with a push to the evil universe. Scott and David – the evil guys are your heroes. They need to win at least a bit. You can have a close game, but don’t have them get their ass kicked because it makes it too much of a Good Next Gen story. The other knock is that they left Evil Barclay behind, dragging us back unnecessarily into the good universe. You are thwarting them waaaaay too much.
It’s time for Evil Picard to kick some ass, but it in a good way. Is it just for wealth for Pirate Picard? I don’t think so. In this universe, the Terrans see themselves as Superior like the British or Roman Empire. Therefore, when the Klingons and Cardassians took back a lot of the Empire they likely took many Human captives as slaves. This must be disgustingly unacceptable to Pirate Picard or any Terran Empire member. Have them liberate a planet, rescuing Human captives. From their perspective, they are not only NOT EVIL, but good because they are reasserting rightful human dominance to their universe. If you have to, make some propaganda posters with Pirate Picard. Make it personal for Pirate Picard. Maybe Picard’s brother joined the fleet and was captured? Make it personal! Go for it! Have Pirate Picard risk it all: mutiny, the ship, the Terran Empire to liberate and rescue his brother and nephew Robert. It would be epic!!!!! You have an unending depth that you can give Pirate Picard. Give him his version of humanity.
This volume was ok, but they are not fulfilling some great story potential here. This could be a great way to reboot the series. Just remember: They Don’t Consider Themselves Evil.
Happy Horrorthon!!!! We are already in week 2 and we are makin’ it work!!! Cycle of the Werewolf is very 1980s Stephen King. It clocks in at 100+ pages and moves briskly. In comparison, The Stand was 1000 pages and one chapter was actually from a Golden Retriever’s point of view….really. If you ever watched old movies on Showtime, you’ll remember this story as “Silver bullet” starring Corey Haim. The movie was actually fairly close to the book, except no Gary Busey.
The book takes place over the twelve months of the calendar year and I almost did this post as Twelve Days of Christmas song, but with werewolves….it could’ve worked! The first six months follow the werewolf killing on every full moon in Maine. As usual in Stephen King’s books the people of Maine are total dirt bags of all varietals: blowhard dirt bags, wife-beating dirt bags, racist dirt bags, and drunken dirt bags. In short, the townsfolk could all use some killing.
The month of July comes and the story shifts to Marty, a handicapped child, who really loves the 4th of July. As in the movie, Marty gets a bunch of fireworks from his Uncle and uses them to make the werewolf purblind. We learn the werewolf is the town Baptist preacher. As the months progress, Marty starts sending the preacher poison pen letters urging him to kill himself and signs his name to provoke a final confrontation. The confrontation is a bit anticlimactic because Stephen never really fleshed out the story and the final battle is no different. There is no close game or near run thing…nope…werewolf comes into the house, leaps at Marty, and Marty kills the werewolf dead. Boom. That’s it. It is fun to read these old Stephen King stories; he’s clearly still flexing his creative muscles and not totally sure of himself.
Happy Horrorthon!!! This review is going to be a deep dive into eeeeeeevil nerdism. I understand that not everyone reads this site is a techie nerd, BUUUUUUT I think we have a healthy plurality. Nothing is better than to merge an evil universe with my love of Star Trek.
I’m going to give brief recap of the Star Trek Mirror Universe. There’s a parallel universe in Star Trek that basically capitalist/imperialist. In that timeline, humans are aggressive and conquered the Vulcans. You can tell they are evil because they are avaricious and have beards- Think if Seattle/Portland went less drum circle and went more Roman. It’s common to kill your superior to advance in the chain of command, it’s totally capitalist, and more fun in some ways because it’s a lot less model UN and much more Model Viking.
The evil universe never appeared in the Next Generation, but it did appear in Star Trek: The Original Series and then the second tier properties of Enterprise, Deep Space Nine and Voyager. In those second tier properties, they set up a timeline that when the “Good Kirk” encouraged Spock to be reformist, it worked. Too bad for Earth because the Empire got attacked by the other Alien Races we conquered and now Humans are pushed back to their solar system and will likely to be conquered.
Where there’s life, there’s hope. In this comic, the writers Steven and David Tipton imagine if Jean Luc Picard was an uncompromising badass who is determined to bring the Terran Empire back to its former glory. How does he do this besides being really JACKED? Picard sets out to steal the Galaxy Class Enterprise. This creates a great heist story, but it’s also super fun because it explores all of the old characters from the Next Generation and I mean ALL! There are character that were all but extras in Next Generation that are featured in the background of the book. There are so many interesting takes on our old heroes. Barclay is cunning, Data is experimenting with Borg-technology, and Geordie has his paramour from Next Gen, but she’s an alcoholic. It’s so fun to go down this rabbit hole.
Back to the story, Picard assembles our familiar crew and seizes the Galaxy Class Enterprise for his own. He could just take off and be rich, but he doesn’t. Through some cool maneuvers, Picard decimates the Klingons and Cardassians …..nooooooo not the ones with large posteriors …. the ones with the krinkly heads. Anyway, they go on war rampage and look like they might actually get to restore the Terran Empire!
Happy Horrorthon!!! We are in the thick of it folks. October is happening! We’re all eating things with pumpkin flavor, baseball’s in full swing (pun intended), and we all get into trying something scary.
There are few things that truly scare me as much as clowns do, but I’d rather sit on Bozo’s lap than live one solitary moment in Harrow County. Harrow County is a comic series by Cullen Bunn and Tyler Crook published by Dark Horse. Saying this comic is scary is like writing that Charles Lindbergh dabbled in flying planes. After the first few pages, I was thoroughly creeped out and turned on all the lights in my home.
The story revolves around Emmy, a nearly adult woman, who is discovering that she is not an ordinary farmer’s daughter, but terrifyingly powerful witch. Years earlier, Emma’s “mother” Hester was an evil witch with the powers of Satan. The townsfolk weren’t too fond of all of her child sacrifices and dark arts so they decide to shoot, stab, hang, and burn Emma’s “mother”.
*Slight Spoiler*—- Emma learns that she is the born again version of Hester and not an actual daughter. Emma was born from murder and vengeance and Harrow County is about to reap the whirlwind.
The art of this story is so off-putting and chill-inducing. Their eyes pull you in as if you are one of the townsfolk being judged and co-opted by good or evil. The story has a wide streak of ambiguity; it never allows you to fully see the true good or evil of any the characters after the first five pages. In essence, the characters are real. They are you neighbor, your brother, your sister: imperfect and conflicted. This duality is exemplified by Emma’s only a friend a ghost or “Haint” who is actually bifurcated. One half of the friend acts as Emma’s bodyguard: pure rage that is only muscle akin to the Human Body figures from biology class and the other half of her friend is a kind and scared bag of skin who acts as a guide for Emma. The bifurcated friend is a great visual example of our rage that hides just under the surface of all people.
There are two types of streaming television series: Get a sitter and watch in rapt silence with your SO and friends and Elliptical and/or Hangover Television. Jack Ryan is in the latter category. It’s a solid: NOT BAD. Ok, it was a little weird seeing Jack Ryan (John Krasinski) put Osama Bin Laden’s AK-47 in a Jello Mold, but I thought it was a nice call back. JK!
Jack Ryan has been a staple for nerds who like action for decades. Jack Ryan is a data analyst badass who defeats terrorism and rogue commies, in other words, fictional. He’s been in countless books, films, and video games. The only other character that gets this much media has to use The Force. In this iteration, Carlton Cuse of “Lost” fame takes a crack the characters.
Jack Ryan is a young Marine Vet turned CIA officer with PTSD. He is teamed up with Greer who in the books and previous iterations was a tough talking Admiral with shitty dialogue; whereas, in this version, Greer’s a down and out muslim CIA officer whose career is in decline after killing a Pakistani asset. They are on the hunt for the big bad: Sulieman.
Sulieman is the product of the American intervention in the Lebanese civil war in 1986, which…checks out. He is hell bent on causing all kinds of mayhem in America and abroad. They make a big show about how he was treated badly throughout his life- Boo hoo. I guess it was supposed to make him more human. I thought it made him really really whiny. So what, you didn’t get your dream job that gives you the right to blow everybody up?!
The big question most of my readers have: Did John Krasinski – Jim- have a passable performance as a super spy????? KINDA. He was pretty close at times, but was he held back by some purposely slowed down plot points. I will get to the derpy derp moments later, but really the season should’ve been 6 episodes instead of 8 because there were too many contrivances, which inhibited John’s performance. I have to write that he was in fact believable. I did not know what to expect, but he delivered a good performance.
What they got right:
Sleepless nights with PTSD and drinking too much. They portrayed that spot on. I thought, I’ve had those late nights. Ok, Pass!
The SEAL/Ranger team: I’ve known many Special Operators over the years and they are all real salt of the Earth types. They played those matter of fact tough guys perfectly. Ok, Pass!
The inherent turpitude of civilian government officials: Very good, they’re all presumptive Dirtbaggus Americanus. Ok, Pass!
The director building suspense? Yep, the direction was done quite well. No complaints.
What was so very dumb? NO F#@#!NG Way!!! NFW!!!! NFW!!!
1. They portrayed Jack Ryan as dealing PTSD, giving him pause to shoot his weapon. I get that, BUT he’s still a Marine. There’s a scene where he makes the decision to shoot and misses by a mile just so they could have fight scene later. This is just dumb. Marines are ALL crackshots. If you are in a Marine’s line of fire and he’s got a clear shot, you’re dust. When you see it, you’ll roll your eyes.
2. There’s a terrorist strike by Sulieman and he claims responsibility. They show his face being plastered on all television networks. He’s on tv more than Anderson Cooper. Then, with no face disguise, he’s NEVER recognized. We’re not talking just one time, but FIVE times at least. His face would’ve been burned in everyone’s memory. It was just dumb, lazy, and contrived to keep the villain the in the action.
3. A CIA Officer meets Sulieman’s wife and he just lets her walk away the same day as a major terror attack: NFW! Anyone who said that they knew an Osama equivalent would be sequestered and interrogated immediately, but it was obvious that they needed to pad the plot to squeeze three unnecessary episodes for story arc.
4. There’s a duo who are drone pilots that are just sort of shoehorned into the story for no reason at all. I couldn’t even figure out the message if drones were supposed to be good or bad. I left thinking… Man, drones work really well. Then, one of the drone pilots gets all guilty about a mistargeting incident and flies to Syria because ya know Active Duty Soldiers just get to go anywhere they like on leave…. NFW!!!!!!! Just think about it…we shouldn’t just get to go wherever we like. It’s dangerous for us and could lead to a Soldier getting compromised. NFW!
5. There’s a plot point where a doctor becomes aware of a biological threat and just sends an email. WHAAAA?! She would be calling everyone and their brother to report that because she’s supposed to be smart.
Is it worth watching?
Yes, yes it is. It’s got real problems in terms of story holes, but my hope is that Carlton Cuse learns from this. He can DM me if he likes. I’ll consult or script doctor for a very reasonable rate. Jack Ryan is great for watching on the Elliptical at the gym or if you’re hungover or something. It is NOT at this time get a babysitter and everyone be quiet television, but it is …. fun.
I grew up loving pulpy detective stories of the 40s. Sam Spade and The Thin Man were my heroes from another time. They dealt in visceral reality and tarnished ideals, but still meted justice to the deserving. However, because of the mores of the time period, the more explicit side could only be implied.
“Altered Carbon” takes the Gumshoe genre mixes in the concept of a Ronin (A Japanese samurai who no longer has a liege lord and becomes a sword for hire), has the mystery take place hundreds of years in the future, but still keeps the setting of the Rainy City (Seattle, My Home) and Bay City (Future San Francisco). What results is the greatest pulp detective story that I have ever read. The story touches upon issues of morality and our technology stripping us naked of our humanity.
In the future, we are able to download our memories onto flash drives and re-upload them into “Sleeves” (bodies grown or bought). Crime is punished by you losing your body and putting your consciousness on a server where it will remain for as long as 200+ years, making you return to a body not your own and family scattered in time. We have colonized worlds throughout the galaxy and corporations and the super rich rule us all. The wealthy are able to have unlimited bodies to download into, giving them immortality and total perversion.
Takeshi Kovac is taken out of storage by an extremely wealthy man – Lorenz Bancroft- who is over 300 years old because he wants to find out who “murdered” him. Lorenz has his consciousness saved to a remote server every 48 hours. During the last 48 hours, he was murdered or he killed him self. He doesn’t know who is out to kill him.
Lorenz chooses Kovacs because Kovac’s is a former “Envoy” (hyper-trained marine of the future). His senses are honed to make him a badass Sherlock Holmes!
Kovac’s mission is to dig into the underworld of the future to find the killer. The whodunnit is filled with twists, violence, and the steamiest sex scenes to print. The novel pushes our understanding what makes us human and the Id run riot!
If sex, violence, and mystery doesn’t interest you, keep browsing, but you’re making a mistake.
I’m going to be cautious about spoiling anything in this excellent book, but I will tease some more as to why it should be read.
I thoroughly enjoyed this film!! Why? Because it’s a Dwayne Johnson movie. He’s an actor, a brand, and you know what you’re going to get. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Did it have a couple of slow moments? Yep. Were the characters, especially the villains, one dimensional or 8-Bit? Sure. But, so what? Rampage is fun and sometimes it’s great to take a bath in nostalgia and see some shit blow up.
A Dwayne Johnson movie is really a sub-genre all its very own. I won’t compare it to other movies. His movies are also fun because we just like Dwayne Johnson so much as a Man that we feel like he’s a friend. It becomes reflexive that we hear Dwayne Johnson has a movie out, it’s as if one of our friends just made one. I told a guy at work that I was going to see a Dwayne Johnson movie, he knew exactly what I meant, and he referred to Dwayne Johnson as a National Treasure. Yes, we’re now getting married in the fall and are registered at Pottery Barn.
I played Rampage when I was a wee bairn. In fact, with the help of my friend Robbie, we stayed up all night and destroyed the whole country. Congratulations! I, like every boy in the Y-Generation, was excited for this film. Sidenote: sorry everyone, Millenials are no more, you’ve been folded into Y, but take heart – “Even children get older, I’m gettin older …too.”
An Evil Corporation, run ostensibly by Ivanka Trump and her Generic Trump brother, create a virus that mutate ordinary animals into genetically spliced super-creatures that run amok. That’s it- that’s the plot- and like the video game upon which it was based, Rampage the Film is beautifully Wabi Sabi.
The film begins with The Rock who is closed off from people because after seeing their terrible acts in war and poaching, he just can’t let them in. *sniff* The Rock’s best friend is George- an albino gorilla- who can sign. Soon, the Trump family look alikes’ experiment accidentally infects George, a wolf, a crocodile, and a partridge in a pear tree. The Partridge Monster doesn’t actually destroy anything, but he blatantly re-gifts Christmas presents; therefore, he’s the worst monster of all because he destroys your self-esteem.
George, the wolf, and crocodile get BIGGER, the government – embodied by Jeffrey Dean Morgan- try to stop the monsters, but can’t. Jeffrey becomes an ally of The Rock, helping him along the way with helicopter keys, air strikes, and lending him his edger so The Rock can really make his lawn POP for barbecue season. The Trumps put out a signal to draw the monsters to Chicago, hoping they’ll kill each other off. The Trumps hope that they’ll be able to take a sample of the monster flesh, replicate it, and sell it to whomever. It doesn’t go well. The monsters go nuts. I’m not going to spoil anything. Needless to say, the last 40 minutes of the film are amazingly satisfying.
Congratulations! Dwayne you’ve done it! The Video Game Curse is Broken.
It’s Superbowl Sunday!!! Better yet, it’s The Cloverfield Paradox on Netflix.
This movie is 1 part – Event Horizon, 1 Part – The Thing, and 1 Part – Boring.
We begin with a dying earth and pesky scientists have tried to create a free energy machine innnnnnnn spaaaaaaace. Sounds Legit.
There’s British people talking in traffic and I need closed captioning. The lady in traffic is apparently an astronaut and “Comm Officer”. However, I can’t understand anything she’s saying; so maybe, communications wasn’t the best fit?!
We’re on the space station and they’re trying to do some particle acceleratin’ …woohoo, but something is amiss. The story is really dragging.
Now, there’s nerds, foozball playing, and awkward conversation. Are we sure this is a Space Station and not the Google Campus? I do like that all peoples are represented and they’re all boring. It’s about time that we embraced that most people are boring and even some Netflix films.
They’re about to turn on their Shepherd Accelerator and …… they are making particles, energy, or s’mores? Then, the Shepherd overloads. I’m guessing they forgot to use a surge protector. They get control, but the earth is gone- must’ve left the Earth in their other solar system’s pants. They’re hurtling into empty space.
The crew is starting to act weird. The Russian- I’m going to call him Boris – is playing with his face a lot and we’re getting an Event Horizon vibe mostly because JJ Abrams decided to defile the memory of another one of my favorite films. The steel walls have screaming and they decide to open it….because sure. They reveal a woman fused to wires and the bulkhead who knows the Comm Officer’s name. It’s pretty gross. They try to do some ER work on her and she lives.
Meanwhile….Back on Earth. There’s explosions!!!
Back on the station…
The foozball is playing itself and things are disappearing: gyroscopes, worms, and my time. Boris has a worm creature in his head and it’s doing gross things to his eyeball. Boris starts talking to himself and the voices in his head ask him to make a 3d printed gun. Boris pulls the 3d printed gun on crewmates and dies with hundreds of worms shooting out of him.
The lady they found in the bulkhead – Mina – wakes up. She thinks that she was on the station the whole time. Mina accuses Schmidt of sabotage. For scientists, they are unimpressive. These dopes haven’t figured out that they’re in another dimension?! Did they get their PhDs from University of Phoenix?! They lock Schmidt up for sabotage and proceed to make bad choices.
Back on earth…. More explosions, but now there are screaming kids.
Back on the station: The ship’s Irish janitor is doing repairs and his arm gets detached. The ship let’s Schmidt out of the airlock and he’s being chased by the Irishman’s arm. The arm writes them a letter….really. It tells them to cut Boris’ corpse open. They find the gyroscope inside Boris. The comms come back and their current reality is pretty bad. They watch CNN and learn that they’ve traveled to Another Dimension …. Another Dimension … Don’t … you tell me to smile….Interplanetary. In this dimension, there’s World War III going on and everybody has goatees. They decide to turn on the Shepherd machine again and hopefully not attract a herd of sheep as well.
Back on earth, the Comm Officer’s husband has rescued a random kid and went to a bomb shelter.
Back on the Station: Tam figures out that condensation was messing with their calculations, but then she drowns….somehow. In the alternate dimension, Eva’s kids are alive. In the “Good Dimension” Eva apparently installed some bad track lighting and killed everyone, but in this “Evil Dimension” – they’re fine because she used lamps I suppose. Eva decides to go back to warn her twin not to use track lighting…..ever. I’ve noticed that they do A LOT of caulking in this movie to exciting music, but it’s still a guy caulking. There’s another malfunction and half the ship explodes.
The crew decides that they need to de-couple the broken part of the station, engendering a long scene of attempted space station repair. It was really slow AND they had this crazy 8-4pm window to do it. Then, the captain sacrifices himself to do it because why not?
Eva orders that they turn on the shepherd. All looks well, but Mina steals the gun and starts shooting. She needs the “firing key” for some reason. Presumably, the Shepherd will create energy, but that really makes no sense because it doesn’t create energy as much as derivative B-Movies. Mina manages to kill Eva in the final scene Aliens style and it’s mildly entertaining.
Schmidt lives and they start the Shepherd again, but first she warns her evil twin not to use Track Lighting and to give the ball to Marshawn Lynch in the 2015 Super Bowl. They see earth again- the good earth and they have a stable power beam. Eva’s husband doesnt want them to come back because—-monsters. Then, as the escape pod enters the atmosphere, we see a monster. So, they unleashed monsters and NBC’s Whitney.
This was a great bad movie, which is what JJ Abrams can do in his sleep. I would watch this if I had the flu or was in a B-movie place.
And, of course, we have to include Christopher Walken!
And here’s the poem, in all its glory. Read it aloud in your own voice!
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore— While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door. “’Tis some visitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door— Only this and nothing more.”
Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December; And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor. Eagerly I wished the morrow;—vainly I had sought to borrow From my books surcease of sorrow—sorrow for the lost Lenore— For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore— Nameless here for evermore.
And the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each purple curtain Thrilled me—filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before; So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating “’Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door— Some late visiter entreating entrance at my chamber door;— This it is and nothing more.”
Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer, “Sir,” said I, “or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore; But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping, And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door, That I scarce was sure I heard you”—here I opened wide the door;— Darkness there and nothing more.
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing, Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before; But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token, And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, “Lenore?” This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, “Lenore!”— Merely this and nothing more.
Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning, Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before. “Surely,” said I, “surely that is something at my window lattice; Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore— Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;— ’Tis the wind and nothing more!”
Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter, In there stepped a stately Raven of the saintly days of yore; Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he; But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door— Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door— Perched, and sat, and nothing more.
Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling, By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore, “Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,” I said, “art sure no craven, Ghastly grim and ancient Raven wandering from the Nightly shore— Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night’s Plutonian shore!” Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”
Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly, Though its answer little meaning—little relevancy bore; For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door— Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door, With such name as “Nevermore.”
But the Raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour. Nothing farther then he uttered—not a feather then he fluttered— Till I scarcely more than muttered “Other friends have flown before— On the morrow he will leave me, as my Hopes have flown before.” Then the bird said “Nevermore.”
Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken, “Doubtless,” said I, “what it utters is its only stock and store Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore— Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore Of ‘Never—nevermore’.”
But the Raven still beguiling all my fancy into smiling, Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door; Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore— What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore Meant in croaking “Nevermore.”
This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom’s core; This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining On the cushion’s velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o’er, But whose velvet-violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o’er, She shall press, ah, nevermore!
Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor. “Wretch,” I cried, “thy God hath lent thee—by these angels he hath sent thee Respite—respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore; Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!” Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”
“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil!—prophet still, if bird or devil!— Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore, Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted— On this home by Horror haunted—tell me truly, I implore— Is there—is there balm in Gilead?—tell me—tell me, I implore!” Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”
“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil!—prophet still, if bird or devil! By that Heaven that bends above us—by that God we both adore— Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn, It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore— Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore.” Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”
“Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!” I shrieked, upstarting— “Get thee back into the tempest and the Night’s Plutonian shore! Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken! Leave my loneliness unbroken!—quit the bust above my door! Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!” Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”
And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door; And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon’s that is dreaming, And the lamp-light o’er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor; And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor Shall be lifted—nevermore!
Through the Shattered Lens 