Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 5.8 “Hard Knocks”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Switek takes center stage!

Episode 5.8 “Hard Knocks”

(Dir by Vern Gillum, originally aired on January 20th, 1989)

Stan Switek has a gambling problem!

That’s right.  The lovable Stan Switek, played by Michael Talbott, finally gets to be the center of another episode and it’s a pretty dark one.  It’s not as dark as the one where Stan discovered that his partner and best friend had been given a heroin overdose but it’s still pretty depressing.

There are a lot of things that lead to Switek becoming both an alcoholic and a gambling addict.  The death of Larry Zito still haunts him.  The job haunts him.  The fact that he’s continually stuck in “the black box,” and doing surveillance on terrible people haunts him.  At the start of the episode, he learns that he’s been turned down for a promotion and it will be another two years before he can apply again.  Castillo says it’s about money.  The Miami PD doesn’t have the money to pay Switek a sergeant’s salary.  “You’re the best at what you do,” Castillo tells Switek.  That’s of little help.

Switek is best friends with Mac Mulhern (Jordan Clarke), the father of a hotshot college quarterback named Kevin Mulhern (Richard Joseph Paul).  When Switek’s former bookie (Ismael “East” Carlo) is murdered by Goodman (Richard Jenkins, who apparently always looked like he was in his late 50s, even 40 years ago), Goodman orders Switek to tell Kevin to throw his upcoming game.  In order to make sure that it happens, Goodman kidnaps Mac and threatens to kill him.

Switek snaps.  Switek sets out to get his own justice against Goodman and to rescue Mac.  Fortunately, Crockett and Tubbs realize what’s happening and they show up in time to help Switek out.  Once Goodman is dead and Mac is free, Kevin is able to win the game.

Later, Crockett confronts Switek.  He says that Switek’s name is all over Goodman’s books.  What’s Crockett going to do?  Given that Crockett spent months as Miami’s biggest drug lord, I’m not sure that Crockett is in a position to judge anyone.  Fortunately, Crockett seems to understand that as well.  Crockett hands the evidence over to Switek and promises to keep quiet.  Switek — who has spent almost the entire series as comedic relief — breaks down and starts to cry.

That’s one dark episode!  It’s also a very well-done episode.  Michael Talbott gave an excellent performance as Switek, revealing the character’s dark side while still remaining true to who Switek has been since the series began.  Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas didn’t do much in this episode but the final scene between Switek and Crockett was wonderfully acted by both Talbott and Johnson.

This was a good episode but I’m worried about Switek now.  I hope everything works out because there’s only a few episodes left!

Speaking of which, Retro Television Review will be going on break for the holidays at the end of this week. Miami Vice will return on January 5th!

The Holidays On The Lens: The Greatest Store In The World (dir by Jane Prowse)


Here to help you get in the holiday spirit, we’ve got a British film from 1999!

The Greatest Store In The World tells the story of a single mother and her two daughters.  When the film begins, they’re living in a van but, after the van catches on fire, they upgrade things by moving into a luxurious London department store.  Along with coming together as a family and celebrating the holidays, they also thwart an attempt to rob the store.  It’s a good-natured little movie, one that reminds the viewer of how fun the world once was.  It was filmed in Harrods, though the name itself is not actually uttered in the film.  Fans of Doctor Who will want to keep an eye out for Peter Capaldi while fans of larger-than-life actors will be happy to see the great Brian Blessed.

(I should admit that, when I was little and my family was constantly moving from one state to another and I was always having to say goodbye to whatever new friends I had made, I used to fantasize about living in a big mall.  Perhaps that’s one reason why this sweet-natured film brought a tear to my mismatched eyes.)

Enjoy!

Join #MondayMania For Psycho Daughter!


Hi, everyone!  Tonight, on twitter, I will be hosting one of my favorite films for #MondayMania!  Join us for 2018’s Psycho Daughter!

(Psycho Daughter was originally broadcast as The Wrong Daughter but the title was later changed to avoid confusing with the Vivica A. Fox “Wrong” series.)

You can find the movie on Prime and then you can join us on twitter at 9 pm central time!  (That’s 10 pm for you folks on the East Coast.)  See you then!

Song of the Day: Crown On The Ground (performed by Sleigh Bells)


I could offer up a lot of reasons why Sleigh Bells’ Crown On The Ground is today’s song of the day.

I could say that it’s because the start of the Holiday Season is upon us and what better time to feature a song performed by Sleigh Bells.

But, ultimately, the main and most important reason is that I just happen to like the song.

4 Shots From 4 Christmas Films


4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking.

Happy holidays!

Let’s get December started with….

4 Shots From 4 Christmas Films

The Godfather (1972, dir by Francis Ford Coppola, DP: Gordon Willis)

Lethal Weapon (1987, dir by Richard Donner, DP: Stephen Goldblatt)

Die Hard (1988, dir by John McTiernan, DP: Jan de Bont)

Die Hard 2 (1990, dir by Renny Harlin, DP: Oliver Wood)

Monday Live Tweet Alert: Join Us for A Christmas Heist!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in hosting a few weekly live tweets on twitter and occasionally Mastodon.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of Mastodon’s #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We snark our way through it.

Tonight, for #MondayActionMovie, the film will be A Christmas Heist!

If you want to join this watch party, just hop onto Mastodon, pull up A Christmas Heist on YouTube or Tubi, start the movie at 8 pm et, and use the #MondayActionMovie hashtag!

Enjoy!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 1.5 “Screech’s Woman”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime and Tubi!

This week, Zach becomes Bambi and …. oh, you know the story.

Episode 1.5 “Screech’s Woman”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on September 16th, 1989)

Screech isn’t working on Zach’s science project because he’s depressed about not having a girlfriend.  Screech describes himself as being “snakespit.”  That’s …. that’s really sad, to be honest.  Zach attempts to teach Screech how to be cool.  He attempts to get Jessie to go out with him.  Finally, Zach….

Oh, you know what Zach does.  If you’re reading this review, you’ve undoubtedly seen Saved By The Bell in syndication and you know that this is one of those episodes that seemed to air constantly.  Zach calls up Screech and pretends to be Bambi.  When Screech demands to meet Bambi personally, Zach puts on one of Jessie’s dresses, a wig, sunglasses, and he shaves his legs.  Zach/Bambi shows up at the Max and tells Screech that, if they’re going to date, Screech is going to have to agree to no longer hang out with Zach.  A despondent Screech says that he can’t betray his best friend.

Here’s the thing:

Even with the wig and the dress and the whispery voice, Zach is in no way convincing as Bambi.  He’s obviously Zach, just wearing a wig and speaking in a slightly higher register.  The fact that Screech, Kelly, and Slater are all fooled (albeit only temporarily in Slater’s case) can only lead me to suspect that everyone on this show is an idiot.  Saved By The Bell always demands a certain suspension of disbelief but this episode really took it to the limit.  (Or pushed it to the Max, if you want to show respect to that tacky place.)

This episode really made me feel sorry for both Screech and Dustin Diamond and that’s saying something how annoying I found both Screech and the actor playing him to be.  Diamond was only 11 when he was cast on Good Morning Miss Bliss.  In this episode, he’s 12 and he looks and comes across as being even younger.  And yet, he’s acting opposite people who were a few years older and, by teen standards, considerably more mature.  (In teen years, there’s a huge gulf between 12 and 15.)  From the minute he shows up in this episode, Screech is out-of-place.  That may have worked for Screech’s character but it also probably explains why Diamond himself never really seemed to grow up and never seemed to get over feeling like an outsider on the set.

Wow, this episode was depressing.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 11/23/25 — 11/29/25


A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (Apple TV+)

Erin and I watched this on Tuesday.  It’s one of our traditions!  I swear, though, Peppermint Patty is so mean in this one.  And yet, after all that he’s had to put up with, Charlie Brown still invites everyone to come to his grandmother’s house for Thanksgiving dinner.  What a guy!  You can read Erin’s thoughts here.

Saved By The Bell: The New Class (Prime)

Finally!  The version of Saved By The Bell that I grew up with is available on Prime!  I watched a few episodes on Friday and …. well, they weren’t very good.  But maybe I just need to adjust my expectations.  I look forward to watching all seven seasons!