It’s always kind of nice when the old folks get to rock. I also appreciate any group that can poke fun at itself. That’s actually a pretty rare thing nowadays.
Enjoy!
Author Archives: Lisa Marie Bowman
Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 3.12 “Oh Lucky Man!”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!
It’s time to work at another youth center!
Episode 3.12 “Oh Lucky Man!”
(Dir by Dan Gordon, originally aired on December 10th, 1986)
Jonathan and Mark are working at a youth center …. again!
Don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing wrong with Jonathan and Mark working at a youth center. From what I’ve seen of this show, Michael Landon seemed to have a natural rapport with kids and Victor French’s grouchiness was always put to good use whenever he had to deal with someone younger. It’s just hard not to notice that Jonathan and Mark seemed to go to several youth centers each episode and they almost always dealt with exact same issue. Some kid is angry or insecure. He may not have a father in his life. Jonathan helps the kid admit his anger and learn to trust whoever wanted to adopt him. Usually, this seemed to involve helping the kid find the courage to play a sport or something similar.
In this episode, the youth center is run by an ex-con named Jake (Thalmus Rasulal). Mark was the one who arrested Jake and sent him to prison but Jake so impressed Mark with how he turned his life around that Mark ended up testifying in favor of giving Jake parole. Jake opened up a youth center to “keep the kids out of the gangs.” And again, there’s nothing wrong with that. I admire anyone who comes out of prison and attempts to do something good for their community. One of the truly shameful things about our justice system is that it’s been forgotten that prison is meant to rehabilitate. We focus so much on punishment that we end up forgetting that we’re supposed to be a nation built on second chances. Jake has made something out of himself and now, he’s giving back.
(And yes, that is your When Did Lisa Marie Become A Bleeding Heart? moment of the week,)
The problem is that his youth center desperately needs money. It looks like everything is going to be alright when Mark wins $5,000,000 while taking the kids out for lunch. Mark plans to give the money to the youth center. He also plans to be there for a troubled kid named Brady (Ian Michael Giatti). But when Mark is approached by Nina Van Slyke (Shannon Tweed), those plans change. Nina claims to be the head of a charity and she convinces Mark that her charity could do a lot more good with the money than the youth center. Mark finds himself falling in love with Nina and he even tells Jonathan that they’re partnership might be over. However, Nina is actually a con artist who just wants to take Mark’s money for herself.
Will Mark see the error of his ways? Of course! And he’ll apologize to Brady for missing Brady’s big game and he’ll keep the youth center open by giving the money to Jake. This is Highway to Heaven. There’s not a cynical note to be found in this show.
That said, this episode was a bit uneven with the soap opera-like scenes of Nina and her partner (Roy Thinnes) plotting to cheat Mark never gelling with the more earnest scenes of Jonathan helping out at the youth center. As always, this episode was well-intentioned and about as sincere as you can get. The strength of this show is that it’s so sincere. But Shannon Tweed felt like she was acting in a totally different show from Highway to Heaven. As a result, this episode never quite came together as a cohesive unit.
Oh well. At least Brady’s going to get a family!
Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 2.1 “Race Your Dream”
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!
It’s the second season but I’m too lazy to change the graphic. Sorry, not sorry.
Today we begin season 2 of the bane of my existence.
Episode 2.1 “Race Your Dream”
(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on October 9th, 1999)
The second season of Malibu CA starts with a few changes.
It’s firmly established that Scott and Jason are no longer in high school so I guess they graduated and, instead of going to college, they’re still working as busboys at their Dad’s restaurant. I don’t know what type of message that sends but it’s probably not a good one. (Also, I guess the show decided to forget about Scott having a job as a sportscaster.)
Murray is now working at the restaurant as well.
Priscilla Inga Taylor has officially joined the cast. Gina May is no longer on the show. Sam actually went to college after graduating.
Stads is still on the show and somehow, she’s even bitchier than usual in this episode. And when I say “bitchy,’ I don’t mean that she’s an empowering diva who won’t let anyone stand in her way. I mean that she’s whiny and in a bad mood for now particular reason.
Lisa Jones (Marquita Terry) is a medical student who gets a job as a waitress at the restaurant. You’d think I would relate to her since we share the same name but nope. During her job interview, she specifically points out that no one else at the restaurant is doing a good job. It’s true but still kind of rude. Admittedly, I’ve never had to actually interview for a job but it seems like criticizing the place where you want to work would be a mistake. That’s especially true if you’re interviewing for a job that literally thousands of other people could do.
Scott has a crush on Lisa. Lisa thinks Scott is a slacker. Jason lies and says that Scott is in training for the U.S. Olympic try-outs. WHAT!? That’s what he came up with! Maybe he could point out that Scott had a job as a sportscaster. Or maybe he could reveal that Scott is the assistant manager of the restaurant. Instead, he said that Scott is trying out for the OLYMPIC SWIM TEAM! SERIOUSLY, LET THAT SINK IN!
Of course, Saved By The Bell: The New Class had an entire season where everyone on the show was a member of the swim team so maybe Peter Engel just had a thing for swimming.
Lisa is friends with someone who actually is a competitive swimmer. She introduced him to Scott. Scott gets challenged to a race. Scott agrees. He loses but only barely because …. WHAT!? SCOTT IS SWIMMING AGAINST AN OLYMPIC ATHLETE! What the Hell was wrong with our Olympic team in the 90s that a member of it could nearly get beaten by some Malibu beach bum? WHAT THE HELL!?
THE SHOW IS STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID MINDS!
Anyway, Lisa is impressed that Scott tried. And Scott is told that there’s an outside chance that he actually could make the Olympics if he starts training….
SERIOUSLY, THIS IS SO STUPID! Not even One World was this stupid! Not even Hang Time had the audacity to suggest its characters were going to magically make the Olympic team. (It is true that Scott is revealed to have been a good swimmer in high school. I’m a good dancer. It still doesn’t mean I’m joining The Paris Opera Ballet anytime soon.)
So, basically, season two is going to be the same as season one.
Song of the Day: The Girl Who Invented Rock and Roll by Mamie Van Doren
Today, the Shattered Lens wishes a happy 94th birthday to actress and singer, Mamie Van Doren! Here she is performing today’s song of the day, The Girl Who Invented Rock and Roll!
This scene is from 1958’s Teacher’s Pet.
Scenes That I Love: Ronald Reagan in Kings Row
Today’s scene that I love features future President Ronald Reagan, giving what he considered to be his best performance in 1942’s Kings Row. He liked one of the lines in this scene so much that he used it as the title for autobiography.
On what would have been Ronald Reagan’s 114th birthday, here is today’s scene that I love.
4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Francois Truffaut Edition
4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!
Today, on what would have been his 93rd birthday, TSL pays tribute to the great Francois Truffaut. No one captured the act of falling in love in life, people, and cinema with the skill, sensitivity, and humor of Francois Truffaut. It’s time for….
4 Shots From 4 Francois Truffaut Films
The 400 Blows (1959, dir by François Truffaut, DP: Henri Decae)
Shoot the Piano Player (1960, dir by François Truffaut, DP: Raoul Coutard)
The Story of Adele H. (1975, dir by Francois Truffaut, DP: Nestor Almendros)
The Last Metro (1980, dir by François Truffaut, DP: Nestor Alemndros)
Music Video Of The Day: you’re like me by Shower Curtain (2024, dir by ????)
Today’s music video of the day is a rather moody piece of nightlife from Shower Curtain. Watching this video really took me back to the day when they was nothing better than going out at one in the morning and being jaded.
Enjoy!
Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.8 “Shave and a Haircut, Two Bites”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.
Who needs a haircut?
(What is it with today’s reviews and hair?)
Episode 3.8 “Shave and a Haircut, Two Bites”
(Dir by John Strysik, originally aired on November 18th, 1990)
Tom (played by a young Matt LeBlanc) stands in front of an old timey barbershop and remembers when he was a teenager and he learned the truth about the place. His friend, Kevin (Wil Wheaton), lived across the street from the barbershop and was convinced that the two elderly barbers who owned the place were actually vampires. Kevin pointed out the customers were going inside with big jars of blood and then coming with little jars of blood. Tommy remained skeptical. I’m not sure why. Jars of blood are a HUGE red flag. Still, Tommy warned Kevin that if he continued to follow his vampire theory, he would probably get kicked out of all of his honors classes. That was a risk that Kevin was willing to take.
Tommy and Kevin snuck into the barbershop one night and searched for evidence of vampires. Kevin was serious while Tommy treated the whole thing as just being a big joke. They were caught by the two barbers, Mr. Innes (John O’Leary) and Dr. D’Onofrio (Al Mancini), who revealed that they were not vampires. Instead, they were just two guys who worshipped a giant slug creature who lived in the basement. The slug creature stayed alive by drinking the blood that was brought into the barbershop. In return, it offered up a smaller amount of its blood for the donors to drink. The blood apparently allowed to people to live for a very long time. So, I guess they were vampires but not really.
In the present, Tom gets a shave and a haircut and allows Kevin to draw some of his blood. Then Kevin gets in the barber chair and Tom picks up the razor blade. They both have noticeable scars on their neck.
This was an odd episode. It was full of atmosphere and Tom’s voice over contributed to the creepy vibe. It was generally well-acted. Not even Wil Wheaton was too annoying. The premise of the episode was intriguing but the episode’s pay-off fell a little flat. I was happy that the show did something other than vampires but the weird slug creature really wasn’t that compelling either. It felt like something out a Lovecraft short story but Lovecraft’s style of horror always works better when it’s something that the reader has to imagine as opposed to actually seeing. This episode played out like an odd dream. Even the ending feels like a fragment from a bigger narrative that has been lost to time.
Overall, though, I liked this episode and I appreciated the strange atmosphere. Monsters was always the most fun when it was weird and this episode was definitely that.
Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 5.16 “Green, But Not Jolly/Past Perfect Love/Instant Family”
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!
This week, Julie wears a wig!
Episode 5.16 “Green, But Not Jolly/Past Perfect Love/Instant Family”
(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on January 30th, 1982)
“Where’s Julie?” Captain Stubing demands and he’s got good reason. The Love Boat is only a few minutes away from setting sail. The passengers are checking in and being given directions to their cabins. And yet, Julie McCoy — the cruise director — is nowhere to be seen!
Fire him, Captain! Seriously, she’s been erratic this entire season and she seems to have a permanent cold so it’s time to get a new cruise director.
Julie shows up at the last minute. She reveals that she’s late because she went to see her hair dresser. And now, she’s a platinum blonde! She says that she’s proud of her new look. The rest of the crew pretends to like it. As for those of us watching, it’s hard not to notice that Julie is actually just wearing a very obvious wig.
Watching this episode, I couldn’t help but think about the fact that, according to a documentary about the show that I recently watched on Tubi, Lauren Tewes was dealing with a fairly serious cocaine problem during the fifth season. I don’t say that suggest anything bad about Lauren Tewes. From what I’ve read, cocaine was everywhere in the 80s and she’s hardly the only performer from the time to get into trouble with it. (Tewes, it should be noted, went to rehab and cleaned herself up.) Instead, I point that out because a lot of Julie’s actions during the fifth season seem as if they’re best explained by Julie being under the influence. The moodiness, the impulsivity, the fact that she suddenly doesn’t seem to be all that focused on her job, I think Julie had a problem! Her hair isn’t platinum blonde. It’s cocaine white!
Gopher eventually works up the courage to tell her that her new hair color is not flattering. (And, to be honest, he’s right.) Gopher gives her some hair dye that he picked up — uh oh! — and Julie uses it — JULIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? — and she wakes up the next morning with green hair. Julie spends the rest of the cruise in her cabin while the rest of the crew feels guilty. Even Vicki has a hard time talking to Julie with her green hair. Then the rest of the cruse decides to die their hair green in solidarity with Julie, just to discover hat Julie’s hair has gone back to its natural color….
Yeah, it’s silly but I kind of enjoyed the storyline. I like stories about the crew and the members of the cast had enough chemistry that they could even carry a story as silly as this one. They’re a fun group to watch.
As for the other two stories, Lynda Day George boards the ship with her hyperactive son (a young Corey Feldman). She meets a high school coach (John Philip Law) who is not scared by her son. This was a predictable story but I’m a horror fan and an Italian movie fan so seeing George, Feldman, and Law interacting made up for any narrative flaws.
The third story starred Bert Convy and Tanya Roberts and it was about reincarnation. I don’t believe reincarnation, mostly because people who claim to remember their past lives never remember anything boring. Instead, they always remember being members of French royalty or the mistress of a Spanish pirate. As for this story, Convy lies and tries to convince Roberts that they were lovers in a past life. But then he has black-and-white visions of a chandelier falling on Roberts. Maybe they were once lovers at another time! Honestly, who cares?
This was an above average cruise. I’m glad Julie finally took off that wig.
Scenes That I Love: The Tiger Scene From Manhunter
Since today is Michael Mann’s birthday, today’s scene that I love comes from his 1986 film, Manhunter.
In this scene, a blind woman (played by Joan Allen) pets a sedated tiger while her new boyfriend (Tom Noonan) watches. This would actually be a pretty romantic scene if not for the fact that her boyfriend is also a homicidal maniac. This is a scene that, when you watch the film, seems to come out of nowhere but, when you look back, you realize it was one of the key moments in the narrative. While the killer watches the woman who represents a possible redemption embrace another predator, the profiler played by William Petersen continues his way into the killer’s tortured psyche.
This scene is Michael Mann at his best.
Through the Shattered Lens 