Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 3.15 “Christmas Watch”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

Merry Christmas!

Episode 3.15  “Christmas Watch”

(Dir by Phil Bondelli, originally aired on December 15th, 1979)

It’s Christmas in Los Angeles!  Bob (Don Reid) and Alice Piermont (Pamela Susan Shoop) are a married couple who drive around in a blue van and rob people.  They steal a 15 century bell from an orphanage!  How can the orphans have a merry Christmas without their bell!?

Don’t worry, Ponch is on the case!  Ponch will not only find their bell but he’ll date their teacher as well.  Of course, Ponch is feeling a little down because his family is in Chicago.  But then his mother (Anna Navarro) shows up and, in a rare nod to continuity from this show, his mother is played by the same actress who played her the last time that she came down to Los Angeles.  Ponch not only get to spend time with his mother but he also gets a boost when a businessman who was earlier cited for driving while intoxicated shows up at the station so that he can thank Ponch in person.  The lesson this Christmas?  Ponch can do no wrong.

The thieving couple is caught after the are involved in a accident and, instead of waiting for the police to arrive, they just slip a few thousand to the other driver and then try to escape.  No such luck.  They are captured and the kids get back their bell.  Merry Christmas to all, except for the couple going to jail.

This was a typical episode of CHiPs, in which the California sun continued to shine while everyone celebrated Christmas.  There were a few decent chases and some nice shots of the local scenery.  In the end, Ponch did everything right and got a date.  Merry Christmas!  It wasn’t a bad episode, especially if you’re a fan of Erik Estrada.  Larry Wilcox fans will probably be a little disappointed in how little there was for him to do.  It’s the holidays and CHiPs is all about Ponch.

 

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.23 “Everybody’s In Show Business”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Crockett and Tubbs get involved in a theft and a theatrical troupe.

Episode 3.23 “Everybody’s In Show Business”

(Dir by Richard Compton, originally aired on May 1st, 1987)

The theft of a valuable briefcase that belonged to drug lord Don Gallego (Paul Calderon) leads the Vice Squad to Mikey (Michael Carmine), an ex-con who is now a published poet and runs his own theater group specifically for people who have just gotten out of prison.  Unfortunately, Mikey has once again started using drugs (“Once a junkie, always a junkie,” Tubbs scornfully says) and he desperately needs the money that he can make by selling the briefcase back to Gallego.  Gallego, for his part, will do anything to get that briefcase back.

This episode had a few good things going for it.  Paul Calderon gave a strong performance as Don Gallego, a ruthless drug lord who dispenses threats and violence with style.  (Calderon was also in King of New York as the untrustworthy Joey D. and he played the bartender, English Bob, in Pulp Fiction.  Reportedly, Calderon was the second choice for the role of Jules Winnfield.)  Mikey’s young brother is played by Benicio Del Toro and, while Del Toro doesn’t really get to do much in this episode, his appearance continues Miami Vice‘s tradition of featuring future stars amongst its supporting cast.

That said, Michael Carmine’s performance as Mikey didn’t really work for me.  Mikey was meant to be wild, charismatic, and touched with a hint of genius but Carmine overacts to such an extent that it becomes impossible to take Mikey seriously as any of those three things.  A scene where he portrays his version of Elvis is meant to be a showstopper but it just left me cringing.  Sonny, somewhat uncharacteristically, is portrayed as being an admirer of Mikey’s poetry.  (I thought Tubbs was supposed to be the sensitive one.)  Unfortunately, the poetry that we hear doesn’t sound that impressive.  Sonny has been portrayed as being such a cynic in the past that it’s hard to buy the idea that he would be so moved by Mikey.  If anything, it almost feels as if Sonny and Tubbs have switched roles in this episode.  Usually, Tubbs is the one who isn’t cynical enough.

The episode ends on something of an off-note, with Mikey apparently being near death but somehow managing to escape the hospital after he’s visited by Crockett and Tubbs.  This is the sort of thing that would perhaps have worked if Mikey was a recurring character.  If they had brought back Noogie and had him as the poetry-writing junkie in over his head, this episode probably would have worked.  But we don’t really know Mikey and, from what we see of him, he comes across as being a bit of a jerk.  So, what do we care if he gets in trouble?

Next week, season 3 comes to an end!

Join #MondayMuggers For THE DELTA FORCE!


Hi, everyone!  Guess is who is guest hosting the #MondayMuggers live tweet tonight?  That’s right …. me!

Tonight’s movie will be The Delta Force (1986), starring Chuck Norris, Lee Marvin, Robert Forster, George Kennedy, Robert Vaughn, Steven James, Hanna Schygulla, Shelley Winters, Martin Balsam, Bo Svenson, Joey Bishop, Susan Strasberg, Kim Delaney …. well, you get the idea.  There’s a lot of people in this movie!  Jedadiah Leland swears that this is the greatest film ever made.  We’ll find out tonight!

You can find the movie on Prime and then you can join us on twitter at 9 pm central time!  (That’s 10 pm for you folks on the East Coast.)  See you then!

Monday Live Tweet Alert: Join Us for Command 5


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in hosting a few weekly live tweets on twitter and occasion ally Mastodon.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of Mastodon’s #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We snark our way through it.

Tonight, for #MondayActionMovie, the film will be 1985’s Command 5!

It should make for a night of fun viewing and I invite all of you to join in.  If you want to join the live tweets, just hop onto Mastodon, pull up Command 5 on YouTube, start the movie at 8 pm et, and use the #MondayActionMovie hashtag!

Enjoy!

The Eric Roberts Collection: Night Night (dir by Niki Koss)


April Davis (Brenna D’Amico) has just inherited a small fortune and she’s got a wonderful boyfriend named Robert.  Plus, she lives in Texas!  Her life is going wonderfully!  But then, a terrible car accident leaves her in a five-month coma.  When she finally awakens, she discovers that the people in the other car — a mother and her children — were killed in the accident.  Because she had a few drinks before she got behind the wheel and she was texting with her boyfriend while driving, she is now being investigated for vehicular manslaughter.

April is taken home by Robert (Nick Marini) but it turns out that things have changed.  As Robert explains it, April was in a coma for five months so he had to handle things until she woke up.  As a result, he now has a key to the house.  He bought her a new phone to replace the one that was taken by the police.  He bought her a new monitor for her computer.  Robert’s been on top of everything!  What a great guy …. except, there seems to be something different about Robert as well.  He’s angrier than April remembered and he’s controlling.  He says it’s for April’s own good but who knows for sure?  April starts to have strange dreams and nightmares and soon, she’s wondering what’s real and what isn’t.

Released in 2021 and filmed in the lovely town of Corsicana, Texas, Night Night is an effectively dream-like thriller, one that features a good lead performance from Brenna D’Amico and a plot that’s full of twists and turns.  Despite the low budget, director Niki Koss does a good job of creating a properly ominous atmosphere.  This film really took me by surprise.  I was mostly watching because Eric Roberts was in it but the film’s story drew me in pretty quickly.

As for Eric Roberts, this is one of his one-scene wonders.  He plays Dr. Nelson and gives April an update on her condition after she awakens.  The late Tony Todd also makes an appearance in this film, playing April’s attorney.  Neither role is big but the film itself works so well that it doesn’t matter that neither Roberts nor Todd play particularly prominent roles.  This was a good, independent thriller.  Give it a chance.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

  1. Star 80 (1983)
  2. Runaway Train (1985)
  3. Blood Red (1989)
  4. The Ambulance (1990)
  5. The Lost Capone (1990)
  6. Love, Cheat, & Steal (1993)
  7. Voyage (1993)
  8. Love Is A Gun (1994)
  9. Sensation (1994)
  10. Dark Angel (1996)
  11. Doctor Who (1996)
  12. Most Wanted (1997)
  13. Mercy Streets (2000)
  14. Wolves of Wall Street (2002)
  15. Mr. Brightside (2004)
  16. Six: The Mark Unleased (2004)
  17. Hey You (2006)
  18. Amazing Racer (2009)
  19. In The Blink of an Eye (2009)
  20. Bed & Breakfast (2010)
  21. Enemies Among Us (2010)
  22. The Expendables (2010) 
  23. Sharktopus (2010)
  24. Beyond The Trophy (2012)
  25. The Dead Want Women (2012)
  26. Deadline (2012)
  27. The Mark (2012)
  28. Miss Atomic Bomb (2012)
  29. Bonnie And Clyde: Justified (2013)
  30. Lovelace (2013)
  31. The Mark: Redemption (2013)
  32. Self-Storage (2013)
  33. A Talking Cat!?! (2013)
  34. This Is Our Time (2013)
  35. Inherent Vice (2014)
  36. Road to the Open (2014)
  37. Rumors of War (2014)
  38. Amityville Death House (2015)
  39. A Fatal Obsession (2015)
  40. Stalked By My Doctor (2015)
  41. Enemy Within (2016)
  42. Joker’s Poltergeist (2016)
  43. Prayer Never Fails (2016)
  44. Stalked By My Doctor: The Return (2016)
  45. The Wrong Roommate (2016)
  46. Dark Image (2017)
  47. Black Wake (2018)
  48. Frank and Ava (2018)
  49. Stalked By My Doctor: Patient’s Revenge (2018)
  50. Clinton Island (2019)
  51. Monster Island (2019)
  52. The Reliant (2019)
  53. The Savant (2019)
  54. Seven Deadly Sins (2019)
  55. Stalked By My Doctor: A Sleepwalker’s Nightmare (2019)
  56. The Wrong Mommy (2019)
  57. Exodus of a Prodigal Son (2020)
  58. Free Lunch Express (2020)
  59. Her Deadly Groom (2020)
  60. Top Gunner (2020)
  61. Deadly Nightshade (2021)
  62. The Elevator (2021)
  63. Just What The Doctor Ordered (2021)
  64. Killer Advice (2021)
  65. The Poltergeist Diaries (2021)
  66. The Rebels of PT-218 (2021)
  67. A Town Called Parable (2021)
  68. Bleach (2022)
  69. My Dinner With Eric (2022)
  70. Aftermath (2024)
  71. Devil’s Knight (2024)
  72. The Wrong Life Coach (2024)
  73. When It Rains In L.A. (2025)

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Francis Ford Coppola Edition


4 (or more) Shots From 4 (or more) Films is just what it says it is, 4 (or more) shots from 4 (or more) of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 (or more) Shots From 4 (or more) Films lets the visuals do the talking.

Today is Francis Ford Coppola’s birthday! Coppola is a bit of a controversial figure among some film scholars. While everyone agrees that, with the first two Godfathers, he directed two of the greatest films of all time (and some people would include Apocalypse Now on that list as well) and that he was one of the most important directors of the 70s, his post-Apocalypse Now career is often held up as a cautionary tale. Some say that Coppola’s career suffered because of his own excessive behavior and spending. Others argue that he was treated unfairly by a film industry that resented his refusal to compromise his vision and ambitions. Personally, my natural instinct is to always side with the artist over the executives and that’s certainly the case with Coppola. Coppola has only completed five films since the start of this current century and three of them were not widely released. Say what you will about the films themselves, that still doesn’t seem right. For the record, I like Megalopolis.

Regardless of how one views his latter career, Coppola is responsible for some of the best and most important films ever made. And today, on his birthday, it’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 Francis Ford Coppola Films

The Godfather (1972, dir by Francis Ford Coppola, DP: Gordon Willis)
The Conversation (1974, dir by Francis Ford Coppola, DP: Bill Butler)
The Godfather Part II (dir by Francis Ford Coppola, DP: Gordon Willis)
Apocalypse Now (1979, dir by Francis Ford Coppola, DP: Vittorio Storaro)

Song of the Day: Money (That’s What I Want) by The Flying Lizards


I did check my stock portfolio this morning.  Jeff warned me not to.  Erin told me not to.  If I had asked my other sisters, I’m sure they would have said, “Don’t do it, just let our broker deal with it….”

But I checked.  Agck!

It’s funny.  I didn’t really care about money until I had it.

Anyway, today’s song of the day should make sense now.

The best things in life are free
But you can give them to the birds and bees

I need money (that’s what I want)
That’s what I want (that’s what I want)
That’s what I want (that’s what I want)
That’s what I want (that’s what I want)

Your love give me such a thrill
But your love don’t pay my bills

I need money (that’s what I want)
That’s what I want (that’s what I want)
That’s what I want (that’s what I want)
That’s what I want (that’s what I want)

Money don’t get everything, it’s true
But what it don’t get, I can’t use

I need money (that’s what I want)
That’s what I want (that’s what I want)
That’s what I want (that’s what I want)
That’s what I want (that’s what I want)

Money (that’s what I want)
Lots of money (that’s what I want)
Whole lot of money (that’s what I want)
Uh-huh (that’s what I want)
All I want (that’s what I want)
Whoa, yeah (that’s what I want)

Give me money (that’s what I want)
Oh, lots of money (that’s what I want)
All those lean greens, yeah (that’s what I want)
I got that, uh, that’s what I mean (that’s what I want)
All that I want (that’s what I want)
Whoa, yeah (that’s what I want)
Give me money, yeah

Songwriters: Berry Gordy Jr / Janie Bradford

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi High 1.15 “Stressed Out”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1989 to 1991!  The series can be streamed on YouTube and Tubi

This week, the first season of Degrassi High comes to a close!

Episode 1.15 “Stressed Out”

(Dir by John Bertram, originally aired on February 13th, 1990)

The first season of Degrassi High comes to an end with an episode that once again establishes Caitlin as being the worst.

The school year is coming to a close and everyone is stressed about final exams.  Michelle is taking speed to stay up and study.  Normally, this would be a big deal but this episode only devotes a few scenes to it and we don’t even get a big dramatic meltdown on Michelle’s part.  I mean, I guess it’s good that Michelle finally got a plotline that doesn’t revolve everyone being shocked about her dating BLT but why would you do a drug storyline without a meltdown?

The majority of this episode is taken up with Caitlin getting upset because Ms. Avery will not be working at Degrassi anymore.  Under the impression that Ms. Avery has been fired, Caitlin passes around a petition.  When Ms. Avery says she appreciates the support but that she’s actually the one who decided to quit, Caitlin freaks out (in much the same way that Michelle should have freaked out) and gets all upset and says that she’s not even going to go to the end-of-the-year school party.

Hey, Caitlin — IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

Seriously, Caitlin — Ms. Avery is an adult.  She has every right to quit her job.  Now, it does turn out that Avery quit because the school board wanted her to become a substitute teacher.  Avery wants her own classroom.  Caitlin is still upset.  How can Ms. Avery be so selfish to abandon the one student who actually cares about whether or not she has a job or not?  Avery really should have just told Caitlin to get a life but finally, Ms. Avery takes a job teaching at another school.  So, Ms. Avery will get her own classroom and, even more importantly, she won’t have to deal with Caitlin anymore.

Whatever happened to Caitlin’s court case?  Shouldn’t she be doing community service or something?

This finale was a bit of a letdown but it happens.  Not every school year ends with something exciting happening.  Next week, we start the second and final season of Degrassi High!