Author Archives: Lisa Marie Bowman

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 4.12 “With Love, The Claus”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

Merry Christmas!

Episode 4.12 “With Love, The Claus”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on December 23rd, 1987)

Jonathan and Mark find themselves working for a lawyer named Paul Burke (John Calvin).  It’s the Christmas season and they help Paul out by taking his son to Newman’s Department Store.  The kid wants to talk to Santa.  What the kid doesn’t know is that there are several Santas at Newman’s.  They work in shifts and they’re pretty cynical.  However, the newest Santa (Bill Erwin) takes his job very seriously because …. he is Santa!

So, why is Santa working at a department store instead of getting things ready up at the North Pole?  This episode never really explains.  Instead, we get Santa taking offense when he’s asked to help the store sell it’s latest toy.

Santa says that there’s no way he’s going to push machine guns.  He’s about peace and love!  His boss, Mr. Grinchley (Robert Casper), threatens to fire him.  Santa doesn’t react well to that.

Santa ends up unemployed and with nowhere to live.  Jonathan arranges for Paul to represent Santa in a lawsuit that Santa has filed against Newman’s Department Store.  The lead counsel for Newman’s just happens to Paul’s ex-wife, Donna (Wendie Malick).

You can probably guess where all this is going, right?  Santa eventually ends up in jail after the chairman of Newman’s files a lawsuit against him.  Santa says that he can’t stay in jail because Christmas Eve is approaching.  Maybe Santa should have thought about that earlier.

This episode owed a lot to one of my favorite Christmas movies, Miracle on 34th Street.  Of course, Miracle on 34th Street featured Edmund Gwenn, who gave a delightful performance as Santa.  This episode features Bill Erwin, who basically plays Santa as being a half-crazed grump who won’t stop complaining.  Seriously, this episode may feature the most unlikable Santa Claus this side of Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer.  I don’t know why Michael Landon directed Erwin to play Santa as if Santa was plotting to kill all of his enemies but it definitely wasn’t the right approach.

Seriously, Santa is really self-righteous in this episode.

I hate to criticize a Christmas episode and, as always, I’m sure that Michael Landon had the best and the sincerest of intentions.  But this episode just didn’t work for me.  Santa was too much of a jerk.

Retro Television Review: Decoy 1.2 “The Red Clown”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Decoy, which aired in Syndication in 1957 and 1958.  The show can be viewed on Tubi!

This episode, Casey searches for a man who has abandoned his daughter so he can pursue a career as a painter of clowns.

Episode 1.2 “The Red Clown”

(Dir by Teddy Sills, originally aired on October 21, 1957)

Mike Foley (John McLiam) has quit has job and left his New York home.  His wife (Barbara Barrie) suspects that Mike has returned to Greenwich Village so that he can pursue his dream of being a painter.  Normally, this wouldn’t be a police manner but Mike has also left behind his daughter, Bobby (Barbara Myers), and is facing charges of child abandonment unless he starts paying child support.  Policewoman Casey Jones (Beverly Garland) works undercover, pretending to be a bourgeois art collector who wants to buy one of Mike’s horrid clown paintings.

This episode featured some wonderful on-location footage of New York City in the 1950s.  The history nerd side of me loved that.  I have to admit, though, that I found myself wondering whether or not Casey is actually that good at her job.  Bobby managed to follow Casey all the way to Greenwich Village without Casey noticing.  When Casey did notice, she did the whole thing where she went to a phone booth and told Bobby, “Stay here while I make a call.”  Well, of course, Bobby didn’t stay there.  Bobby went running off to look for her father.

(Was Bobby’s mother not concerned that her daughter was basically wandering around the city?)

Of course, if Bobby hadn’t followed Casey to Greenwich Village, they never would have found Mike.  Mike, it turned out, was living in a shabby building and spending all of his time painting.  He was pursuing his dream.  When Bobby asked him to come home, Mike replied that he had no interest in his old life and that he didn’t want anything to do with his family.  Mike’s harsh words left Bobby in tears.  The episode ended with Bobby playing in a playground a few wees later, with Casey watching her and telling us, “I think she’ll be okay.”  Yeah, I don’t think so, Casey.

The episode was depressing!  But I have to give the show a lot of credit for not having Mike have a sudden change of heart.  The truth of the matter is that he left his family because he was self-centered.  He didn’t become any less self-centered when he was confronted by his daughter.  After listening to Mike’s self-serving crap, Bobby dropped the clown doll that she carried with her as she searched for Mike, saying that she didn’t like clowns anymore.  It’s a painful lesson and a sad one but at least Bobby now knows that truth about her father.  Other than that playground coda, this episode had the guts not to give into false hope.

Next week: Casey deals with an obscene phone caller!

Scene That I Love: Queeg Cracks in The Caine Mutiny

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

The Caine Mutiny (1954, dir by Edward Dmytryk, DP: Franz Planer)

Today’s scene that I love comes from 1954’s The Caine Mutiny.

In this scene, Captain Queeg (Humphrey Bogart) is cross-examined by Barney Greenwald (Jose Ferrer).  The court martial concerns whether or not an officer under Queeg’s command was justified in taking over the ship from Queeg.  Greenwald, tasked with defending the head mutineer, knows that the only way to win the case is to expose Queeg himself as a paranoid and unstable officer.  Greenwald does his job but he’s not happy about it.

This scene, directed by Edward Dmytryk, features both Bogart and Ferrer at their absolute best.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Edward Dmytryk Edition

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

117 years ago, on this date in Columbia, Canada, director Edward Dmytryk was born.  Today, we honor this underrated filmmaker with….

4 Shots From 4 Edward Dmytryk Films

Murder, My Sweet (1944, dir by Edward Dmytryk, DP: Harry J. Wild)

Crossfire (1947, dir by Edward Dmytryk, DP: J. Roy Hunt)

The Caine Mutiny (1954, dir by Edward Dmytryk, DP: Franz Planer)

The Carpetbaggers (1964, dir by Edward Dmytryk, DP: Joseph MacDonald)

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & 10 1.8 “The Sins of the Quarterback”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, Bryce Smith finally takes the field!

Episode 1.8 “The Sins of the Quarterback”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on January 13th, 1985)

During a game against the — oh come on! — Atlanta Confederates, Bob Dorsey is sacked and knocked unconscious.  Ultra-religious backup quarterback Bryce Smith (Jeff East) is sent in to replace him.  Bryce throws an amazing pass across the entire field that is somewhat caught for a touchdown.  The Bulls win!

The defensive players celebrate by grabbing Bryce forcing liquor down his throat.  Bryce is a Mormon and a graduate of BYU.  Bryce gets drunk easily.  After the rest of the players leave the locker room, a barely coherent Bryce is  approached by cheerleader Tammy Baker (Pamela Jean Bryant) who says that she is God’s gift to him.  The scene ends rather abruptly, I assume because this episode was heavily edited for syndication.

A week later, an excited Tammy approaches Bryce at a roast honoring the team.  She tells him that she’s pregnant!  She’s super-excited!  Bryce, however, is shaken and — after a fantasy sequence set in the Garden of Eden — Bryce announces that he is retiring from football and going to Tibet to become a monk.  Why would a Mormon go to Tibet to become a monk?

Well, I guess the team is screwed!  Bob Dorsey still isn’t ready to come back and the third-string quarterback can barely throw the ball.  However, Bryce’s wife comes to the rescue.  She forgives Bryce for cheating and she also invites Tammy to come live with them.  Bryce can continue to play football!

Denardo, however, doubts that Bryce is the one who impregnated Tammy.  He demands that every other player who had sex with Tammy raise their hand.  Nearly every hand in the locker room goes up.  Bryce worries that everyone is going to have to move in with him and his wife….

Okay, then!  It’s hard to review this episode because, again, it’s obvious that the racy, original episode (the one that aired on HBO) was heavily edited for syndication.  The version that I saw featured a lot of abrupt jump cuts.  The story itself was fairly dumb but that’s kind of a given when it comes to this show.  I’ll give some credit to Jeff East.  He was far better than the material he had to work with.

Myself, I’m just amazed that this show featured a team called the Atlanta Confederates.  I’m going to assume that team eventually changed their name.

Scenes That I Love: The Ramones Play Rock ‘n’ Roll High School

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

To go along with Brad’s book review and my tribute to Ron Howard, I really wanted to share a scene of Clint Howard as Mr. Eaglebauer in the 1979 film, Rock ‘n’ Roll High School.  Unfortunately, I really couldn’t find any Eaglebauer scenes on YouTube but I did find this upload of the Ramones performing at the end of the film.

If you look closely, you’ll see Clint Howard dancing to the song.  His face isn’t visible but you’ll spot the hair easily.

I love this movie!

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Ron Howard Edition

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Since Brad just reviewed Ron and Clint Howard’s new memoir, it seems like it’s time for….

4 Shots from 4 Ron Howard Films

Apollo 13 (1995, dir by Ron Howard, DP: Dean Cundey)

A Beautiful Mind (2001, dir by Ron Howard, DP: Roger Deakins)

Rush (2013, dir by Ron Howard, DP: Anthony Dod Mantle)

Solo (2018, dir by Ron Howard, DP: Bradford Young)

 

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 6.15 “The Captain’s Replacement/Sly As A Fox/Here Comes The Bride …. Maybe”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Come aboard!  We’re expecting you….

Episode 6.15 “The Captain’s Replacement/Sly As A Fox/Here Comes The Bride …. Maybe”

(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on January 15th, 1983)

First off, before I do anything else, I want to thank Case for covering the last three episodes of The Love Boat for me.  The previous month was not an easy one for me or my family and having Case, Brad, and Jeff helping me out with my television reviews really helped out.  Thanks, guys.  You all did a wonderful job!

As far as this episode goes, I know there’s one question that is on everyone’s mind:

Julie appeared to be moderately coked-up in this episode, though not as much as usual.  I’d say on the How Coked Up Was Julie Scale, this episode was right in the middle.  Five out of ten.

Julie actually had a bit to do during this episode.  Captain Donahue (McLean Stevenson) was on the ship, technically so that he could watch and learn from Captain Stubing.  Gopher, however, suspected that Donahue was planning on replacing Stubing as the captain of the Pacific Princess.  Gopher, Julie, Doc, Isaac, and Vicki all decided to pretend to be crazy in order to convince Donahue to stay away from the Pacific Princess.  Julie, for instance, started to obsessively practice her “welcome aboard” greeting.  I’m not sure what was so crazy about that.  As far as I can tell, Julie’s entire job consists of greeting people when they board the ship.  It seems like it would be a good idea to get some practice in.  Still, Donahue is freaked out enough that he backs off from trying to steal Stubing’s position.  Captain Stubing is relieved and so is the rest of the crew.  Maybe they came across an episode of Hello, Larry and realized what was in store for them if McLean Stevenson became the new captain.

Julie also served as an advisor to Mary Frances Bellflower (Shelley Fabares), who boarded the ship with two suitors.  Ben Phillips (Frank Bonner) and Henry Greg (Arte Johnson) spent the cruise bickering over who would make the best husband for Mary Frances.  Mary Frances assumed that the two men only cared about her because she was rich and she owned a valuable foxhound.  However, by the end of the cruise, Mary Frances realized that both of the men sincerely loved her.  She promised Julie that she would return to the ship in the future with the man she had chosen.  Julia, her nose red, suggested that Mary Frances give bigamy a try.  Everyone had a good laugh.

Finally, Doc arranged for his old friend, Erica Dupont (Jenilee Harrison), to get a job serving drinks on the cruise.  Erica, the daughter of an autoworker, needed the job so that she could help pay for her wedding to Robert Wallingford (Stephen Shortridge).  Erica confessed that Robert and his parents both thought she was rich because her last name was Dupont.  Erica immediately got to work serving drinks but — oh no! — Robert’s snooty parents (William Windom and Jane Wyatt) just happened to be on the cruise!  Erica tried to avoid them but eventually, they saw Erica sharing a friendly dance with Doc and they got the wrong idea.  They called Robert, who flew down to Mexico to meet the boat.  Erica finally confessed that, while her last name was Dupont, that did not make her a Du Pont.  The Wallingfords were disappointed to learn that Erica was not related to future murderer John du Pont.  Still, Robert forgave Erica and I guess they got married after the cruise.  Who knows?  I would think that starting an engagement with a lie would be a problem for most people but whatever.

This cruise was mildly enjoyable.  Jenilee Harrison and Bernie Kopell had a likable chemistry and it was hard not to feel that Erica should have just dumped Robert and declared her love for Doc.  As for everyone acting crazy to fool McLean Stevenson, you could tell that the regulars were having fun.  The storyline about Mary Frances and her two suitors was fairly weak but the other two stories made up for it.

I’m glad that I came aboard.

The Films of 2025: Borderline (dir by Jimmy Warden)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Every year, Hollywood publishes The Black List.

The Black List is a survey of the unproduced screenplays that are considered the “most-liked” by various studio executive and producers.  It comes out the second Friday of December and it’s always the top news story for at least half the weekend.  After the weekend, everyone promptly forgets about it.

Now, I will admit that some good movies have been made from Black List scripts.  The King’s Speech, Hell or High Water, Argo, Promising Young Woman: they all appeared on the Black List.  But, to be honest, I’m far more interested in the amount of forgettable and downright bad movies that appeared on The Black List, some of them often listed near the top of list.  Anonymous, The Bucket List, Cedar Rapids, The Beaver, Broken City, The Ides of March: they all appeared on the Black List too.  Appearing on The Black List is no guarantee of quality.

That’s bring us to Borderline.  The screenplay for Borderline appeared on the 2020 Black List and evidently that appeared paid off because the script was put into production with screenwriter Jimmy Warden making his directorial debut.  (Undoubtedly, it probably helped that Warden’s wife, Samara Weaving, agreed to star in the film.)  The film was released in March of this year and, if you’re so inclined, you can currently watch it on Peacock.

Borderline takes place in the early 90s.  Weaving plays a vacuous pop star named Sofia.  Ray Nicholson plays Paul Duerson, who is obsessed with Sofia and believes that he’s destined to marry her.  When we first see Paul, he’s stabbing Sofia’s head of security, Bell (Eric Dane), and then dancing around Sofia’s house.  At the time, Sofia is out.  However, when Paul returns 6 months later, Sofia is home.  Paul somehow has managed to gather some crazy associates who are willing to work with him.  Penny (Alba Baptista) is just as unstable as Paul and I’m going to assume that her character was meant to be an homage to Sandra Bernhard’s character in The King of Comedy.  (Indeed, the film seems to owe a lot to The King of Comedy.)  Sofia and a Dennis Rodmanesque basketball player named Rhodes (Jimmie Falls) finds themselves trapped by Paul and his fantasy of marrying Sofia.

It’s easy to see why this screenplay would get the attention of the studio execs who voted on the Black List.  It mixes comedy, drama, and horror in a way that is very trendy right now.  It also features a lot of crazed monologuing on the part of Paul.  Unfortunately, as a director, Jimmy Warden doesn’t seem to know how to manage his own script’s frequent shifts in tone and the film itself drags to such an extent that it could almost be mistaken for a Project Greenlight film.  (Seriously, remember The Leisure Class?)  Add to that, the film features some remarkably bad acting.  There are undoubtedly worst performance out there than Alba Baptista’s but I doubt I’m going to see more annoying one for a while.

For this film really to work, Paul would have to be at least interesting in his insanity.  It’s possible to make a character like Paul compelling but having Ray Nicholson do an imitation of Christian Slater imitating Ray’s father Jack is not the way to go.  Ray Nicholson bears a passable resemblance to Jack and he throws himself into playing Paul as being a nutcase.  What Ray Nicholson doesn’t have is Jack’s screen presence.  Ironically, that means that Ray Nicholson probably gives a pretty realistic performance as the type of anonymous loser who would fantasize about marrying his favorite singer but who wants to spend 90 minutes watching one of those people?

In the end, Borderline is another mediocre Blacklist film.