Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 3.5 “Death Watch”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, someone dies!  OH MY GOD!

Episode 3.5 “Death Watch”

(Dir by Barry Crane, originally aired on October 13th, 1979)

Dennis (Christopher Stone) is a veteran movie stunt driver who has never gotten over the tragic death of his child and the way he was treated by a heartless insurance company.  He now drives up and down the freeway, looking for drivers who look like they have good insurance.  Using his stunt skills, he causes accidents and then, under one of many assumed names, he files an insurance claim.  Dennis’s wife (played by Dee Wallace, who was married to Stone at the time) thinks that Dennis is taking things too far but Dennis is convinced that he’s earned the right to commit insurance fraud.  As he puts it, the companies have enough money that it’s not going to hurt them if he steals some of it.

Unfortunately, his latest attempt to cause an accident results in a delivery van swerving to the side of the road and striking two policemen who have pulled over a drunk driver.  One of the policeman is series regular Bear (played by Brodie Greer).  The other is a guy named Steve (Stephen Parr) who we’ve never seen before but who is quickly established as being everyone’s best friend.  Or, I guess, he was everyone’s best friend as he dies shortly after being taken to the hospital.  I have to admit that Steve dying was a bit jarring.  It’s rare that anyone on CHiPs is seriously injured, much less killed.

The highway patrol officers are shaken by Steve’s death.  Ponch and Baker go to the station’s gym and work off their frustration.  Jon lifts weights.  Ponch takes off his shirt and starts hitting a punching bag and, despite the tragedy of the situation, it was hard not to laugh at the show using it as an excuse for Erik Estrada to once again take off his shirt.

The members of the highway patrol attend Steve’s funeral.  It’s pretty somber until Bear rolls into the church in his wheelchair and everyone breaks out into a huge smile.  They’re happy that Bear survived but I do have to wonder how Steve’s family felt when they saw all those smiles and heard the officers joking amongst themselves.  I guess they should have been happy that Ponch actually wore pants and a shirt to the funeral as opposed to showing up in a speedo.  Seriously, if anyone would do that, it would be Ponch.

All of the bad drivers are brought to justice.  The driver of the delivery van loses his job.  Dennis goes to prison.  By the end of the episode, everyone’s in a good mood again.  Rest in peace, Steve!

This episode deserves some credit for trying to deal with a serious issue.  Death is a big deal.  Unfortunately, CHiPs really isn’t the best format for heart-rendering drama.  Even after Steve was killed, the show still teased the audience with the promise of another crash.  In the end, the main message seemed to be that it was better to lose Steve than Bear …. or, God forbid, Ponch!

Film Review: La Dolce Vita (dir by Federico Fellini)


The great director Federico Fellini was born, on this day, 125 years ago.

He was born in Rimini.  That’s in Northern Italy.  (The Italian side of my family comes from Southern Italy and yes, there is a difference.)  Fellini was 19 years old when he enrolled in law school but records, which were admittedly spotty at the time, seem to indicate that he never attended a single class.  Instead, Fellini found work as a writer, working first as a journalist and then a screenwriter.  (He was one of the many credited for writing the screenplay for Rome, Open City.)  He began his directing career as a neorealist in the 50s but soon crafted his own unique style, one which openly mixed humor with drama and fantasy with earthiness.  Fellini established himself as one of the world’s best directors, a filmmaker who made art films that not only entertained but also provoked thought.  Fellini was a director who embraced life’s contradictions as well as being a strong anti-authoritarian who rarely commented on politics but did make known his distaste for communism.  He was also one of Mario Bava’s best friends.

My favorite Fellini film is 1960’s La Dolce Vita.

Ah, to be rich, decadent, and jaded in Rome in the early 60s!  Or maybe not.  Sometimes, being jaded is not as much fun as it seems.

La Dolce Vita is largely remembered for the scene in which actress Sylvia (Anita Ekberg) and journalist Marcello (Marcello Mastroianni) wade into Rome’s Trevi Fountain.  While that it is a great and sensual scene and justifiably famous (and, in fact, the film’s poster was originally a shot of Ekberg in the fountain despite the fact that the scene is only a small part of a 3-hour movie), it’s often overlooked that the scene itself does not have a happy ending.  When Marcello and Sylvia return to Sylvia’s hotel, Sylvia is slapped by her loutish boyfriend (played by Lex Barker).  Marcello, meanwhile, has a fiancée named Emma (Yvonne Furneaux) who is recovering from a recent overdose.  Even though Marcello swears that he loves Emma and that he would do anything for her, he is still compulsively unfaithful.

When we first meet Marcello, he’s in a news helicopter, watching as a statue of Jesus is flown over Rome.  However, Marcello is distracted by the sight of a group of women sunbathing on a nearby rooftop and he tries to get their phone numbers before returning to following the statue.  That pretty much sets the tone for most of what we see of Marcello over the course of La Dolce Vita.  He’s searching for the profound and transcendent but he frequently gets distracted by his own more earthy desires.

The film follows Marcello as he encounters different people in Rome and the surrounding area.  Some of them are rich and some of them are poor.  All of them are looking for something but none of them seem to be quite sure what it is.  A possible sighting of the Madonna brings a crowd of people to the outskirts of Rome, where everyone asks for something but the end result is only chaos.  A meeting with an intellectual friend of Marcello seems to offer a solution to Marcello’s ennui until a tragedy reveals that his friend was even more lost than Marcello.  (The film’s sudden tragic turn took me very much by surprise when I first saw it, despite the fact that countless filmmakers have imitated the moment since.)  A possibly important conversation on a beach is made unintelligible by the crashing waves and, instead of providing enlightenment, it ends with a shrugs and an enigmatic smile.  There’s a definite strain melancholy running through the film though there’s also a certain joi de vivre to many of Marcello’s adventures.  Marcello is torn between seeking transcendence and seeking pleasure.  Fellini shows us that both are equally important.  It’s left to use to decide whether the pleasure is worth the heartache and vice versa.

La Dolce Vita is visually stunning portrait of life in Rome at a very particular cultural moment.  Marcello Mastroianni is the epitome of decadent cool in the lead role but he’s also a good enough actor to let us see that Marcello is never quite as proud of himself or as happt with his life as everyone assumes he is.  La Dolce Vita may be about a specific cultural moment but, as a film, it is timeless.

Lisa Marie Reviews An Oscar Nominee: The Right Stuff (dir by Philip Kaufman)


There’s a brilliant scene that occurs towards the end of 1983’s The Right Stuff.

It takes place in 1963.  The original Mercury astronauts, who have become a symbol of American ingenuity and optimism, are being cheered at a rally in Houston.  Vice President Lyndon Johnson (Donald Moffat) stands on a stage and brags about having brought the astronauts to his supporters.  One-by-one, the astronauts and their wives wave to the cheering crowd.  They’re all there: John Glenn (Ed Harris), Gus Grissom (Fred Ward), Alan Shephard (Scott Glenn), Wally Schirra (Lance Henrisken), Deke Slayton (Scott Paulin), Scott Carpenter (Charles Frank), and the always-smiling Gordon Cooper (Dennis Quaid).  The astronauts all look good and they know how to play to the crowd.  They were chosen to be and sold as heroes and all of them have delivered.

While the astronauts are celebrated, Chuck Yeager (Sam Shepard) is at Edwards Air Force Base.  Yeager is the pilot who broke the sound barrier and proved that the mythical “demon in the sky,” which was whispered about by pilots as a warning about taking unnecessary risks, was not waiting to destroy every pilot who tried to go too fast or too high.  Yeager is considered by many, including Gordon Cooper, to be the best pilot in America.  But, because Yeager didn’t have the right image and he had an independent streak, he was not ever considered to become a part of America’s young space program.  Yeager, who usually holds his emotions in check, gets in a jet and flies it straight up into the sky, taking the jet to the edge of space.  For a few briefs seconds, the blue sky becomes transparent and we can see the stars and the darkness behind the Earth’s atmosphere.  At that very moment, Yeager is at the barrier between reality and imagination, the past and the future, the planet and the universe.  And watching the film, the viewer is tempted to think that Yeager might actually make it into space finally.  It doesn’t happen, of course.  Yeager pushes the jet too far.  He manages to eject before his plane crashes.  He walks away from the cash with the stubborn strut of a western hero.  His expression remains stoic but we know he’s proven something to himself.  At that moment, the Mercury Astronauts might be the face of America but Yeager is the soul.  Both the astronauts and Yeager play an important role in taking America into space.  While the astronauts have learned how to take care of each other, even the face of government bureaucracy and a media that, initially, was eager to mock them and the idea of a man ever escaping the Earth’s atmosphere,  Chuck Yeager reminds us that America’s greatest strength has always been its independence.

Philip Kaufman’s film about the early days of the space program is full of moments like that.  The Right Stuff is a big film.  It’s a long film.  It’s a chaotic film, one that frequently switches tone from being a modern western to a media satire to reverent recreation of history.  Moments of high drama are mixed with often broad humor.  Much like Tom Wolfe’s book, on which Kaufman’s film is based, the sprawling story is often critical of the government and the press but it celebrates the people who set speed records and who first went into space.  The film opens with Yeager, proving that a man can break the sound barrier.  It goes on to the early days of NASA, ending with the final member of the Mercury Seven going into space.  In between, the film offers a portrait of America on the verge of the space age.  We watch as John Glenn goes from being a clean-cut and eager to please to standing up to both the press and LBJ.  Even later, Glenn sees fireflies in space while an aborigines in Australia performs a ceremony for his safety.  We watch as Gus Grissom barely survives a serious accident and is only rescued from drowning after this capsule has been secured.  The astronauts go from being ridiculed to celebrated and eventually respected, even by Chuck Yeager.

It’s a big film with a huge cast.  Along with Sam Shepherd and the actors who play the Mercury Seven, Barbara Hershey, Pamela Reed, Jeff Goldblum, Harry Shearer, Royal Dano, Kim Stanley, Scott Wilson, and William Russ show up in roles both small and large.  It can sometimes be a bit of an overwhelming film but it’s one that leaves you feeling proud of the pioneering pilots and the brave astronauts and it leaves you thinking about the wonder of the universe that surrounds our Earth.  It’s a strong tribute to the American spirit, the so-called right stuff of the title.

The Right Stuff was nominated for Best Picture but, in the end, it lost to a far more lowkey film, 1983’s Terms of Endearment.  Sam Shepard was nominated for Best Supporting Actor but lost to Jack Nicholson.  Nicolson played an astronaut.

Wrongfully Accused (1998, directed by Pat Proft)


Ryan Harrison (Leslie Nielsen) is a world-famous concert violinist who plays his instrument like Jimmy Page plays his guitar.  Harrison is invited to a party but when his host, Hibbing Goodhue (Michael York), is murdered, Harrison is wrongfully accused.  No one believes his story that the murder was committed by a one-eyed, one-armed, one-legged man.  Harrison is convicted of a crime he didn’t commit.  Maybe he should have asked for a preemptive pardon but that would probably have been too ludicrous an idea for even a parody film like this one.  An accident on the way to prison allows Harrison to escape.  He must now prove his innocence while being pursued by the determined Fergus Falls (Richard Crenna).

Wrongfully Accused is the only film to be directed by comedy writer Pat Proft and it’s a parody film in the style of Airplane!  There are sight gags, movie references, and a lot of ridiculous dialogue delivered in deadpan fashion by Leslie Nielsen.  Richard Crenna does a decent impersonation of Tommy Lee Jones.  There’s a North By Northwest parody that involves a toy airplane.  It’s not that there weren’t enough funny moments, it’s just that there weren’t enough of them.  Most of the jokes instead felt uninspired, as if Proft just turned on his TV and tossed in a joke about whatever movie he saw being advertised.  It feels like the script was written by using parody movie mad libs.  One reason why Airplane! holds up  so well is because it genuinely loved disaster movies and there was a sense of innocence to even the wildest of the jokes.  Wrongfully Accused has some funny moments but there’s no real affection for the movie being poked fun at.  The Fugitive feels like almost too easy a target.  Leslie Nielsen and Richard Crenna score some laughs but even they sometimes seem to be just going through the motions.

As the old saying goes, dying is easy.  Comedy is hard.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.14 “Cuba Libre”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, everyone’s moved on from Zito’s death.

Episode 3.14 “Cuba Libre”

(Dir by Virgil W. Vogel, originally aired on January 23rd, 1987)

A routine drug bust at the mansion of Armando Rojas (Willie Colon) goes wrong when a group of masked gunmen show up and demand that Rojas give him all their money.  The gunmen kill a young vice cop and get into a gunfight with Crockett and Tubbs (who are, as usual, pretending to be Burnett and Cooper).  The gunmen make their escape but Crockett suspects that this was more than just a fight amongst drug dealers.  As he tells Castillo, the gunmen acted more like “Quantico than Colombia.”  Since the dead vice cop was a protegee of Crockett’s, Crockett is taking this one personally!

Unfortunately, for Crockett, the FBI doesn’t want him to take this one personally.  The gunmen work for Paco Zamora (Joe Urla), a Cuban refugee who has been working for the government ever since the Bay of Pigs.  Zamora is looking to raise money so that he can overthrow Fidel Castro.  (Boo!  Castro!  Boo!)  Crockett and Tubbs go — *sigh* — undercover as Burnett and Cooper to discover Zamora’s plans.  “Burnett” says that he wants to rip off “Cooper.”  I know I kind of harp on this but I always have to roll my eyes whenever Crockett and Tubbs do the whole Burnett and Cooper thing.  After three seasons of them arresting and killing everyone who falls for the Burnett/Cooper con, you would think the Miami underworld would have caught on by now!  I mean, wasn’t Frank Zappa going to tell everyone in Miami not to trust Sonny Burnett?  Do people in Miami just not share information with each other?  Are they just that easily fooled?  No wonder Fidel Castro hung onto power for all those years.  (Boo!  Castro!  Boo!)

Anyway, it turns out that there is a member of Castro’s (boo!) government visiting Miami and Zamora and his army are planning on assassinating him.  Crockett and Tubbs and the Vice Squad have to stop an international incident from happening in Florida.  Or — considering all of the people that Castro had assassinated over the years (Boo!) — maybe they could have just stayed out of it and let Zamora do his thing.  Seriously, in what world is a Southern good old boy and former CIA-connected football player like Sonny Crockett going to be so concerned with protecting the lives of communist diplomats?  Is that was Larry Zito died for!?  Regardless and as usuasl, everything ends with a shoot-out in which Sonny makes his final argument with a bullet.  Pauline Kael once wrote that Oliver Stone had left-wing politics but a right-wing sensibility and that’s certainly true of Miami Vice as well.

This episode felt pretty routine.  Especially after all the emotional drama of the previous two episodes, Cuba Libre felt like an example of the show on autopilot.

 

The Eric Roberts Collection: The Elevator (dir by Jack Cook and Mukesh Modi)


In 2021’s The Elevator, Eric Roberts plays Roman Juniper, who is married and who has three kids but who also has a demanding job in a downtown office building.  Even though it’s both the weekend and his youngest daughter’s birthday, Roman still has to go into work for a few hours.  Unfortunately, just as Roman is looking forward to heading home and celebrating with his family, there’s an electrical short in the building and Roman finds himself trapped in the elevator!

His family starts to wonder where he is and, in another unfortunate coincidence, he is initially misidentified as having been involved in a freak accident that occurred outside of his building.  His family fears that Roman is dead but will they ever discover that he’s actually tapped in a dark elevator, where he’s yelling and losing his mind?

In many ways, this film is the ultimate latter day Eric Roberts movie.  Roberts is actually the lead in this movie.  The film centers around his character and, even when he’s not on-screen, everyone is talking about him.  For once, this is not a film where Roberts just shows up in some throw-away role and lends the production a few minutes of Eric Roberts star power.  The Elevator is a legitimate Eric Roberts films.  And yet, because of the film’s plot, Roberts still spends the majority of his screentime on only one set and, for the most part, he doesn’t really interact with the rest of the cast.  Everyone else is out looking for him but Eric Roberts is alone on that elevator.  He’s acting up a storm and Eric Roberts is always at his best when he’s playing an emotional character but it’s difficult not to notice that he was probably able to shoot his entire role in just a day or two.  You have to respect a man who can star in a movie and still manage to get it all done in just a handful of hours.

Eric Roberts is, not surprisingly, the main reason to see The Elevator.  The film itself is poorly paced and cheap-looking.  But Eric Roberts is always fun to watch.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

  1. Star 80 (1983)
  2. Blood Red (1989)
  3. The Ambulance (1990)
  4. The Lost Capone (1990)
  5. Love, Cheat, & Steal (1993)
  6. Voyage (1993)
  7. Love Is A Gun (1994)
  8. Sensation (1994)
  9. Dark Angel (1996)
  10. Doctor Who (1996)
  11. Most Wanted (1997)
  12. Mercy Streets (2000)
  13. Wolves of Wall Street (2002)
  14. Mr. Brightside (2004)
  15. Six: The Mark Unleased (2004)
  16. Hey You (2006)
  17. In The Blink of an Eye (2009)
  18. Enemies Among Us (2010)
  19. The Expendables (2010) 
  20. Sharktopus (2010)
  21. The Dead Want Women (2012)
  22. Deadline (2012)
  23. The Mark (2012)
  24. Miss Atomic Bomb (2012)
  25. Bonnie And Clyde: Justified (2013)
  26. Lovelace (2013)
  27. The Mark: Redemption (2013)
  28. Self-Storage (2013)
  29. This Is Our Time (2013)
  30. Inherent Vice (2014)
  31. Road to the Open (2014)
  32. Rumors of War (2014)
  33. Amityville Death House (2015)
  34. A Fatal Obsession (2015)
  35. Stalked By My Doctor (2015)
  36. Enemy Within (2016)
  37. Joker’s Poltergeist (2016)
  38. Prayer Never Fails (2016)
  39. Stalked By My Doctor: The Return (2016)
  40. The Wrong Roommate (2016)
  41. Dark Image (2017)
  42. Black Wake (2018)
  43. Stalked By My Doctor: Patient’s Revenge (2018)
  44. Clinton Island (2019)
  45. Monster Island (2019)
  46. The Savant (2019)
  47. Seven Deadly Sins (2019)
  48. Stalked By My Doctor: A Sleepwalker’s Nightmare (2019)
  49. The Wrong Mommy (2019)
  50. Exodus of a Prodigal Son (2020)
  51. Free Lunch Express (2020)
  52. Her Deadly Groom (2020)
  53. Top Gunner (2020)
  54. Deadly Nightshade (2021)
  55. Just What The Doctor Ordered (2021)
  56. Killer Advice (2021)
  57. The Poltergeist Diaries (2021)
  58. The Rebels of PT-218 (2021)
  59. A Town Called Parable (2021)
  60. Bleach (2022)
  61. My Dinner With Eric (2022)
  62. Aftermath (2024)
  63. The Wrong Life Coach (2024)

AMV of the Day: Gods (Solo Leveling)


Latest AMV of the Day comes courtesy of AMV creator ABOKAI and its all about Jin-woo of the anime series Solo Leveling. I know some anime purists don’t like watching anime adaptations of Korean manwha (South Korean version of Japanese manga). I can take it or leave it since there’s not many examples of such adaptations though I have read quite a few Korean webtoons that were expanded into more official manwha.

Solo Leveling is one of the better Korean manwha and its follows the long-standing and well-utilized power fantasy of Japanese shonen manga. Jin-woo is one such MC whose rise from lowly nobody to OP main character was best shown in the one of the main fight sequences in the first season of Solo Leveling.

ABOKAI does a great job of editing the fight sequences to match the energy of the song by South Korean kpop girl group NewJeans. The song itself, titled GODS, was the anthem for the League of Legends World 2023.

Solo Leveling just premiered its second season and this AMV just a good way to remember just how action-packed this series is.

Song: GODS by NewJeans (뉴진스)

Anime: Solo Leveling

Creator: ABOKAI

Past AMVs of the Day

Song of the Day: To Sir With Love, covered by Tina Arena


I’ve always liked this song.  It’s one of the few songs that I can kind of decently sing and it describes my feelings towards a lot of people who were important to me in years past.  It also describes the way I feel about certain people now.  This song was originally recorded and made famous by Lulu but my favorite version is this cover by Tina Arena.

Those schoolgirl days
Of telling tales and biting nails are gone
But in my mind
I know they will still live on and on

But how do you thank someone
Who has taken you from crayons to perfume?
It isn’t easy, but I’ll try

If you wanted the sky
I would write across the sky in letters
That would soar a thousand feet high
“To sir, with love”

The time has come
For closing books and long last looks must end
And as I leave
I know that I am leaving my best friend

A friend who taught me right from wrong
And weak from strong
That’s a lot to learn
What, what can I give you in return?

If you wanted the moon
I would try to make a start
But I would rather you let me give my heart
“To sir, with love”

Songwriters: Don Black / Mark London

Monday Live Tweet Alert: Join Us For Super Fuzz and Burglar!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in hosting a few weekly live tweets on twitter and occasion ally Mastodon.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of Mastodon’s #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We snark our way through it.

Tonight, for #MondayActionMovie, the film will be Super Fuzz, starring Terrence Hill!

Then, on twitter, #MondayMuggers will be showing Burglar, starring Whoopi Goldberg!  The film is on Prime and it starts at 10 pm et!

It should make for a night of exciting and thought-provoking viewing and I invite all of you to join in.  If you want to join the live tweets, just hop onto Mastodon, pull up Super Fuzz on YouTube, start the movie at 8 pm et, and use the #MondayActionMovie hashtag!  Then switch over to twitter, pull Burglar up on Prime, and use the #MondayMuggers hashtag! 

Enjoy!

Scenes I Love: The Final Scene of David Lynch’s Twin Peaks: The Return


“What year is this?”

The final scene of Twin Peaks: The Return has haunted me ever since I first watched it 2017.  I’m still not sure what the ending meant or where Cooper and Laura were but somehow, as enigmatic as it all was, it felt like the only proper way to end the saga of Twin Peaks.

And really, this is a scene that only Lynch could have made work.  Another director would have tried too hard to tell the audience what to think or how to react.  Of course, many directors probably wouldn’t have had the guts to end things on such on open-ended note.  But Lynch not only had the courage to stick to his vision but he also had the faith to trust his audience to figure it out for themselves.  Courage and faith are two of the main reasons why David Lynch was one of the greatest directors of his time.