Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Highway to Heaven 1.10 “Help Wanted: Angel”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, Mark falls in love and Jonathan directs a movie.

Episode 1.10 “Help Wanted: Angel”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on November 21st, 1984)

This is a strange episode.

The first half of the episode plays out like almost a parody of Highway to Heaven.  In fact, I would assume that it was a parody except for the fact that this was only the show’s tenth episode and that’s a bit early for any show to start intentionally parodying itself.

Still in Hollywood, Jonathan and Mark come across a sign that has been posted by someone named Joey.  “Angels Needed,” the sign says.  The sign has an address that turns out to be a community center, one that is populated by a mix of cranky retired people and young criminals.  The center’s maintenance worker is a developmentally challenged young man named Joey Smalls (Dennis Fimple).  Joey put up his sign because he wants an angel to help an elderly screenwriter named Martin Lamm (John Lormer).  Martin has written a script about a magician and he wants to not only make the film but also fill the cast with people from the neighborhood.

No sooner have Mark and Jonathan stepped into the community center and met Joey and Martin then they are suddenly joined by a man named Petros (Al Ruscio).  Petros speaks in a thick Greek accent and he says that he has also seen Joey’s sign, he has read Martin’s script, and he wants to produce the movie.  And he wants Jonathan to direct it and Mark to play the role of a sea captain who falls in love with a woman who has “a past,” as Petros puts it.  As the woman, they cast Stella (Stella Stevens), who actually does have a past.

We then jump forward several weeks.  Jonathan is directing the film, even though he doesn’t seem to have a crew and we don’t actually see any cameras filming anything.  Joey has impressed everyone with the sincerity of his acting and he is now friends with former gang member, Chewy (Randy Vasquez).  Mark, meanwhile, is falling in love with Stella.

So, that’s the first half of the episode.  It’s all very broadly acted and the dialogue frequently crosses the line from sentimental to mawkish.  I have to admit that I rolled my eyes more than a few times because it all felt so overdone.

But then, the second half of the episode opens with Petros approaching Jonathan.  Jonathan asks Petros about his past.  Petros says that he was born in Galilee and that, before starting his current line of work, he was a fisherman.  Jonathan realizes that Petros is actually St. Peter and he’s been sent down to help Jonathan out with his mission.  It turns out that Jonathan’s mission is not really about Joey or Martin.  Instead, it’s about Stella, who is going to die and it’s about Mark, who is about to lose the woman that he’s fallen in love with.  Realizing that Stella’s character is also going to die in the movie that he’s supposedly directing, Jonathan asks if they can just rewrite the script but Peter tells him that they can’t.  What is going to happen is going to happen.

And it does happen, though not before Mark asks Stella to marry him and Stella says yes.  When she finds out that she’s ill, Stella leaves Mark a note saying that she’s dumping him for an ex-boyfriend.  At first, Mark is angry but, with Jonathan’s help, he realizes the truth.  Mark finds Stella waiting for him on the beach where they filmed their scenes for the movie and they get married as the ocean crashes behind them.  And then, off-screen, Stella dies.

And I went from rolling my eyes to actually wiping away tears because, as broad and kind of annoying as the first half of the episode was, the second half was sensitively directed by Michael Landon and sincerely acted by both Victor French and Stella Stevens.  If the first half felt like a parody, the second half was a reminder of why this show still remains popular on so many streaming platforms.  At its best, there was an unapologetic earnestness to Highway to Heaven.  This was a show that said that it was okay to cry and to have emotions and to care about people.  This was a strange episode but, ultimately, a surprisingly effective one.

Lisa Marie’s Oscar Predictions For November


With the announcements of both the Gotham and the NYFCC winners, awards season is finally here!  Over the next 30 days, the Oscar race will become very, very clear.  As of right now, it truly does appear to be a Oppenheimer vs. Killers of the Flower Moon contest with perhaps Poor Things and Barbie overperforming when the nominations are finally announced.

Below are my predictions for November.  Be sure to also check out my predictions for March and April and May and June and July and August and September and October!

Best Picture 

American Fiction

Barbie

Killers of the Flower Moon

Maestro

May/December

Oppenheimer

Passages

Past Lives

Poor Things

The Zone of Interest

Best Director

Bradley Cooper for Maestro

Greta Gerwig for Barbie

Jonathan Glazer for The Zone of Interest

Christopher Nolan for Oppenheimer

Martin Scorsese for Killers of the Flower Moon

Best Actor

Bradley Cooper in Maestro

Leonardo DiCaprio in Killers of the Flower Moon

Cillian Murphy in Oppenheimer

Franz Rogowski in Passages

Jeffrey Wright in American Fiction

Best Actress

Lily Gladstone in Killers of the Flower Moon

Sandra Huller in Anatomy of a Fall

Carey Mulligan in Maestro

Margot Robbie in Barbie

Emma Stone in Poor Things

Best Supporting Actor

Robert De Niro in Killers of the Flower Moon

Robert Downey, Jr. in Oppenheimer

Ryan Gosling in Barbie

Charles Melton in May/December

Mark Ruffalo in Poor Things

Best Supporting Actress

Emily Blunt in Oppenheimer

Danielle Brooks in The Color Purple

Sandra Huller in Zone of Interest

Julianne Moore in May December

Da’Vine Joy Randolph in The Holdovers

Retro Television Review: Jennifer Slept Here 1.9 “Risky Weekend”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Jennifer Slept Here, which aired on NBC in 1983 and 1984.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, Joey has the house to himself …. kind of.

Episode 1.9 “Risky Weekend”

(Dir by John Bowab, originally aired on April 14th, 1984)

It’s the weekend and George and Susan Elliot are going out of town.  They’re taking their daughter with them but they’re leaving teenage son Joey alone in the house.  George leaves the family’s sailboat sitting on the back patio so that “It will look like we’re still here!”  How could this go wrong?

Jennifer is certainly excited about the house being nearly empty but Joey tells her that he has a big test coming up and he just needs some peace and quiet so that he can concentrate on studying.  Jennifer agrees to leave him alone for the weekend but what she doesn’t know is that Joey is a damn liar.  He and his friend, Marc, are planning on throwing a party.  Woo hoo!  Unfortunately, while Marc is helping to get the house ready for the party, he accidentally gives the sailboat a shove and it crashes into the living room.

Fortunately, Jennifer has come back home and she tells Joey that he should call his parents and just tell them what happened.  Joey, however, decides to take care of the situation himself.  He calls in a local landscaper, Eddie (Hamilton Camp).  Even though Joey doesn’t have enough money to cover the repairs, Eddie says that he’ll fix the damage if Joey allows Eddie’s church to have bingo night in his house.  Again, despite Jennifer’s reservations, Joey agrees.

It turns out that bingo night is actually an illegal casino.  Joey tells Jennifer not to worry about it but, when his mom calls him and says that they’re coming home early, Joey is soon begging Jennifer to help him out.  Jennifer helps Joey put the casino out of business by helping him cheat at all the games.  Myself, I’m just amazed at how quickly the house was transformed into a casino, complete with slot machines, a craps table, and a roulette wheel.  Did Eddie just have all of that stuff sitting in his living room or something?

Anyway, Joey breaks the bank.  All of the gamblers leave but Eddie and his gangsters say that they’re not going anywhere.  Fortunately, Jennifer calls the ghost cops to come and arrest Eddie because …. EDDIE AND HIS ASSOCIATES ARE ALL GHOSTS!

Even though Eddie left behind all of the casino stuff, it has mysteriously disappeared from the house by the time Susan and George return to the house.  George is really impressed by how nice the house looks.  Joey tells his parents about the casino and the ghost cops and they assume that he’s delirious from doing homework all weekend.  Then George goes outside and accidentally crashes the sailboat into the living room again.  What?  How stupid is George?

This was a weird episode.  The plot makes no sense but it’s also so random that it becomes likable in its own strange way.  This is one of those episodes that feels as if it was made up on the spot but Ann Jillian and John P. Navin Jr. both give energetic enough performances that the whole thing somehow holds together.  Then again, maybe I just like movies and TV shows that take place in casinos.  I always appreciate the fact that people dress up to gamble.  Were the gamblers also ghosts or was it just the gangsters?  Weird episode.

The New York Film Critics Circle Honors Killers Of the Flower Moon!


Today, the New York Film Critics Circle announced their picks for the best of 2023, with Oppenheimer picking up awards for Cinematography and Direction while Killers of the Flower Moon won both Best Picture and Best Actress.

I guess the most unexpected result of the voting was Franz Rogowski’s victory for Best Actor.  Over the next few days, we’ll see if that’s an outlier or if Rogowski is going to emerge as a legitimate Oscar contender.

Here are the winners!

Best Film: “Killers of the Flower Moon” (Apple Original Films/Paramount Pictures)

Best Director: Christopher Nolan, “Oppenheimer” (Universal Pictures)

Best Actor: Franz Rogowski, “Passages” (Mubi)

Best Actress: Lily Gladstone, “Killers of the Flower Moon” (Apple Original Films/Paramount Pictures)

Best Supporting Actor: Charles Melton, “May December” (Netflix)

Best Supporting Actress: Da’Vine Joy Randolph, “The Holdovers” (Focus Features)

Best Screenplay: “May December” (Netflix) — Samy Burch, Alex Mechanik

Best Animated Film: “The Boy and the Heron” (GKids)

Best Cinematography: “Oppenheimer” (Universal Pictures) — Hoyte van Hoytema

Best First Film: “Past Lives” (A24) — dir. Celine Song

Best International: “Anatomy of a Fall” (Neon)

Best Non-Fiction Film: “Menus-Plaisirs-Les Troisgros” (Zipporah Films) — dir. Frederick Wiseman

Special mention: The NYFCC awarded cash prizes to two regional students — Mick Gaw (New York University, undergraduate) and Katherine Prior (Brooklyn College, graduate) — focusing on film criticism and journalism.

Special Award: Karen Cooper for her five decades of creative leadership as director of Film Forum.

Music Video of the Day: Arrow to the Knee by Kiki Rockwell, featuring Judith (2023, dir by Liam van den Berk)


Today’s music video of the day comes to us from New Zealand.  Though the story is set in the distant past, the video’s theme of innocent women being abducted by entitled men (some might even call them terrorists) feels incredibly relevant to today.

Enjoy!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 1.9 “Pool Sharks”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire show is streaming on Tubi.

This week, the stakes are huge when two people play a game of pool.

Episode 1.9 “Pool Sharks”

(Dir by Alan Kingsberg, originally aired on December 17th, 1988)

Gabe (Tom Mason) steps into a run-down bar, carrying a pool cue with him.  There’s only three other people in the bar, a bartender (Page Johnson), a nervous man named Lester (Irving Metzman), and a beautiful woman in a black dress who is named Natasha (Rebecca Downs).  Natasha is easily beating Lester in a game of pool.  Gabe says that he wants the next game.

Both Gabe and Natasha are pool hustlers and neither one makes much of an effort to hide it.  Natasha makes a bet.  If Gabe wins their game, Natasha will give him money.  If Natasha wins, Gabe will …. well, Natasha doesn’t really make it clear what Natasha will win, beyond indicating that Gabe will enjoy it.  As Natasha later explains, the bet is less important than getting Gabe to accept it.  As Natasha puts it, accepting the bet is the same as inviting her in.

As the game progresses, it becomes clear that Gabe did not just randomly walk into the bar.  He specifically tracked down Natasha and he’s not surprised when Natasha mentions that she has to be in bed before the sun rises.  Nor is he particularly surprised to discover that Lester is actually Natasha’s servant.  As they play, Natasha uses her eyes and a flash of her thigh to try to hypnotize Gabe.  Gabe, meanwhile, makes sure that she sees the cross that is hanging around his neck.

Now, as you probably already guessed (and I guess this is a SPOILER if you’re planning on watching this episode on Tubi), Natasha is no ordinary pool hustler.  She’s a vampire, one who feasts upon the men who lose to her in a game of pool.  One of Natasha’s more recent victims was Gabe’s brother.  Gabe came to the pool hall looking for revenge but the only way that he’ll be able to get it is if he beats Natasha at pool.  That might not be easy, as Natasha has magic powers.  But Gabe has a cross so this pool game becomes a battle between the profane and the sacred.

I really enjoyed this episode.  Even though it was fairly obvious from the start that Natasha was a vampire (she was even called “Countess” by Lester at one point), the episode was full of sultry and ominous atmosphere.  Tom Mason and Rebecca Downs were both perfectly cast as the rival players and there was a definite undercurrent of sexual tension to their conversations, one that brought a whole new layer to the show’s revenge plot.  Past episodes of Monsters have struggled when it comes to finding an appropriate way to end each week’s story.  This episode, I’m happy to say, had a perfect and very satisfying ending.  This was a good and enjoyable episode, one that felt almost as if it could have been a mini-episode of True Blood.

Next week’s episode features a bed that eats people!  Woo hoo!

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 3.18 and 3.19 “Kinfolk/Sis & the Slicker/Moonlight & Moonshine/Too Close for Comfort/The Affair: Part 2”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, it’s a family affair on The Love Boat!

Episodes 3.18 & 3.19 “Kinfolk/Sis & the Slicker/Moonlight & Moonshine/Too Close for Comfort/The Affair: Part 2”

(Dir by Roger Duchowny, originally aired on January 19th, 1980)

Well, heck, it’s another double-sized, two-hour episode of The Love Boat.

This is actually the third two-hour episode of the third season, following the season premiere and the episode with the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.  I have to admit that I don’t really look forward to these two hour episodes because they’re usually a bit uneven.  The Love Boat was the perfect hour show, one that featured stories that were specifically designed to be neatly wrapped up in 40 minutes.  The two-hour episodes always seem to lose their narrative momentum after that first hour and that’s certainly the case here.

At the center of the episode is Danny Fields (Donny Osmond), a singer who has been booked to perform on the cruise.  Julie is convinced that Danny is going to be a big star and she’s even convinced a talent scout named Steve Sorrell (Rich Little) to board the ship so that he can see Danny perform.  However, Steve is more interested in Kitty Scofield (Loni Anderson), an innocent West Virginia girl who is eager to see the rest of the world but who is also engaged to marry the unambitious Elmer Fargas (Randall Carver).  Kitty is also Danny’s sister and, in fact, Danny’s entire family (played by Richard Paul, Marion Ross, and Slim Pickens) are on the cruise.  Danny is worried that his hillbilly family will stand in the way of his rock ‘n’ roll career and he goes out of his way to avoid them.  While the rest of the Scofields are willing to accept that Danny doesn’t want to associate with them, Grandpa Luke Scofield (Slim Pickens) lets Danny know that he’s not to happy with Danny and his rock ‘n’ roll ways.  Of course, Luke himself is being courted by Brenda Watts (Eve Arden), a writer who wants to write about the Scofield family and who gets close to them by pretending to be from West Virginia herself.

Fortunately, Danny comes to realize the error of his ways, especially after he sees how Steve has been manipulating his sister.  At his next performance, Danny introduces his family and sings Country Roads especially for them.  Meanwhile, Kitty realizes that she needs to be independent for a while so she dumps both Steve and Elmer, though it’s suggested that she’ll eventually give Elmer a second chance.  Brenda comes clean to Luke about not being a hillbilly and Luke eventually forgives her because he’s in love with her and Brenda’s in love with him.  Even old Steve turns out to be not such a bad guy, though he does tell Danny that his record label just isn’t looking for any new country acts.  Hmmm …. maybe Danny should have stuck with the rock ‘n’ roll.  Oh well!

Got all that?  I hope so because I’m not typing all that out again.

Meanwhile, Frank (Robert Guillaume) and Maura Bellocque (Denise Nicholas) are taking the cruise with their best friends, Dave (Richard Roundtree) and Cynthia Wilbur (Pam Grier).  Frank and Cynthia are having an affair and they aren’t particularly discreet about it.  I was expecting Maura to decide that maybe she and Dave should have an affair of their own but instead, she just spent the entire cruise glaring at Frank.  This was actually a surprisingly dramatic story, one that did not end with the expected positive outcome.  (Is this the first cruise of the Love Boat to end in divorce?)  This is a story that demands at least one big, explosive moment but instead, it was all surprisingly low-key.

Finally, the sprinkler system malfunctioned while the boat was in dock and the cabins of Doc, Gopher, and Isaac were flooded.  So, they move in with the Captain!  The Captain is not amused by Doc’s snoring, Gopher’s New Age chanting, or Isaac’s disco dancing.  And when Doc, Gopher, and Isaac all try to bring different women back to the cabin with them, no one is amused by that.  I’m not really sure I understand why they all had move in together.  Why couldn’t Doc just sleep in his doctor’s office and maybe Isaac and Gopher could have shared an empty passenger’s cabin during the cruise?  (Julie did mention that there were some “small” cabins available.)  Anyway, the important thing is that they all manage to survive the cruise without killing each other.

This was an uneven episode.  The Captain annoyed with everyone as funny because Gavin MacLeod was always amusing whenever he acted annoyed.  The storyline with the cheating couple was well-acted, if dramatically a bit unsatisfying.  But then you get to all the stuff about Danny and his country family.  I know that The Love Boat is not meant to be a realistic or particularly nuanced show but still, Danny’s family was portrayed as being such a bunch of hicks that I was half-expecting them to ask the Captain whether he ever worried about the boat sailing over the edge of the world.  Loni Anderson and Slim Pickens gave likable performances but Donny Osmond was incredibly bland as Danny and the scenes where he “performed” featured some truly abysmal lip-synching.  It was also a bit difficult to buy Rich Little as a swinger.  He came across like he just couldn’t wait to get back home and hang out at the Elks Lodge.

This episode probably would have been fun if it had played out over a compact 60 minutes but, at two hours, things were just stretched a bit too thin.

Music Video of the Day: Not Giving Up On Love by Armin van Buuren, featuring Sophie Ellis-Bextor (2010, dir by Sophie Muller)


With the temperature projected to be very, very cold for the next few weeks, I figured now would be the best time to share a bit of sunshine.  I like this video’s sleek, retro feel.  Watching it, I was reminded of the films of Alain Resnais.

Enjoy!