Monthly Archives: March 2023

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 2.7 “Ship of Ghouls”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, Vincent Price comes aboard for a special Halloween episode!

This is actually, the second time that I’ve reviewed this episode.  I also watched and reviewed it back in 2021.  I enjoyed it the first time that I watched it and my opinion remained the same the second time I watched it.  Still, I’m glad that I rewatched the episode as opposed to trying to write a second review from memory.  There were a few details that I had forgotten.

Anyway, it’s time for…. SHIP OF GHOULS!

Episode 2.7 “Ship of Ghouls”

(Originally aired on October 28th, 1978, dir by Roger Duchowny)

It’s time for the annual Halloween cruise and Captain Stubing is super excited because he has hired The Amazing Alonzo (Vincent Price) to provide the cruise’s entertainment.  Alonzo is a master illusionist and hypnotist, who can trick people into seeing just about anything.  The episode really doesn’t explain just how exactly Alonzo is able to hypnotize people by just saying a few words to them but no matter.  This is The Love Boat and Vincent Price is …. well, he’s Vincent Price.  Vincent comes across like he’s having the time of his life in this episode and, as such, we accept that Alonzo can cause a bunch of people to think that Gopher and Doc have been turned into two donkeys.  We accept that he can fool the Captain into thinking that the ship’s pool has been turned into a giant ice cream sundae.  We even accept that he can make Isaac’s head appear in a glass of beer.  We accept all of it because it just feels wrong to get hung up on logic when Vincent Price is involved.

The Amazing Alonzo is having so much fun flirting with his elderly groupies and casting spells that his long-suffering fiancé, Ramona (Joan Blondell), dumps him and instead moves into the Captain’s quarters.  At first, Alonzo is jealous of the Captain but he soon comes to realize that the Captain is not romantically interested in Ramona and is just letting her stay in his quarters because she needs some place to stay.  Alonzo also discovers that he can no longer hypnotize people without Ramona’s support.  At the big Halloween party, Alonzo freezes time and apologizes to Ramona.  He also confesses to her that his real name is Wendell.  They walk out of the ship’s ballroom, hand-in-hand.  Yay!

Needless to say, Vincent Price was the highlight of this episode.  However, as was always the case with The Love Boat, there were other passengers on the cruise.

For instance, nine year-old Bobby Diller (Charlie Aikman) is a habitual liar and prankster.  His behavior may be bratty but that’s largely due to the fact that his parents (Gary Collins and Mary Ann Mobley) are getting back together after previously getting a divorce and he’s worried that they’re going to split up again.  Fortunately, Bobby’s lying comes in handy when he spots Karen (Barbara Anderson) preparing to throw herself overboard.   Bobby tells Karen that his mother committed suicide and that he’s never gotten over it.  Karen changes her mind about committing suicide.  Once Karen is safely back on deck, Bobby admits that he lied but then adds, “It’s the last lie I’ll ever tell!”

Why was Karen suicidal?  Karen was a model until a car accident left her with a scar on her face.  Karen is convinced that no one will ever find her to be beautiful again.  Of course, Gopher and Doc both find her to be beautiful and they spend the entire cruise hitting on her and arguing over which one of them has the right to dance with her and have dinner with her.  (As I’ve said in the past, The Love Boat really was a floating HR nightmare.)  Karen, unfortunately, thinks that they’re just doing this as a favor to Karen’s best friend, cruise director Julie.  Fortunately, Bobby’s lie convinces Karen that people can sincerely care about one another.  Also, Karen realizes that she’s too good for either Gopher or Doc.  Good for her!

This was a good episode.  Vincent Price was a delight as always and Barbara Anderson was sympathetic Karen.  All Halloween cruises should be as entertaining as The Love Boat‘s!

Here’s The Trailer For Asteroid City!

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Judging from the trailer, Asteroid City might be the most Wes Anderson-ish movie that Wes Anderson has ever made.  I have a feeling this is going to be one of those movies that people are either going to love or they’re going to absolutely hate.  I don’t see a lot of middle ground in the future.

Here’s the trailer:

Music Video of the Day: Baltic Sea by J4KE (2023, dir by ????)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RxK5nnaKgY

Today’s music video of the day is nicely ominous and atmospheric little video for J4KE’s Baltic Sea.  Whether it’s intentional or not, this video reminds me a bit of a Ingmar Bergman’s Hour of the Wolf.

Enjoy!

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 2.15 “Cowboy/Substitute Wife”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week is all about deception.

Episode 2.15 “Cowboy/Substitute Wife”

(Dir by Arnold Laven, originally aired on January 20th, 1979)

Brian Kehoe (Hugh O’Brian) is from Texarkana.  In his youth, he was a rodeo rider but now he’s a broken-down old man who works as a rodeo clown.  He’s one of the best in the business and every rodeo rider on Fantasy Island swears that Brian has saved their lives multiple times.  (There’s a surprisingly large amount of rodeo people on Fantasy Island.)  However, Brian is deeply ashamed of just being a clown.  In fact, he’s spent his life telling his 11 year-old son, Tommy (Johnny Timko), that he’s the greatest rodeo champion of all time.

Brian’s fantasy is to be just that.  He’s spending the weekend with his son on Fantasy Island and he wants everyone to treat him like he’s a world famous rodeo star.  However, when he realizes that Tommy wants to see him in action, Brian realizes that he’s going to do have to ride a bull himself.  Unfortunately, Brian just can’t do it.  He’s old and out-of-practice.  So, he and his friends try to play a little trickery on Johnny.  Brian explains that he always wears a bandana over the lower half of his face whenever he rides.  When Tommy is cheering for his father, little does he realize he’s actually cheering for one of his father’s friends.  But when one the real riders is put in danger, Brian has no choice but to reveal the truth.  Of course, that was Mr. Roarke’s plan all along.

This was an okay fantasy.  I appreciated the fact that everyone pronounced rodeo correctly.  There weren’t any Yankees wandering around talking about the “roe-day-o.”  Hugh O’Brian did a good job of portraying the sadness beneath Brian’s confident façade.  And, when Tommy first learns that his father has been lying to him, he has a very honest reaction.  He is pissed off!  It takes Tommy a while to forgive his father.  This was a well-acted little fantasy, even if you never had any real doubt that things would eventually work out.

As for the other fantasy …. bleh.  Jayne Meadows Allen plays Nadine Winslow, a woman who suffers from hypochondria.  Her fantasy is to learn what’s wrong with her.  She’s examined by a Dr. Van Helsing (Hans Conried), who informs her that she only has a few weeks to live.  After Nadine leaves the exam room, we learn that Dr. Van Helsing is actually a waiter and it’s always been his fantasy to tell someone that they only have a few weeks to live.  Between this guy and that Nazi POW camp a few weeks ago, I’m starting to doubt Roarke’s instincts.

Nadine’s new fantasy is to find a new wife for her husband, Harvey (Peter Lawford, who appears to be slightly hung over in most of his scenes).  She settles on Monica (Sherry Jackson), whom Harvey meets during a bizarre Fantasy Island dating game that is hosted by a leering Mr. Roarke.  Monica and Harvey seem like a good couple but then Nadine spots her doctor working as a waiter and she realizes that she’s not dying.  So, she and Harvey get back together and, for some reason, they thank Mr. Roarke as opposed to suing him for emotional distress.  That whole fantasy was just dumb.

So, this was a pretty uneven episode.  I liked the rodeo stuff.  I disliked the death stuff.  That’s the way it usually goes.

Music Video of the Day: You’re Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go, covered by Miley Cyrus (2012, dir by James Minchin III)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

For today’s music video of the day, Miley Cyrus covers Bob Dylan.  It’s a simple video, which is appropriate for both the song and Miley’s version of it.

Enjoy!

Retro Television Review: Hang Time 4.5 “S.A.T. Blues” and 4.6 “Easy Credit”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Hang Time, which ran on NBC from 1995 to 2000.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Season 4 continues!  Maybe this will be the week when it actually gets …. good.

Episode 4.5 “S.A.T. Blues”

(Dir by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on September 26th, 1998)

It’s S.A.T. time!  (Seeing as how Julie and Mary Beth are both in their fifth year of high school, it’s probably a good thing that they finally took the test.)  Everyone does well on the S.A.T. except for Hammer.  But Hammer is convinced that he doesn’t need good test scores because of his talent on the court.  Unfortunately, a recruiter from Duke U. informs Hammer that it doesn’t matter that Hammer single-handedly won the team’s last game.  Duke takes academics very seriously and there’s no way Hammer will ever play for them.  NOT WITH THOSE SCORES!

A dejected Hammer tries to quit the team.  Fortunately, a friend Coach K’s informs Hammer that he can still get into the NBA, even if he does end up going to junior college.  I’m going to guess that Coach K’s friend was played by a real-life basketball player, just because the audience went crazy when he made a basket.  Coach K. also made a basket but, noticeably, it was made through camera trickery because, unlike Reggie Theus, Dick Butkus was not a former basketball player and didn’t come across as being someone who had ever made a basket in his life.  Anyway, Hammer learns an important lesson and agrees to take the test again.  That said, if Hammer was actually as good on the court as he claimed to be, I imagine Duke would have bent the rules for him.

Meanwhile, Julie and Michael celebrate their 2-year anniversary.  After Mary Beth hears Michael talking about getting an expensive “ruby guitar” for himself, she tells Julie that Michael is getting her a “ruby.”  Julie buys Michael an expensive guitar case.  Meanwhile, Michael finds out that Mary Beth told Julie that she’s getting a ruby ring so he sells his guitar so that he can afford to get her the ring.  Somewhere, the angry ghost of O. Henry is researching copyright law.  Anyway, Julie gets mad at Michael for spending too much on her.  Who actually gets mad over something like that?

This episode was not particularly memorable but it wasn’t really bad either.  It was very much a middle-of-the-road Hang Time episode.  An important lesson was learned and the audiences was told to cheer whenever Michael and Julie kissed.  Dick Butkus is still totally unbelievable as a basketball coach.  Let us move on.

Episode 4.6 “Easy Credit”

(Dir by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on September 26th, 1998)

Ugh.  This is another one of those episodes where every complication is due to the characters being idiots.  I hate episodes like this.

In the B-plot, Julie is set to be named Indiana Basketball Player of the Month, because of course she is.  Coach K. doesn’t want Julie to find out before he announces it at the school dance.  However, he makes the mistake of telling Mary Beth and Michael about it and they do such a bad job of hiding how excited they are about Julie winning yet another honor that Julie suspects that something strange is going on.  Through a series of events that are way too annoying for me to detail, this leads to Julie and Kristy thinking that Coach K is going to ask the principal to marry him and this would all be interesting if I had never seen any other shows produced by Peter Engel.

The A-plot is even more aggravating.  Silk has a credit card but he’s only supposed to use it for emergencies.  But he ends up using it to buy stuff for himself and his friends.  He also ends up with a huge credit card bill.  Instead of getting a job or asking his parents for the money, he decides to use the credit card to buy a TV so that it can be raffled off at the school dance.  (What?)  Unfortunately, the TV gets broken so Silk, Rico, and Hammer decide to borrow the team van so they can take the TV to Rico’s uncle who is a master at repairing televisions.  Unfortunately, the van breaks down and Silk can’t afford to get it fixed because the credit card is maxed out and….

….

….

Sorry, I was silently screaming.  This was such an annoying episode.  I’m done talking about it.  Everything worked out and Silk learned an important lesson about not being an irresponsible dummy.  Yay!

Monday Live Tweet Alert: Join Us For Miami Connection and Dressed to Kill!

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in hosting a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

 

Tonight, for #MondayActionMovie, the film will be 1987’s Miami Connection!  Selected and hosted by Matthew Titus, this movie takes place in Miami, at the height of the cocaine boom!  So, you know it has to be good!

 

Following #MondayActionMovie, Brad and Sierra will be hosting the #MondayMuggers live tweet.  We will be watching 1981’s Dressed to Kill, starring Michael Caine and Angie Dickinson!  The film is on Prime!

It should make for a night of fun viewing and I invite all of you to join in.  If you want to join the live tweets, just hop onto twitter, pull up Miami Connection on YouTube, start the movie at 8 pm et, and use the #MondayActionMovie hashtag!  Then, at 10 pm et, switch over to Prime, start Dressed to Kill, and use the #MondayMuggers hashtag!  The live tweet community is a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.   

 

Scenes I Love: The Beginning of The Fifth Chapter of Inglourious Basterds

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

This is, without a doubt, one of the best sequences that Quentin Tarantino has ever directed.  Along with the perfect visuals of Shoshanna getting ready for the premiere, Tarantino makes perfect use of Theme From Cat People, reinventing the song from a somewhat silly horror theme to an anthem of revolution and revenge.