Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 2.12 “Charlie’s Cherubs/Stalag 3”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Fantasy Island is invaded by Nazis and Angels!

Episode 2.3 “Charlie’s Cherubs/Stalag 3”

(Dir by Cliff Bole, originally aired on December 9th, 1978)

Today’s episode begins with Mr. Roarke noticing that Tattoo is carrying a calculator with him.

“What is that, Tattoo?” he asks.

“A mini-computer,” Tattoo replies, “My cousin Igor sent it to me.  Computers can take away a lot of guess work.”

Mr. Roarke, obviously thinking that these “computer” things are but a mere fad, replies, “So can bikinis.  Let us meet our guests.”

This week, all of the guests have dangerous fantasies.  For instance, Danny Ryan (Cornel Wilde) is a World War II veteran who has never really been able to make it in the post-War world.  So, he invites three fellow vets to return with him to the French town in which they spent 1944.  During the War, they were POWS at Stalag 3 but they were famous for continually outsmarting Commandant Horst Von Stern (Nehemiah Persoff).  In fact, Von Stern’s career and reputation never really recovered from the time that Danny and his friends escaped.  (I imagine that, after the war, Von Stern’s reputation was also damaged by the fact that he was a freaking Nazi commandant.)  Not only has Mr. Roarke arranged for the old French village — complete with Fifi of the Resistance (played by Yvonne DeCarlo) — to be moved to Fantasy Island but he also brought over the old POW camp.  Unfortunately, Von Stern decides to come over as well and get his revenge by tossing Danny and friends back in the camp.

“You see,” Von Stern announces, “generals have fantasies too.”

What the Hell is going on with this Island?  Does Mr. Roarke just give anyone a fantasy, even a Nazi war criminal?  Actually, it appears that Mr. Roarke doesn’t know that Von Stern has come to the Island nor does he know that there is a treasure of stolen diamonds hidden in the village.  Apparently, Roarke decided to just let this fantasy run on autopilot without actually bothering to check in with what was going on.

Both Mr. Roarke and Tattoo are more concerned with the three secretaries (Melinda Naud, Brenda Benet, and Bond Gideon) who want to be Charlie’s Angels and solve a crime.  The crime involves a theft on Fantasy Island and …. well, it’s really not much of a mystery.  It’s basically a 20-minutes episode of Charlie’s Angels, with a bit less action but a lot more scenes of people saying stuff like, “He knows about electronics so he’s the thief!”  It was really a weak fantasy, which is a shame because, if I ever went to Fantasy Island, I would probably want to be a detective as well!

The show ends with Von Stern being sent to Germany to be put on trial for war crimes and the Angels saying that they’re ready to be secretaries again.  Roarke informs them that most angels fantasize about being secretaries.  Uhmmm, Mr. Roarke …. the proper term is administrative professional.  Everything appears to be wrapped up but, as the show ends, Tattoo announces that someone has stolen his mini-computer and Mr. Roarke laughs at his assistant’s misfortune.  Perhaps Tattoo losing his most prized possession was Roarke’s fantasy.

This was a weird episode.  Mr. Roarke might need to pay closer attention to what’s happening on his island!

The American Society of Cinematographers Honors Elvis!


The last of the Oscar precursors, the American Society of Cinematographers, have announced their picks for the best of 2022.

And here they are!

Feature
Roger Deakins, ASC, BSC for “Empire of Light” (Searchlight Pictures)
Greig Fraser, ASC, ACS for “The Batman” (Warner Bros.)
Darius Khondji, ASC, AFC for “Bardo, False Chronicle of a Handful of Truths” (Netflix)
Claudio Miranda, ASC for “Top Gun: Maverick” (Paramount Pictures)
Mandy Walker, ASC, ACS for “Elvis” (Warner Bros.)

Spotlight
Sturla Brandth Grøvlen, DFF for “War Sailor” (DCM Film)

Kate McCullough, ISC for “The Quiet Girl” (Super)
Andrew Wheeler for “God’s Country” (IFC Films)

Documentary
Ben Bernhard and Riju Das for “All That Breathes” (HBO/HBO Max)
Adam Bricker for “Chef’s Table: Pizza” – “Franco Pepe” (Netflix)
Wolfgang Held, ASC for “This Stolen Country of Mine”

Motion Picture, Limited Series, or Pilot Made for Television
Todd Banhazl, ASC for “Winning Time: The Rise of the Lakers Dynasty” – “The Swan” (HBO/HBO Max)
Jeremy Benning, CSC for “Guillermo del Toro’s Cabinet of Curiosities” – “The Outside” (Netflix)
Anastas Michos, ASC, GSC for “Guillermo del Toro’s Cabinet of Curiosities” – “The Autopsy” (Netflix)
C. Kim Miles, ASC, CSC, MySC for “Lost Ollie” – “Bali Hai” (Netflix)
Sean Porter for “The Old Man” – “I” (FX)

Episode of a One-Hour Television Series – Non-Commercial
John Conroy, ASC, ISC for “Westworld” – “Années Folles” (HBO/HBO MAX)
Catherine Goldschmidt for “House of the Dragon” – “The Lord of the Tides” (HBO/HBO MAX)
Alejandro Martinez for “House of the Dragon” – “The Green Council” (HBO/HBO MAX)
M. David Mullen, ASC for “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” – “How Do You Get to Carnegie Hall?” (Prime Video)
Alex Nepomniaschy, ASC for “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”– “Everything is Bellmore” (Prime Video)
Nikolaus Summerer for “1899” – “The Calling” (Netflix)

Episode of a One-Hour Television Series – Commercial
Marshall Adams, ASC for “Better Call Saul” – “Saul Gone” (AMC)
Jesse M. Feldman for “Interview With the Vampire” – “Is My Very Nature That of the Devil” (AMC)
Christian “Tico” Herrera, CCR for “Snowfall” – “Departures” (FX)
Jules O’Loughlin, ASC, ACS for “The Old Man” – “IV” (FX)
Jaime Reynoso, AMC for “Snowpiercer” – “Bound by One Track” (TNT)

Episode of a Half-Hour Television Series
Adam Bricker for “Hacks” – “The Click” (HBO/HBO MAX)
Carl Herse for “Barry” – “Starting Now” (HB0/HBO MAX)
Stephen Murphy BSC, ISC for “Atlanta” – “New Jazz” (FX)
Ula Pontikos, BSC for “Russian Doll” – “Matryoshka” (Netflix)
Christian Sprenger, ASC for “Atlanta” – “Andrew Wyeth. Alfred’s World.” (FX)

The WGA Honors Everything


On Sunday night, the Writers Guild of America announced their picks for the best of 2022!  And here they are:

FILM AWARDS

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Everything Everywhere All At Once – Written by Daniel Kwan & Daniel Scheinert; A24
The Fabelmans – Written by Steven Spielberg & Tony Kushner; Universal Pictures
The Menu – Written by Seth Reiss & Will Tracy; Searchlight Pictures
Nope – Written by Jordan Peele; Universal Pictures
Tár – Written by Todd Field; Focus Features

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Black Panther: Wakanda Forever – Screenplay by Ryan Coogler & Joe Robert Cole, Story by Ryan Coogler, Based on the Marvel Comics; Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery – Written by Rian Johnson; Netflix
She Said – Screenplay by Rebecca Lenkiewicz, Based on the New York Times Investigation by Jodi Kantor, Megan Twohey and Rebecca Corbett and the Book She Said by Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohey; Universal Pictures
Top Gun: Maverick – Screenplay by Ehren Kruger and Eric Warren Singer and Christopher McQuarrie, Story by Peter Craig and Justin Marks, Based on Characters Created by Jim Cash & Jack Epps, Jr.; Paramount Pictures
Women Talking – Screenplay by Sarah Polley, Based upon the Book by Miriam Toews; Orion Pictures/MGM

DOCUMENTARY SCREENPLAY
2nd Chance – Written by Ramin Bahrani; Showtime Documentary Films
Downfall: The Case Against Boeing – Written by Mark Bailey & Keven McAlester; Netflix
Last Flight Home – Written by Ondi Timoner; MTV Documentary Films
Moonage Daydream – Written by Brett Morgen; Neon
¡Viva Maestro! – Written by Theodore Braun; Greenwich Entertainment

TELEVISION AWARDS

DRAMA SERIES
Andor – Written by Dan Gilroy, Tony Gilroy, Stephen Schiff, Beau Willimon; Disney+
Better Call Saul – Written by Ann Cherkis, Vince Gilligan, Peter Gould, Ariel Levine, Thomas Schnauz, Gordon Smith, Alison Tatlock; AMC
The Crown – Written by Peter Morgan; Netflix
Severance – Written by Chris Black, Andrew Colville, Kari Drake, Dan Erickson, Mark Friedman, Helen Leigh, Anna Ouyang Moench, Amanda Overton; Apple TV+
Yellowjackets – Written by Cameron Brent Johnson, Katherine Kearns, Jonathan Lisco, Ashley Lyle, Bart Nickerson, Liz Phang, Ameni Rozsa, Sarah L. Thompson, Chantelle M. Wells; Showtime

COMEDY SERIES
Abbott Elementary – Written by Quinta Brunson, Ava Coleman, Riley Dufurrena, Justin Halpern, Joya McCrory, Morgan Murphy, Brittani Nichols, Kate Peterman, Brian Rubenstein, Patrick Schumacker, Justin Tan, Jordan Temple, Garrett Werner; ABC
Barry – Written by Emma Barrie, Alec Berg, Duffy Boudreau, Bill Hader, Emily Heller, Nicky Hirschhorn, Jason Kim, Liz Sarnoff; HBO/HBO Max
The Bear – Written by Karen Joseph Adcock, Joanna Calo, Rene Gube, Sofya Levitsky-Weitz, Alex O’Keefe, Catherine Schetina, Christopher Storer; FX Networks
Hacks – Written by Lucia Aniello, Jessica Chaffin, Paul W. Downs, Ariel Karlin, Andrew Law, Joe Mande, Aisha Muharrar, Pat Regan, Samantha Riley, Jen Statsky; HBO/HBO Max
Only Murders in the Building – Written by Matteo Borghese, Rachel Burger, Kirker Butler, Valentina Garza, Madeleine George, Joshua Allen Griffith, John Hoffman, Noah Levine, Stephen Markley, Kristin Newman, Ben Philippe, Ben Smith, Rob Turbovsky; Hulu

NEW SERIES
Abbott Elementary – Written by Quinta Brunson, Ava Coleman, Riley Dufurrena, Justin Halpern, Joya McCrory, Morgan Murphy, Brittani Nichols, Kate Peterman, Brian Rubenstein, Patrick Schumacker, Justin Tan, Jordan Temple, Garrett Werner; ABC
Andor – Written by Dan Gilroy, Tony Gilroy, Stephen Schiff, Beau Willimon; Disney+
Bad Sisters – Written by Brett Baer, Dave Finkel, Sharon Horgan; Apple TV+
The Bear – Written by Karen Joseph Adcock, Joanna Calo, Rene Gube, Sofya Levitsky-Weitz, Alex O’Keefe, Catherine Schetina, Christopher Storer; FX Networks
Severance – Written by Chris Black, Andrew Colville, Kari Drake, Dan Erickson, Mark Friedman, Helen Leigh, Anna Moench, Amanda Overton; Apple TV+

LIMITED SERIES
The Dropout– Written by Hilary Bettis, Liz Hannah, Liz Heldens, Dan LeFranc, Sofya Levitsky-Weitz, Matt Lutsky, Elizabeth Meriwether, Wei-Ning Yu; Hulu
Fleishman Is In Trouble – Written by Taffy Brodesser-Akner, Cindy Chupack, Allison P. Davis, Mike Goldbach, Boo Killebrew; FX Networks
Pam & Tommy – Written by Brooke Baker, Matthew Bass, Theodore Bressman, D.V. DeVincentis, Sarah Gubbins, Robert Siegel; Hulu
The Staircase – Written by Aisha Bhoori, Antonio Campos, Maggie Cohn, Aja Gabel, Emily Kaczmarek, Craig Shilowich, Sebastian Silva; HBO/HBO Max
The White Lotus – Written by Mike White; HBO/HBO Max

TV & NEW MEDIA MOTION PICTURES
Heart of the Matter – Written by Karen Struck; Hallmark Channel
Honor Society – Written by David A. Goodman; Paramount +
Ray Donovan: The Movie – Written by David Hollander & Liev Schreiber; Showtime
Torn Hearts – Written by Rachel Koller Croft; Epix
Weird: The Al Yankovic Story – Written by Al Yankovic & Eric Appel; The Roku Channel

ANIMATION
“Girls Just Shauna Have Fun” (The Simpsons) – Written by Jeff Westbrook; Fox
“The Pain Garden” (Tuca & Bertie) – Written by Lisa Hanawalt; Adult Swim
“Pixelated and Afraid” (The Simpsons) – Written by John Frink, Fox
“Rectify” (Undone) – Written by Elijah Aron & Patrick Metcalf; Prime Video
“The Sound of Bleeding Gums” (The Simpsons) – Written by Loni Steele Sosthand; Fox
“To Bob, or Not To Bob” (Bob’s Burgers) – Written by Lizzie Molyneux-Logelin & Wendy Molyneux; Fox

EPISODIC DRAMA
“A Hard Way to Go” (Ozark) – Written by Chris Mundy; Netflix
“The End of Everything” (The Good Fight) – Written by Robert King & Michelle King; Paramount+
“Plan and Execution” (Better Call Saul) – Written by Thomas Schnauz; AMC
“The Prick” (Bad Sisters) – Teleplay by Sharon Horgan and Dave Finkel & Brett Baer; Apple TV+
“Rock and Hard Place” (Better Call Saul) – Written by Gordon Smith; AMC
“The We We Are” (Severance) – Written by Dan Erickson; Apple TV+

EPISODIC COMEDY
“The Beginning” (Grace and Frankie) – Written by Marta Kauffman & Howard J. Morris; Netflix
“Braciole” (The Bear) – Written by Joanna Calo & Christopher Storer; FX Networks
“Foie Gras” (Julia) – Written by Daniel Goldfarb & Chris Keyser; HBO/HBO Max
“Private School” (What We Do in the Shadows) – Written by Ayo Edebiri & Shana Gohd; FX Networks
“The One, The Only” (Hacks) – Written by Lucia Aniello & Paul W. Downs & Jen Statsky; HBO/HBO Max
“Wide Net” (Reservation Dogs) – Written by Tazbah Rose Chavez; FX Networks

COMEDY/VARIETY TALK SERIES
“Full Frontal With Samantha Bee”
“Hell of a Week With Charlamagne Tha God”
“Jimmy Kimmel Live!”
“Late Night With Seth Meyers”
“Last Week Tonight With John Oliver”
“The Problem With Jon Stewart”
“Stephen Colbert Presents Tooning Out the News”

COMEDY/VARIETY SKETCH SERIES
“Inside Amy Schumer”
“Pause With Sam Jay”
“Saturday Night Live”

COMEDY/VARIETY SPECIALS
“The National Memorial Day Concert”
“Stand Out: an LGBTQ+ Celebration”
“The Problem With Jon Stewart: Election Wrap-Up Special”
“Jerrod Carmichael: Rothaniel”

QUIZ AND AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION
“Baking It”
“Capital One College Bowl”
“Jeopardy!”
“Weakest Link”

DAYTIME DRAMA
“Days of Our Lives”

CHILDREN’S EPISODIC, LONG FORM AND SPECIALS
“A Perilous Journey” – “The Mysterious Benedict Society”
“Thursday” – “Life by Ella”
“Pilot” – “Amber Brown”
“Prison or Palace” – “Life by Ella”
“Test Subject Thirteen” – “Circuit Breakers”

SHORT FORM NEW MEDIA
“Breakwater”
“Carpool Karaoke: The Series”
“Three Busy Debras”

DOCUMENTARY SCRIPT — CURRENT EVENTS
“Episode Two: Resilience” – “Hiding in Plain Sight: Youth Mental Illness,” PBS
“Inside the Alleged Sexual Assault Cover Up in Charlotte Schools” – “Vice News Tonight”
“Lies, Politics and Democracy” – “Frontline”

DOCUMENTARY SCRIPT — OTHER THAN CURRENT EVENTS
“Episode Two: An American (1775-1790)” – “Benjamin Franklin,” PBS
“Episode One: The Golden Door (Beginnings-1938)” – “The U.S. and the Holocaust,” PBS
“Lucy and Desi”
“Ocean Invaders” – “Nova”
“Pelosi’s Power” – “Frontline”
“Plague at the Golden Gate” – “American Experience,” PBS

NEWS SCRIPT — REGULARLY SCHEDULED, BULLETIN, OR BREAKING REPORT
“Massacre in Buffalo” – “CBS Weekend News”
“Shooting at Robb Elementary” – “World News Tonight With David Muir”
“Special Edition: From the Ukraine Border” – “World News Tonight With David Muir”
“The Water Crisis in Jackson, Mississippi” – “CBS Evening News With Norah O’Donnell”

NEWS SCRIPT — ANALYSIS, FEATURE, OR COMMENTARY
“Battle for Ukraine” – “20/20”
“City of Lions” – “60 Minutes”
“The Green Jacket – Golf’s Ultimate Prize” – “CBS Saturday Morning”
“Harvest of War” – “60 Minutes”
“The Longest Running Oil Spill” – “60 Minutes”
“Targeting Americans” – “60 Minutes”

DIGITAL NEWS
“America’s Only LGBTQ Historic District Is Falling Apart,” Vice
“How Oregon’s Prison System Retaliated Against Its Most Effective Jailhouse Lawyer,” HuffPost
“I Spent 72 Depraved Hours Searching for the Gnarliest Dive Bar in Las Vegas,” Vice
“The Most Unexpected Consequence of the Texas Abortion Ban,” Slate
“What’s So Scary About a Transgender Child,” Vox

RADIO/AUDIO DOCUMENTARY
“Dr. GIFT” – “One Year: 1995”
“Like a Lion with No Teeth” – “Crime Show”
“Making Sense: How Sound Becomes Hearing” – “Unexplainable”
“The Most Famous Poet No One Remembers” – “Decoder Ring”
“No Peace” – “Slow Burn: The L.A. Riots”
“The Ultimate Field Trip” – “One Year: 1986”
“The War in Jennifer Weiss” – “Crime Show”

RADIO/AUDIO NEWS SCRIPT — REGULARLY SCHEDULED, BULLETIN, OR BREAKING REPORT
“CBS World News Roundup”
“Hail And Farewell: Saluting 5 Who Made a Difference,” CBS Radio
“Newsline – 11am 9/9/22,” CBS Radio
“World News This Week – Week of September 9, 2022,” ABC Radio
“World News This Year 2021,” ABC News Radio

RADIO/AUDIO NEWS SCRIPT — ANALYSIS, FEATURE, OR COMMENTARY
“2021 Law and Justice Year End Reports” – ABC News Radio
“Was the Women’s March Successful?” – “The Waves”
“WCBS Author Talks Summer Reads” – WCBS Radio
“What I Wish I Knew Before I Started IVF” – “The Waves”
“You Will Be Found: The Impact of Dear Evan Hansen” – (“Somalia Suffering From Starvation” – “Perspective”ABC Audio

ON-AIR PROMOTION
“Amazon Bessemer Campaign: This Time I’m Voting Yes; Union Difference; Union Yes,” Facebook
“CBS Celebrates Juneteenth,” CBS News