Retro Television Review: City Guys 4.6 “Students of the Bride” and 4.7 “Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing City Guys, which ran on NBC from 1997 to 2001.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, Ms. Noble gets married and her students get involved for some reason.

Episode 4.6 “Students of the Bride”

(Dir by Frank Bonner, originally aired on October 7th, 2000)

Ms. Noble’s wedding day is coming up and, because Ms. Noble is the most unprofessional educator in New York, she allows her students to find out that she doesn’t have a dress, a venue, a cake, a florist, or a wedding band.  Jamal, Cassidy, Dawn, L-Train, Al, and Chris step up to help Ms. Noble plan her wedding.

……

Are you freaking kidding me?

Look, I love weddings as much as anyone.  I love planning them and I love telling people what they have to wear and I love coming up with the song list for the reception.  But seriously — MS. NOBLE IS THE PRINCIPAL!  Add to that, she’s an adult and so is the man she’s supposed to marry.  Why are they incapable of planning their own wedding?  Why are a bunch of high school students throwing a bachelor party for Billy?  Doesn’t Billy have any friends his own age?  Speaking of which, does not Ms. Noble have anyone her own age to help her plan her wedding?  Do neither of these two have any family in New York?  How does this make any freaking sense!?

Anyway, it turns out that having a bunch of high school kids plan your bachelor party is a mistake because Ms. Noble gets upset when she sees Billy dancing with the hula girls that L-Train brought to the school.  (Of course, they have the bachelor party on the roof of Manny High.)  Ms. Noble and Billy fight and say that maybe they shouldn’t get married.  The kids make it their mission to make sure that Ms. Noble gets married to Billy.  “Ms. Noble’s getting married if I have to marry her myself!” Jamal says.  SHE’S YOUR PRINCIPAL, YOU WEIRDO!

Oh!  And Jamal and Cassidy briefly fall in love but then they realize that it’s just because they’ve been working on the wedding and they’re both in a romantic mood.  Remember when Cassidy was dating Chris?  Whatever happened with that?

God, this is a stupid episode.  Ms. Noble does get married at the end of the episode so yay.  Let’s move on.

Episode 4.7 “Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems”

(Dir by Frank Bonner, originally aired on October 14th, 2000)

L-Train invents a glow-in-the-dark basketball.  Al, Chris, and Jamal form a company to sell the ball.  Al lets the power go to his head and he learns an important lesson about how to treat his employees.  Good for him.  I think the more important question raised by this episode is why they allowed this to happen with Chris’s hair.

I mean, Scott Whyte was not a bad-looking guy but he spent the majority of City Guys with the least flattering haircut imaginable.

While Al is learning an important lesson about business, Dawn is getting cast in a commercial and Cassidy’s getting jealous.  Cassidy gives Dawn a lot of bad advice, which Dawn believes because Dawn could be an incredibly stupid character.  After Cassidy comes clean, Dawn steps aside so that Cassidy can fulfill her dream of acting in a commercial.  Of course, this all leads to Cassidy getting hit in the face with a pie.  Ugh.  I hate pie gags.  They always look so messy.

This was a fairly middling episode but Steven Daniel did get a chance to show off his physical comedy skills when L-Train was left alone in the basketball factory.  That was definitely a plus.  As well, no one was roped into helping Ms. Noble plan her honeymoon so that was another plus.

Next week, the neat guys continue to be smart and streetwise!

Film Review: Deadly Hero (dir by Ivan Nagy)


First released in 1975, Deadly Hero tells the story of Edward Lacy (Don Murray).

Lacy is an 18-year veteran of the New York Police Department and a proud family man.  Lacy is clean-cut, handsome in a blandly pleasant way, and he has a wife and several children.  He’s a member of the Knights of Columbus and there are times when he imagines himself pursuing a career in politics.  One of the first things that we see Lacy do is introduce an anti-crime mayoral candidate named Reilly (George S. Irving) at a Knights of Columbus rally.  Lacy goes out of his way to make sure that he and his family make a good impression but Reilly barely seems to notice him.

Lacy is also a racist who enjoys pulling and using his gun.  He was once a detective but a long string of brutality complaints has led to him being demoted back down to being a patrolman.  He and his partner (Treat Williams, making his film debut) spend their time patrolling the streets of New York City, getting dirty looks and verbal abuse from the people who they are supposed to be protecting.  Much like Travis Bickle in the following year’s Taxi Driver, Lacy obsesses on the crime and the decay that he sees all around him.

Sally (Diahn Williams) lives a life that is a hundred times different from Lacy’s.  She’s a cellist and a conductor.  She spends her days teaching and her nights conducting at an avant-garde theater.  Sally and Lacy have little in common but their lives become intertwined when Sally is attacked and briefly held hostage by a mentally disturbed mugger named Rabbit (James Earl Jones).  Responding to a call put in by Sally’s neighbor (Lila Skala), Lacy discovers Rabbit holding a knife to Sally’s throat in the hallway of Sally’s apartment building.  At first, Lacy handles the situation calmly and he manages to talk Rabbit into not only releasing Sally but also dropping his knife.  However, instead of arresting the now unarmed and docile Rabbit, Lacy shoots and kills him.

Knowing that he’s about to be investigated and that he’s made enemies in the department due to his political activities, Lacy convinces the still-shocked Sally to lie and say that she witnessed Rabbit lunging for Lacy’s gun before Lacy fired.  Lacy is proclaimed a hero and soon, Reilly is inviting him to appear at rallies with him.  Lacy’s political dreams seem to be coming true but Sally starts to feel guilty about lying.  Realizing that Sally is planning on revealing the truth about what happened, Lacy goes to extreme measures to try to keep her quiet.

Deadly Hero is an interesting film, one that is certainly flawed but which ultimately works as a portrait of the authoritarian mindset.  Ivan Nagy directs without much visual flair and, especially at the start of the film, he struggles to maintain a consistent pace.  For instance, the scene where Rabbit initially menaces Sally seems to go on forever, long beyond whatever was necessary to convince the audience that Rabbit was a dangerous guy.  (With the amount of time that Nagy lingers over shots of Sally being menaced by Rabbit, I was not surprised to read that Nagy and Dianh Williams apparently did not get along during filming.)  That said, the film’s low budget actually works to its advantage, with the grainy cinematography giving the film a gritty, documentary feel.  The film was shot on location in New York City and it’s interesting to watch the actors interact with real New Yorkers.  While Lacy is never a sympathetic character, seeing the actual streets of New York does go a long way to explaining why he’s so paranoid.  This is one of the many 70s films in which the overriding message seemed to be that New York City was the worst place on the planet.

The film is dominated by Don Murray, who plays Lacy as being a blue-collar fascist who has learned how to hide his anger and his hatred behind a quick smile and an outwardly friendly manner.  Feeling confident that everyone will back him up, he has no hesitation about executing an unarmed black man.  Even when it becomes obvious that Sally is not going to continue to lie about what happened, Lacy is still arrogant enough to assume that he can charm her into changing her mind.  When that doesn’t work, Lacy becomes increasingly unhinged and vindictive.  The film’s final ambiguous image suggests that there really is no way to escape the Edward Lacys of the world.

With its portrayal of a violent cop who is convinced that he will be protected by the system, Deadly Hero feels extremely relevant today.  Of course, Deadly Hero also suggests that the same system that Lacy is exploiting can be used to take him down, with Lacy eventually being investigated by both Internal Affairs and the District Attorney’s office.  The film leaves it ambiguous as to whether or not the rest of the police are as dangerous as Lacy.  Is Lacy a product of the system or is he just someone who has figured out how to exploit the system?  To its detriment, that’s a question that the film doesn’t answer.  Still, much like Harvey Hart’s similarly underappreciated Shoot, Deadly Hero is an always-interesting and occasionally insightful look at the authoritarian mindset.

Music Video of the Day: Goodbye to You by Michelle Branch (2006, dir by Francis Lawrence)


Today’s music video of the day is another break-up anthem.  In this case, it’s Michelle Branch singing Goodbye To You while going through all of her break-up rituals.  These rituals include going to a pawnshop and exchanging her ring for a guitar and taking a goldfish to the beach.  Along the way to the beach, she witnesses a forest fire.  The fire actually looks pretty serious and undoubtedly, many lives were lost as a result.  However, this video reminds us that nothing is more important than going to the beach and singing away your troubles.

(To be honest, I’m surprised the roads weren’t closed because that forest fire looked really dangerous.  I know that California gets a new wildfire every week but still, I found myself wondering if Michelle’s going to have a home to which to return once she gets finished singing on the beach.)

This video was directed by Francis Lawrence, who also did The Hunger Games sequels.  If Jennifer Lawrence had been driving that car, she would have gotten out and helped to put out that fire.  I mean, I like the beach too and there’s even a little downtown pawnshop that I love but even I know that there are things that are more important.

Enjoy!

Cover-Up (1991, directed by Manny Coto)


After an overseas U.S. army base is bombed by terrorists, L.A. Times reporter Mike Anderson (Dolph Lundgren) is sent to Israel to get the story.  Before he became a reporter, Mike was a Marine and he has connections within the U.S. intelligence services.  Mike quickly figures out that CIA honcho Lou Jackson (Lou Gossett, Jr.) is covering something up about the bombing.  The terrorists who bombed the base have also stolen an experimental nerve gas.  Mike is ordered to stay out of the investigation but after Mike’s best friend, Jeff Cooper (John Finn), is blown up by a car bomb, Mike is determined to get justice.  He’s also determined to sleep with his dead best friend’s girlfriend (Lisa Berkley), who is also Mike’s ex.  It turns out that it’s a lot easier to betray a friend’s confidence than to stop terrorists from stealing nerve gas.

When it came to the second-tier action stars of the 90s, Jean-Claude Van Damme was the one who could actually do everything that he did on screen in real life, Steven Seagal was the one who never seemed to get the joke, and Dolph Lundgren was the one who could actually act.  Even in a film that was pure schlock, like Cover-Up, Lundgren usually gave a good performance.  Unfortunately, Lundgren’s performance couldn’t make up for Cover-Up‘s anemic action scenes and incoherent plot.  No one seems to be sure what they’re supposed to be doing in this movie.  Lou Gossett, Jr. survives by playing his role as being pissed off all the time.  Lundgren survives by playing Mike as being even more confused than Gossett.  There’s a weak car chase and a weak shower scene.  Mike really doesn’t waste any time when it comes to hooking up with his best friend’s girl.

Cover-Up was filmed on location in Israel and it does work as a travelogue.  Towards the end of the film, Lundgren runs through a mass of people who are reenacting the Twelve Stations of Christ.  The people were actually in Israel to celebrate Easter and no one informed them that they were about to become a part of a movie.  When Lundgren comes barreling through the crowd, their shock is authentic.  It’s the best part of the movie, even if it did lead to Lundgren being temporarily detained by security.  Fortunately, production was able to clear-up the misunderstanding and Lundgren was freed so that he could go on to star in Universal Soldier and reprise Ivan Drago in Creed II.  I’m glad the Lundgren survived filming but Cover-Up is otherwise forgettable.

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 2.5 “Julie’s Aunt/Where Is It Written?/The Big Deal”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Things get a bit icky this week.  Ugh!

Episode 2.5 “Julie’s Aunt/Where Is It Written?/The Big Deal”

(Dir by Allen Baron, originally aired on October 14th, 1978)

How icky can one cruise get?

Well, consider this.  On this week’s episode of The Love Boat, Captain Stubing’s uncle (Red Buttons) is a passenger on the boat.  Uncle Cyrus decides that he likes Julie.  How does he express how much he likes Julie?  He invites her to his cabin and then lunges at her and starts kissing her.  Julie runs out of the cabin and Uncle Cyrus chases her through the corridors of the boat.  Once Julie does get away from him, she tells Doc and Gopher about what happened.  Doc and Gopher both think that it’s funny.

(Uhmm, guys, this isn’t some old guy with a crush.  This is someone who invited the cruise director to his cabin …. AND ATTACKED HER!)

Everyone agrees that Julie should just try to avoid Cyrus and that she should not tell the Captain about what happened.  Unfortunately, because Uncle Cyrus told the Captain about how much he enjoys Julie’s company, Stubing insists that Julie spend as much time as possible with Uncle Cyrus.  Every time that Julie goes down to his cabin, Cyrus grabs her and starts kissing her.  Scene after scene, Julie has to push Cyrus off of her so that she can escape, screaming, into the hallway.

Finally, realizing that she can’t go on like this, Julie realizes that she has to do something, even if both Doc Bricker and Gopher refuse to take the situation seriously.  Out of the three choice below, which do you think she goes with?

  1. Call the police
  2. Tell Captain Stubing and demand that he call the police
  3. Have Gopher dress up like a woman and pretend to be a member of the police

If you picked number three, you could have been a writer for The Love Boat!

Ugh!  I hated everything about this storyline!

I wasn’t a fan of the other two storylines as well.  The first featured Hope Lange as Sandra Newberry, the wife of publisher Alfred Newberry (Gene Barry).  She is upset to discover that Alfred has invited a Norman Maileresque writer named Mark Littlejohn (Richard Mulligan) to accompany them on the cruise.  Alfred wants Mark to hurry up and finish the final chapter of his autobiography.  Make wants to steal Sandra away.  In the end, Alfred and Mark get into a fight.  They’re too clumsy to actually hit each other but they do manage to knock out Captain Stubing.  Again, you would think that this would be the sort of thing that would eventually involve the police but instead Stubing just accepts a payment that will come from the royalties of Mark’s book.  Whatever.  Go deal with your uncle, Captain.

Finally, Martin Scott (Allen Ludden) is a businessman who is selling his business to Brad Collins (Sam Groom).  Martin’s daughter, Allison (Mackenzie Phillips), feels like she has to date Brad even though she’s actually in love with a musician named Jim Warren (Erik Estrada).  It was hard not to feel that, intentionally or not, Martin was basically pimping out his daughter.  Again, it was just icky.

This was not a fun cruise.  Hopefully, next week will be better.

Film Review: Luther: The Fallen Sun (dir by Jamie Payne)


A serial killer (Andy Serkis) is terrorizing London.

With the help of a worldwide network of hackers, the Killer is able to spy on random people and catch them doing and saying things online that they wouldn’t want their friends, families, and coworkers to find out about.  The Killer than blackmails his targets, forcing them into committing bigger and bigger crimes for him.  The Killer pushes his victims to their limits and then he arranges for them to die.  Sometimes, he kills them.  Sometimes, he forced them to kill themselves.  The Killer is a smirking sadist, a force of chaos who is empowered by the isolation and loneliness of the modern world.

The Killer’s latest victim is a young cleaner who disappears on a rainy night.  Assigned to the case is DCI John Luther (Idris Elba), a detective who is famous for both his brilliance and his determination.  Luther promises the missing cleaner’s mother (Hattie Morahan, giving a poignant performance in a small but important role) that he will find her son.  The Killer is frustrated to discover that Luther doesn’t spend much time online and, hence, cannot be blackmailed.  However, the Killer’s associates discover that Luther has frequently broken the law in order to catch criminals.  When this information is released to the press, Luther is not only kicked off the force but he also ends up in prison.  All of his fellow prisoners want to kill him.  The police view him as being a disgrace.  Luther has very few allies left in the world but he’s determined to keep the promise that he made to the cleaner’s mother.  When the Killer himself starts to send taunting messages to Luther, Luther decides that his only option is escape from prison and bring the Killer to justice himself.

Luther: The Fallen Sun is a follow-up to the BBC television series, which followed Luther as he worked for London’s Metropolitan Police Service and as he struggled with his own personal demons.  The film begins by bringing Luther’s career as a police detective to a close but it also ends with the suggestion of new career path for John Luther.  In between, we watch as Luther chases the Killer through London and eventually across Europe.  Sometimes opposing  him and sometimes helping him is his former boss, Martin Schenk (Dermot Crowley), and his replacement, DCI Odette Raine (Cynthia Erivo).

Luther: The Fallen Sun is at its best when the action is centered on Luther searching for the Killer in London.  A confrontation between the two in Piccadilly Circus is especially well-done and it leads to genuinely exciting chase through the London Underground.  Idris Elba displays both his fierce intelligence and his exciting physicality, while also doing a good job of suggesting that Luther is always just a frustration or two away from mentally snapping.  Elba is entertaining to watch, a perfect hero for these chaotic times.  Andy Serkis, meanwhile, plays the Killer without a hint of subtlety but that approach works for the character.  The Killer is someone who is evil because he enjoys it.  And, throughout the majority of this film, the Killer really does seem to be having the time of his life.

The film gets off to a good start, with plenty of action and atmosphere.  (This is one of those films where nothing happens unless it’s also raining.)  The aerial shots of London capture a certain neon grandeur that suggests a city that is in the process of transitioning into a brightly lit dystopia.  Serkis’s crimes are genuinely disturbing, with a scene involving a burning building feeling nightmarish in its intensity.  Unfortunately, the film loses its way a bit when the action moves away from England and into Europe.  The more that is revealed about Serkis’s plans, the less sense they make and the more the viewer is forced to suspend their disbelief.  In the end, the film’s third act feels as if it belongs in a totally different movie from everything that came before it.

That said, the mystery is still an intriguing one and Luther: The Fallen Sun actually does have something relevant to say about the illusion of privacy in our extremely online world.  One of the better scenes features hundreds of hackers, all sitting at their cubicles and watching as random people across the world go about their lives.  (“Potential target,” one hacker types.)  Andy Serkis is appropriately creepy and Idris Elba shows off the tough but sensitive screen presence that made him a star.  Luther: The Fallen Sun serves as both an effective continuation of the show and, for the viewers who may be meeting him for the first time, an intriguing introduction to John Luther.

A Blast From The Past: The Holy Roman Empire


It may seem strange to celebrate the Ides of March by sharing an educational film about The Holy Roman Empire, seeing as how it was famous for being neither holy nor Roman nor an Empire.  But then again, the fact that the name “Roman Empire” was still being appropriated into the 19th century shows you just how powerful a hold the Roman Empire had over people’s imaginations.  Everyone wanted to be Roman and everyone wanted to be a part of an empire.  Of course, there would have been no Roman Empire if not for the Ides of March.

Add to that, this 1961 film features not only a teacher but also historical reenactments.  I love cheap looking historical reenactments!

Here, for your educational viewing, is a blast from the past.  From 1961, it’s a look at The Holy Roman Empire!

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special David Cronenberg Edition


4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today, the Shattered Lens wishes a happy birthday to one of our favorite directors, David Cronenberg!  No one has done more to change the way that the world views Canada than David Cronenberg.  Last year, Cronenberg came out of a ten-year retirement to film Crimes of the Future.  Next up, a film called The Shrouds, a film that is described as being a businessman who discovers a way to communicate with the dead.

Here are….

4 Shots From 4 David Cronenberg Films

Crimes of the Future (1970, dir by David Cronenberg, DP: David Cronenberg)

Scanners (1981, dir by David Cronenberg, DP: Mark Irwin)

Dead Ringers (1988, dir by David Cronenberg, DP: Peter Suschitzky)

Crimes of the Future (2022, dir by David Cronenberg, DP: Douglas Koch)