Lisa’s Week In Review: 8/5/19 — 8/11/19

It’s been a long week and it’s also been ludicrously hot.  At least I bought a lot of stuff during our tax-free weekend.  Here’s what else I did over the week:

Films I Watched:

  1. Anatomy of a Murder (1959)
  2. The Caine Mutiny (1953)
  3. Deadly Influencer (2019)
  4. Harvey (1950)
  5. Killer Grandma (2019)
  6. The Last Woman On Earth (1960)
  7. Missing Link (2019)
  8. V.C. Andrews’ Dark Angel (2019)
  9. V.C. Andrews’ Fallen Hearts (2019)
  10. V.C. Andrews’ Heaven (2019)

Television Shows I Watched:

  1. 60 Days in Narcoland
  2. Bachelor in Paradise
  3. BH90210
  4. Big Brother 21
  5. Breaking Bad
  6. Dance Moms
  7. Evil Lives Here
  8. Fear the Walking Dead
  9. Grand Hotel
  10. House Hunters
  11. King of the Hill
  12. Legion
  13. Love Island
  14. No One Saw A Thing
  15. Saved By The Bell
  16. So You Think You Can Dance
  17. Sweetbitter

Books I Read:

  1. Rat Pack Confidential: Frank, Dean, Sammy, Peter, Joey and the Last Great Show Biz Party (1999) by Shawn Levy
  2. This Storm (2019) by James Ellroy

Music To Which I Listened:

  1. Abbie Ozard
  2. Afrojack
  3. Alexina
  4. Amanda Palmer
  5. Bat For Lashes
  6. Big Data
  7. Bjork
  8. Bob Dylan
  9. Carys
  10. The Chemical Brothers
  11. Elle Azar
  12. Elle King
  13. Florence + The Machine
  14. Gloria Trevi
  15. HAIM
  16. Lara Snow
  17. Missions
  18. Phantogram
  19. Saint Motel
  20. Steve Aoki
  21. t.a.t.u
  22. twenty-one pilots

Links From Last Week:

  1. Ryan the Trash Film Guru has a patreon.  Please consider subscribing!
  2. On Days Without Incident, Leonard wrote about All Of Us.
  3. On her photography site, Erin shared: More of the Possum, Downtown, The Shops at Legacy, Downtown II, Downtown In The Rain, Red Tree, and Shadows!
  4. On Pop Politics, Jeff shared: The Return of Michael Avenatti, Congratulations Melinda Katz, Danny Trejo Is A Super Hero, Everything’s Coming Up Blago, 45 Years Ago Today Richard Nixon Resigned, Joe Biden Is Really Old, Remember When J. Jonah Jameson Was Elected Mayor of New York, and Jeffrey Epstein is Dead!
  5. I wrote about Big Brother for Big Brother Blog!
  6. Over on SyFy Designs, I shared New York Movie Painted By Edward Hopper, Compartment C Car by Edward Hopper, Thoughts on Sleep, and Why I Love This Time Of Year!
  7. On my music site, I shared music from Abbie Ozard, Alexina, HAIM, Bjork, Elle Azar, Bat For Lashes, and Florence + The Machine!
  8. How American Beauty lost the title of 1999’s best movie
  9. Woodstock 50’s Failure Is the New Left’s Success

Links From The Site:

  1. Case reviewed the 9th episode of Titans!
  2. Erin shared The Many Adventures of 0008 and also: Model Maids, Say When, Weekend Widows, The Odd Switch, The Married Kind, Fury in my Heart, and Free and Easy!
  3. Doc shared 4 shots in honor of International Cat Day!
  4. Gary reviewed Gunman’s Walk, Half Shot At Sunrise, and Cockeyed Cavaliers!
  5. Jeff wrote about video games and shared music videos from Rick James, Midnight Oil, and …. Tom Hanks!
  6. I shared music videos from Carys, Big Data, Missions and Lara Snow!  I reviewed Missing Link, Highway Dragnet, Last Woman On Earth, Heaven, Dark Angel, and Fallen Hearts!
  7. Ryan reviewed What the Actual, The Bus Driver, I Think Our Friend Dan Might Be A Dolphin, and Funky Dianetics, along with sharing his weekly reading round-up!

Click here for what I did last week!

Lifetime Film Review: V.C. Andrews’ Fallen Hearts (dir by Jason Priestley)

About 12 minutes into Fallen Hearts, the perpetually aggrieved Heaven (Annalise Basso) goes to the local circus so she can taunt her stepfather, Luke (Chris William Martin), over the fact that 1) Heaven looks exactly like her mother, Angel and 2) Angel’s dead.

Upon arriving at the circus, Heaven runs into her stepbrother, Tom (Matthew Nelson-Mahood), but it takes her a while to recognize him because he’s wearing a big red clown nose.  It’s not until he takes the nose off that she recognizes Tom and then asks him why he’s dressed up like a clown.  It turns out that Tom is a clown now!  I guess he got a promotion.  Tom then asks why Heaven has made herself up to look exactly like Angel….

Unfortunately, Luke has already spotted Heaven and, apparently not understanding how death works, becomes convinced that Angel has returned to life and is standing in the middle of a low-rent circus in West Virginia.  Unfortunately, Luke is apparently now a lion tamer and he’s so shocked to see his dead wife that he loses track of his lion.

And, of course, the lion promptly kills Tom.  Would the lion have spared Tom if he hadn’t removed his red clown nose?  We may never know.

Now, of course, everyone in the film treats this as being a great tragedy.  Strangely enough, no one blames Heaven, even though none of this would have happened if not for the Heaven’s apparent obsession with mentally tormenting everyone from her past.  But I have to admit that I laughed out loud as soon as I saw that lion in the background because I knew there was no way the scene was going to end without Tom getting pounced on….

And really, that’s the type of film that Fallen Hearts is.  It’s the third film in Lifetime’s adaptation of V.C. Andrews’s Casteel Saga (the previous two were Heaven and Dark Angel) and, from the minute that lion pounces at Tom, everyone should know better than to take anything that happens too seriously.  Fallen Hearts somehow manages to be even more melodramatic than the first two films and, as directed by Jason Priestley, Fallen Hearts appears to be fully in on the joke.

Priestley not only directs but he also appears in the film, once again playing Tony Tatterton.  Tony is not only Heaven’s unacknowledged father but he’s also her stepgrandfather as well.  When Heaven finally ends up marrying Logan Stonewall (James Rittinger), Tony invites them to come up to Massachusetts for their honeymoon.  Heaven says no but Logan, being a simple boy from the West Virginia hills, is all about family.  While up in Massachusetts, Heaven discover that her first husband, Troy (Jason Cermak), isn’t dead after all.  He’s just been in hiding for the past five years, mostly because, after the wedding, he discovered that he was also Heaven’s uncle and that type of relationship just isn’t right.  Of course, that doesn’t stop Troy and Heaven from having sex after they run into each other while wandering around a hedge maze.  Troy vanishes the morning afterward but soon, Heaven discovers she’s pregnant.  Is the baby Troy’s or Logan’s?

Actually, speaking of babies, Heaven’s trashy and bitter sister, Fanny (Jessica Clement, stealing the entire damn movie) is also pregnant!  And it turns out that Fanny’s been having an affair with Logan so he might be the father.  Then again, there’s also scene where the town’s preacher looks at Fanny and shouts, “WHORE!,” so who knows for sure.  The one thing we do know for sure is that all of this is going to lead to two pregnant sisters facing off in a court room.  These things always do.

Anyway, Fallen Hearts is not a film that’s really meant to be taken seriously and, as I said before, the film itself is obviously in one the joke.  The melodrama is turned up to 11 and the actors tear through the overripe dialogue like a moonshiner trying to outrun the cops.  Annalise Basso again manages to keep things somewhat grounded as Heaven but the film is totally dominated by Jessica Clement, who brings the wonderfully trashy Fanny to vivid life.  The townsfolk and the hillfolk might not think much of Fanny but she keeps Fallen Hearts beating.

The fourth part of the Casteel Saga, Gates of Paradise, will air on Lifetime next Saturday.

Music Video Of The Day: City of Crime by Dan Aykroyd and Tom Hanks (1987, directed by Marty Callner)

“They didn’t have enough confidence in the material that they had to try and hook kids in with some disco thing.”

— Gene Siskel on Dragnet (1987)

In 1987, Dragnet was released into theaters.  Based on the classic television series, Dragnet was a comedy that featured Dan Aykroyd as straight-laced Sgt. Joe Friday and Tom Hanks as his new partner, Det. Pep Streebeck.  Perhaps realizing that they had spent $20,000,000 making a movie about a show that most teenagers had never heard of, Universal Pictures decided to promote the film by having Aykroyd and Hanks rap about fighting crime.

The end result was City of Crime and this music video.  Collaborating with Aykroyd and Hanks on this song are former Deep Purple and Black Sabbath vocalist Glenn Hughes and famed guitarist Pat Thrall.  This video was directed by Marty Callner, who is best-known for doing videos for Aerosmith and Poison.