Ro-Man Holiday: ROBOT MONSTER (Astor Pictures 1953)


gary loggins's avatarcracked rear viewer

My friends at The Film Detective are hosting a Drive-In Monster Movie Party all this month, and asked me to join in on the fun! When I received the list of movies they’re showing, I jumped at the chance to watch and review ROBOT MONSTER, that infamous no-budget classic directed by Phil Tucker, featuring an alien called Ro-Man who looks like a gorilla wearing a diving helmet. And honestly, how can you not love that!!

ROBOT MONSTER consistently makes critics’ all-time worst movie lists, derided for its technical ineptitude, overwrought acting, absurd dialog, and flat-out senselessness. It’s all that, to be certain, but I look at things through a different (some would say “shattered”) lens. First, did I enjoy it? The answer: a resounding yes! The movie may not be on a par with CASABLANCA or THE SEARCHERS , but it didn’t bore me or make me want to shut…

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Film Review: Blood Red (1989, directed by Peter Masterson)


The time is the 1890s.  The place is California.  Sicilian immigrant Sebastian Collogero (Giancarlo Giannini) has just been sworn in as an American citizen and owns his own vineyard.  When Irish immigrant William Bradford Berrigan (Dennis Hopper) demands that Sebastian give up his land so Berrigan run a railroad through it, Sebastian refuses.  Berrigan hires a group of thugs led by Andrews (Burt Young) to make Sebastian see the error of his ways.  When Sebastian ends up dead, his wayward son, Marco (Eric Roberts), takes up arms and seeks revenge.

Have you ever wondered what would have happened if the famously self-indulgent directors Michael Cimino and Francis Ford Coppola teamed up to make a movie about the American Dream?  The end result would probably be something like Blood Red.  Like Cimino’s The Deer Hunter and Heaven’s Gate, Blood Red begins with a lengthy celebration (in this case, in honor of Sebastian’s naturalization ceremony) that doesn’t have much to do with the rest of the film but which is included just to make sure we know that what we’re about to see is more than just a mere genre piece.  Like many of Coppola’s films, Blood Red features a tight-knit family, flowing wine, and a score composed by Carmine Coppola.  The only difference between our hypothetical Cimino/Coppola collaboration and Blood Red is that the Cimino/Coppola film would probably be longer and more interesting than Blood Red.  Blood Red is only 80 minutes long and directed by Peter Masterson, who seems lost.  There’s a potentially interesting story here about two different immigrants fighting to determine the future of America but it gets lost in all of the shots of Eric Roberts flexing his muscles.

For an actor known for his demented energy, Eric Roberts is surprisingly dull as the lead but Blood Red is a film that even manages to make veteran scenery chewers like Dennis Hopper and Burt Young seem boring.  (Hopper’s bizarre attempt at an Irish brogue does occasionally liven things up.)  The cast is full of familiar faces like Michael Madsen, Aldo Ray, Marc Lawrence, and Elias Koteas but none of them get to do much.  Of course, the most familiar face of all belongs to Eric’s sister, Julia.  Julia Roberts made her film debut playing Marco’s sister, Maria.  (Because the film sat on the shelf for three years after production was completed, Blood Red wasn’t released until after Julia has subsequently appeared in Mystic Pizza and Satisfaction.)  She gets three lines and less than five minutes of screen time but she does get to briefly show off the smile that would later make her famous.  Today, of course, that smile is the only reason anyone remembers Blood Red.

Music Video of the Day: Everybody’s Crazy by Michael Bolton (1985, directed by Wayne Isham)


“I’ll be honest with you, I love his music, I do, I’m a Michael Bolton fan. For my money, I don’t know if it gets any better than when he sings “When a Man Loves a Woman”.

— Bob (John C. McGinley) in Office Space (1999)

Yeeeesh!

I guess we can put this one in the “It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time” file.  In 1985, your aunt’s favorite adult contemporary singer, Michael Bolton, tried to change his image by recording a hard rock album.  The end result was Everybody’s Crazy and a title track that attempted to mix easy listening with hard rock.

It also led to this video, which starts with Michael Bolton telling his manager that “normal” is only something that people are until you get to know them.  “Everybody’s crazy,” and I guess Michael Bolton is including himself in that.  It’s not that Bolton doesn’t have an adequate voice as that there’s nothing dangerous about him and hard rock has to be dangerous.  In this video, Bolton comes across as such a goof that he makes Kip Winger look like James Hetfield.

Bolton did at least bring in some talent for the video.  For instance, he got Bruce Kulick, who was then with KISS, to play guitar on the song and he brought in Wayne Isham to direct the video.  Wayne Isham’s one of the busiest music video directors around.  If your favorite singer or band was around in the 80s or 90s, chances are that Wayne Isham directed one of their videos.

Enjoy!

 

I Watched Hero


Joe Finn (Burgess Jenkins) used to the best Little League coach in the state.  That was until he decided to leave his family to seek fame and fortune in the Big Leagues.  After his wife dies of cancer, Joe returns home to discover that his teenage son, David (Justin Miles), wants nothing to do with him.  Determined to stick around and repair his relationship with David, Joe tries to return to coaching Little League but he discovers that things have changed since he left.  Runners aren’t allowed to take a lead off base.  Pitchers can only pitch for one inning at a time.  Practice can only last an hour a day.

That’s not real baseball!

Joe decides to start his own league, one where pitchers can pitch multiple innings, bases can be stolen, there’s no such thing as a tied game, and everyone practices daily for three hours.  To be a part of the league, the players not only have to get their fathers to agree to come to every game but also to practice with them at home.  It’s not going to be easy.  One player’s father is always busy with his job as the warden of the local prison.  Another player’s father is an inmate in that same prison.  But Joe is determined to teach his players and their fathers about both baseball and life.

Hero‘s a sweet movie and it made a good point about the importance of not only allowing kids to truly compete but also about teaching them the importance of both winning and losing with dignity and sportmanship.  It shows why baseball is important but why it’s also just as important to play a real game instead of a toned down version.  Burgess Jenkins, who used to play Billy Abbott on The Young and The Restless, is convincing as a coach and Justin Miles does a good job as his son.  My only problem with the film is that it spent so much time emphasizing that the fathers needed to come to their son’s games that I felt like it shortchanged all of the moms who have been there for their children whenever a father couldn’t or wouldn’t be.  Anyone who has ever been to a real little league game (or just a soccer match) knows that a mom can get just as into the game as a father.

People who complain about “participation trophies” will probably respond best to this film’s message but there’s also enough action of the field that people who just like baseball movies might enjoy it as well.

The Covers of New Detective


Artist Unknown

New Detective was a pulp magazine that promised its readers “the NEWest” crime fiction available.  It started publication in 1941 and it ran until 1953, when it was merged with another magazine and its title was changed first to Fifteen Detective Stories and then to True Adventure.  Under the True Adventure name, it ran until 1970.

The fiction of New Detective may have been “new” but it dealt with same subjects as most pulp crime magazines; stories about detectives, guns, and dangerous women.  Among the writers published in New Detective were John D. MacDonald, who would later find fame and critical acclaim for his Travis McGee novels.

There were over seventy issues of New Detective.  Below are just a few of the more memorable ones:

Unknown Artist

Unknown Artist

Unknown Artist

Unknown Artist

Unknown Artist

Unknown Artist

Unknown Artist

by Norman Saunders

by Norman Saunders

Unknown Artist

by Rafael De Soto

by Rafael De Soto

Music Video of the Day: Blister in the Sun by Violent Femmes (1997, directed by Evan Bernard)


When Blister in the Sun was first released in 1983, there were no music video.  In fact, there weren’t many listeners.  While the song was an immediate hit on college radio, it wasn’t until the late 80s and the 1990s, when all of those people who worked at the college stations got jobs programming “alternative” and “modern rock” stations, that Blister in the Sun really became a radio mainstay.

It wasn’t until John Cusack decided that he wanted to use the song in Grosse Pointe Blank that Blister in the Sun finally got a music video.  The video combines clips of John Cusack and Alan Arkin from the film with a totally new story involving the lead singer of Violent Femmes, Gordon Gano, attempting to assassinate Socks the Cat.  Socks was the White House pet during the Clinton years and it says something about the difference between 1997 and 2019 that this video could be made at all.  At the end of the video, Gano is arrested in a theater showing Grosse Pointe Blank, in much the same way that Lee Harvey Oswald was arrested in a theater that was showing War Is Hell.

As for the song’s lyrics, Gano has said that they were about drug abuse and not, as many listeners speculated, masturbation.  The famous “Big Hands” line was a reference to Gano’s insecurity about his small hands and his fear that his girlfriend would leave him for someone who had bigger hands.  As Gano once told the Village Voice, “I don’t think there’s a whole lot to understand with the lyrics.”

Enjoy!

Lisa’s Week In Review: 6/3/19 — 6/9/19


As of right now, I’m on vacation!

Woo hoo!

What does this mean?  Well, it means that, for two weeks, I get to relax and travel with my favorite human being and see family, both present and perhaps future, as well!  *wink*  It also means that I can get caught up with some reviewing as well.  Can you believe that 2019 is nearly halfway over?

Anyway, here’s my list of last week’s pop cultural accomplishments:

Films I Watched:

  1. The Adventurers (1970)
  2. The Cleaning Lady (2019)
  3. Crossroads (2002)
  4. Deadwood: The Movie (2019)
  5. Dragged Across Concrete (2019)
  6. Fighting With My Family (2019)
  7. Fried Barry (2019)
  8. Gimme Shelter (1970)
  9. Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019)
  10. Happy Death Day 2 U (2019)
  11. The Haunting of Sharon Tate (2019)
  12. How To Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World (2019)
  13. Isn’t it Romantic? (2019)
  14. The Legend of Bigfoot (1976)
  15. The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part (2019)
  16. Murder in the First (1995)
  17. Native Son (2019)
  18. The Prodigy (2019)
  19. Serenity (2019)
  20. Spirits in the Dark (2019)
  21. A Star is Born (2018)
  22. The Top Rope (2019)
  23. Woodstock (1970)

Television Shows I Watched:

  1. The 73rd Annual Tony Awards
  2. The Amazing Race 31
  3. Big Little Lies
  4. Black Mirror
  5. The Bold and the Beautiful
  6. Chernobyl
  7. Couples Court with the Cutlers
  8. Dance Moms
  9. Doctor Phil
  10. Face the Truth
  11. Fear the Walking Dead
  12. General Hospital
  13. Gordon Ramsay’s 24 Hours To Hell And Back
  14. It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia
  15. iZombie
  16. King of the Hill
  17. Lauren Lake’s Paternity Court
  18. The Office
  19. Paradise Hotel
  20. Project Runway
  21. So You Think You Can Dance
  22. Vida
  23. The Young and the Restless

Books I Read:

  1. The Lost Night (2019) by Andrea Bartz
  2. Smitten by the Brit (2019) by Melonie Johnson
  3. Spitfire in Love (2019) by Isabelle Ronin

Music To Which I Listened:

  1. Above & Beyond
  2. Adi Ulmansky
  3. Avicii
  4. Big Data
  5. Blondie
  6. Bob Dylan
  7. Britney Spears
  8. Cedric Gervais
  9. Charli XCX
  10. The Chemical Brothers
  11. Chromatics
  12. Chrysta Bell
  13. Coldplay
  14. Crud
  15. The Crystal Method
  16. Daft Punk
  17. DJ Judaa
  18. DJ Snake
  19. Dillon Francis
  20. Edgar Allan Poets
  21. Gwen Stefani
  22. Halsey
  23. Hrdza
  24. Icona Pop
  25. Jakalope
  26. Jake Bugg
  27. The Jonas Brothers
  28. Katy Perry
  29. Kedr Livanskiy
  30. Lindsey Stirling
  31. Neon Indian
  32. Rebecca & Fiona
  33. R.E.M.
  34. Saint Motel
  35. She & Him
  36. Skrillex
  37. Steve Aoki
  38. Taylor Swift
  39. Tegan and Sara
  40. Will.I.Am.

Links From Last Week:

  1. On her photography site, Erin shared: Plant in the Rain, Stop, Back Yard in Black-and-White, End Road Work, Nature’s Revenge, Even Dolls Need Pets, and Scarecrow!
  2. On my music site, I shared music from Tegan and Sara, Katy Perry, Arlo Guthrie, Halsey, Dillon Francis and Skrillex, Taylor Swift, and Gwen Stefani!
  3. I reviewed the latest episode of The Amazing Race!
  4. Destroy All Humans!  video game reboot announced
  5. OVERDUE — ACADEMY to Honor DAVID LYNCH, GEENA DAVIS, WES STUDI AND LINA WERTMÜLLER
  6. Russia hates HBO’s Chernobyl, decides to make its own series
  7. Leftover Wine

Links From The Site:

  1. Erin shared the fast covers of Speed Mystery and also: Oh Careless Love, An End To Passion, A Touch of Death, Ray’s Rock on Omaha Beach, Passport to Peril, SoHo Sins, and The Twenty Year Death!  She also shared 12 images of D-Day from the artists who were actually there!
  2. Gary commemorated the 3rd of June and reviewed Death Wish and Little Caesar!
  3. Jeff reviewed Runaway and shared videos from Greg Kihn Band, Weird All Yankovic, and the following from ZZ Top: Gimme All Your Lovin‘, Sharp-Dressed Man, Legs, Sleeping Bag, and Rough Boy!
  4. I shared the trailer for Ad Astra and reviewed The Cleaning Lady, Fried Barry, The Top Rope, Spirits in the Dark, The Lego Movie 2, and Happy Death Day 2U!
  5. Ryan shared his weekly reading round-up and reviewed Red Ultramarine, The Structure is Rotten Comrade, and Gender Queer!

Want to see what I did last week?  Click here!

Have a great week!