6 Trailers For World UFO Day


With today being World UFO Day, it seems like a good time for a special edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Film Trailers!  The 6 trailers below all bring the promise of aliens to the grindhouse!

  1. Starcrash (1978)

For the record, I fully realize and understand that I have shared this trailer like a thousand times on this site.  I make no apologies!  I love this trailer and, even more importantly, I love this film!  It’s perhaps the greatest Italian Star Wars rip-off of all time.  Directed by Luigi Cozzi and starring Caroline Munro, David Hasselhoff, Joe Spinell, Marjoe Gortner, and Christopher Plummer, Starcrash is a movie everyone must see!  I was even Stella Starr for Halloween in 2014.  Unfortunately, no one knew who I was (apparently, not everyone loves Italian exploitation films that I do) but I still got a lot of candy.

2. The Deadly Spawn (1983)

When a meteor crashes to Earth, it unleashes … well, watch the trailer.  I’ve been meaning to review this movie for a while but somehow, I keep getting distracted by Lifetime.  The Deadly Spawn is a lot of fun.  It’s good nature more than makes up for its low budget.

3. Starship Invasions (1977)

This is the trailer for Starship Invasions, which Christopher Lee regularly described as being the worst film he ever made.

4. Contamination (1980)

This one was directed by Luigi Cozzi, who also directed Starcrash.  It’s also known as Alien ContaminationHere’s my review!

5. Alien 2: On Earth (1980)

Oh my God!  A previously unknown Alien sequel!?  Not quite.  This Italian sci-fi film may have been released as Alien 2 but it actually had nothing to do with the original Alien.  That said, Alien 2 is still considerably better than Alien Covenant.

6. I Come In Peace (1990)

“…and you go in pieces!”

Hah!  You tell him!  I’ve never seen this film but I love that line.

Cleaning Out The DVR: Lethal Admirer (dir by Craig Goldstein)


I recorded Lethal Admirer off of Lifetime on April 15th.

My friends and I have long debated which episode of Boy Meets World is the worst.

My friend Jen has often said that the worst episode was the one where Eric wanted to adopt a kid and she has a pretty good point, there.  Some others have said that the worst episode was the one where Cory acts like an immature jackass when his mom dares to give birth on a day that he wanted to spend exclusively with Topanga and, again, I think they have a valid point.

Speaking for myself. I’ve narrowed it down to two possibilities.

First off, there’s the episode where Shawn joins a cult and Cory starts grabbing him and going, “This is a hug, Shawn!  THIS!  THIS IS A HUG!”  The other one is the episode where Cory and Topanga crash a complete stranger’s wedding and Cory makes their special day all about him.

You know which one I’m talking about.  Cory and Topanga know no one at the wedding.  The only reason that they’re there is so they can get ideas for the own wedding.  Still, Cory feels the needs to stand up during the ceremony and give a lengthy speech about how creepily obsessed he is with his fiancée and how he hopes that the newlyweds will be as much in love with each other as Cory is with Topanga.

The worst thing about this scene is that everyone at the wedding is touched by Cory’s speech.  Nobody says, “And you are?”  No one questions why some strange teenager is making the ceremony all about himself.  No one asks why Cory is suddenly the world’s authority on love.  Add to that, beyond Cory being incredibly self-centered, it’s just an extremely awkward moment.  I mean, it’s bad enough to crash someone’s wedding but then to interrupt with some halfassed speech about yourself?  You feel embarrassed for Cory, for everyone at the wedding, and especially for Topanga.

Well, believe it or not, Lethal Admirer contains a scene that is just as thoroughly awkward as Cory’s wedding speech.  This scene also takes place at a wedding.  Unlike Cory and Topanga, Lloyd (Drew Seeley) is not crashing the wedding.  He was actually invited to attend by his friend and former co-worker, Megan (Karissa Lee Staples).  The only reason Megan invited Lloyd to come with her is because her boyfriend, Chris (Brian Ames), broke his leg when he fell off a ladder.  Megan considers Lloyd to be a friend and even wants to set him up with her sister (Courtney Hope).  However, Lloyd is convinced that Megan loves him.  As Lloyd explains it, his mother has always told him that he has to take big chances and Lloyd does just that at the wedding reception.

And, oh my God!  Anyone who has ever had a friend declare their love at the worst possible moment will be cringing with flashbacks!

Of course, it’s not just that Lloyd has no clue about how to socially interact with people.  It’s also that Lloyd’s a little bit crazy.  In fact, he’s just crazy enough to have killed both Megan’s former boyfriend and her current boss.  Remember that ladder that Chris fell off of?  Well, that was no accident.  Nor was it an accident that, after Megan moved across the country, Lloyd suddenly showed up in her new city.  Lloyd is obsessed with Megan and Megan, for whatever reason, is pretty much clueless until it’s too late.

It’s a typical Lifetime movie scenario but Lethal Admirer is distinguished by a script that makes the very wise decision not to take itself too seriously.  It never becomes a full-blown comedy like A Deadly Adoption but the script of Lethal Admirer features enough one-liners and random nonsequiturs to indicate that the filmmakers were determined to have a little bit fun with the typical Lifetime formula.  I especially liked the interactions between Megan and her sister.  Their relationship rang true.

Also ringing true was the character of Lloyd, who was definitely strange but also just charming enough that you could legitimately accept the idea of Megan wanting to be his friend.  Drew Seeley provided an indelible portrait of a nerd scorned in this film.  His little smile when Megan assured him that he could pass for an intellectual hipster was both deeply creepy and kind of sweet at the same time.

Lethal Admirer was a good Lifetime flick.  If nothing else, it should be shown to everyone as an example of what not to do at a wedding.

Cleaning Out The DVR: I Killed My BFF: The Preacher’s Daughter (dir by Seth Jarrett)


I recorded I Killed My BFF: The Preacher’s Daughter off of Lifetime on April 22nd.

Could you kill your BFF?

I’d like to think I could not.  In fact, as of right now, I have at least six BFFs and I wouldn’t kill a single one of them.  To be honest, I doubt that I’m physically capable of killing any of my BFFs.  Four of them own guns, which would definitely give them an advantage over me.  Way back when I was skipping school and shoplifting makeup, another one of my BFFs was training with the IDF.  I wouldn’t even think of trying to kill her, largely because I love her, she’s like a sister to me, and I’m pretty sure she’s been taught a hundred different ways to stop me.  So no, I would not kill any of my BFFs.  And I wouldn’t kill any of my former BFFs, either.  It’s not that I couldn’t, it’s just I imagine I’d be an obvious suspect and then there’s all the guilt and the damnation and all that.

However, there are apparently quite a few people in the world who are not only capable of killing their BFF but who have actually done it!  There’s even a Lifetime show about it.  I Killed My BFF always starts by detailing how wonderful the friendship was before the friends decided to commit murder.   The identities of the murderer and the victim are not revealed until the final few minutes of the show so the whole point of watching an episode of I Killed My BFF basically amounts to spending 50 minutes of trying to guess who is going to snap first.

The show itself was so successful that it’s even led to a mini-movie franchise.  The first I Killed My BFF film aired in 2015 and it was an instant classic.  Now, three years later, we have a second I Killed My BFF film, The Preacher’s Daughter.

Who is the preacher’s daughter?  Her name is Lily Adler (Megan West) and she seems like she’s perfectly happy being a leading member of her father’s (Joe Gretsch) congregation.  She’s in charge of the youth ministry and she’s always very prim and proper.  Little does the congregation suspect that Lily used to be a wild child who had an abortion when she was a teenager.

The congregation also does not know that Rev. Adler is estranged from his son, Jason (Matthew James Ballinger).  After their mother commits suicide, Lily attempts to repair the relationship between her father and her brother but, instead, she just ends up spending a lot of time with Jason’s older girlfriend, Rae (Carly Pope).  Soon, Lily is once again drinking and doing drugs.  It’s not until Jason’s mysterious death that Lily turns on Rae and starts trying to recruit Rae’s teenage daughter, Scarlet (Katherine Reis), into the church.

It all leads to (you guessed it!) murder!

When it comes to The Preacher’s Daughter, it’s hard to avoid the fact that none of these people really seem to be BFFs.  I mean, Lily and Rae do hang out with each other for a while but that’s mostly just because of Jason.  And while Lily and Scarlet do become close, it’s debatable whether or not they could really be considered BFFs.  If anything, it seems more like a mentor/protegé type of relationship.

But no matter!  It was still fun trying to guess who would end up killing who.  A sign of the film’s success is that you could easily imagine either Rae, Lily, or even Scarlet turning out to be the murderer.  Megan West was memorably creepy in the role of Lily and there’s a baptism scene that deserves a place in the Hall of Fame of WTF Lifetime Moments.  Joel Gretsch also does a good job as the charismatic but judgmental Rev. Adler and the film’s ending packs a nice punch.

I look forward to watching future installments of I Killed MY BFF with my BFFs.  Hopefully, none of them will ever try to kill me…

Cleaning Out The DVR: Dangerous Seduction (dir by Jean-Francois Rivard)


I recorded Dangerous Seduction off of the Lifetime Movie Network on May 5th!  It’s also known as The Queen of Sin.

So, here’s the thing:

Posy Pinkerton (Christa B. Allen) seems like she should have the perfect life.  She’s in her 20s and she’s already engaged to a doctor!  Add to that, she’s a talented artist who has an up-and-coming career as a medical illustrator!  Seriously, she can make a heart so realistic that you half-expect it start pumping blood through a body!

However, things aren’t always as perfect as they seem.  For one thing, Posy is terribly shy and repressed.  She rarely goes out or has any fun.  Her fiance is the type who turns down a night of wild sex so that he can go to the hospital and check on a patient.  I mean, seriously — what type of doctor does that!?  (Other than a doctor who doesn’t want to get sued for malpractice, of course…)  Posy’s even too shy to really pursue her career.  Her best friend and cousin, Laura (Amber Goldfarb), says that Posy needs to have at least one wild fling before she gets married but Posy…

Well, Posy actually kind of agrees, even if she won’t admit it.

Things get complicated after Posy and Laura are the two last people to see a woman who is murdered shortly after she jogs past them.  For Laura, it means meeting the handsome and single Detective Dagliesh (Sergio Di Zio).  Who cares if the murder gets solved as long as Dagliesh and Laura get together!?  They’re a cute couple!  As for Posy … well, Posy is now being followed but she doesn’t realize it.

When Posy meets Jack (Richard de Klerk), she is immediately charmed.  Remember that one wild fling that Laura recommended?  Jack appears to be that fling.  Soon, Posy is giving into an alter ego that she created for herself, the so-called Queen of Sin.

What Posy doesn’t know is that Jack works for someone who knows a little bit about sin himself.  Charlie (Marc Thibaudeau) is a millionaire who deals with his ennui by hiring Jack and Stella (Inga Cadranel) to capture sex slaves, all of whom are eventually murdered by Charlie once he tires of them….

So, needless to say, there’s a lot going on in Dangerous Seduction but, in the end, it all becomes a fairly standard Lifetime kidnapping film.  That’s not a complaint, of course.  Lifetime generally makes the best abduction films and Dangerous Seduction deserves some credit for trying to do something a little bit different from the genre.  The film starts off as almost a Fifty Shades of Grey type of film, with Posy exploring her sexual fantasies with Jack and then it becomes a murder mystery before ultimately ending up as a “let’s-escape-from-a-mad-man’s-mansion” film.

It’s nicely done.  Whether capturing the shadows of Charlie’s mansion or the stark loneliness of a fresh crime scene, the films always looks great.  (The film’s cinematography is credited to Sergio Di Rosa.)  The actors all do a good job.  Though Posy, with her constant self-doubt, can be a bit difficult to take, Amber Goldfarb is likable and fun as Laura and the between-the-lines romance between her and Dagliesh is fun to watch.

Lifetime always reruns their films a few hundred times so keep an eye out for this one!

Weekly Reading Round-Up : 06/17/2018 – 06/23/2018, The Horror — The Horror —


Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)'s avatarRyan C.'s Four Color Apocalypse

I guess I’ve been at this long enough to see when de facto themes generally, if inadvertently, present themselves within the “framework” of any given week’s releases, and when Image Comics has four horror books (all priced at $3.99 each, so keep that in mind as you evaluate whether or not these are worth the dent to your wallet) come out on the same Wednesday, well shit, it’s pretty obvious what we should be talking about, isn’t it? Doesn’t really take a “veteran” critic at all, as a matter of fact —

I had been cool to Jeff Lemire and Andrea Sorrentino’s Gideon Falls to this point — so much so that I had been intending, most likely, to drop it after the conclusion of its first “arc” — but with issue number four, now I’m no so sure. Lemire is (painfully) obviously going for some sort of low-rent Twin…

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4 Shots From 4 Films For World UFO Day: The Eyes Behind The Stars, Starcrash, War of the Robots, Star Odyssey


4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking.

Happy World UFO Day!

4 Shots From 4 Films

The Eyes Behind The Stars (1978, dir by Mario Gariazzo)

Starcrash (1978, dir by Luigi Cozzi)

War of the Robots (1978, dir by Alfonso Brescia)

Star Odyssey (1979, dir by Alfonso Brescia)

Music Video of the Day: Alien by Die Antwoord featuring The Black Goat (2018, dir by NINJA)


Happy World UFO Day!

For reasons that I’m not really sure about, World UFO Day is celebrated on two separate days.  It’s celebrated on both June 24th and July 2nd!  There used to be an official World UFO Day website that undoubtedly explained the whole thing but that site is now apparently offline.  Well. here at the Shattered Lens, we celebrate World UFO Day in June because, come July 2nd, we’re usually too busy stocking up on illegal fireworks to deal with any intergalactic visitors.

(For the record, I will be celebrating World UFO Day by cleaning out my DVR.)

So, today is Happy UFO Day and I picked this video because … well, actually, the song isn’t really about UFOs.  It’s about someone who feels like an alien because they don’t fit in with the rest of the world.  I think we all know what that feels like.  As for the video, there’s really no proof that the main character is from outer space.  Would visitors from outer space really want to come to Detroit?

But you know what?  I like the song.  And I like the video.

Maybe you will too.

Enjoy!

Gettin’ a Woody: EVERYTHING YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX* (United Artists 1972)


gary loggins's avatarcracked rear viewer

*(but were afraid to ask)

Say what you will about Woody Allen (and I’m sure some of you will), but from 1969 to 1977 he wrote, directed, and starred in some of the laugh-out-loud funniest movies ever made (after that, things got a bit pretentious, and his output has been hit-or-miss far as I’m concerned). Allen’s inventive mind took Dr. David Reuben’s best-selling sex manual EVERYTHING YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX (*but were afraid to ask) and turned it into a hilarious anthology that skewers not only societal mores and morals, but every segment parodies a different film genre.

Some are better than others, but each has something funny to offer. The first, “Do Aphrodisiacs Work?”, finds Woody as a medieval court jester whose lousy Bob Hope one-liners bomb with the King (Anthony Quayle). The randy jester is dying to enter the Queen’s (Lynn Redgrave) “royal chambers”, but…

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What Lisa Watched Last Night #183: The Wrong Daughter (dir by Ben Myerson)


Last night, I watched The Wrong Daughter on the Lifetime Movie Network!

Why Was I Watching It?

I think I must have missed The Wrong Daughter when it originally premiered on Lifetime.  Maybe I was out spying on the neighbors or something.  Who knows?  Fortunately, Lifetime always shows their movies about a hundred different times during the year so, last night, I got a chance to catch up!

What Was It About?

Kate (Cindy Busby) has a lot to deal with!  Not only is she trying to open up her own restaurant but she and Joe (Jon Prescott) are desperate to start a family.  In the aftermath of another failed IVF treatment, Kate promptly starts repainting the nursery and talking about how she could turn the room into an office.  (Interestingly, they live in a pretty big house so I’m kind of surprised she didn’t have an office already.)  However, Joe has a solution!  Maybe Kate could try to track down the girl that she gave up for adoption 17 years ago!

Meanwhile, 18 year-old Samantha (Sydney Sweeney) is just about to get kicked out of her group home.  Abandoned by her mother when she was born, Samantha has never been adopted.  Why not?  Well, it might have something to do with Samantha being slightly psychotic.  And while you may be thinking that Samantha is probably Kate’s long lost daughter, she’s not!  However, her roommate is!  When Samantha runs away and steals Danica’s (Sierra Pond) laptop, she discovers a message from Kate, announcing that she’s Danica’s mother and inviting Danica to come see her.

Soon, Samantha is at Kate’s restaurant, dressed demurely, claiming to be Danica, and working her way into Kate and Joe’s life.  Meanwhile, the real Danica just wants her laptop back.  Samantha, however, is happy being Danica and is willing to do anything — from bribing an old homeless woman to pretend to be the head of the group home when Kate calls to murdering anyone who turns their back on her — to remains so.

What Worked?

This was a pretty good example of the “killer imposter” genre of Lifetime films.  Movies like this pretty much live and die based on the performance of the imposter and Sydney Sweeney did a good job playing the duplicitous Samantha.  It was especially fun to watch her switch back and forth between being demure Danica and murderous Samantha.

What Did Not Work?

How naive can one person be?  That’s kind of the question that I had to ask about Kate, who was both a savvy businesswoman and yet somehow was easily fooled by even the most obvious of Samantha’s lies.  As much fun as it was to watch Kate get fooled over the phone by a crazy homeless woman, it was still hard not to wonder how that could have possibly happened in the first place.

“OMG!  Just like me!” Moments

From the minute Samantha first climbed through the window of her group home, I started having flashbacks.  That’s the same way that I used to sneak out of the house.  When you’re growing up in the suburbs, it helps to be a good climber.

Lessons Learned

Protect your laptop with you life.