Is Everything Zen by Bush the worst music video of all time? Let’s break it down:
0:06 — For some reason, this shot of the birds taking off from the rooftop was one of the most overused shots of the 90s. It means nothing. Birds perch on building and then they fly away. That’s what they do. In this case, I think the birds are saying, “Let’s get out of here before Gavin starts singing.”
0:20 — The only shot that was a bigger cliché than birds flying off a rooftop? The one of the woman standing at the end of a tunnel.
0:27 — Bush makes their first appearance and already they’re trying too hard. Bush was not the first band to rip off Nirvana and Pearl Jam, they were just the most obvious.
0:31 — Gavin Rossdale sang something about getting something to eat so here’s someone in a pig mask, holding a fork. Literal representations of Bush’s lyrics only serve to remind us of how stupid they are.
0:40 — In the video, Gavin sings “psycho brother.” In the actual song, he says “asshole brother.” I guess his asshole brother lives in Los Angeles and wears a pig snout. In real life, Gavin Rossdale doesn’t have a brother so already he’s lying to us.
0:46 — This is where I really get pissed off. There’s only one good lyric in this damn song and they stole it from David Bowie. And no, saying “Dave’s on sale again,” doesn’t make it okay.
0:53 — The woman’s being carried away by someone. We’re getting edgy now, folks.
1:00 — I can’t understand a word that Gavin’s singing and while I could look up the lyrics, I won’t. Compare this part of the song to literally any Nirvana song. Kurt Cobain’s lyrics were cryptic but still meant something. Bush’s lyrics sound like they were cribbed from a 9th grader’s notebook.
1:11 — One of Bush’s trademarks was that, whenever they couldn’t come up with any new lyrics, they would just repeat the song’s title. What does “Everything zen” even mean?
1:25 — Along with birds flying off of roofs and women standing at the end of tunnels, intense backlighting was another 90s music video cliché. This video makes sure to touch all the bases.
1:31 — A mask and an exposed rib cage? Is that zen?
1:35 — Gavin sings “demigod” as if he got the lyrics a half hour before recording the song.
1:45 — “There’s no sex in your violence.” We’re getting even more edgy here, folks.
2:05 — Gavin’s back to repeating “everything zen.”
2:10 — The birds are back, still trying to escape the band. That guitarist isn’t going to let them go that easy, though.
2:13 — Why were bands in the 90s always playing in abandoned warehouses?
2:24 — Leave Elvis out of this, you wanker!
2:34 — He really wants us to know that he doesn’t believe Elvis is dead.
3:06 — Back to “There’s no sex in your violence.” If he doesn’t believe that Elvis is dead, why should we listen to him about anything? Maybe there is sex in your violence.
3:28 — I always hear this lyric as “Trust you once, wagah.”
3:36 — Some dude wearing an animal skin. Does he think Elvis is dead?
3:48 — The woman is back but, in another 90s music video cliché, she disappears while running away.
3:53 — Chill out, Gavin.
4:06 — It’s that final, anguised “zen!” that makes me want to punch the wall.
One final note: Bush was British but they were never big in the UK. This is all on you, America!