Just from hearing the plot description, you would probably think that Picasso Trigger is a fairly straight forward film.
Basically, Picasso Trigger (John Aprea) is an international criminal mastermind and a lover of the arts. After he drops a painting of a Picasso Trigger (the fish, not the character) off at the Louvre, he is promptly blown up by an assassin. The assassin was sent by one of his rivals, the evil Miguel Ortiz (Robert Obergon). So now, Picasso is dead and Ortiz is now even more powerful than he was before.
Make sense so far?
It turns out that Picasso Trigger was not the only person that Ortiz hates. Ortiz also has a vendetta against the secret American law enforcement agency that Ortiz blames for the death of his brother. So, Ortiz decides that the time is right to start assassinating all of the members of that agency. The surviving members of the agency have to stop Ortiz before he kills them all.
That wasn’t hard to follow, right?
Now, just try watching the movie.
Seriously, even by the standards of Andy Sidaris, Picasso Trigger is a total mess. It’s a follow-up to Malibu Express and Hard Ticket To Hawaii, which means that Dona Speir and Hope Marie Carlton are back and flying around Hawaii in their airplane. There’s also two more Abilenes to deal with, L.G. Abilene (Guich Kook) and his nephew, Travis (Steve Bond).
For some reason, L.G. sends Travis on a mission to Dallas. It has something to do with what’s going on with Picasso Trigger and Miguel Ortiz but I was never sure what. But the important thing is that Picasso Trigger‘s Dallas scenes were actually shot in Dallas. (I always like seeing my hometown in the movies.) Once Travis arrives in Dallas, he meets another agent named Pantera (Roberta Vasquez). Apparently, Travis and Pantera went to high school together. The mission in Dallas leads to Travis stealing a boat. I’m not sure why.
Anyway, eventually, we get back to Ortiz trying to kill agents and the question of whether Picasso Trigger was actually blown up or not. To be honest, so many people get blown up over the course of the movie that I’m not surprised that even a super secret government agency had a hard time keeping up with who was still around. It turns out that there’s a double agent within the agency. Who could it be!?
One thing that about Picasso Trigger that made a huge impression on me was just how nonchalant everyone was about being targeted for assassination. No one seemed to be too upset about any of it. Travis, for his part, just seemed to be hanging out.
The other interesting thing about Picasso Trigger is that it featured an explosive boomerang. Here’s the thing, though, What if you threw the boomerang and it missed its target? Wouldn’t it come flying back and blow you up? Seriously, I don’t think the government really thought that weapon through.
Anyway, Picasso Trigger is a total mess but it’s likable in its silly way. The film doesn’t take itself seriously, which helps. And hey, it’s a chance to see what Dallas looked like in 1988!