“Four days ago, a fire fell from the sky.”
So says Sister Ann (Travis Brooks Stewart), the former prostitute junkie turned nun who narrates Future War. She says it at least three times.
But what was in that fire?
Was it The Runaway (Daniel Bernhardt), the Swiss kickboxer who was kidnapped by intergalactic slave traders shortly after the writing of the King James’s Bible and who, when he finally escapes, somehow finds himself in 20th Century Los Angeles?
Was it the dinosaurs that were sent down to purse him?
Was it the Cyborg Master (played by Maniac Cop himself, Robert Z’Dar)?
Or was the fire from the sky any hope that Future War would feature consistent continuity and narrative logic crashing down to the Earth and burning up in the atmosphere?
Future War is one of the worst films ever made, which is the main reason to watch it.
Watch as The Runaway points up at the sky and proves incapable of speaking until it is convenient for him to do so!
Thrill to countless fights that take place in warehouses that appear to be full of empty boxes!
Listen as multiple plot holes and inconsistencies are explained away by Sister Ann’s voice over!
Gasp at the sight of The Runaway and The Cyborg Master having a showdown in a church, John Woo-style!
Scream as dinosaur puppets are held really close to the camera in an effort to make them look bigger!
Laugh as the late Forrest J Ackerman makes a cameo, reading Famous Monsters of Filmland before getting eaten!
Wonder why The Runaway’s chest is bloody and injured in one shot but not the next!
Future War has it all!