TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.5 “The Orchid’s Curse” (dir by Graeme Clifford)

Posted on April 14, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(This Good Friday review of the fifth episode of the 2nd season of Twin Peaks is dedicated to my mom, Gloria Elena Marchi, who would have been 59 years old today. So, it better be a good episode, right?)

This episode of Twin Peaks was directed by Graeme Clifford, an Australian filmmaker who has several films and tv shows to his credit. As an editor, Clifford worked on some of the best films of the 70s, several of which share the surrealistic vision of David Lynch. Among the films that Clifford worked on: Robert Altman’s Images, Nicolas Roeg’s Don’t Look Now and The Man Who Fell To Earth, and the ultimate cult classic, The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

The Orchid’s Curse (and, as I pointed out yesterday, I love the pulpiness of that title) is the only episode of Twin Peaks that he directed. It’s also the first of four episodes to be credited to writer Barry Pullman.

Let’s take a look at The Orchid’s Curse!

Following the haunting opening credits, we get Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan). Dale is waking up in bed and, as always, talking into his tape recorder. He had a dream that he was eating a tasteless gum drop, just to wake up and discover that he was chewing on one of his ear plugs. As I listened to Dale speak, I breathed a sigh of relief. After the previous episode had him acting all out-of-character, it was nice to have the old Dale back.

Dale notices an envelope taped underneath his bed. It’s a note from Audrey, telling Dale that she’s gone up to One-Eyed Jack’s. Okay, Dale — now you know where Audrey is! GO RESCUE HER!

At the police station, Deputy Hawk (Michael Horse) comes in and wow, is he mad! Oh wait — he just has to go to the bathroom. As he explains to Harry (Michael Ontkean), two retired school teachers live in the house next to the Palmer summer home. Neither of them have ever seen BOB before but apparently, they made him drink two pots of tea before telling him that.

Lucy (Kimmy Robertson) tells Harry that she’s going to down to Tacoma to see her sister, who has just had a baby. She offers to stick around long enough to show the temp how to do everything. Harry tells her that they’ve got it covered but Lucy obviously knows better. As an administrative professional, I related so much to Lucy in this scene.

At the Johnson house, a salesman named Mr. Pinkle (David Lander) is showing Bobby (Dana Ashbrook) and Shelly (Madchen Amick) a product that he calls “porto-patient.” Basically, it’s a harness and crane that allows you to drag around a comatose person Shelly and Bobby are obviously planning on having some fun with Leo. Sure, how could that backfire? Bobby does worry that porto-patient appears to be a death trap and that they don’t want to kill Leo because then they won’t get his disability checks. Pinkle explains that it’s either porto-patient or a wheelbarrow.

Meanwhile, Judge Sternwood (Royal Dano) is holding court at the Roadhouse, for some reason. In my last review, I forgot to mention that Judge Sternwood travels with a much younger “law clerk.” I’m going to guess that the character of Judge Sternwood was based on Supreme Court Justice William O. Douglas.

William O. Douglas

Anyway, it’s time for Leland Plamer’s arraignment. Prosecutor Lodwick (Ritch Brinkley) argues that Leland (Ray Wise) should not be given bail because of the seriousness of the crime and “the oft-witnessed instability of Mr. Palmer after the death of his daughter.” Harry speaks on Leland’s behalf. Harry says that Leland is a well-respected member of the community.

(Meanwhile, Deputy Andy (Harry Goaz) gets even more adorable by doing courtroom sketches, all of which are pictures of the back of Leland’s head.)

Judge Sternwood released Leland on his own recognizance, a ruling that will prove to be so ill-thought that it actually could have been issued by William O. Douglas. (But I kid the late Judge Douglas!)

At the Harold Smith House, Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) shows up with another Meals on Wheels tray. Harold (Lenny von Dohlen) is waiting for her, a glass of wine in his hand.

“What’s behind those deep blue eyes today?” Harold asks. Oh, Harold!

Donna says that she’ll share her life with Harold, as a part of his “living novel,” but only if he lets her read Laura’s secret diary. Harold offers to read the diary to her but he emphasizes that the diary must not leave his living room.

Donna starts telling Harold about her life but quickly turns things on him, asking where he’s from and where he grew up. Harold’s from Boston and he says he grew up in books. As I watched this scene, I found myself marveling at Lenny von Dohlen’s wonderful performance. Harold is definitely creepy but von Dohlen still brought a definite sweetness to the character. I actually found myself starting to get a little bit mad at the way that Donna was manipulating him.

Seriously, Donna, don’t hurt Harold!

Donna, apparently, was not listening to me because she snatched Laura’s diary and, teasingly, used it to lead Harold outside. Harold immediately had a panic attack, which should teach Donna an important lesson about trying to act like Audrey.

Back at the Road House, Judge Sternwood rules on Leo’s competency. Leo’s lawyer is played by songwriter Van Dyke Parks and, as I watched this scene, I found myself wondering why every lawyer and judge in Twin Peaks — with the exception Leland Palmer — insisted on dressing like an extra in a 1950s western. I mean, it kind of works and I guess you could make the argument that Judge Sternwood holding court in the Roadhouse is meant to pay homage to Judge Roy Bean.

In other words, Roy Bean + William O. Douglas = Judge Sternwood.

Judge Sternwood summons Cooper and Harry to the bar so that he can deliberate on Leo’s competency while his “law clerk” serves up drinks. Sternwood drinks something called a Black Yukon Sucker Punch. Yuck.

Anyway, because he’s not a very good judge, Sternwood rules that Leo is not competent to stand trail and sends him home with Shelly.

At the Hurley house, Big Ed (Everett McGill) and James (James Marshall) attempt to adjust to a new life in which one-eyed, middle-aged Nadine (Wendy Robie) thinks that she’s a teenager. Nadine goes to get a drink and rips off the refrigerator door. Apparently, that’s something that’s going to be happening from now on.

At the Great Northern, Ben (Richard Beymer) enters his all-wood office and is informed that a Mr. Tojamura is here to see him. Mr. Tojamura is the Japanese man that Ben saw last night, the one who smart viewers will have already figured out is actually Catherine (Piper Laurie) in a not very convincing disguise. Anyway, Tojamura says that he represents an investment firm that wants to invest in the Ghostwood Project and Ben gets all excited and…

WHY ISN’T BEN WORRIED ABOUT AUDREY!?

See, this is one thing that bothers me about season 2 of Twin Peaks. During season 1, Ben was greedy and amoral. He wasn’t a great father but, at the same time, he did love his daughter. That was what made Ben an interesting character. But, in season 2, Ben is just a caricature of an evil businessmen. Reportedly, after not interfering during season 1, ABC interfered a lot in season 2 and it’s obvious when you see how a character like Ben has been robbed of all his nuance.

Ben gets rid of Mr. Tojamura and then suddenly, Hank (Chris Mulkey) pops out of a secret passage and informs Ben that Cooper is on his way. On schedule, Cooper enters the office and Jean Renault (Michael Parks) calls from Canada. Jean wants Cooper to drop off a briefcase full of money at a merry-go-round, at midnight. “Leave it by the horse’s head.”

After Cooper gets the briefcase and leaves, Hank once again pops out of the secret passage. Ben tells Hank to follow Cooper, to make sure the money is delivered, and to bring back Audrey. Hank is confused. Shouldn’t Cooper bring back Audrey? No, Ben explains, Cooper isn’t coming back. Also, because Ben is cartoonishly evil now, he tells Hank to try to bring back both Audrey and the money.

That night, at the Hayward House, Donna and Maddy (Sheryl Lee) are conspiring on a way to ruin Harold’s life. Donna will distract Harold and Maddy will sneak into Harold’s house and steal the diary. Maddy, who tends to jump at her own shadow, seems like the worst possible person to use in a situation like this but then again, maybe that’s exactly why Donna’s using her.

See, this what I think is going on in Donna’s head: Maddy gets caught, Harold kills her, and then Donna gets James to herself. Donna has crossed into the dark side!

At One-Eyed Jacks, Jean and Blackie (Victoria Catlin) are rehearsing how Jean will get the briefcase and then kill Cooper with a blade that he has hidden underneath his sleeve. Can Jean and Blackie just die now? They’re kind of boring as villains. And every minute they’re alive, that’s another minute wasted on this stupid Audrey-bring-held-hostage subplot.

At the police station, Andy is struggling to figure out how to answer the phone and transfer calls. That’s right! Nobody appreciates a good administrative professional until she’s gone! Anyway, Andy calls the lab and discovers that he’s no longer sterile. As Doc Hayward puts it, “They’re not just three men on a fishing trip. They’re a whole damn town.” So, Andy could be the father of Lucy’s baby! Woo hoo! Excited, Andy calls Lucy in Tacoma and is shocked to learn that Lucy is not visiting her sister. Instead, she’s at Adams Abortion Clinic. “OH MY GOD!” Andy say.

In Harry’s office, Harry and Cooper are planning a raid on One-Eyed Jack’s. Hopefully, it won’t take them as long to attack as it took Rick to stand up to Negan on The Walking Dead. (Rick Grimes and Sheriff Truman have a lot in common but that’ll have to wait for a future post.)

Deputy Hawk comes in and says that he found out that the One-Armed Man has been staying at a motel but nobody’s seen him in a while. Hawk found a hypodermic needle and a weird drug in the motel room. “Weird, deep smell,” Hawk says. Harry sends Hawk home, apparently forgetting that Hawk is a member of the Book House Boys and, therefore, there’s no reason to leave him out of the planning of the raid.

At the Double R Diner, Maddy rushes in and asks for a cup of coffee to go. She doesn’t even notice that James is sitting at the counter. James looked a little offended and I was worried he was going to get all weepy but instead, he just said, “Hi.” Maddy says that she can’t talk now and, under Donna’s bad influence, she lies and says that she’s going back home.

At the Harold Smith House, Donna is talking to Harold. Donna tells Harold about the time that she and Laura went down to the Roadhouse to meet boys. The story starts with Laura talking Donna into wearing a short skirt and ends, as these often do, with skinny dipping. Harold, who would have loved Twitter, says that the story was beautiful. Meanwhile, Maddy lurks around outside.

At One-Eyed Jack’s, Cooper and Harry are also sneaking around outside. They’re both dressed in black, like Daniel Craig in the poster for SPECTRE, so we know that it’s commando time! As an owl — “The Owls are not what they seem,” — watches, Harry takes out one of the guards. They sneak through the backdoor and find themselves in the brothel section of One-Eyed Jacks, which is full of young women in lingerie and middle-aged men who all give off a “Ted-Kennedy-About-To-Drive-Mary-Jo-Kopechne-Home” sort of vibe.

Outside the Harold Smith House, Maddy drinks the coffee that she got at the Double R. Meanwhile, inside the house, Harold is telling Donna about orchids. Harold and Donna finally kiss and, overwhelmed, Harold has to leave the room. This is Maddy’s cue to break into the house and help Donna ruin the man’s life.

As Maddy lurks towards the house, Cooper is busy lurking around One-Eyed Jacks. “Hi,” Cooper says, grabbing Jean’s main lackey, “would you take me to Audrey Horne please?” Cooper is led to a bedroom, where an unconcious Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) is tied up. After punching out Jean’s main henchwoman, Cooper untied Audrey.

Meanwhile, Harry is watching Jean and Blackie talking in another room when, suddenly, Jean stabs Blackie to death. Well, that one down. Jean spots Harry and runs off. At the same time, Cooper runs up, carrying Audrey over her shoulder. Cooper and Harry start to run for the exit when they run into a bald man holding a gun.

“Goddammit,” I yelled, “I thought this stupid kidnapping plot was finally over!”

Suddenly, the bald man falls dead. There’s a knife on his back. It turns out that Deputy Hawk not only followed Harry and Cooper to One-Eyed Jack’s but he’s totally cool with killing people. Hawk’s a badass, y’all.

Outside One-Eyed Jack’s, Hank watches as Cooper, Harry, Audrey, and Hawk run off. He calls Ben but is then grabbed from behind by Jean.

At the Harold Smith House, Maddy is looking for the diary but, because Maddy is generally incompetent and no longer wearing her big red glasses, she is struggling to find it. Donna, who is in the greenhouse and waiting for Harold to return, tries to direct her. You can tell Donna’s thinking, “Why couldn’t it have been me and Laura looking for Maddy’s secret diary instead? That would have been so much easier!”

Suddenly, Harold’s back! He’s brought Donna big flower! Harold’s so sweet.

Despite Donna’s efforts to distract him, Harold sees Maddy stealing Laura’s diary. Cornering Maddy and Laura and holding a scary-looking gardening tool, Harold shouts, “Are you looking for secrets!? Do you know what the ultimate secret is!?”

At this point, I was hoping Harold would quote Jean Renior’s The Rules of the Game and say that the ultimate secret is that everyone has their own good reasons. Instead, Harold says that it’s “the secret of knowing who killed you,” and proceeds to use the tool to cut open his face!

NO, HAROLD!

Maddy screams, as well she should. Way to destroy someone’s life, Maddy. I realize that it was Donna’s plan but Maddy’s the one who took too long to find the diary.

Plus, I just don’t like Maddy.

Cooper to the rescue! Yesssssssss!

Anyway, that’s it for The Orchid’s Secret. This was a definite improvement over the previous episode, even with the kidnapping subplot. The performances of Lara Flynn Boyle and Lenny von Dohlen elevated this entire episode while Pullman and Clifford did a pretty decent job recreating the unique style of Lynch and Frost.

All in all, a worthy episode.

Previous Entries in The TSL’s Look At Twin Peaks:

A Movie A Day #96: Gladiator (1992, directed by Rowdy Herrington)

Posted on April 13, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

What ever happened to James Marshall?

Whenever the subject of Twin Peaks comes up, that question gets asked a lot. Marshall played the sensitive (and oft-ridiculed) motorcycle-riding rebel James Hurley on Twin Peaks and, after the show’s cancellation, he went on to play a key supporting role in A Few Good Men. Marshall’s role may not have been huge but he managed to hold his own against actors like Tom Cruise, Jack Nicholson, and Kevin Bacon.

And then after A Few Good Men, nothing.

Why did James Marshall disappear?

He starred in a movie called Gladiator.

No, not the Russell Crowe movie that won all the Oscars. This Gladiator is about Tommy Riley (played by James Marshall), a teenager who moves to Chicago from Massachusetts. As one of the only white kids in his new neighborhood, Tommy finds himself being harassed by the local gangs. One night, he gets into a fight in a parking lot. (Fortunately, none of the neighborhood gangs carry guns or knives. They settle everything with fists.) Pappy Jack (Robert Loggia) is so impressed with Tommy’s fighting skills that he recruits Tommy to fight in illegal, underground boxing matches. Normally, Tommy would say no but he needs the money to help his father (John Heard) pay off his gambling debts.

Once recruited, Tommy is trained by the wise Noah (Ossie Davis) and works for boxing promoter, Jimmy Horn. Horn is played by all-purpose bad guy Brian Dennehy, who gives such a villainous performance that even Lance Henriksen would say, “Dude, dial it down a notch.” Tommy befriends two other boxers, Romano (Jon Seda) and Lincoln (Cuba Gooding, Jr.). At the time that Gladiator was filmed, Marshall was hot off of Twin Peaks and Gooding was hot off of Boyz ‘n The Hood. Fortunately, Gooding’s role is actually pretty small so he survived Gladiator and was able to go on to win an Oscar for Jerry Maguire and play O.J. Simpson in American Crime Story. Marshall was less lucky.

At one time, I thought that no one could be a least convincing boxer than Damon Wayans was in The Great White Hype. Then I watched Gladiator and saw James Marshall dancing around the ring and throwing punches. Normally, good editing can be used to disguise a lack of athletic ability but both Marshall and Gooding are so miscast as boxers that all the editing in the world can’t help. Jon Seda, who actually was an amateur boxer before getting into acting, is more convincing in the ring but his character is so saintly that anyone watching will know better than to get too attached to him.

A still notorious flop at the box office, Gladiator was directed by Rowdy Herrington but it’s no Roadhouse.

TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.4 “Laura’s Secret Diary” (dir by Todd Holland)

Posted on April 13, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“Heaven is a large and interesting place, sir.”

— Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) in Twin Peaks 2.4 “Laura’s Secret Diary”

I have to admit that I initially got really excited when I saw who had directed Laura’s Secret Diary.

That’s largely because I misread the name and I briefly thought that the episode was directed by the veteran horror director, Tom Holland. I happen to be friends on Facebook with Tom Holland and I immediately started to try to figure out the least intrusive way to ask him about his experience directing for Twin Peaks… But no, on second glance, it turned out that the director of this episode was Todd Holland. Todd Holland is another veteran director, though he’s best known for directing sitcoms.

Speaking of credits, this episode is credited to four different writers. Along with Twin Peaks mainstays Mark Frost, Harley Peyton, and Robert Engels, credit is also given to Jerry Stahl. Like Holland, Stahl worked on several sitcoms but he’s probably best known for his memoir, Permanent Midnight, in which he wrote about his experiences as a drug addict in Hollywood. Permanent Midnight was later turned into a movie, starring Ben Stiller as Stahl. (Of course, before all that, Stahl wrote the script for an odd sci-fi film called Cafe Flesh, a movie that many consider to be one of the best pornographic films of all time.) As quoted in Reflections: An Oral History of Twin Peaks, Mark Frost says that Stahl wrote the initial script for Laura’s Secret Diary but the script was a “an absolute car wreck… He turned in a completely incomprehensible, unusable, incomplete script a few days late and as I recall there were blood stains on it.” Stahl’s script was rewritten by Frost, Peyton, and Engels.

How did they do? Well, let’s take a look at Laura’s Secret Diary!

As always, we start with the opening credits, attempting to lull us into the town’s false sense of security. What’s interesting is that, with each subsequent viewing of the opening credits, those shots of Twin Peaks and the woods and the waterfall become more and more ominous. Since the series started, we’ve learned a lot about goes on in those woods. We know what’s lurking underneath the surface.

The show begins with a disturbing image, one that feels extremely Lynchian even if it was directed by Todd Holland. We start with an extreme closeup of … well, we don’t know what we’re looking at it. It appears to be a white surface that is covered with dark holes but, only as the camera pulls away, do we realize that we’re looking at the wall of the police station’s interrogation room. On the soundtrack, we hear screams and a distorted voice repeating the words, “Daddy!” over and over again.

(As unsettling as this may be, it’s even more disturbing if you know what’s going to happen in the next few episodes. Twin Peaks is one of the few shows that is even more unsettling in retrospect.)

We then see that Leland (Ray Wise) is staring at the wall while Harry (Michael Ontkean) and Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) attempt to talk to him about the death of Jacques Renault. Leland confesses to the murder, crying as he does so. As always, Doc Hayward (Warren Frost) is standing in the background, watching. Doc Hayward is always watching in the background, almost enough to make me wonder if he’s real or if he’s just a dream character, a symbol of old-fashioned decency who has been fantasized into existence by the beleaguered citizens of Twin Peaks.

After Leland’s confession, Hayward and Cooper talk. When Hayward expresses some sympathy for Leland, Cooper snaps, “Do you approve of murder, doctor?” (This is our first clue that Cooper’s going to spend most of this episode not acting like his usual friendly self.) Cooper then storms off, probably leaving Hayward to wonder just what exactly he did wrong. However, Hayward doesn’t have long to wonder because suddenly, he’s got Andy (Harry Goaz) to deal with.

Andy is concerned that he “flunked” his “sperm test” and wants another shot. Doc Hayward gives him a specimen jar and tells him to put it in a brown paper bag once he’s done with it. “I’ll be in the car,” Hayward says. Andy goes off with the jar and a copy of Flesh World (and I think it might be the same copy of Flesh World that contained Laura and Ronette’s personal ads). Of course, he happens to run into Lucy (Kimmy Robertson), who is none too happy to see her ex-boyfriend heading to the men’s room with a pornographic magazine. “Hmmphf!” Lucy says.

While this drama unfolds, Harry informs Cooper that the judge will be arriving that afternoon. His name is Clinton Sternwood. He travels the circuit in a Winnebago. The district attorney is also coming. His name is Darryl Lodwick. Also, it turns out that no one named Robertson ever rented the house next to the Palmers’ summer cabin. The house is currently rented to a family named Kalispell. I’m assuming that it must be Funny Name Day in Twin Peaks.

Andy wanders by and, being Andy, he accidentally drops his specimen jar and it rolls underneath a chair in the waiting room. As Andy tries to retrieve it, Cooper sees that Andy is wearing the same brand of boots that they found at Leo Johnson’s house. Cooper asks about the boots and Andy thinks he’s asking about sperm and hilarity ensues. Anyway, it turns out that Andy bought the boots from the One-Armed Man, who is apparently still missing.

At the Great Northern, a frantic employee runs up to Ben Horne (Richard Beymer).

“Mr. Horne!” she says.

“Walk and talk,” Ben says and…

Wait a minute! WALK AND TALK!? AARON SORKIN, YOU’VE JUST BEEN RIPPING OFF TWIN PEAKS!

But anyway, the employee informs Ben that she’s heard a rumor that M.T. Wentz is coming to Twin Peaks. Well, of course, he is. It’s Funny Name Day, after all. But apparently, M.T. Wentz is some sort of famous travel writer. No one knows what Wentz looks like but a favorable Wentz review could put the Great Northern on the map.

Ben steps into his office and finds Jean Renault (Michael Parks) waiting for him. Oh my God! M.T. Wentz is Jean Renault!? No, actually, it turns out that Jean is just there to show Ben a video tape of Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) being held hostage. Renault wants money and he wants Dale Cooper to serve as the delivery man.

At the Double R Diner, Hank (Chris Mulkey) tells Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) that she looks pretty today and Donna says, “Thanks,” and considers that Hank is just as troubled as James Hurley but he doesn’t cry as much. However, Hank ruins his chances by making fun of the people on Donna’s Meals on Wheels route. “You wouldn’t understand,” Donna tells him.

Norma (Peggy Lipton) tells Hank that she’s just heard that M.T. Wentz is in town. Hank has no idea who that is. Apparently, they don’t read restaurant reviews in prison. Norma explains that a good review from M.T. Wentz could being a lot of business to the Double R, especially if it appears in a “Seattle paper.” Apparently, Norma is hoping to corner the vegan hipster market.

Though Hank doesn’t know who M.T. Wentz is, he still grabs a hundred dollar bill from the register and then leaves to buy flowers and other stuff that could make the Double R look worthy of a good review. He also tells Norma to call Big Ed. Big Ed can help clean the place up! Norma nods. It’s not as if Big Ed ever has anything else to do.

Meanwhile, Donna is having lunch with Harold Smith (Lenny Von Dohlen) and it must be said that Harold is probably on the cuter end of the recluse scale. Donna has to be happy that she didn’t get stuck with some sort of Howard Hughes-type with uncut finger nails and empty Kleenex boxes on his feet. Harold offers to read something from Laura’s secret diary. Donna says sure.

Harold reads a passage where Laura talks about how much she loves Donna. Laura worried that Donna wouldn’t be her friend if she knew “what my insides are really like.” Donna starts to cry and Harold apologizes. Donna says its okay but she wonders if maybe they should give the diary to the sheriff.

“No,” Harold says, “I’ve read this from cover to cover. There are no solutions.”

(Harold wasn’t the only person who read Laura’s diary from cover to cover. The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer was written by Jennifer Lynch and published shortly before the start of the second season. I’ve ordered a copy from Amazon and I’ll read it as soon as it arrives. Maybe if y’all are really nice to me, I’ll even write a review of it.)

Harold explains that people tells him their stories and he places them in a larger context. “Friends and lovers,” Harold says, even though there don’t seem to be any around. “Maybe you’ll be come one,” Harold says, as the creepy meter goes off the charts.

Meanwhile, at the Great Northern, Ben tells Cooper that Audrey has been kidnapped. Cooper is upset that Ben has circumvented “normal channels” and has contacted him directly. Uhmmm … is it just me or is Cooper kind of being a dick in this episode? This definitely does not seem to be the same Dale Cooper who has been present in every other episode of the show. It’s almost as if the script for this show was written by an outside writer who 1) hadn’t ever really watched Twin Peaks and 2) was struggling with personal issues of his own.

Meanwhile, at the Martell House, Josie (Joan Chen) has returned from Seattle. Oh my God, could Josie be M.T. Wentz!? IT WOULD EXPLAIN SO MUCH! But anyway, Josie tells Pete (Jack Nance) that she’s sorry about the mill burning down and that she’s happy that Catherine was around to take care of things. Pete mentions that Catherine died in the fire. Josie and Catherine share a hug, even as Pete explains that they still haven’t found Catherine’s body but they’re still going to have a service.

“I don’t know what, exactly, we’ll be burying,” Pete says…

Wait! If they haven’t found Catherine’s body, then she’s probably still alive! Maybe Catherine is actually M.T. Wentz…

At One-Eyed Jacks, Emory (Don Amendolia) leads Audrey into an office where a displeased Jean is waiting. Emory says that “Ms. Horne was a very bad girl, refusing to take her medicine.” When Jean realizes that Emory has been hitting Audrey, Jean shoots him. Good for Jean!

At the police station, Andy tries to approach Lucy but Lucy’s like, “Go talk to your magazines!” and she starts waving a big pair of scissors at him. At that point, Cooper walks into the station and tells Andy to go get some air. Cooper’s not in a good mood. He doesn’t have time for all of this. (In the past, Cooper would have made time but, in this episode, Dale Cooper is suddenly a raging jerk.) After Andy leaves, Cooper orders Lucy to explain what’s bothering her.

Lucy complains that Andy doesn’t work out, doesn’t wash his car, and doesn’t own a sports coat. That’s why she dumped Andy and started going out with Dick Tremayne. Tremayne owns a lot of coats, Lucy explains. Cooper asks Lucy if she knows what she wants. “I don’t know!” Lucy wails before running off.

Having ruined Lucy’s life, Cooper tells Harry that, even though he can’t give any specific details, he needs one of the Book House Boys. “The best one,” Cooper says. (In other words, not James.) “I’ll set it up,” Harry says, “9:30 at the Roadhouse.”

(Why do I have a feeling that Cooper’s going to show up at the Roadhouse and find Doc Hayward waiting for him? Actually, the Book House Boys are starting to remind me of the Brets from Flight of the Conchords.)

That night, at the nearly deserted Double R Diner, Norma and Hank watch as a fat man with a beard (Ritch Brinkley) walks in. “That must be him!” Norma says. The fat man orders a cheeseburger and then heads to the bathroom. Hank, proving the he really doesn’t understand how parole works, steals the man’s wallet while he’s gone. Hank quickly discovers that the bearded man is not M.T. Wentz. Instead, he’s Darryl Lodwick, the district attorney. Hank might want to return that wallet.

At another booth, Donna and Maddy (Sheryl Lee) talk. Maddy tries to apologize while Donna smokes a cigarette and glares at her. She wants to steal the diary from Harold’s house. She’ll do it with or without Maddy’s help.

As it rains outside, Harry goes to the Martell house and sees Josie. Josie tries to distract him by modeling a sexy black dress that she bought in Seattle. Being a paragon of truth and justice, Harry refuses to be distracted. He demands to know if Josie set the fire at the mill. “How could you!?” Josie responds. Josie and Harry end up making love on a couch while a mysterious Asian man watches from outside.

(M.T. Wentz, maybe?)

At the police station, as lightning flashes outside and thunder rumbles, Lucy drinks a cup of coffee. Judge Sternwood (played by Royal Dano, a veteran Western character actor) shows up at the station, followed by Harry and Cooper.

Sternwood asks how Cooper is finding Twin Peaks.

“Heaven, sir,” Cooper replies.

“Well, this week, heaven includes arson, multiple homicides, and an attempt on the life of a federal agent,” Sternwood replies.

“Heaven is a large and interesting place, sir,” Cooper says, a line which immediately made me think of Eraserhead and that radiator woman singing that, “In Heaven, everything is fine.”

Judge Sternwood and Cooper walk off and Lucy finally thinks that she can relax and drink her coffee. Suddenly, here comes Dick Tremayne (Ian Buchanan). Now, I have to say that, of all the new characters who showed up during the second season, Dick Tremayne is probably my favorite. He’s just such a salesman. Of course, he’s a jerk, too. But Ian Buchanan gives such a lively performance.

Dick says that he hasn’t slept. He hasn’t eaten. He’s been a fool. Dick has realized that he must do the right thing and that means … giving Lucy $650 for an abortion. Lucy kicks him out of the station and then locks herself in Harry’s office, loudly sobbing.

Andy escorts Leland to his meeting with the judge, only briefly stopping when he hears the distraught Lucy cry out, “OH DICK! WAS IT JUST YOUR ASCOT?!”

Judge Sternwood talks to Leland, saying that he knows Leland to be a decent man and a good attorney. Sternwood says that procedures must be observed but promises to raise a glass with Leland in Valhalla. Since Lodwick is still at the diner, the Judge decides to hold off on determining bail until the morning. Leland says that’s fine and that everyone’s being very nice to him in jail.

After Leland is escorted out, the Judge tells Harry and Cooper that they all have very difficult jobs. Maybe not as difficult as M.T. Wentz’s job but difficult nonetheless.

At the Great Northern, Ben is talking to the Lumber Queen semi-finalists while the mysterious Asian man stares at him. Ben and the Asian Man bow towards each other. The Asian man is checking into the hotel. He says that he only pays in cash and that he’s from Seattle. Oh my God, could it be M.T. Wentz!? That’s certainly what the desk clerk thinks…

Except, of course, we know that it’s not M.T. Wentz. It’s pretty obvious that the Asian man is actually Catherine Martell in disguise. It doesn’t matter how much makeup she wear or how much she lowers her voice, Piper Laurie is Piper Laurie.

At the Martell House, Josie’s cousin, Jonathan (Mark Takano), has arrives. Josie introduces him to Pete. Pete goes off to get coffee and suddenly, Jonathan sneers and says he doesn’t know how Josie survived living in Twin Peaks. Jonathan says they have to get back to Hong Kong. “Are there any complications?” Jonathan asks.

(Oh, there’s always a few. It’s Twin Peaks!)

Meanwhile, at the Roadhouse, Dale waits for the arrival of the best Book House Boy. Now, I have to admit that I was expecting either Hank or maybe M.T. Wentz to come walking through the door. Instead, it’s Harry!

“Are we in any particular hurry?” Harry asks.

“Harry, let me buy you a beer,” Dale says.

Sure, Cooper, why not? I mean, hey, IT’S NOT LIKE AUDREY’S BEEN KIDNAPPED WHILE TRYING TO HELP YOU OUT OR ANYTHING!

Seriously, what’s going on with Dale in this episode?

Hey, Cooper — remember Audrey!?

At the Double R, Hank (who apparently lives in the diner) is woken up by someone knocking on the front door. When Hank goes to answer the door, he is attacked by Jonathan. Jonathan knocks him to the floor and then says, “Blood brother. Next time, I take your head off.”

And this rather frustrating and uneven episode of Twin Peaks comes to an end.

It’s hard to know what to make of Laura’s Secret Diary. There were parts that I really liked, like the opening shot in the interrogation room and some of the humor between Andy, Lucy, and Dick. But, at the same time, you’ve got Dale acting totally out-of-character, the strangely unresolved M.T. Wentz thing, and it’s hard not to feel that Audrey Being Kidnapped is a storyline that should have been resolved in two episodes, as opposed to being dragged out for as long as it was. Audrey is too important a character to spend the first half of season 2 in a daze.

Tomorrow’s episode — The Orchid’s Kiss!

(That sounds like the title of one of the paperbacks that my sister would select for Artwork of the Day, doesn’t it?)

Previous Entries in The TSL’s Look At Twin Peaks:

A Movie A Day #95: The Return of Josey Wales (1986, directed by Michael Parks)

Posted on April 12, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

Four years before he played Jean Reanult on Twin Peaks, actor Michael Parks starred in and made his directorial debut with the obscure western, The Return of Josey Wales.

As is obvious from the title, The Return of Josey Wales is a sequel to the iconic Clint Eastwood western, The Outlaw Josey Wales. In fact, The Return of Josey Wales was based on a novel that author Forrest Carter wrote after the initial success of Eastwood’s film. Originally, Clint himself was going to direct and star in the sequel. However, Eastwood withdrew from the project and it would be years before The Return of Josey Wales would eventually be made with a miniscule budget and given a very limited theatrical release. By the time the film was released, it had long since been discovered that Forrest Carter, who had always portrayed himself as being a Cherokee shaman-turned-writer, was actually Asa Earl Carter, a former member of the Ku Klux Klan who had previously worked as a speech writer for arch segregationist, George Wallace.

Along with taking over from Eastwood as the film’s director, Michael Parks also took over the role of Josey Wales. Having faked his death, Josey is now living on a small farm in Texas and going out of his way not to draw attention to himself. One day, a man named Paco (Paco Vela) shows up and tells Josey that a corrupt Mexican policeman has killed one of Josey’s friends and locked another one up in prison. It’s time for Josey to say goodbye to his new wife, jump on a horse, and head down to Mexico.

The Return of Josey Wales never escapes the shadow of The Outlaw Josey Wales, even though the two films have little in common. As a director, Michael Parks is no Clint Eastwood and his reliance on stock footage reveals how little of a budget he had to work with. As an actor, Parks gives a totally different performance from Clint Eastwood’s. Clint’s Josey Wales was hardened and embittered by his experiences. Michael Parks plays Josey more as an underestimated hick who is not afraid to use a gun if he has to. There is a lot of Earl McGraw in this version of Josey Wales. That does not mean that Michael Parks gives a bad performance. In fact, his performance is the best thing in the film.

The Return of Josey Wales is for Western completists only.

(This review originally stated that Eastwood left the project after it was revealed that Forrest Carter was Asa Carter. According to Dan T. Carter’s comment below, Eastwood actually left the sequel long before Forrest Carter’s actual identity was revealed.)

TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.3 “The Man Behind The Glass” (directed by Lesli Linka Glatter)

Posted on April 12, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

The third episode of season two opens at the hospital, where Ronette Pulaski (Pheobe Augustine) is having another freak out while Harry (Michael Ontkean), Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan), and Albert (Miguel Ferrer) look on. Someone tried to poison her IV. Cooper discovers that someone has also put a “B” under Ronette’s fingernail. Harry says that Ronette was under guard all night and there is no way that anyone could have gotten to her. Albert says, “Maybe she heard a Sousa march and got up to twirl a baton.”

Cooper reveals to Albert and Harry that he was visited twice by a giant and tells them the three clues that he was given.

“You were visited by a giant?” Harry says.

“Any relation to the dwarf?” Albert asks.

Elsewhere, Donna Hayward (Lara Flynn Boyle) goes to reclusive Harold Smith’s house and we finally meet Harold (played by Lenny Von Dohlen, who was the direct-to-video version of Anthony Perkins in the 1990s). Harold’s house is full of flowers. He explains that he used to be horticulturist but now he is a shut in. He says that he and Laura were close and that she told him everything about Donna. Donna asks why Laura never said anything about him. Harold says that Laura liked to think of him as being, “the mystery in her life.” After promising to come back and visit later, Donna leaves.

Back at the police station, Cooper is at the chalkboard again and explaining to Harry and Albert how four living people — Sarah Palmer, Ronette, Maddy, and himself — have seen the “long-haired man.” Harry is still hung up on the giant. “Did he have a booming voice?”

Albert suggests that Harry should learn how to walk without dragging his knuckles on the floor which leads to Harry grabbing Albert’s shirt and Albert declaring that he rejects violence.

“I love you, Sheriff Truman,” Albert says before leaving.

“Albert’s path is a strange and difficult one,” Cooper says. No doubt, Coop.

James (James Marshall) comes to the station. Cooper tells him that he is not being charged because the cocaine was planted and that he needs to stop hanging out around the police station.

Harry is still trying to understand what Cooper meant when he said he saw a giant when Leland (Ray Wise) finally shows up at the police station and tells them that “the long-haired man” used to live next door to his family’s summer home. His name was “Robertson” but everyone called him Bob. “One more thing,” Leland says, “he used to flick matches at me.”

At the Double R Diner, Lucy (Kimmy Robertson) is having lunch with Richard Tremayne (Ian Buchanan), who may be the father of her baby. Richard is a salesman at Horne’s Department Store and he’s so slick that smooth jazz plays whenever he enters a room. Richard and Lucy had one date, in which he promised to take her to the Seattle Space Needle but instead, took her to Pancake Plantation instead. Lucy tells Richard that she’s pregnant.

At a nearby booth, James and Maddy (Sheryl Lee) sit and talk. James is confused because he says that Donna is trying to “act tough all the time.” James says that sometimes, he thinks he should just get on his bike and go. (Maybe he has been watching old episodes of Then Came Bronson, starring tonight’s special guest star, Michael Parks.) Donna comes in the diner and sees that James and Maddy are together. Donna announces that she met Harold Smith and that he is bright and charming, “unlike anyone I know.” Then, she leaves.

At One-Eyed Jack’s, Emory and Blackie (Victoria Catlin) have tied up Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn). Blackie is going to hold Audrey hostage and demand a ransom from Ben Horne.

Back at the police station, the One-Armed Man, Mr. Gerard (Al Strobel), is showing Harry his latest selection in shoes. Gerard blanks out for a minute and says that he sometimes gets disoreintated. Harry goes to get Gerard a glass of water and runs into Shelly Johnson (Madchen Amick). Cooper wants to talk to her about Leo and the fire at the mill but Shelly says she can’t testify against her husband. Laying on the charm, Cooper tells her that is okay and then sends her out of the office. He says the Shelly wants to get Leo’s life insurance and that she didn’t “think up this scheme by herself.”

But what about Laura Palmer!? Isn’t that what Cooper is supposed to be investigating?

Cooper goes to the Great Northern and asks Ben Horne (Richard Beymer) if he knows where Audrey is. Ben says that Audrey is missing but he does not seem to be to worried about it.

At One-Eyed Jack’s, tonight’s special guest star, Michael Parks, shows up. He is playing Jean Reanault, the brother of Jacques Renault. Blackie explains, to Emory, that Jean will act as their go-between with Ben. In return for 30% of the ransom, Jean will pretend to be the one who has kidnapped Audrey. Jean also demands that Agent Cooper, who he blames for the death of Jacques, be brought to him. Jean gives Audrey a shot of something. I had forgotten that Jean and Blackie kept Audrey drugged at One-Eyed Jack’s. I hope it’s not heroin because I don’t know if I can handle Twin Peaks turning into The French Connection Part II.

Michael Parks, like Russ Tamblyn and Richard Beymer, was one of many 1960s teen idols to be cast in Twin Peaks. Long before Tarantino has even made his first film, Lynch was resurrecting the careers of forgotten actors. If it’s thanks to Tarantino and, not Lynch, that Michael Parks is currently having a career renaissance, that’s because Michael Parks, quite frankly, lousy on Twin Peaks. Parks is much more convincing as Earl McGraw than he ever was as the French Canadian Jean Renault.

At the police station, Cooper wants to take a break and drink a cup of coffee but Harry is having a crisis because Josie is coming back to Twin Peaks tomorrow and he is worried about having to interrogate her about the fire at the mill. Harry also mentions that the One-Armed Man came by the station to sell shoes.

“The One-Armed man was here!?” Cooper says.

“Yeah,” Harry shrugs.

“Remember, in my dream,” Cooper explains, “the One-Armed Man knew BOB.”

Good point Cooper. Why wouldn’t Harry have told Cooper that the One-Armed Man was at the station? Are they even trying to catch Laura’s killer anymore? Even Deputy Hawk gives Harry a “You fucked up” look.

Going to the men’s room and searching for the One-Armed Man, Cooper comes across a hypodermic needle. “Without chemicals, he points,” Cooper says, “The Giant’s third clue. Harry, we’ve got to find the One-Armed Man.”

(Too bad that they had the One-Armed Man and then Harry let him wander off. Albert may have a point.)

At the hospital, the comatose Nadine (Wendy Robie) has been tied down. Dr. Hayward (Warren Frost) tells Ed (Everett McGill) that Nadine now has Hulk-like super strength. “She’s pumping out more adrenaline than a wildcat well,” Hayward explains.

Following the doctor’s advice, Ed sings “On top of Old Smokey” to her. (I was waiting for James to come in with his guitar and provide accompaniment but I guess he was busy with Maddy.) Ed singing causes Nadine to wake up and rip off her restraints. “Good God!” Ed says. Nadine does a cheer, because she now thinks that she and Ed are in high school and she is looking forward to cheerleader tryouts.

In his hospital room, Dr. Jacoby (Russ Tamblyn) is getting a foot massage from his Hawaiian wife, Eoloni, when Cooper and Harry drop by so that they can hypnotize him. Jacoby is so good at hypnosis that he hypnotizes himself. He flashes back to the murder of Jacques Renault and says that he knows the killer.

While this is happening, Donna puts some flowers (provided by Harold) on Laura’s grave. Donna talks to the dead Laura. Lara Flynn Boyle knocks her emotional monologue out of the park.

Of course, while Donna is pouring out her heart, James is kissing Maddy. Donna walks in on them and then runs out on them. James runs after her, screaming, “WHY!?”

Maddy goes to Leland for comfort but then Harry and Cooper show up and announce that Leland is under arrest. For killing Laura? No, for killing Jacques Renault.

Donna goes to Harold Smith and tells him about James and Maddy. Harold gives her a gift, the secret diary of Laura Palmer.

There is a classic episode of The Simpsons, in which the producers of Itchy and Scratchy become concerned that their show has become stale and uninteresting. To bring in new fans, they create the character of Poochie the Dog and, of course, they hire Homer to play him. Poochie has no real personality or reason for being on the show. He is just a mix of things that television executives think will appeal to their audience.

In Poochie’s first episode, Itchy and Scratchy are driving to the fireworks factory when they see Poochie standing on the side of the road. They pull over. “It’s our new friend, Poochie!” Poochie introduces himself and suddenly, the entire cartoon becomes about Poochie. Itchy and Scratchy are pushed to the side while Poochie sings, dances, raps, and plays basketball.

Watching the cartoon, Milhouse cries out, “When are they going to get to the fireworks factory!?”

That is probably how many viewers of Twin Peaks felt as they watched the second season. They had gotten wrapped up in the show. They had come up with their own theories about who killed Laura. All they wanted to know was who killed Laura Palmer and yet the show refused to tell them. Instead, it kept getting distracted by other things.

That is certainly the case with “The Man Behind The Glass.” While this episodes does do a lot to push the story and the mystery forward, it also gets sidetracked by a lot of subplots — like Jean Renault, Nadine thinking she was a teenager, and Lucy’s pregnancy — that are far less compelling than the mystery that has always been at the heart of Twin Peaks.

Who killed Laura Palmer?

For tomorrow, Lisa is back and reviewing episode 2.4, “The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer.”

Previous Entries in The TSL’s Look At Twin Peaks:

A Movie A Day #94: Eye of the Storm (1991, directed by Yuri Zeltser)

Posted on April 11, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

A motel sits off of a highway in the Nevada desert. One night, two criminals (Ally Walker and German boxer Wilhelm von Homburg) brutally murder the husband and wife who own the motel. Their youngest son, Steven, flees the criminals by jumping through a window and is left for dead.

Ten years later, the motel is still sitting off the highway, operated by the blind Steven (Bradley Gregg) and his older brother, Ray (Craig Sheffer). Ray is very protective of his brother and, when a car pulls up to the motel, he does not even want to turn on the vacancy sign.

The motel’s newest guests are a very unlikely couple. Marvin Gladstone (Dennis Hopper) is an alcoholic gambler who regularly berates at his much younger trophy wife, Sandra (Lara Flynn Boyle). Marvin and Sandra were heading to Las Vegas to renew their vows but the drunk Marvin accidentally drove their car off the road. Now, Marvin and Sandra are stranded at the motel while a dust storm approaches and one of the brothers turns out to be psychotic.

Eye of the Storm is another low-budget and predictable thriller from the 1990s but, taken on its own terms, it’s not bad. Along with some striking shots of the desert, Eye of the Storm features a quartet of strong performances. For fans of David Lynch, the main interest here will be seeing Blue Velvet‘s Dennis Hopper and Twin Peaks‘s Lara Flynn Boyle as a couple in trouble. Hopper especially seems to be enjoying himself and when his character leaves the movie, Eye of the Storm becomes much less interesting. Lara Flynn Boyle is sexy throughout, enough to make you reconsider everything you thought you knew about Donna Hayward.

See this one on a double bill with Red Rock West.

TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.2 “Coma” (directed by David Lynch)

Posted on April 11, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

Among fans of the series, the second season of Twin Peaks is a sore point. Almost everyone agrees that it was a let down and that it never matched the brilliance of the first season. The only question is why.

Was it because the first season started as a mid-season replacement and only had to come up with eight episodes worth of story? If the first season had been a full, 22-episode season would it have eventually become as uneven as the second season?

Was it because, as some ABC executives have suggested, David Lynch and Mark Frost were making up their complex story as they went along and, when the second season did not immediately reveal who killed Laura Palmer, they ended up alienating the audience through their self-indulgence?

Was it because, as supporters of Lynch and Frost often argue, ABC demanded more control over the series during the second season? One reason that it was such a shock to hear that Lynch would be bringing Twin Peaks back was because he swore, after the show’s first cancellation and the failure of the Mulholland Drive pilot, that he would never deal with television executives ever again.

It may be that all of the above is true but one thing is for sure. If the first season of Twin Peaks showed how far the medium of television could be pushed, the second season showed just how hard television can push back.

The second episode of the second season, Coma, was directed by Lynch himself. It opens with Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) and Albert (Miguel Ferrer) eating breakfast at the Great Northern. For some reason, members of a Barbershop quarter, all wearing red striped jackets, are standing behind them. Cooper talks about the Happy Generations of Tibet. Albert is not happy about anything, not even Ronette Pulaski waking up. Albert also warns Cooper that his former partner, Windom Earle, has escaped from a mental asylum.

(Windom will be, after BOB, this season’s Big Bad.)

Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) is doing Laura’s Meals on Wheels route. When she brought a meal to Mrs. Tremond, a coughing woman who is confined to her bed, it took me a few minutes to realize why Mrs. Tremond looked so familiar. Mrs. Tremond was played by Frances Bay, who appeared on a classic episode of Seinfeld as a woman who is mugged for her marble rye. (Bay also appeared in Blue Velvet.)

Mrs. Tremond has a grandson (Austin Jack Lynch, the real-life son of David Lynch and Mary Fisk). He wears a tuxdeo, sits in a corner, and says, “Sometimes things can happen just like this,” before snapping his fingers. When Mrs. Tremond sees creamed corn on her meals on wheel plate, says that she asked for no creamed corn and suddenly, the creamed corn appears in her grandson’s hands.

“My grandson is studying magic,” Mrs. Tremond says.

“That’s nice,” Donna says, while the grandson stares at her without the slightest hint of a smile.

Mrs. Tremond tells Donna that she did not know Laura but she recommends that Donna ask “Mr. Smith” next door. “He was Laura’s friend.”

“J’ai une ame soilitaire,” Mrs. Tremond’s grandson adds.

(Deliberately surreal scenes like this might be why ABC executives felt that they needed to step in and assert some control over the show. Fans of David Lynch love this stuff and the scene may not seem that unusual now that we are living in a world where almost every show owes some sort of debt to Twin Peaks but, in 1990, viewers, many of whom were unfamiliar with Lynch’s films, were probably saying, “This is too weird for me,” and changing the channel.)

Donna goes next door and, when Mr. Smith fails to respond to her knocking, she slips a note under his door.

At the hospital, Cooper and Harry (Michael Ontkean) drop in on Ronette (Phoebe Augustine). After some lengthy business about Cooper and Harry trying to figure out how set up a stool so that they can sit next to Ronette’s bed, Cooper shows Ronette sketches of both BOB and Leo. Though Ronette cannot speak, she still shakes her head no when Cooper asks her if Leo is the man who hurt her. However, the sketch of BOB causes Ronette to freak out. “Trrr…trrr…” Ronette says, which Cooper interprets as meaning, “Train.”

At the Great Northern, Ben (Richard Beymer) and Jerry (David Patrick Kelly) sit on the floor and stare at two ledgers. The real ledger shows the Packard Mill slowly sinking into bankruptcy. The fake ledger shows the mill turning a profit. Ben and Jerry are trying to decide which ledger to burn. Since they can’t make up their mind, they decide to roast marshmallows instead.

(Meanwhile, in 1990, a housewife in Michigan says, “This is too weird,” and changes the channel over to Beverly Hills 90210 on Fox.)

At the Double R Diner, Andy (Harry Goaz) has been taping up pictures of BOB and now his hands are covered in tape. The Log Lady (Catherine Coulson) enters and sits down next to Major Briggs (Don S. Davis). Her log has something to tell Maj. Briggs.

“Can you hear it?” The Log Lady asks.

“No, ma’m, I cannot,” Maj. Briggs says.

“I will translate…deliver the message…do you understand?”

“Yes, ma’m, I do.”

At the police station, Lucy (Kimmy Robertson) kills a buzzing fly. Andy, who still has a piece of tape attached to his forehead, comes in and tells Lucy that, when he last donated to the sperm bank, he was told that he was sterile. So, if Lucy’s pregnant, it is not with his child. Lucy pulls the tape off his forehead and refuses to speak to him.

Hank (Chris Mulkey) comes by and signs in with Harry. Cooper watches as Harry and Hank have another tense conversation and, after Hank leaves, he asks Harry how long the two of them were friends. Harry says that Hank used to be a Bookhouse Boy. “Back then, he was one of the best of us,” Harry says.

Before Harry can continue, Ben Horne calls. He tells Harry that Audrey has been missing for two days. Then Jerry comes into Ben’s office and reveals that Catherine never signed the life insurance policy. “Win a few, lose a few,” Ben says.

Suddenly, the newly energized and white-haired Leland (Ray Wise) comes walking into the office. He says that Ben should call Thor Einer in Iceland, just to discover that Ben is already calling Thor Einer. Einer reveals that Leland already called him to tell him about the fire at the mill. Ben assures Einer that the fire is nothing to worry about, all the while glaring at Leland.

Leland sees a sketch of BOB in the corner of Ben’s office. Leland picks it up and says, “I know him.” Leland says that BOB used to live next door to his grandfather’s vacation home. Leland runs out of the office.

“Jerry,” Ben says, “please kill Leland.”

“Is this real, Ben,” Jerry says, “or just some strange and twisted dream?”

(Meanwhile, in 1990, a farmer in Iowa shakes his head, switches over to CBS, and watches Doctor, Doctor, a sitcom starring Matt Frewer.)

At the hospital, Doc Hayward (Warren Frost) updates Shelley (Madchen Amick) on Leo’s (Eric Da Re) condition. The bullet lodged in Leo’s spine. He lost a lot of blood and suffered brain damage. Shelly asks if Leo’s going to be a vegetable. Shelly cries but does not seem to be that upset.

At the police station, someone calls for Sheriff Truman but refuses to reveal their name. Lucy hangs up on them.

At One-Eyed Jack’s, Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) brings a bucket of ice to a room where her boss at Horne’s Department Store, Emory Battis (Don Amendolia), is tied up, blindfolded, and listening to a vacuum cleaner. Emory gets upset with the vacuum cleaner is turned off but is even more upset when Audrey wraps a cord around his throat, rips off his blindfold, and demands to know everything that he knows.

“I work for the owner of One-Eyed Jacks!” Emory says.

“WHO IS!?” Audrey demands, tightening the cord.

“Your father! He owns everything!” Emory goes on to say that Ben know Laura worked at One-Eyed Jack’s and then says, “Laura always got her way! Just like you!”

At night, Bobby (Dana Ashbrook) and Shelly sit in his car and listen to the generic rock station. They talk about ways to torture comatose Leo. Bobby has a plan. Shelly can bring Leo home and then collect his disability checks.

At the Great Northern, Dale records a message to Diane, telling her that Windom Earle has vanished. Unfortunately, as someone who has sat through all of season 2, I already know how long the show is going to draw out the Window Earle storyline. Before I can spend too much time dwelling on that, Maj. Briggs shows up at Dale’s hotel room. Is he delivering the log’s message?

Yes, he is! Maj. Briggs says that he can not reveal the nature of his work or the identity of the message sender but Briggs does reveal that, as a part of his work for the federal government, Maj. Briggs keeps an eye on transmission’s received by deep-space monitors, “aimed at galaxies beyond our own.” Most of the time, the transmissions are just gibberish but, on Thursday night/Friday morning, the following transmission came in:

“The owls are not what they seem.”

This was followed, hours later, by another transmission: “Cooper. Cooper. Cooper.”

(Meanwhile, in 1990, a man in Florida says, “I can’t follow this,” and changes the channel to CBS so he can watch the last few minutes of the first attempt to bring The Flash to network television.)

We now reach one of the most derided scenes in the history of Twin Peaks. At the Hayward House, James (James Marshall) plays guitar while Maddy (Sheryl Lee) and Donna sing a song into a microphone. Supposedly, the inspiration for this scene came after David Lynch walked by James Marshall’s dressing room and heard Marshall playing a blues riff.

Musical interludes are actually one of Lynch’s trademarks. Remember Dean Stockwell and Isabella Rossellini in Blue Velvet? Or Bill Pullman at the jazz club in Lost Highway? Or the Llorando scene in Mulholland Drive? Even the pilot for Twin Peaks had Julie Cruise singing at the Road House. The problem with the scene in Coma is that the song is boring and that the performance seems to drag on forever. Whatever genius that Lynch thought he heard coming from Marshall’s dressing room is not present in the Hayward House.

(In 1990, a Montana rancher gives up once the song reaches the second verse. He switches over to NBC, just in time to catch the final punchline in that night’s episode of a new sitcom called Wings.)

Finally, Donna gets jealous of the way that James is looking at Maddy and runs over to a corner of the house. When James walks up to her, she kisses him.

Way to Go, James!

“Donna,” James asks, “what’s going on?”

Dude, don’t ask questions! Just go with it!

“I’m trembling, James,” Donna says, “You made me.”

Wait, what?

The phone rings. Donna ignores it but Doc Hayward answers and yells downstairs, “Donna, there’s a telephone call for you from a Harold Smith.”

Donna takes the call and asks Harold if they can meet.

Meanwhile, Maddy sits in front of the microphone with a “What did I do?” look on her face. Suddenly, she sees BOB (Frank Silva) walking through the living room. She screams as he climbs over the couch. James and eventually Donna run over to her. Bob has vanished.

At the Great Northern, Cooper has a dream. He sees the Giant. He hears Maj. Briggs saying, “The owls are not what they seem.” BOB appears. His face morphs into the face of an owl and then back again.

Cooper is woken up by the sound of his telephone ringing. It’s Audrey. She’s crying. “Why aren’t you here?” she says. Cooper tells her that she needs to come home.

Suddenly, the call is cut off. Audrey has been discovered by Blackie (Victoria Catlin) and Emory. “Trouble, Ms. Horne?” Blackie says. “You don’t know what trouble is.”

End credits.

But do not worry. Cooper, Audrey, Lucy, and all your favorites will return in the next episode, The Man Behind the Glass, which I’ll be reviewing tomorrow.

Previous Entries in The TSL’s Look At Twin Peaks:

A Movie A Day #93: Whore (1991, directed by Ken Russell)

Posted on April 10, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

Liz (Theresa Russell) is a prostitute trying to survive on the mean streets of Los Angeles. With the help of a homeless performance named Rasta (Antonio Fargas), Liz tries to escape from her abusive pimp, Blake (Benjamin Mouton).

To its credit, Whore was made as a response to the glamorous and irresponsible way that prostitution was portrayed in Pretty Woman but Whore had too much going against it to succeed. It was based on a theatrical monologue, which was almost always a bad sign. The majority of the movie was Liz talking straight to the camera, which was another red flag. Most ominously, it was a Theresa Russell movie that was not directed by Nicolas Roeg and those never seemed to turn out well. The director of Whore was Ken Russell but it featured none of the excess that Russell was known for. Stuck with a low-budget and a reportedly unenthusiastic studio, Russell’s direction was uncharacteristically restrained. (That’s a polite way of saying boring.)

The one good thing about Whore, and the reason why I’m writing about it during this site’s look back at Twin Peaks, was the presence of Jack Nance, playing one of the few men who actually tries to help Liz. Nance, of course, not only played fishing-obsessed Pete Martell in Twin Peaks but also starred in Eraserhead and appeared in all of Lynch’s films (with the exception of The Elephant Man) up until Nance’s mysterious death in 1996. Literally credited as playing “Helpful passerby.” Nance only had a few minutes of screen time but made a definite impression as one of the few kind people to be found in Liz’s dark world.

As a reflection of how much times have changed, Whore‘s title was so controversial that, in 1991, it was released in some areas under an alternative title: If You Can’t Say It, Just See It.

TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.1 “May The Giant Be With You” (dir by David Lynch)

Posted on April 10, 2017 by Leonard Wilson

twin-peaks-sign

For four months, people wondered about the fate of Special Agent Dale Cooper, while speculating on who really killed Laura Palmer. The impact of that first season was strong. Twin Peaks would go on to win a number of Golden Globes. Kyle MacLachlan won for Best Actor in a Drama, Piper Laurie for Best Supporting Actress, and the show won Best Drama Series for 1991.

This piece will be shorter than my last one, even though the episode was about an hour and a half long. As writing about TV is somewhat new to me, I ask for your patience as I fine tune things, and thank anyone for reading. This is a fun project.

Directed by David Lynch himself, “May the Giant Be With You”, opens with Agent Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) on the floor, having been shot 3 times in the chest and stomach and reflecting on the experience. He’s visited by both a member of the morning room service staff with a few communication issues and a very tall gentleman (Carol Struycken) who tells him three things:

1.) There’s a man in a smiling bag.

2.) The Owls are not what they seem.

3.) Without chemicals, he points.

The tall figure let’s Cooper know this is all he’s allowed to say and can’t elaborate. He also takes Cooper’s ring and promises to return it once Cooper sees the truth in what he’s told. As an afterthought, the figure adds that there is an additional clue at Leo Johnson’s house (“Leo locked inside hungry horse.”). The figure then disappears, leaving Cooper to think about what he’s been told.

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Meanwhile, at One Eyed Jack’s, Ben Horne (Richard Beymer) is trying to introduce him to the “New Girl”, unaware that the girl is actually his daughter, Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn). Audrey is able to fight off his advances while hiding her identity in a scene that shows her just how creepy her dad is. We also learn that Blackie is a drug addict, getting her fix from Jerry (David Patrick Kelley).

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Cooper, still on the floor, is still recording his thoughts on his tape deck, going over his regrets and hopes. Before he can expire, Truman, Andy and Hawk arrive, and Agent Cooper is rushed to the Hospital. When he regains consciousness, Dr. Hayward shows him the extracted bullet, which hit a tick he was trying to get to before the incident began. Cooper can’t recall anything clear about the figure that shot him. Lucy explains that in the time he was out, Leo was shot, Jacques was strangled, the Mill burned, Shelley and Pete got smoke inhalation, Catherine and Josie are missing and Nadine is in the hospital, having taken too many sleeping pills. It’s kind of comical when Cooper asks how long he was out and receives the response that it all occurred the night before.

Shelley is recuperating from smoke inhalation, but is inconsolable due to the loss of Bobby Briggs (Dana Ashbrook). Cooper witness a body bag being wheeled through the hospital, and is told that it’s the body of Jacques Renault, which causes Cooper to ask if the bag is smiling. Is that the first clue the Giant provided come to pass?

At the Palmer residence, Maddy (Sheryl Lee) and Sarah (Grace Zabriskie) are talking about Maddy’s dream of Laura when Leland (Ray Wise) steps into view, his hair completely white. Sarah and Maddy look on in disbelief. Having dispatched Jacques the night before, Leland is a new man. He still sings and dances, but appears to be much more pleasant and merry now. Before the scene ends, Maddy sees the blood imprint of what I believe is Laura’s body, stirring her to screams. Watching that moment reminded me of Sheryl Lee’s performance in John Carpenter’s Vampires (“He killed a Priest!!”) – pretty much the same scream.

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Leland makes a return appearance at the Great Western, presenting himself with the same song he gave his family. Ben and Jerry, who were trying to figure out how Leo wasn’t killed, greet Leland with a song and dance and welcome him with open arms.

Truman and Cooper are at Leo’s house, examining the bullet hole in the glass. Cooper is able to perfectly piece together the attack on Bobby, though Truman believes it’s Shelly that was the victim here. Cooper notes that they need to confirm when Shelly arrived at the Mill to confirm if she was the one. A car approaches, bringing Andy (Harry Goaz) and Albert Rosenfeld (Miguel Ferrer) to the scene. Andy runs out to warn Truman and Cooper that Rosenfeld’s there, but steps on a loose board at Leo’s porch. The board flies up and smacks Andy right in the face, causing him to stumble around like a cartoon character. Up to the that point, I enjoyed the scene, but Andy’s reaction to getting hit – while funny – is just a little too drawn out for me. It’s helped by one of Rosenfeld’s classic quips, but not by much. Under the boards, Cooper and Truman discover a shoe with “Circle Brand” on the bottom and some drugs. Leo truly was into some underhanded things.

The next scene takes us to the Double R Diner. Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) is given a pair of sunglasses while Maddy destroys hers, as she’s tired of them. She’s looking for some change. Norma (Peggy Lipton) gives Donna a note that came into the diner that reads “Look into the Meals on Wheels”. They ponder the meaning of this while a lady cradling a log looks on.

Cooper is being checked by Rosenfeld, who was sent by Gordon Cole (David Lynch). Rosenfeld explains the obvious – he was shot at close range. Rosenfeld also adds that Jacques’ death could just be some kind of small town vengeance, which makes Cooper a little defensive. Andy comes into the room and adds some more information about the Giant’s clue. Leo was under arrest in Hungry Horse, Montana on the same date of Teresa Banks’ murder. Leo has his alibi.

Mike, the one-armed shoe salesman, makes an appearance at the precinct, to sell some shoes. Truman and James listen to Laura’s tape. Truman suggests it was break in. James states the door was already open. On the cocaine in his bike, James believes Bobby did that, possibly with Leo’s help. James explains that Laura went on about playing with fire, of playing with BOB, which Truman can’t figure out. Cooper comes in and demands the other half of Laura’s necklace. James gives it to him, and returns to his cell. Cooper understands that Jacoby is actually plays a bigger role in the entire affair, than previously expected.

Donna, sunglasses and all, pays James a visit. They have a mini between-the-bars make out moment, and she tells him she’s eager for him to get out of jail.

Cooper gives Lucy and Andy a task to go through issues of Flesh World to see if they can find a picture of Teresa Banks in it. Cooper and Truman visit Jacoby at the hospital. Cooper plays hardball and wants to know how Jacoby got a hold of half of Laura’s necklace. Jacoby claimed to be trailing a red corvette, but lost him near the Old Mill Road. A motorcycle and police cruiser passed him by and went into the woods. He trailed them (James and Donna) to the place where they buried something under the rock. The necklace was what Jacoby dug up and kept. Jacoby theorizes that Laura was looking to die, not by a suicide, but as a murder. In regards to Jacques murder, Jacoby was too sedated to have done it himself, but notes there was a strange smell in the air. It wasn’t Jacques voiding his bowels (as strangulation victims do), but of scorched engine oil.

Bobby visits Shelly at the hospital, who is happily surprised to see him alive. He promises to take care of her when she gets out. She tells him that Leo knows about the two of them and Bobby assures her she’ll be alright.

Rosenfeld, Cooper, and Truman find Ed, who is waiting on Nadine. She survived her suicide attempt, but is in a coma. He explains of how he proposed to Nadine and how she lost her eye, which he shot out by way of some buckshot ricochet. At the end of the conversation, Cooper discovers the smiling bag hanging on the wall of another room. Another clue brought to light. We also learn that the food in the hospital is really bad.

Norma, at the hospital, finds Ed at Nadine’s bedside. With a pained expression, she leaves them be.

At the Double R, Bobby runs into his father (Don Davis) and joins him at his table. They talk about school, and of a vision the father has of a place where he was born and raised. He dreamed of his son at this place, happy and carefree. They have a hug that’s warm and loving, and when he awoke, the father felt optimistic about Bobby’s future. He wishes Bobby nothing the best in life and heads home. Bobby actually sheds a tear. When Norma returns to the diner, Bobby watches her talk to Hank and realizes that he (Hank) was the one who shot Leo.

Back at the Precinct, Cooper breaks down what happened with Laura. Laura went to the cabin, had a tryst with Leo, Ronette and Jacques, and also note that the blood on Laura didn’t match any of the other individuals, so there’s another unknown that’s tied to the murder. For a clearer picture of what exactly happened that night, it’s recommended that one watches the Twin Peaks movie, Fire Walk With Me. If you want to keep with the mystery, avoid that and stay with the episodes until the reveal. Then jump to the film.

At Josie’s, Pete and Truman talk about Josie and Catherine, and adjusting to them gone. Pete has a sad moment here. A call comes in from an unnamed individual looking for Josie, which Truman picks up. We’re not given much information on that.

Over at the Great Northern, Ben and Jerry are debriefed on what happened with Hank and Leo. Hank lets them know that Leo was chopping wood inside his house – unaware that Bobby was ever there – and the shot was in his neck. Ben is hoping that the arson of the Mill will be pinned on Leo, who out of it, and Catherine, who’s presumed dead. The brothers will take care of the ledger.

Audrey is brought to Blackie at One Eyed Jack’s. She displeased that she didn’t give the owner the rendezvous he expected, and Audrey goes on to state that “he wasn’t her type”. Blackie warns Audrey that anyone and everyone will be Audrey’s type when she’s there. She has to get out of that place as soon as she can.

Donna makes a phone call to Norma inquiring about the Meals on Wheels. She offers to take over the route that Laura had when she worked there, to try to find out about what happened to her (though she doesn’t reveal this to Norma.

The next scene presents a happy surprise for Lynch fans. Gersten, a little red-haired girl, welcomes the Palmer and Hayward families to a mini party where she plays the piano. Fans of Dune will recognize the girl as Alicia Witt, who played Paul Atreides’ (Kyle MacLachlan) daughter. Fans of The Walking Dead will recognize her as the villain who captured Carol for a while before Carol broke loose and killed everyone on site. Gersten plays the piano (As Witt does so professionally) and they have some small conversation. Leland’s change in hair becomes the topic of conversation and in explaining how well he felt the morning it happened, he breaks into song. I’ll admit I liked this. Ray Wise is pretty good at singing, overall. Leland goes a little overboard and passes out, but with the doctor right there, they’re able to assist him right away. When he comes to a minute later, he says he feels happy. Just a rush of blood from the head, I suppose.

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Nighttime. Cooper is in his room, about to sleep. At the same time, Audrey is awake, lying on her bed and talking to him in the hopes that he can hear her. She hopes that he received her note and that she may be a little over her head in having gotten caught up in the craziness of One Eyed Jack’s. She only wanted to assist him. We then cut back to Cooper, who is visited once again by the Giant Man. The giant passes on some riddles for Cooper to solve.

The giant mentions Cooper shouldn’t search for all of the answers at once, and that they’ll occur like a path, one after the other. “One person saw the third man. Three have seen him, yes, but not his body. One only, known to you. Ready now to talk.” The giant also points out that he forgot something and imbues Cooper with a strange yellow light before disappearing. I’m not sure I understand it either at this point, but given how well the tiniest of clues have worked out in Twin Peaks, I’m certain it’s important.

The final scene is trailing shot into the hospital. Ronette wakes up to visions of BOB. BOB rushing at her. BOB at the cabin and BOB killing Laura under flickering lights. His laugh is maniacal as he does this. So, the question becomes “Where is BOB?”

The end credits return us to Alicia Witt and her piano skills, which was sweet to see.

Previous Entries in The TSL’s Look At Twin Peaks:

A Movie A Day #92: Love, Cheat, & Steal (1993, directed by William Curran)

Posted on April 9, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

Paul Harrington (John Lithgow) is a wealthy banking consultant who has just married a sexy, younger woman, Lauren (Madchen Amick). Paul thinks that Lauren is perfect but then her brother, Donald (Eric Roberts), shows up. What Paul does not know is that Donald is not actually Lauren’s brother. Instead, Donald is Reno, Lauren’s first husband who she never actually divorced. Reno has just escaped from prison where he was serving time for a crime for which he believes Lauren framed him. While Paul tries to save his father’s failing bank, Reno starts to plan a bank robbery and Lauren tries to balance her old life with Reno with her new life with Paul.

Mild neo noirs like Love, Cheat, & Steal were a dime a dozen in the 1990s. Love, Cheat, & Steal was made for Showtime and, throughout the 1990s, it used to tempt kids like me with its promise of “Brief Nudity” and “Adult Situations.” The only thing that makes it memorable is the presence of Madchen Amick, who was always the most beautiful of all of the Twin Peaks starlets, even if she often was overshadowed by Sherilyn Fenn and Lara Flynn Boyle. Madchen Amick has the right combination of girl next door innocence and enigmatic sultriness to make her perfect for movies like Love, Cheat, & Steal. Other than the presence of Madchen Amick, Love, Cheat, & Steal is best remembered for being your only chance to see Eric Roberts do a Jack Nicholson imitation.

One final note: Irish actor Dan O’Herlihy has a small role. Though he is best known for playing Conal Cochran in Halloween 3, he also co-starred with Amick during the second season of Twin Peaks.