Retro Television Reviews: T and T 1.9 “On Ice” and 1.10 “The Latest Development”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990.  The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, T.S. insults the national sport of Canada and Amy battles city hall.

Episode 1.9 “On Ice”

(Dir by Alan Simmonds, originally aired on March 7th, 1988)

“In this episode,” Mr. T tells us, “Decker is forced to face the truth about a long-time friend.”

Though T and T took place in a generic city, the show itself was filmed in Canada, with a largely Canadian cast and crew.  Hence, it only makes sense that the show would eventually do an episode that centered around hockey.  This episode opens with Mr. T’s friend, Decker (David Nerman), coaching a junior hockey game.  While the players skate on the ice and chase the puck, Decker deals with fans like the loud Mrs. Mowby (Jayne Eastwood), who is apparently convinced that she knows better how to coach the team than the actual coach!  Unfortunately, Decker is yanked out of the game by two detectives who announce that he is under arrest for “theft of over $2,000.”

After T.S. Turner and Amy bails Decker out of jail, Amy explains that it appears that over $25,000 has been embezzled from the Junior Hockey Association.  Decker admits to being the association’s treasurer but he also admits to not being good at numbers.  He explains that his old friend, Goldie Stanski (played by Sean McCann), usually goes over the books for him.

“Goldie?”  T.S. growls, “You trusted a guy named Goldie!?”

Decker explains that Goldie has been his friend for years.  Goldie was his former coach!  And, indeed, when Mrs. Mowby demands that Decker be kicked out of the Junior Hockey League, Goldie argues that Decker has not been convicted of anything, not that it does Decker much good.  However, Detective Jones (Ken James) informs T.S. that “word on the street” is that Goldie has a gambling addiction.

Decker takes T.S. to his next practice and introduces T.S. to the team.  They ask T.S. if he’s going to join them on the ice.

“No thanks, brothers,” T.S. replies, “I don’t play no sport when you can get frostbitten indoors.  Besides, I think hockey’s an old ladies’ game …. Look at the ton of equipment you guys wear!”

After practice, Decker is arrested for a second time after the detectives, having gotten an anonymous tip, search his locker and just happen to find a bus ticket that leads to a bag full of money.  Fortunately, Amy is able to bail him out of jail again, much to the relief of her spacey administrative assistant, Sophie (Catherine Disher), who has a crush on Decker.

T.S. has decided that Goldie is setting up Decker.  Now, he just has to get Goldie to give himself away.

“I think with a little persuasion,” T.S. tells Amy, “he might do something foolish …. Friendly persuasion, of course!”

T.S.’s style of persuasion is to show up in Goldie’s apartment and tell him that everyone knows what Goldie’s done while drinking a glass of milk.  “Thanks for the milk,” T.S. growls before leaving.  When Goldie responds by going to the gym and pocketing more money from the hockey’s charity fund, Amy, T.S., and Decker are there to chase him out on the ice and catch him.  If you’ve ever wanted to see Mr. T drive a Zamboni, this is the episode for you.

Decker’s name is cleared and he’s re-instated as coach.  Yay!

This was a totally predictable episode but I kind of liked it.  Mr. T on a Zamboni was just a ludicrous enough image to make the entire show work.

Episode 1.10 “The Latest Development”

(Dir by George Mihalka, aired on March 14th, 1988)

“In this episode,” Mr. T tells us, “Amy and I fight City Hall …. and City Hall fights back!”

When a dumb, 13 year-old kid named Nick (Toby Proctor) breaks into a construction site and takes a bulldozer for a joyride, he accidentally destroys a truck.  The owner of the site, Enzo Malec (George Touliatos), is determined to throw the book at Nick because he’s an evil developer and he wants both Nick and his grandmother, Cora (Helen Hughes), out of their home.

It turns out that one of Amy’s former classmates, Brian Brack (Richard Comar), works in the city’s legal department so she heads down to City Hall in an attempt to guilt him into allowing Cora to stay in her home.  For once, we actually get to see Amy doing legal work, which basically amounts to wandering around with a file folder and rolling her eyes while having conversations with other people.

Meanwhile, T.S. takes Nick down to the construction site and convinces Malec to let Nick work off his debt as a construction worker.  T.S. arranges for Cora to move in with gospel-singing Aunt Martha (Jackie Richardson) while Nick moves in with Decker.

Suddenly, building inspectors show up at Amy’s office and start searching for violations.  “Brian Brack is responsible for this, isn’t he!?” Amy says, while the inspectors write her up for not having a window that opens quickly enough.  That’s a $2,000 fine!  Upon discovering that they are now going to war with city hall, T.S. tells Amy, “This could be a title bout!”

Amy confronts Brian at a fancy restaurant and tells him that she has discovered that he has invested in Enzo Malec’s development.  She demands to know who he and Malec paid off at city hall.  Brian tells Amy that she doesn’t know who she is missing with.  Amy responds by tossing a drink on him.  In a case of amazing timing, Alderman Kent (Mark Walker) shows up and asks if Amy is going to be joining him and Brian for lunch.  Hmmm …. I wonder who the corrupt politician could be.

Meanwhile, T.S. and Decker help Nick deal with his anger by training him to box.

“I know how to fight!” Nick says.

“To win, you need a strategy,” T.S. replies.

T.S. proceeds to knock down a 13 year-old.

While T.S. is teaching Nick how to fight, the city is threatening to shut down Aunt Jackie’s foster home!  When T.S. finds out, he puts on his dark jacket and starts to head off to City Hall so he can presumably beat up the mayor.  Instead, Amy convinces him to hold off by revealing that Brian and Alderman Kent have been taking bribes from Enzo Malec.  When T.S. heads down to the construction site, Malec panics and, later that night, he tries to burn a bunch of incriminating files.  However, it turns out that he’s being filmed by Amy and the local news.

And that apparently fixes the whole thing!

This episode felt rushed as it basically only had 30 minutes to deal with an hour’s worth of complications.  It only took one boxing lesson for Nick to let go of his anger and it only took one confrontation with T.S for Enzo Malec to make one sloppy mistake.  That said, I appreciate any episode that portrays municipal government as being thoroughly corrupt and irredeemable.  Fight the system!

Next week: Amy’s car gets stolen!

Retro Television Reviews: South Central 1.3 “RTD” and 1.4 “CO-op”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing South Central, which aired, for 10 episodes, on Fox in 1994.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, Andre is nearly killed while riding the bus and Joan is embarrassed by her new employer.

Episode 1.3 “RTD”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on April 19th, 1994)

It’s Andre’s day to watch Deion but when Joan sees Andre’s report card and discovers that Andre failed one class and came close to failing several others, she orders him to go all the way to Inglewood to see his “mentor,” Ray (played by Ken Page).  Because Joan has to go to work and there’s no one around who can drive Andre all the way across town, she gives Andre permission to ride the bus.  However, she also orders him to sit in front, where it’s safe.  Joan then tells Tasha that she’s going to have to give up her day to look after Deion.  Tasha gets angry, wondering why she’s the one having to give up her freedom when she’s also the one who actually gets good grades and “doesn’t need a mentor to keep (her) from messing up (her) life.”

I have two thoughts about this.

First off, Tasha is absolutely right to be upset.  Why did Joan adopt Deion when she was already financially struggling and she had two children to raise?  The show suggests that Joan adopted Deion because she needed a replacement for Marcus but still, it does seem like the responsibility for looking after Deion falls on Tasha much more often than it does on Andre.  When Tasha says that she feels that she’s punished for being responsible, she has a point.  Obviously, someone has to look after Deion but Joan could, at the very least, acknowledge that the whole situation isn’t easy for Tasha.

Secondly, I have to admit that I’ve always taken the idea of riding the bus for granted.  Of course, it’s not something that I do on a regular basis but, whenever I have been on a bus, I’ve felt safe and the only thing that really worried me was dealing with motion sickness.  One of the things that South Central did so well was it showed how the experiences that I, as someone living in the suburbs, take for granted (like being able to safely ride a bus) are far different for people living in neighborhoods that are dealing with poverty and crime.

Andre and his friend Rashad, for instance, defy Joan and sit in the back of the bus, where they are eventually confronted by two gang members who steal Rashad’s radio.  When Andre tries to stand up to them, one of them pulls a gun on him.  Rashad escapes by jumping out the bus’s back window and probably the only thing that saves Andre’s life is that the gunman’s friend recognizes him as being Marcus’s brother.  In the second episode, a friend of Marcus’s gave Andre money.  In this episode, another one of Marcus’s friends saves Andre’s life.  Marcus may be dead but his name still carries some power and it’s hard not to compare the respect that Marcus commands with Joan having to take a job bagging groceries just to keep her home.

Andre finally does reach Ray’s home and is immediately impressed with Ray’s big house, his big TV, and his stereo equipment.  (He is less impressed with what’s playing on Ray’s radio, asking Ray why he’s listening to “white music.”)  Ray tells Andre that the only way he’ll ever have a decent home is if he improves his grades and goes to college.  Andre, however, is more interested in Nicole (Maia Campbell), who comes from a wealthy family and who works, “after school,” as Ray’s administrative assistant.  When Andre hears that Nicole wants to go to Princeton, Andre decides that he wants to go there too.

Ray is hesitant to give Nicole’s number to Andre, which Andre takes to mean that Ray thinks that Andre isn’t good enough to date a girl from an upper class family.  However, the next day, Ray has a change of heart and invites Andre to come to church with him and Nicole’s family.  An excited Andre agrees but, unfortunately, this means taking the bus once again.  When the guy who previously pulled a gun on him sees Andre on the bus, he not only beats up Andre but also steals his good church shoes.

Andre shows up at Ray’s house, bloody and barefoot.  It’s not the best way for Andre to meet Nicole’s parents.  When Nicole promises that she’ll check on how Andre is doing after church, Nicole’s mother responds, “No, you won’t.”  Ouch!

Ray takes Andre home where Joan announces that Andre is no longer allowed to ride the bus, regardless of how he feels about Nicole.  Andre, having paid Nicole’s cousin five dollars for her number, calls Nicole and promises her that they’ll see each other, regardless of what their parents think.

This was a strong episode.  It can be easy to get annoyed with Andre, who tends to talk a big game but, watching this episode, it’s obvious that he’s perhaps the most naïve character on the show.  The only male role model that he has in his life is Ray and, as this episode makes clear, Ray is well-meaning but doesn’t exactly understand the realities that Andre has to deal with on a day-to-day basis.  I mean, what’s the point of having a mentor if there’s a good chance you’re going to get killed trying to visit him?  Andre refuses to surrender and rides the bus a second time in order to see Nicole and he gets mugged for his trouble.  With the whole world seeming to be against him, who can be surprised that getting good grades isn’t his number one concern?

Episode 1.4 “CO-op”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on May 3rd, 1994)

It’s a big day for all the members of the Mosely family!

Andre manages to get a ride into Inglewood, where he shows up unannounced at Ray’s office and finally gets Nicole to agree to go out on a date with him on Friday.  I have to admit that I cringed a bit at the scene where Andre showed up, if just because I worked as an administrative assistant when I first got out of college and I know how annoying it is to have some jerk show up and try to keep you from getting your filing done.  If the previous episode was about revealing Andre’s hidden depths, this episode was all about his immaturity.  Nicole’s decision to kiss Andre and make a date with him honestly felt more like her rebelling against her parents than actually being attracted to Andre as an individual.

While Andre is getting a date with Nicole, Joan is getting humiliated on television.  When Bobby (Clifton Powell) arranges for the local news to come do a live spot from the Ujamaa Co-op, he introduces Joan as being someone that he (and the Co-op) saved from having to go on welfare by hiring her to bag groceries.  When Joan snaps that Bobby humiliated her, Bobby challenges her to tell him what was inaccurate about anything he said.  Joan points out that, for someone who claims to be all about sacrificing for the community, Bobby certainly has the money to afford “a new dashiki.”  And Joan does have a point.  Bobby is one of the more interesting characters on the show, mixing a sincere desire to improve his community with a healthy ego that prevents him from realizing just how condescending he can be when spreading his message.

Of course, with Andre and Joan both occupied, it falls on Tasha to once again sacrifice her plans so that she can take care of Deion and make sure that he goes to his therapy session.  Deion, who doesn’t converse but does often yell, strikes Tasha at one point and, by the time Tasha arrives at the therapist’s office, she’s sick of dealing with him.  The therapist (CCH Pounder) sends Deion to play in another room and then talks to Tasha.  Tasha finally gets to talk about how unfair it is that, because she’s the responsible one, she’s the one who is always expected to give up her plans.  This really was Tasha Scott’s showcase episode and she did a great job showing how difficult it is to have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.  This episode works because it not only acknowledges Tasha’s anger but it also admits that there isn’t an easy solution.  The therapist doesn’t come up with some perfect turn of the phrase that makes everything better.  Instead, in the end, Tasha takes some comfort in the fact that the now calm Deion briefly reaches out towards her, showing her the first real appreciation that she’s received in the series.

Next week, Tasha and Andre’s father briefly returns to their lives.

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 3.5 “The Scoop/The Audit Couple/My Boyfriend’s Back”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Today, the IRS takes a cruise.  Agck!

Episode 3.5 “The Scoop/The Audit Couple/My Boyfriend’s Back”

(Dir by Jack Arnold, originally aired on October 6th, 1979)

Captain Stubing is being audited!

Damn the IRS!  What a bunch of money-obsessed fascists!

The IRS agent, Viola Penny (Phyllis Diller), has booked a room on the cruise so that she can look through Captain Stubing’s records and….

Wait a minute.  If you’re an IRS agent, you get to go on a luxury cruise and also look through someone’s private information?  That sounds like fun!  Sign me up!

Anyway, Viola originally seems to be tough-minded and determined to toss Capt. Stubing in jail.  But then she gets drunk at dinner and, when she wakes up in the captain’s cabin, she’s convinced that she and Stubing are now lovers.  She decides to go easy on the audit but then she comes across $50,000 hidden in an ice bucket and she becomes convinced that Stubing is cheating the government and that he seduced her to keep her from finding out.  But then she discovers that the money is actually the crew emergency fund and she falls in love with Stubing again….

Yeah, it’s hard to keep track of how Viola feels from scene to scene.  At the end of the episode, she declares her love for the captain and leaves the boat.  Stubing realizes that he forgot to ask her what the results of his audit were but he also orders Gopher not to call her back to the boat.  If there’s a new captain next week, I’ll just assume Stubing’s in USP Marion.

Meanwhile, caddish Jay Cavanaugh (Lyle Waggoner) is really excited when he sees his ex-girlfriend, Patricia Lucas (Jennifer Salt), on the boat.  Jay is determined to get back together with Patricia, despite the fact that Patricia is on her honeymoon with her new husband, Danny (Richard Kline).  Danny is instantly jealous of Jay, who has a perfect smile and a perfect tan.  However, he needn’t be insecure because Patricia is totally in love with him.  Still, Danny keeps walking in on Jay flirting with Patricia and soon, he declares that the marriage is over.

Patricia tricks Jay into stepping up on a stage in the Acapulco Lounge and announcing that he’s in love with Patricia.  Patricia then announces that Jay has no idea what love is and declares, in front of all the crew and passengers, that she’s in love with Danny.  Danny and Patricia’s marriage is saved but seriously, Danny was kind of wimpy about the whole thing.  It seems like Patricia deserved better than both Jay and Danny.

Finally, Simon Scott (Ray Buktenica) is a tabloid reporter who is on the cruise because he’s been assigned to discover who the famous actress, Jackie Landers (Joyce Dewitt), is traveling with.  It turns out that Jackie is not traveling with a romantic partner but instead with her autistic son.  At first, Jackie pretends to be in a relationship with Doc Bricker but eventually, Simon discovers the truth.  However, Simon refuses to write a tabloid-style story about her child so Jackie falls in love with him and hires him to help her write her own non-tabloidy story about her son.

This episode was a mixed bag.  The IRS storyline was frustrating, largely because it featured a lot of complications that could have been prevented by people just not jumping to conclusions.  The newlyweds story felt anticlimactic because there was never any question about who Patricia would choose to be with.  But the storyline with Jackie, Simon, and Jackie’s son was actually pretty sweet.  Ultimately, this was a pleasant but forgettable cruise.

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 3.13 “The Inventor/On The Other Side”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986.  Almost entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube!

This week’s trip to Fantasy Island is sadly forgettable.  Let’s find out why.

Episode 3.13 “The Inventor/On The Other Side”

(Dir by Earl Bellamy, originally aired on December 15th, 1979)

This week, there is no banter between Tattoo and Mr. Roarke before they head off to meet their guests.  In fact, Ricardo Montalban and Herve Villechaize barely look at each other.  It’s a shame because this is actually a pretty dire episode.  It could have used some passive-aggressive Tattoo/Roarke interaction.

The first fantasy features Arte Johnson as Professor Dwayne Clebe and Marcia Wallace as his assistant, Martha Meeks.  Professor Clebe is tying to develop a solution that, when sprayed on metal, will make it impervious to damage.  When he first arrives at Fantasy Island, the solution is called 2X76409, with the 9 signifying the 9 labs that have been blow up by Clebe’s experiments.  By the time he and Martha perfect the solution, it has become the 2X76411.  Fear not, no one is injured when the labs blow up.  Even though Clebe and Martha are both standing in the middle of these explosions, they always just end up with soot on their face.

Anyway, once the formula is perfected, leaders of both industry and the world’s trade unions travel to Fantasy Island to try to destroy it.  The industrialists think that it will drive down prices.  The unionists think that it will put people out of work.  Eventually, the Russians show up because they want the formula for themselves.  It all leads to a big chase and Prof. Clebe realizing that he loves Martha.

The whole fantasy was way too cartoonish and overwritten for its own good and it featured some of the worst acting that I’ve ever seen on Fantasy Island.  Let’s move on!

Unfortunately, the other fantasy really isn’t that great either.  Irma Gideon (Jeanette Nolan) was the wife of a medium.  When he died, he promised that he would contact her from the other side.  He hasn’t done so and Irma’s fantasy is to go to the other side, see her husband, and then return.  Mr. Roarke arranges for a séance but, when he suspects that Irma is planning on just going to the other side and staying there, he cancels the fantasy.  After Irma swears that she won’t stay in “the other side,” Mr. Roarke allows her to enter a death-like trance in a Fantasy Island laboratory.  When Irma goes to the Other Side and is tempted to cross a bridge and stay permanently, her grandson (Keith Gordon) enters into a trance of his own so that he can beg her to come back.

It all sounds like it should be interesting but the execution is lacking, with one scene featuring a painting of Irma’s husband speaking to her being so badly done that it makes it impossible to take the rest of the fantasy seriously.  Jeanette Nolan and Keith Gordon both give marginally better performances that Arte Johnson and Marcia Wallace did in the other fantasy but, in the end, the whole thing just falls flat.

Well, not every trip to Fantasy Island can be a winner.

Retro Television Reviews: Hang Time 6.11 “High School Confidential” and 6.12 “Graduation on Three”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Hang Time, which ran on NBC from 1995 to 2000.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Today, we finally say goodbye to Hang Time!

Episode 6.11 “High School Confidential”

(Dir by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on December 9th, 2000)

With graduation day approaching, the seniors class of Deering High is interviewed by Mary Beth and Kristy.  That’s right, it’s time for a clip show!  Interestingly, all of the clips come from seasons 5 and 6.  You would think that, after going to high school for 6 years, Julie and Mary Beth would have more memories.  No one even mentions Coach Fuller or any of the other basketball players that Julie went out with before meeting Michael.  Even for a clip show, this was a let down.

Episode 6.12 “Graduation on Three”

(Dir by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on December 16th, 2000)

It’s graduation time!  Because she’s the greatest player who has ever lived, the school officially retires Julie Connor’s number.  No one else will ever wear Number 34.  Hopefully, no one else will ever spend six years in high school as well.  Actually, if I remember correctly, Julie transferred to Deering from another school so it’s totally possible that it took Julie seven years to graduate high school.

Considering how long it took the rest of the characters to graduate high school, it’s not surprising that Kristy is the school’s valedictorian.  Kristy is especially concerned about giving a perfect graduation speech because she’s worried that she’ll never see her friends again after graduation.  I could relate to what Kristy was feeling because, when I graduated from high school, I also feared that I would never see my friends again.  Luckily, society now has Facebook so we can check in on all of our old friends from high school and discover that they’ve all become political cranks.

Kristy does eventually find the courage to give her valedictorian speech.  For some reason, Mary Beth hosts the graduation ceremony.  (Did Deering High not have a principal?)  After Coach K gets an award, Kristy gives her speech and breaks down into tears.  It was kind of sad but also pretty sweet.  Again, I could relate to how Kristy was feeling.

All that’s left is for everyone to throw their graduation caps into the air and then share one final group hug in the gym.  Awwww!

And that’s it for Hang Time!

Well, what is left to say about this show, one that I’ve spent a year reviewing?  Hang Time was a messy show, largely because the cast was constantly changing and everyone stayed in high school for way too long.  That said, the good episodes tended to be very good and the bad episodes were, for the most part, inoffensive.  The show probably should have ended when Reggie Theus left but Dick Butkus was a more than adequate replacement and, indeed, Coach K. was arguably the show’s best character during the final two seasons.  Even if the final seasons were a bit weak, Megan Parlen and Amber Barretto were a good comedic team.  The final episode ended with Kristy saying, “I’m going to miss this place,” and you know what?  So am I.

Next week: Retro Television Reviews leaves Indiana for ….. MIAMI!  Are you ready for a little Vice?

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television — 8/27/23 — 9/2/23


Big Brother 25 (24/7, Paramount+ and CBS)

I wrote about Big Brother here!

CHiPs (Weekday Mornings, GET TV)

I watched two episodes of this very 70s cop show on Friday morning.  Both episodes featured car crashes and California living.  I liked the opening, bass-heavy theme music.

Claim to Fame (Monday Night, ABC)

Nick Cannon’s brother, Gabriel, ended up winning the show.  (It’s kind of weird how everyone just shrugged off Nick Cannon making all of those anti-Semitic comments on that podcast.)  This was an amusing reality show, even if all of my favorites were eliminated early on.

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

On Sunday, I watched a two-part episode in which Dr. Phil talked to a mother who had a YouTube channel dedicated to exploiting her autistic child.  The mother was convinced her child was schizophrenic as well as autistic and kept talking over both Dr. Phil and all other medical experts on the show.  She had a very annoying habit of nodding and saying, “Yes, I agree,” whenever anyone would disagree with her.  Seriously, she was the most annoying person that I’ve ever seen on a talk show.  I then watched another episode featuring a middle-aged woman who was into S&M and who had recently invited sex offender to come live with her and her 9 year-old daughter.  Yikes!

On Wednesday morning, I watched an episode in which Dr. Phil talked to a handsome young drug addict who claimed that he had written all of Taylor Swift’s songs.  Then, later that night, I watched an episode about fighting sisters.  To be honest, I’m not sure that Phil really helped any of them.

Geraldo (YouTube)

On Sunday, I watched an episode of this 90s talk show in which Geraldo Rivera talked to New York club kids.  Michael Alig looked like he couldn’t wait to murder someone.

Jane Pratt (YouTube)

This was a talk show from the 90s.  On Tuesday, I watched an episode called “Raves and Ecstasy.”  I immediately recognize the host as one of the victims from The Boogeyman.

Jenny Jones (YouTube)

Jenny Jones talked to people who called off their weddings due to stuff that happened at Bachelor and Bachelorette parties.  Jenny got extremely flustered while talking about the strippers.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

Sally Jessy Raphael (YouTube)

On Thursday morning, I watched an episode featuring “out of control teens” who were sent to boot camp.  The audience loved watching the teens suffers at boot camp but I suspect it probably didn’t do much good as far as the teens were concerned.  Later, during the afternoon, I watched an episode featuring out-of-control teens.  Two terrifying people from the Tough Love Organization, showed up and ordered all of the parents to divorce their children.

South Central (YouTube)

I wrote about South Central here!

Stars on Mars (Monday Night, Fox)

On the finale of Stars on Mars, Adam Rippon emerged as the winner so I guess he is the new Warlord of Mars now.

Steve Wilkos Show (YouTube)

I watched two episodes on Thursday night.  Steve kicked abusers off of his stage.  GO, STEVE!

T. and T.  (Tubi)

I wrote about T. and T. here!

Welcome Back Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back Kotter here!

Retro Television Reviews: Welcome Back Kotter 2.3 “Sweatside Story” and 2.4 “The Fight”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, the Sweathogs get violent!

Episode 2.3 “Sweatside Story”

(Dir by Bill Persky, originally aired on October 7th, 1976)

Gabe tells Julie about his uncle who was a highway patrolman and who once chased a guy who was running 80 miles per hour.  I didn’t really get the joke.

At school, class is interrupted by a fire drill.  While Horshack panics, Epstein tells Barbarino that he’s tired of drills and is thinking of setting the school on fire so that “they can see how it’s done under real pressure.”  While everyone waits in the hallway, Woodman shows up, accuses the Sweathogs of pulling the alarm, and then starts doing unconstitutional locker searches.

“What is this?” Gabe asks, “Be Cruel To Sweathogs Day?”

“Every day is Be Cruel To Sweathogs Day,” Woodman replies.

Woodman discovers that Barbarino has a jacket with “Sweathogs” written on the back of it.  OH MY GOD, THE SWEATHOGS ARE STARTING A GANG!  And they actually are.  (“I haven’t been invited to join,” Horshack says, which should be taken as proof positive that this gang is serious business.)  Gabe warns them that wearing jackets and starting gangs is a good way to get hurt.  On cue, Freddie shows up and says that another gang jumped him for invading their territory.

Later, back at the apartment, Gabe tells Julie that he fears the Sweathogs are going to get into a “rumble.”  Suddenly, Horshack shows up at the apartment, looking like a refugee from a John Waters movie.  Gabe tells Horshack about how violent rumbles can get and asks Horshack if he’s prepared to be hit around like a hockey puck.

“I want to be a punk, not a puck!” Horshack announces.  Uhmm….

Hanging around outside the school, Barbarino, Freddie, and Washington try remember how they were all initiated into their gang and it turns out that none of them were actually initiated.  Barbarino states that, when he started the gang, he spent a week watching Gilligan’s Island to toughen himself up.  Freddie explains that he became a member of the gang through Barbarino’s minority recruitment plan.  Epstein, of course, has a note from Epstein’s Mom.  Suddenly, Horshack shows up, prepared to be initiated into the gang.

Barbarino has no idea how to initiate Horshack but says that he’ll figure out how to do it “once I get my thoughts deranged.”

Suddenly, Gabe and Woodman show up, also wearing black leather jackets and looking to be initiated into the gang.  Gabe explains that he brought Woodman because Woodman has the key to the nurse’s office, which they’ll need after the rumble.

The rival gang then shows up, demanding to know why the Sweathogs are looking for them.  However, when they discover that both a teacher and the school’s vice principal are members of the Sweathog Gang, the rival gang leader announces that this school is too tough for them and they agree to negotiate a peace settlement between the two gangs.

Later, Gabe tells Julie about his Uncle Harry Kotter, who bought a suit that was too big for him.

This episode felt a bit off.  Even by the standards of this show, the humor felt a bit overly broad and the Sweathogs’s naivety about what it meant to be in a gang never seemed credible.  I mean, they essentially were a gang during the first season!  If anything, the Sweathogs felt a bit neutered and too family-friendly in this episode.  They were missing the edge that often elevated the episodes during the first season.  That said, John Sylvester White had some good moments.  It’s hard not to enjoy Mr. Woodman’s total disgust with the world and everyone in it.

Episode 2.4 “The Fight”

(Dir by Bob LaHendro, originally aired on October 21st, 1976)

Gabe tells Julie a joke about how his father always wanted him to date a girl just like his mother, which is something that I’m sure Julie appreciated hearing.

At school, Freddie is upset to learn that 1) Epstein gave Barbarino Freddie’s English homework to do and 2) Barbarino forgot to do it.

“Because of you, I’m going to get an F in English!” Freddie snaps at Barbarino.

“If it makes you feel any better,” Barbarino replies, “so am I.”

An argument breaks out between Freddie, Barbarino, and Epstein but Gabe breaks it up by ordering them into the classroom.  For their Social Studies homework, all of the Sweathogs have been asked to either write about or bring in their most prized possession.  Barbarino shows off his little black book.  Freddie shows off his pet flea, Howard.  (Unfortunately, Howard is killed when Freddie asks Horshack to give him five.)  Epstein has a toy boat.  Horshack starts to talk about how his ancestor, Popeye Horshack, discovered Coney Island and accidentally sits on the boat, destroying it.  While Horshack tries to apologize, he accidentally mentions that he’s been doing Barbarino’s homework for Gabe’s class.

Frustrated, Gabe orders everyone to remain quiet while he steps outside and takes two aspirin.

However, as soon as Gabe leaves, Barbarino taunts Horshack and Epstein for being short and then complains that the entire class is short.  Freddie stands up and says, “Hi there.  I’m tall.”  Epstein climbs a on top of Gabe’s desk and says that, “I’ve had it with Hi There!”  Freddie replies that he’s sick of Horshack’s laugh.  Horshack says that he’s tired of Epstein’s phony notes.  Epstein then makes fun of Barbarino for being stupid.

“In your pants with a bag of ants!” Barbarino declares.

“In your pockets with red hot rockets,” Freddie counters.

Gabe re-enters the classroom and tells everyone to stop yelling.  Gabe need not worry because the Sweathogs announce that they are never going to speak to each other again.

Later, at the apartment, Gabe struggles to eat Julie’s famous tuna casserole.  “You think I like spending my entire life listening to your stupid jokes!?” Julie demands.  Gabe replies that he has to tell jokes to cheer himself up after eating Julie’s food.

Suddenly, Barbarino shows up, panicking about how he’s going to get the Sweathogs to follow his orders if they won’t talk to him.  Gabe says that he has to be a big enough person to say that he’s sorry and then Gabe apologizes to Julie.  Gabe and Julie then attempt to have an honest conversation about their argument while Barbarino continually asks them what they have to eat at the apartment.  Gabe suggests that Julie just not make tuna casserole anymore.  Julie throws food at Gabe.  Gabe throws food at Julie.  Barbarino asks if they have any espresso and gets even more food tossed at him.

The next day, at school, Gabe asks Woodman to come into his class, apologize for something, and allow Gabe to forgive him so that the Sweathogs can learn an important lesson.

“I don’t do requests, Kotter,” Woodman replies, “Do I look like Wolfman Jack? …. I don’t have anything to apologize for.”

Gabe then suggests that Woodman could enter the class and Gabe could be the one who apologizes.  That sounds good to Woodman.  However, once they enter the classroom, Gabe apologizes for a prank he pulled ten years earlier and Woodman refuses to accept the apology.  As Woodman leaves, Horshack asks Gabe to keep it down because “There are people trying to be angry in here.”

Barbarino, realizing that he’s responsible for fixing this problem, orders Horshack to apologize to Epstein.  After Gabe tells them that their friendship should be their most prized possession, Epstein forgives Horshack.  Barbarino apologizes for not doing Freddie’s homework and soon, everyone is hugging.  Awwwww!

Later, at the apartment, Gabe is all alone because Julie is at her friend Candy’s place.  Gabe calls Candy and asks to speak Julie.  When Julie comes to the phone, Gabe says, “Julie, did I ever tell you about my Aunt Edna?”  Julie hangs up on him.

This episode was a definite improvement on the previous one, with the emphasis being on the chemistry between the Sweathogs and their own hostile but ultimately affectionate interactions.  If the Sweathogs seemed neutered when they tried to start a gang, they regained their edge just one episode later.  So far, the best episodes of Welcome Back Kotter have been the ones where each member of the group gets a chance to shine and that’s certainly the case with this episode.

By the way, speaking as someone who can be a bit sensitive about her own cooking skills, I think Gabe is totally right about the tuna casserole.  Seriously, there’s comes a time when you just have to admit that you’re never going to master the casserole.

Retro Television Reviews: T and T 1.7 “The Silver Angel” and 1.8 “And Baby Makes Nine”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990.  The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, we meet T.S. Turner’s family!

Episode 1.7 “The Silver Angel”

(Dir by Donald Shebib, originally aired on February 22nd, 1988)

“In this episode,” Mr. T informs us, “Amy and I get mixed up with a modern day Robin Hood and we are forced to recruit some heavyweight help.”

The Silver Angel is a silver-clad trumpet player who has been going to a high-priced grocery store, filling his cart with food, and then running off with the cart and not paying.  The police that think that they have finally arrested him.  However, the man that they caught is Duffy (Edward Atienza), an elderly crossing guard who doesn’t even seem to know what’s happening to him.  Amy is assigned to his case.

T.S., however, has other things to worry about.  As he explains to gym owner Decker, his nephew is a member of a rap group known as The Fat Boys and, as you might guess from their name, they’re a bit overweight.  Their manager wants The Fat Boys to lose a few pounds before their next tour and who better to oversee their diet than T.S. and his friend Decker?  The Fat Boys show up at the gym and it’s time for an exercise montage!

Anyway, it soon becomes apparent that Duffy is not as senile and frail as he appears to be and he actually is the Silver Angel.  Amy discovers that Duffy has been taking the stolen food to a homeless shelter.

“It’s still a crime,” T.S. says.

“I know.  It looks like I’m going to lose this case!” Amy declares, as if she’s the first attorney to ever defend someone who was guilty.  One would think that Amy would understand that the job of a defense attorney is to serve as an advocate for their client and to help them make their way through the legal system.  The question of whether or not the guy is actually guilty really isn’t the issue that she should be concerning herself with.

The Fat Boys, overhearing Amy and T.S.’s conversation, decide that they need to help the Silver Angel.  “My mind is clear,” one of the Fat Boys says, “so you stay right here!”  Did I mention that the Fat Boys rap all of their dialogue?  “I went downtown to get this stuff,” another Fat Boy declares as they collect food to give to the homeless, “Come on, brothers, it’s up to us!”

Anyway, Duffy puts on his angel costume once again and shows up at the grocery store.  When the store’s manager, Mr. Hanlon (Sam Moses), orders security to catch the Angel, the Fat Boys suddenly show up in angel costumes and it leads to a chase scene throughout the store.

T.S. brings the chase to a close by grabbing Mr. Hanlon, lifting him up and carrying him around the store.  T.S. tossed Mr. Hanlon into a display of eggs and declares, “Sorry, brother!  Nobody touches an angel!”

How about a thief?  Are they allowed to touch a thief?

Anyway, for some reason, Hanlon drops the charges so I guess Duffy gets away with his crimes and Amy maintains her perfect acquittal record.

This was dumb.  Grocery store owners don’t owe you a thing and, by stealing all of that food, the only thing Duffy did was probably cost everyone their Christmas bonus.  I mean, is there a reason why he couldn’t buy food and then take it to the homeless shelter?  Some hero.  More like the Silver Jackass, am I right?  Let’s move on.

Episode 1.8 “And Baby Makes Nine”

(Dir by Harvey Frost, originally aired on February 29th, 1988)

“In this episode,” Mr. T tells us, “Amy and I find that more than just diapers are dirty when we track down the person responsible for an abandoned baby.”

One of Amy’s clients leaves a baby on the front doorstep on the office, along with a note that says she’ll be back in a few days.  As opposed to calling the police or child protective services, Amy gives the baby to T.S. to look after.  T.S. takes the baby to the hospital and, after discovering the baby is in perfect health, he takes the baby to Decker’s gym.  Amy is not happy when she sees T.S.’s car parked outside the gym.  A gym is no place for a child, she declares, not with all the sweaty men around.

“The baby has to learn how to sweat,” Decker replies, “He can’t pant like a dog for all of his life!”

Back at the office, Amy explains that parenting is a little bit more complicated nowadays than it was when T.S. was a child.

“Babies still need to be changed, don’t they?” T.S. replies, “Wow!  Look at the great job I did on his diaper!”

Anyway, the baby is actually the son of Henry (Martin Neufeld) and Betty (Joanne Vannicola).  Henry made a deal with a corrupt adoption attorney named Mr. Finn (David Calderisi) to sell his son.  Not wanting to lose her child, Betty dropped the child off at the law office in the hopes that Amy would know how to stop the adoption.  When Henry goes down to the gym to try to grab his son, he is instead grabbed by T.S. Turner.  When Turner threatens to sell Henry, Henry asks what he’s talking about.

“We’re talking about baby selling, Henry!” Turner replies, “We’re talking about what type of man would sell his own flesh and blood!  What do you think we should do to a father who would sell his own son?”

Turner scares Henry straight and he promises not to sell the baby.  Betty forgives him, which is kind of weird.

“It’s people like you,” Amy later hisses at Finn, “who give my profession a bad name.”

And that’s the end of that.  This was yet another episode that would have worked better if the story played out of an hour instead of just 30 minutes.  As it is, the whole thing felt rather rushed.  That said, at least Betty was a more sympathetic client than the Silver Angel jackass.

Next week: T. and T. reminds us that it’s a Canadian show with an episode that is all about hockey!

Retro Television Reviews: South Central 1.1 “Pilot” and 1.2 “Money”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing South Central, which aired, for 10 episodes, on Fox in 1994.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Having just spent a year reviewing City Guys, it only seems appropriate to devote a month to looking at South Central.  Both City Guys and South Central were sitcoms about growing up in an urban community and being forced to deal with grown-up issues at a very young age.  However, in many ways, South Central was the anti-City Guys.  Whereas City Guys always ended with an easy solution and some words of wisdom from Ms. Noble, South Central was a frequently bleak show and one in which there were never any easy solutions.  Perhaps not surprisingly, as opposed to the five seasons that City Guys received, South Central ran for only 10 episodes.

South Central revolves around one black family living in South Central Los Angeles.  Joan Moseley (Tina Lifford) is a divorced mother, working hard to support her family and ending almost every day in a state of exhaustion.  Andre (Larenz Tate) is Joan’s son, an underachieving high schooler who is continually at risk of flunking out of school and whose attempts to act hard cannot hide the fact that he’s essentially a sensitive soul.  Tasha (Tasha Scott) is Joan’s daughter, who is intelligent but resents all of the responsibilities that have been put upon her.  Deion Carter (Keith Mbulo) is Joan’s foster child, an autistic three year-old who was abandoned and who Joan brought into the house.  Looming large over the family is the memory of Marcus, Joan’s oldest son, who was murdered shortly before the series begins.

Episode 1.1 “Pilot”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on April 5th, 1994)

The pilot of South Central opens with a chaotic morning.  Deion wakes up Joan by screaming.  Tasha begs Joan for the money to buy a new jacket.  In a scene that reminds us that, while South Central dealt with timeless issues, the show was definitely made in the 90s, Andre wants to get a beeper.  Joan says that there is no way that her son is going to have a beeper and become a target of every gangbanger in the neighborhood.  Joan says that only drug dealers carry beepers and she’s not willing to lose Andre the way that she lost Marcus.

What the family doesn’t know is that Joan is even more stressed than usual because she has lost her job.  After working for the school district for 13 years, she has been laid off and she has not been able to find another job.  (One potential employer is interested until he learns that she never graduated college because she dropped out after her husband left her.)  When Joan goes to Ujamaa, the local black-owned co-op, she discovers that she’s been put on a list on people from whom checks can no longer be accepted.  She gets into an argument with Lucille, the cashier.  If Lucille looks familiar, that’s because she’s played by a young Jennifer Lopez.

Returning home, Joan discovers a message on her answering machine (another reminder that this pilot is from the 90s) from someone who works at a beeper store and who is checking to make sure that Andre gave his correct address.  Andre comes home and refuses to surrender his beeper, accusing his mother of treating him like a child.  Ray McHenry (Ken Page), a doctor who is obviously in love with Joan and who volunteers to mentor teenagers like Andre, comes by and reveals that, as a doctor, he carries a beeper of his own.  A frustrated Joan accidentally calls Andre “Marcus.”  Shaken, Joan announces that she doesn’t care what happens to her ungrateful, irresponsible children and then goes next door where she talks to her friend, Sweets (Paula Kelly).  At first, Joan is upset when Sweets says that Joan is acting just as irrationally as her children but then Joan breaks down into tears, saying that she wishes that “it could all just stop.”  Joan returns home, tells Tasha that she put her coat on layaway and makes peace with Andre.  Bobby (Clifton Powell), the head of Ujamaa, calls the house and leaves a message that he thinks he can help Joan with her problem.

“What problem?” Tasha asks.

“We’ll talk about it tomorrow,” Joan says as the episode comes to a close.

As far as pilots go, the first episode of South Central did exactly what it needed to do.  It introduced the characters, it told us enough about them to make them individuals while still leaving them room to grow and develop over the next few episodes, and it established everyone’s relationships.  That said, the pilot’s dialogue was a bit more jokey and the laugh track was a bit more intrusive than they would be in later episodes, as if the show’s producers really wanted to make sure that everyone understood that, despite all of the serious stuff being discussed, South Central was a comedy.

Episode 1.2 “Money”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on April 12th, 1994)

“Money” picks up the morning after the pilot.  Joan tells Tasha and Andre that she has lost her job and has been unemployed for a month.  Tasha asks if they’re going to have to go on welfare.  “No!” both Joan and Andre snap at the same time.  Andre announces that he’ll steal money from someone before he goes on welfare.  Joan reprimands him and then heads down to Ujamaa in order to see what help Bobby was going to offer when he called the previous night.

Joan is expecting Bobby to offer her a line of credit but instead Bobby offers her a job.  Bobby explains that he needs an assistant manager, who will do bookkeeping, community relations, and “bag groceries.”  Joan is not happy to hear that, after all her years of experience, she’s being offered a job bagging groceries.  She’s even less happy when Bobby tells her that the job only pays $350 a week.

“Embrace the Ujamaa spirit, sister,” Bobby tells her.

“Then I’m going to need more money, brother,” Joan replies.

Considering the fact that her family is struggling and Andre’s friend Rashad (Lamont Bentley) keeps coming by the house and eating all of their food, one might be tempted to think that Joan needs to set her pride aside for a moment.  I certainly thought that the first time that I watched this episode.  My mom worked a lot of jobs that she hated but she did it because she had a family to support.  But, upon rewatching this episode, I found myself sympathizing with Joan.  Joan was an administrator, someone who everyone agrees did a good job for 13 years.  Now, she’s nearly broke and Bobby is offering her a position as a glorified cashier and he’s offering to pay her considerably less than she made before.  Bobby’s offer not only comes across as being charity but Bobby’s reaction, when he hears that Joan wants more money, is to smugly tell her to suffer for the good of the community.  The sensible thing would be for Joan to set aside her pride but, at this point, pride is about the only thing that Joan has left.

However, when Joan returns home, she discovers that Andre is mysteriously $500 richer.  Andre tells Joan not to worry about where the money came from but Joan says that there’s no way that Andre got the money legally and that she won’t have it in the house.  She attempts to flush the money down the toilet.  Andre rescues the money and then admits that he got the money from Spoon, a gang member who was close to Marcus.

Joan drags Andre down to Spoon’s apartment building, where she discovers that, while the building may be covered in graffiti, Spoon’s apartment is full of expensive electronic equipment and furniture.  Spoon lives with his mother, who explains that her son takes care of her.  When Spoon comes out of his bedroom and says, “Marcus was my boy,” Joan snaps, “No, he was my boy!” and throws the money back in Spoon’s face.  After telling Spoon’s mother that she should be ashamed of herself, Joan goes down to Ujamaa and accepts Bobby’s job offer.

More so than the pilot, this episode is a good representation of the show that South Central would become.  None of the characters are idealized.  Both Joan and Andre are stubborn.  Tasha is too quick to get upset.  Bobby can be condescending.  But they’re all trying their best to make it through hard times without selling out their beliefs.  The scene with Spoon and his mother was a bit heavy-handed but, at the same time, it also allowed Joan to make clear that she would rather be poor than make money off of the suffering of others in her community.  It also revealed that the reason why she is so protective and strict with her children is because she feels that she failed Marcus.  In the end, Joan shows that she’ll do what she has to do to feed her children, even if that means bagging groceries.

Next week: A bus ride leads to Andre not only getting mugged but also falling in love.

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 3.4 “Going My Way/Dance with Me/Doc, Be Patient”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week’s cruise is all about love and dancing!

Episode 3.4 “Going My Way/Dance with Me/Doc, Be Patient”

(Dir by Adam Rafkin and James Sheldon, originally aired on September 29th, 1979)

Oh no!  The ship has just left port and Doc Bricker has come down with the flu!  He’s so sick that he can barely walk without getting dizzy.  Fortunately, there’s another doctor on the boat.  Dr. Emily Bradford (Susan Sullivan) takes time away from her own vacation to not only look after Doc but also check in on his other patients.  I have to admit that I found myself wondering if the cruise line agreed to pay her for filling in for Doc or if she just did it for free.  It seems like, if she misdiagnosed anyone on the boat, it would lead to an even bigger lawsuit than usual.

It turns out that Doc is not a particularly good patient.  He hates having his temperature taken.  He hates getting shots.  He even resists allowing Emily to take a look at his throat.  But when he ends up sick and delirious, he’s thankful that Emily’s there.  In fact, he’s so thankful that he decides that he’s in love with Emily and he wants her to spend all of her time with him!  Emily reveals to Doc that he’s doing what so many past patients have done to him, falling in love with the person who takes care of them.  A chagrined Doc says that he’s going to have to write a lot of apologies to his former patients.

Probably one of the stranger aspects of The Love Boat has always been the portrayal of Doc Bricker as some sort of decadent swinger.  Bernie Kopell was very likable in the role of Adam Bricker but there was also absolutely nothing about him that would make one think that he was some sort of fun-loving satyr.  While the show insisted that Doc was a legendary womanizer, he actually came across as being a mild-mannered, slightly out-of-touch but well-meaning suburbanite who just happened to work on a cruise ship.  In this episode, Doc actually got to show some vulnerability and it was nice to see.  Certainly, Bernie Kopell seemed to be more comfortable playing Doc as someone who hated needles as opposed to as a doctor who casually kept adult magazines in his waiting room.

While Doc came down with the flu, Suzy Butterfield (Arlene Golonka) is determined to still take her cruise despite having been stood up by her boyfriend.  Because she has an extra ticket and because she enjoyed the jokes that he told while driving her to the docks, Suzy impulsively invites her cab driver, Mickey Greenbaum (Buddy Hackett) to join her on the cruise.  Mickey, an aspiring writer, agrees and I assume he also loses his job as a taxi driver as a result.

On the boat, Suzy recommends women that Mickey could date and Mickey recommend men that Suzy could date but, of course, they’re destined to end up together.  And, of course, they do.  Mickey even proposes marriage.  Yay!  This was a sweet story, even if Buddy Hackett wasn’t the most convincing romantic lead.  He was ten years older than Arlene Golonka and they had an older brother/little sister chemistry that didn’t exactly translate to romance.  But no matter.  I was still glad that things worked out for their characters.

Finally, world famous ballet dancer William Delaney (John Meehan) boards that boat with his much younger partner, Joanna (Starr Danias).  Also on the cruise is William’s former partner, Marcy McGuire (Carol Lawrence).  Marcy now runs a dance academy in Germany and she wants William to teach at the school.  William realizes that he’s getting older and that he’s actually holding Joanna back by not retiring.  William accepts Marcy’s offer, which Joanna’s misinterprets are William and Marcy having an affair.  Fortunately, Captain Stubing is there to help gently explain the whole situation.  Both John Meehan and Starr Danias were real-life dancers (To be honest, they were far better at dancing than delivering dialogue.) and the story is really just an excuse for the two of them to perform, together and separately.  Starr Danias’s solo performance of Swan Lake was absolutely wonderful and, for me, the highlight of the cruise.

I enjoyed this episode.  The passengers were likable, Doc Bricker finally stopped acting like a walking HR nightmare, and best of all …. there was dancing!  This was a very enjoyable cruise.