Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 1.18 “Cry Wolf”

Posted on March 18, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, someone is calling in false emergencies and neither Baker nor Ponch are going to let him get away with it!

Episode 1.18 “Cry Wolf”

(Dir by John Florea, originally aired on February 16th, 1978)

A creepy weirdo named Walt (Brad David) is angry at the world. He hasn’t been able to get a job since he got out of prison and his sister is always giving him a hard time. Walt deals with his anger by driving up to police call boxes and phoning in reports of imaginary accidents. For every call, the fire department and the highway patrol waste precious recourses responding. Getraer wants the caller caught and he’s placed Jon in charge of the task force to take him down.

This is one of those episodes where the emphasis is on how all the various departments work together to keep people safe. Whenever Walt places a call, we’re presented with a montage of cops and firemen racing to be the first one to arrive at the “accident.” Though the show makes clear that Walt is not thinking straight and that he’s not in a good place mentally, the emphasis is still on how many resources are wasted on his calls.

It gets so bad that Jon and Ponch start to assume that every call is a prank. When someone calls in to say that a helicopter has crashed on the highway, Jon is shocked to discover that a helicopter actually has crashed. He and Ponch rush the plane’s cargo — rare blood for an operation — to a local hospital and are scolded for showing up late. That’s the danger of crying wolf. When Walt is finally caught by Baker and Ponch, he attempts to jump off a bridge. Baker and Ponch stop him, of course. As they pull him back to safety, Baker says that Walt is lucky they weren’t busy answering a false call.

This was a good episode for Baker, as he also got a subplot in which a minor motorcycle crash led to him meeting and dating an X-ray technician named Karen Rayburn (Kathryn Holcomb). Baker and Karen were a cute couple and there was something undeniably charming about how nervous Baker got whenever he had to flirt. Larry Wilcox was not the most expressive actor but his stiff demeanor was put to good use in this episode.

This was not a bad episode. Since the majority of the episode focused on one storyline, this episode felt more cohesive than some of the ones that came before it. As usual, the main highlight was watching Baker and Ponch weave their way in and out of traffic. The scenery was lovely and there was even an exploding helicopter! You can’t go wrong with that.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.6 “Buddies”

Posted on March 18, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Crockett discovers that one of his oldest friends has a secret.

Episode 2.6 “Buddies”

(Dir by Henry Mastrogeorge, originally aired on November 1st, 1985)

When sleazy stand-up comedian Morty Price (a youngish Nathan Lane) attempts to sexually assault a cocktail waitress named Dorothy (Eszter Balint), he ends up getting fatally stabbed with a steak knife. Dorothy flees from the crime scene, taking her baby and grabbing a bunch of random papers that, unknown to her, prove that Morty Price was placing illegal bets with mobster Frank Doss (Frankie Valli). This information could keep Doss from being able to get a casino license in Florida.

Because Doss and his partner, Johnny Cannata (Tom Signorelli), are mob-connected, Castillo and Vice take over the investigation of Price’s murder. Sonny and Tubbs learn, from an informant (Karla Tamburrelli), that Price took Dorothy up to his room before he was murdered. While Crockett and Tubbs search for Dorothy to find out what happened with Price, Doss and Cannata send their men to track down Dorothy and keep the papers from reaching the police.

During the investigation, Sonny is stunned to come across security footage of one of his oldest friends, Robbie Cann (James Remar), meeting with Doss and Cannata. Robbie not only served in Vietnam with Sonny but he has also recently asked Sonny to be his son’s godfather. Robbie has just opened up a club and, as he explains to Sonny, he finally feels like he’s something more than just a loser. When Sonny confronts Robbie about meeting with the gangsters, Robbie admits that he borrowed money from them to start the club but he insists that he doesn’t have any other type of relationship with them. However, when Sonny attends the christening of Robbie’s son, he discovers that Robbie’s name is actually Robert Cannata. He is Johnny Cannata’s son! Robbie insists that he has nothing to do with his father’s business but Sonny is forced to ask just how much he can trust one of his closest friends.

This episode is a bit of a mess. On the plus side, fans of character actors will enjoy this episode. James Remar’s nervy performance keeps you guessing and it’s undeniably interesting to see Nathan Lane playing someone that sleazy. Frankie Valli and Tom Signorelli make for convincing gangsters. It’s also the first episode of the series to really feature Sonny talking about what it was like to serve in Vietnam and it deserves some credit for attempting to explore the difficulty that many veterans face when trying to adjust back to civilian life. Robbie has not had an easy life after returning to the U.S. but now, he finally has a wife, a child, and a business. Sonny may feel betrayed by Robbie but he’s also aware that his investigation is going to potentially ruin Robbie’s life.

On the other hand, the episode attempts to take on so much that it stretches itself a bit then. It requires a real suspension of disbelief to accept that Sonny would just happen to be assigned to an investigation that would involve his best friend. I mean, what are the chances? The episode also can’t seem to decide if it wants to focus on Robbie or if it wants to focus on Dorothy and her child. As a result, neither story really feels as if it gets all of the attention that it deserves.

Next week, the Vice Squad investigates jazz legend Miles Davis!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi Junior High 2.9 “Dog Days”

Posted on March 17, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi Junior High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1987 to 1989! The series can be streamed on YouTube!

This week, we check back in with Stephanie and Arthur.

Episode 2.9 “Dog Days”

(Dir by Kit Hood, originally aired on February 29th, 1988)

Stephanie is feeling depressed. She no longer cares about keeping up her grades. She no longer changes clothes or puts on makeup when she arrives at school. She wants nothing to do with her former best friends, the Farrell Twins. She’s no longer interested in being school president or even trying to capture Simon’s attention.

When her friends, her teachers, and her mother ask her why she’s so depressed, Stephanie refuses to tell them. “Maybe I’ll just kill myself,” she says at one point and while the Farrell Twins assume that she’s just being overdramatic, the viewer knows that Stephanie has been skipping school so that she can gaze up at a bridge and fantasize about jumping off.

(The bridge that appears in this episode was an actual bridge in Toronto that was nicknamed “Suicide Bridge,” because so many people did jump from it. So, Canadian viewers would have immediately understood the horrible significance of Stephanie standing in front of that particular bridge and staring up at it.)

Meanwhile, Stephanie’s mother wants Arthur to come over for dinner. Arthur is curious about the dinner but he’s also very concerned about what he’s going to do with Phil, an adorable puppy that has started following him around. Arthur tries to take the dog to school with him, hiding him first in his book bag and secondly in the school’s boiler room. Both times, the dog is discovered and Arthur eventually ends up with detention. Myself, I’m not a dog person but I thought the puppy was adorable and he definitely should have been enrolled in the school.

At dinner, Stephanie and Arthur’s mom announces that she’s getting married to Jerry, her latest boyfriend. Stephanie throws a tantrum and Arthur grabs Phil and leaves the house. Stephanie follows after him and finds him in the park. They have a conversation about how awkward their parents’ divorce has made their lives while sitting in the swings and Stephanie cheers up a little, realizing that Arthur will always be there for her.

During the first season of Degrassi Junior High, nearly every episode focused on Stephanie and Arthur. Up until this episode, they spent most of the second season in the background, overshadowed by the drama surrounding Spike’s pregnancy and Joey’s dreams of rock stardom. For me, as someone who likes to keep up with what’s going on with people, it was kind of nice to see the two of them finally get another spotlight episode. This episode hit close to home for me, as I struggled with depression when I was in high school and I also used to make life Hell for anyone who thought he could be my stepfather. I related to Stephanie in this episode and Nicole Stoffman did a great job of capturing the feeling of oppressive ennui that had afflicted her. Duncan Waugh also gave a good performance as Arthur, with this episode showing how much he had matured since the first season while also acknowledging that Arthur is still basically a very naive kid. I just hope he was allowed to keep the dog.

In typical Degrassi Junior High fashion, this episode ends without any clear or definite resolution. Stephanie is doing a little better but she’s still depressed and she’s still angry about her mom marrying Jerry. That was one of the great things about Degrassi. Whereas other shows always tried to wrap everything up in 30 minutes or an hour, Degrassi had the courage to admit that things were not always that easy or simple.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Check It Out! 1.20 “Edna’s New Friend”

Posted on March 16, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Edna and Leslie discover they have a lot in common!

Episode 1.20 “Edna’s New Friend”

(Dir by Alan Erlich, originally aired on February 26th, 1986)

Brace yourself. We are once again about to explore Howard and Edna’s relationship.

Check It Out!, at least during its first season, was never particularly consistent when it came to the details of Howard and Edna’s relationship. Sometimes, Howard was the most romantic man on the planet and then, other times, he was an insensitive jerk who was incapable of understanding why Edna wouldn’t want to spend all of her time watching television at his apartment. Sometimes, Edna was down-to-Earth and realistic and, other times, she was flighty and seemingly living in a world of her own. In this episode, we’re back to Howard being a jerk and Edna wanting to experience life outside of going to work and then over to Howard’s apartment.

Edna has tickets to the ballet. As she explains, they cost her a lot of money and she’s superexcited about having managed to get them. However, Howard doesn’t care about the ballet (“I don’t like Russian ballerinas,” he explains) and he’s already made plans to watch television that night. Edna asks Jennifer if she wants to go but Jennifer has an appointment at a tanning salon. Marlene has a date and is planning on taking him to a “slam dance, so if I don’t like him, at least I’ll get to hurt him.” Finally, Edna asks Leslie, who once lived in Paris and who is a ballet fanatic!

Leslie is also a guy but he’s gay so Howard isn’t concerned about him going out with Edna. Or, at least, Howard isn’t worried until Christian suggests that Edna might try to “convert” Leslie because “women love a challenge.” Howard starts to panic….

Of course, what Howard should be panicking about is the super cheap beef that Christian has been buying and re-selling in the store. It’s not beef, at all. It’s horse meat! When the truth comes out, the customers form an angry mob. Marlene even joins them because “it was either be destroyed or become their leader.”

The character of Leslie has been one of the more interesting parts of the first season of Check It Out! Today, of course, it doesn’t seem like a big deal for a show to feature a regular character who is gay. But, by the standards of most 1980s sitcoms that I’ve seen, Check It Out! was often downright progressive in its portrayal of Leslie as being an openly gay, angst-free, and happy man who was a friend to and respected by all of his co-workers, even the stupid ones. And while this episode does feature some humor centered around Leslie’s sexuality, the target of the joke is always Howard’s insecurity and Christian’s ignorance. Again, this might not sound like much but you have to keep in mind that this is a nearly 40 year-old show. When Check it Out! aired, most gay characters were either over-the-top caricatures that audiences were invited to laugh at or special guest stars who only existed to teach a lesson to the show’s regulars and who certainly didn’t return for a second appearance. As corny and old-fashioned as Check it Out! could be, it was ahead-of-its-time when it came to Leslie.

As for the episode itself, it’s okay. This is one of those episodes that leaves you wondering why Edna puts up with Howard but the stuff with the horsemeat was funny. Marlene deciding to join the angry mob made me laugh. Marlene is a force of chaos! That’s something that this uneven but often funny show really needed.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 3/10/24 — 3/16/24

Posted on March 16, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

On Sunday, I discovered that there are hundreds of episodes of Blind Date on YouTube. Blind Date was an early reality show, where two strangers would be set up on a blind date and the cameras would follow them as they searched for a deeper connection. The show was distinguished by its snarky attitude, which was usually represented by thought balloons that would show what the two people were “really” thinking. While plenty of episodes featured likable people who went on good dates, the disastrous dates were always a lot more fun to watch.

And I’ve watched a lot of them this week. Whenever I’ve been bored or I’ve found myself struggling to focus, I’ve pulled up an episode of Blind Date and …. well, I’d be lying if I said the show was making me more productive. If anything, I’ve probably wasted a lot of time on it. But still, it makes me smile when I need to smile.

On Sunday, I also watched The Oscars. I wrote about the show here. For the most part, it was an entertaining show and I’m glad Christopher Nolan finally won his Oscar. I’ve been thinking a lot about Jonathan Glazer’s acceptance speech, of which I was not a fan. Zone of Interest is an important film and Glazer’s speech can’t change that. Still, I’m having to do now what I always tell me friends they should do whenever they discover one of their favorite directors or actors isn’t as much of a leftist as they are. I always tell them to stop whining and just separate the work from the artist. And now I’m discovering that is easier said than done. I may owe some of my friends an apology.

On Tuesday, I watched a 90s talk show called Rolanda. Rolanda interviewed gang members who wanted to come out of the closet.

On Wednesday, I was excited to watch both Survivor and The Amazing Race! Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to full concentrate on either show because I got a call halfway through Survivor but I plan on rewatching both episodes tomorrow. Survivor, I have to admit, hasn’t really worked for me lately. Ever since it came back from the Pandemic hiatus, Survivor has felt like a shadow of its past self. But I continue to unreservedly love The Amazing Race.

On Friday, I watched episodes of Vanishing Shadow and Night Flight on Night Flight Plus. The Night Flight episode featured film directors who made music videos. I’ve noticed that every episode of Night Flight finds an excuse to show Brian DePalma’s video for Relax and this episode was no different.

On Saturday morning, I watched the first episode of an old anime called Bubblegum Crash. I have no idea what was going on for most of it but a lot of stuff did blow up.

Also Watched And Reviewed Elsewhere:

Baywatch Nights

Check It Out! — Review upcoming

CHiPs

Fantasy Island

Friday the 13th: The Series

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 3.13 “Swine and Punishment”

Posted on March 16, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC from 1975 to 1979. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, in a special Thanksgiving episode, Freddie is accused of cheating.

Episode 3.13 “Swine and Punishment”

(Dir by Bob Claver, originally aired on November 24th, 1977)

At the new apartment, Gabe tells Julie about the time his Uncle Thomas came across a man who had his ear to the ground. Uncle Thomas listened to the ground and heard nothing. The man agreed and said that it had been that way for hours. It was a bit of an odd joke but Julie laughed.

Meanwhile, at the school, Mr. Woodman interrupts Gabe’s class to announce that Freddie “Boom Boom” Washington passed his English test. He got a 94!

YAY!

Mr. Woodman says that there’s no way that Freddie could have passed the test without cheating.

Boo! Hiss! Hiss!

Seriously, Mr. Woodman’s usually a great character and John Sylvester White’s unhinged performance is one of the few consistently funny things about this show (especially in the later seasons) but Woodman is the worst in this episode. One of the Sweathogs finally does well in a class that isn’t taught by Mr. Kotter and Woodman accuses him of cheating. No wonder the Sweathogs don’t have any self-esteem.

Woodman says that Freddie can prove his innocence by taking and passing a make-up exam. Freddie refuses and Gabe supports him. But when the other Sweathogs talk about how proud they are of Freddie, Freddie relents and agrees to take the makeup test.

That night, Freddie shows up at the Kotter apartment. After thanking Gabe for supporting him, Freddie reveals that he did cheat on the first test. He cheated because he knew the material (apparently, Freddie is a huge fan of Alexandre Dumas and The Three Musketeers) and he couldn’t stand the idea of getting a bad grade on material that he knew. Freddie’s self-esteem is so low that he’s convinced that he can’t pass a test without cheating.

Awwwwww! Poor Freddie!

With Gabe’s encouragement, Freddie takes the makeup exam without cheating. (The other Sweathogs attempt to write the answers on a gyro sandwich but Horshack screws it up by putting mustard on the sandwich and …. well, look, it was all really dumb, okay?) Freddie again passes the exam, this time getting an 84.

Yay!

But Gabe tells Freddie that he still needs to tell the truth about cheating on the first exam….

WHAT!? Gabe — what are you thinking!?

Freddie agrees that Gabe is right and I can only assume that he got kicked out of school as a result. Sorry, Freddie, it was nice knowing you.

Back at the Kotter apartment, Julie refuses to listen to Gabe talk about his Uncle Robert so Gabe talks to the Thanksgiving turkey instead.

This episode felt very familiar to me and eventually, I realized that it was basically just a remake of the season two episode where Freddie was accused of stealing from the Sweathog emergency fund. Of course, during the earlier seasons, there’s no way Gabe would have pressured Freddie to confess. By the time the third season rolled around, the Sweathogs and Gabe had lost a bit of their edge and were now more concerned with being good role models.

That said, this episode deserves some credit for giving Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs a showcase. Of all the Sweathogs, Freddie was often the one who was regulated to just standing in the background and looking cool. With this episode, the viewer is reminded that Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs was a good actor in his own right and capable of playing both drama and comedy.

Next week …. it’s Epstein’s turn in the spotlight!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th: The Series 1.21 “Double Exposure”

Posted on March 15, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

This week, a reporter uses a cursed camera to make the news!

Episode 1.21 “Double Exposure”

(Dir by Neill Fearnley, originally aired on May 16th, 1988)

As you may remember, at the end of the previous episode, Ryan reluctantly left the Pentite Community and returned to Toronto so that he could continue to help Micki and Jack track down the cursed antiques. When he left, he promised Laura that he would always love her.

Well, that didn’t last long. This episode opens with a Ryan in a photobooth, taking pictures of himself and his new girlfriend, Cathy! RYAN, YOU CAD! Now, in Ryan’s defense, Cathy is played by Catherine Disher (who previously played the supercool Sophie in the first season of T and T) and she seems like a much better match for Ryan than the somewhat dour Laura. Cathy and Ryan actually have fun together! Of course, this is Friday the 13th and that means that all fun is temporary.

There’s a serial killer stalking Toronto and Ryan just happens to witness him murdering his latest victim in an alley. To Ryan’s shock, the killer appears to Winston Knight (Gary Frank), a television news anchorman who is currently getting huge rating because of his reporting on the killings. But how can that be? When Ryan witnesses the murder, Winston is live on the air, delivering the news. Winston even gets a phone call from someone claiming to be the murderer.

Winston speculates that the killer might be an obsessed fan who is wearing a Winston Knight mask. Of course, the truth of the matter is that Winston is using a cursed camera to take a picture of himself. The picture then turns into a doppelganger of Winston. The Doppelganger commits a murder, Winston reports on the tragedy, and then, after five hours, Winston sets the negative on fire and the Doppelganger is destroyed. If Winston doesn’t destroy the negative after five hours, Winston will be the one who is destroyed and the Doppelganger will become human. It all sounds a bit complicated, to be honest. You have to wonder how Winston managed to figure all of this out.

Anyway, the important thing is that Winston is eventually exposed as the murderer. While trying to kill Ryan at the antique store, the Doppelganger is stabbed by Ryan. It doesn’t hurt the Doppelganger until Winston fails to burn the negative and vanishes from existence. The Doppelganger becomes human and then promptly drops dead of his wound. Ryan conquers another cursed antique but, unfortunately, not before the Doppelganger murders Cathy. The episode ends not on a note of triumph but instead with Ryan looking at a picture of Cathy and tearing up.

Wow, what a dark episode! Sometimes, it’s easy to forget that, on this show, Ryan is basically a very naive and very earnest teenager. He falls in love easily, he always believes that things will turn out for the best, and his heart is broken nearly every time he has to retrieve an antique. Jack is used to the pain and Micki is a bit of a cynic but Ryan is still trying to balance happiness with the psychological damage that comes from seeing the worst things possible on a weekly basis. John D. LeMay and Catherine Disher were adorable together and it was hard not to get a bit upset when Cathy fell victim to the Doppelganger. This episode was sad but undeniably effective.

Poor Ryan!

Retro Television Review: T and T 2.20 “A Natural Death”

Posted on March 15, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, the second season comes to an end!

Episode 2.20 “A Natural Death”

(Dir by Patrick Loubert, originally aired on May 22nd, 1989)

When a patient nearly dies at a hospital, the blame is placed on a nurse named Eloise (Elizabeth Hanna). Eloise is accused of falling asleep at her station. However, Eloise has never fallen asleep at her station in the past and she has a reputation for being a good nurse. Eloise retain Amy Taler to defend her at a board hearing and Amy sends T.S. to the hospital to investigate.

T.S. discovers that the patient is a retired gangster and he starts to suspect that maybe Eloise was set up by someone who wants him dead. But when Eloise herself announces that she no longer wants to to work at the hospital, T.S. comes to suspect that there’s even more to the story.

Oddly enough, there isn’t more to the story. A doctor who owes money to the mob drugged Eloise’s coffee and caused Eloise to fall asleep. The doctor then agreed to help Eloise find work at another hospital in return for dropping her appeal. When the gangsters shows up and demand that the doctor personally kill the patient, he agrees but — surprise! — he was just pretending to agree until T.S., Amy, and the cops could show up.

What a weird episode with which to end the second season. The mystery isn’t much of a mystery. T.S. Turner doesn’t beat anyone up. For whatever reason, both Amy and T.S. appear to be annoyed with the world in general for much of this episode. Amy rolls her eyes when Decker says that he wants to become a better businessman so his gym doesn’t go bankrupt. Turner rolls his eyes when Amy tells him that she wants him to investigate the hospital. Joe, the orphan who Amy and Turner more-or-less adopted at the start of the second season, is nowhere to be seen. This does not, in any way, feel like a season finale and it wouldn’t surprise me to discover that it had been meant to air earlier in the season.

What to say about the second season? It definitely wasn’t as good as the first season. If the first season was fun and energetic, the second season often felt dour. The cast often seemed to just be going through the motions and there was little of the intentional humor that occasionally distinguished the first season. Turner’s quips were a bit less amusing and the show didn’t seem to have the slightest idea what to do with Amy.

Speaking of Amy, this episode was also the finale for her character. Season 3 finds Tuner working for a new lawyer. We’ll find out more next week when we start looking at the final season of T and T.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 1.24 & 1.25 “Thoroughbreds”

Posted on March 14, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee and several other services!

This week, season one concludes with a two-part episode.

Episodes 1.24 and 1.25 “Thoroughbreds”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on May 1st and 8th, 1985)

For their last assignment of the first season, Jonathan and Mark are sent to work at a stable owned by the wealthy Mr. Armstong (Stephen Elliott). Lizzy MacGill (a young Helen Hunt) is the daughter of one of Amrstrong’s employees (Noble Willingham) and has practically grown up at the stables. She loves horses and, as the first episode progresses, she also falls in love with Mr. Armstrong’s spoiled son, Garth (John Hammond).

Garth falls in love with Lizzie as well, learning how to be both a better horseman and just a better man from his interactions with her. Despite his father’s threat to disown him, Garth breaks off his engagement to Ms. Richy McSnobby Snob (that may not have been her actual name) and he elopes with Lizzie.

Yay!

Except …. Lizzie has cancer and she doesn’t know it! The test comes back on the exact same day that she runs off with Garth. Part one ends with two fathers in tears, though each for different reasons.

At the start of Part Two, Jonathan tracks down Lizzie and informs her of her diagnosis. Without telling Garth what’s going on, she returns home and is informed that 1) she must start chemotherapy immediately and 2) she’s pregnant. Her doctor (Richard Bull) tells Lizzie that she’ll have to have an abortion if she wants to start treatment. Lizzie runs from the hospital.

As for Garth, he naturally wants to know what’s going on. Lizzie lies to him and tells him that she only wanted him for his father’s money and since he’s now cut-off, they might as well just call off the marriage as well. Heart-broken, Garth decides to marry RIchy McSnobby Snob.

Worst ending ever, right? Well, don’t worry, it’s not over yet. Jonathan and Mark crash the wedding (and Jonathan tells a lie to get into the church, which I thought was a no-no for angels) and Jonathan causes A FIRE TO BREAK OUT IN THE CHURCH’S BASEMENT! Again, this does not seem like good angel behavior. Anyway, all the smoke gives Garth time to realize that he actually does love Lizzie and, after Mark informs him about why Lizzie actually left him, Garth rushes back to Lizzie and they go to the local Justice of the Peace to get married. Fortunately, Jonathan is able to convince Mr. Elliott to come to that wedding as well.

The episode ends with a flashforward, in which we see Lizzie and Garth’s toddler son playing outside while an apparently healthy Lizzie watches.

Yay!

It’s not a bad way to end the first season, though I do think the story could have just as easily been told in one episode as opposed to two. (The first episode especially feels padded out.) Helen Hunt and John Hammond made for a perfectly adorable couple and their chemistry ensured that the show’s signature mix of sentimentality and melodrama never felt too cloying. All in all, this was a good ending to a fairly strong first season.

Next week, season 2 begins!

Retro Television Reviews: Puppetman 1.1 “Pilot”

Posted on March 14, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Puppetman, which aired on CBS in 1987. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, we have the pilot for Puppetman, a sitcom that was created by the people behind the Muppets.

Episode 1.1 “Puppetman”

(Dir by Alan Rafkin, originally aired on July 3rd, 1987)

Gary (Fred Newman) is a puppeteer who spends most of his day hiding beneath a cardboard wall while speaking in the voice of a naive dragon. Much like the guy from the Police Academy films, Gary does a lot of other sound effects as well. Who needs to pay for an SFX department when Gary can perfectly duplicate any sound that’s needed? Gary works on a PBS puppet show that is hosted by the mercurial Rita (Julie Payne). His co-puppeteers are Del (Richard Hunt) and Holly (Lisa Waltz). It would seem that he has the perfect life, though it’s hard not to notice that Gary seems to be a lot more comfortable expressing his emotions through his puppets than through face-to-face conversation.

Gary’s ex-wife calls and explains that she has an audition for a play. She asks if Gary can look after their six year-old son, Zack (Michael Patrick Carter). Gary agrees, though he worries about whether or not he’ll be as good a full-time father as he was a part-time father. At first, Zack is excited to spend time with his father but then he’s bitterly disappointed when Gary has to keep abandoning him because of the demands of his job. Gary is good at holding the show together but he’s less skilled at meeting the emotional needs of a six year-old.

Gary’s going to have to get better at it, though. When his wife calls and says that she got the part and she’s going to be on the road for the next six months, she asks Gary to take Zack. Gary agrees but first, he has to ask Zack. And what better way to ask Zack than to have a puppet do it for him?

The Puppetman pilot was co-written by Jim Henson, the creator of the Muppets. Perhaps not surprisingly, the pilot is at its best when it deals with what goes on behind-the-scenes of a PBS children’s show. The stuff with Zack is rather rudimentary but the pilot actually comes to life when it deals with temperamental grown-ups and idealized puppets. When Rita decides to sing a song without giving anyone any advance warning and the puppeteers decide to upstage Rita by having one of the dragon puppets sneeze on her, it’s obvious that Henson was writing from his own personal experiences.

To be honest, this was kind of a depressing pilot. Gary is a nice guy and he’s likable and he wants to be a good father but it’s obvious that he can only express his emotions through his puppets. As a result, Zack is far more comfortable talking to the puppets than talking to his own father. Throughout the whole pilot, one gets the feeling that Gary has been so deeply wounded in the past that he’s scared to open up. Even the show’s laugh track sounds kind of sad.

Perhaps that explains why only one episode of Puppetman aired. Gary agreed to watch Zack for six months but America would not be watching either one of them.