The Village People | Through the Shattered Lens

1980’s Can’t Stop The Music opens with Jack Morrell (young Steve Guttenberg) working in a record store. However, he’s got bigger plans that just standing behind a cash register. He quits his job and then roller skates around New York with a big goofy grin on his face. Everyone he passes is charmed. And why not? New Yorkers are famous for their good-humor and polite manners.

Jack is a songwriter but he doesn’t have the voice necessary to sell his songs. His platonic roommate, former supermodel Sam Simpson (Valerie Perrine), decides that what Jack needs is a band to sing his lyrics. Luckily, Sam knows a singer named Felipe Rose. He spends all of his time dressed like an Indian brave. There’s no specific reason given for his costume choice, it’s just something that he does. Sam and Jack are also able to recruit a construction worker (David Hodo), a “leatherman” (Glenn Hughes), a cowboy (Randy Jones), a G.I. (Alex Briley), and a singing cop (Ray Simpson). The name of the band? The Village People!

Yes, Can’t Stop The Music is fictionalized story of how The Village People came together. It was directed by TV actress Nancy Walker. It was a major studio production, one that was expected to build on the popularity of disco and bring in a lot of money. Unfortunately, it was released at the same moment that disco stopped being trendy. Can’t Stop The Music has a reputation for being bad and campy. Both of those things are true but I should point out that it’s also a remarkably boring film. The movie is full of characters who are constantly coming and going. Sam has a large collection of friends and former co-workers, all of whom just tend to randomly pop up. Most of them don’t really add much to the overall plot and, indeed, it’s hard not to resent being expected to keep track of all of them when there’s really no reason for many of them to be in the film. A pre-transition Caitlyn Jenner plays Ron White, a lawyer who is mugged while delivering a cake and who ends up as Sam’s boyfriend. As much as I made fun of Jenner as a performer while reviewing CHiPs, Jenner is even worse in You Can’t Stop The Music. In fact, Jenner’s performance is one of the worst that I have ever seen. If Ron angry? Is Ron sad? Is Ron in love? Is Ron an alien from outer space? You never really can tell, largely because Caitlyn Jenner’s performance is so inept. It’s not so much that Jenner can’t show emotion and one gets the feeling that Jenner isn’t even sure what emotion is.

As for the Village People themselves …. well, this film leaves little doubt that none of them were professional actors. Felipe Rose probably comes the closest to giving a credible performance but, as individuals, the members of the Village People aren’t that interesting and it takes forever for them to actually become a group. Even after they become a group, they still can’t generate enough on-screen charisma to really hold our attention. Who knew the Village People were so boring?

The majority of the film plays coy as far as the subtext of the Village People’s song are concerned. Steve Guttenberg’s character is definitely gay-coded without the film actually coming out and saying so.. The construction worker gets a fantasy in which he imagines being lusted after by several female groupies. The first few performances of the Village People are rather bland and it’s almost as if the film is trying to avoid the fact that the Village People’s songs and the personas of the performers all paid tribute to gay culture in the 1970s. But then the film hits the YMCA production number and suddenly, the Village People are frolicking with half-naked, muscular men while joyfully singing about everything that’s available at the YMCA. For that brief moment, the film embraces the campiness of the Village People and this major studio production actually becomes a bit subversive. It’s also one of the few moments in the film in which anyone seems to be genuinely happy. The Village People seem to be having fun. Unfortunately, the YMCA sequence is the exception instead of the rule.

Can’t Stop The Music‘s sin isn’t that it’s boring as much as it’s just bland. It’s an incredibly blah film. No film about New York in the 70s has any right to be so forgettable.

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Come aboard, they’re expecting you!

Episode 4.7 “The Horse Lover/Secretary to the Stars/Julie’s Decision/Gopher and Isaac Buy a Horse/Village People Ride Again”

(Dir by Roger Duchowny, originally aired on November 22nd, 1980)

Well, let’s see who is sailing on the Love Boat this week….

Uh-oh.

That’s right! This week, The Village People are taking a cruise! The disco group boards the boat while singing — you guessed it — In The Navy. Captain Stubing is a huge fan of the Village People and he’s excited to learn that they will not only be sailing on the boat but they will also be performing their new song, Magic Night. Stubing mentions that he wishes he could be a village person. He’s already got a hat! And he’s served in the Navy! Stubing never gets around to whether or not he spent the night at YMCA and that’s probably a good thing.

This week, the boat is sailing to Acapulco for the Acapulco Steeplechase. The Village People have entered a horse in the race, one that will be ridden by the Indian. Gopher and Isaac have also bought a horse and entered it into the race. They name the horse “Captain Stubing” and they go through a lot of trouble to keep the real Captain Stubing from finding out that they have snuck the horse on board. The thing is, though — there are a lot of horses on board! Nearly every passenger has brought a horse with them and the boat actually has a stable to hold them all during the cruise. I’m not really sure why it’s a problem for Gopher and Isaac to have a horse, other than the fact that they both spend a lot of time checking in on the horse. “Where is my crew!?” Stubing demands, while looking around the ship.

Paul Willis (Alan Ludden) is traveling with both his horse and his wife, Louise (Betty White). Louise is upset that Paul seems to care more about the horse than her. Louise even considers having a fling with Cliff (David Doyle), a man who wants to buy Paul’s horse.

Meanwhile, wealthy playboy Bret Garrett (Robert Stack) boards the ship and immediately falls in love with Julie. Despite a 30-year age difference, Bret asks Julie to marry him. This is the fourth or fifth times that a passenger has proposed to Julie during the course of a cruise. Julie is happy but the crew worries that Bret might be too worldly and chronically unfaithful for Julie.

Finally, movie star Kim Holland (Loni Anderson) puts on glasses and a brunette wig and pretends to be an Englishwoman named Doris, all in order to keep people from bothering her on the cruise. Tom Benson (Charles Frank) is obsessed, to an almost creepy extent, with Kim. But then he falls in love with Doris, who he believes to be Kim’s secretary. Tom fails to notice that 1) Doris looks just like Kim, just with glasses and brown hair and 2) Doris’s British accent doesn’t sound British at all. Instead, it sounds like an American trying really hard to sound British.

The Steeplechase is won, rather easily, by Paul. Both Gopher and the Indian end up getting thrown off their horses and they engage in a footrace to the finish line, for reasons that are not exactly clear. After the race, Paul finally realizes how much he’s been neglecting Louise and he sells the horse to Cliff. Meanwhile, Captain Stubing says that, next year, he’ll buy a horse with Gopher and Isaac and they’ll enter the horse into the race together. As for Bret, he realizes that he’s not right with Julie and he pretends to cheat on her so that she’ll dump him.

And what about Kim? Well, she tells Tom the truth and also reveals that her real name is June. “Kim, Doris, June,” Tom says, “I can’t wait to get to know all three of you.” Uhmm …. okay, not creepy at all. Anyway, Tom and Kim leave the boat together but, right this episode ended, Kim appeared on an episode of Fantasy Island, in which she was again single and looking to escape her fame. So, I guess she dumped Tom after a week. Good for her! Tom was super creepy.

Finally, all that is left to do is to say goodbye to the Village People.

This episode was an odd one. Robert Stack was charming as Bret, even if he didn’t have much chemistry with Lauren Tewes. Loni Anderson was fairly terrible as Kim, just as she would be on Fantasy Island. And the Village People …. I mean, where do I even begin? For a group associated with both disco and gay liberation, they came across as being an oddly dull collection of characters. Of course, it’s doubtful that the target audience of The Love Boat knew what In The Navy was about or even understood why the members of the group were costumed the way that they were. At one point, the Construction Worker even gives Julie an appreciate glance, as if the show’s producers were saying, “See, those rumors are just rumors!”

That said, I tend to like the odd episodes of The Love Boat and this episode functioned as a time capsule, if nothing else. All it needed was Charo and it could have been put in a museum!