Married Singles”

Posted on October 26, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Love exciting and new….

Come aboard! We’re expecting you!

Episode 1.8 “Lost and Found / The Understudy / Married Singles”

(Directed by Stuart Margolin, originally aired on November 19th, 1977)

This week’s cruise is all about secrets and lies.

For instance, Durwood Moss (Steve Allen) and Maisie Nolan (Polly Bergen) are currently separated and their therapist has suggested that they try taking separate vacations. Maisie books a cabin on the cruise so Durwood books the cabin next door. As Durwood explains it, being in separate cabins counts as being on separate vacations. Not letting anyone know that they’re married (albeit unhappily so), Durwood pursues Barbie (Loni Anderson) and Maisie flirts with Jack (Joshua Plymouth). Of course, Durwood and Maisie end up realizing that they’re still in love. Fortunately, Jack and Barbie also fall in love with each other!

Meanwhile, 8 year-old Theodore Denison, Jr. (James Bond III) lies and says that he has his parents’ permission to be on the cruise by himself. Of course, it turns out that he’s actually a runaway. On the cruise, he meets Sharon and Richard Baker (Sandy Duncan and Jim Stafford), a married couple that is struggling to come to terms with the death of their son. Sharon wants to adopt Theodore and Theodore wants to be adopted. But then Theodore’s real parents show up and apologize for the fight that caused Theodore to run away in the first place. Still, Sharon and Richard at least find the courage to try to move on from their tragedy.

Finally, Connie Evans (Jo Ann Harris) is an assistant cruise director who has been assigned to the ship. Julie (Lauren Tewes) is supposed to be training Connie but it soon becomes clear that, in typical All About Eve fashion, Connie is plotting to steal Julie’s job. Connie’s plan is … well, it’s interesting. She continually screws up the simplest of duties and then claims that she was only doing what Julie trained her to do. When she shows up for dinner in a skimpy outfit, she claims that it’s what Julie told her to wear. I guess the plan is to make Julie look like she’s bad at training people but just because someone isn’t good at training, that doesn’t mean that they’re bad at their overall job. In fact, it would seem that most people would look at Connie’s actions and say, “You should have had enough common sense to know better, even if that’s what Julie told you.” Anyway, it all works out, albeit somewhat bizarrely. The captain reprimands Connie. The crew hates Connie and goes out of its way to humiliate her. And yet, even after it become obvious that Connie has been trying to get her fired, Julie agrees to help Connie because she thinks Connie has the makings of being a great cruise director. Just how painfully nice is Julie?

This was not a bad episode. The stuff with Durwood and Maisie was a bit dull but the other two storylines worked. Sandy Duncan brought a lot of emotional sincerity to her plotline and Jo Ann Harris was hilariously conniving in the role of Connie. This episode was a cruise that I enjoyed.

Will I also enjoy the next cruise? Find out next week!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 10/16/22 — 10/22/22

Posted on October 22, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I watched very little television this week because I’ve been preparing for Halloween! I’ll have to get caught up on what I’ve missed later. Or, I’ll just shrug off the previous two episodes of Bachelor in Paradise. These are the difficult life choices that we all face.

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

Janine’s insistence that the kids drink more juice leads to a crisis at Abbott! Meanwhile, Ava continues to be the best character on the show. This was a funny episode, though Gregory is going to have to tell Janine how he feels at some point soon or I’m going to start to lose respect for him. Melissa and her teacher’s aide provided a lot of good laughs. I have a feeling I would be a pretty annoying teacher’s aide, as well.

The Amazing Race (Wednesday Night, CBS)

The Amazing Race goes to Jordan! The scenery was lovely and, after struggling over the last two legs of the race, Claire and Derek finally had another good day. Yay! I wrote about the latest episode of The Amazing Race here!

Atlanta (Thursday Night, FX)

Earn, Van, and Lottie go camping! After last week’s wild episode, this week was definitely a bit more low-key. This episode was a funny, well-acted, but somewhat melancholy exploration of Earn and Van’s relationship. Earn wants Van to go to Los Angeles with him. Van said that she loves Earn but the episode ended without a decision on moving to L.A.

Bubblegum Crisis (Nightflight Plus)

I watched the second episode of this anime on Saturday morning. There were robots and a lot of explosions and the bad guys were referred to as being “boomers,” which made me smile. I have no idea what’s going on but the visuals are impressive.

Fantasy Island (Tubi)

Check out this week’s review of Fantasy Island here!

Ghosts (Thursday Night, CBS)

The ghosts tried to save a tree and Thor became an environmentalist. It was funnier than it sounds.

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, FOX)

For the first time this season, it was men vs. women. And shockingly enough, the men pretty much destroyed the women during the service. Usually, it’s the opposite on Hell’s Kitchen. The women usually come together during their first dinner service while the men struggle. It usually takes a while for the women to start fighting with each other. Chef Ramsay was so angry that he demanded three nominees from the women. Ramsay sent home the chef who he felt had lost her passion to win. No, I cannot remember her name and yes, I’m too lazy to look it up.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

Check out this week’s review of The Love Boat here!

Night Flight (NightFlight Plus)

On Friday night, I watched an episode of this old show, one that featured interviews with music video directors. The video for Duran Duran’s A View To A Kill was discussed. That song, incidentally, is one of my favorite James Bond songs.

Survivor (Wednesday Night, CBS)

I reviewed this week’s episode here!

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 1.7 “Julie’s Old Flame / The Jinx / The Identical Problem”

Posted on October 19, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Love, exciting and new!

Let it go, it floats back to you!

We all float down here!

Episode 1.7 “Julie’s Old Flame / The Jinx / The Identical Problem”

(Directed by Don Weis, originally aired on November 12th, 1977)

The Love Boat is jinxed!

Or, at least, that’s what the crew assumes when they meet Horace and Henrietta McDonald (played by Ray Bolger and Harriet Nelson). Horace and Henrietta first met when they were children and they’ve been in love ever since. In fact, they met each other on a cruise. Unfortunately, that cruise was the Titanic!

(Remember, when this episode aired, it had been 65 years since the Titanic sank. So, there were still a few elderly survivors around.)

Anyway, the crew worries that Horace and Henrietta might bring bad luck with them and, before you know it, everyone’s getting injured. Doc Bricker gets hit by a door and ends up having to wear a bandage on his head. Gopher trips in the lounge. Isaac gets whiplash after falling in the pool. Julie ends up wearing an eye patch. To be honest, I think the crew is just clumsy.

While the crew is trying not to die, identical twins Ellen and Helen (Diana Canova) are trying to keep the crew from realizing that they’re both on the boat. (They only bought one ticket.) One of the twins falls in love with Doc Bricker. The other can’t stand him. Bricker being Bricker, he really doesn’t care how the twins feel about him. He just wants to get laid. Still, Bricker spend most of the episode very confused and very afraid of the Titanic jinx.

Meanwhile, Julie is shocked when she discovers that Buddy Stanfield (David Hedison) is on the cruise! Buddy is a wealthy and handsome attorney and he’s also Julie’s former lover. They had a whirlwind romance in Paris but then Julie discovered that Buddy was married and her heart was broken. Now, Buddy claims that he’s divorced and Julie starts to fall for him again. It’s pretty obvious that Buddy is lying but who can blame Julie when he’s played by the classy and suave David Hedison. Hedison played Felix Leiter in Live and Let Die and License to Kill. In between dealing with the jinx, the crew tries to proect Julie from Buddy. Of course, Buddy’s wife eventually shows up but at least Julie has her friends to support her!

Anyway, this was a pretty predictable episode and the plot with the twins was way too silly to believed. It didn’t help that the twins appeared to be in their early 20s while Doc Bricker is in his 40s at least. But David Hedison was a perfect cad and Ray Bolger (who, of course, is best-remembered for playing the Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz) and Harriet Nelson were an adorable couple. This episode was nothing special but it was still enjoyable while it lasted.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 10/9/22 — 10/15/22

Posted on October 15, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I spent most of this week watching movies but I did catch a few shows. Here’s some thoughts on them:

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

Ava is such a cool principal! This week’s episode wasn’t as strong as the previous three episodes but the scenes in which we saw how Ava dealt with disciplinary problems were entertaining. “I want to go to the principal’s office!”

The Amazing Race (Wednesday Night, CBS)

I reviewed the latest episode of The Amazing Race here!

Atlanta (Thursday Night, FX)

Another crazy day at the mall. I’m glad Al survived. Earn and Darius got their shoes. The Crank Dat Killer was taken off the streets. Some Guy Named Doug finally got to collaborate with Al. Another day in Atlanta.

Bachelor in Paradise (Monday and Tuesday Night, ABC)

Eh. This season is too complicated for me. The scenery’s nice.

Baywatch (Weekday Morning, H&I)

I watched an episode of Baywatch on Wednesday morning. After an accident left him paralyzed, Manny had a crisis of confidence. Meanwhile, Neely and Mitch continued to argue on the beach. This was an episode from Baywatch’s final season. It was all a bit silly but the scenery was nice.

Fantasy Island (Tubi)

You can read my review of what I watched by clicking here!

Full House (Sunday Evening, MeTV)

In the first episode, Aunt Becky went back to work and Danny panicked because it meant his new girlfriend would be leaving Wake Up, San Francisco. Fortunately, she got hired to do weather so I guess that all worked out. Becky going back to work reminded me of how little Jesse actually does.

In the second episode, a singer was hired to perform at Stephanie’s birthday party. Stephanie had a crush on him but he had a crush on DJ. The singer was like 30 so he really shouldn’t have had a crush on either of them.

Ghosts (Thursday Night, CBS)

Poor Jay! He just wants some friends, like his wife has with the ghosts. Unfortunately, he always seems to end up finding the worst possible friends around. This week, he nearly got sucked into a cult. Perhaps Jay should follow the ghost’s advice and become a snake oil salesman.

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, FOX)

O’Shay being eliminated was not a huge surprise. It really should have happened last week, when he tried to send out raw chicken. The episode ended with Chef Ramsay announcing that the 20s vs. 40s competition was over and the show was reverting back to its usual women vs men format. Again, this wasn’t a huge surprise. Hell’s Kitchen, unlike several other reality shows, has pretty much stuck with its original format and I don’t see it changing any time soon.

Interview With A Vampire (Sunday Night, AMC)

I’m still struggling to get into this one, for whatever reason. I’ll give it another try next week and maybe rewatch the first two episodes as well.

Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)

This week, the criminal was a serial killer who was also a famous actor. The episode wasn’t anything special but at least it wasn’t obnoxiously political.

Law & Order: Organized Crime (Thursday Night, NBC)

I watched it but I’d be lying if I said I remembered a thing about it, beyond Stabler looking like he was about to give himself a heart attack with all of his pent-up rage.

Law & Order: SVU (Thursday Night, NBC)

Again, I watched it but I don’t remember much about it. By broadcasting all of these Law & Order shows on the same night, NBC is causing them to blend together in my mind.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I reviewed what I watched here!

Mike Judge’s Beavis and Butt-Head (Paramount Plus)

I honestly thought last week’s episode was the season finale but it turns out I was wrong! A new episode dropped on Thursday. Beavis and Butt-Head building their own dinosaur was hilarious and also sad. “Why did we do this?”

The Real Love Boat (Wednesday Night, CBS)

Who cares? The old Love Boat is more fun.

Survivor (Wednesday Night, CBS)

I reviewed the latest episode of Survivor here!

Talking Dead (Sunday Night, AMC)

I didn’t pay much attention. Chris Hardwicke seemed kind of bored with it all.

The Walking Dead (Sunday Night, AMC)

I hate to admit it but I have yet to find the time to write out full length reviews of the past two episodes of The Walking Dead. Hopefully, I’ll get a chance to do it next week. As for last week’s episode, it was an improvement on the episode that came before it. I’m kind of bored with the downfall of the Commonwealth, though. I think the show made an excuse taking that long break before starting the final half of season 11. I was really into the show before that break but now I’m struggling to get reinvested.

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 1.6 “The Joker Is Mild / Take My Granddaughter, Please / First Time Out”

Posted on October 12, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Come aboard, we’re expecting you….

The Love Boat 1.5 “The Joker Is Mild / Take My Granddaughter, Please / First Time Out”

(Dir by Richard Kinon and Alan Rafkin, originally aired on October 29th, 1977)

This week’s cruise is all about remaining true to yourself!

For instance, Julie makes what appears to be a big mistake when she agrees to let a washed-up comic named Barry Keys (Phil Foster) do a show in the ship’s lounge. Throughout the cruise, Barry gets on everyone’s nerves with his old-fashioned jokes and his vaudeville stylings. Captain Stubing gives Julie an annoyed look whenever Barry starts to speak. Julie knows that her career is on the line but she made a promise. And Barry, it turns out, know what he’s doing. When it comes time for his performance, he asks for a stool so that he can sit in the middle of the stage and talk about the generation gap. (“Let’s rap, as the kids say,” Barry says.) Hooray! Barry has revived his career and Julie still has a job.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Warner (Ruth Gordon) is determined to find a husband for her granddaughter, Shirley (Patty Duke, who spends the entire episode looking as if she’s wondering how she could go from winning an Oscar to this). Shirley would like to hook up with the pleasantly bland Dave King (played by Tab Hunter). Mrs. Warner wants her to go out with Dr. Bricker! In the end, Shirley stands up for herself, as any single 30 year-old should. (To be honest, I thought Patty Duke’s character was closer to 40 but that’s mostly the fault of whoever in the costume department decided to make her wear some of the least flattering outfits available.) It’s all for the best. Dave is a nice guy and Doc has an exam room full of pornographic magazines to take care of.

Finally, a group of college students board the ship with one mission in mind. They want their friend Dan (Robert Hegyes, who has a truly impressive head of hair) to lose his virginity. Dan, it turns out, is not only shy but he also has no idea how to talk to women. Fortunately, her runs into Marcia Brady (Maureen McCormick) and it turns out that Marica likes shy, socially awkward guys with a lot of hair. Okay, technically Maureen is playing Barbara Holmes but seriously, we all know that Barbara was actually Marcia.

This was a majorly uneven episode. Barry’s revised act didn’t seem any funnier than his old stuff and it was kind of hard to sympathize with Shirley and her inability to make her own decisions. That said, Maureen McCormick and Robert Hegyes made for a cute couple and their storyline was the most satisfying of the episode. Personally, I think this episode would have worked better if Ruth Gordon had played Maureen McCormick’s grandmother as opposed to Patty Duke’s. McCormick was young enough that it would have been a bit less pathetic for her to be bossed around by her grandmother and one can imagine how Ruth Gordon would have reacted to McCormick picking hairy Dan over a doctor.

Oh well! The important thing is that everything worked out in the end and love won’t hurt anymore.

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 1.5 “Isaac the Groupie / Mr. Popularity / Help! Murder!”

Posted on October 5, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Just remember …. the Love Boat promises something for everyone.

Episode 1.5 “Isaac the Groupie / Mr. Popularity / Help! Murder!”

(Directed by Peter Baldwin, Tony Webster, and James Sheldon, originally aired on October 22nd, 1977)

This episode was all about mistaken identities.

Robert Tanner (Jim Nabors) is the most annoying man to ever set sail on the Love Boat. All he does is talk and talk about what he had for dinner. Unfortunately, he’s had the same liver and onions dinner for several years now so it’s not like he has much to say that would be considered to be new. Everyone on the ship avoids Mr. Tanner but Captain Stubing insists that Julie figure out a way to keep him happy. (No, not like that….) Fortunately, two passengers read an article about an international jewel thief named Roscoe Toler and they decide that Tanner must be Toler. (What?) Suddenly, everyone is hanging out with Mr. Tanner and listening to his stories. I’m not sure why being mistaken for a criminal would make everyone want to hang out with Tanner. I mean, aren’t they worried about their jewelry?

While that’s going on, Isaac is excited because his favorite singer, Roxy Blue (Diahann Carroll), is sailing on the boat. She’s using an assumed name. Not even the rest of the crew know that she’s onboard. But Isaac recognizes her as soon as she sits down at the bar and soon, the two of them are having a ship-board romance. Good for Isaac and, even more importantly, good for Ted Lange, who gives a really likable performance in this episode. Unfortunately, once the cruise ends, Roxy will go back to her life as the world’s most famous singer and Isaac will once again be the ship’s only bartender. This is one of those storylines that would be unthinkable today. Just try to imagine any celebrity managing to sneak on a boat (or anywhere) without the world knowing.

Finally, in our third and final storyline, Bert Fredricks (David Groh) wants to throw a surprise party for his wife, Denise (Michele Lee). Unfortunately, his wife spots him talking to Julie and decides that Bert is cheating on her. Then she overhears Gopher talking about “blowing up” something and she decides that Bert is going to kill her! (Gopher was actually talking about the photographs that Bert had asked him to secretly take of his wife.) Everything is eventually worked out but seriously, how bad was their marriage that Denise had absolutely no doubt that Bert was going to kill her so that he could run off with a cruise director that he had only known for a day?

Anyway, this was another one of those mixed episodes. The Isaac storyline was nice, largely because of the chemistry between Lange and Carroll. The other two storylines were both examples of the type of thing that drives me crazy, where everything could be resolved if people just talked to each other and used a little common sense. That said, Michele Lee had a few funny moments of panic. I’d like to have a surprise birthday party on a cruise ship. That’s the important thing.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 1.4 “Message for Maureen / Gotcha / Acapulco Connection”

Posted on September 28, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome aboard, it’s love!

Episode 1.4 “Message for Maureen / Gotcha / Acapulco Connection”

(Directed by Stuart Margolin, Richard Kinon, and Peter Baldwin, originally aired on October 15th, 1977)

Oh no! It’s a stowaway! I guess any television show that took place on a cruise ship would have to feature at least one storyline featuring a stowaway. It’s a bit disconcerting that The Love Boat couldn’t make it for more than four episodes before using the most obvious plotline but then again, the show ended up running for 9 seasons and a movie. So, apparently, audiences didn’t mind and I have a feeling that there will probably be many more stowaway stories to come.

The stowaway in this episode is April Lopez (played by Charo). Apparently, April became a recurring character, one who appeared in almost every season. In this, her first appearance, she sneaks onto the boat in Acapulco. The captain is not happy when she’s discovered hiding in a laundry hamper but everyone else is charmed by just how loud and talkative she is. Because there’s no available rooms, April is housed with Doc Bricker until she can be dropped off at the next port. Of course, Doc falls in love because Doc fell in love with everyone who came into his exam room. Seriously, Doc was an HR nightmare waiting to happen.

Of course, April is not the only exhausting person to be on the ship. There’s also Cyril Wolfe (Milton Berle), a nonstop practical joker whose wife (Audra Lindley) is getting sick of dealing with him and really, who can blame her? Cyril greets a total stranger with a joy buzzer. He carries around a fake, detachable hand so that he can freak people out. Cyril can’t even give it a rest during their vacation! Pretty soon, not only his wife but the crew are pretty sick of him. (Most of the people watching the show will be sick of him, too.) Do they conspire to toss Cyril overboard? They could probably get away with it, seeing as how all of the ship’s nominal authority figures are busy dealing with a stowaway who loves to sing. Somehow, Cyril survives his trip and he and his wife end up more in love than ever.

Finally, Maureen Mitchell (Brenda Benet) is a former tennis player who is now in a wheelchair. All she wants is a few days of vacation before she meets with a surgeon who might be able to help her walk again. Unfortunately, she discovers that an arrogant sportswriter named John (Bill Bixby) is also on the cruise! At first, she wants nothing to do with him but when John injures his knee and has to use a wheelchair for the rest of the cruise, the two of them fall in love….

Hold on. You know what just occurred to me? Last week’s episode featured Robert Reed and Loretta Swit as two people who don’t like each other but just happen to end up on the same cruise. This episode featured Brenda Benet and Bill Bixby as two people who don’t like each other but just happen to end up on the same cruise …. how long did The Love Boat writers last before they said, “Okay, we’re out of stories. Let’s start repeating ourselves?”

Anyway, this episode was a mixed bag. Charo and Milton Berle were not particularly subtle performers and their storylines felt as if they were designed to invite them to indulge in their worst impulses as performers. But Bill Bixby and Brenda Benet had a lot of chemistry as John and Maureen and their story actually worked as a result. (Bixby and Benet were married at the time they appeared in this episode.) Plus, the ship looked lovely. So did the ocean. That’s what really matters.

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 1.3 “Ex Plus Y / Golden Agers / Graham and Kelly”

Posted on September 21, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Love! Was it exciting and new this week?

Episode 1.3 “Ex Plus Y / Golden Agers / Graham and Kelly”

(Directed by Adam Rafkin and Stuart Margolin, originally aired on October 8th, 1977)

The third episode of The Love Boat is all about age differences, growing together, and growing apart.

For instance, it’s love at first sight when Julie spots Jim Wright (Charles Frank). I mean, hey, his name is even “Mr. Wright!” And it turns out that, even though he looks like he’s 40, Mr. Wright is actually only 30! And he likes Julie too! The problem, however, is that Jim has been hired to serve as a tour guide for a group of elderly tourists. And those tourists (led by Edward Andrews) simply will not leave Mr. Wright alone! Every time Mr. Wright tries to spend some time alone with Julie, the old people show up. Obviously, the show means for us to sympathize with Julie and Jim but I think I’m actually on the side of the old people as far as this is concerned. I mean, they didn’t pay money so that Jim could have a vacation. They paid Jim to be their tour guide and, unless he’s going to refund their money, that’s what he needs to concentrate on. He and Julie can fall in love once Jim is off the clock.

While Julie pursues Jim, 12 year-olds Kelly (Kristy McNichol) and Graham (a very young Scott Baio) pursue their own romance. Or actually, it’s Kelly who pursues the romance. Graham likes Kelly but he’s also immature and not sure how to talk to girls so he always ends up doing or saying something silly or stupid whenever he and Kelly are on the verge of having a “real” moment. On the one hand, this was actually a fairly realistic storyline, at least by Love Boat standards. On the other hand, Baio and McNichol looked so much alike that any scene featuring the two of them was like that picture of the two Spider-Men pointing at each other. Graham also ended up with a very convoluted backstory to explain why he was traveling with a British grandmother (played by Hermoine Baddeley) despite being a kid from Brooklyn. It was one of those overly complicated and distracting things that could have been solved by simply not casting a British stage actress as Baio’s grandmother or not casting a very American actor as Baddeley’s grandson.

Finally, Robert Reed and Loretta Swit played a divorced couple who found themselves on the same cruise. At first, they dreaded seeing each other but then, eventually, they agreed that they still had feelings for each other. Surprisingly enough, the story did not end with Reed and Swit getting back together. Instead, they just grew as people and were now ready to let go of the bitterness that was holding them back in their new relationships. That was actually a pretty good story and I appreciated the realistic resolution. However, before making peace with his ex-wife, Robert Reed came across as being so angry and so bitter that it was actually kind of scary to watch. It turns out that the Love Boat has skeet shooting. If you don’t think the sight of Robert “Mr. Brady” Reed with a rifle wouldn’t be terrifying, this episode is here to prove you wrong!

I have to give this episode a mixed review. Two of the stories worked better than I was expecting but this episode suffered from the miscasting of some of the passengers. Still, the ship and the ocean looked as lovely as ever and really, that’s the important thing.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 9/11/22 — 9/17/22

Posted on September 17, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Though I’ve been busy getting ready for October, I still found time to watch a few things!

Atlanta (Thursday Night, FX)

Donald Glover’s wonderfully surreal series has returned for its fourth and final season. The first two episodes aired on FX this week.

The first episode was strange, funny, and more than a little creepy. Darius’s attempts to return a gift that he didn’t need led to him being pursued by a knife-wielding white woman in a wheelchair. Al’s attempt to honor the memory of a recently deceased singer led him on a scavenger hunt and it also served as a rather moving meditation on just what exactly it means to be famous and whether or not anyone actually pays attention to the lyrics of the music to which they listen. Finally, Earn and Van found themselves trapped in some weird section of Atlanta where they kept running into people that they had dated. Along with letting everyone know that the show had returned from Europe, this episode was a perfect example of the show’s dream logic.

The second episode is one that I’m still processing. The ending presents the viewer with a bit of a litmus test. Who do you feel bad for, Earn or the woman whose life he ruined? Is it possible to feel bad for both of them? Even if it’s possible to do so, should you feel bad for both of them? Reading the reactions online, I was reminded of something that Spike Lee pointed out about Do The Right Thing, in that black audiences were outraged that the police killed Radio Raheem while white audiences were usually more upset about Sal losing his business. It was a thought-provoking episode. It was also one that finally gave audiences a look into Earn’s mind, revealing not only why he dropped out of Princeton but also that he was the victim of childhood abuse. (That might explain the nightmare that he had a the start of the third season.) The episode ended with Earn celebrating his elaborate revenge while also realizing that he he needed to return to the therapy.

The Bachelorette (Tuesday Night, ABC)

So, after the end of the first part of the finale (seriously, of all the seasons to drag out, why this one?), Gabby is pretty much stuck with Erich and Rachel is stuck with Tino. I don’t see any of this ending well. To be honest, Erich has every right to be concerned about the idea of getting engaged on a reality show. And Aden had every right to be worried about what his relationship with Rachel would be like once the show ended. But, as many have pointed out, everyone knows what they’re getting into when they sign up to appear on this show.

So, in short, I have sympathy for no one but Meatball.

Big Brother 24 (24/7, CBS and Paramount Plus)

The season’s nearly over! I’ve been writing about all of it at the Big Brother Blog!

The Challenge (Wednesday Night, CBS)

The Challenge came to a two-hour conclusion this week. Enzo and Tyson …. well, neither one of them was the winner. It’s always strange when the people who dominate a reality show don’t end up winning. Instead, Danny and Sarah won. I was happy to see that two Survivors won the game but still, it’s kind of like who cares?

The Emmys (Monday Night, NBC)

Eh. The Emmys never really do much for me and I have to admit that I largely had the show on for background noise. (I was actually watching two movies — Flight 93 and then Seven — while occasionally checking in with the Emmys.) I was happy that Amanda Seyfried won but Yellowjackets losing to Succession and Barry losing to Ted Lasso pretty much ruined the night for me. As well, how did Bob Odenkirk not win an Emmy?

Jimmy Kimmel getting dragged for his stupid “passed out” routine was the most entertaining part of the night. Many have correctly pointed out that he intruded on Quinta Brunson’s moment. Technically, his joke would have intruded on any winner’s moment but the fact that it occurred while the first black woman to win the Emmy for Outstanding Writing For A Comedy Series attempted to give her acceptance speech definitely made matters worse.

Of course, some of this is the risk you take whenever you have a comedian serve as a presenter at an awards show. That’s one reason why I cringe whenever I see a certain former SNL star presenting an Oscar or a Golden Globe because I automatically know that there’s no way he’s going to give up the spotlight without a fight.

Devil in Ohio (Netflix)

This miniseries is about a psychiatrist (in Ohio!) who allows a girl to live with her and her family after the girl escapes from a Satanic cult that is led by her father (in Oho!). Emily Deschanel plays the psychiatrist and gives a performance that will really leave you wishing they had cast Zooey instead.

I watched the first episode on Monday morning and it felt almost like a parody of a typical Netflix show, right down to the middling performances, the unnecessary filler, and the performative wokeness. A good deal of the show dealt with Deschanel’s daughter starting a new year in high school. She has a crush on the editor of the school newspaper and I have to admit that I laughed out loud when he approached her and he just happened to be wearing a “Notorious RBG” t-shirt. I’m sure that’s really a hot seller in rural Ohio.

As for the show itself, I was pretty bored and I doubt I’m going to watch more of it.

Full House (Sunday Evening, MeTV)

Aunt Becky finally had the twins! For some reason, the birth was broadcast on Good Morning, San Francisco. Why would Aunt Becky agree to this? Anyway, I guess Uncle Jesse’s going to have to give up his silly dreams of rock stardom and become an adult now, right?

Inspector Lewis (YouTube)

Lewis and Hobson are a cute couple but there are still murders to be solved. And Hathaway is still struggling with all the evil in the world. The episode that I watched this week featured an elderly professor getting run over by a car. I hate to admit it but I watched the episode on Tuesday and, as I type of this review on Saturday, I can’t remember who the murderer was. I just know that Lewis didn’t seem to be as a depressed as usual and that’s good thing.

The Love Boat (Paramount+)

On the one hand, this show makes me want to go on a cruise. But, on the other hand, I specifically want to go on a cruise in 1977 and I want all of the passengers to be a mix of television actors and retired movie stars. I need a time machine.

Mike Judge’s Beavis and Butt-Head (Paramount+)

Old Beavis and Butt-Head kind of freak me out but it was still fun to watch them serve on a jury. That said, I was still relieved when the younger and more hopeful versions of the characters appeared in the episode’s second story. The Freaky Friday twist was nice. I liked how the dude waited for his girlfriend to go into the 7-11 before he smashed Beavis and Butt-Head’s heads together for a second time. That was considerate of him.

Monarch (Tuesday Night, FOX)

This is the latest attempt at a guilty pleasure soap from a network that specializes in them. Trace Adkins and Susan Sarandon play Albie and Dottie Roman, the King and Queen of Country Music. Judging from the first episode, it looks like it could be fun. Albie is known as being “the Texas truth teller” but has a history of infidelity. Dottie is dying and has frequent visions of a burning barn. All of the children are angry with each other for one reason or another. Like I said, fun.

If nothing else, you have to appreciate the bizarre pairing of the unapologetically conservative Trace Adkins with outspoken Sanders supporter Susan Sarandon. It’s fun to imagine the set of the show, with Adkins having a beer and talking about his new truck while Sarandon harangues everyone to read Das Kapital. Anyway, this show seems like it could be melodramatic enough to hold my interest. I’ll give it a chance.

The premiere episode ended, in true cliffhanger fashion, with Dottie apparently dying. We’ll see if she’s actually dead or not next week, I guess. If she is dead, will Sarandon appear in flashbacks or as a ghost? I’m hoping as a ghost.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 1.2 “A Tasteful Affair / Oh, Dale! / The Main Event”

Posted on September 14, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s time to set sail on adventure and set your mind on a new romance!

Episode 1.2 “A Tasteful Affair / Oh, Dale! / The Main Event”

(Directed by Richard Kinon, Adam Rafkin, and Stuart Margolin, originally aired on October 1st, 1977)

The second episode of The Love Boat was all about fighting lovers.

For instance, one storyline — I assume it’s the one that was called “The Main Event” — features Sherman Hemsley as Maurice Marshall and LaWanda Page as his wife, Stella. From the minute that they get on the boat, Maurice and Stella are arguing but it soon becomes obvious that, like many couples who have been together for a while, arguing is just the way that they express their love for each other. The insults may be frequent but they’re always affectionate, which is kind of sweet. Anyway, while on their way to dinner in the ship’s lounge, they get stuck in an elevator. After arguing about the best way to escape from the elevator, they end up making out. Of course, when the doors to the elevator do finally open, Captain Stubing and Gopher see that the couple, rather than being dead, are instead making good use of the space. Everyone laughs. Seriously, that’s the entire story. Two people get suck in an elevator and make out. That’s it. You know, you can fool around on a moving elevator as well. You don’t have to fry the circuitry ahead of time. Just listen for the ping before the elevator doors open.

In a rather more serious storyline, Jaclyn Smith plays Janette Bradford, the wife of a wealthy but heartless man named Lucas (David Knapp). Lucas is convinced that Janette is only taking the cruise alone because she’s planning on cheating on him. Lucas hires a private investigator named Dennis Kingsley (Dennis Cole) to watch her on the boat. Dennis soon discovers that Janette is not cheating on her husband but instead, she took the cruise because she needed a break from his controlling and emotionally abusive ways. Dennis ends up falling in love with Janette and Janette with him. However, Dennis also knows that he’s going to have to tell her the truth about why he’s on the cruise. It doesn’t quite lead to heartbreak but it’s still far more serious than anything you might expect to see on a show of The Love Boat‘s reputation. Jaclyn Smith, it should be said, does a wonderful job in the role of Janette, capturing both the vulnerability of someone in an abusive relationship and also her growing determination to escape from Lucas’s control.

Unfortunately, while all of this is going on, you have to deal with John Ritter playing a guy whose lover actually is cheating on him. Ritter plays Dale. Dale wants to follow his girlfriend on the cruise for the same reason that Lucas hired Dennis to spy on Janette. Dale suspects that he’s being cheated on. However, the cruise is almost entirely sold out. There’s only one ticket left but it’s to share a cabin that’s already occupied by a woman. Since Dale is not a woman, he can’t buy the ticket. So, of course, Dale steals a blonde wig and a suitcase full of the frumpiest dresses imaginable. Can you guess where this is going? Dale gets his cabin, falls in love with his cabinmate (played, in a likable performance, by Tovah Feldshuh), and spends a lot of time changing clothes in the ship’s linen closet. Captain Stubing ends up getting a crush on the mysterious woman with the big blonde hair and the ugly dresses and yes, it’s as stupid as it sounds with a heavy dose of cringey 70s gay panic humor tossed in to boot. It doesn’t help that John Ritter gives such a frantic performance in the role that I actually got nervous watching him. “Calm down!” I wanted to say.

As you can guess, the tone is all over the place in this episode. That’s to be expected when you’re telling three stories at one time but there’s such an imbalance between Jaclyn Smith acting depressed and fragile and John Ritter doing pratfalls that it ultimately takes away from both stories. With the second episode of The Love Boat, it seems obvious that the show was still struggling to find the right balance between drama and comedy. As well, this episode suffers because the crew isn’t given much to do. The first episode was enjoyable because the main cast had a fun chemistry but, in this episode, everyone is a bystander except for Captain Stubing. Unfortunately, this episode couldn’t even treat Stubing consistently as the elevator storyline requires Stubing to be significantly smarter than the Stubing who appears in the John Ritter storyline.

Would the show ever succeed in finding and striking the right balance? We’ll see what happens next week!